Okay, Mom, have a safe flight.
(CHUCKLES) Yes, I'll call and check in on Dad.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Please don't send us anything from Korea.
Because we still have three pounds of roasted silkworm
from your last trip!
Okay, no. Here. The kids want to say goodbye.
Aww, they're blowing kisses.
Okay, safe flight. Love you, too.
(CHUCKLES)
Whew!
For the next two weeks, she's Korea's problem.
Have fun, Korea!
Well, she's a picnic next to your father.
We're going on a picnic?
(SCOFFS) Come on. My dad's not that bad.
Oh, yeah. Tell us again about that time when you were a kid
and you thought you saw him smile.
Look, my sister saw it, too, so I'm not lying.
He's got a good heart. So he's a little gruff.
A little gruff?
At our wedding, he told my cousin Janice
she was dressed like a tramp.
Was he wrong?
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Dad?
What are you doing here?
Is that mom's suitcase? Did she forget it?
No. Mom gone. I stay with you.
Quality time.
Um, D.K., did we miss an e-mail from you about this?
No e-mail. Quality time!
Ugh.
Hey, why'd you leave Lisa's party last night?
Oh, I caught a cold.
Now my head hurts, I'm dehydrated, and kind of queasy.
Did you drink too much?
Not alcohol.
I just had nine glasses of that punch
with all the fruit in it.
The sangria?
I guess.
Anyway, that virus hit me so hard,
I barfed all over my Uber driver.
And then I needed to go home and make mac and cheese.
And then I fell asleep on my kitchen counter.
I never do that.
Okay, couple of things. Um...
There is alcohol in nine sangrias...
And your mystery virus is a hangover.
What?
I have a hangover? Mmm-hmm.
Wow. I'm kind of a cool-ass bitch.
Oh, you guys. I have a serious problem.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, easy on the volume, bro.
I totally tied one off last night.
Whew!
Okay, look. After that party,
I did something real stupid dumb. JULIE: Oh, girl...
We all does cray d's when we're gettin' krunk.
It's all good.
That's got to stop right now.
Okay, so what happened? Yeah, what did you do?
It's not what I did.
Permission to come aboard...
Again?
(SCREAMS)
Say something.
Eww?
Not that!
You slept with Pat? (SCOFFS)
Our boss, Pat?
Shh! Don't say it so loud!
What? You and Pat?
Man, did I pick the right day
to come in late wearing quiet footwear.
Oh, God.
Oh, Damona and Pat! Whoo!
I can't believe I'm gonna ask this, but was it...
Okay?
Child, please. When I'm driving the train,
it always gets to the station.
To the station! (LAUGHS)
Here's the thing.
I don't like him like that,
but I think it meant more to him than it did to me.
Wait, is the station an...
Oh.
To the station! (LAUGHS)
(IMITATES TRAIN CHUGGING)
Choo! Choo!
(SIGHS)
Okay, look, he told me I'm the first woman he's been with since his wife left him,
and I could tell last night was kind of filling a void for him.
Oh, my God, I have so many
"filling the void" jokes in my head right now.
Really? I don't have any.
You guys!
Help me!
Okay, okay. You just... You just, just...
Got to get out in front of it, you know?
Just tell Pat that this was just a one-time thing.
Ugh, that's gonna be so awkward. He's my boss!
You're right. Just quit, girl.
Okay, fine.
I'll just tell him it was a small mistake.
Three small mistakes, about 20 minutes apart.
Eww!
Stop saying "eww".
Ooh! Stop saying, "ooh!"
(LAUGHS)
To the station!
Whoa. What's with that cozy blaze?
Oh, your dad fixed the fireplace.
It turns out having a retired engineer around the house
is pretty helpful.
And to think, you're the one who wanted him
out in the street with paper bags for shoes.
Ah, yes, my exact words.
But I'm glad you talked some sense into me,
because he also re-caulked the kids' bathtub,
and he fixed the ice maker. Why?
'Cause it didn't make ice.
Well, sounds like Dad got ahold of my to-do list.
Yeah, we dug it out of the family archives.
Mmm, mmm, ooh, good one.
The first thing on it was "assemble Molly's crib."
Ha-ha.
I'm digging your stand-up routine about how I don't do stuff.
Look, I'm a very busy man, Al,
but it just so happens I plan on doing a lot of those things this week.
Oh, good.
So, you're gonna go back and hang those curtains in our old house?
Oh, keep them coming, Al. Comedy gold.
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! What are you doing?
D.K.: Organizing junk drawer.
Why is there picture of me and your mother in here?
We gave you as gift!
Oh, there it is.
I've been looking all over for it.
Yeah, why'd you stick it in there, Allison?
Okay, I'll see you guys later.
DR. KEN: Where are you going?
To Sadie's house to watch Mockingjay.
On a school night?
(DISHWASHER WHIRRING LOUDLY) I said it was okay
if it had a strong female lead!
What's wrong with dishwasher?
It's old!
Why can't I watch a movie on a school night?
Because you're 10!
I'm 11!
You know what I mean!
This dishwasher so loud.
Eh, the rinse cycle's a little wonky.
