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00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,314
- Are you recording?
2
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,066
Alright, let's do this.
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Anyone have a Kleenex?
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00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,206
Okay.
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00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,790
Cleveland Municipal Stadium.
6
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:39,840
Ground was broken
on June 24th, 1930.
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The three million dollar
facility officially opened
8
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,756
just over a year later,
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00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,883
and become home
to the Cleveland Indians
10
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,057
and Chief Wahoo.
11
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:51,476
The Indians won the
World Series in '48,
12
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,522
and won the American
League pennant in '54.
13
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:57,065
The Browns were
a championship team.
14
00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:01,111
Local DJ Alan Freed introduced
the world to Rock and Roll.
15
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,652
Cleveland was
a great place to live.
16
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,075
Then the slump kicked in.
17
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,447
Decades of heartbreak.
18
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,996
Bad trades and bad luck.
19
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,073
The curse of Rocky Colavito.
20
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:16,410
In '69, the Cuyahoga River
caught fire,
21
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,167
and the story made
Time Magazine.
22
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:22,796
That incident turned Cleveland
into the worst kind of joke...
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00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,842
a running joke.
24
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:28,134
The city had gained
a catchy slogan:
25
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,591
"The Mistake on the Lake."
26
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,827
- Hi, Nick,
this is Fairview Park
27
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,103
Senior Care calling.
28
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,779
Your mother is
feeling tired today.
29
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,822
We don't think she
should go out in the cold.
30
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We're paging the doctors.
It's nothing to worry about.
31
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,945
She said she'll call you
in the morning.
32
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:36,783
- Hey, what's going on, amigo?
33
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:40,495
Yeah, I need you to vaminos
over to my house,
34
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,171
take me by my brother's place.
35
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,590
Come on, man.
36
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:49,216
It's Christmas Eve,
not Christmas Day.
37
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,467
Merry Christmas!
38
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Hey, Valerie.
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00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,554
What's crack-a-lackin', girl?
40
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Yes.
Yes, you can be on the clock.
41
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,853
Alright.
42
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,525
Gracias.
43
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,818
Not in that shirt.
44
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,868
- Hey, what's going on?
45
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,203
- Hey, Luis.
46
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,707
- So where does
your brother live?
47
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:27,166
- In those rich-ass old houses
over by Lakewood Park.
48
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:30,128
- Oh, there are some
really nice homes over there.
49
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,465
- He sure as hell didn't
pay for his, believe me.
50
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,425
- A present.
51
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,349
- Huh.
Thanks, Luis.
52
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,605
You're my Number 1 Guy.
53
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,561
And I'm your Number One Boss.
54
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,238
- The family
business keeps me afloat.
55
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Dad started Wilkins Landscape
with a lawnmower,
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00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,027
a pickup truck, and a dream.
57
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:59,581
Now 40 years later the business
is still alive but barely.
58
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:03,035
- Bet you never gave this
to your bosses in Mexico.
59
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,791
- Puerto Rico.
60
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:07,339
- Same thing.
61
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,007
- It's not.
62
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,467
- Yeah, it kind of is.
63
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,971
- It's a commonwealth
of the United States.
64
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,046
- What?
65
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,893
- Gotta get gifts first, Luis.
66
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,437
Oh!
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00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,025
Blue tape.
68
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,486
Everybody needs blue tape
every once in a while.
69
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,739
They got a teenage
boy at the house.
70
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,492
Kids love flashlights.
They go nuts for 'em.
71
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:40,948
Blank VHS.
72
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,375
Who doesn't like blank VHS?
73
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,201
Nobody.
74
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,494
That's it for gifts.
75
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:49,081
Alright, let's party.
76
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,508
- Good?
- Yeah.
77
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,678
- I need something
that a girl will drink,
78
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,676
something with a
little punch to it.
79
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:59,679
Oh, Luis, you have a daughter.
80
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,510
She drink stuff like this?
81
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:05,188
- Oh, she doesn't drink.
She's only 12.
82
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,810
- She's drinking.
83
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,564
Believe me, they all drink.
84
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,027
- Probably.
85
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,275
- One last thing.
86
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,657
- Ladies like this
Fire and Ice stuff?
87
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,029
- Yeah.
88
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,200
- Alright.
89
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,654
It's gonna be an awesome night.
90
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,659
June 4, 1974,
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00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,744
the Cleveland Indians where
scheduled to take on
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00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,876
the Texas Rangers.
93
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:32,708
That year, attendance at
Municipal Stadium averaged
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00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:36,091
a paltry 8,000 people a game,
95
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:40,015
but on this night
over 25,000 would show up.
96
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,388
They came for 10 cent beer.
97
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,221
Management thought
this promotion
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00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:48,728
would be a great way
to drive up attendance.
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00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:52,482
Who could say no to
a cup of brew for a dime?
100
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,905
You could buy up to
6 beers at one time.
101
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,948
There was no cutoff.
102
00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,951
The Indians had
played the Rangers
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00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,994
six days before in Texas.
104
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:06,041
There was bench-clearing brawl
and plenty of hard feelings.
105
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:09,416
But the real anger
was brewing in the stands.
106
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:13,089
The Rangers needed
to be taught a lesson.
107
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,542
The citizens of Cleveland
had been kicked in the gut
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00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,593
for far too long.
109
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,849
Tonight they were
going to fight back.
110
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- Marcus!
111
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:34,732
- What?
112
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,529
- Pause your game
and get in here.
113
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,449
- I can't just pause it,
I'm playing online.
114
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:40,741
Fucking bullshit!
115
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- Hey, language!
116
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- I'll be there when
the match is over.
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- So help me God,
118
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if I come in there and you're
still playing that thing...
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Sophie.
120
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She ended her marriage
121
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so she could have
a trophy husband:
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my stupid brother.
123
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- Oh, no, honey,
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you're not going to wear
this tonight, are you?
125
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,049
- I got to advertise
my shirt designs.
126
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:03,052
Get the word out, get paid.
127
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,475
- God, I hate my brother.
128
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,928
I hate everything about him.
129
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,809
He's the baby of the family,
130
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,561
an accident,
131
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who's always skated by
on looks and charm.
132
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- Can you just put on a nice
shirt like a normal husband?
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It's Christmas Eve.
134
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:21,525
- Okay.-
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00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,210
- And now I
have to go over there
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00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,111
and celebrate Christmas with him
137
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and his rich cougar new wife.
138
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,866
I'd rather be at a bar.
139
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,668
- Okay, okay, can you get
Marcus to come in here
140
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,336
and finish making
the popcorn garland?
141
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:35,664
And he's been playing since
he got up this morning.
142
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,920
- Well, let him play.
I can handle that job.
143
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,343
- No, leave it.
You'll screw it up.
144
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:41,340
That's not what I meant.
145
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,343
Can you go find Valerie?
She knows how I like it.
146
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:44,923
- Alright.
147
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,684
- But I'm
going over there anyway.
148
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,636
- To see her.
- Valerie?
149
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,348
- Hey, Val...
150
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,933
- Ugh, just come in,
I can't hear you.
151
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,412
- Hey, your mom, she needs
help with the popcorn garland.
152
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,154
- Valerie.
- Fuck the garland.
153
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,903
- Yeah, I know,
it's annoying, but...
154
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,701
- Tonight she'll be mine.
155
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:07,154
- Hey, is your brother Nick
coming over today?
156
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,955
- That's what he said.
157
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,203
- Awesome!
That guy is a riot.
158
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,499
- You talk to him?
159
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,748
- Yeah, on Facebook sometimes.
160
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,547
- Why?
- Because he's a loser.
161
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,716
- You sound jealous.
162
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,464
- Jealous of a drunk
that got a DUI
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00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,216
in front of his own house?
164
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,092
I don't think so.
165
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,351
- Santa's here!
166
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You need to lock your door!
167
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- Look at this house.
168
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,315
Must be nice to
marry into money.
169
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,614
- Oh, Nick.
170
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,695
Hi!
171
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,951
Um, I didn't hear
the doorbell ring
172
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,123
and you're early.
173
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,792
Um, dinner is at 6.
It's 3.
174
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- We're family now.
175
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:57,996
- Oh.
176
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:01,049
Uhh... ugh...
okay...
177
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,427
I can take your coat.
178
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:07,381
- Nah, I'm good.
179
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,515
Hey, doc, I got a question.
180
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:13,266
Um, I have this little pain
181
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:15,563
and then the skin feels tight
182
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:19,017
and weird and then there's,
like, an indentation.
183
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,694
- Um, that's a stretch mark.
You're gaining weight.
184
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:22,612
- Awesome.
185
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,234
Saved me a co-pay.
186
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:29,153
- There is a difference
between pharmaceutical sales
187
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,487
and being a doctor.
188
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,289
- Can you sell me some Vicodin?
189
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,707
- No.
190
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,127
- How about a little Viagra?
191
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,124
For a buddy.
192
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,956
- Okay, I'm going
to let you get to it.
193
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:44,009
- I have to check on
the cookies.
194
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:50,808
♪ Joy to the world
195
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:56,730
♪ The Lord is come
196
00:09:56,805 --> 00:10:04,805
♪ Let Earth receive her King
197
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,114
- Uncle Nick!
198
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:12,453
- Hey, girl.
199
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,666
What's crack-a-lackin'...?
200
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,961
- Ugh, I'm just making
this popcorn garland.
201
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,589
So, uh, what's in the bags?
202
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,259
- It's just some gifts
for White Elephant...
203
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:29,588
and some drinks for the adults.
204
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,014
- I'm an adult.
205
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,807
- No, don't even think about it.
206
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,431
- But Mom, it's Christmas.
207
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,638
- Yeah.
Come on, Mom.
208
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,188
- I'm sorry, I said no.
209
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,858
- How about wine with dinner?
210
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,810
- Yeah.
Dad lets me have a glass.
211
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,362
- Well, then why don't you
go to his house?
212
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,249
If you want to spend
Christmas Eve with your father
213
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,583
instead of your family,
be my guest.
214
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,200
- Dad is my family.
215
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,619
- You know what I mean.
216
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,788
- Whoa, whoa, ladies,
217
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:57,207
let's save the fighting for
when we're all drunk, huh?
218
00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:00,081
- Nick, please.
219
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,232
- Before the
game had even started,
220
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:16,556
firecrackers and smoke bombs
were set off in the stands.
221
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:20,855
A hazy, murky cloud began to
drift over the game's attendees.
222
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,227
They were drinking cheap beer
223
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,776
and making their
own entertainment.
224
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,979
The first person
to run on the field
225
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:30,406
was a large woman
with an ample bosom.
226
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:31,949
The crowd loved it.
227
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,074
She tried to put moves
on umpire Nestor Chilack.
228
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,747
He rejected her affections.
229
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:41,497
That was only the first display
of nudity from the crowd.
230
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,509
This streaker found
an interesting way
231
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,054
to get some painful abrasions.
232
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,148
- Great house, man.
233
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,476
It looks like a Pottery Barn
234
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,108
fucked a Restoration Hardware
in here.
235
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,898
In a good way.
236
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,326
I hope we have enough.
237
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,120
To Dad.
238
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:19,196
- To Dad.
239
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,836
- What's the matter,
you can't put 'em back anymore?
240
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,792
- Oh, the funny old man.
241
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:31,967
- Well, baby brother,
242
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:35,013
where do you keep that
fruity shit you drink?
243
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,732
- Got a little wine cellar
in the basement,
244
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,008
if that's what you mean.
245
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,469
- Dude, what the fuck
is a tannin anyway?
246
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,598
- It's complicated.
