1
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,376
Ken, hurry up!

2
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,678
This is why I wanted
to check luggage.

3
00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:14,282
I'm trying to save money,
unlike Imelda Marcos
over here,

4
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,051
who insisted on upgrading
to a fancy rental car.

5
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,453
The first one
they showed us
had no seat belts.

6
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:24,558
Hey! You made me spill
my macadamia nuts!

7
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,926
It's your fault.

8
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:28,462
When someone's text-walking,
they have the right-of-way

9
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,464
'cause they can't
see you.

10
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,633
Typical mainlander.

11
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,235
WOMAN: (OVER PA)
Ladies and gentlemen,

12
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,537
Hawaiian Star Airlines
flight 358 to Los Angeles

13
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:39,540
will now be delayed
approximately three hours.

14
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,542
Oh, no!
Are you
kidding me?

15
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:47,181
(GROANS)

16
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,517
Oh, I guess I'm
stuck in this seat
for three hours.

17
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,819
Oh, my God, no seat belt.
Hope I don't fall out.

18
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,789
Speaking of seats,
ours are messed up.

19
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,091
You said you were
gonna check them.

20
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,926
In my defense,
I didn't check them.

21
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,429
Okay. Just saying
'in my defense'
is not a defense.

22
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,197
In my defense,
I thought it was.

23
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,665
(SIGHS)

24
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:05,966
There's only three
of them together.

25
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,768
The fourth one's
like 20 rows back.

26
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,171
I'll just hit the desk
when the line dies down

27
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:12,840
and take care of
"Uh-binness."

28
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,876
Can you just say it
like a normal person?

29
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,478
I could if I wanted
to pop less.

30
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:20,481
Ugh!
What's wrong?

31
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,750
Trevor still hasn't
texted me back.

32
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,418
It's been, like,
forever.

33
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,887
Well, maybe that's because
he's not a nice person

34
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,189
and doesn't deserve you.

35
00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:30,023
Why are you guys
so hard on Trevor?

36
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,326
Because he's
not a nice person and
doesn't deserve you.

37
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,129
Hey. It's Molly's life.

38
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:36,797
She can date
whoever she wants...

39
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,599
Even a guy who
thought it was okay

40
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,534
to come
and meet her parents
wearing flip-flops.

41
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,136
Exactly.

42
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:45,906
Flip-flops are basically
the 'screw you' of footwear.

43
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:48,376
Yeah, right back
at you, buddy!

44
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,244
Even if Trevor
does text me back,

45
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,379
I'm not gonna
get to see him.

46
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,248
I'm gonna die
in this stupid airport.

47
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,949
I'm gonna
take a walk.

48
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,751
Good idea, Dave.
Get some exercise.

49
00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,020
Can I have money
for two Cinnabons?

50
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:01,855
Aww, that's sweet.

51
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,591
A cinny-b for
your old man.

52
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,860
No, one to eat there
and a roadie for the
walk back.

53
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:18,539
Sir, everybody,
please have patience.
We'll be right with you.

54
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:20,941
Man, sick people
make me sick!

55
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,513
What is going on?
The waiting room
is packed.

56
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:26,647
It's Black Monday.

57
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:29,283
Oh. Best wishes!

58
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:33,821
No! Black Monday
is the first day back
after the holidays.

59
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,823
It's the busiest
day of the year.

60
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,458
(MOCKING)
"Best wishes."

61
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,462
It's the height
of flu season.

62
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,763
It's my least
favorite season.

63
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,267
I love the smell of sick
people in the morning.

64
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,071
Actually,
they smell horrible.

65
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:53,307
That was just an homage
to my favorite dramedy.

66
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:55,676
Apocalypse Now
is a dramedy?

67
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,411
Oh, yeah, there's
some drama in there.

68
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:58,712
It's not all laughs.

69
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,151
Anyway, we've got a ton
of patients out there

70
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,687
in need of our care
and compassion,

71
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,155
so let's move that meat.

72
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:10,758
Where's Dr. Park?

73
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,693
Oh, he's still in Hawaii.

74
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:13,927
Yeah, and the
backup doctor,

75
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,829
Dr. Nayak,
is out with the flu.

76
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,965
Oh, my God,
it's the perfect storm.

77
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,468
Ah, The Perfect Storm.

78
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,836
That is my second
favorite buddy comedy.

79
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,272
What's your favorite?

80
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,773
The Usual Suspects.

