1 00:00:13,102 --> 00:00:14,603 Thom: This is God. 2 00:00:14,636 --> 00:00:16,405 God can do anything, 3 00:00:16,438 --> 00:00:18,073 but there's one thing He can't do. 4 00:00:18,107 --> 00:00:21,076 Not now, not ever. God can't die. 5 00:00:21,110 --> 00:00:23,812 God is eternal, you see? God has to be eternal. 6 00:00:23,845 --> 00:00:25,680 That's the whole idea of God. 7 00:00:25,714 --> 00:00:27,682 So the moment God can die, He's no longer God, 8 00:00:27,716 --> 00:00:29,751 and so God should shut the fuck up. 9 00:00:29,784 --> 00:00:32,487 Walk a mile in my terrified mortal shoes, God. 10 00:00:32,521 --> 00:00:36,225 Lie in the dark, knowing nothing of the dark eternal nothing that follows. 11 00:00:36,258 --> 00:00:37,492 Then you can judge me. 12 00:00:37,526 --> 00:00:40,095 Until then, fuck off. Fuck you, God. 13 00:00:40,129 --> 00:00:43,432 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 14 00:00:43,465 --> 00:00:46,168 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 15 00:00:46,201 --> 00:00:48,703 * If you're happy and you know it, then motherfucking show it * 16 00:00:48,737 --> 00:00:51,573 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your motherfucking hands * 17 00:00:51,606 --> 00:00:55,244 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! * 18 00:00:55,277 --> 00:00:57,646 ( Julius coughing ) 19 00:01:02,251 --> 00:01:04,253 ( groans ) 20 00:01:04,286 --> 00:01:06,121 ( coughing continues ) 21 00:01:06,155 --> 00:01:08,590 ( whines ) 22 00:01:08,623 --> 00:01:12,194 - ( coughing continues ) - ( sighs ) 23 00:01:12,227 --> 00:01:14,396 Stop it. 24 00:01:14,429 --> 00:01:15,797 Stop what? 25 00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:19,134 Picturing him dead. It's a bug. 26 00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:22,537 - I'm not picturing him dead. - Yes, you are. 27 00:01:22,571 --> 00:01:25,140 I'm picturing him dying. 28 00:01:25,174 --> 00:01:27,342 Mm, much better. 29 00:01:27,376 --> 00:01:29,811 Dying's worse than death. 30 00:01:29,844 --> 00:01:32,214 Once you're dead, it's over. 31 00:01:32,247 --> 00:01:36,785 If you're dying, you're still hoping you'll pull through. 32 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,222 Which, of course, you won't. 33 00:01:40,255 --> 00:01:44,159 It's-- it's the hope that causes the pain. 34 00:01:44,193 --> 00:01:49,264 Well, whichever is more agonizing for you, dear. 35 00:01:50,332 --> 00:01:51,633 Hmm. 36 00:01:51,666 --> 00:01:53,702 Come on, you can't fire Larry. 37 00:01:53,735 --> 00:01:55,570 He's just had a baby. 38 00:01:55,604 --> 00:01:57,239 Larry's kid is in college. 39 00:01:57,272 --> 00:01:59,408 But he's got baby photographs all over his office. 40 00:01:59,441 --> 00:02:01,243 They're stock photos. 41 00:02:01,276 --> 00:02:03,445 He puts them up so we don't fire him. 42 00:02:03,478 --> 00:02:05,247 That's genius. 43 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,382 I mean, do you want to fire that kind of genius? 44 00:02:07,416 --> 00:02:09,851 - I don't want to fire anybody. - What about Debbie? 45 00:02:09,884 --> 00:02:11,920 You're head of Production, David. Debbie's an AE. 46 00:02:11,953 --> 00:02:14,523 Why don't you offer up someone from your own fucking department? 47 00:02:14,556 --> 00:02:15,924 Debbie's been around a long time, Jon. 48 00:02:15,957 --> 00:02:18,560 - 20 years. - That's the point. 