1 00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,674 Are you kidding me with this rain? 2 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:09,810 I know you're not gonna believe this. 3 00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,879 On my lengthy walk from the parking lot, 4 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,582 I was accosted by a sea lion. 5 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:19,420 Are you sure it wasn't just a wet dog? 6 00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,855 I haven't been this wet since I was pulled up onstage 7 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:23,724 at that Luther Vandross concert. 8 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,361 What? Somebody hit the fire alarm. 9 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:28,529 I was soaked by the sprinkler. 10 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,865 Yay, yay! Where my healers at? 11 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,102 How are you so dry? 12 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,504 Pat moved me to the indoor valet lot, 13 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:40,074 so finally I can take full advantage of suede season. 14 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:42,643 Aw! 15 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,044 Forgot to leave my keys with the guy. 16 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,413 Hey, check this out... 17 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,148 Car's so close you can hear it from here. 18 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:49,817 (CAR ALARM CHIRPS) (LAUGHS) 19 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:53,020 Lock, unlock. Lock, unlock. (CHUCKLES) 20 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,355 Panic! (HORN BLARING) 21 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,657 Kidding. 22 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,058 All right, let's get to it. 23 00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:00,060 Hey, Damona, have you had a chance to read the schedule? 24 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:03,364 Hey, Ken, have you had a chance to read the room? 25 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,100 Mm. Not getting anything. 26 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,769 We're all drenched, 27 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:11,004 and you stroll in here bragging about your new valet spot 28 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,973 and your fancy jacket, Mr. Suede. 29 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,708 Oh, this jacket's not Mr. Suede. 30 00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,410 It's Dwayne's suede by Dwayne Wade 31 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,146 for Sherman Oaks coat factory. 32 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,382 PAT: Good morning, everybody. 33 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:24,452 Oh, and, Ken, happy suede season. 34 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,987 And to you, sir. 35 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,122 Whoop! Whoop! 36 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,290 Ah! 37 00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:30,624 (BOTH LAUGH) 38 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:31,859 Dwayne's suede? 39 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,261 No, Ace of suedes. Ah! 40 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,596 Anyhoo, 41 00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,331 good news, bad news... 42 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:38,532 Is something I wish I was able to say, 43 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,501 but I only have bad news. 44 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:41,735 To increase productivity, 45 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,003 you all have to work Saturdays. 46 00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,672 What? That is unacceptable. 47 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,641 Saturdays are college game day! 48 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,710 It's the Jewish Sabbath! 49 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,044 Not you, Ken. 50 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,780 Senior doctors don't have to work Saturday. 51 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,815 You heard the man. Rules is rules, people. 52 00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,551 Oh, hey. 53 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,453 I actually don't mind. 54 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,855 Sickness doesn't take Saturdays off, so why should we? 55 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,926 What I meant was... 56 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,663 (GROANS) Why, Pat? Why? 57 00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:15,803 I'm gonna take the rest of the day off to lounge on my yacht, 58 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,806 the SS I have a yacht and you don't. 59 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:23,677 Whew! That was close. 60 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,880 I almost lost my Saturdays. (CHUCKLES) 61 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,149 My big natty "sattys." (CHUCKLES) 62 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,918 What happened to you, little man? 63 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,020 What? You used to be one of us. 64 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:35,423 When we first started here, we would hang out together 65 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,057 and complain about people like Pat. 66 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,827 Now we complain about people like you. 67 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:42,663 Seriously, Clark, is that true? 68 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,031 Oh. (STAMMERS) 69 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,633 I don't participate in that at all. 70 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:49,603 Oh! So it wasn't you that came up with the nickname 71 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:52,606 "Dr. Ken, you believe how out of touch I've become"? 72 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,945 There's that dance that goes with it. 73 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,113 Guys, this is crazy. Come on! 74 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:03,484 I'm still the same Kenny from the block. 75 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:06,420 Excuse me, Mr. Ken. You forgot to leave your keys with me. 76 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:09,022 I realized it when the car kept locking, 77 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,924 unlocking, locking, unlocking, 78 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,493 panic, no panic. 79 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,794 Thank you, Juan-Julio. 80 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,396 Of course, Mr. Ken. 81 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,565 I parked it just the way you like, across two spots. 82 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:20,401 Okay, all right, thank you. 83 00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:22,503 With traffic cones blocking two additional spots. 