1 00:00:13,335 --> 00:00:16,571 Lee: I've been kinda pissed off lately. 2 00:00:16,605 --> 00:00:18,407 And it's not just me. 3 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,376 Everyone I know has been pissed off lately-- 4 00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:23,712 Bella, Monica, Allison. 5 00:00:23,745 --> 00:00:25,514 None of us knows why. 6 00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,716 It's not rage or fury. 7 00:00:27,749 --> 00:00:30,485 It's not malaise or ennui. 8 00:00:30,519 --> 00:00:33,288 I mean, hell, I wish it was something specific, 9 00:00:33,322 --> 00:00:35,857 something I could just point my finger at and say, 10 00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:39,261 "Doctor, look. Here's where it hurts. 11 00:00:39,294 --> 00:00:41,263 Here is where I'm bleeding." 12 00:00:41,296 --> 00:00:42,597 But it isn't. 13 00:00:42,631 --> 00:00:46,635 I mean, the only way that I can describe it is this. 14 00:00:46,668 --> 00:00:49,204 I feel like an Israelite. 15 00:00:49,238 --> 00:00:50,739 You know, I remember as a kid 16 00:00:50,772 --> 00:00:53,342 that story of the Israelites in the desert 17 00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:55,610 and how they wandered around for 40 years, 18 00:00:55,644 --> 00:00:59,581 being told about this awesome place, this promised land. 19 00:00:59,614 --> 00:01:01,750 And you know what they found when they got there? 20 00:01:01,783 --> 00:01:03,685 A fucking desert. 21 00:01:03,718 --> 00:01:05,754 Oh, Bella, this was a bad idea. 22 00:01:05,787 --> 00:01:07,589 Oh, come on. It's worth a shot. 23 00:01:07,622 --> 00:01:10,125 - There's over 400 stores in here. - ( Lee groans ) 24 00:01:10,159 --> 00:01:12,661 Something in here has to lift our spirits. 25 00:01:12,694 --> 00:01:15,530 - Retail therapy. - Ugh. Retail therapy. 26 00:01:15,564 --> 00:01:17,766 You know who retail therapy helps? 27 00:01:17,799 --> 00:01:20,702 - Retailers. - I'm trying to help, Lee. 28 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,337 You wanna spend a hundred bucks 29 00:01:22,371 --> 00:01:24,739 bitching about your mother to some shrink, 30 00:01:24,773 --> 00:01:28,377 or do you wanna spend a hundred bucks on some foxy cutoffs? 31 00:01:28,410 --> 00:01:30,712 No, no, no, no. 32 00:01:30,745 --> 00:01:33,382 Bella. Ugh. 33 00:01:34,649 --> 00:01:36,618 - ( whistles ) - Fuck. 34 00:01:36,651 --> 00:01:39,921 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 35 00:01:39,954 --> 00:01:42,624 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 36 00:01:42,657 --> 00:01:45,460 * If you're happy and you know it, then motherfucking show it * 37 00:01:45,494 --> 00:01:48,297 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your motherfucking hands * 38 00:01:48,330 --> 00:01:51,766 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! * 39 00:01:53,968 --> 00:01:55,304 - ( music playing ) - * Girl... 40 00:01:55,337 --> 00:01:57,639 Yes, yeah, that-- that's hot. 41 00:01:57,672 --> 00:01:59,708 Very nice. Very nice indeed. 42 00:01:59,741 --> 00:02:01,210 All right. Can you go the other way? 43 00:02:01,243 --> 00:02:03,412 Very nice. ( laughs ) 44 00:02:03,445 --> 00:02:06,281 Atomic Goldfarb. 45 00:02:06,315 --> 00:02:08,683 Is that a traditional Jewish name, you think? 46 00:02:08,717 --> 00:02:09,751 Atomic? 47 00:02:09,784 --> 00:02:11,886 They say he's good. 48 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:15,824 Please, he's been brought in to push me out. 49 00:02:15,857 --> 00:02:17,892 Probably, yes. 50 00:02:17,926 --> 00:02:21,630 ( sighs ) I don't know why I'm doing the Wonderbra thing, anyway. 51 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:22,931 I'm buried in my own accounts. 52 00:02:22,964 --> 00:02:25,767 Fuck you, Thom. You should be thanking me. 53 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,402 This is the only account of Larry's 54 00:02:27,436 --> 00:02:30,339 that everyone's been begging me for. 55 00:02:30,372 --> 00:02:33,408 ( man laughs ) That's it. That's it. 56 00:02:33,442 --> 00:02:35,544 Look at that. 57 00:02:35,577 --> 00:02:38,480 I gotta tell ya, this does nothing for me anymore. 58 00:02:38,513 --> 00:02:43,285 Having sex with Dani is just like a whole different thing. 59 00:02:43,318 --> 00:02:45,854 Her body is like-- 60 00:02:45,887 --> 00:02:48,223 it's like a map of her life. 61 00:02:48,257 --> 00:02:48,923 Oh, God. 62 00:02:48,957 --> 00:02:50,559 I mean, at first I'm like, 63 00:02:50,592 --> 00:02:54,463 "Hey, this is the oldest woman I've ever had sex with," 64 00:02:54,496 --> 00:02:56,898 but now I think she may be the only real woman 65 00:02:56,931 --> 00:02:57,999 I've ever had sex with. 66 00:02:58,032 --> 00:03:00,602 Every female body under 40 67 00:03:00,635 --> 00:03:02,671 looks like they bought it from the same catalog, 68 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,273 which they did. 69 00:03:04,306 --> 00:03:07,309 And women under 30 are like Ikea furniture. 70 00:03:07,342 --> 00:03:09,711 You know, it looks good, but everyone's got it. 71 00:03:09,744 --> 00:03:12,814 By the time you get it home, it's probably gonna be damaged. 