49 00:02:18,593 --> 00:02:20,729 That's two years' severance. It'd be cheaper to keep her than to fire her. 50 00:02:20,762 --> 00:02:25,934 Guys, we're creating a better and smarter MGT. 51 00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:27,469 Every act of creation 52 00:02:27,502 --> 00:02:31,473 is an act of destruction. 53 00:02:31,506 --> 00:02:34,643 Gustaff reminds us of eggs and omelets. 54 00:02:37,712 --> 00:02:39,448 - What about Michael? - We're not firing Michael. 55 00:02:39,481 --> 00:02:40,815 He's a pain in the ass, Thom. 56 00:02:40,849 --> 00:02:43,285 All good people are a pain in the ass, David. 57 00:02:43,318 --> 00:02:44,953 Stick to your own Goddamn department. 58 00:02:44,986 --> 00:02:46,988 - I can drop Vince. - We can't drop Vince. 59 00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:49,558 - Because he's black? - 'Cause no one else is. 60 00:02:49,591 --> 00:02:53,428 Look, nobody gets to play Jesus on this one. 61 00:02:53,462 --> 00:02:54,696 Every soul you save today 62 00:02:54,729 --> 00:02:56,631 is another soul you condemn tomorrow, 63 00:02:56,665 --> 00:02:58,367 so climb down off your crosses, 64 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,501 take off your thorned crowns, 65 00:02:59,534 --> 00:03:00,702 and make the difficult decisions 66 00:03:00,735 --> 00:03:03,505 you guys get paid to make. 67 00:03:03,538 --> 00:03:05,707 We're gonna start with Larry. 68 00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:07,008 I'm gonna think about Debbie. 69 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:09,978 Maya, I need four from your department total. 70 00:03:10,011 --> 00:03:12,381 David, I need two from yours. 71 00:03:12,414 --> 00:03:13,582 Why does the Planning Department 72 00:03:13,615 --> 00:03:15,317 need to lose twice as many as Production? 73 00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:17,452 Account is losing 14. 74 00:03:17,486 --> 00:03:20,555 You're welcome to stay for the next meeting if you want. 75 00:03:22,357 --> 00:03:24,359 Hey, guys. Come on in. 76 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,729 I need a caffeine enema. ( laughs ) 77 00:03:27,762 --> 00:03:29,531 No, I'm not kidding you. I'm so freakin' tired. 78 00:03:29,564 --> 00:03:31,666 - * Mother is called madre... * - What did you guys do? 79 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:34,002 - * Papá is your dad... * - Lee: Oh, no. 80 00:03:34,035 --> 00:03:36,538 Dude, Jennifer's got that bug now. 81 00:03:36,571 --> 00:03:38,507 She's not going to school today. 82 00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:41,009 Well, yeah, last night was really rough, but I think we're over the hump. 83 00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:43,278 His fever's gone. You know what's amazing? 84 00:03:43,312 --> 00:03:46,348 - What fluids and rest will do for you. - Mom? 85 00:03:46,381 --> 00:03:49,518 No, let the body do its thang, you know. 86 00:03:49,551 --> 00:03:51,953 It's like fresh air. 87 00:03:51,986 --> 00:03:54,523 It's gonna do more for you than any fuckin' doctor. 88 00:03:54,556 --> 00:03:57,359 - Mom. - Honey, I'm on the phone. 89 00:03:57,392 --> 00:04:01,296 - ( vomiting continues ) - Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 90 00:04:01,330 --> 00:04:04,433 Buddy. Oh, no. 91 00:04:04,466 --> 00:04:07,802 Oh, that feels not fun. 92 00:04:09,103 --> 00:04:11,906 Didn't Razorfish just lose Microsoft? 