247
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,113
- Well, maybe you could
explain it to me
248
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,856
like I'm some dried-up
Lakewood hag.
249
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,809
- I don't work at the
wine bar anymore.
250
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:51,237
- Oh, that's right,
251
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,189
you're a stay-at-home mom now.
252
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,526
Is that like when you used
to stay home from school
253
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,657
and sit around all day
watching The Price ls Right,
254
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,363
fucking the couch?
255
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:03,416
"Uh, uh...
Take that, Plinko!
256
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,710
Work the shaft, Bob Barker,
work the shaft!"
257
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,096
- You're really going
to make me regret
258
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,497
inviting you over today, huh?
259
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:09,831
- Probably.
260
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,757
- Great, then it'll be
just like my wedding.
261
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,710
- I don't remember your wedding.
262
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:21,722
- "This is how we do it..."
263
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,723
- I remember everything.
264
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,398
- Just keep it together, okay?
265
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,229
It's our first real
Christmas as a family.
266
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,912
- Oh, uh, Nick.
267
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,164
Put that out.
268
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,620
- I will when I find an ashtray.
269
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:52,207
- No, no, um... No, no,
this is a no-smoking house
270
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,418
so I'm sorry... ugh...
271
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,720
but if you have to smoke
you have to go outside.
272
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,093
- I'll freeze my
balls off out there
273
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,267
and you don't want to see me
without a cigarette.
274
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,185
It's like this but worse.
275
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:08,231
- Well, then...
you can use Cody's studio.
276
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,901
- Cody has a studio?
277
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,078
What the fuck?
278
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,426
The latest in a long line
279
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,748
of my brother's failed careers.
280
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:33,206
And now he's apparently
a t-shirt designer?
281
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,087
- "Futtbucker."
282
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,756
What a douche.
283
00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:45,680
- Can I bum a cigarette?
284
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:46,636
- You smoke?
285
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,848
- Of course.
It makes my mom so happy.
286
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,732
- What is all of this?
287
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,318
- "Co-Tees."
288
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,161
It's a play on words.
289
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,830
- No, I get it.
290
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,749
- He, like, set up
a website and everything.
291
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,748
And I actually model
for him sometimes.
292
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,080
- Yeah?
You like doing that?
293
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,835
- Yeah, it's fun actually.
294
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,507
Plus, who knows?
295
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:20,803
Maybe one day
I'll be on a runway in Paris.
296
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,678
- I could see that.
- Oh, yeah?
297
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,931
- This whole t-shirt thing
is news to me.
298
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,602
When did Cody start this?
299
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:31,272
- Ah, when my mom made him
quit the wine bar.
300
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,349
- She made him quit?
301
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,827
- Yeah, so that way
he wouldn't have to work
302
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:38,230
weird hours anymore
and never be at home.
303
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,155
And now he can just
do whatever he wants
304
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,199
and follow his dreams.
305
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,277
- Fuck.
306
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,130
- Can I use your glass?
307
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,177
- Yeah, sure.
308
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:18,444
Damn, girl.
You were thirsty, huh?
309
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,897
- Yeah, don't tell my mom.
310
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,903
- I can keep a secret.
311
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,950
- I bet you can.
312
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,915
Do you have a girlfriend?
313
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,085
- No.
314
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,878
Not really.
315
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:39,423
- Yeah, but I bet you have
fuckbuddies, right?
316
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,627
- I get around, I guess.
317
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,839
What about you?
Do you have anyone?
318
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,515
- No.
319
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,935
I'm not really interested
in having some relationship.
320
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,102
I just want to have fun
321
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:55,899
and not worry about getting
some jealous guy upset.
322
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:59,937
- Yeah.
You're a smart girl.
323
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,771
Guys your age,
324
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,481
all they know how to do
is how to mimic
325
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,158
whatever they've seen
on Bang Bus.
326
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,451
It's an epidemic.
327
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,780
It's all about anal sex
328
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:13,583
and blowin' it on some
poor girl's tits and...
329
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:14,955
ah, Jesus...
330
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,536
well, you... sorry.
331
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:19,168
But you know what I mean, right?
332
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,841
- I probably said too much.
333
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,715
But it was the truth.
334
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:28,677
- I should go before
my mom catches me.
335
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:33,561
- If you need another drink
or smoke or whatever,
336
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:36,765
you know where I am.
337
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,984
- A couple more drinks,
338
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,029
then things will start
getting interesting.
339
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,207
In the third inning,
340
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,835
the beer was flowing
341
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,885
and the crowd was
having a good time.
342
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,511
That didn't last long.
343
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,762
They were one step away
344
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:15,562
from taking the night
to an unpleasant place.
345
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:42,709
- Writing a journal?
346
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,000
Blog?
347
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,593
You like pussy?
348
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,684
Just making sure
you're listening.
349
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,687
You're a real
conversationalist, Marcus.
350
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:05,145
The back and forth here
is really something.
351
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,229
- It's hard to believe
that you're my uncle.
352
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,657
You're sort of like
a weird homeless dude
353
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:12,110
who just kind of
wandered in here.
354
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,953
- Well, believe it, nephew,
355
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:19,159
my asshole brother married
your mom on Valentine's Day.
356
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:23,587
- Well, we can agree on
something: Cody is an asshole.
357
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,710
Big time.
358
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,417
What, he's only, like,
15 years older than me
359
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,218
and he wants me to call him Dad?
360
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,419
I got a dad.
361
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,757
He's 48, bald,
and loves the Browns.
362
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,432
Not some 31-year-old douche
363
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,261
who makes shitty t-shirts
for a living.
364
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:42,724
- Wow, you really know
your shit, Marcus.
365
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:46,482
So, tell me about Valerie.
366
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,188
- She thinks she's a model
and hates my mom.
367
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,865
- I can see that.
She could defiantly be a model.
368
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,534
She's definitely hot enough.
369
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:54,360
- Yeah, right.
370
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:57,872
She's 5'4"
and lives in Cleveland.
371
00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,369
When you have Ohio genetics
372
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:02,076
your body morphs
into the shape of a tugboat
373
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,537
by the time you're 30.
374
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,088
It's inevitable.
375
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:10,294
- You're alright, Marcus.
376
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,674
You're a whole lot of alright.
377
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,899
- Oh, no, I need that
for the stuffing.
378
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:28,912
Hey, shouldn't you guys
be on your way
379
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,030
to the nursing home by now?
380
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,823
- Oh, yeah, Mom's not coming.
381
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,866
- What? Why?
382
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,285
- They said she's
not feeling good
383
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,910
so they called her doctor
to come check her out.
384
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,621
That's going to
cost me more money.
385
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,044
- Great. Mom's gonna die
on fucking Christmas.
386
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,962
- No, she's not.
She's just tired.
387
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,835
She needs some rest.
388
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,258
- Michelle and Kevin
are still coming, right?
389
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,085
I mean, if they don't show up
390
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:55,137
I will have made this
whole dinner for nothing.
391
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,338
All this...
392
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,390
No...
I'm glad that you're here, Nick.
393
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:00,719
I just hate wasting food,
394
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,805
and I've been making a dinner
for eight, not five.
395
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,856
- I'll text Michelle.
I'll see what's going on.
396
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,059
I'm sure she's just
stuck at work.
397
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,022
- Yeah, and I'll take home
some leftovers.
398
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,441
- I bet you will.
399
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:20,287
"I bet you will."
400
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,585
- I decide to make
another whiskey on the rocks.
401
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,628
Dad liked those.
402
00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:03,618
I need to stop
thinking about Emily
403
00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:07,577
or this night is going to turn
into a complete disaster.
404
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:29,064
- You're good.
405
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:34,361
Show me how to play something?
406
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,239
- It's not that easy.
407
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:40,322
- Show me where to put my fingers.
- Okay.
408
00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:41,903
- Alright. Ready?
409
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:43,408
- Yeah.
410
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,793
I'm terrible.
411
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,899
I should go check on that.
412
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:21,112
- I need a refill.
413
00:23:30,534 --> 00:23:32,536
Who the fuck's Jon Miller?
414
00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:37,583
- In the bottom
of the fourth inning,
415
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,343
Rangers pitcher Fergie Jenkins
416
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,420
was taken down by a line drive
417
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:44,757
from the bat
of Cleveland's Leron Lee.
418
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,638
The ball came so fast,
419
00:23:46,717 --> 00:23:48,970
Jenkins couldn't decide
whether to catch it
420
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:50,771
or get out of the way.
421
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:53,565
He ended up getting
hit straight in the gut.
422
00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:56,190
The crowd sprang to life.
423
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:59,192
Not out of concern
for the injured player
424
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,899
but because they wanted more.
425
00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:03,700
They wanted blood.
426
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:05,574
The fuse had been lit.
427
00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:08,122
The crowd began
to chant in unison:
428
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:11,076
"Hit him harder.
Hit him harder.
429
00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:13,456
Hit him harder."
430
00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:15,041
- Hey, Cody.
Think fast!
431
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,121
- Nick!
432
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:18,253
Jeez, man,
you almost broke my phone.
433
00:24:18,332 --> 00:24:19,834
- Look at this guy,
434
00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:21,794
sporting a new outfit
his wife bought him.
435
00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:22,753
- Seriously, dude!
436
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:24,258
What a little pecker.
437
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,316
- You break something in here,
the lady of the house,
438
00:24:26,340 --> 00:24:27,512
not gonna be happy.
439
00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:30,265
- Man, you're whipped.
440
00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:35,145
You know, there is nothing
better than a tasty beverage.
441
00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:39,274
- Hey, do us a favor, man,
don't drink too much, okay?
442
00:24:39,353 --> 00:24:42,948
- Excuse me for wanting
to enjoy my fancy new mug.
443
00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:45,025
- "Number One Boss."
444
00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,861
- Fucking impressive shit.
445
00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:48,867
That's me.
446
00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:51,620
You know, you should
come work for me, Cody.
447
00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:52,951
Family business.
448
00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:54,376
What dad always wanted.
449
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:55,577
- Not a chance.
450
00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,755
- What's it like to not
have to work for a living?
451
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:58,456
- I work.
452
00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,420
- Oh, I saw your little
make-believe business
453
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,251
in the garage.
454
00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:04,302
Oh, I'm sorry, your "studio."
455
00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:07,844
- What was that, Marcus?
456
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,015
- I didn't say anything.
457
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:11,970
- That's right. You just
go back to having no life.
458
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:13,304
Mind your own business.
459
00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:14,889
- That's not cool, man.
460
00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:15,972
- No, man.
Kids like him,
461
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:17,325
they spend their whole day
on the internet,
462
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,477
they think they got
the world figured out.
463
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,403
Let me ask you something,
Marcus. When...
464
00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:23,776
When was the last time
you had sex?
465
00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:25,529
Or better yet,
466
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:28,781
when was the last time
you kissed a chick?
467
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:30,659
You know what
you're good at, Marcus?
468
00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:32,581
Stuffing your fat face
with junk food
469
00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:34,203
and playing video games all day.
470
00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:35,580
Congratulations, my man.
471
00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:38,037
It's gonna get you
real far in life.
472
00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:44,719
- Hey. Do not listen
to that dickwad.
473
00:25:46,128 --> 00:25:48,756
Hey, Marcus, think fast!
474
00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:51,471
- Oh, dude'.
- Marcus!
475
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:53,678
- Go ahead and blame that on me.
476
00:25:53,761 --> 00:25:57,061
Do not worry about it, okay?
It's totally cool.
477
00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:05,656
- I've had
one too many too early.
478
00:26:19,453 --> 00:26:22,457
What's she interested in?
