1
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:06,840
Hey, what you
filming there, D-Rex?

2
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:08,376
I have to do
a video project

3
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,411
on our family's
Thanksgiving traditions.

4
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:11,612
So, what are they?

5
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,514
Thanksgiving's in two days.

6
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,383
Weren't you gonna
talk to him about
not procrastinating?

7
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:16,750
Yeah, yeah.
I'll get to it.

8
00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:21,289
Well, Dave,
this is the
first Thanksgiving

9
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,325
we're having at our house
with all your grandparents,

10
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,026
so everything's
gonna be new.

11
00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:27,828
It was supposed to be
about traditions.

12
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,263
That doesn't help me
at all.

13
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,532
Forget it. I'll just
deal with this tomorrow.

14
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:32,800
Hey, Dave.

15
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,135
When you put things off
till the last minute,

16
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:36,504
you get such
an adrenaline rush.

17
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,276
Okay, do you have
the list I gave you

18
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:43,644
to pick up the stuff
for the dinner?

19
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,413
Oh, yeah, yeah.

20
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,481
Got it right here.

21
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,484
Is that a blank piece
of paper because
you lost the list?

22
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,286
Nope, not blank,
I wrote some
scribbles on it

23
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,355
to make it look like words
from a distance.

24
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,191
MOLLY: Dave!

25
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,426
What happened?

26
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,361
I walked in
on Molly getting dressed.

27
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,862
(SIGHS)

28
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:04,165
Dave, when a girl...
I got this.

29
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,902
Dave, when a girl
is blossoming
into womanhood,

30
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,571
never look at her.

31
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,273
It's gross.

32
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:14,975
I didn't see her naked.

33
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,311
Then what's wrong?
Molly has a tattoo.

34
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:18,812
What?

35
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,882
And not
that anyone's asking me,
but, man, is it tacky.

36
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,891
It's the Japanese symbol
for "wisdom."

37
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:36,264
Molly, we always say
we want you to learn
by making your own mistakes.

38
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,066
But we don't mean it.
(SIGHS) Exactly.

39
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,535
It's just a hollow
parenting expression.

40
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,837
Like "we're not angry.
We're just disappointed."

41
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:47,275
Yeah,
we're always angry.

42
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:50,611
It's not a big deal.
A lot of my friends
have gotten tattoos.

43
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:53,414
Oh, really? Have a lot
of your friends jumped
off the Brooklyn Bridge?

44
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,517
No.

45
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:00,988
Good.

46
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:06,059
Look, I'm really sorry,
okay?

47
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,928
(SIGHS) Mol,
an apology is not enough.

48
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,764
There's a permission issue
here, and you
didn't have ours.

49
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,233
(SIGHS)

50
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,835
No screens for a month.
No laptop, no TV,
no phone.

51
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,271
So you're cutting me off
from my friends?

52
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,307
This month,
you have one friend.

53
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,108
His name is Dave Park,

54
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,644
which brings
his friend total
to one, as well.

55
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,048
A tattoo?
Are you kidding me?

56
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:30,117
That's
a gateway rebellion.

57
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,885
I mean, soon, she'll have
face piercings,

58
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,188
those things
that stretch out
your earlobes,

59
00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:36,657
ties to the underworld.

60
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:37,958
What underworld?

61
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,627
Oh, like she's gonna
tell us.

62
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,964
Why would she choose a tattoo
of a Japanese character?

63
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,599
(SCOFFS)

64
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,836
Wait. Is your issue
the tattoo or the fact
that it's Japanese?

65
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,338
Both.

66
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,373
But I think we know
who to blame
for the Japanese part.

67
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,609
What?
Oh, come, now.

68
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,246
You've always pushed
your Japanese agenda

69
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,248
onto the kids, huh?

70
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,849
Trying to "Japanify" them

71
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,718
with your field trips to
Little Tokyo and your edamame.

72
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:05,919
You even rented Godzilla.

73
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,120
You told me to!

74
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,722
You said you wanted
to see San Francisco

75
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,824
"get what it deserves."

76
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,627
Well, what about
those Hello Kitty
folders, huh?

77
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,296
Dave likes Hello Kitty.

78
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:16,764
I'm not gonna apologize

79
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,199
that our kids identify
with their
Japanese background.