72 00:03:12,847 --> 00:03:17,819 But I'm telling you, when I cup Dani's breast in my hand, 73 00:03:17,852 --> 00:03:23,758 there's-- there's life in there, you know? 74 00:03:23,792 --> 00:03:25,260 You can't buy that. 75 00:03:25,294 --> 00:03:27,562 There's no surgery you get for that. 76 00:03:27,596 --> 00:03:28,963 It's life. It's a journey. 77 00:03:28,997 --> 00:03:31,800 And every dent, every scar, every imperfection 78 00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:34,369 just makes a woman all the more beautiful. 79 00:03:34,403 --> 00:03:38,373 Gravity does wonderful things to the female body. 80 00:03:38,407 --> 00:03:39,541 Yep. 81 00:03:41,443 --> 00:03:43,412 Have you ever sucked a saggy tit? 82 00:03:43,445 --> 00:03:44,613 Whoa. 83 00:03:49,851 --> 00:03:53,288 Can she take that gum out? 84 00:04:07,502 --> 00:04:09,338 We have arrived! 85 00:04:10,639 --> 00:04:12,741 Wait. 86 00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,709 This is it? 87 00:04:14,743 --> 00:04:17,912 This is the promised land? 88 00:04:17,946 --> 00:04:20,682 Are you kidding me? It's a shithole. 89 00:04:20,715 --> 00:04:23,418 Yes, but it's our shithole. 90 00:04:23,452 --> 00:04:24,453 A shithole? 91 00:04:24,486 --> 00:04:26,388 It's not even a fucking shithole. 92 00:04:26,421 --> 00:04:28,557 It's nothing. A shithole would be something. 93 00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:30,825 Nothing is ever good enough for you people. 94 00:04:30,859 --> 00:04:33,462 - No wonder God hates you. - Barry: This is bullshit. 95 00:04:33,495 --> 00:04:35,497 I knew we shouldn't have left Egypt. 96 00:04:35,530 --> 00:04:37,399 At least back in Egypt we could have imagined someplace better. 97 00:04:37,432 --> 00:04:38,967 Oh, fuck it. Let's just go back. 98 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,604 Oh, can't we please just try to enjoy this? 99 00:04:42,637 --> 00:04:45,106 Lee: He said that we would find something here. 100 00:04:45,139 --> 00:04:47,108 He said there would be something here. 101 00:04:47,141 --> 00:04:50,612 A reason, a purpose, a meaning. 102 00:04:50,645 --> 00:04:52,013 He lied to us, Bells. 103 00:04:52,046 --> 00:04:53,815 Enjoy what? 104 00:04:53,848 --> 00:04:57,886 The scorpions, the emptiness, the sand? 105 00:04:57,919 --> 00:04:59,754 Yes! Sand. 106 00:04:59,788 --> 00:05:01,523 Sand is fun, okay? 107 00:05:01,556 --> 00:05:02,891 What do you got against sand? 108 00:05:02,924 --> 00:05:04,759 Sand castles. Sand boxes. 109 00:05:04,793 --> 00:05:06,861 - Sand crabs. - Sand storms. 110 00:05:06,895 --> 00:05:09,030 Oh, can't we just play in the sand, guys? 111 00:05:09,063 --> 00:05:11,466 Can't we just play in the sand? 112 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:16,605 'Cause I'm so sick of wandering and walking and waiting. 113 00:05:16,638 --> 00:05:20,975 And if we play in the sand, it'll cheer us up, okay? 114 00:05:21,009 --> 00:05:22,411 Let's just play in the sand. 115 00:05:22,444 --> 00:05:25,747 Look at me. I'm just playing in the sand! 116 00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:28,717 - ( screaming ) - My eyes! 117 00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:30,819 Oh, my God. My eyes. 118 00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,487 Bella, I think I'm gonna have a seizure. 119 00:05:32,521 --> 00:05:33,855 Can we please get out of here? 120 00:05:33,888 --> 00:05:34,956 Look at the picture on this. 121 00:05:34,989 --> 00:05:36,124 It's amazing. 122 00:05:36,157 --> 00:05:38,092 Helen Keller had the right idea. 123 00:05:38,126 --> 00:05:39,928 Blind and deaf. That's the way to go. 124 00:05:39,961 --> 00:05:42,897 64-inch screen. 2,000 pixels. 125 00:05:42,931 --> 00:05:45,900 Did you ever hear that Lenny Bruce thing about fake vomit? 126 00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:47,502 No, and we don't want to. 127 00:05:47,536 --> 00:05:49,904 Mm. He said, "You know why they make fake vomit? 128 00:05:49,938 --> 00:05:52,407 'Cause the fake shit sold so well." 129 00:05:53,475 --> 00:05:55,610 $3,000, huh? You sell a lot of these? 130 00:05:55,644 --> 00:05:57,579 Oh, can't keep them in the store. 131 00:05:57,612 --> 00:05:59,781 I think I have one more in stock if you're interested. 132 00:05:59,814 --> 00:06:02,116 - Do you have any crack? - Crack? 133 00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:05,487 Yeah. I'm looking for something that's maybe a little less addictive, 134 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,088 maybe something a little less bad for my brain? 135 00:06:07,121 --> 00:06:08,757 Can you just chill the fuck out? 136 00:06:08,790 --> 00:06:11,526 - I'll come back. - All right, Rich. Thank you. 137 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:12,494 Bella... 138 00:06:13,728 --> 00:06:15,196 I'm just trying to have a nice time. 139 00:06:15,229 --> 00:06:17,466 I just wanna have a mindless day. 140 00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:20,902 One day without the kid and the school and the husband, okay? 141 00:06:20,935 --> 00:06:24,172 Go through the mall, buy a few things, get a manicure. 