93 00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:13,675 They went to IPG in May 94 00:04:13,708 --> 00:04:15,777 and they already have a creative director. 95 00:04:15,810 --> 00:04:18,413 Yeah, I'm thinking account executive. 96 00:04:18,447 --> 00:04:20,715 Oh, you're gonna move to the account side now? 97 00:04:20,749 --> 00:04:21,950 Not for me, for Debbie. 98 00:04:21,983 --> 00:04:23,718 I mean, do you know anyone there? 99 00:04:23,752 --> 00:04:25,420 Can you just see if they're looking? 100 00:04:25,454 --> 00:04:27,422 - Is she? - She might be. 101 00:04:27,456 --> 00:04:29,791 - Bad? - Might be. 102 00:04:29,824 --> 00:04:32,093 You know, Thom, you have your own job to worry about. 103 00:04:32,126 --> 00:04:35,564 Well, I-- I can worry about many things. 104 00:04:35,597 --> 00:04:37,932 You know, I can multi-worry. 105 00:04:37,966 --> 00:04:40,402 You know the only business worse than advertising? 106 00:04:40,435 --> 00:04:42,437 It's the messiah business. 107 00:04:42,471 --> 00:04:43,972 Go. The pay is lousy, 108 00:04:44,005 --> 00:04:46,074 the only benefit is self-congratulations, 109 00:04:46,107 --> 00:04:48,410 and the saved don't stay saved very long. 110 00:04:48,443 --> 00:04:50,812 Trust me, it's the foundation of my entire career 111 00:04:50,845 --> 00:04:52,447 as a headhunter. 112 00:04:52,481 --> 00:04:55,083 - Tall tea with honey and lemon? - Thanks. 113 00:04:55,116 --> 00:04:55,917 So? 114 00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:59,020 There's nothing moving out there, Thom. 115 00:04:59,053 --> 00:05:00,422 Nothing? 116 00:05:00,455 --> 00:05:02,090 Venti espresso? 117 00:05:02,123 --> 00:05:04,859 Okay, I'll make some calls. 118 00:05:04,893 --> 00:05:07,328 What is this? Why do I get that? 119 00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:10,965 Gottfrid: It's about creative priorities. 120 00:05:10,999 --> 00:05:13,001 And New York Life is not one of them. 121 00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:16,971 The team has done all they can on this account, 122 00:05:17,005 --> 00:05:20,108 but I say to hell with them. 123 00:05:20,141 --> 00:05:22,010 So you want to let them go? 124 00:05:22,043 --> 00:05:24,579 I think it's a relic of the old MGT, 125 00:05:24,613 --> 00:05:26,114 and we're busy now. 126 00:05:26,147 --> 00:05:28,016 I mean, we have the Coke pitch coming up, 127 00:05:28,049 --> 00:05:30,519 Rob Reiner wants to shoot the Keebler campaign. 128 00:05:30,552 --> 00:05:32,120 Man is a legend. 129 00:05:32,153 --> 00:05:34,789 Thom, isn't the army coming in tomorrow 130 00:05:34,823 --> 00:05:36,991 - to do some new project? - Mm-hmm. 131 00:05:37,025 --> 00:05:39,928 And, Debbie, you have the meeting with "I Can't Believe It's Butter." 132 00:05:39,961 --> 00:05:43,598 I mean, that is a big, big creative opportunity. 133 00:05:43,632 --> 00:05:47,469 I don't want to be wasting time with this-- this New York Life. 134 00:05:47,502 --> 00:05:49,471 We had a layoffs meeting this morning, 135 00:05:49,504 --> 00:05:52,474 and you're gonna let a $35 million account walk out the door? 136 00:05:52,507 --> 00:05:55,410 We're trying to build this into a creative shop, Thom. 137 00:05:55,444 --> 00:05:58,747 New York Life is never going to let us 138 00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:00,782 do the kind of work we want to do. 139 00:06:00,815 --> 00:06:05,153 Business today moves at the speed of ideas. 