1 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,839 Morning, thugs. 2 00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:07,075 Morning, gangster. 3 00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,709 Morning, player. 4 00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,411 Aww, I love what we have. 5 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:12,580 Uh-huh. 6 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,316 Uh-huh. Patient. 7 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:18,119 No, I don't think the only reason your mother had you 8 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,388 was so that she could be a bitch to you. 9 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:24,192 Ah, the holidays, stockings full of gifts, 10 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,494 your mom's voicemail full of messages 11 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,297 from sobbing lunatics who can't handle their business. 12 00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,233 Christmas or not, 13 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,467 you just have to tell your mother 14 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,002 she has to respect you. 15 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,704 Hey. Leggings are not pants. 16 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,972 Mom, you have to respect me. 17 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,941 Don't even. 18 00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:42,810 Look, I know the holidays can be lonely, 19 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,145 but don't lose sight of the fact 20 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:47,047 that you matter to a lot of people, Jill. 21 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:48,416 Ellen. I meant Ellen. 22 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,519 She hung up on me. 23 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,621 What a whiner. 24 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,756 I'm so sorry. I thought you hung up. 25 00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,594 Come here. What can hero husband do to make it better? 26 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,030 Fast-forward me to our trip to Hawaii. 27 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,932 (GASPS) Our couple's massage. 28 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,667 And our couple's bed. 29 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:08,702 It's just a bed, honey. 30 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,504 It's a bed with a partially obstructed view 31 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,839 of the hotel parking lot 32 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,175 because that's how daddy rolls. (CHUCKLES) 33 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,477 Mom, I'm gonna need a new bathing suit for Hawaii. 34 00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:18,612 Stuff got real this year. 35 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,015 I need one, too. 36 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,818 I've been tightening up the front porch. 37 00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:27,521 Hold up, are you guys under the impression 38 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,490 that you're coming to Hawaii with us? 39 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:31,225 Yeah. I mean, aren't we? 40 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,826 You said you were gonna tell them. 41 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:33,994 No! Remember? 42 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,363 You said you didn't want me to tell them 43 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,097 because you thought I'd enjoy it too much. 44 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,532 No. I said, "Tell them. 45 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,734 "Just don't sound like you're enjoying it too much." 46 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,103 (LAUGHING) Okay, I'm not that good an actor. 47 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,273 Wait. What's happening here? 48 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,040 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, you guys, 49 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,211 but your dad and I really need a vacation alone together. 50 00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:52,413 Yeah. We haven't had time away, just the two of us, 51 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,582 since your mother had her emergency appendectomy. 52 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,584 (CHUCKLES) God, that was a great few days. 53 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,452 It was. 54 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,821 Okay, so, you would literally rather have surgery 55 00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,223 than vacation with your own children? 56 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,291 Did she stutter? 57 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,994 All right, all right, all right. 58 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:10,097 It was a hard decision, honey, and we're really gonna miss you guys. 59 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,432 This is so not fair! 60 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:12,833 I want to learn how to surf! 61 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,369 And I want to see how resentful the locals are. 62 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,271 I hear it's breathtaking! 63 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,442 Look, I'm sorry, guys. 64 00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,143 You know, I'm really torn up about this. (LAUGHS) 65 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,078 Ken! 66 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,348 See? I told you I'm not that good an actor. 67 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:29,049 Really? 68 00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:31,118 Gangster gonna play me like that? 69 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,866 Hey, Clark, my Jewish friend. 70 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,902 I am neither of those things, and don't touch me. 71 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:53,974 Hey, where would a man of my ilk get one of those beanie things? 72 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,577 They're called yarmulkes, and why do you need one? 73 00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:59,913 Oh, well, Christmas eve, I'm going to this big singles party, the Matzo Ball. 74 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,148 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 75 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:03,451 Hoping to put my noodle in some kugel 76 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,486 (CHUCKLING) If you know what I mean. 77 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:08,622 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, I'm... I'm talking about hosin' one of the chosen. 