84 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,138 Okay, all right. Very good. 85 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,741 I'll go ahead and get that glove compartment reupholstered! 86 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:28,942 Okay! 87 00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:37,985 I mean, they see me as this out-of-touch jerk, 88 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,387 but what am I supposed to do, 89 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,788 apologize that I've worked hard 90 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,290 and now I got a decent parking spot 91 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,891 and they're working Saturdays? 92 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,494 (SIGHS) 93 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,162 Let me ask you a question. Where do they park? 94 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,600 Uh, you know, by the... 95 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:57,305 I mean, I know it's outside because there was a lot of squawking about the rain. 96 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,706 Where do you eat lunch? 97 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,140 At the Executive Bistro. 98 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,642 And where do they eat? 99 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,176 Well, they used to eat in the cafeteria, 100 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,414 but now there's this whole vermin situation. 101 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,882 So now they eat in their cars. 102 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,784 So technically, I don't know where they eat, 103 00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,053 because I don't know where they park. 104 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,123 Oh, my God, I am an out-of-touch jerk. 105 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,258 This is a pretty solvable problem. 106 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:19,827 Oh, thank God. 107 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:22,563 Oh, so who do I hire to solve it? 108 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,032 Like, I got the money. I'm a doc, oh, wow. 109 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,468 I'm out of control. Help me. 110 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:29,870 Just go to bat for them. Talk to Pat. 111 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,772 See if you can get their Saturdays back. 112 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,807 Talking to Pat would mean doing the thing I hate doing the most... 113 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,142 Talking to Pat. 114 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,512 What up, my parents? 115 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,181 Oh, glad you guys are "A," off work 116 00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:44,852 before we get home from school, and "B," already drinking. 117 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,521 "A," we don't have to explain ourselves to you. 118 00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,523 And "B," you're the reason we drink. 119 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,093 Right back at you. 120 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,628 Excuse me? 121 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,129 (LAUGHS) Solid burn. 122 00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:59,900 Anyway, I thought you guys would want to know 123 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,436 that Dave has a new nickname at school. 124 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,571 Dave. 125 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,506 No, Dave's just my regular name. 126 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,109 Say the nickname, like we practiced. 127 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,444 Klompers. 128 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,681 Klompers? What, what does that even mean? 129 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:14,848 I don't know. 130 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,517 Which kids are calling you Klompers? 131 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:17,751 I don't know. 132 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,852 Does it bother you? 133 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,554 I don't know. 134 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,155 Well, it bothers me. 135 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:25,292 You know, for 80 bucks, I can make it go away. 136 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,827 It's a simple four-point plan 137 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,128 that involves positive messaging, 138 00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:29,630 social media, image consultation, 139 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,965 and, if necessary, a big kid named Hugo 140 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,801 who will hurt anyone for gummy worms. 141 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,671 No! 142 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,106 But here's exactly what you do. 143 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,409 You march up to whoever is calling you Klompers 144 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,176 and tell them, "my name is Dave Park, 145 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,012 "and that is what I'd like to be called." 146 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,179 Okay. 147 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,619 Just an FYI. The price goes up after today. 148 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:53,787 No! 149 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,256 (SIGHS) 150 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,327 He's got to learn to stand up for himself. 151 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,764 I agree, Al. Your parenting game is on fleek. 152 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,367 He should absolutely not take that nickname. 153 00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:10,003 Take the nickname, Dave. 154 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,972 Take the nickname? But you said... 155 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:15,275 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I say a lot of things in front of your mother I don't mean. 156 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,778 "I love it when we garden." 157 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,213 Or, "I would never remarry." 158 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,518 The point is, Klompers is not a bad nickname. 159 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,153 People are talking about you. 160 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,121 You're in the mix, sweetheart. 161 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,557 Okay, thanks, Dad. 162 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,592 I didn't want to give that speech anyway. 163 00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:34,361 Son, talking to people about stuff sucks. 164 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,097 Even this was a little rough. 