Okay, Mr. Davis.
This Azelastine should take care of those allergies.
Thank you.
Hay-fever season wreaks havoc on my sinuses.
Well, is there anything else I can do for you?
No. I'm just trying to spend more time with my patients
to make sure they don't feel shortchanged.
That's okay.
I feel like I got correct changed.
(LAUGHS) Good!
Then we can talk about me.
Ooh, a lot of stuff been going on with me lately.
My resident, Julie, left to do a pediatric fellowship, and...
Oh! I tried stand-up comedy at the Laugh Factory.
Spoiler alert... I killed.
(BOTH LAUGH)
If I could just...
And that's the problem
when you're blessed with two massive talents.
Comedy, medicine... Where can I do the most good?
Are you asking me?
No, it's rhetorical.
Anyway, I decided to go lives over laughs
because what matters to me most
are my patients and their needs.
And... Oh.
And I know what you need...
To get to the pharmacy before it closes?
(LAUGHS) No, silly.
A link to my website where you can watch my performance.
(CHUCKLES) Have fun, stay healthy,
and I'll see you back in a week to treat your split sides.
Ooh.
Looks like staying in medicine was the right call.
(LAUGHS) Okay.
Leave the jokes to me, sniffles.
Poor Allison.
I mean, she's been killing herself at work lately.
Last night, she was like,
"Wah! I work so hard, baby.
"I never get to see the kids. Wah!"
Are you sympathizing with her or mocking her?
I should cut her some slack.
She is in a tough sitch.
Well, she is the one who said "I do" all those years ago.
(BOTH LAUGH)
No, it's her psychiatry practice.
She's been wall-to-wall with patients,
her commute is brutal.
She complains about it constantly.
Let me guess... "Wah!"
Whoa, dude, that's not cool.
That's my wife you're talking about.
Hey, Ken, I couldn't help but hear you bloviate
about Allison's work woes,
and, well, we do have an opening
here at Welltopia in the Looney Wing.
I really don't think it's appropriate to call it that.
Well, if Robert and Eleanor Looney
are generous enough to endow our psychiatric wing,
then I will honor them by using their name.
So what do you think, Ken?
You think Allison would be interested?
Here? Mmm-hmm.
Where I work? (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Oof baboof.
I really think she'd miss her commute.
Uh, but you just said her commute was brutal.
Um, no. Brutal, as in epic. Sick!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Keep up with the lingo, gramps.
(GROANS) I mean, your wife is a gem,
and having her here would just be...so brutal.
Call Allison Park.
Your Blackberry doesn't do that.
No, I was talking to Clark.
Call Allison Park.
No, no, no, Clark. No, uh... No.
She's with a patient. You know?
Probably gonna be a long sesh.
No calls during a sesh? Damn it!
That's just the kind of go-getter we need around here.
You mark my words, Ken... I will have you wife.
I mean professionally.
I mean, I'd never be inappropriate with a coworker.
Well, except for ones that I find irresistible.
Don't do that. Good call.
Okay. So let me get this straight.
You wouldn't want Allison working here
even though it would make her life easier?
Look, don't get me wrong. Allison's my wife.
You know, I think she might be the one.
But I think we need
a little healthy separation sometimes.
You know, I mean, if I can't do
spot-on impressions of my wife behind her back,
then why am I here?
To cure sick people?
Oh, good. Good looking out.
I mean, I get it.
You wouldn't want to work with your boyfriend every day.
Wait. What does Connor do, anyway?
Okay, here's the interesting thing about that.
I don't know.
(SCOFFS) But... But you've been together for like...
Three months. Yeah, I know.
And he told me on our first date,
but I was so busy picturing us hiking.
He was carrying our water.
I was carrying our twins.
I mean, I know I should have asked him to repeat himself, but I didn't.
And now it just feels like too much time has passed.
So what? You just don't talk about work?
Oh, no, no. He talks about work all the time.
Like, I know there's this woman, Elyse,
who constantly steals his yogurt from the break-room fridge.
And I know there's this guy, Christophe,
who everyone thinks is so smart
but really, he's just Belgian.
Yo.
That yogurt nonsense is messed up.
No, the whole thing is "messed up."
He should write his name on it.
I know I should be able to tell him anything,
but he's just... He's so sensitive.