78 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,691 (LAUGHING) Get it? 79 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,360 Oh, come on. 80 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,028 Your people are famous for your sense of humor. 81 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,465 The gay, Lutheran vegans? 82 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,766 (LAUGHING) Yeah, that's the stuff! 83 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,802 Um, Pat. Huh? 84 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:22,970 I need to talk to you. 85 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,572 I have to request a day off. 86 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,775 Oh, sorry. That's not my jurisdiction, but would you like a raise? 87 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:28,876 Sure. 88 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,811 No. (CHUCKLES) 89 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,480 See? I'm happy to help you with that. 90 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:36,850 Listen, don't worry about it. Just talk to Damona. 91 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,052 Damona decides who gets vacation days? 92 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,255 Nah. It's this hard-ass, Phil Stockton. 93 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,856 He's the master scheduler. 94 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,426 He manages the schedules for the entire medical staff. 95 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,627 Then maybe I'll just talk to him. 96 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:47,795 Doesn't work that way. 97 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,129 Yeah. Nobody in our department 98 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,331 talks to him except for Damona. 99 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,366 She is our liaison. 100 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,402 Well, that seems inefficient... 101 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,437 And unnecessarily French. 102 00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,707 You haven't met Phil. 103 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,241 You know Dr. Ken's temper? 104 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,410 Picture that on a man. 105 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,680 That is scary. 106 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,149 One time, Dr. Miller broke protocol 107 00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,552 and asked Phil for the day off for his kid's birthday. 108 00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:13,454 Not only did he not get the day, 109 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:16,123 but he ended up having to work on Thanksgiving. 110 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,559 Then, two weeks later, his car blew up. 111 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:23,764 Fuel-line issue, unrelated, but still! 112 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,600 All right. I won't talk to him. 113 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,236 Damona, would you please ask Phil 114 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,104 if I could have Valentine's Day off? 115 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,540 I thought you and Topher broke up. 116 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,841 Oh, no, we did. 117 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,209 But I figure I'll either be back together with him 118 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,546 or eating myself to death in his shrubs. 119 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,817 Regardless, I'm gonna need the day. 120 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:46,520 I'll talk to Phil. It shouldn't be a problem since you got it in early. 121 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,656 Yeah, gots to keep it timely, people. 122 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,824 That's why I asked for my days off months ago. 123 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:51,992 Wait. Which days? 124 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:55,062 You know, for my New Year's trip to Hawaii. 125 00:04:55,128 --> 00:05:00,200 Where? Oh, sweet, contiguous, landlocked Julie. 126 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,536 That's the native pronunciation of "Hawaii," 127 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,638 The island paradise where my wife and I 128 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,440 will be enjoying our most relaxed time 129 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,008 since her appendectomy. 130 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,242 And hopefully this time, 131 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,380 she won't be stingy with the lovin', you know? 132 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:15,616 (MOCKINGLY) "Oh, Ken, watch the stitches! 133 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:18,619 "There's another patient in the room!" 134 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,655 Hold up. Dr. Ken, you didn't tell me to ask Phil for New Year's off. 135 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,525 (LAUGHS) Okay, Damona, let's leave the comedy 136 00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,093 to the guy who was awarded the mug 137 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,895 that said "world's funniest doctor." 138 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,398 Awarded? You made that yourself at Color Me Mine. 139 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,468 I'm serious, little man. 140 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:35,903 You never put in a request. 141 00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,706 Yes, I did. I filled it out, I stuck it in my lab-coat pocket, 142 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,974 and I gave it to you. You obviously lost it. 143 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,175 If I may? 144 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,081 And not to pile on, but you did not fill that out, either. 145 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,219 Come on. Allison already booked the flights to Hawaii. 146 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:55,022 I thought it was pronounced Hawaii. 147 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,624 I think that's just when you're going. 148 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,428 Come on, Damona, please. I need those days. 149 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,095 Hey, hey, don't put that on me. 150 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,465 It's not my responsibility to check your damn pocket. 151 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,969 It is actually mine. I am very sorry, sir. Okay. 152 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:12,740 Hey. Trouble in not-paradise? 