We're used to it.
It's the soundtrack of my youth.
You need new one.
Yeah, I know. It's on my to-do list, okay?
Allison told me about your to-do list.
You write fiction?
(ALL LAUGH)
Oh, so, I guess you were the opening act for him, huh?
Anyone else going up tonight?
So what time will you be home?
Mol?
Your mom's talking to you.
Put down phone. It's rude.
Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I was doing that.
When will you be home?
I don't know. 11:00?
No. School night. You be home by 10:00.
Okay, Dad. We got this. Her curfew's 11:00.
Last night, she stayed up late.
This morning, she was very tired.
You know, I was dragging today.
See? Listen to your body.
Nature's curfew.
Okay. Thanks, Grandpa. See you at 10:00.
Can you believe that?
I know! He even fixed Molly!
Hey. How'd your talk go with Pat yesterday?
It didn't. He never came in.
And he didn't call or text? Nope.
Oh, sorry. Force of habit.
I haven't heard from him at all.
Maybe you're off the hook.
I hope so.
The last thing I want is an awkward conversation.
Listen up, people.
I have an announcement to make
about an exciting development in my personal life.
Oh. Please.
Please, no.
We all know how rumors spread around the office...
And that's why nobody should talk about anything to anybody.
Back to work, people.
Damona... I want do this.
I want to get out ahead of the gossip mill and let you all know
that I will be getting back together
with my ex-wife, Tiffany.
That's right.
We're in the process of mending fences...
Like the one in her front yard
that I drove through in a rage last month.
But seriously,
I'd like to thank you all for your unspoken congratulations.
Well, hey! (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Lucky you. You get to skip
that awkward conversation after all.
Yeah, it looks like that night with you
meant absolutely nothing to him.
You must be so relieved.
Oh, I am so relieved!
(ALL CHUCKLE)
Great, 'cause it just meant nothing.
I mean, less than nothing. Like, nothing.
Damona... Oh.
I feel I owe you an explanation.
Oh, no. You don't owe me a thing
except maybe, at some point, my bra.
Ah, already in the mail.
Book rate, should arrive in eight to 10 business days.
But I want to thank you.
For what?
Well, helping me to put things into perspective.
Hmm. I mean, sure. We had fun.
Raw, animalistic...
Boundary-pushing fun.
But it was empty.
I mean, it was devoid of any real romance or feeling.
Uh-huh.
But if it wasn't for you
and that hollow experience
that we stumbled upon together... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
...I might never have appreciated
the depth of what I have with Tiffany.
(SMACKS LIPS)
Glad I could help. Aw.
Oh, and I wanted you to have this.
Oh.
(CHUCKLES) What is this?
That's the tracking number for your brassiere.
Guess which baller hit a fancy appliance store on his way home from work
and walked out with a floor model.
Holla!
Actually, you don't have to holler. The baller was me.
A floor model dishwasher?
Yeah, it's just got a tiny scratch on the door.
You really have to look for it, though.
Found it.
Oh, here's another.
Okay, the point is,
I'm pretty good at taking care of my nest, yo.
Your dad bought us a dishwasher this afternoon, yo.
European, new. In box.
Oh, no dings.
Remember our frosted drinking glasses?
Turns out they were just dirty.
And grandpa installed it himself.
(SIGHS) No bigs, you know.
I was gonna install this one myself.
According to this, you paid an extra $200 for me to install it.
Well, that, that's obviously a typo.
Well, you signed it and initialed it in four places, so I...
Okay, thank you, delivery guy/memory expert.
Now, can you start uninstalling this one, please?
Ken, are you crazy? We're not taking this one out.
It has smart washing technology!
And Wi-Fi.
You can turn it on from your car.
Which mom just let me do.
Wait, wait, wait. It's on?
Yeah, it's super quiet.
It's like our dishes are being licked clean by angels.
Beautifully put. I'd keep that one.
That thing's cherry.
Fine. You know what?
Take your stupid dishwasher
and your clipboard of lies
and go back to Appliance World, okay, pal?
You can't return floor models,
so I'll just leave it in your driveway.
No, it's gonna get all dinged up.
Don't worry, Dad. A few more won't make a difference.
Look, there's another one.
Oh, and Maytag Is spelled wrong.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Hey. Um...
I kind of think we should talk
about what happened between us.
Oh, good.
Yeah, it's been on my mind, too.
Please. Oh.
Damona...
I'm sorry I mailed your bra book rate.
Wait. Are we talking about my bra?
No.
No, we're talking about my behavior,
which was unacceptable.
But I realized there was something behind it.
Oh. Mmm-kay.
It's just...
I've been burned before.
I mean, priority mail costs twice as much,
and sometimes the difference is only like a day.
Are you serious right now?
Yeah, and express mail, well, that's a total sham.
Don't even get me st... Okay, okay, okay!
Will you stop it with the postal rates?
Well... You are acting like nothing happened between us.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm sexy.
Men don't sleep with me
and then go running back to their ex-wives.
They come back wanting more.
Well, I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt...
I don't get my feelings hurt.
I hurt feelings.
Your boat smells like cheese!