81
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:29,277
(CHUCKLING) Yeah, just six...
Six buddies out on a lark.

82
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,314
So, for today,
Dr. Dobbs,

83
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:34,748
you are the
physician in charge.

84
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,052
So, my first day
as lead physician

85
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,521
is on Black Monday?

86
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,856
Oh, God help us.

87
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:45,426
Oh, not 'cause of you.

88
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:48,028
That's just something
we say on Black Monday.

89
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,763
Clark, can I get an amen?

90
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,133
Not for lying.

91
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,040
Ugh!

92
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,342
Still nothing
from Trevor,

93
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,243
and I only have
3% battery left.

94
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:06,013
Aw. I'm only
3% interested.

95
00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,683
I'm gonna just give you
one big eye roll

96
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,385
to cover me for
the rest of the day.

97
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:14,955
(HISSES)

98
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,525
If I get a text,
come get me.

99
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,193
I'll be buying magazines
like someone from the '50s.

100
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,397
(CHUCKLES) She
thinks you're old.

101
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,267
Oh, look,
there's no line.

102
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:30,137
Ooh. I know exactly
how to handle this.

103
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,806
What are you doing?

104
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,141
I'm getting us all
seats together

105
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,743
and probably
some drink vouchers.

106
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:36,910
Ken, that never works.

107
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,513
It got me $5 off
my tire rotation.

108
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,285
Oh, look, it's Dr. Oz.
I love that guy.

109
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,987
(GASPS) Me, too.

110
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,689
Ooh, he's so handsome.

111
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,392
Whoa, whoa,
put it back in your
mom jeans, all right?

112
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:52,626
I should go say hello.

113
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,127
Say hello?
You don't know him.

114
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,563
Eh, we're both doctors.

115
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,465
It's like how Prius owners
always honk at each other.

116
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,436
Mom, those college kids
are playing cards,

117
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,837
and they invited
me to play.

118
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:04,938
That's nice, honey.

119
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,575
The buy-in is $20.

120
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,843
Dave, I don't think
you should be gambling
with strangers.

121
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,179
Yeah, you're right.

122
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,548
Want to help me
finish my travel essay
about our trip?

123
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:18,051
I'm gonna call it
'Hawaii Five-0,
What A Wonderful Time.'

124
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,053
Here's $40.

125
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,855
If you take a bad beat,
you could buy back in.

126
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,694
Well, thank you
for watching.
It means a lot.

127
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,929
All right,
move it along.

128
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,831
Huzzah, huzzah.
(CHUCKLES)

129
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,401
He's a very busy man.
He doesn't want
to be bothered.

130
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:34,735
(CHUCKLING)
Geez.

131
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,236
People don't respect
your space, huh?

132
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:39,072
Big smile.
(LAUGHS)

133
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,207
Give me your number.
I'll text it to you.

134
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,308
No, that's okay.
Thank you.

135
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,677
Dr. Ken park, MD.

136
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:47,014
Just wanted to say 'sup,
you know, doc to doc.

137
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,082
Oh, well, 'sup.
Say, have a great flight.

138
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,284
Ooh! Got the
new 8, huh?

139
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,787
Me, too. Thing's
amazing, isn't it?

140
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,222
Yeah, it's great.

141
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:57,090
I, uh... I use it to get
a lot of work done, so...

142
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,159
(CHUCKLES)
By the way,
I dig your show,

143
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,328
and my wife
thinks you're hot,
so back off!

144
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,330
(CHUCKLES)
Will do.

145
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,866
Ooh, what if there's
a medical emergency
on the flight?

146
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,335
Hey, maybe you
and I can double team
a trach on a choker.

147
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,538
Wouldn't that be tight?

148
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,039
You don't really
sound like a doctor.

149
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,373
Word.

150
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,342
I got a lot
of stuff to do.

151
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:16,910
I'll bet. Listen,

152
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,579
I'm gonna give you
a little freebie here.

153
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,848
I love your hard-hitting
medical stuff,

154
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,149
but some of the
lighter bits,

155
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,584
like when you had
the audience

156
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:26,554
all check their underwear?
(INHALES SHARPLY) Not my fave.

157
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:27,988
You know,
I put in different
kinds of segments

158
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,256
in order to
please everybody.

159
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,858
Well, it did not
please me.

160
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,026
Yeah, I got that
from 'not my fave.'

161
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,995
Whoa, whoa, dude,
take a knee.