153 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,976 So, what's the return policy on that youth-sized snorkel set 154 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,277 you were sure you'd grow into? 155 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,355 Dave, tighten up those arms. 156 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:29,457 That is your food. Protect it! 157 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,026 What's going on here? 158 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,563 Oh, just preparing Dave for foster care, you know, 159 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:39,366 because you and Dad are abandoning us. 160 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,835 Okay, now there's a big kid trying to take your corn bread. 161 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,504 Quick, fork in the eye! 162 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,305 Stay away, Tracy! 163 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:46,840 (GROWLS) 164 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,310 Nice try. You're still not coming. 165 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,279 Fine. I didn't want to resort to this. 166 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,515 Dave, plan B. 167 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,623 Really? We're supposed to take you guys to Hawaii 168 00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,124 because Dave's making a sad face? 169 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,095 Okay, Dave, cut it out. 170 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,299 Oh, baby, are you okay? 171 00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,169 Oh, nope. Nope. 172 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,437 Not falling for it. 173 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,177 We'll get there. 174 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,079 Just keep working that money-maker. 175 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,215 (SNARLS) 176 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,750 Not the fork, the face. 177 00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,660 Hey, bae. 178 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,795 Guess what I just booked for Hawaii! (DOOR CLOSES) 179 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,998 A private boat that takes us to swim with the dolphins. 180 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,100 Then it docks on a secluded beach, 181 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:50,170 where the two of us are served a five-star meal at sunset. 182 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:51,872 They force you to eat at sunset? 183 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,841 I mean, sounds pretty rigid. 184 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,844 Really? 'Cause, to me, it sounds like the best day of our lives. 185 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,378 The excursion is literally called 186 00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,147 "the best day of your life." 187 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,951 Al, Hawaii's great and all, but I was thinking, 188 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,318 maybe we should stay home. 189 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,855 You know, I think we're gonna miss the kids. 190 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,790 You son of a bitch. You didn't get the days off. 191 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,592 No! No! No. 192 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,962 I'm simply opening my heart 193 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,164 about how much I'm gonna miss our children. 194 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,799 I swear to God. 195 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,434 I planned this whole trip, and you had one thing to do! 196 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,636 Which I did! 197 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,037 I mean... Wow. 198 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,039 (CHUCKLING) Oh, wow. Okay. 199 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,775 Uh, this hurts, Allison. 200 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,109 This really hurts. 201 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:34,281 Ken, I really need this trip. 202 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,416 Please tell me you got the days off. 203 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,119 (SIGHS) 204 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:46,226 I got the days off. 205 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,562 Oh, thank God! 206 00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,897 (LAUGHS) 207 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:52,733 I would've been so mad. 208 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,101 (LAUGHING) I know! 209 00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,237 I mean, I only had one thing to do! 210 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,839 Come on! (LAUGHS) 211 00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,808 Oh, my God, this is gonna be so amazing! 212 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,776 Okay, so, are you in for the dolphin thing? 213 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:03,977 Oh, I'm in. (LAUGHS) 214 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,379 I'm in so deep. 215 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,449 Confirm. Confirm. 216 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,418 Non-refundable. Confirm. 217 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,588 Okay, do you want the creme brulee or the cherries jubilee? 218 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:15,923 Dealer's choice. 219 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,357 All right. Oh, my God. 220 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:18,659 Champagne, lobster breakfast. 221 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:19,860 Should we splurge? 222 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,462 Ooh-hoo! Ah! Yes! 223 00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,832 Yes! Come on. Come on. 224 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,667 Yolo. Yolo! 225 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,501 (LAUGHS) (WHIMPERS) 226 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,676 I'm officially screwed. 227 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,978 At some point during our romantic trip to Hawaii, 228 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,848 Allison's gonna notice I'm not there. 229 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,150 I'm guessing that'll be the highlight of her trip. 230 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,254 What is this, casual Friday? 231 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,457 No. It's "the attire of places Ken's not going" Friday. 232 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,761 Next week, I'm dressing as heaven. 233 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,230 (SIGHS) I talked to Phil. 234 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,566 What did he say? It's still a big, fat no. 235 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,134 (SIGHS) But... But I have an idea. 236 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,370 Here's a list of all the doctors that have New Year's off. 237 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,206 Just go and see if any of them are interested in swapping. 