80
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,769
Maybe you've forgotten,
but our kids
are half-Korean, too.

81
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,104
And you could have taught them
about their Korean heritage,

82
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:25,973
but it wasn't
important to you.

83
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,174
You're a lapsed Korean.

84
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,742
(GASPS)

85
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,946
Lapsed Korean?

86
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,815
Let's face it. Culturally,
you have more in common

87
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,551
with the white teenage girls
at the mall.

88
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,152
Hey, I shop at Forever 21

89
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,155
because their men's
extra-small fits me perfectly.

90
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,857
Okay.

91
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,559
Forgot my edamame.

92
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,029
Bye, Dave.

93
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,264
(SPEAKING KOREAN)

94
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,937
(SPEAKING KOREAN)

95
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,507
Uh, yeah.
That's Korean
for "goodbye."

96
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,742
Actually,
that's Korean for "hello."

97
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,677
Oh, good for you.
Congratulations.

98
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,779
Great. Great.
Whoo-hoo!

99
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,485
Then she had the nerve
to tell me
I'm a lapsed Korean.

100
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:12,820
Can you believe that?

101
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,889
Hell yeah. I have a VCR
that's more Korean than you.

102
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,359
Clark,
you've known me forever.

103
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,528
How Korean
would you say I am?

104
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,997
Well, you know,
I'm post-racial
and colorblind

105
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,067
and also confused
by the question.

106
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:30,070
But if you whisper
to me the answer
you are looking for,

107
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,139
you shall get it, sir.

108
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,874
I am super-Korean.

109
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,410
Yes, you are.

110
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:38,879
I am! Look, my parents
moved here from Korea.

111
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,648
My dad started
a Korean school,

112
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:41,949
where I learned
about my culture

113
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,717
and how
not to control my temper!

114
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,420
Ah. Small talk.

115
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:47,788
Uh, let's see.
Let's see.

116
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,958
Ooh! I saw Natalie Merchant
at a Panda Express
last night.

117
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,761
(CHUCKLES)
Your turn.

118
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:56,564
Oh, we were talking about
how Korean Dr. Ken is.

119
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,099
Whoa, whoa.
A little sensitivity.

120
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,834
Dr. Ken is Chinese.

121
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,871
I'm Korean!

122
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,674
That's the spirit.

123
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,777
Well, due to
unforeseen circumstances

124
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,111
with my boyfriend,
Topher...

125
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,713
Whoa, wait.
I thought that was over.

126
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,648
Oh, no.
We were on again.

127
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,016
But then
he broke up with me

128
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,151
because he said
I lacked self-confidence.

129
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:21,121
Like this is really
gonna help.
(CHUCKLES)

130
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,824
Anyway, I would love
to invite all of you

131
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,326
to my Thanksgiving day
orphans dinner.

132
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:29,397
I know it's really
last-minute, but I hope
that you can come.

133
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:33,467
It's gonna be
the party of the year!
(CRYING)

134
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:34,802
Oh, sorry.

135
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,137
Uh, we're having family over,
so I can't make it.

136
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:40,508
But I want you to know,
if that wasn't the case,

137
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:44,011
my mind would be racing
to come up
with any other excuse.

138
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:50,217
Pat? I know
you're also newly single.

139
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,985
Indeed I am.

140
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:56,089
And I'll be spending
my first solo turkey day
at the sportsmen's lodge.

141
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:59,560
Yeah, that place
is gonna be lousy
with drunken, needy women.

142
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:00,828
(CHUCKLES)

143
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,930
Let's just say there'll be
two kinds of stuffing.

144
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,500
That was a double entendre.
I'm not sure if it landed.

145
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,369
But the important thing is,
I'm hoping to have sex.

146
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,738
(CHUCKLES)

147
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:13,507
Guys?

148
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,209
Oh.
We'll be there.

149
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,445
Oh! Yay!

150
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,812
BOTH: Yay!

151
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,448
Hope no one's
allergic to fun!

152
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,582
BOTH: No.

153
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,184
Oh-ho.

154
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,453
"We'll be there?"

155
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,455
I felt bad.
We'll just stop by.
(SIGHS)

156
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,457
Okay, but I'm supposed
to be with my family.

157
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,992
This is the first Thanksgiving
since my grandma passed.