142 00:06:24,205 --> 00:06:26,074 Do you have to fuckin' piss on everything? 143 00:06:26,107 --> 00:06:28,510 Whoa, wait. I'm not pissing on anything, Bella. 144 00:06:28,543 --> 00:06:30,211 I'm allowed to have an opinion. 145 00:06:30,244 --> 00:06:33,081 And I'm allowed not to have to hear it, Lee, okay? 146 00:06:33,114 --> 00:06:35,550 Just today. Just for once. 147 00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:38,987 Just humor me, all right? I know it's stupid. 148 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:41,523 That's the whole point, you know? 149 00:06:41,556 --> 00:06:43,157 The whole thing is fuckin' stupid. 150 00:06:43,191 --> 00:06:47,962 But sometimes I just need stupid, okay? 151 00:06:47,996 --> 00:06:49,698 Don't yuck my yum. 152 00:06:49,731 --> 00:06:52,701 That's what they say at Clarence's school. 153 00:06:52,734 --> 00:06:54,703 Don't yuck my yum. 154 00:06:54,736 --> 00:06:57,105 Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. 155 00:06:57,138 --> 00:06:59,608 Okay? I won't fuck with your bubble 156 00:06:59,641 --> 00:07:01,242 and you don't yuck my yum. 157 00:07:01,275 --> 00:07:04,879 Okay, I won't yuck your yum. 158 00:07:04,913 --> 00:07:08,016 - Thank you. My yum appreciates it. - Okay, good. 159 00:07:08,049 --> 00:07:10,585 Okay, speaking of yum, let's get a fuckin' drink. 160 00:07:10,619 --> 00:07:12,053 Oh! 161 00:07:12,086 --> 00:07:13,655 Not a bad gig, huh? 162 00:07:13,688 --> 00:07:15,123 - ( music playing ) - Thom: Not a bad gig. 163 00:07:17,258 --> 00:07:18,893 You live in Woodstock? 164 00:07:18,927 --> 00:07:20,261 Yeah. 165 00:07:20,294 --> 00:07:22,497 That's where that concert was, right? 166 00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:24,265 - That's right. - When was that? 167 00:07:24,298 --> 00:07:27,502 Like, late '90s or something, right? 168 00:07:27,536 --> 00:07:30,038 Uh, there was a second one in the late '90s. 169 00:07:30,071 --> 00:07:32,140 The first was late '60s. 170 00:07:32,173 --> 00:07:36,144 Oh, two concerts. Cool, cool. 171 00:07:38,312 --> 00:07:41,249 So you're doing, like, a retro hippy sort of thing, huh? 172 00:07:41,282 --> 00:07:43,518 Sort of like a post-city, indie, 173 00:07:43,552 --> 00:07:46,588 nonmaterialistic, anti-social media vibe? 174 00:07:46,621 --> 00:07:48,757 Cool, cool. I dig that. 175 00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:50,158 You know, a buddy of mine in Brooklyn's doing 176 00:07:50,191 --> 00:07:52,126 this whole urban farm thing, man. 177 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,161 Props to that. Props to that. 178 00:07:53,194 --> 00:07:54,896 Just stop. One s-- wait there. 179 00:07:54,929 --> 00:07:57,198 Yeah, cool, cool. Do your thing, man. Do your thing. 180 00:07:57,231 --> 00:07:59,901 I'll just be sitting here watching some hotties. 181 00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:02,303 Jonathan says he wants you to be at the JP Morgan briefing. 182 00:08:02,336 --> 00:08:04,639 Well, tell him I'd love to, but I can't 183 00:08:04,673 --> 00:08:06,307 because I'm babysitting a fucking two-year-old 184 00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:08,176 and I have to run out to buy some diapers. 185 00:08:08,209 --> 00:08:10,244 Uh, Jonathan, Thom says he'd love to, 186 00:08:10,278 --> 00:08:12,647 but he and Atomic are buried in Wonderbra. 187 00:08:12,681 --> 00:08:15,283 Lorna, tell Thom to stop bullshitting a bullshitter. 188 00:08:15,316 --> 00:08:17,218 How long does it take to pick a pair of tits? 189 00:08:17,251 --> 00:08:20,021 Jonathan's feeling is that JP Morgan is a priority right now. 190 00:08:20,054 --> 00:08:23,157 Well, tell him that he shouldn't have put me in a room with a fucking moron 191 00:08:23,191 --> 00:08:24,559 and given me the unenviable task 192 00:08:24,593 --> 00:08:29,731 of having to choose a pair of tits for the most asinine product ever. 193 00:08:29,764 --> 00:08:30,932 Jonathan? 194 00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:32,901 Thom says he'll try. Mm-hmm. 195 00:08:32,934 --> 00:08:34,202 - ( laughter ) - ( music playing ) 196 00:08:34,235 --> 00:08:36,170 I told you this was a good idea. 197 00:08:36,204 --> 00:08:37,606 No, this was a good idea. 198 00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:39,674 Ugh, I just needed a break, you know? 199 00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:42,677 Barry's just-- ugh. I don't know. 200 00:08:42,711 --> 00:08:44,679 He's just so down all the time, you know? 201 00:08:44,713 --> 00:08:46,180 Like, nothing picks him up. 202 00:08:46,214 --> 00:08:47,749 He's yucking your yum. 203 00:08:47,782 --> 00:08:50,819 ( both laughing ) 204 00:08:50,852 --> 00:08:52,687 He says it's the job. 205 00:08:52,721 --> 00:08:54,923 I don't know, maybe it is. I don't know. 206 00:08:54,956 --> 00:08:57,626 - Barry: Atomic? - Thom: Atomic Goldfarb. 207 00:08:57,659 --> 00:08:59,861 The latest underaged prophet 208 00:08:59,894 --> 00:09:03,832 sent to deliver the lost 40-somethings from the wilderness. 