162
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,130
I'm just trying
to help you out here.

163
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,532
(CHUCKLES)
I get it.

164
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,434
My sister is one
of you people.

165
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,503
A Turkish American?

166
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:45,172
No. She's a TV doctor.
Dr. Wendi.

167
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,240
And your show
is even better than hers.

168
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:50,243
And you have
a gorgeous head
of TV hair.

169
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:53,514
Just lay off the undies.
That's all I'm sayin'.

170
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,248
You know, people learn
a lot about their health

171
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,684
from checking
their underwear.

172
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,853
Yeah, but since that aired,
I've had a parade of patients

173
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,388
waving their skivvies
in front of me

174
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:04,057
like some sort of
crusty flag...

175
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,359
Except it's not a flag,
it's dirty undies,

176
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,062
which is pretty rough
on a Monday, you feel me?

177
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,230
You know what?
I don't feel you.

178
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,265
What I am feeling is
you're sort of a jerk.

179
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,102
Seriously? That's how
you treat a medical peer?

180
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,770
You're not my peer.

181
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,105
You're some
stranger who accosted
me in the airport

182
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,740
and starting criticizing
my work.

183
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,475
You know,
I'm starting to doubt
that you're even a doctor.

184
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:24,211
You sound more like you're
some '90s hip-hop wannabe.

185
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,680
Aw, snap!
That's cold, G!

186
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,816
Homey, don't play that!

187
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,484
Go away.
I'm going.

188
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,252
Good.

189
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,661
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

190
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,730
Okay, Dr. Dobbs,
friendly reminder

191
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,932
that we are officially
way behind

192
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:49,369
and you are heading
into hour number two
with Mrs. Heller.

193
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:53,607
I was just asking her
about her 1990 knee surgery.

194
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,676
I wouldn't want
to overlook anything.

195
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,911
Like the fact
that she probably
has the flu?

196
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,748
Or that
everyone in her
family has the flu?

197
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,451
Or that, in her own words,
"I know my body,

198
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,086
"and I know
I have the flu"?

199
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,024
Is she through
with Mrs. Heller?

200
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,893
"Is she through
with Mrs. Heller?"

201
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,730
"Is she through
with Mrs. Heller?"

202
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,600
She's not even through
1990 with Mrs. Heller!

203
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,137
Okay, okay.

204
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,539
(WHIMPERING)
Hey.

205
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,407
Hey, Pat, man,
you got to do something.

206
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,042
I've got 100 people
in the waiting room

207
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,912
passing germs around
like the LA damn Clippers!

208
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:34,648
I am way ahead of you.

209
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:35,783
What you gonna do?

210
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,851
I'm preparing
to make a killing.

211
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:41,288
When life gives you phlegm,
you make "phlegm-onade."

212
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,125
Juan-Julio,
have you had
your flu shot?

213
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,660
No.
That's a shame.

214
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,095
We're going in.

215
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:52,399
Candy bars!
Popcorn! Soda!

216
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,701
You can pay
cash, credit,

217
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,168
or put it on your
Welltopia card.

218
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,437
That's our preference.
Don't touch me!

219
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,746
Hi. My family's seats
got messed up,

220
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:06,947
and I need to get
them all together.

221
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,015
Can you help me out?

222
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,417
Oh, I don't think so.

223
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:14,021
Oh, oh, come on.
I'm sure you understand.

224
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,322
You must have a family.

225
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,790
No, but thank you
for bringing up

226
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:19,026
something I'm very
sensitive about.

227
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,797
I'll see what I can do.

228
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,766
(KEYS CLACKING)

229
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,003
Sorry. We're full.

230
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,505
You can find
the person who has 15-D
and ask them to switch.

231
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,474
Hopefully they'll have been
as unlucky in love as me

232
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:35,909
and are traveling solo,

233
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,878
which is also
the name of my blog.

234
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,014
(SIGHS)
Okay, fine.

235
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,515
Any idea
who's in 15-D?

236
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,084
That gentleman
right over there.

237
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,587
Great.

238
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,223
(SIGHS)

239
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,461
(CLEARS THROAT)

240
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,136
Mmm.

241
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,305
Four inches
of hairless chest.

242
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,207
Let me bump you
to first class.

243
00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:11,378
Perfect. All
four of us, please.

244
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,982
Sorry. I was
being sarcastic.

245
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,449
I thought it was clear.

246
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,720
Not cool, lady.