158
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,360
Oh. When did she die?

159
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,663
No. She's alive.
She just passed
on the invite,

160
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,798
so it actually might be fun
this year.

161
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,769
Okay, so just go after.
I have plans, too.

162
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,071
My friends and I have
this whole turkey
trot thing.

163
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,506
You're doing a run?

164
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:48,308
Oh, no, no, no.
It's a dance party
at a bar in west Hollywood.

165
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,310
Then there's an after-party
which goes until 2:00,

166
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,812
and then an
after-after party, which...

167
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:54,448
Okay, Clark. I get it.
It's fun to be gay.

168
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,183
Okay, remember
when you were a kid

169
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,651
and you were so excited
to go to Disneyland?

170
00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:00,187
It's like that for me
every day, but gay.

171
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,497
Oh, my God.

172
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:12,065
There's a Hells Angel
mixer in our living room!

173
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,101
Oh. It's just
our tattooed daughter.

174
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:16,970
What are you doing?

175
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,906
Since you and mom
took away all my screens,

176
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,474
I'm faxting with Tammy.

177
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,776
Faxting?
Texting
with Mom's fax machine.

178
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:23,877
(FAX MACHINE BEEPS)

179
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,916
(CHUCKLES)
Eh, Tammy's cray.

180
00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:33,253
L-O-L.

181
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,224
(BEEPING)

182
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,297
(SIGHS) Leave it to Molly
to find a loophole.

183
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,899
She's faxting.

184
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,801
Well, as long as
she's not fexting.

185
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,002
Is that sex faxing?

186
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,971
Yeah. Apparently,
it's a real problem
in Russia.

187
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,640
Oh.

188
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:53,941
What's all this?

189
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,109
Well, we're establishing
new traditions this year,

190
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,879
so I felt some of them
should be Korean.

191
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:01,314
So, you bought
4 pounds of bulgogi

192
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,216
and eight jars
of kimchi?

193
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,852
Hearing it out loud,
I know what you're thinking.

194
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,353
Needs more bulgogi.
I'll be right back.

195
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,921
Ken, Ken, Ken, Ken!

196
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,123
Where's all the stuff
I actually asked you to buy?

197
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,825
Oh, it all felt
too American.

198
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,894
Dave, kill the camera.

199
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:16,296
You're not putting me
in a position to succeed.

200
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,768
So, this is
some big-baby-ish reaction

201
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,770
to me claiming your heritage
isn't important to you?

202
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:26,607
Oh, no. I'm simply sharing
my culture with my family.

203
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,576
Why?
Does that bother you?

204
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,477
Yeah. It does.

205
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:33,413
Our kids are half-Japanese,
my parents are
also coming over,

206
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,215
and you're hijacking
Thanksgiving.

207
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:38,652
How you feel if I made
tempura and soba noodles?

208
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,922
Like someone
who actually supports
his spouse's heritage.

209
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,456
Really?

210
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,626
Good. Then that's
what I'm gonna do.
And...

211
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,896
We already have it
in the house, by the way,

212
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:52,566
since, unlike you,
I give a crap about
where I come from. (CHUCKLES)

213
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,401
And I'm not threatened
by that.

214
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:55,803
(CHUCKLES)

215
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,237
Wait. You're gonna help me
cook the bulgogi, right?

216
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,342
Fine!
I'll do it myself.

217
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,811
Hey. You know
how to cook bulgogi?

218
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,212
I don't even know
what that is.

219
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,731
I thought you said
"business casual."

220
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,866
Oh, I got khakis on
underneath.

221
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,768
Hold still, Dad.

222
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,136
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

223
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,304
Wait.
Is that a polaroid?

224
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:34,174
Yep. You are gonna blow up
on faxtagram.

225
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:40,047
Oh, my Shinto God.
Are you kidding me?

226
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,850
What? It's my
Thanksgiving hanbok, yo.

227
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,517
(DOORBELL RINGS)

228
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,255
ALL: Hey!

229
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,224
Why are you wearing
my wedding hanbok?

230
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,459
Wait. This is Dad's.

231
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,996
Oh, God.

232
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,866
You make
beautiful bride.
Okay. All right.

233
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,102
Whoa!
Looking very cool, Ken.