209 00:09:03,865 --> 00:09:05,667 Hey, at least you're working on some titties. 210 00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:07,368 If I was working on some titties, 211 00:09:07,401 --> 00:09:09,938 then maybe I wouldn't be chasing every pair that walked by. 212 00:09:09,971 --> 00:09:12,641 Hey, Bella is awesome. Don't fuck it up. 213 00:09:12,674 --> 00:09:13,942 I know. I know. She's great. 214 00:09:13,975 --> 00:09:15,243 It's just-- I don't know. 215 00:09:15,276 --> 00:09:16,845 You know, I mean, you wouldn't want to read 216 00:09:16,878 --> 00:09:19,047 just one book your whole life, would you? 217 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,215 What one book is enough for a lifetime? 218 00:09:21,249 --> 00:09:24,018 - The Bible, according to my mother. - That's five books. 219 00:09:24,052 --> 00:09:25,654 32 if you count the New Testament. 220 00:09:25,687 --> 00:09:26,988 That's a fucking lot of books. 221 00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:29,357 Yeah, and none of them are very good, to be honest. 222 00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:31,392 Man, you know what? I envy you. 223 00:09:31,425 --> 00:09:34,796 You think-- you think Lee and I don't have issues? 224 00:09:34,829 --> 00:09:36,397 No, I didn't say I envied your marriage. 225 00:09:36,430 --> 00:09:39,400 I envy your dream. You still have a dream. 226 00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:42,904 See, you still believe that if you just had enough time 227 00:09:42,937 --> 00:09:44,205 to write a book or two, 228 00:09:44,238 --> 00:09:46,174 if you could just become a writer, 229 00:09:46,207 --> 00:09:47,408 your life would be better. 230 00:09:47,441 --> 00:09:49,277 Me, I know that's bullshit. 231 00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:51,646 I left my corporate law gig, 232 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,748 followed my heart, moved to the country, 233 00:09:53,782 --> 00:09:55,950 became a family court attorney. 234 00:09:55,984 --> 00:09:57,351 Something for my soul. 235 00:09:57,385 --> 00:09:58,753 And you know what? 236 00:09:58,787 --> 00:10:00,922 The work is shittier than before. 237 00:10:00,955 --> 00:10:02,924 I've been to the mountain top, brother, 238 00:10:02,957 --> 00:10:05,894 and it's the same miserable shit as the mountain bottom. 239 00:10:05,927 --> 00:10:09,430 Barry was my beautiful black knight in shining armor, 240 00:10:09,463 --> 00:10:11,265 you know, leading me to freedom. 241 00:10:11,299 --> 00:10:14,068 - ( laughs ) - Just-- I don't know. 242 00:10:14,102 --> 00:10:15,804 We're not connecting lately. 243 00:10:15,837 --> 00:10:18,139 Same bed, separate lives. 244 00:10:18,172 --> 00:10:19,874 I mean, that's just reality, Bella. 245 00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:21,910 Honey, that's just-- that's just life. 246 00:10:21,943 --> 00:10:25,914 I mean, Thom and I don't fuck like we used to, but we laugh more. 247 00:10:25,947 --> 00:10:28,182 Yeah? 248 00:10:28,216 --> 00:10:31,219 Well, we don't fuck or laugh. 249 00:10:32,854 --> 00:10:34,756 Maybe you should talk to someone. 250 00:10:34,789 --> 00:10:36,791 - Maybe you should-- yeah. - "Maybe." I'm talking to you. 251 00:10:36,825 --> 00:10:39,894 Yeah, I know. You know, I mean, someone you pay money to. 252 00:10:39,928 --> 00:10:42,430 No, or maybe depression is not a disorder. 253 00:10:42,463 --> 00:10:43,932 Maybe life is the disorder. 254 00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:47,802 Maybe we're a smart virus that has to adapt-- 255 00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:49,370 God damn. ( laughs ) 256 00:10:49,403 --> 00:10:51,806 Lost my train of thought. 257 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,174 Wow, there's no conversation 258 00:10:53,207 --> 00:10:55,076 that won't stop for, uh-- for ass. 259 00:10:55,109 --> 00:10:57,211 None. 260 00:10:57,245 --> 00:11:02,183 "Four score and seven years ago, a new-- holy crap! 261 00:11:02,216 --> 00:11:05,219 Look at the ass on that bitch." 262 00:11:05,253 --> 00:11:10,224 "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and-- God damn. 263 00:11:10,258 --> 00:11:12,093 Look at the titties in the front row. 264 00:11:12,126 --> 00:11:13,895 You're distracting the King." 265 00:11:13,928 --> 00:11:15,229 Excuse me. 266 00:11:15,263 --> 00:11:16,497 Could we get another round of appletinis 267 00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:18,332 and some more mozzarella sticks? 268 00:11:18,366 --> 00:11:20,068 - Sure. - Oh, my God. 269 00:11:20,101 --> 00:11:22,937 ( both laughing ) 270 00:11:22,971 --> 00:11:25,506 I told you. This was a good idea. 271 00:11:25,539 --> 00:11:30,311 Oh. No, mama, this was a great idea. 272 00:11:30,344 --> 00:11:33,247 Larry: My last day after 15 years. 273 00:11:33,281 --> 00:11:35,116 You know what I'm proudest of? 274 00:11:35,149 --> 00:11:36,851 Wonderbra. Supporting greatness. 275 00:11:36,885 --> 00:11:39,353 Hey, I inherited that campaign. 