238 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,507 Swapping? 239 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,677 Uh, how do I know what their wives look like? 240 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:15,148 Swapping vacation days, not wives, you dumb bucket. 241 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,217 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. 242 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,787 You know, Allison's a cool chick and all, and it has come up, 243 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,089 but that was mostly me driving it, you know? 244 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,324 I'm gonna go take care of this. 245 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,159 Ah! Morgan's wife's not bad. 246 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,231 Let me get this straight. 247 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,833 You raised this girl, 248 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,234 she's a grown woman, 249 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:37,771 and she can't even walk down an aisle by herself? 250 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,572 You can go hike a glacier anytime. 251 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,009 Trust me. They're gonna be around forever. 252 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,144 All I'm saying is, if you schedule it, 253 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,313 you could drop that thing before the New Year. 254 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,681 That's a huge tax write-off. 255 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,219 Your mom's being difficult. 256 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,555 (SIGHS) Congratulations. 257 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,396 Oh, hey, Allison. What are you doing here? 258 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,198 I came to surprise Ken with lunch. 259 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:08,101 I brought Hawaiian barbecue, you know, 'cause of our trip. 260 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,402 So, you're going? 261 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,504 Yeah. Wait, what are you talking about? 262 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:15,408 Oh. I just thought that since Ken forgot to ask for the... 263 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,544 Stop talking, Julie. I can't. I'm too nervous. 264 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,079 Well, then change the subject. 265 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,015 Oh, there he is! 266 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,051 (SINGSONG VOICE) Guess who's here, Dr. Ken. 267 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,886 Hey, bae. You lied to me. 268 00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:29,556 What? You never asked for the days off. I knew it. 269 00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:30,891 Wait. Wait. Just let me explain! 270 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,829 Wow, I did not expect you to stop. I got nothing. 271 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:44,171 (SINGSONG VOICE) But you still have BBQ. 272 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,418 You know what? I'm not gonna take this. 273 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,587 I'm gonna go dance with the devil. 274 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:01,822 What does that mean? 275 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,991 Oh, that's just Dr. Ken's dramatic way of saying 276 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,026 he's gonna fix things with Allison. 277 00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,527 No. Allison's not the devil. 278 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,662 Phil is. I'm gonna go talk to him. 279 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,398 I did not get that at all. 280 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,969 Just look in the directory and find his office, please. 281 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:18,371 Uh, he is on the 14th floor, 282 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,273 but I think that this is a terrible idea. 283 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,509 I mean, you're talking about the man who made Dr. O'Brien 284 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,477 work the day after his own funeral. 285 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:30,984 Okay, that may have been an urban legend, but still... 286 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,653 Look, I refuse to live in fear of this guy. 287 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,388 I'm gonna go demand my days, 288 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,424 and I'm not gonna take "no" for an answer. 289 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,759 I'm not even gonna take "maybe" for an answer. 290 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:42,595 Other answers I won't accept include "I'll think about it," 291 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:43,931 or "I'll get back to you." 292 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,165 So, just to recap, 293 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,835 I'm looking for "yes," "sure," or "definitely." 294 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:51,338 Or, if need be, I'll even take a "10-4, good buddy." 295 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:56,643 Good luck, pal. 296 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,111 I will not be rooting for you. 297 00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:08,655 Too much? 298 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,758 Yeah, it's too much. 299 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,565 Hey, anybody seen Dr. Ken? His 12:00 canceled. 300 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,600 He went upstairs to talk to Phil. 301 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:21,835 Phil Stockton? 302 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,803 He went to talk to Phil Stockton? 303 00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:27,140 I know. I tried to warn him, but he seemed very determined. 304 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,876 There's like five or six things 305 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,378 that he is not gonna take for an answer. 306 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,613 Oh, God, I knew it! I knew it! 307 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,916 Oh, God! You knew what? You knew what? 308 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,888 Phil Stockton isn't the master scheduler, okay? 309 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,555 What? Who is? 310 00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:43,623 I am. 311 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,360 Le twist! 312 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:53,200 But wait. If you're the master scheduler, then who's Phil Stockton? 