247
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,689
That was a real
roller coaster.

248
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:28,395
Okay, gents,
the game is
Five Card Stud,

249
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:32,099
deuces and
one-eyed jacks
wild, $2 ante.

250
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,902
Oh, wait.

251
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,837
This is my
Old Maid deck.

252
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,842
Guess who I have to get
to switch seats with me?

253
00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,643
Here's a hint,
he hates me.

254
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,246
You're gonna have
to be more specific.

255
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:49,182
Neighbor? Relative?
Teacher? Pharmacist?

256
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,018
Barista? Ooh,
is it a dog?

257
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,853
It's Dr. Oz!

258
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,454
(CELLPHONE DINGS)

259
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,291
Trevor?
(SIGHS)
No, Tammi.

260
00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,960
Trevor still
hasn't texted back.

261
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,929
Little crap face.

262
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,463
I'll tell you, if that
flip-flop-wearing,

263
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,398
toe-proud douche
hurts my girl,

264
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,200
I'm going straight
to his Facebook page

265
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:10,203
to write some
really dark stuff
under a false name.

266
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,873
Wow. You're
a modern hero.

267
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,241
We can't get involved,

268
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:18,011
although if we could,
I'd write this.

269
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,280
This is what she should
text that loser.

270
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,749
(BOTH LAUGH)

271
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:22,916
Good one.

272
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,785
Adult language,
graphic violence,

273
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,154
but it gets
the message across.

274
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,488
You're dumped, son!

275
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,622
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah.

276
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,625
You're dumped, son.

277
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,362
Okay, now delete that
before she gets back here
and sees it.

278
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,064
You think?
I'm not an idiot.

279
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,431
(CHUCKLES)

280
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,067
Oh, my God,
I accidentally
hit 'send.'

281
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,235
(GASPS)
I am an idiot!

282
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,773
Wait. You sent it?
It was an accident!
I have fat thumbs!

283
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,574
It's where
I lose weight last.

284
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,309
What do I do?

285
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,379
Well, delete it!
At least it won't
be in her sent texts!

286
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,646
Let me!

287
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,315
My thumbs are like
babies' pinkies.

288
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,517
Oh, God,
this is a disaster.

289
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,086
We are so screwed.

290
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,789
Okay, Al, listen to me.

291
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,556
I love you...

292
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:07,094
But I'm gonna have
to distance myself
from this whole mess.

293
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,862
Let me know
how it goes.

294
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,966
Oh! Thank God
you're done.

295
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:15,535
Oh, no, Mr. Morton's
just taking a bathroom break.

296
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:16,937
This is intermission.

297
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,407
Okay, Julie. Enough.

298
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,109
Have you seen
the waiting room?

299
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,046
It looks like
The Walk-in Dead.

300
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,282
I'm just
being thorough,

301
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,583
and do you
want to know why?

302
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,285
Is it a quick story?

303
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:38,826
There was one time
when I wasn't thorough,

304
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,260
but now I am.

305
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:42,762
It was a quick story.

306
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,698
And now,
if you'll excuse me,

307
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,634
I'm going to finish
Mr. Morton's mole check.

308
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,569
He's here for the flu!

309
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:50,904
Is he?

310
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,405
ALL: Yes!

311
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,878
(IN GRAVELLY VOICE)
Hey, Dr. Oz.
Nice to meet you.

312
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,212
Big fan.

313
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,349
You really think
just by putting
a ball cap on,

314
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,517
I'm not gonna
recognize you,
Dr. Park?

315
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:07,754
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Damn it.
This thing cost $27.

316
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:11,091
Look, I know we got
off on the wrong foot,
but I need your help.

317
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,492
My family's seats
got messed up,

318
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:14,494
and you'd be doing me
a huge solid

319
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:15,728
if you'd swap with me.

320
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,364
I mean seats,
not wives...

321
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,666
Although I have a feeling
Allison would be down for it.

322
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,302
And I assume
your wife's a real
smoke show.

323
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:23,370
(CHUCKLES)

324
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,305
Sorry, but I'm not
switching seats.

325
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,640
But if you did,
you wouldn't have
to be in the middle.

326
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,376
I prefer
the middle seat.

327
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,878
Really?

328
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,812
You're a big shot
TV personality,

329
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,615
over six feet tall,
and you prefer the middle?

330
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,284
It makes me feel safe.

331
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,619
Oh, good for you.