276 00:11:39,387 --> 00:11:41,022 It's yours now, asshole. 277 00:11:41,055 --> 00:11:42,390 Yeah, don't remind me. 278 00:11:42,423 --> 00:11:45,359 Do you wanna pick one last pair before you leave? 279 00:11:45,393 --> 00:11:47,395 "We are going to take this brand 280 00:11:47,428 --> 00:11:50,331 from hooters to heroines." 281 00:11:50,364 --> 00:11:52,300 ( both laughing ) 282 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:54,368 Maya actually said that. 283 00:11:54,402 --> 00:11:56,504 And then she took us through her slideshow 284 00:11:56,537 --> 00:11:58,840 of great women with great racks. 285 00:11:58,873 --> 00:12:00,775 - I know. - Eleanor Roosevelt. 286 00:12:00,809 --> 00:12:03,477 Golda Meir. Barbara Bush. 287 00:12:03,511 --> 00:12:05,279 Hey, Babs had a rack on her, man. 288 00:12:05,313 --> 00:12:07,315 Well, Bush '41 was a tit man. 289 00:12:07,348 --> 00:12:08,883 Yeah, well, all presidents are tit men. 290 00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:12,053 Mm. Not Obama. Obama's an ass man. 291 00:12:12,086 --> 00:12:13,855 ( laughs ) 292 00:12:13,888 --> 00:12:16,958 Yeah. Yeah, there's probably a joke about the Oval Office, 293 00:12:16,991 --> 00:12:18,793 but I can't be bothered. 294 00:12:19,894 --> 00:12:21,930 Do you remember when we first met? 295 00:12:21,963 --> 00:12:23,464 It's gotta be 15 years ago now. 296 00:12:23,497 --> 00:12:25,399 I came in here and I said, "Hey... 297 00:12:25,433 --> 00:12:28,036 Larry Nash, love your work. I just started here." 298 00:12:28,069 --> 00:12:30,138 - You know what you said? - What? 299 00:12:30,171 --> 00:12:32,240 "I'm sorry to hear that." 300 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:34,142 ( chuckles ) 301 00:12:34,175 --> 00:12:35,443 Yeah. 302 00:12:35,476 --> 00:12:37,812 So what are you most proud of? 303 00:12:40,081 --> 00:12:43,251 That in 15 years in this fucking business 304 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:46,354 I never once stopped hating it. 305 00:12:50,358 --> 00:12:51,926 Good for you. 306 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,995 I think that's what bothers me the most 307 00:12:54,028 --> 00:12:56,197 about these younger guys, you know? 308 00:12:56,230 --> 00:12:57,498 That they think it's cool. 309 00:12:57,531 --> 00:12:58,900 You know? They like it. 310 00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:00,935 They don't mind working for Satan. 311 00:13:00,969 --> 00:13:02,937 You know, the pay is fantastic. 312 00:13:02,971 --> 00:13:05,339 But you can't forget it's Satan. 313 00:13:05,373 --> 00:13:07,041 Did you call Dani? 314 00:13:07,075 --> 00:13:10,044 You know, I'm ashamed I was ever good at it, to be honest. 315 00:13:10,078 --> 00:13:12,947 You know, I think it was the stuff that made me happy back then. 316 00:13:12,981 --> 00:13:15,549 You know, the brands and the things when I was younger. 317 00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:18,219 The Nikes and the Levis and the BMWs. 318 00:13:18,252 --> 00:13:19,487 It was fun to be a part of. 319 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,089 It was fun to get involved with. 320 00:13:21,122 --> 00:13:22,957 Because the products themselves 321 00:13:22,991 --> 00:13:25,493 actually made me happy, you know? 322 00:13:25,526 --> 00:13:29,230 And then somewhere around 35 or something, something happens. 323 00:13:29,263 --> 00:13:30,531 It stopped making you happy. 324 00:13:30,564 --> 00:13:33,434 I remember looking around my house a few months back, 325 00:13:33,467 --> 00:13:37,505 and it's just filled with $5,000 couches 326 00:13:37,538 --> 00:13:40,308 and dead, soulless art, and I just thought, 327 00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:43,244 "What the fuck is all this shit?" 328 00:13:43,277 --> 00:13:44,512 My neighbor Ted was over, 329 00:13:44,545 --> 00:13:46,614 and I said, "Ted, what is all this shit?" 330 00:13:46,647 --> 00:13:48,883 ( chuckles ) What did he say? 331 00:13:48,917 --> 00:13:50,985 He offered me two grand for the couch. 332 00:13:51,019 --> 00:13:52,620 ( laughs ) 333 00:13:53,621 --> 00:13:56,057 Did you call Dani? 334 00:13:56,090 --> 00:13:58,126 - Yeah. - And? 335 00:13:58,159 --> 00:14:01,562 She said the average employee age at Facebook is 26 336 00:14:01,595 --> 00:14:05,900 and at Google it's 31 and at Apple it's 33. 337 00:14:07,301 --> 00:14:11,472 I don't know what's worse, your leaving or my staying. 338 00:14:17,278 --> 00:14:19,180 - ( music playing ) - Bella: This is sexy. 339 00:14:19,213 --> 00:14:21,449 What do you think? 340 00:14:21,482 --> 00:14:23,584 It would look good on your daughter. 341 00:14:23,617 --> 00:14:27,121 Bella, look at this. 342 00:14:27,155 --> 00:14:29,690 This would look great-- you'd look awesome in this. 343 00:14:29,723 --> 00:14:33,194 This is really hot. 344 00:14:33,227 --> 00:14:34,695 That's not hot, Bella. 345 00:14:34,728 --> 00:14:37,065 That's ridiculous. 346 00:14:38,632 --> 00:14:41,135 - Is this about Barry? - What? 347 00:14:41,169 --> 00:14:43,571 You do not need to dress like a teenager 348 00:14:43,604 --> 00:14:45,573 to keep him interested in you. 349 00:14:45,606 --> 00:14:48,609 Wow. Fuck you. 350 00:14:50,011 --> 00:14:51,712 He should be happy to have you at all. 351 00:14:51,745 --> 00:14:53,214 That's all I'm saying. 