479
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:31,515
- Nice tits.
480
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:34,264
Oh, shit.
481
00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:38,806
- The booze
caught up with me too fast.
482
00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:41,142
This isn't good.
483
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:47,072
There, that's better.
484
00:26:48,649 --> 00:26:50,993
Time for Round 2.
485
00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,824
- You disappeared
upstairs for a bit.
486
00:26:56,907 --> 00:26:58,705
Is everything okay?
487
00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:05,340
- Do you have a boyfriend?
488
00:27:05,415 --> 00:27:06,587
- No.
489
00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:09,637
We went over this, remember?
490
00:27:09,711 --> 00:27:13,761
- Yeah, I know, it's just...
491
00:27:15,676 --> 00:27:17,349
Ah, never mind.
492
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:21,307
- Okay... well, now you
have to say something.
493
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:24,439
- Is that how it works?
- Uh-huh.
494
00:27:24,518 --> 00:27:26,566
- I just...
495
00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:28,522
When you left me at the piano?
496
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:31,984
You left your phone behind.
497
00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:33,694
- Were you going
through my phone?
498
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:34,949
" No!
499
00:27:35,028 --> 00:27:36,780
No, I would never.
500
00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:39,037
That's something
a creep would do. Yuck.
501
00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:41,744
No, I just glanced
over when it lit up,
502
00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:46,207
out of pure reflex
and... you know.
503
00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:48,925
- What did you see?
504
00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:51,469
- Kind of a racy text.
505
00:27:51,545 --> 00:27:53,923
- Yeah. That.
506
00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:57,972
- Do you like that?
507
00:27:58,051 --> 00:28:00,145
- Sexting?
508
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:03,190
Sometimes, yeah.
509
00:28:04,558 --> 00:28:06,686
- Who's this guy?
510
00:28:06,768 --> 00:28:07,894
" Jon?
511
00:28:07,978 --> 00:28:10,026
You don't know him.
512
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:14,235
- You know, you could send me
a message like that some time.
513
00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:16,870
Just as a goof.
514
00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:19,118
You know what?
Forget it.
515
00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:21,701
Nah, I don't even care,
Like, I don't give a fuck.
516
00:28:21,783 --> 00:28:23,456
But if you were bored...
517
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:27,756
I, you know, have a lot of texts
on my phone plan
518
00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:30,584
that I never use,
you know, thousands,
519
00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:35,764
and it just seems like a waste,
so then next month it's...
520
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:38,843
two thousand, you know...
521
00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:43,146
- You should get your
money's worth.
522
00:28:44,973 --> 00:28:47,192
- Holy shit.
523
00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:53,148
- Val,
524
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:55,280
you know how upsets me
when you smoke.
525
00:28:55,359 --> 00:28:58,238
- She's not.
- I'm not.
526
00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:00,322
- Nick, are you Ok?
527
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:02,373
- Yeah, I'm awesome.
528
00:29:03,033 --> 00:29:05,627
Val, come in
and set the dinner table.
529
00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:07,680
- Are you gonna ask Marcus
to do anything, or just me?
530
00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:09,672
- Now.
531
00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:19,098
Hold on.
532
00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:20,596
Have you been drinking?
533
00:29:20,676 --> 00:29:23,555
- No, alright?
God!
534
00:29:26,848 --> 00:29:28,441
Don't corrupt my daughter.
535
00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:31,896
- I'm not.
I'm a positive influence.
536
00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:33,522
- Of course you are.
537
00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:37,075
- But your daughter is twenty
and in college.
538
00:29:37,150 --> 00:29:39,403
I should be the least
of your worries.
539
00:29:42,531 --> 00:29:44,579
- Are you going to answer that?
540
00:29:44,658 --> 00:29:46,535
- No.
541
00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:50,460
- You look ridiculous.
542
00:29:50,539 --> 00:29:52,962
What are you talking about?
543
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:55,794
I look like fuckin'
Jason Statham.
544
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:58,380
I'm a badass.
545
00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:06,897
- I used to light
cigarettes like this for Emily.
546
00:30:06,972 --> 00:30:09,976
One for me, one for her.
547
00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:13,775
There I go again.
548
00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:19,118
Think about the girl
that's here with me now.
549
00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:27,409
Shit just got real.
550
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:32,464
- Fuck.
551
00:30:33,749 --> 00:30:36,798
It's too damn cold in here.
552
00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:41,807
C'mon, dude.
553
00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:43,843
Just a second!
554
00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:47,100
That's what I'm talkin' about.
555
00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:51,483
Hurry up.
556
00:30:51,725 --> 00:30:53,602
- Almost done.
557
00:30:56,438 --> 00:30:57,860
Hey, Michelle.
558
00:30:57,939 --> 00:30:59,407
- Oh my God.
559
00:30:59,483 --> 00:31:00,780
Were you beatin' it in there?
560
00:31:00,859 --> 00:31:01,951
My sister.
561
00:31:02,027 --> 00:31:03,700
She's got the good looks of Cody
562
00:31:03,779 --> 00:31:05,998
but the bad manners of me.
563
00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:08,417
- What? No, no, I've got
this thing on my pants.
564
00:31:08,492 --> 00:31:09,539
I'm good.
565
00:31:09,618 --> 00:31:11,837
Uh, when'd you get here?
566
00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:14,381
- Just now. Get out.
Beater.
567
00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:17,335
- It's all yours.
- Eww.
568
00:31:18,794 --> 00:31:20,296
- Hey, big game on Sunday.
569
00:31:20,379 --> 00:31:22,131
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
570
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:24,182
Gimme a minute.
571
00:31:31,598 --> 00:31:33,976
Come on.
572
00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:37,108
Send, you piece of crap.
573
00:31:37,979 --> 00:31:39,082
- What are you trying to do?
574
00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:40,779
- Don't worry about it.
575
00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:47,247
I'm sorry.
576
00:31:47,322 --> 00:31:49,416
These pants give me
the worst camel toe.
577
00:31:51,159 --> 00:31:52,911
- What?
578
00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:54,166
- That's obscene.
579
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:57,090
They call it a moose knuckle
where I'm from.
580
00:31:57,165 --> 00:31:57,882
- My dear.
581
00:31:57,916 --> 00:31:59,227
- This is
my brother-in-law Kevin.
582
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:00,844
- Thank you, baby.
583
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:04,514
- All he ever wants
to talk about is his podcast.
584
00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:08,014
- You're listening to the
Beat of the Drum podcast.
585
00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:11,142
We'll talk about baseball,
especially Indians baseball.
586
00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:13,269
And please start
leaving comments.
587
00:32:13,348 --> 00:32:15,567
I really want to
start a dialogue here.
588
00:32:15,642 --> 00:32:18,065
- So you guys up to date
on my podcast?
589
00:32:18,145 --> 00:32:20,944
It's really...
really starting to make waves.
590
00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:23,946
It's inspiring
a lot of discussion.
591
00:32:26,236 --> 00:32:28,159
- Hey, I'm sorry
we were so late.
592
00:32:28,238 --> 00:32:31,333
It's like, all these assholes
come out on the very last day
593
00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,581
and the lines were, like,
crazy today, right, babe?
594
00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:34,536
- Yeah!
595
00:32:34,619 --> 00:32:35,871
- And what's the deal with Mom?
596
00:32:35,954 --> 00:32:37,376
Is she not coming?
597
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:39,925
- She said she's sick
or something.
598
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,269
- What do mean
"sick or something"?
599
00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:42,010
What did she say?
600
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,716
- Well, the caretaker
lady called.
601
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,298
- You didn't talk to her?
- No, left a message.
602
00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:50,181
- ls it just me
603
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:52,228
or is it weird celebrating
Christmas here?
604
00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:55,183
- It's fucking so weird.
605
00:32:55,265 --> 00:32:57,017
So. Weird.
606
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:58,818
Look at this room.
607
00:32:58,894 --> 00:33:00,191
- You know, it's not that weird.
608
00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:03,023
It's a really pretty house,
and it's my house.
609
00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:05,825
- Come on, Cody.
It's her house.
610
00:33:05,901 --> 00:33:07,824
What'd you pick out, the remote?
611
00:33:10,155 --> 00:33:12,408
- I just feel like
they should be serving us
612
00:33:12,491 --> 00:33:13,834
tea and crumpets,
613
00:33:13,909 --> 00:33:16,662
or perhaps some
lamprey pie with the Queen.
614
00:33:16,745 --> 00:33:18,338
- Ooh, I could
have some lamprey pie.
615
00:33:18,413 --> 00:33:21,041
Ooh, constable, have you
spotted my dick out?
616
00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:23,422
Yes, please,
I'm looking for my spot of dick.
617
00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:25,102
Oh, ma'am, I think
I saw it in your boot.
618
00:33:25,128 --> 00:33:26,128
- G'd gloore.
619
00:33:26,171 --> 00:33:27,773
- You know, guys,
Sophie's really stressed out
620
00:33:27,797 --> 00:33:30,391
so please don't make fun
of her house during dinner,
621
00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:32,344
okay?
622
00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:34,847
- You could show
a little respect.
623
00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:37,774
- Yes, respect for the Queen.
624
00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:40,978
- Ooh, yes, me Lady.
625
00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:44,110
Ooh, yes you, Lady.
626
00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:48,694
- Sounds like a dog drinking.
627
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:55,242
- What is that, nutmeg?
628
00:33:55,325 --> 00:33:58,955
You can still taste it, huh?
629
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:00,789
It's my secret recipe.
630
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:02,840
The Colonel doesn't
have shit on me.
631
00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:05,236
- Hey, Nick, I was wondering
if maybe you'd like to come by
632
00:34:05,293 --> 00:34:07,967
if you have some free time
and join me for a podcast.
633
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:10,390
I'd love to talk to you
about 10 Cent Beer Night,
634
00:34:10,465 --> 00:34:12,809
everything that happened.
635
00:34:14,594 --> 00:34:15,641
- Maybe later.
636
00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:16,906
- Yeah, I bet you'd like that.
637
00:34:16,930 --> 00:34:17,977
Hey, there he is!
638
00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:19,729
- Can I have one?
639
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:21,310
- Yeah.
Go nuts, kid.
640
00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:23,316
- Well, maybe we should
ask his mom first.
641
00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:26,194
- Nah, relax.
It's Christmas.
642
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,626
- I don't know
anything about this.
643
00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:57,145
- Hey, I'm still waiting
for that picture.
644
00:34:57,220 --> 00:35:00,474
- Yeah, well.
Stupid phone.
645
00:35:03,393 --> 00:35:05,270
How do I turn this
fucking music off?
646
00:35:05,353 --> 00:35:06,821
- My mom wouldn't like that.
647
00:35:06,896 --> 00:35:08,569
- Well, I don't like this.
648
00:35:08,648 --> 00:35:11,026
If I have to hear
"Chestnuts" one more time,
649
00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:13,453
I'm going to roast my
goddamn head in the open fire.
650
00:35:13,528 --> 00:35:15,872
I can't fuckin' take it.
651
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:18,496
What the hell is this?
652
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:21,415
- It's a karaoke machine.
653
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:23,212
- Yeah.
654
00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:25,544
Alright, let's do this.
655
00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:37,011
♪ Oh, come all ye faithful
656
00:35:37,093 --> 00:35:38,595
- No.
- Yes.
657
00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:42,182
♪ Joyful and triumphant
658
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:50,241
♪ O come ye, O come ye
to Bethlehem
659
00:35:50,315 --> 00:35:56,869
♪ Come and behold Him,
for the King of Angels
660
00:35:56,946 --> 00:36:04,171
♪ O come let us adore Him,
O come let us adore Him,
661
00:36:04,245 --> 00:36:12,245
♪ O come let us adore Him,
Christ our Lord.