What if he freaks out?
I... I can't risk it.
Look.
Here's one thing that I know for sure.
Somebody eat my yogurt, they gonna hear about it!
You know what? Let me go check this refrigerator.
Somebody might be in my stuff and I...
(GROANS)
Yes!
What are you doing?
This is how I keep my Roshambo game sharp.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
Check it out. Just got my SAT scores.
How'd you do?
Haven't opened it yet, but I think we both know.
What?
Oh, no!
Well, at least you're pretty.
How did this happen?
I am super smart, both book and street.
I was prepared.
I thought I did well.
I dropped the pencil like a mike.
Mom and dad are gonna freak out.
They're high-achieving doctors
who poured all their hopes and dreams into me!
No offense. None taken.
What am I gonna do?
Maybe mom and dad don't have to know.
Just take it again, do better,
and that's the score you show them.
But that'll take months. They know my scores were due any day.
Leave that part to me.
I'm a master strategist.
When they're expecting paper, we'll throw scissors.
Not literally.
I know what a metaphor is.
Do you?
Mom stuck in traffic again?
Yeah. She feels bad, but she said we should eat without her.
I hate being a latchkey kid.
Latchkey kids don't have any adult supervision.
I stand by it.
Hey, if no one's supervising,
then who made you these sick PB and J's?
I'm getting notes of candy coating.
Oh, yeah, well, we're out of peanut butter,
so I had to use Reese's Pieces, and...
Oh! Horizontal! Horizontal!
(LAUGHS) Okay.
Ooh. So Mol, still no SAT scores?
Not yet.
Man, they should be here any day now, shouldn't they?
Not necessarily.
There's some issue with the SAT scores and e-mail,
to hear NPR tell it.
Really?
Dad, enough about us. Let's talk about you.
Aww. Thanks, Dave.
Mol, learn from this.
Wine me. Hard.
Sorry, guys.
The commute took even longer
because Waze and I are in a fight.
And ever since they raised my office rent,
I have to make time for every nutface
who walks through the door.
And of course, every one of them
has a different insurance company.
And that's fun.
'Cause I went to Yale to become a bookkeeper.
Did you wine me? Oh, you already drank it, sunshine.
Oh, come on! (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
(SIGHS)
I swear, the only thing that's keeping me going
is that yoga class I'm gonna squeeze in at lunch tomorrow.
Man, you're able to get away to do yoga?
Sweet gig!
I would stay at that job forever,
come what may.
Dad made sandwiches.
Thank God. I worked through lunch again.
Are there Reese's Pieces on this?
Sorry. We're out of peanut butter, and I had to improvi...
Don't you ever apologize for candy on a sandwich.
Freakin' amazing.
(BOTH LAUGH)
But not an acceptable dinner, kids.
So, SAT scores come yet?
E-mail backlog, NPR, we already covered it, yawn.
Oh, well, I'm glad you covered it.
Shouldn't we be getting a hard copy?
Not if the postal strike happens.
What postal strike?
The one that's looming, to hear NPR tell it.
(CELLPHONE CHIMES)
Why do I have a voicemail from Pat in your office?
Oh, that. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Pat, I mean he's always saying,
"Say hi to Allison for me."
But he thinks I never do it, so you can delete that one.
No, I'll listen to it just to be sure.
No. Come on, come on.
No one listens to voicemails anymore.
Get with it, grandma. (CHUCKLES)
My dad's left several over the last week.
Delete.
What's wrong with you?
(OVER VOICEMAIL) Allison, Pat Hein here.
First of all, hi.
I'm not sure Ken passed that along.
Second, we have an opening at the psychiatry clinic
here at Welltopia that I think you'd be perfect for.
Call back to discuss, and have a brutal day.
Pat's offering me a job where you work?
Yeah, and I know it's tempting,
but honestly, we should really consider...
Tempting? Oh, God no. Please. (LAUGHS)
Working with you all the time? I don't think so.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
Can you imagine?
There is not enough yoga in the world.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS) Really? 'Cause there's a lot of yoga.
(BOTH LAUGH)
(LAUGHING)
Why are you laughing?
I don't know. Sugar high from my sandwich?
(LAUGHS)
Baby, thank you so much for bringing me breakfast.
Ugh, I had to get out of that office.