165 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:38,899 I did not enjoy it. 166 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:48,241 * Whoa, Dr. Ken You Believe How Out of touch I've become 167 00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,443 * Yeah 168 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,644 * I Have No Regard 169 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:53,180 * For The Lower Income 170 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,648 * They Walk Through The rain 171 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:55,783 * Walk Through The Rain 172 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,518 * I Make It Rain... Whaa! 173 00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,823 All right, I deserved that. 174 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:05,893 Well, the idea of that, not the ham-fisted execution of it. 175 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,262 Look, I know you guys are upset. 176 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:13,667 But I had an idea that was my own and no one else's. 177 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,335 I'm gonna talk to Pat on your behalf. 178 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,471 You sure that wasn't Allison's idea? 179 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,507 Yeah, it feels like you needlessly got way out 180 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:22,109 ahead of that by saying it was "no one else's idea." 181 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,611 It was my idea. 182 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,178 Look, do you want your Saturdays back or not? 183 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,279 Hell, yeah. 184 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:27,615 Oh, that's okay. 185 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,084 Yes, please! 186 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,553 I demand it! 187 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,455 It's a great idea, boss. Thank you. 188 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:36,957 Don't thank me. Thank Allison. 189 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,258 Damn it! 190 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,531 Pat, we need to talk. 191 00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,032 I know what you're gonna say, 192 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,634 and before you do, let me tell you, I'm sorry, 193 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,301 I'll give you anything you want, 194 00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,437 and I love you. 195 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,908 Thanks. I love you too? 196 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,578 What? Oh, no, sorry. I'm on with my wife. 197 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,280 What's up? 198 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,582 Look, I think it's a mistake 199 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,116 to have the staff work Saturdays. 200 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,752 I hear you loud and clear. Let's just forget it. 201 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:05,986 Wow. That was easy. 202 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,955 Oh, no, still on with my wife. 203 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,456 No. Saturdays are happening. 204 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,692 Look, I get that it might increase profits, 205 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,727 but those are my people out there. Hello? 206 00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,996 Okay, well, why don't you come out on my yacht tonight, 207 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,631 and we'll talk it out over dinner? 208 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,100 No chance. That's literally the last thing I'd ever want to do! 209 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,735 Excuse me? Sorry, my wife. 210 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:22,803 Oh. 211 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:28,942 She wants to binge-watch How to Get Away with Murder tonight, so... 212 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,343 Permission to come aboard? 213 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,612 Okay. Uh, 8:00? 214 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,581 I've got plans. You just said... 215 00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,583 Oh, your wife. Right. Yeah. 216 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:38,586 I'll send you the address, and see you in hell. 217 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:39,820 (CHUCKLES) Wife? 218 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,321 No, I just thought it sounded cool. 219 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,194 Ooh! So, how did it go? 220 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,730 Good, great. Working on it. 221 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:52,232 Ken, will we know before Saturday? 222 00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:54,201 If I don't cancel my mall-walking group, 223 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:57,004 those bastards charge me. 224 00:08:57,070 --> 00:09:01,208 And I was supposed to go to the WNBA Draft. 225 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:04,612 Hey, I will not rest until I get this done for you guys. 226 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,615 Unless it bleeds into tomorrow, then I need to rest. 227 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,216 If I don't get eight or nine hours of sleep, 228 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,118 I mean, ten is really the sweet spot, 229 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:14,354 but the point is, I'm gonna do whatever it takes. 230 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:16,489 Oh, Ken. 231 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,491 Bring a windbreaker tonight. It gets a little nippy out on the yacht. 232 00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,297 Hey, guys, it's not like that. 233 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,166 You know what I think it's like? 234 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,068 That. 235 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,879 Hey, Allison. 236 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,247 (DOOR CLOSES) 237 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,849 Take the nickname? 238 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,087 All right, but I'd love to hear it first. 239 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,422 I'm talking about the advice you gave our son. 240 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:50,658 Well, in my defense, 241 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,560 Dave wasn't supposed to tell you I said that. 242 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,128 He didn't. He told me. 243 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,330 I told mom. Why would you do that? 244 00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:58,866 I'm trying to keep this a crisis, 245 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,568 create demand for my nickname-eradication skills. 246 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,571 Okay. No. 247 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,307 Ugh. Your loss. 248 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,509 If you need me, I'll be hanging with Klompers. 