662
00:36:15,048 --> 00:36:17,722
- Okay, well, dinner's
almost ready.
663
00:36:18,968 --> 00:36:19,968
Oh!
664
00:36:21,221 --> 00:36:22,723
As the game progressed,
665
00:36:22,806 --> 00:36:26,401
the Indians fans
became more and more unruly.
666
00:36:26,476 --> 00:36:27,898
They pelted the grounds crew
667
00:36:27,977 --> 00:36:31,151
with batteries
from their radios,
668
00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:33,696
hot dogs.
669
00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:37,241
Rangers first baseman
Mike Hargrove
670
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,492
was nearly hit in the head
671
00:36:38,571 --> 00:36:41,290
by a half-full bottle
of Thunderbird.
672
00:36:41,366 --> 00:36:43,664
To say the drunken antics
had escalated
673
00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:46,713
was an understatement
of epic proportions.
674
00:36:48,123 --> 00:36:51,297
- I'm never drinking
eggnog again.
675
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:53,187
- Next time you
decide to steal booze,
676
00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:55,430
don't treat it like
it's a bag of potato chips.
677
00:36:55,505 --> 00:36:58,224
Have some goddamned
self-control, Marcus.
678
00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:01,596
- Hey, I wouldn't
use that towel.
679
00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:04,306
Ah, I can't watch.
This is tragic.
680
00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:07,063
- Do you really need to do that?
681
00:37:07,851 --> 00:37:09,478
- No, let's let
the kids get drunk,
682
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:11,247
fall down the stairs,
and crack their skulls open?
683
00:37:11,271 --> 00:37:13,249
- How's that?
- We all know if anyone's taking a header
684
00:37:13,273 --> 00:37:15,126
down the stairs tonight
it's gonna be me, right?
685
00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:17,323
- Yeah, you don't need
to punish everyone.
686
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:18,494
Gown!
687
00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:21,369
- It's just not Christmas
without... joy.
688
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:24,577
- Yeah, the adults
could have enjoyed it.
689
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:34,219
- I remember
how Christmas used to be;
690
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:40,009
the anticipation
of presents to come;
691
00:37:40,717 --> 00:37:42,936
love and warmth
692
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:45,184
and Emily.
693
00:37:48,558 --> 00:37:53,735
I wish I could experience
those feelings one more time.
694
00:37:57,734 --> 00:38:00,533
But instead,
I'm spending Christmas dinner
695
00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:02,580
staring at a picture of my dick.
696
00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:04,657
- Nick, put your phone away.
697
00:38:04,741 --> 00:38:06,368
- Here's the problem.
698
00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:09,421
It says the file is too big.
699
00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:11,749
Yeah, it is.
700
00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:16,720
- So, normally I would lead
the saying of grace
701
00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:20,516
but I think that tonight
that honor should go to Cody
702
00:38:20,590 --> 00:38:23,719
since it's our first family
Christmas together.
703
00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:28,273
- Okay,
I'm a little rusty but...
704
00:38:28,348 --> 00:38:29,941
Bless us, oh Lord,
and these thy gifts,
705
00:38:30,016 --> 00:38:31,689
which we are about to receive,
706
00:38:31,768 --> 00:38:34,146
from thy bounty,
through Christ our Lord.
707
00:38:34,229 --> 00:38:35,822
Amen.
708
00:38:35,897 --> 00:38:37,570
- Amen.
- Amen.
709
00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:39,777
- You're not going to thank
God before this meal?
710
00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:43,079
- God didn't do shit.
Your wife did.
711
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:44,781
So thank you, Sophie.
712
00:38:44,864 --> 00:38:45,911
Thanks for inviting me
713
00:38:45,990 --> 00:38:49,244
and thank you
for preparing this feast.
714
00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:52,547
You are welcome.
715
00:38:52,622 --> 00:38:54,499
Well, everyone, dig in.
716
00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:55,629
- There is no God!
717
00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:57,210
- Jesus Christ, Marcus!
718
00:38:57,293 --> 00:38:58,385
- He's not real, either.
719
00:38:58,461 --> 00:38:59,713
- Marcus!
720
00:38:59,796 --> 00:39:01,969
Don't blaspheme!
721
00:39:02,757 --> 00:39:04,384
- Don't look at me.
722
00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:06,219
- My lack of belief
should be respected
723
00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:08,555
just as much as your
indoctrinated ones.
724
00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:09,981
- That's it!
That's enough!
725
00:39:10,056 --> 00:39:10,852
That's enough for you.
726
00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:13,172
- Starving me isn't going
to make me believe in your God.
727
00:39:13,226 --> 00:39:14,829
- Oh, yeah, you look like
you're starving.
728
00:39:14,853 --> 00:39:16,571
- Just let the kid eat with us.
729
00:39:16,646 --> 00:39:19,024
Marcus, I know what
you're getting at,
730
00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:21,986
but just go with it
for tonight, okay, buddy?
731
00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:25,363
- Mom?
- Fine.
732
00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:28,290
- It's probably just
the booze talking.
733
00:39:28,658 --> 00:39:32,879
- Have you guys heard my
latest episode of my podcast?
734
00:39:32,954 --> 00:39:34,581
- It's a good one.
735
00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:36,792
- What's your podcast about?
736
00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:39,003
- Well, it's called
Beat of the Drum,
737
00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:41,508
and it's about the history
of the Cleveland Indians.
738
00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:45,058
In the new episode,
I interviewed John Adams,
739
00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:46,885
the guy who plays
the drum in the stadium
740
00:39:46,968 --> 00:39:49,062
during Cleveland home games.
741
00:39:49,137 --> 00:39:51,139
And he's a really
interesting guy.
742
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:53,441
He's got stor...
Well, you should listen.
743
00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:55,735
He came into the store.
That's when we met.
744
00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:58,188
He was looking for a DVD player.
745
00:39:58,271 --> 00:39:59,864
I set him straight.
746
00:39:59,939 --> 00:40:02,283
It's on iTunes.
747
00:40:02,358 --> 00:40:04,406
- I don't really follow
baseball, so...
748
00:40:04,485 --> 00:40:06,487
- Well, it's not
really about baseball.
749
00:40:06,571 --> 00:40:10,792
It's more about what a team is,
about loving something,
750
00:40:10,867 --> 00:40:14,041
and being proud
of your hometown.
751
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,340
- Babe, she's not going to
listen to it. It's not...
752
00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:18,462
probably her thing.
753
00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:22,128
You know, Sophie,
754
00:40:22,211 --> 00:40:25,431
I never heard the story
of how you met my brother.
755
00:40:25,506 --> 00:40:27,053
He and I hadn't
talked in a while
756
00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:31,434
and then next thing I know
you two are getting married.
757
00:40:31,512 --> 00:40:32,764
- Well, um.
758
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:35,441
We met him at Vino in Lakewood.
759
00:40:35,516 --> 00:40:36,984
I was with a group of friends
760
00:40:37,060 --> 00:40:40,655
and he recommended me
this amazing cabernet.
761
00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:43,404
- I had a feeling she'd like it.
762
00:40:43,483 --> 00:40:45,076
- I did...
763
00:40:45,151 --> 00:40:46,653
but I liked him more.
764
00:40:50,698 --> 00:40:54,202
- Were you with your
ex-husband when you met?
765
00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:57,376
- Yes.
766
00:41:01,751 --> 00:41:03,711
Well, I haven't really
figured out what my major's
767
00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,833
gonna be yet so I just figured
I'd take a couple more
768
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,349
general studies classes,
see if anything clicks.
769
00:41:08,424 --> 00:41:09,693
- You should be
grateful your parents
770
00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:10,736
are paying for your school.
771
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,228
I had to go out and get a job.
772
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:14,021
- College is overrated.
773
00:41:14,097 --> 00:41:15,690
Didn't really help
with my career.
774
00:41:15,765 --> 00:41:18,814
- Don't listen to him.
Just go. Trust me.
775
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:19,894
- Michelle's right.
776
00:41:19,978 --> 00:41:23,699
I went to the Baldwin Wallace
conservatory and I loved it.
777
00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:26,492
- Kind of a waste, though.
778
00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:30,196
It's her decision.
779
00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:32,327
If she wants to drop out,
she can.
780
00:41:32,407 --> 00:41:34,034
- Val, what,
you're dropping out?
781
00:41:34,117 --> 00:41:35,744
- No, I mean...
782
00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:38,000
maybe, if my modeling
career takes off.
783
00:41:38,079 --> 00:41:41,333
And if I drop out, I'll actually
have time to go on auditions.
784
00:41:41,416 --> 00:41:42,918
- She's really good, babe.
785
00:41:43,001 --> 00:41:45,129
You saw the pics
for the website.
786
00:41:45,211 --> 00:41:47,634
She's a natural.
787
00:41:50,174 --> 00:41:53,018
- We will talk about this later.
788
00:41:56,973 --> 00:42:00,318
- I would advise that nobody go
into that upstairs bathroom
789
00:42:00,393 --> 00:42:02,441
for at least an hour.
790
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:03,737
- I'll go light a candle.
791
00:42:03,813 --> 00:42:05,611
- Thank you.
792
00:42:08,568 --> 00:42:11,572
- Wow, I should have brought
sweatpants over here.
793
00:42:11,654 --> 00:42:13,247
Ugh.
794
00:42:13,322 --> 00:42:16,747
- Michelle, how's your, uh, job?
795
00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:17,702
At the store?
796
00:42:17,785 --> 00:42:20,880
The, uh... the...
797
00:42:20,955 --> 00:42:23,253
- Well, it's retail
so it's horrible.
798
00:42:23,332 --> 00:42:23,924
- Oh.
799
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:25,960
- But we get an
employee discount...
800
00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:27,762
so that's something.
801
00:42:27,837 --> 00:42:30,886
- Yeah, our DVD collection
is like... boom!
802
00:42:32,592 --> 00:42:36,313
- Are you really dropping
out of college?
803
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:39,015
- We got, like, two walls.
804
00:42:39,098 --> 00:42:41,601
One is Blu-ray...
805
00:42:41,684 --> 00:42:42,810
- I don't know.
806
00:42:42,894 --> 00:42:44,111
I mean, what's the big deal?
807
00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:47,441
It's not like Cody
graduated college.
808
00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:49,742
- I raised you
in this big house.
809
00:42:49,817 --> 00:42:51,285
I helped you do your homework.
810
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:52,782
What have I done wrong here?
811
00:42:52,862 --> 00:42:56,583
- I think Dad
has a pretty good list.
812
00:42:56,824 --> 00:42:59,452
- Don't ruin Christmas.
813
00:42:59,535 --> 00:43:01,128
- I hate it here.
814
00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:05,129
This is all just
some big fake show,
815
00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:07,256
and I don't even remember
the last time we used
816
00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:08,757
these stupid dishes.
817
00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:10,634
- These are Crate and Barrel.
818
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:12,274
They don't make better
dishes then these.
819
00:43:12,298 --> 00:43:14,676
Trust me on that,
little princess.
820
00:43:14,759 --> 00:43:18,138
- You know, it's not what
you think it is around here,
821
00:43:18,221 --> 00:43:20,895
and I really want
you to know that.
822
00:43:20,973 --> 00:43:23,226
Nobody's happy.-
823
00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:26,654
Merry Christmas, Mom.
824
00:43:27,438 --> 00:43:28,564
- Nick, I forgot to mention,
825
00:43:28,648 --> 00:43:30,946
we're getting a new bed
delivered next week.