352 00:14:56,050 --> 00:15:00,254 Oh. Look who's gonna lecture me about happy. 353 00:15:00,288 --> 00:15:01,489 Look at you, Lee. 354 00:15:01,522 --> 00:15:03,591 You have a good marriage. 355 00:15:03,624 --> 00:15:05,193 You have a beautiful child. 356 00:15:05,226 --> 00:15:07,728 You have a home. You have a studio. 357 00:15:07,761 --> 00:15:10,531 And you are still pissed off. 358 00:15:10,564 --> 00:15:13,367 You are still dissatisfied. 359 00:15:13,401 --> 00:15:15,603 Why is that, Lee? Huh? 360 00:15:15,636 --> 00:15:17,171 What's it gonna take? 361 00:15:17,205 --> 00:15:19,073 How perfect does your shit need to be 362 00:15:19,107 --> 00:15:22,610 before you let yourself even feel an ounce of joy? 363 00:15:22,643 --> 00:15:25,746 Don't talk to me about happy, okay? 364 00:15:25,779 --> 00:15:28,249 Don't talk to me about anything. 365 00:15:37,525 --> 00:15:40,094 ( music playing on TV ) 366 00:15:40,128 --> 00:15:44,198 Listen, uh, Atomic, I'm not sure I can take much more of this. 367 00:15:44,232 --> 00:15:46,367 Yeah, I hear ya. 368 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,603 Look, if you wanna choose the model, that's fine by me. 369 00:15:49,637 --> 00:15:51,439 I don't even know why they use a model anyway. 370 00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:54,242 It's not like anybody doesn't know what they do. 371 00:15:54,275 --> 00:15:55,409 Or what tits look like. 372 00:15:55,443 --> 00:15:57,011 Exactly. 373 00:15:58,212 --> 00:15:59,347 All right. 374 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:01,315 You know, I was thinking... 375 00:16:01,349 --> 00:16:05,586 maybe they shouldn't even have a Wonderbra model anymore, you know? 376 00:16:05,619 --> 00:16:08,756 I mean, I don't-- you're the creative director. You know better than me. 377 00:16:08,789 --> 00:16:11,359 But, like, maybe all they need to do 378 00:16:11,392 --> 00:16:13,794 is own big. 379 00:16:13,827 --> 00:16:15,763 Well, this is my first day on the account, 380 00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:18,399 so, you know, your guess is as good as mine. 381 00:16:18,432 --> 00:16:22,270 I just think, like, all this "supporting greatness" shit, it's weak, man. 382 00:16:22,303 --> 00:16:24,572 It's like they're embarrassed to be who they are. 383 00:16:24,605 --> 00:16:27,708 People like big tits. All people. 384 00:16:27,741 --> 00:16:29,543 Except for the people that don't, and fuck them. 385 00:16:29,577 --> 00:16:31,779 They're not buying Wonderbras anyway. 386 00:16:31,812 --> 00:16:33,714 So let's just own big. 387 00:16:33,747 --> 00:16:35,483 Americans like big. 388 00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:38,419 Big burgers, big trucks, big tits. 389 00:16:38,452 --> 00:16:41,155 - ( laughs ) - You don't even need to see some chick, you know? 390 00:16:41,189 --> 00:16:42,656 You don't even need to see the product. 391 00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:45,393 You just open up on, uh-- on... 392 00:16:45,426 --> 00:16:48,162 I don't know, you open up on the Great Wall of China, right? 393 00:16:48,196 --> 00:16:49,830 And you see how huge it is, right? 394 00:16:49,863 --> 00:16:51,832 You know, it's gigantic. Miles long, all that shit. 395 00:16:51,865 --> 00:16:53,534 And then the title comes up. 396 00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:55,703 "Nobody travels halfway around the world 397 00:16:55,736 --> 00:16:58,139 to see the Medium Wall of China." 398 00:16:58,172 --> 00:16:59,173 Logo comes up. 399 00:16:59,207 --> 00:17:01,742 "Wonderbra. Go big." 400 00:17:01,775 --> 00:17:05,279 Or, you know, whatever. 401 00:17:05,313 --> 00:17:06,747 Yeah, no, that's-- 402 00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:09,283 yeah, I guess people don't come back from Yosemite 403 00:17:09,317 --> 00:17:11,852 and claim to have seen Littlefoot. 404 00:17:11,885 --> 00:17:13,721 ( laughs ) 405 00:17:13,754 --> 00:17:16,857 Lee: Maybe Bella's right. 406 00:17:16,890 --> 00:17:19,593 Maybe there is something wrong with me. 407 00:17:19,627 --> 00:17:20,661 There's nothing wrong with you. 408 00:17:20,694 --> 00:17:22,563 I hate sand, too. 409 00:17:22,596 --> 00:17:23,797 Well, they don't. 410 00:17:23,831 --> 00:17:26,100 They all seem really happy with it. 411 00:17:26,134 --> 00:17:28,502 Because they're insane. It's just sand. 412 00:17:28,536 --> 00:17:30,571 The only reason they like it is they can't admit they hate it 413 00:17:30,604 --> 00:17:31,872 'cause they're stuck in it. 414 00:17:31,905 --> 00:17:33,574 Because it's supposed to be the promised land, 415 00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:35,276 and they can't admit that it's not, 416 00:17:35,309 --> 00:17:36,043 that they were lied to. 417 00:17:36,076 --> 00:17:38,346 They were shortchanged, you know? 418 00:17:38,379 --> 00:17:41,115 And, I don't know, maybe there is a promised land, 419 00:17:41,149 --> 00:17:43,617 maybe there isn't, but this isn't it. 420 00:17:43,651 --> 00:17:46,620 This-- this can't be it, I mean, you know, 421 00:17:46,654 --> 00:17:49,723 however much they need to believe that it is. 422 00:17:50,858 --> 00:17:53,461 It's, like, I wasn't happy in Egypt. 