Hey, what's going on?
I helped Grandpa replace the broken shingles
before El Nino comes.
I thought you were afraid of climbing ladders.
I thought I was, too, but Grandpa said I wasn't.
You're not.
See? I'm not!
I told you that you weren't.
Yeah, but Grandpa's more believable.
And look! He even gave me my own tool belt.
Time to make him a man.
Somebody's got to do it, huh?
(BOTH LAUGH)
I know it's time to make him a man.
I have a reminder on my phone.
(IMITATING D.K.) Time to make him a man.
Somebody's got to do it.
(LAUGHS)
Ooh, Wi-Fi.
You can turn it on from the car.
Ooh, yes.
(DISHWASHER POWERS DOWN)
Let's see you start it from the car now.
(CHUCKLING)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Dad, Grandpa just sold the driveway dishwasher
for a hundred bucks more than you paid for it.
And that's what you call a Park negotiation.
Yeah, great technique.
You just keep glaring at them
until they're so uncomfortable, they cave.
It worked on your mother.
Proposal took 17 minutes.
(SOFTLY) Okay, please stop.
(CELLPHONE CHIMES)
Huh? I just got a text from the dishwasher. (CELLPHONE CHIMES)
Me too. There's some kind of error.
Well, you know what they say about European appliances.
That they're the best in the world?
They raise the value of your home?
They combine elegance and efficiency?
Hmm. Makes no sense.
Should work.
Well, it doesn't. So much for the value of our home.
I'm gonna text its friends, see if they know anything.
Anyone have contact info for the wine fridge?
That's not how it works, honey.
You're right. I'll just call it.
It's ringing.
Well, your father pulled the entire dishwasher out from the wall,
and he's re-checking every wire and hose.
Boy, what is it with him and that thing?
He's like the Moby Dick of dishwashers.
Or maybe the dishwasher is Moby Dick?
I'll be honest, never read it.
Not a huge Michael Crichton guy.
Okay.
What's going on with you?
Nothing. Really?
I was the one who was so against your father's visit,
but everything he's done since he got here has upset you.
I don't have any issues with my dad, okay?
What the hell is this?
You broke dishwasher on purpose?
Oh, look, an issue. I'll be upstairs.
Oh. Where'd you find that?
You know where. In junk drawer I organized!
I went looking for a wrench
and I find lies!
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?
Look, ever since you got here, all you've done is
fix everything!
So? What's wrong with that?
You made me look bad in front of my family!
It's like you think I'm not man enough
to take care of things on my own. It's like I'm soft.
Oh, yeah. You're soft. You're soft like marshmallow.
Aha! So you're not gonna deny it.
You're so soft, if I ever fall out of building,
I hope I land on you.
Okay. Kind of doubling down.
Ken...
I had to learn how to fix things
because we had no money.
But you, you're a doctor.
(SCOFFS) Oh. Much better.
Because I have money?
No. Because you fix people.
Much better than fixing dishwasher
or bathtub or roof tiles
or ceiling fan or...
Okay, can we get back to how I'm better than you?
I didn't mean to make you feel bad.
But you're a very important, busy man.
I'm trying to do what I could to help you.
I'm proud of you, son.
Thanks, Dad.
Should we hug?
Nah.
We hugged at Thanksgiving.
Oh, yeah. That's right.
Hey, where are you going? To fix dishwasher.
Oh, come on, Dad.
I took it off. I'll put it back on.
So what do you think? Super glue or duct tape?
Hand it over, cotton ball.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, also, if you have a minute,
the vacuum's blowing out, not in, so...
I'll look at it. (CHUCKLES)
Ah... Dishwasher, vacuum.
(CHUCKLING) Man, I am really getting stuff done.
Damona.
I've been thinking a lot about what you said today in my office,
and, uh, I, I just want you to know that, uh...
What happened between us...
You know, the sex stuff...
Well, not only was it great, but it...
It did mean something to me.
But you said... I know I...
That was just because I didn't think you cared.
But what you showed me today is that you do.
Well, I was, you know, just being emotional,
'cause you know how I get about postal rates.
Oh, yeah.
And you should probably also know
that when I announced that I was getting back together with my ex-wife,
I may have spoken a little too soon.
How much too soon?
Before I actually spoke to her.
Yeah, seems she does not share my enthusiasm for the idea.
Or for old-fashioned serenades in her place of work.
(CHUCKLES)
I guess air-traffic controllers
have to "stay focused."
(LAUGHS)
So I'm back on the boat in every sense.
Meaning, the gangplank is extended.
The mast is up.
I get the metaphor.
Ah.
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your wife.
Ah, well, thank you. Thanks.
(BOTH CLEAR THROATS)
(SCOFFS) So, I hurt your feelings, huh?
(SCOFFS) I didn't say all that.
(CHUCKLES) No, no. Ah, totally, totally.
Yeah, yeah.
So, uh...
Feel like maybe...
Grabbing some dinner?
Sure. Let's go.
BOTH: Okay.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Hey, now, just to be clear,
when I say "grab some dinner," I meant go back to my boat...
It's clear. Oh, okay.