332
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,993
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Hello, Dr. Oz.
Nice to meet you.

333
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,160
Big fan...
Nope.

334
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:48,361
Bollocks!

335
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,470
All right,
now I'm going to do
a series of coughs.

336
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:00,140
You tell me
when I get to one that
sounds like yours.

337
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,775
(SHORT COUGH)

338
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,912
(AIRY COUGH)

339
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:07,814
(COUGHS REPEATEDLY)

340
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,682
(COUGHS REPEATEDLY)

341
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:12,152
Hey! Who's the
doctor here?

342
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,922
Now I got
to start all over.

343
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,391
(SHORT COUGH)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

344
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,792
Doctor, a patient
just fainted

345
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,261
in the waiting room.
We need you.

346
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,762
What happened?

347
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,131
She came in
with flu symptoms,

348
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,333
and she's been waiting
for three hours.

349
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,568
She's dehydrated.
Get her some orange juice.

350
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:31,004
Pulp or no pulp?
Either way, it's $7.

351
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,476
Let's get these
people some help.

352
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,745
Okay, I'm gonna see
all of you guys

353
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,014
and get you home
just as soon as I can.

354
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,916
Now, anyone
with a fever,
over here.

355
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,784
Clark's gonna
take your vitals.

356
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,786
Anyone with no
fever, over here.

357
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:49,222
I will get to you
as soon as possible.

358
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,524
And if you're
a drug seeker looking
to score some Vicodin,

359
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:54,061
it's not gonna happen.

360
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,566
Whoa, slow down,
Dr. Dobbs.

361
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:00,968
I've got Juan-Julio
in the garage

362
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,735
making bacon-wrapped
hot dogs.

363
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,143
(CELLPHONE DINGS)

364
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,580
Trevor?

365
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,083
No.

366
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,418
Listen, about that.
There's something
I should tell you.

367
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,486
(CELLPHONE DINGS)

368
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:20,920
Hah! Look!

369
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:23,490
"Mols, you mean
so much to me.

370
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,292
"Need to see you."

371
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,294
Snowman,
sunglasses, wink.

372
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,595
Aw!

373
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,065
See, mom?
He is into me.

374
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,533
Yay.

375
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,803
(CELLPHONE DINGS)

376
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,638
Wow, he's so sweet,

377
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:41,174
texting me
all this nice stuff
out of the blue.

378
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,375
Truthfully, I was
starting to think

379
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,477
you and dad were
right about him.

380
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:45,945
(CELLPHONE DINGS)

381
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,314
(GIGGLES)

382
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,948
(GIGGLES)

383
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:54,954
Okay, plenty
of rest and fluids.

384
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,290
And remember,
gas stations,

385
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,591
good for getting gas,

386
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,527
not great for
getting flu shots.

387
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,164
Okay, let's
keep it moving.
Who's next?

388
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:06,133
Nobody.
You saw them all.

389
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,935
Wow. That's incredible.

390
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:12,339
I can't believe
we cleared out that
waiting room.

391
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,008
Turns out I can be
thorough and fast.

392
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,376
Girl, boom.

393
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:17,977
(CHUCKLES)

394
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:21,948
Guys, I want you to have
these bacon-wrapped hot dogs

395
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:24,484
as a thank-you
for all your hard work.

396
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:25,952
Oh, but, Mr. Pat,

397
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,620
you said if your employees
ate these hot dogs,

398
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:28,988
it could be
a tax write-off.

399
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,894
You specifically added
that it was not a thank-you

400
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,663
for all their hard work.

401
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,537
You know,
Juan-Julio,

402
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,506
I'd fire you if you
hadn't found...

403
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,176
What you found
in my trunk.

404
00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:58,685
You know, Julie,
you've been
going nonstop.

405
00:16:58,751 --> 00:16:59,852
Why don't you
take a break?

406
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,423
Ugh. That's a plan.
I'm exhausted.

407
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:04,857
Thank you, guys.

408
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,193
I never could have
gotten through today

409
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:07,660
without your help
and support.

410
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,829
Nope. It was all you.

411
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,466
(CHUCKLES)

412
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,568
Oh.

413
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,471
You got my 20 bucks?

414
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:21,741
Yes, we do, Thelma.

415
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,776
And let me tell you,
that was some of the best

416
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:26,913
dramatic fainting
I have ever seen.
(CHUCKLES)

417
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,282
And that includes
when my grandmother
met Justin Bieber.