826
00:43:31,025 --> 00:43:32,823
You should take the old one.
827
00:43:32,902 --> 00:43:34,028
- Nah, I'm good.
828
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,705
- Oh, we insist.
829
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:37,532
- If Nick doesn't want it,
830
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:39,617
we'll take it
because our bed is terrible.
831
00:43:39,700 --> 00:43:41,543
I get jabbed with
springs every night.
832
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:43,139
- No, Nick should take it.
He needs it.
833
00:43:43,204 --> 00:43:45,377
You know, get rid of
that old thing in there...
834
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:47,049
especially after what happened.
835
00:43:47,125 --> 00:43:50,880
- I don't need a bed
because I don't sleep on one.
836
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:53,556
- Where do you sleep?
837
00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:55,053
- On the couch.
838
00:43:55,133 --> 00:43:56,385
- Is it more comfortable?
839
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:59,061
- That cannot be good
for your back.
840
00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:02,482
- I haven't slept in a bed
in eight years.
841
00:44:02,557 --> 00:44:04,651
Has it really been that long?
842
00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:06,853
- Why did you stop?
843
00:44:08,604 --> 00:44:13,576
- I was seeing this girl, Emily,
844
00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:17,326
and it was the first time
I'd been serious
845
00:44:17,405 --> 00:44:20,249
with a girl in a while.
846
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:24,124
I was so busy with work
and taking care of Mom,
847
00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:27,707
I just didn't have time
for a girlfriend.
848
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:30,885
I meet Emily, things are great.
849
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,758
It's Christmas Eve,
850
00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:35,090
and she comes over
851
00:44:35,173 --> 00:44:37,767
and she decides
to spend the night...
852
00:44:37,842 --> 00:44:39,435
- I have to go to the bathroom.
853
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,353
- It may still smell
horrible up there.
854
00:44:41,429 --> 00:44:44,399
- I don't care.
I can't hear this right now.
855
00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:52,448
- She died.
856
00:44:52,648 --> 00:44:57,154
Emily had an aneurism
in her sleep.
857
00:44:57,236 --> 00:44:59,830
She never knew what hit her.
858
00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:02,375
And I didn't know.
859
00:45:02,450 --> 00:45:06,580
I had to wake up in the morning
and she's so cold.
860
00:45:06,662 --> 00:45:10,007
So I hold her tight,
try to warm her up.
861
00:45:10,082 --> 00:45:12,460
- Maybe we shouldn't
be talking about this...
862
00:45:12,543 --> 00:45:13,840
- It's okay.
863
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,800
I started,
so might as well finish.
864
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:22,308
And that's when
I finally realized
865
00:45:22,386 --> 00:45:26,641
something was wrong when she...
866
00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:29,568
evacuated her bowels...
867
00:45:29,644 --> 00:45:32,363
or whatever the medical term is.
868
00:45:33,731 --> 00:45:36,655
That's when I discovered
869
00:45:36,734 --> 00:45:39,658
something horrible had happened.
870
00:45:39,737 --> 00:45:41,910
- That's so sad.
871
00:45:43,199 --> 00:45:45,327
- I still think you should
take the bed, though.
872
00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:47,878
It would probably help.
873
00:45:58,506 --> 00:46:04,980
- Well, I hope you've all
saved room for dessert.
874
00:46:07,348 --> 00:46:11,319
- By the sixth inning
everyone was good and drunk.
875
00:46:16,482 --> 00:46:18,075
Many fathers had soon realized
876
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:20,152
that as soon as the
innings had passed,
877
00:46:20,236 --> 00:46:23,035
the risk to their
loved ones grew.
878
00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:25,116
It was time to go.
879
00:46:26,033 --> 00:46:29,128
They didn't want to see
what happened next.
880
00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:34,717
The troublemakers
didn't go anywhere.
881
00:46:35,876 --> 00:46:37,219
They stayed,
882
00:46:37,295 --> 00:46:39,889
ready to see this
through to the end.
883
00:46:42,216 --> 00:46:45,561
- I rarely tell this story.
884
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:49,516
How will Valerie react?
885
00:46:49,932 --> 00:46:53,732
If she comes through that door,
she's mine.
886
00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:57,782
Just sit here
and wait until she does.
887
00:47:07,575 --> 00:47:10,203
She won't say a word.
888
00:47:10,286 --> 00:47:12,414
Neither will I.
889
00:47:12,496 --> 00:47:15,466
And it will be perfect.
890
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:30,097
- Nick?
891
00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:34,273
Are you okay?
892
00:47:34,352 --> 00:47:36,275
- Yeah.
893
00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:38,402
I'm fine.
894
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,867
- Cody mentioned once
that you had a girlfriend
895
00:47:40,941 --> 00:47:42,318
who passed away
896
00:47:42,401 --> 00:47:45,280
but I didn't know the
whole story, obviously.
897
00:47:45,363 --> 00:47:48,867
- Yeah.
Now you do.
898
00:47:48,949 --> 00:47:52,249
- I'm sorry that happened.
899
00:47:52,953 --> 00:47:55,797
The offer still stands,
about the bed,
900
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:57,295
you know, if you want it.
901
00:47:57,375 --> 00:47:59,377
- Alright.
902
00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:02,339
Yeah, I think I'm okay.
903
00:48:03,089 --> 00:48:06,514
- We're going to start
White Elephant soon.
904
00:48:06,592 --> 00:48:08,560
That will be fun.
905
00:48:09,887 --> 00:48:11,480
- Ha.
906
00:48:11,555 --> 00:48:13,148
- Here's how the
Wilkins family version
907
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:15,101
of White Elephant works.
908
00:48:15,184 --> 00:48:16,811
You start with a pile of gifts.
909
00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:19,864
Simple, cheap stuff.
Nothing expensive.
910
00:48:19,939 --> 00:48:21,657
If you roll a seven or eleven,
911
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:24,030
you get to take one of
the presents from the pile.
912
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:25,783
Shaking is permitted.
913
00:48:25,861 --> 00:48:26,987
You go around the room
914
00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:29,324
until every present
is off the table.
915
00:48:29,407 --> 00:48:31,956
Round two is when
things get ugly.
916
00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:34,002
You set a timer for ten minutes.
917
00:48:34,078 --> 00:48:35,671
If you roll a seven or eleven,
918
00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:38,374
you get to take a present
from someone else's pile.
919
00:48:38,457 --> 00:48:42,007
Air horns
add tension to sudden death.
920
00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:44,054
Michelle and I
used to gang up on Cody
921
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:46,178
and take everything
he had in round two
922
00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:49,181
because, well, fuck him.
923
00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:52,355
When the timer rings,
the game's over.
924
00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:54,728
And that's how you play
White Elephant.
925
00:48:54,807 --> 00:48:57,401
White Elephant
is a horrible game.
926
00:48:57,476 --> 00:48:59,729
It's all about jealousy
and greed.
927
00:48:59,812 --> 00:49:02,235
Feelings get hurt.
928
00:49:02,314 --> 00:49:05,318
You know, which kinda makes
it perfect for Christmas.
929
00:49:05,401 --> 00:49:07,950
- Okay, so, before
the game starts, guys,
930
00:49:08,028 --> 00:49:10,201
I'd like to make
a small announcement.
931
00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:12,875
Um, inside one of those boxes
932
00:49:12,950 --> 00:49:15,669
is a brand new iPad!
933
00:49:15,744 --> 00:49:17,872
- Aw, yeah!
934
00:49:17,955 --> 00:49:18,751
- Whoa, wait a minute,
935
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:20,069
we didn't buy
anything that nice.
936
00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:21,797
Did you change the rules
on us this year?
937
00:49:21,876 --> 00:49:23,103
- I thought the whole point
of White Elephant
938
00:49:23,127 --> 00:49:25,971
was that you're supposed
to get small gifts.
939
00:49:26,046 --> 00:49:27,548
- I just...
940
00:49:27,631 --> 00:49:29,975
I thought that it
might be more fun
941
00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:31,723
if there was something
that we all want?
942
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:33,054
- I know I want it.
943
00:49:33,137 --> 00:49:35,811
- It just seems like
we would have gotten...
944
00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:38,018
I feel like maybe we
should have done more.
945
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:40,603
- Oh, what the hell.
Let's do it.
946
00:49:40,686 --> 00:49:41,733
- Okay?
947
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,485
Okay!
948
00:49:43,564 --> 00:49:44,736
And! And!
949
00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:47,034
I had the maid wrap the gifts
950
00:49:47,109 --> 00:49:49,157
so even I don't know
which one it is.
951
00:49:49,236 --> 00:49:51,034
- Well, if Cody
wrapped the gifts
952
00:49:51,113 --> 00:49:53,491
then he's disqualified, right?
953
00:49:53,574 --> 00:49:55,918
" Oh!
954
00:49:55,993 --> 00:49:57,461
N'
955
00:49:57,536 --> 00:49:59,630
- That means that you're
the maid, dum-dum!
956
00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:03,175
- I feel good!
957
00:50:04,168 --> 00:50:06,842
Yes!
IPad, you're mine.
958
00:50:06,921 --> 00:50:08,389
Green one.
959
00:50:09,757 --> 00:50:11,384
- Booyah!
960
00:50:14,595 --> 00:50:16,268
- Aw, Big Eight!
961
00:50:16,347 --> 00:50:17,690
- Tough break, bro.
962
00:50:17,765 --> 00:50:20,234
- Big bucks,
big bucks, no Whammy...
963
00:50:20,309 --> 00:50:22,562
- Yeah!
- This is bullshit.
964
00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:27,904
- Remind me to never go to
a casino with you people, huh?
965
00:50:27,983 --> 00:50:28,859
- Suck on that.
966
00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:30,570
- Yeah.
967
00:50:32,488 --> 00:50:34,616
' Yea!
968
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:36,291
I'll take...
I'll take any gift.
969
00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:37,664
Any one of 'em.
970
00:50:37,743 --> 00:50:40,337
- Oh, I got a good
feelin' about that.
971
00:50:40,412 --> 00:50:43,131
I don't even have to do it,
I know it' s gonna...
972
00:50:43,207 --> 00:50:44,800
and suck it!
973
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:48,505
Fuck yeah!
974
00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:50,305
Who's the man?
975
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:51,803
I run this shit!
976
00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:53,304
You just live here!
977
00:50:54,677 --> 00:50:56,270
You see how hot these dice are?
978
00:50:56,345 --> 00:50:58,814
I'm getting third degree
burns over here.
979
00:50:58,889 --> 00:51:01,893
- No, no...
Oh my God!
980
00:51:01,976 --> 00:51:05,105
- Yep, that's right.
Gimme a gift, Gifty.
981
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:07,360
- Fuck yeah!
982
00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:08,941
- Is that really necessary?
983
00:51:09,024 --> 00:51:11,152
- I am the winning robot...
984
00:51:11,235 --> 00:51:12,987
Cannot compute...
985
00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:15,573
Level of awesomeness...
986
00:51:15,656 --> 00:51:17,704
Circuits failing...
987
00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:20,745
- Watch out now, Nick.
988
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:22,796
There's still sudden death.
989
00:51:22,871 --> 00:51:24,043
- Right.
990
00:51:24,123 --> 00:51:26,091
Good luck with that.
991
00:51:27,751 --> 00:51:31,756
- Okay, guys,
we are ready for round two.
992
00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:33,216
- Whoo!
993
00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,772
' Yea!
994
00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:45,231
- Whoo!
995
00:51:46,478 --> 00:51:47,775
Thank you.
996
00:51:47,855 --> 00:51:49,698
- Lucky bitch.