249 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:16,583 Look, I know you're peeved, vexed, cross even! 250 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,019 I never should have put that little book 251 00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,521 of old anger terms in the powder room. 252 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:22,856 I'm sorry I went behind your back, 253 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,725 but there are way worse nicknames 254 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,293 they could have given Dave, 255 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,829 like Glue Boy, from the time he ate all that glue. 256 00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:31,799 Or Staple Boy, from the time he ate all those staples. 257 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,835 Or Sandwich Boy, because he's afraid of sandwiches. 258 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,605 Besides, Bae, he's in the conversation. 259 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,340 You know who that conversation is with? 260 00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:42,142 His future therapist. 261 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:44,978 I have a patient who was nicknamed Julia Louis Doofus 262 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,747 when she was a kid because when she got nervous, 263 00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,348 she mispronounced her own name. 264 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,583 Okay, that's on her. She choked in a social sitch. 265 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,554 Besides, Klompers is harmless. 266 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:59,159 I mean, the kids are probably all like, "yo, everyone. It's Klompers!" 267 00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:02,830 Or they could be like, "No, everyone, it's Klompers." 268 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:07,100 Or it could be, "Guess who's here? It's Klompers! 269 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:10,704 "And he brought cider?" 270 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,807 Why is he bringing cider? 271 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,508 I don't know. It's a harvest festival 272 00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,344 and everyone's happy to see him? 273 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,081 Look, Bae, you're super smart, 274 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,483 but sometimes you're a little over-thinky. 275 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,319 Trust me. This is so not a big deal. 276 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,756 Yeah, you may be right. 277 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,323 I guess I should let this one go. 278 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,760 (CHUCKLES) There it is. Now give me some sugar. 279 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:38,531 Hey, Julia Louis Doofus was you, wasn't it? 280 00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,300 (GROANS) I used to get nervous! 281 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,908 Hey, Pat, it's Ken. 282 00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,376 So I'm looking for your boat, 283 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:52,212 but the old GPS here has me a good 284 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,848 30 miles from the nearest body of water. 285 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,885 PAT: Is that you in the gray car? 286 00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,552 Oh, you're here! 287 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,088 On your left. 288 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:03,623 Ahoy! 289 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,998 Oh, and that lamp, believe it or not, 290 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,565 is from the turn of the century. 291 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,167 The lava lamp? 292 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,436 Yeah, I bought that in 1999. 293 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,240 All right, just under the buzzer, yeah. 294 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:21,875 This is great, man. 295 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:24,444 This is way more "not in the water" than I expected. 296 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,280 Anyway, about this Saturday thing... 297 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,817 Ken, my wife says she no longer loves me. 298 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,953 Wow. Segue be damned. 299 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:36,957 Yeah. Yeah, my little flower says she wants a divorce. 300 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:40,127 She's insisting I no longer sleep in our marital bed. 301 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,062 Which, funny story, 302 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,197 is located in our marital home, 303 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,366 which funny story, 304 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,335 is located just up that driveway. 305 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,705 Anyway, about this Saturday thing... 306 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,842 Why are you so concerned about that? 307 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,010 I mean, it only affects the lowers. 308 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,411 Not you and me. 309 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,081 No, we're just two rich guys on a yacht. 310 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:05,452 Again, I got to throw a flag on "yacht." 311 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,720 And, you know what, those people you call "lowers," 312 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,456 I call them "Friends with less money." 313 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,825 Which isn't great, but it sells what I'm getting at. 314 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,927 And I'm here to stand up for them. 315 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:16,864 All right, well, we're gonna have to circle back to that. 316 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,766 Ken, I asked you here because I need medical attention. 317 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,168 Why, what's wrong? 318 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,370 Oh, nothing yet. But in a moment, 319 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,772 I'm gonna take this nail gun 320 00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:28,175 and fire a 2-inch framing nail... 321 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,609 Into my pinkie toe. 322 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,578 Oh! 323 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,913 Crudite? 324 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,754 Look, I've been to some weird parties... 325 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,291 Todd Lieberman's adult circumcision luau comes to mind, 326 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,761 but this is by far the weirdest. 