234
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,471
Thank you, Jerry,
for embracing my heritage.

235
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:07,808
Means a lot in light
of some recent persecution.

236
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:09,843
(SIGHS)
Just shut up.

237
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,247
Is everything okay?
(SIGHS) yes.

238
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,183
Yeah, Dave is doing
a school project,

239
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:19,286
so we're pinning down
a few traditions.

240
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,722
Otherwise,
it's just a totally
normal Thanksgiving.

241
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,558
Happy Thanksgiving!

242
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,095
Or, as turkeys call it,
the reckoning.

243
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,498
What are you
doing here?

244
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,700
Oh, hey, Ke...
Oh. Sorry, ken.

245
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,434
I didn't realize
the dress was...

246
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,103
Third-century Asian pimp?

247
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,639
I thought you went
to the sportsmen's lodge.

248
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:41,408
I did,
but that was a bust.

249
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,011
Hundreds of drunk divorcees,
and only two of them
were ladies.

250
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,679
(SIGHS)

251
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,480
It was
quite a sausage fest.

252
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,216
Ironically,
they ran out of sausage.

253
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,686
So I figured I'd take
you up on your invite.

254
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,722
I didn't invite you.
Julie did.

255
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,356
I know,
but her thing
sounded lame.

256
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,494
Oh.
We brought you this.

257
00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,130
Oh!

258
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,598
Look, Allison. Sake.
(CHUCKLES)

259
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,769
Your parents brought
even more Japanese
culture into own home.

260
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:10,838
Actually,
it's just chardonnay.

261
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:14,474
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
We had this at brunch.
Yeah. Very oaky.

262
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:18,311
Maybe next time,
read the label before
you open your cry hole.

263
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:21,448
Oh. We brought this
for the kids.
Aw!

264
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:25,485
We thought Christmas, gift,
Thanksgiving, no gift.

265
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:26,754
Uh, it's just
a little something.

266
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,889
Thanksgiving, no gift!

267
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,360
He's fun, huh?
(CHUCKLES)
Oh.

268
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,565
(DOORBELL RINGS)

269
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:39,800
ALL: Hey!

270
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,303
Happy Thanksgiving!

271
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,537
That's from both of us.

272
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:45,906
Not till you pay me,
it's not.

273
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,176
Please. Come in.

274
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:52,612
I was just finishing
cheesing some crackers.

275
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,882
I am just so happy
that you guys came.

276
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,350
Well, it's great
to be here.
DAMONA: Oh! (CHUCKLES)

277
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,986
All right.

278
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,653
Ooh! This is bad, Clark.
This is really bad.

279
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,356
I know!
She's pre-cheesing
the crackers,

280
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:06,259
and she doesn't know
how much cheese I like.

281
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,461
No! Look.
There's nobody here.

282
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,530
She said
it was a party.
Oh!

283
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,832
How the hell are we gonna
get out of this?

284
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,100
My cousins
are waiting on me!

285
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,935
I know. And I got to get
to my turkey trot thing.

286
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,870
If you don't get
there on time,
you get there late,

287
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:19,807
which means
you've missed part of it.

288
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,609
Thanks for explaining
how time works.

289
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:25,745
Look, we're just
gonna tell her
we're just stopping by,

290
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,547
we have other plans.
She'll understand.

291
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,482
Right. Good.
(TELEPHONE RINGS)

292
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,719
JULIE: Lois!
Where are you?

293
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:36,156
You're stopping by
on your way
somewhere else?

294
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,558
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, no. Don't bother.

295
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,829
You know who
"stops by on their way
somewhere else"?

296
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:45,465
Someone who's no longer
my friend! That's who!

297
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,536
Cheesed crackers?
(CHUCKLES)

298
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,805
Ooh!
Go ahead.

299
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,441
Don't be shy.
That is
just the right amount.

300
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:58,445
Mmm.

301
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:05,018
Mmm, damn!
This bulgogi's tight!

302
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:07,988
Mmm!

303
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,825
So, Jerry,
how flight?

304
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:14,227
Oh, fine.
We were a little late
taking off because...

305
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,563
Too much.
Just small talk.

306
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,967
Got it.

307
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,169
Soba noodles
really good.

308
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,804
Oh! I'm so glad
you like them.