313 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,634 I picked him out of the directory. 314 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,304 He's just some random guy from environmental services 315 00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,173 who's about to be all kinds of confused. 316 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,409 Phil Stockton? Yes? 317 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:06,346 I'm Dr. Ken Park, and I'm taking the week of New Year's off. 318 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,418 Okay. 319 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,953 Really? You're... You're okay with that? 320 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,121 Sure. 321 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,323 Oh, my God. (CHUCKLES) 322 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:18,558 (SNIFFLES) 323 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,327 I'm gonna... 324 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,095 You have no idea what you've done for me. 325 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,831 Not a clue. (CHUCKLES) 326 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,167 See, I lied to my wife, but then she found out, 327 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,502 and Damona said you would never... You know what? 328 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,238 I'm gonna do something for you. 329 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,705 Mm-hmm. Here. 330 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,908 This is like a couple hundred bucks. 331 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:38,245 And this is my Saddle Burger giddyup card. 332 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,148 Seven barn burgers away from a free barn burger. 333 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,449 No, I can't take your money. 334 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,118 Oh, no, I insist. You take it 'cause you are a saint. 335 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,921 What are you doing? 336 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,156 (CLEARS THROAT) 337 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,823 Oh. We don't have to do this. 338 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:51,959 I love you, man. 339 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,927 Thanks. 340 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,738 Well, I just had an interesting conversation with Phil, 341 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,274 the master scheduler. 342 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,142 Uh, um, what did... What did he say? 343 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,543 He said... (CELL PHONE RINGING) 344 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,844 Whoa. Hang on. 345 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,215 Hey, Al, I got the days! 346 00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,516 Dr. Ken! No! No! 347 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,385 No, I'm serious. I talked to the master scheduler. 348 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,652 Dr. Ken, I... Ah, ah, ah, ah! 349 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,188 (GROANS) Oh, I know. 350 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,424 I am so sorry about the lying and the up and back, 351 00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:27,527 but you can relax now 'cause we're going to Hawaii! 352 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,762 (LAUGHS) I know! I feel the same way! 353 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,465 And you know what, Al? Screw it. Let's bring the kids. 354 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:33,900 I don't even... Wait. Wait. 355 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,368 Oh, wait. Another call. 356 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,004 Chello. 357 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,605 Hang up the damn phone! 358 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,110 I'm the master scheduler. You don't have the days! 359 00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,112 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 360 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,613 (STAMMERING) Oh, honey, I got to go. 361 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:49,016 It's an emergency. It's a code maroon 5. 362 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,420 What the hell is going on? 363 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,488 You're the master scheduler? 364 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,390 Why would you even mess with me like that? 365 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,659 Okay, look, four years ago, when they made me office manager, 366 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,695 they dumped the scheduling job on me, and... 367 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,998 I liked it 'cause I was helping people. 368 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,600 You like helping people? 369 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,970 I like helping people. 370 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,240 I just don't like people to know I like helping people 371 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,974 'cause then people want you to help them. 372 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,612 So I made up an alter ego. 373 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:23,150 Like Bruce Wayne has Batman. 374 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:26,819 So, in this scenario, she's a rich dude with a leather fetish? 375 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,357 Because that's intriguing. 376 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:38,298 Hey, did I not give him the long weekend for his dad's birthday? 377 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:40,533 And you're gonna be kissing or stalking your boyfriend 378 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,435 on Valentine's Day 'cause of me. 379 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,638 Thanks, either way. 380 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,174 And what about when you needed those three days 381 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,008 to mourn Joan Rivers? 382 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:52,779 Three days? Hey, she paved the way for so many comediennes! 383 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,582 I mean, without her, there's no Rudner, there's no Poundstone. 384 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,218 You know what? I'm sorry. Please go on. 385 00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:01,754 It doesn't even matter because every once in a while, 386 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:06,393 I can't help somebody I really want to help, and it sucks. 387 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,927 Look, Damona, it's not your fault. 388 00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:11,231 I mean, am I gonna blame you publicly for it? Absolutely. 