997
00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:55,363
- Alright, Uncle Nick.
998
00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:57,699
- Give me the biggest one.
999
00:52:01,994 --> 00:52:03,054
- That's what happens
1000
00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:06,207
when I get a glimmer
of hope in my life,
1001
00:52:06,290 --> 00:52:08,839
my stupid brother
ruins everything.
1002
00:52:08,917 --> 00:52:10,760
- Thank you, sir.
1003
00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:13,305
- Fuck you, sir.
1004
00:52:14,173 --> 00:52:15,425
- Alright, you guys-
1005
00:52:15,507 --> 00:52:17,475
iPad, this is it.
1006
00:52:19,428 --> 00:52:21,430
- Matches...
1007
00:52:21,513 --> 00:52:24,312
- Aw, a tea set.
1008
00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:26,359
- I like this...
if you wanna...
1009
00:52:26,435 --> 00:52:31,111
- I'm guessing that these
are from you, Nick.
1010
00:52:31,190 --> 00:52:32,066
- Yep-
1011
00:52:32,149 --> 00:52:35,153
Looks like you're the
real winner here, huh?
1012
00:52:37,946 --> 00:52:39,914
- Look what I got.
1013
00:52:40,699 --> 00:52:44,124
Yes, yes, yes!
In your stupid face!
1014
00:52:44,203 --> 00:52:45,203
Gimme some love!
Yes!
1015
00:52:45,245 --> 00:52:46,371
Gimme some love!
1016
00:52:46,455 --> 00:52:48,298
You gonna leave me hangin', bro?
1017
00:52:48,374 --> 00:52:49,125
- Yep-
1018
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:50,166
- Aw, come on.
1019
00:52:50,209 --> 00:52:51,631
Michelle,
will give me some love.
1020
00:52:51,710 --> 00:52:54,179
Kev, will give me some love.
1021
00:52:54,838 --> 00:52:57,466
You know, Nick,
nobody likes a sore loser.
1022
00:52:57,549 --> 00:53:00,018
- You're right.
So take your iPad, Cody.
1023
00:53:00,094 --> 00:53:01,446
Take it like you've taken
everything that's ever been
1024
00:53:01,470 --> 00:53:04,314
given to you your
entire fucking life.
1025
00:53:04,390 --> 00:53:05,858
- I've worked plenty.
1026
00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:08,902
Pouring wine is not work.
1027
00:53:08,977 --> 00:53:11,526
- Oh, and bossin' around a bunch
of Mexicans, that's work?
1028
00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:12,697
- Puerto Ricans.
1029
00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:14,741
- Whatever.
Like you work hard.
1030
00:53:14,817 --> 00:53:16,865
- Work is taking over
the family business.
1031
00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:18,546
- Hey, nobody asked you
to take over, Nick.
1032
00:53:18,570 --> 00:53:19,992
- You're right.
1033
00:53:20,072 --> 00:53:22,166
Nobody did ask me to take over.
1034
00:53:22,241 --> 00:53:23,788
I had no fucking choice.
1035
00:53:23,867 --> 00:53:26,416
I had to pay for your
failed college education
1036
00:53:26,495 --> 00:53:28,247
because Dad died.
1037
00:53:28,330 --> 00:53:30,048
One other thing:
1038
00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:32,252
when are you going
to start kicking in
1039
00:53:32,334 --> 00:53:34,007
on the nursing home bill?
1040
00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:36,009
I don't think it's fair
that I have to scrape by
1041
00:53:36,088 --> 00:53:38,182
to support my mom alone.
1042
00:53:38,257 --> 00:53:39,509
You're married to Cody now
1043
00:53:39,591 --> 00:53:41,844
so I think that you should
share some of the burden.
1044
00:53:41,927 --> 00:53:44,146
- I don't think that this
is an appropriate time
1045
00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:45,939
to discuss this.
1046
00:53:46,014 --> 00:53:47,106
- When is it appropriate?
1047
00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:48,742
Can we put that on
the fucking calendar?
1048
00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:50,106
Can you pencil me in?
1049
00:53:52,438 --> 00:53:53,581
- Leave her out of this, Nick.
1050
00:53:53,605 --> 00:53:55,699
- Fuck yourself, pretty boy.
1051
00:53:55,774 --> 00:53:57,447
- Do we need to take
this outside, Nick?
1052
00:53:57,526 --> 00:53:59,528
- Look at me.
Look at me. Calm down.
1053
00:53:59,611 --> 00:54:01,705
- Cody, knock it off.
You're not helping.
1054
00:54:01,780 --> 00:54:04,533
- Yeah, well, I will not be
disrespected in my house!
1055
00:54:04,616 --> 00:54:06,334
- "In my house!"
Do you hear that shit?
1056
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:07,753
Unbelievable.
1057
00:54:07,828 --> 00:54:09,705
- Okay, knock it off.
Come on, come with me.
1058
00:54:09,788 --> 00:54:10,584
Come on.
1059
00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:12,883
- Fuck you, Cody.
Fuck you and your tannins.
1060
00:54:12,958 --> 00:54:14,801
- Yeah, well, fuck you, Nick.
1061
00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:17,005
- Eat all the dicks, buddy.
All of 'em.
1062
00:54:21,759 --> 00:54:23,932
- Here, drink this.
1063
00:54:24,011 --> 00:54:25,979
- Fuck that.
1064
00:54:26,972 --> 00:54:28,440
- That was real mature, Nick.
1065
00:54:28,515 --> 00:54:30,893
God, I hate it
when you're like this.
1066
00:54:30,976 --> 00:54:32,398
- Yeah, well, I hate Cody.
1067
00:54:32,478 --> 00:54:34,731
- Well, Cody didn't
ruin your life.
1068
00:54:34,813 --> 00:54:36,736
Now you're taking his side?
1069
00:54:36,815 --> 00:54:38,738
- No, Jesus, of course not.
1070
00:54:38,817 --> 00:54:40,569
It's just...
1071
00:54:40,652 --> 00:54:42,547
if you're so unhappy running
the landscaping company,
1072
00:54:42,571 --> 00:54:44,790
why don't you just sell it?
1073
00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,708
- To who?
1074
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:48,786
- I don't know.
Somebody.
1075
00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:50,712
- And do what?
1076
00:54:50,788 --> 00:54:52,540
I'm too old to start over.
1077
00:54:52,623 --> 00:54:54,296
And who's going
to take care of Mom?
1078
00:54:54,374 --> 00:54:56,092
- You know I would
help you out if I could.
1079
00:54:56,168 --> 00:54:57,168
- I know.
1080
00:54:57,211 --> 00:54:59,009
- You've seen my husband.
1081
00:54:59,087 --> 00:55:00,464
You've heard his podcast.
1082
00:55:00,547 --> 00:55:01,389
- No, I haven't.
1083
00:55:01,465 --> 00:55:04,264
I won't listen
to that fuckin' thing.
1084
00:55:04,343 --> 00:55:06,721
- Not a chance.
- Me neither.
1085
00:55:07,346 --> 00:55:08,973
- Listen, it's just...
It's Christmas.
1086
00:55:09,056 --> 00:55:11,400
Let's go relax
and enjoy ourself, okay?
1087
00:55:11,475 --> 00:55:12,601
Fuck everybody else.
1088
00:55:12,684 --> 00:55:14,277
- Alright.
1089
00:55:14,353 --> 00:55:17,027
- I can't believe
that I'm about to ask her this.
1090
00:55:17,105 --> 00:55:20,951
- Hey, do you think
I have a shot with Valerie?
1091
00:55:21,026 --> 00:55:23,370
I mean, you're a girl,
you know that kind of shit.
1092
00:55:23,445 --> 00:55:24,788
- Dude!
1093
00:55:24,863 --> 00:55:26,115
Wake up!
1094
00:55:26,198 --> 00:55:28,917
Valerie's a fucking kid!
1095
00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:30,164
- She's twenty,
1096
00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:32,555
and she's been giving me
the signs all night to round third...
1097
00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:34,957
- Oh, she's twenty.
1098
00:55:35,290 --> 00:55:37,418
Dude.
1099
00:55:42,631 --> 00:55:44,133
Oh my God, is that your dick?!
1100
00:55:44,216 --> 00:55:45,843
Why the fuck
would you show me that?!
1101
00:55:45,926 --> 00:55:47,269
Jesus!
1102
00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:48,641
- Whoops.
1103
00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:52,270
No, this.
1104
00:55:52,391 --> 00:55:54,485
- She says she loves
to suck cock.
1105
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:57,188
- Oh my God, what is
fucking wrong with you?
1106
00:55:57,271 --> 00:55:59,740
Jesus!
1107
00:55:59,982 --> 00:56:01,575
- You're gonna keep
this on the D-L?
1108
00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:03,869
- Dude, you need
to sober the fuck up
1109
00:56:03,944 --> 00:56:06,038
before you do something
stupid that you'll regret.
1110
00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:06,955
Hey!
1111
00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:10,580
Jesus fucking Christ.
1112
00:56:38,937 --> 00:56:41,065
- Where we going?
1113
00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:44,409
- I was just going
to drive around.
1114
00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:48,785
- Um...
You don't need another DUI.
1115
00:56:50,616 --> 00:56:53,290
- You're right.
1116
00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:57,623
I just can't
be in there anymore.
1117
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:05,047
Might as well get
comfortable, huh?
1118
00:57:21,271 --> 00:57:23,899
- Jesus.
1119
00:57:24,483 --> 00:57:28,158
- You know I'm still waiting
for a picture, right?
1120
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:33,876
- Yeah,
you don't want to see that.
1121
00:57:33,951 --> 00:57:37,922
- How do you expect to get
something in return?
1122
00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:44,044
- Could just
whip it out right here,
1123
00:57:44,127 --> 00:57:46,926
save us both the trouble, huh?
1124
00:57:49,049 --> 00:57:51,097
- Alright.
1125
00:57:51,176 --> 00:57:53,395
Do it.
1126
00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,890
- Yeah?
1127
00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,479
Is that what you want?
1128
00:57:58,558 --> 00:58:00,526
- Yeah.
1129
00:58:00,602 --> 00:58:03,355
Whip it out.
1130
00:58:17,202 --> 00:58:19,455
Nah...
1131
00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:22,212
It's cold.
1132
00:58:28,088 --> 00:58:31,513
- This is what you want, right?
1133
00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:35,475
You've been thinking about
this all day, haven't you?
1134
00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:38,940
- Thinking about what?
1135
00:58:47,024 --> 00:58:49,573
- Getting me alone.
1136
00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:52,905
Having your way with me.
1137
00:58:52,988 --> 00:58:55,958
You have, haven't you?
1138
00:58:56,616 --> 00:59:00,211
- The thought has
crossed my mind.
1139
00:59:00,287 --> 00:59:04,292
- Is this what you want?
1140
00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:09,346
What do you want to do to me,
Uncle Nick?
1141
00:59:13,133 --> 00:59:14,385
- Get off.
1142
00:59:14,468 --> 00:59:15,264
- What?
1143
00:59:15,302 --> 00:59:17,225
- Get off. Get off.
1144
00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:23,231
- Why?
1145
00:59:23,310 --> 00:59:26,905
- Valerie, I can't,
I just can't.
1146
00:59:26,980 --> 00:59:29,449
- Are you fucking serious?
1147
00:59:32,736 --> 00:59:35,410
I'm sorry. I...
1148
00:59:35,489 --> 00:59:38,789
It's wrong.
We shouldn't be doing this.
1149
00:59:42,704 --> 00:59:45,924
Well, it's your loss.