309
00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:27,107
Mmm. You know
what's even better?
Kimchi.

310
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,575
Mmm-hmm.

311
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,145
Mmm-hmm.

312
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,181
This cabbage
fermented up real nice.

313
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,185
I got to say,
if I were coleslaw,

314
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,652
I'd be looking over
my shoulder right now,

315
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,554
'cause kimchi's
coming up fast, yo.

316
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,994
You know,
you guys really got

317
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,396
an interesting take
on Thanksgiving here, yeah?

318
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:52,199
Yeah, it's cool
to celebrate
both cultures.

319
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,467
It's important to keep
in touch with our roots.

320
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,069
Where turkey?

321
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,839
I'm with chuckles
here.

322
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,175
I would kill a man
for some mashed potatoes.

323
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,278
Are, are you using
that fork?

324
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,613
Thanks.

325
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:14,387
Okay, I'm gonna need
to get everyone saying
what they're thankful for.

326
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:15,622
Now is not
a good time, Dave.

327
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,856
Really?

328
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,358
Thanksgiving's
not a good time

329
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,727
to go around the table
and say what
we're thankful for?

330
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,400
All right.
I'll go first.

331
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,438
Because tonight has been
so awkward,

332
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:34,307
I'm thankful that my car
is the last one
in the driveway.

333
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,477
Good night.

334
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,381
Oh, I'm sorry.
He's kind of weird.

335
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,883
He's weird?
You're wearing your
mother's wedding dress.

336
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,820
Fits you good,
though.

337
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,091
Okay, then.
I'll go first.

338
00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:53,626
I'm thankful
for the Korean traditions

339
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,663
we're establishing
here today.

340
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,566
I'm thankful for my husband,
who's not at all stubborn

341
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,702
and picks the absolute
best time to make a point.

342
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:06,606
I'm thankful
for my wife's ability
to convey sarcasm.

343
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:10,543
And for her ability
to brainwash our kids
with Japanese propaganda.

344
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,312
No offense,
Jerry and Pam.

345
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:13,513
Offense, Allison.

346
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,083
You are such a child.

347
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,318
And you know if Molly
had gotten a Korean tattoo,

348
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,687
we'd all happily
be sitting here
eating turkey!

349
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,055
Molly got tattoo?

350
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,690
Turkey? Where turkey?

351
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,502
Damona?
Do you want to guess?

352
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:38,838
Corn and cider?

353
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,208
Nope. Clark?

354
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,910
Gunpowder and wool?

355
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,645
Nope.

356
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:49,416
The two most lasting gifts
that the pilgrims gave
the native Americans

357
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:52,419
were smallpox
and gonorrhea.

358
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,990
I just love
Thanksgiving trivia!

359
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,059
So, so fun.

360
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,528
Yeah.

361
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,363
Okay, well,
it's time for dessert.

362
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,198
I'm just gonna go
put the pies in.

363
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,569
Yo!
The pie's not even in!

364
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,939
Okay, this has become
a hostage situation.

365
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,409
You know what?
I got this.

366
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,710
What are you gonna do?

367
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,712
I'm gonna make this go
a little bit faster.

368
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,414
Okay, that is
not going to work,

369
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,982
because A,
she has a cellphone,

370
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,752
and B, we are not
in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

371
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:30,423
In go the pies,
out come the photo albums!

372
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,624
(SQUEALS)

373
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:35,295
(YAWNS) Oh, man!
Where did the time go?

374
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,032
What do you mean?
It's only...

375
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,833
Oh, my God.
What did you guys do?

376
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,469
Clark did it!

377
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,571
Greetings
from under the bus.

378
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,741
No, it was
both of you guys.

379
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:52,379
You just made time fly
on this night
that I have been dreading.

380
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,646
Oh.

381
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,482
Thank you so much!
You are true friends!

382
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,951
Yes! I'm a very
good friend!
JULIE: Oh!

383
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,388
And now, I am so sorry
to kick you out,
but (CHUCKLES)

384
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,290
I got to hit the hay,
you know?

385
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,592
It's past my bedtime,
and I got to clean up.

386
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,460
What about the pies?
Which...
(STOMPS)

387
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:11,698
You should bring
to work tomorrow.

388
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,633
What are you talking about
the pie for? Get on out!