389 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,302 My wife's gonna hate me, my kids are gonna hate me. 390 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,036 I mean, the only one who doesn't hate me 391 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,905 is some boob in environmental services 392 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:22,209 who I just gave 200 bucks to, and my giddyup card! 393 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,845 Environmental services! That's it! 394 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:27,547 Wait for me. 395 00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,584 Not a lot of patients got seen today. 396 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,021 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 397 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:38,225 Hey, Phil. Damona Watkins, fifth-floor office manager. 398 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,128 Ken Park. We hugged recently, and there may have been a kiss. 399 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,831 Oh, I'm certain there was. 400 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:49,001 You took my money, my giddyup card, and my heart. 401 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,305 You done? Yep. 402 00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,309 So, Phil, your department's closing the building 403 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,378 for four days in March to fumigate. Am I right? 404 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:01,281 Oh, yeah. We call it the "pestic-ides of March." 405 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,584 (CHUCKLES) We like to have fun up here. 406 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,554 Well, look, my friend is in a bind. 407 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:08,921 I really want to help him. 408 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,824 So, why don't you move it to New Year's week? 409 00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:14,327 Oof. That's a lot of departments to coordinate. 410 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,429 Well, you best get to coordinatin', son! 411 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:17,930 My bad. You got this. 412 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:21,568 I'm sorry. I don't think I can swing it. 413 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,170 Let me ask you a question. 414 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,871 Doesn't Jeff Scarborough schedule your vacation days? 415 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,307 That's right. Well, I just talked to my good friend Jeff, 416 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:30,343 and he told me you like to take a week off in July 417 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,712 to go fishing with your family. 418 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,782 Man, I'd sure hate to see that go away. 419 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,484 Yeah, boy! 420 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,854 You mean his trip, not his family, right? 421 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:45,925 I, uh... I guess I could move some things around. 422 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,428 Yeah. You do that, Phil, or say goodbye to your family. 423 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:49,496 What? 424 00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,432 Could... Could you just go... 425 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,234 Okay. It wasn't clear. No, I didn't... I didn't know... 426 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:55,902 I mean, I didn't know if it was the trip or his family... 427 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,570 Phil. It was the trip, right? 428 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,771 (DOOR CLOSES) 429 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,807 Thank you so much. You saved my ass. 430 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,742 Oh, it's all good. (SIGHS) 431 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,977 So, how do you know Jeff Scarborough? I don't. 432 00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:08,215 Aw, you stone-cold! 433 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:09,382 (LAUGHS) 434 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,554 How did it go? 435 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,123 Mmm... Trip's back on. 436 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:20,460 Aah! And Christmas came early to Welltopia that year. 437 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,298 Poi, anyone? Ken, come on. 438 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,234 This might be as close as you get. 439 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,069 Relax, Pat. I'm going to Hawaii after all. 440 00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,438 Damn it! 441 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,840 I got three gallons of prank poi in my office 442 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,209 and the entire first season of Magnum, P.I. 443 00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,646 I was gonna slip it into your car. 444 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,415 Well, the poi, that is, not the Magnum, P.I. 445 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,484 No, the Magnum, P.I. 446 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:47,153 I was gonna broadcast on the side of your house. 447 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,826 Okay, look, we're the only ones who know Damona's secret, 448 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,161 and we're gonna keep that way, 449 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,996 I mean, 'cause she's always taken care of us, 450 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,332 and we're gonna take care of her. 451 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,168 Absolutely. She's Batman. 452 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,237 Damn straight I'm Batman. 453 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:07,039 I guess that makes me the Joker, huh? 454 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:08,341 Huh? The... 455 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:21,288 Oh, my God, this was so worth it. 456 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:24,190 Ahh, I know. (GIGGLES) 457 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,558 Sorry. I'm a little ticklish. 458 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,262 I really needed this. 459 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,498 Gregory, your fingers are magic. 460 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,834 Dave, can you please be quiet? 461 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,204 Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin our couple's massage. 462 00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:42,475 It's four people. It is not a couple's massage. 463 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:47,046 I know, but Gregory's hands are making me stupid. 464 00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,616 Ahh.