327 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,965 Look, Ken... 328 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,202 See, over the course 329 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,770 of my at times turbulent marriage, 330 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,008 Tiffany's come to view me as cold and unsympathetic. 331 00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,609 No! 332 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,810 You? 333 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,412 It may sound crazy, 334 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,614 but I know when I pump this little piggy full of hot metal... 335 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,682 She'll know that you're completely bananas? 336 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,484 No, quite the opposite. 337 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,020 No, whenever I was sick or injured, 338 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:15,755 Tiff would always shower me with love and attention. 339 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,590 Ah, our marriage was never stronger 340 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,927 than when I shattered my coccyx breakdancing. 341 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,197 Anyway, I think I've got everything 342 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,166 you're gonna need to treat me. 343 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:29,102 I've got gauze and I've got sutures. 344 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:31,804 Oh, and I even got the creme brulee torch out of our kitchen 345 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:35,308 in case you have to cauterize the wound. 346 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,676 So, what do you say, Ken? 347 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,446 No! What? No! What is wrong with you? 348 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,282 I'm not gonna do this! I'm a doctor! 349 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:45,652 Do you honestly think shooting your own toe with a nail 350 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,487 is gonna help win your wife back? 351 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,022 Well, of course not. 352 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,490 I was gonna tell her I was attacked 353 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,059 by a drifter with a milky eye. 354 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,395 Or better, I'll say you did it! 355 00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:58,198 No one would believe that. Oh, really? 356 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,100 Well, it would be your word against mine, 357 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,901 a respected business and yachtsman. 358 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,004 You're neither of those things! 359 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,106 Confronted by a hot-tempered doctor 360 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,575 who just found out he has to work on Saturdays. 361 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,878 Oh, okay. So this is how it is? 362 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,547 Yeah. So, what's it gonna be, Ken? 363 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,853 Can I use the bathroom? 364 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,290 Oh, of course. Yes. It's right in here. 365 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,526 Do you mind? 366 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,860 Oh! Yeah. 367 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,932 (CELL PHONE RINGS) Hi, Ken. 368 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,534 Allison, I need... 369 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,736 Hold on. The girl on How to Get Away with Murder 370 00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:39,839 is about to possibly get away with murder? 371 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,774 Okay, she did. What's up? 372 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,343 Pat's gonna shoot a nail through his toe 373 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,611 to try to win his wife back! 374 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:45,979 What? That's crazy. 375 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,680 I know it's crazy. What do I do? 376 00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:50,350 Okay, the most important thing is to not leave him alone. 377 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,784 (NAIL GUN FIRES) 378 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,854 Hey! 379 00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,591 I was practicing on these baby carrots. 380 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,293 Oh, thank God. 381 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,663 Okay, listen, Pat, I don't like you. 382 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,498 And? 383 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,167 And I don't think I'm ever gonna like you. 384 00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:08,401 But? 385 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,836 But that's okay with me. 386 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,171 Because? 387 00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:12,872 Because you're unlikable. 388 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:15,842 However, I can't let you do this. 389 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,777 If you want to reboot your relationship, 390 00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:20,180 it has to be on a foundation of honesty, 391 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,748 not injuring yourself 392 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,584 in a pathetic attempt to gain pity. 393 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,119 You're better than that. 394 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,920 Not by a lot... 395 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,989 But you are. 396 00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,591 (SIGHS) 397 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,126 I guess you're right, Ken. 398 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,394 (SIGHS) 399 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,363 But I love her so much, 400 00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,765 it just makes me want to do crazy things, you know? 401 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,434 I think I do. 402 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,172 But I appreciate your wisdom, 403 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,873 and it won't soon be forgotten. 404 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:48,908 Thanks. 405 00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,046 Okay, so now that governor Ken 406 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,082 has given your little toe a pardon, 407 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,184 where are we on the whole Saturday of it all? 408 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,086 Oh, Ken-padre, please. 409 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,154 Working Saturdays is not gonna happen. 