The list of the top 10 companies in our industry came out,
and we were not on it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
(MOUTHING) Ask him now. I guess that industry is...
(MOUTHING) Ask him.
...very competitive.
Hey, Connor. What you do again? Hey.
Oh, uh, well, I'm a...
(LOUD GRINDING)
(GRINDING STOPS) Hey!
Check out my new cordless coffee grinder.
Sorry, I didn't catch that. What was that?
Oh, no problem. I'm a, uh...
(GRINDING CONTINUES)
Oh, I like a really fine grind.
Oh.
Hey, I got to go. Lunch?
Yes, absolutely, I'll see you at 1:00.
Bye. Mwah. Back to the salt mines.
Yeah. (GROANS)
Well, there's your answer.
Salt miner.
Although he's a little more business casual
than most of the salties I run with.
Hey, Ken, I reached out to Allison about that job.
But not unlike my ex-wife on our honeymoon,
she had that "no" locked and loaded.
Yeah, she doesn't think
us working in the same place is the best idea.
Uh, well, that's the understatement of the year.
You know, I offered her extra vacation time,
an increase in pay and bonuses, and she would not bite.
She wouldn't? No.
She must really not want to be around you.
But don't worry. I'll break her.
Hey, you wouldn't consider quitting?
Ah, never mind. I'll think of something else.
But, for now, you quitting is the idea to beat.
(COFFEE GRINDING)
Focus on your breathing. This is a safe space.
All your problems stay outside the door.
(VOICE BREAKING) Allison, our marriage is in trouble!
Sorry. One of mine got in.
Sorry.
Okay, why are you spinning out this time?
You've been talking about leaving private practice for months.
And yet, you turn down the perfect opportunity because of me?
That really hurts, Allison.
Is being around me so objectionable to you?
At this moment or in general?
I'm serious. When Pat told me
about the possibility of us working together,
I was like, "Hot damn. Make that happen, Pat Hein."
Okay, look. This isn't just about not wanting to work with you.
Although you are a big presence at Welltopia,
and I'd always be in your shadow.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
But I've also worked hard to build my own practice,
and I'm not sure I'm ready to let it go and become an employee.
To steal a phrase from your wedding toast,
"I don't know how I feel about losing my autonomy."
That was actually the rehearsal dinner, but...
So what you're saying is, this is more about your career
and not a problem between you and me?
(CHUCKLING) You and I are fine.
(SIGHS)
It's not about that.
It's about me valuing what I do.
Well...
...you're not the only one who values what you do.
I do, too.
Always have,
and I'll always be here to support you.
(CHUCKLES)
Thanks, Ken.
I needed that.
Everything's gotten so stressful.
What about the yoga class? Doesn't that help?
Some days more than others.
Are you kidding me?
So then I'm like, "With all due respect, Christophe,
"shouldn't we present these ideas
"before the conference call to Denver?"
I mean, what is he thinking? Right?
Right? (CHUCKLES)
Like, it's like...
It's like (BELGIAN ACCENT) Come on, Christophe.
Get with the program. Aah!
Oh. This is nice.
I have never been in a relationship
where I could be so honest about who I am and what I do.
(NORMAL VOICE) Yeah.
Okay.
In that same spirit, I have to say something.
Oh. What is it?
I have no idea what you do at that office.
What? Yeah.
Sorry. Just not a clue.
Wow. Uh, you know what?
I got to go.
Wait, what?
I just need a little time.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SCOFFS)
Damn it.
Dave, the mail is here.
Ooh! Is that Modern Chef?
I'm already salivating.
No! This is bad.
If we're pretending there's a postal strike,
mom and dad can't see a stack of mail!
(MAIL THUDS) Wow.
Where was that kind of problem solving
when you took that test?
Hey, guys.
"Hey, guys." Hilarious.
Does this guy have an off switch? See ya.
So, how was your day?
It was fine.
So, want to talk about this?
How did you get that?
Come on.
When my 11-year-old tells me there's a mail strike
and I see the mailman delivering our mail...
(CHUCKLES)
I put two and two together and realized
it must have been a super-short strike
that got resolved right away.
So, why didn't you tell us?
I thought you'd be upset.
It's just a test. You can always take it again.
(SIGHS) I don't know what happened. I thought I was prepared.
(SCOFFS) Hmm. Been there.