389
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,302
(MUMBLES) Thank you.
Bye!

390
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,036
Girl, bye!
Bye!

391
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,912
What wrong with you?

392
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:29,015
Allison called me out
for being a lapsed Korean,
and I lost it.

393
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,418
Oh, yeah.
You whitest guy I know.

394
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,788
You cried
when the R.E.M.
broke up.

395
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:38,158
You must be
so disappointed.

396
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:41,294
You started a Korean school.
You go to a Korean church.

397
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,597
I mean, you go
to the driving range
when most people are working.

398
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,733
I let you down.

399
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,369
Son...

400
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,504
You don't have to prove
you're Korean.

401
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:55,242
The most important thing
is to be good father
and good husband,

402
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,743
which you are.

403
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,011
Well, not so much today.

404
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,616
Besides, being Korean

405
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,885
is not what you wear
or what you eat.

406
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:08,421
Korean in here.

407
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,592
Trust me.
You plenty Korean.

408
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:17,230
Now go fix
Thanksgiving.

409
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,866
Because this,
hot mess.

410
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,770
Thanks, Dad.

411
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,342
Besides, uh,
you're not true Korean

412
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,878
until you hit
entire bucket
of golf ball

413
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,613
with cigarette in mouth.

414
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:43,723
All right.
Who wants pizza?

415
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,525
(ALL CHEERING AND EXCLAIMING)

416
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,797
(DOORBELL RINGS)

417
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,966
Pat. What are you
doing here?

418
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,403
Well, I just had
the weirdest
Thanksgiving ever.

419
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,971
Don't spread this
at the office,

420
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:01,107
but it seems
that around the house,

421
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,709
Ken likes
to wear a dress.

422
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:07,380
I, I made a mistake.
I should have come
to your thing, and...

423
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,182
It was very nice of you
to invite me.

424
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,983
Aw, that's sweet, Pat.

425
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,019
But it's midnight.

426
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,487
PAT: Oh.

427
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,156
Really?
That's odd.

428
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:19,926
Guess my cellphone
must have stopped
at some point.

429
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,096
Huh.

430
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,599
Well, at least that means
Thanksgiving's over,
thank God.

431
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,000
I'll see you at work
on Monday.

432
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,102
Wait. Pat?

433
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,105
You came all this way.
Would you like some wine?

434
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,208
You know,
I don't mind if I do.

435
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,476
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

436
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,878
Thanks.

437
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,013
(DOOR CLOSES)

438
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:49,689
Hey, bae. I'm sorry
I was such a douche.

439
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,325
Yeah. That was
a real douche-a-palooza.

440
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,661
(CHUCKLES)

441
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,864
I mean, the truth is,
you're just doing
a much better job than me.

442
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,766
I mean, you teach the kids
Japanese stuff

443
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,534
with a rigid
efficiency that...

444
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:04,337
(CHUCKLES)
I don't know
where you get it.

445
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,473
That's okay.
I'm lapsed, too.

446
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,675
No, you're not.
I know.

447
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,343
I'm just trying to make
your apology go a little
quicker. We have guests.

448
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,111
(LAUGHS)

449
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,747
Look, I want both of us
to pass our traditions
on to the kids,

450
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,249
but let's do it together.

451
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,917
I'd like that.

452
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:19,486
You know what?
(SNAPS FINGERS)
Let's start tomorrow.

453
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,787
I'm thinking
maybe we take the kids

454
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,455
to the Korean
cultural center.

455
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:25,392
Eh, you know,
I don't think we need
to do that, you know.

456
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,960
I mean, my dad said
being Korean's in here.

457
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:30,196
Plus, it's Black Friday.
We should hit the mall.

458
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,831
(CHUCKLES)

459
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,967
Forever 21 is
practically giving away
summer tanks.

460
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,275
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

461
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,047
DAVE:
In search of wisdom

462
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:53,553
two cultures come together
as one.

463
00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:00,360
Old-fashioned methods
are kept alive,

464
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,963
and new ideas
are embraced.

465
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,336
But the most important
tradition of all

466
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:12,104
is how now,
just like back then,

467
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:14,040
everyone bands together

468
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:16,776
when the
white man invades.

469
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,584
What? I didn't have a lot
to work with.