418
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,053
(CELLPHONE DINGS)

419
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,422
Again?

420
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,391
"Call me,
call me, call me."

421
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,561
Mom, why do you think
he's so into me
all of a sudden?

422
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,530
(CHUCKLING)
I... I don't know.

423
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:50,670
I got to say,
it's feeling a little
needy and desperate.

424
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,572
I know exactly
what you mean, Mol.

425
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,907
You know, one of the things
we liked about old Trev

426
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,243
was how confident he was,

427
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,511
with the no texting
and the flip-flops,

428
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,448
but this...
This is very unattractive.

429
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:02,715
I mean, myself,

430
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,551
I prefer a man who's
cool and confident,

431
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:05,685
like your father.

432
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,387
Please!

433
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,057
Do you think I should
break up with him?

434
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,493
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, that's not something
I should get involved in.

435
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,062
I just want you
to be happy.
(CHUCKLES)

436
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,165
And if weak and desperate
makes you happy,

437
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,966
then you've hit
the mother lode.

438
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,035
(CELLPHONE DINGS)

439
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,904
20 heart emojis?

440
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,207
Ew.

441
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,109
That's it.
We're done.

442
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,246
"You're dumped, son."
(CHUCKLES)

443
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:39,819
Come on.
There's got to be
something you can do.

444
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,021
Here. I'll give
you this hat.

445
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:44,824
Ooh. An 'aloha' hat.

446
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,694
Those are hard to come by
here in the aloha state.

447
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,400
Let me check
one more thing.

448
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,501
(KEYS CLACKING)

449
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,475
Are you just
typing randomly?

450
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,411
Yeah. I am.

451
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,681
Excuse me, Dr. Park.

452
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,417
I've been thinking
about the feedback
you gave me,

453
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,751
and you're right.

454
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,353
I think I should be
doing some more
hard-hitting stuff.

455
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:16,556
Attaboy, Ozzie.
That wasn't so hard,
was it?

456
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:18,858
No.

457
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,059
Anyway, my phone is dead,
and I'm wondering

458
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,994
if you have the
charger for the new 8.

459
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:25,332
Well, well, well. Hmm.

460
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,334
Well, well, well, well.

461
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,001
Can I use the
charger or not?

462
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:32,138
If there was only something
I needed that you have.

463
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,541
Fine. I'll switch
seats with you.

464
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:35,642
And?

465
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,144
I'll pay for
your dumb hat.

466
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,413
That's how we do.

467
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:44,784
Come on.

468
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,753
Daddy needs
a new pair of shoes.

469
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,621
I actually do.

470
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,156
The Velcro is shot
on these things.

471
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:57,364
Guess who
just talked Dr. Oz
into swapping.

472
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,066
Ah. Well,
he is handsome.

473
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,268
Seats, Allison. Seats.

474
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,936
Oh, cool, cool, cool.

475
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,239
(OVER PA)
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for your patience.

476
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,107
Flight 358 with
service to Los Angeles

477
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,509
will now
begin boarding.

478
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,143
Yes!
Yes!

479
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:12,979
Dave, let's go!

480
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,447
Cash out!
Okay!

481
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,048
My dad's calling me.

482
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,485
So, as the
considerate man
says to the toilet,

483
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,320
I leave you
with a flush.

484
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,091
Pleasure doing business
with you, fellas.

485
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,959
Good luck back
at Arizona State.

486
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,995
Got to say,
I thought a party school

487
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,830
would have had
better poker players.

488
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,910
Hey, have fun
in 32-A.

489
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,912
I'll see you
on my way back
to the bathroom

490
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,348
because your seat is
'a-bathroom' adjacent.

491
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:49,682
(LAUGHS)

492
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:51,651
Uh, excuse me.

493
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:52,985
Aren't we limited
to two carry-ons?

494
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,387
'Cause he's got
like nine.

495
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,357
Thank you, Dr. Oz.

496
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,925
You're gonna have
to check them.

497
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,460
Oh, and I'll need
a credit card

498
00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:02,529
for the numerous
baggage fees.

499
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:06,132
That's how we do.

500
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:07,400
(SCANNER BEEPS)

501
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,935
While you're checking
all that baggage,

502
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,202
check your underwear.

503
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:15,342
Here you go, dad.
For the baggage fees.

504
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,778
And this is for you.

505
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,246
Get yourself
something nice.

506
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,181
(SCANNER BEEPS)