423 00:17:53,494 --> 00:17:56,164 I wasn't happy in the desert and I'm not happy here. 424 00:17:56,197 --> 00:18:01,135 It's like-- it's like I'm broken. 425 00:18:01,169 --> 00:18:05,239 It's like I-- I-- I'm not happy anywhere. 426 00:18:05,273 --> 00:18:08,842 Baby, we'll-- we'll keep looking, okay? 427 00:18:08,876 --> 00:18:11,245 We're gonna find it. I promise. 428 00:18:17,818 --> 00:18:21,422 ( chattering ) 429 00:18:22,923 --> 00:18:24,792 Oh, my God, look at these! 430 00:18:24,825 --> 00:18:27,428 - These ones here. - I know! 431 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:37,271 ( chattering ) 432 00:18:44,312 --> 00:18:46,280 Oy. 433 00:18:46,314 --> 00:18:47,815 I'm lost. 434 00:18:47,848 --> 00:18:49,783 Who isn't? 435 00:18:49,817 --> 00:18:51,552 I gotta get out of here. 436 00:18:51,585 --> 00:18:53,687 Me, too. Come on, let's go. 437 00:18:53,721 --> 00:18:55,656 Oh, you're gonna show me the way out? 438 00:18:55,689 --> 00:18:56,824 I don't have that kind of time. 439 00:18:56,857 --> 00:18:58,526 Hey, don't bust my balls, Lee. 440 00:18:58,559 --> 00:19:02,230 Christ. You get lost once, they never let you forget it. 441 00:19:02,263 --> 00:19:04,365 Trust me. This way. 442 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,436 Shit. 443 00:19:08,469 --> 00:19:10,504 Wait. 444 00:19:10,538 --> 00:19:12,606 No, no. 445 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,708 No, this isn't right. 446 00:19:14,742 --> 00:19:16,677 So it's your fault. 447 00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:19,447 You started all this "promised land" shit. 448 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:24,285 Look, if I said I was taking everybody to "regular land," 449 00:19:24,318 --> 00:19:27,455 or, uh-- or "land that can't replace 450 00:19:27,488 --> 00:19:31,592 the gaping emotional empty hole in your heart," 451 00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:35,229 you think anybody would have followed me? 452 00:19:35,263 --> 00:19:37,931 If I've learned one thing in life, it's this. 453 00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:39,900 Promised land. 454 00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:41,969 Land of opportunity. 455 00:19:42,002 --> 00:19:44,572 Shining city on the hill. 456 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,443 It's just sand. 457 00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:54,882 How the fuck do you get out of here? 458 00:19:54,915 --> 00:19:56,484 ( elevator dings ) 459 00:19:56,517 --> 00:19:58,586 ( sighs ) 460 00:19:58,619 --> 00:20:02,523 So what do I do? Do I fake it? 461 00:20:02,556 --> 00:20:04,492 Yes. 462 00:20:04,525 --> 00:20:07,895 You take joy wherever you can find it, 463 00:20:07,928 --> 00:20:11,299 even if it's bullshit. 464 00:20:11,332 --> 00:20:14,368 You know, Lee, I never made it to the promised land. 465 00:20:14,402 --> 00:20:16,870 I died before we got in, but my kids made it in. 466 00:20:16,904 --> 00:20:19,607 And that's all that's important in the end. 467 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,475 They made it in. 468 00:20:21,509 --> 00:20:24,545 They've been happy there ever since. 469 00:20:24,578 --> 00:20:26,780 You don't follow the news much, do you, Mo? 470 00:20:26,814 --> 00:20:28,882 ( chuckles ) 471 00:20:30,551 --> 00:20:31,985 We're here. 472 00:20:32,019 --> 00:20:33,821 Oh. I found it. 473 00:20:33,854 --> 00:20:36,924 ( blows raspberry ) My ass. 474 00:20:36,957 --> 00:20:39,860 You know what? 475 00:20:39,893 --> 00:20:42,296 I'm gonna find some bullshit. 476 00:20:43,431 --> 00:20:46,934 And I'm gonna hit The Cheesecake Factory. 477 00:20:46,967 --> 00:20:48,802 Just purchasing the one item today? 478 00:20:48,836 --> 00:20:51,339 Cashier: Just returning the one item today? 479 00:20:51,372 --> 00:20:52,706 What was wrong with them? 480 00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:54,542 They're cheap and slutty. 481 00:20:54,575 --> 00:20:56,076 That's why I'm buying 'em. 482 00:20:56,109 --> 00:20:59,380 ( cash registers beeping ) 483 00:21:02,049 --> 00:21:04,585 I returned all the shit I bought. 484 00:21:04,618 --> 00:21:08,556 I'm buying all the shit that you returned. 485 00:21:11,425 --> 00:21:12,960 What now? 486 00:21:12,993 --> 00:21:14,895 I can't drive. 487 00:21:14,928 --> 00:21:17,398 Ugh. I can't drive. 488 00:21:18,499 --> 00:21:20,067 Any ideas? 489 00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:24,705 Well, obviously we should go have another round of appletinis 490 00:21:24,738 --> 00:21:26,474 and ride the Ferris wheel. 491 00:21:26,507 --> 00:21:28,876 Obviously! 492 00:21:30,611 --> 00:21:34,047 Atomic: Nobody would care much for the Less Than Grand Canyon. 493 00:21:34,081 --> 00:21:36,684 Nobody claims to have seen Mediumfoot. 