1150
00:59:45,999 --> 00:59:49,754
I was just drunk enough
to actually say, "Fuck it."
1151
00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:53,590
- I know.
1152
00:59:55,050 --> 00:59:57,052
I know.
1153
01:00:09,898 --> 01:00:11,366
Fuck.
1154
01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:19,162
- Local legend
John Adams sat in the bleachers
1155
01:00:19,241 --> 01:00:21,289
and hit his base drum
as he always did
1156
01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:24,121
when the Indians
were in need of a rally.
1157
01:00:24,204 --> 01:00:27,128
They were down and the
game was slipping away.
1158
01:01:13,587 --> 01:01:15,806
- Fuck it.
1159
01:01:22,762 --> 01:01:24,014
- Hello?
1160
01:01:24,097 --> 01:01:27,442
Who found them?
1161
01:01:28,268 --> 01:01:29,861
Hello? Nick?
1162
01:01:29,936 --> 01:01:32,530
- It's all fucked, Luis,
it's all fucked.
1163
01:01:32,606 --> 01:01:34,984
- I don't understand.
What do you mean?
1164
01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:36,443
- I just...
1165
01:01:36,526 --> 01:01:39,871
When is it going to be my time?
1166
01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:42,415
- Nick, I have to go.
1167
01:01:42,490 --> 01:01:44,709
It's Christmas, you know?
1168
01:01:44,784 --> 01:01:47,913
- I know I said that I was
going to get a cab home
1169
01:01:47,996 --> 01:01:52,923
but I really need you
to come get me.
1170
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:55,554
I need to see a familiar face.
1171
01:01:55,629 --> 01:01:57,848
- Hey, I'm not a
taxi service, okay?
1172
01:01:57,923 --> 01:02:00,893
You don't have any
respect for me, man.
1173
01:02:00,967 --> 01:02:02,389
- You're my Number One Guy...
1174
01:02:02,469 --> 01:02:05,268
- You're a drunk!
1175
01:02:05,347 --> 01:02:09,227
And I'm sick and tired
of taking care of you...
1176
01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:11,403
- What are you talking about?
1177
01:02:11,478 --> 01:02:14,197
- You are the worst boss
I've ever had.
1178
01:02:14,272 --> 01:02:16,115
I don't care if I have to stand
1179
01:02:16,191 --> 01:02:20,287
in front of a Home Depot
for the rest of my life.
1180
01:02:20,362 --> 01:02:23,536
I quit! Punta!
1181
01:02:26,660 --> 01:02:29,630
What have l...?
1182
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,262
- No, we shouldn't.
1183
01:02:45,345 --> 01:02:46,688
- Yes, we should.
1184
01:02:47,222 --> 01:02:49,975
- Okay, wait...
No, no, no.
1185
01:02:50,058 --> 01:02:51,810
- I really want
you to get your nose...
1186
01:02:51,893 --> 01:02:52,519
- I mean,
1187
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:54,688
I don't know how much further
I can get it in there.
1188
01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,274
♪ All is calm
1189
01:02:57,357 --> 01:03:02,739
♪ All is bright...
1190
01:03:03,196 --> 01:03:04,618
- What is "Do Not Disturb"?
1191
01:03:06,700 --> 01:03:07,326
- Swirl it.
1192
01:03:07,367 --> 01:03:09,711
- Oh, so it's quiet.
- It's on Quiet mode.
1193
01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:11,754
- So what if we want noise?
1194
01:03:11,830 --> 01:03:13,673
What noises does it make?
1195
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:16,885
Hey, hey, that's Mommy's juice!
1196
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:18,132
What's this?
1197
01:03:18,211 --> 01:03:21,636
- This is Timmy's
Kindergarten Adventure.
1198
01:03:24,301 --> 01:03:27,396
- I have never
really tasted wine before.
1199
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:29,814
- I have really never
tasted it before either.
1200
01:03:29,889 --> 01:03:31,049
And I can't taste it anymore.
1201
01:03:31,099 --> 01:03:32,726
- This is it, right?
1202
01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:40,742
- One, two, three.
- Two, three.
1203
01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:48,659
That was really terrible.
Did you hear my burp?
1204
01:03:48,742 --> 01:03:49,742
- No.
1205
01:03:50,535 --> 01:03:54,381
♪ ...Holy night
1206
01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:59,087
♪ All is calm
1207
01:03:59,169 --> 01:04:02,343
♪ All is bright
1208
01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:08,678
- Oh Jesus.
1209
01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:11,681
You feel so fucking good.
1210
01:04:11,765 --> 01:04:12,482
- Am I tight?
1211
01:04:12,515 --> 01:04:14,358
- Oh, you're so fucking tight.
1212
01:04:14,434 --> 01:04:17,984
Oh, Jesus Christ,
you feel so good.
1213
01:04:24,235 --> 01:04:32,235
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace
1214
01:04:38,625 --> 01:04:40,377
- By the end of the 8th inning,
1215
01:04:40,460 --> 01:04:44,010
things turned real ugly.
1216
01:04:44,172 --> 01:04:46,220
The Indians were down two runs
1217
01:04:46,299 --> 01:04:47,767
and were only three outs away
1218
01:04:47,842 --> 01:04:50,561
from ending one of the
most out of control,
1219
01:04:50,637 --> 01:04:53,060
unpredictable games
that America's past-time
1220
01:04:53,139 --> 01:04:56,188
has ever endured.
1221
01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:10,323
- Nick, we thought you had left.
1222
01:05:13,493 --> 01:05:15,587
- Why did you marry my brother?
1223
01:05:15,662 --> 01:05:19,587
- He's my dream husband.
1224
01:05:19,666 --> 01:05:22,044
- C'mon, you're a smart lady.
1225
01:05:22,127 --> 01:05:25,882
You know this isn't real, right?
1226
01:05:25,964 --> 01:05:30,435
Cody's... charming.
1227
01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:33,354
And he makes me feel good.
1228
01:05:33,430 --> 01:05:35,933
- You think he feels
the same way about you?
1229
01:05:36,015 --> 01:05:38,359
- Of course!
He married me.
1230
01:05:38,435 --> 01:05:39,778
- Nah.
1231
01:05:39,853 --> 01:05:41,696
You married him.
1232
01:05:41,771 --> 01:05:44,445
- You think he's after my money.
1233
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,401
- Amongst other things.
1234
01:05:46,484 --> 01:05:48,282
- Mm-hmm.
1235
01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:51,865
So, who should I have married?
1236
01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:53,666
Someone like you?
1237
01:05:53,741 --> 01:05:55,618
- You're not really my type.
1238
01:05:55,702 --> 01:05:57,045
- I'm so sad to hear that.
1239
01:06:04,836 --> 01:06:09,842
Honey,
did you get that Bordeaux?
1240
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:12,139
- Yeah.
I found a mouse, too.
1241
01:06:12,218 --> 01:06:14,812
- Ew! A mouse?
Where?
1242
01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:16,648
- It was in one of those
traps but he's dead.
1243
01:06:16,723 --> 01:06:18,396
Um, it was really gross.
1244
01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:19,827
- Yeah, he's gone now.
He's in the trash.
1245
01:06:19,851 --> 01:06:21,478
Don't worry about it.
1246
01:06:21,561 --> 01:06:24,280
- Sophie might not
know what's going on but I do.
1247
01:06:24,355 --> 01:06:28,701
I could see it all over
their stupid faces.
1248
01:06:31,779 --> 01:06:34,328
They've been texting
back and forth all day,
1249
01:06:34,407 --> 01:06:36,250
planning this.
1250
01:06:37,118 --> 01:06:40,964
That dirty message I saw on
Valerie's phone was from him.
1251
01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:42,624
- Nick!
1252
01:06:42,707 --> 01:06:44,459
Jeez, man,
you almost broke my phone.
1253
01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:46,044
She's really good, babe.
1254
01:06:46,127 --> 01:06:48,380
You saw the pics
for the website.
1255
01:06:48,463 --> 01:06:49,806
- Sexting?
1256
01:06:49,881 --> 01:06:52,475
Yeah, sometimes.
1257
01:06:52,550 --> 01:06:54,143
Can you just come in?
I can't hear you.
1258
01:06:56,095 --> 01:06:58,223
You know, it's not what
you think it is around here.
1259
01:07:01,976 --> 01:07:03,944
- Fuckin' piece of shit.
1260
01:07:04,896 --> 01:07:05,943
- Nick!
1261
01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:09,192
- Fuck!
1262
01:07:15,615 --> 01:07:16,707
- Can I bum a smoke?
1263
01:07:16,783 --> 01:07:19,753
- The after-sex cigarette.
1264
01:07:20,411 --> 01:07:22,038
- Just have mine.
1265
01:07:22,121 --> 01:07:23,964
- Thanks.
1266
01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:29,171
- You seem relaxed.
1267
01:07:29,254 --> 01:07:31,723
- Yeah, I needed that.
- Yeah, I bet you did.
1268
01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:33,800
- It's been a pretty crazy day.
1269
01:07:33,883 --> 01:07:35,885
- You could say that.
1270
01:07:35,969 --> 01:07:37,863
- Are you still upset about
what happened in the car?
1271
01:07:37,887 --> 01:07:38,729
- No.
1272
01:07:38,805 --> 01:07:40,227
- Are you okay?
1273
01:07:40,306 --> 01:07:42,229
- Sure.
1274
01:07:42,308 --> 01:07:44,151
- Look, don't be weird.
1275
01:07:44,227 --> 01:07:45,412
I mean, you can still
send me that picture
1276
01:07:45,436 --> 01:07:47,154
as an early Christmas present.
1277
01:07:55,530 --> 01:07:57,091
- With one out
in the bottom of the ninth,
1278
01:07:57,115 --> 01:07:58,788
the Indians rallied.
1279
01:07:58,866 --> 01:08:00,960
Centerfielder
George Hendrick hit a double
1280
01:08:01,035 --> 01:08:04,255
and scored when pinch hitter
Ed Crosby singled.
1281
01:08:05,415 --> 01:08:07,292
Pinch hitter Rusty Torres
hit a single,
1282
01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:09,673
moving Crosby to second.
1283
01:08:10,378 --> 01:08:13,632
Alan Ashby, the third
pinch hitter in a row,
1284
01:08:13,715 --> 01:08:15,513
delivered another single.
1285
01:08:15,592 --> 01:08:17,469
The bases were loaded.
1286
01:08:23,558 --> 01:08:27,938
The sacrifice fly from third
baseman John Lowenstein
1287
01:08:28,563 --> 01:08:32,238
brought Crosby home
to tie the game five to five.
1288
01:08:33,401 --> 01:08:34,653
On second base,
1289
01:08:34,736 --> 01:08:38,081
Rusty Torres represented
the winning run.
1290
01:08:38,156 --> 01:08:40,909
Victory was in
the Indians' grasp.
1291
01:08:50,501 --> 01:08:52,503
- We should hit the road
pretty soon.
1292
01:08:52,587 --> 01:08:55,386
- Yeah, Nick, you want
to split a cab with us?
1293
01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:57,058
- Nah.
1294
01:08:57,133 --> 01:08:59,807
I do have a question
for you two.
1295
01:08:59,886 --> 01:09:01,513
You both work
in electronics, right?
1296
01:09:01,596 --> 01:09:02,518
You know this shit.
1297
01:09:02,597 --> 01:09:03,598
- What's up?
1298
01:09:03,681 --> 01:09:06,685
- Hypothetically speaking,
just hypothetical,
1299
01:09:06,768 --> 01:09:10,739
let's say that I recorded some
footage on my phone here
1300
01:09:10,813 --> 01:09:12,690
that's X-rated in nature.