410 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,322 Oh, thank God. 411 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,357 Everyone's gonna be so relieved and happy. 412 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,659 Oh, no. Saturdays are very much happening 413 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,795 for the great unwashed. 414 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,598 Sorry. Friends with less money. 415 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:16,035 You leaving the yacht? Not a yacht! 416 00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,910 So, in film class, 417 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,412 we each got assigned a different Scarlett Johansson movie, 418 00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,314 and Madison wanted to trade with me, but I said no. 419 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,182 It's like, I got Lost in Translation. 420 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,917 And she got Her... period. 421 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,486 Mom, are you even listening? 422 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,655 Yeah, yeah. Madison got her period. 423 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,092 See ya, Klompers! 424 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,260 Bye! 425 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:42,995 Hey, Klompers, your shoe's unvelcro'd! 426 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,164 Okay. 427 00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,267 Hi, Mom. 428 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,802 That was not friendly. That was taunting. 429 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,673 Excuse me, boys. 430 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,675 Dave might be okay with being called Klompers, 431 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,043 but I'll tell you who's not. 432 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,911 Is it you? I feel like it's you. 433 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,749 It is me, Dave's mother. 434 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,717 And from now on, you will call him Dave, 435 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,120 and you will call me Mrs. Pork. Got it? 436 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,988 (BOTH LAUGH) 437 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,390 Why is that funny? 438 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,991 You said "Pork" Instead of "Park". 439 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,761 Oh, God, it's happening again. 440 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,164 I meant Park, okay? Mrs. Park. 441 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,031 Sure thing, Mrs. Pork. 442 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,333 Bye, Mrs. Pork. 443 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:24,604 Could've just thrown money at it. 444 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,377 (GASPS) The mall walkers are having 445 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,812 an apres-walk pretzel at Wetzel's! 446 00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:35,982 (INHALES SHARPLY) Like. 447 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:43,055 What are you doing here? I thought you'd be out enjoying your natty satty. 448 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,125 I couldn't stand the thought of my friends working while I wasn't, so... 449 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:49,829 You are, you know, just when I, I can't even... 450 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,464 Okay, bring it in, my healers. 451 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,533 Oh. Okay. 452 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,703 (STRAINING) And release. 453 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,705 (SIGHS) 454 00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,607 You know what, before I knew you were supporting us like this, 455 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,709 I took your computer mouse and I... 456 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,544 I'm gonna just get you a new one. 457 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,180 Cool. 458 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,815 Starting Monday, 459 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,184 I've arranged for all of you to park in the valet lot. 460 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,685 Are you serious? Shut up. 461 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,421 And I brought bagels. 462 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,289 (GASPS) What? Where are they? 463 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:17,857 Well, it's in my car. I'm gonna go get it right now. 464 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,926 Oh, Mr. Ken, I brought the Jewish donuts you asked for. 465 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,294 Okay. 466 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,029 Sorry I was late. It was a long line. 467 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,499 Okay, okay, thank you, Juan-Julio. 468 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:29,469 What? So, I guess I'm a tiny bit out of touch. 469 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:36,075 * Oh, Dr. Ken You Believe How out of touch I've become 470 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:40,079 * I Have No Regard For the lower income 471 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:43,616 * Dr. Ken You Believe How out of touch I've become * 472 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,786 It's a good song. 473 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,421 A good song. 474 00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,327 Dave, sandwich? Ah! 475 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,662 Sorry. 476 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,465 What up, Master P's? 477 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,801 Bad news, another family member has acquired a nickname. 478 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,236 Dave? 479 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,738 No, I already had a nickname, Klompers, remember? 480 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,840 (GROANS) Why do I even throw to you? 481 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,909 Mom, they're still calling you Mrs. Pork. 482 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,344 It stuck. (GIGGLES) 483 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,247 But they're calling me Dave again, 484 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,715 so that's on the up and up. 485 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:20,052 So, "Mrs. Pork", huh? 486 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,921 Does that make you cross? Peeved? 487 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,923 Mad as a wet hen? 488 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,525 No. 489 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,794 I think we've all learned that nicknames are stupid, 490 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,497 so let's just all grow up and move on, okay? 491 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,966 Make it go away. 492 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,636 Unfortunately, the price has now skyrocketed to... 493 00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:38,104 I've got $40. Deal.