494 00:21:36,717 --> 00:21:38,986 And nobody would travel halfway around the world 495 00:21:39,019 --> 00:21:41,755 to see the Not-So-Great Wall of China. 496 00:21:41,789 --> 00:21:44,492 Wonderbra. Go big. 497 00:21:45,859 --> 00:21:48,562 ( slow clap ) 498 00:21:48,596 --> 00:21:50,063 Thom: It's a great idea, guys. 499 00:21:50,097 --> 00:21:52,366 It's strong and it's simple, 500 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,935 and it gets away from that crappy imagery they've been stuck with. 501 00:21:54,968 --> 00:21:58,606 - It's not even close to their strategy. - Fuck the strategy. 502 00:21:58,639 --> 00:22:00,441 Lisa: They wanna be seen as supporting women. 503 00:22:00,474 --> 00:22:03,110 They wanna be human and approachable. 504 00:22:03,143 --> 00:22:05,713 They don't support women. They-- they do that. 505 00:22:05,746 --> 00:22:08,949 Andrea Dworkin never wore a Wonderbra. 506 00:22:08,982 --> 00:22:10,884 Andrea Dworkin never wore any bra. 507 00:22:10,918 --> 00:22:12,420 Maybe if it said something like, 508 00:22:12,453 --> 00:22:14,154 "Hey, this is the Great Wall of China, 509 00:22:14,187 --> 00:22:15,956 and you can be great, too." 510 00:22:15,989 --> 00:22:18,492 If you had bigger tits. 511 00:22:18,526 --> 00:22:21,595 Look, they spent millions on "supporting greatness," Thom. 512 00:22:21,629 --> 00:22:25,499 I get this is a clever idea and all, but there's just no way. 513 00:22:33,541 --> 00:22:35,042 Welcome to MGT. 514 00:22:35,075 --> 00:22:37,044 Oh, hey, no worries, man. 515 00:22:37,077 --> 00:22:39,613 I just started here. 516 00:22:39,647 --> 00:22:42,516 - I'm sorry to hear that. - ( chuckles ) 517 00:22:42,550 --> 00:22:46,086 Well, back to watching titties. 518 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:51,492 ( Lee and Bella cheering, laughing ) 519 00:22:51,525 --> 00:22:54,428 Lee: Welcome to the promised land! 520 00:22:54,462 --> 00:22:57,631 Welcome to the promised land! 521 00:22:57,665 --> 00:22:59,800 ( laughs, snorts ) 522 00:22:59,833 --> 00:23:01,034 - You know what? - What? 523 00:23:01,068 --> 00:23:03,036 Honey... 524 00:23:03,070 --> 00:23:05,773 you were right. 525 00:23:05,806 --> 00:23:09,142 This was a great idea! 526 00:23:10,110 --> 00:23:11,979 Lee: Hey, let us down! 527 00:23:12,012 --> 00:23:14,615 We have more shopping to do! 528 00:23:14,648 --> 00:23:16,717 Let us go! 529 00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:19,787 Let my penis go! 530 00:23:19,820 --> 00:23:21,589 ( laughs ) 531 00:23:21,622 --> 00:23:25,092 Let my penis go! 532 00:23:25,125 --> 00:23:27,728 We need more stuff! 533 00:23:27,761 --> 00:23:32,700 Let my penis go! 534 00:23:32,733 --> 00:23:38,506 Lee: And behold, Abraham arose in the morning, and he left. 535 00:23:38,539 --> 00:23:41,675 Guess that's why I always liked Abraham. 536 00:23:41,709 --> 00:23:43,844 At least he left. 537 00:23:43,877 --> 00:23:47,147 At least he kept trying to find a better place. 538 00:23:48,682 --> 00:23:50,584 You should go back to that store. 539 00:23:50,618 --> 00:23:53,253 - ( laughs ) - I'm serious. 540 00:23:53,286 --> 00:23:54,988 See if they have 'em in your size? 541 00:23:55,022 --> 00:23:57,124 - Yeah. - ( music playing ) 542 00:23:59,092 --> 00:24:01,094 Come here. Come here. 543 00:24:15,543 --> 00:24:16,810 Lee: And also, I mean, come on. 544 00:24:16,844 --> 00:24:19,580 He fucked his wife when she was 90. 545 00:24:19,613 --> 00:24:22,249 That's pretty fuckin' awesome, guys. 546 00:24:24,685 --> 00:24:27,755 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 547 00:24:27,788 --> 00:24:30,190 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 548 00:24:30,223 --> 00:24:33,093 * If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it * 549 00:24:33,126 --> 00:24:35,829 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 550 00:24:35,863 --> 00:24:38,699 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 551 00:24:38,732 --> 00:24:41,168 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 552 00:24:41,201 --> 00:24:44,104 * If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it * 553 00:24:44,137 --> 00:24:46,807 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 554 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,643 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 555 00:24:49,677 --> 00:24:52,179 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 556 00:24:52,212 --> 00:24:55,048 * If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it * 557 00:24:55,082 --> 00:24:57,818 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 558 00:24:57,851 --> 00:25:00,688 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 559 00:25:00,721 --> 00:25:03,223 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 560 00:25:03,256 --> 00:25:06,059 * If you're happy and you know it, then motherfucking show it * 561 00:25:06,093 --> 00:25:08,862 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your motherfucking hands * 562 00:25:08,896 --> 00:25:11,699 * If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it * 563 00:25:11,732 --> 00:25:15,202 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! *