(CHUCKLES) Really?
Yeah. I'm just like you.
First time I took the SATs, I tanked it.
Was grandpa as understanding as you are?
No, he was not. (CHUCKLES)
(KOREAN ACCENT) "What's wrong with you? These scores so low, even for American kid!
"Eh!"
(NORMAL VOICE) But you know, I took 'em again and did better,
got into Duke, became a doctor,
so I know how you feel.
Everything's always come so easy for me.
What if it doesn't anymore?
What if I don't get into a good school?
Dad... I'm scared.
Well, you know,
sometimes life is scary, but you know what?
I never worry about you.
You got this.
You're gonna be fine.
Thanks, Dad.
I love you.
Love you more.
Hi.
Oh, hey, mom.
What's going on? Is everything okay?
Yeah, Molly didn't do so well on her SATs.
But she'll take 'em again. It'll be fine.
I've got everything under control.
KitKat panini?
Please come home and make dinner tomorrow.
We're almost out of Halloween candy.
Good news... the postal strike is over.
Bad news...our mail got shredded by birds.
Thanks, Dave, but they know.
You mean I tore up my Modern Chef for nothing?
It was their truffle issue!
And then he walked out,
and I haven't heard from him since.
(STAMMERS) I knew I shouldn't have said anything.
I have ruined the best relationship of my life.
Well, you know what?
If Connor walked out on you for that,
then maybe your relationship wasn't as great as you thought it was.
Oh! Says the lady who hasn't had a boyfriend in two years.
Look. Hi.
Hi. Oh, my God. Hi. Hi.
I'm so sorry about last night.
No, you were right.
I was? Yep. You put it perfectly...
"What do I do at that office?"
That was my question.
I have spent four years at a job I don't even like,
and you opened my eyes.
So, this morning, I marched right down to Amalgamated, and I quit.
(LAUGHS)
So thank you for giving me the courage to do this.
You're welcome.
And because of you, I am finally free
to pursue my dream. (GASPS)
Baby, I am so happy for you. (LAUGHS)
All right. I'll see you tonight? Yeah.
I have no idea what his dream is.
Hey. How did everything go with Allison yesterday?
Oh, it's all good.
Yeah, she decided she's not gonna work here.
She was like, "Wah!
"I can't focus when I'm around you, Ken.
"I love you so much. Wah!"
You know how needy she is.
No, Ken. Tell us.
How needy is she?
Hey, you!
Yeah! Oh, this?
No, we were talking about Allison... Wonderland.
"Wah! I'm through the looking glass, baby. Wah!"
Great save. Thank you.
Can we, uh...? Hmm?
Can we...? Hmm?
Oh, my God.
I can't stop thinking about Pat's offer.
Really?
Yesterday when you said you'd always support me,
would that include if I were to work here?
Absolutely.
Then I think I'm gonna do it.
I think you should.
(CHUCKLES)
Mmm.
What made you change your mind?
Molly.
It killed me last night
watching you parent her all by yourself,
and I wasn't there for her.
And it hit me, this is gonna be her last year at home.
Not necessarily. Did you see those scores?
J-K.
L-O-L.
Wink emoji.
This is gonna be a pivotal year for her,
and Dave's starting middle school.
I want to be there for them rather than battling traffic on the 405
while they're at home eating candy sandwiches.
Yeah, Dave was up till 4:00 in the morning.
I gave him a soda and sent him back to bed.
And I want you to be there for them and for me.
And it's time for a new challenge.
It is a good situation.
I mean, who knew I'd be making more than you?
What? Geez. What did Pat offer you?
Everything! I just kept saying no,
and he kept thinking I was playing hardball.
(LAUGHS)
You know what? This is gonna be great.
I think so, too.
But, in the future,
um, when you come into our bullpen,
is there any way you could make a noise or, you know,
just like a little heads up? (CHUCKLES)
Like, "Wah"?
It's not bad.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Well, a lot of big changes afoot at Casa de Park.
Yeah. You and I are gonna be working together.
Molly's gonna be buckling down.
And the mail strike is over, thank God.
Between the two of us,
there's no challenge we can't handle.
(DOOR OPENS)
Dad?
(KOREAN ACCENT) Your mom's in Korea for rest of the year.
I live here now.
What? Check your voicemail!