1301
01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:13,991
- Gross!
1302
01:09:14,067 --> 01:09:17,037
- I said, hypothetically.
- Still, gross.
1303
01:09:17,111 --> 01:09:21,867
- So, it's this girl
and this older guy
1304
01:09:21,949 --> 01:09:25,123
and they're doin' it in the
basement, dog-style, right?
1305
01:09:25,203 --> 01:09:28,207
- Nick, no one
wants to hear this.
1306
01:09:28,289 --> 01:09:30,508
- So, it's nasty, right?
1307
01:09:30,583 --> 01:09:31,300
- 'K.
1308
01:09:31,334 --> 01:09:33,382
- Language is super-dirty
1309
01:09:33,461 --> 01:09:37,887
and it's just about how
great her lady-parts are,
1310
01:09:37,965 --> 01:09:40,184
and how tight she is.
1311
01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:42,946
- Yeah, I think "tight" is the word that was used.
- Nick, shut your mouth, man.
1312
01:09:42,970 --> 01:09:46,144
- Anyway, there's got
to be some way for me
1313
01:09:46,224 --> 01:09:49,854
to email it to everybody
in my address book, right?
1314
01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:51,816
- Well, you might want
to go on your computer...
1315
01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:52,946
- Jesus!
1316
01:09:53,022 --> 01:09:55,241
- Honey!
- What the hell is wrong with you?
1317
01:09:55,316 --> 01:09:58,286
- Cody, stop it!
1318
01:10:06,869 --> 01:10:09,213
- What's going on?
1319
01:10:09,956 --> 01:10:11,754
- She started it.
1320
01:10:12,166 --> 01:10:14,168
- Holy shit.
1321
01:10:14,919 --> 01:10:16,546
- Oh my God.
1322
01:10:16,629 --> 01:10:19,098
- No, no, no. I'm sorry.
Listen, I can explain.
1323
01:10:19,173 --> 01:10:20,015
Listen.
1324
01:10:20,091 --> 01:10:21,610
- No, no, let's not blow this out of proportion.
- Oh my God.
1325
01:10:21,634 --> 01:10:23,352
No, no, no, no.
Relax, Sophie.
1326
01:10:23,428 --> 01:10:28,400
- I left my husband for you.
- Sophie, listen. Soph...
1327
01:10:31,185 --> 01:10:35,941
- I said it was hypothetical.
1328
01:10:36,023 --> 01:10:39,027
I don't have any footage.
1329
01:10:39,819 --> 01:10:43,949
I presented it as
a hypothetical situation.
1330
01:10:44,031 --> 01:10:47,456
I said the word like,
five times now.
1331
01:10:47,535 --> 01:10:48,535
Right?
1332
01:10:48,578 --> 01:10:50,956
So you guys are my witnesses.
1333
01:10:51,038 --> 01:10:54,838
You owe me a phone,
little brother.
1334
01:10:55,543 --> 01:10:59,343
- You son of a bitch.
I'm gonna kill you.
1335
01:11:03,634 --> 01:11:07,138
- And that's
when all hell broke loose.
1336
01:11:08,806 --> 01:11:11,025
- At which
point fans ran onto the field
1337
01:11:11,100 --> 01:11:12,369
and grabbed for the Texas Ranger
1338
01:11:12,393 --> 01:11:14,066
right outfielder Jeff Burroughs,
1339
01:11:14,145 --> 01:11:16,273
and then the full-scale
riot was on.
1340
01:11:16,355 --> 01:11:17,708
- From the Ranger dugout,
1341
01:11:17,732 --> 01:11:21,032
it looked as if one of their
own had been attacked.
1342
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:24,080
Manager Billy Martin
ted the charge.
1343
01:11:24,155 --> 01:11:27,250
The Rangers ran out of their
dugout armed with bats
1344
01:11:27,325 --> 01:11:29,748
and whatever weapons
they could find.
1345
01:11:29,827 --> 01:11:31,579
The drunken crowd
stormed the field
1346
01:11:31,662 --> 01:11:33,164
with weapons of their own.
1347
01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:35,966
Within seconds, the Rangers
were heavily outnumbered
1348
01:11:36,042 --> 01:11:37,919
and outgunned.
1349
01:11:38,002 --> 01:11:40,972
Indians manager Ken Aspromonte
1350
01:11:41,047 --> 01:11:43,015
ordered his team onto the field,
1351
01:11:43,090 --> 01:11:46,765
not to attack the Rangers,
but their own fans.
1352
01:11:46,844 --> 01:11:48,687
Indians pitcher Tom Hilgendorf
1353
01:11:48,763 --> 01:11:52,063
was hit in the head
with a steel folding chair.
1354
01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:55,441
Ranger Mark Hargrove
was attacked from behind.
1355
01:11:57,271 --> 01:12:00,150
In turn, this future Indian
gave his attacker
1356
01:12:00,233 --> 01:12:02,611
a beating that he'd
never forget.
1357
01:12:03,486 --> 01:12:05,409
It was pure chaos.
1358
01:12:05,488 --> 01:12:07,132
- Both
Ranger manager Billy Martin
1359
01:12:07,156 --> 01:12:08,658
and Indian manager
Ken Aspromonte
1360
01:12:08,741 --> 01:12:10,368
were shaken by the incident.
1361
01:12:10,451 --> 01:12:13,375
In all their years in baseball
they had never encountered
1362
01:12:13,454 --> 01:12:14,956
such a frightening experience.
1363
01:12:15,039 --> 01:12:16,308
When a large hunting knife
1364
01:12:16,332 --> 01:12:19,586
landed at umpire
Nestor Chylak's feet,
1365
01:12:19,669 --> 01:12:22,639
a forfeit.
1366
01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:26,642
The Rangers were
declared the winners
1367
01:12:26,717 --> 01:12:28,719
but that was merely a formality.
1368
01:12:28,803 --> 01:12:31,226
It was time to make
a break for it.
1369
01:12:31,305 --> 01:12:34,900
Together the Indians and the
Rangers ran from the field.
1370
01:12:34,976 --> 01:12:37,229
They headed for
the stadium's tunnels,
1371
01:12:37,311 --> 01:12:41,236
away from the rioters
before someone would get killed.
1372
01:12:41,315 --> 01:12:43,363
Bases were stolen;
1373
01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:46,912
seats were trashed,
ripped from the concrete.
1374
01:12:46,988 --> 01:12:48,035
It took twenty minutes
1375
01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:50,367
for the Cleveland police
department's riot squad
1376
01:12:50,449 --> 01:12:52,543
to show up on the scene.
1377
01:13:00,835 --> 01:13:02,929
But there was some good
to come out of that violent,
1378
01:13:03,004 --> 01:13:05,427
alcohol-soaked evening.
1379
01:13:05,506 --> 01:13:08,009
Paul Wilkins,
seated in the upper deck,
1380
01:13:08,092 --> 01:13:12,268
finally had the nerve to do
what he couldn't for weeks:
1381
01:13:12,346 --> 01:13:16,647
he kissed Tammy Budnick
long and good.
1382
01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:20,026
The young couple
was lost in the moment,
1383
01:13:21,022 --> 01:13:22,740
oblivious to the fact
that the world
1384
01:13:22,815 --> 01:13:26,194
was collapsing around them.
1385
01:13:26,819 --> 01:13:27,945
Six and a half months later,
1386
01:13:28,029 --> 01:13:30,908
they were married
in Lakewood, Ohio.
1387
01:13:31,198 --> 01:13:34,998
Three months after that,
I was born.
1388
01:13:35,077 --> 01:13:38,206
That was the beginning
of the Wilkins family.
1389
01:13:39,123 --> 01:13:41,626
It hasn't been the
same since Dad died
1390
01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:44,007
but we'll figure it out.
1391
01:14:14,992 --> 01:14:17,495
- You want a cup of coffee?
1392
01:14:18,245 --> 01:14:21,215
- Yeah. Thanks.
1393
01:14:35,930 --> 01:14:37,477
- There.
1394
01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:39,809
Be careful, it's hot.
1395
01:14:45,856 --> 01:14:47,483
- Jesus...
1396
01:14:47,566 --> 01:14:49,660
all I taste is blood.
1397
01:14:49,735 --> 01:14:50,486
- Here.
1398
01:14:50,528 --> 01:14:52,280
I can put some Bailey's in that.
1399
01:14:52,363 --> 01:14:54,536
- Naw, no, I'm good.
1400
01:14:55,408 --> 01:14:59,504
I think I should quit that.
1401
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:05,085
- You should see a dentist.
1402
01:15:05,167 --> 01:15:07,215
- Yeah, I'll go tomorrow.
1403
01:15:07,294 --> 01:15:10,013
- Tomorrow?
You...
1404
01:15:11,048 --> 01:15:13,346
Right.
1405
01:15:15,886 --> 01:15:18,935
- Where's Cody?
1406
01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:21,689
- He's at a hotel.
1407
01:15:23,644 --> 01:15:24,861
- The kids?
1408
01:15:24,937 --> 01:15:26,905
- Um, they're at their father's.
1409
01:15:29,525 --> 01:15:34,156
I'm sorry I ruined
your Christmas.
1410
01:15:37,783 --> 01:15:40,912
- You didn't.
1411
01:15:42,663 --> 01:15:47,294
I was with Mark,
my first husband,
1412
01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:50,971
for twenty-one years.
1413
01:15:51,047 --> 01:15:54,017
And one day I woke up
and that young,
1414
01:15:54,091 --> 01:16:00,474
handsome man I married
wasn't in bed next to me.
1415
01:16:00,556 --> 01:16:05,562
I was sleeping with
an old, bald man
1416
01:16:05,644 --> 01:16:09,194
and it freaked me out.
1417
01:16:10,691 --> 01:16:14,616
So I decided to
do something about it.
1418
01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:20,543
And I didn't think about
anybody but myself.
1419
01:16:21,452 --> 01:16:26,333
- I want you to know
I'm not the good guy here.
1420
01:16:26,415 --> 01:16:29,589
I mean...
1421
01:16:29,668 --> 01:16:32,137
I'm a gross, disgusting man.
1422
01:16:32,213 --> 01:16:34,762
- No.
- Look at me.
1423
01:16:36,050 --> 01:16:39,475
I'm no better than my brother.
1424
01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:43,648
- You are.
1425
01:16:46,602 --> 01:16:48,479
Alright.
1426
01:16:51,148 --> 01:16:54,778
I don't care, it's just us here.
1427
01:17:05,538 --> 01:17:08,007
Merry Christmas.
1428
01:17:19,385 --> 01:17:21,029
- Cleveland's had plenty of lows
1429
01:17:21,053 --> 01:17:23,397
since Ten Cent Beer Night.
1430
01:17:23,472 --> 01:17:25,270
The Drive.
1431
01:17:25,349 --> 01:17:27,067
The Fumble.
1432
01:17:27,143 --> 01:17:28,816
The Shot.
1433
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:33,278
But we've come to accept it.
1434
01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:37,161
It's who we are.
1435
01:17:57,173 --> 01:18:00,143
And with that, the Wilkins
family Christmas tale
1436
01:18:00,217 --> 01:18:02,686
comes to an end.
1437
01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:10,361
- Thanks, Nick.
1438
01:18:10,436 --> 01:18:13,064
This has been Beat of the Drum.
1439
01:18:18,736 --> 01:18:20,534
- Oh, let me get that, boss.
1440
01:18:21,238 --> 01:18:22,615
I got it.
1441
01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:24,826
- Thanks, Luis.
Welcome back, buddy.