140 00:06:05,186 --> 00:06:10,492 You don't have to like it, but you cannot ignore it. 141 00:06:10,525 --> 00:06:13,161 I'm claiming no fault on this one, Jonathan. 142 00:06:13,194 --> 00:06:17,065 The whole insurance category went comedy a few years ago, 143 00:06:17,098 --> 00:06:19,634 and New York Life insisted on staying with tragedy, 144 00:06:19,668 --> 00:06:21,169 and now they're getting their butts kicked 145 00:06:21,202 --> 00:06:23,905 by the GEICO Geckos and the AFLAC gooses 146 00:06:23,938 --> 00:06:25,774 and the Charlie Browns of this world 147 00:06:25,807 --> 00:06:27,509 and blaming it on us. 148 00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:29,110 So what? 149 00:06:29,143 --> 00:06:31,179 Instead of saving the patient, we're just gonna let it die? 150 00:06:31,212 --> 00:06:34,783 I mean, if they want comedy, fuck it, let's give them comedy. 151 00:06:34,816 --> 00:06:36,050 How much time did they give us? 152 00:06:36,084 --> 00:06:38,520 None. They're coming in Friday. 153 00:06:38,553 --> 00:06:41,055 It's a formality. Review starts Monday. 154 00:06:41,089 --> 00:06:43,057 Well, if anybody has any creative brainstorms, 155 00:06:43,091 --> 00:06:44,526 we'll give it a shot. 156 00:06:44,559 --> 00:06:46,194 Otherwise, Gottfrid, it's your call. 157 00:06:46,227 --> 00:06:47,862 Thank you. 158 00:06:50,264 --> 00:06:52,901 Hey, Larry, are you okay? 159 00:06:54,836 --> 00:06:56,571 Larry? 160 00:07:08,016 --> 00:07:09,951 ( cash register screeching ) 161 00:07:09,984 --> 00:07:12,453 Male voice: Oh, what you doing, Thom? 162 00:07:15,857 --> 00:07:17,859 Oh, fuck off. 163 00:07:17,892 --> 00:07:19,961 They're just profiting from your fear. 164 00:07:19,994 --> 00:07:22,631 If you make one stupid gecko joke, 165 00:07:22,664 --> 00:07:26,835 I swear I will kick your fucking teeth in. 166 00:07:26,868 --> 00:07:28,903 - Fear of what? - Death, mate. 167 00:07:28,937 --> 00:07:32,173 The big sleep. Look at all this shit. 168 00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:35,844 Long life, more energy, tighter skin. 169 00:07:35,877 --> 00:07:37,145 You know what would happen 170 00:07:37,178 --> 00:07:39,047 if Julius took every one of those vitamins 171 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,715 every day for the rest of his life? 172 00:07:40,749 --> 00:07:42,150 - What? - He'd die. 173 00:07:42,183 --> 00:07:45,119 He'd drop fucking dead, just like everyone else. 174 00:07:45,153 --> 00:07:47,188 You're gonna die one day, Thom. 175 00:07:47,221 --> 00:07:50,258 So is Lee. And so is Julius. 176 00:07:50,291 --> 00:07:52,994 So what do you suggest I do about it, asshole? 177 00:07:53,027 --> 00:07:56,531 Walk around making profoundly lame jokes 178 00:07:56,565 --> 00:07:58,266 whilst whistling past the graveyard? 179 00:07:58,299 --> 00:08:00,669 No, not whistling, mate, laughing. 180 00:08:00,702 --> 00:08:02,070 Laughing's all we have. 181 00:08:02,103 --> 00:08:04,873 "Against the assault of laughter," 182 00:08:04,906 --> 00:08:07,508 said Mark Twain, "nothing can stand." 183 00:08:09,043 --> 00:08:11,646 Uh, also, mate-- hello? 184 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,214 Geckos can't whistle. 185 00:08:13,247 --> 00:08:15,049 ( laughs ) 186 00:08:16,184 --> 00:08:17,652 I warned you, didn't I? 187 00:08:17,686 --> 00:08:19,888 ( screaming ) 188 00:08:19,921 --> 00:08:21,923 ( groans ) 189 00:08:24,358 --> 00:08:27,295 Thom's voice: The problem is I'm Catholic. 190 00:08:27,328 --> 00:08:30,765 - ( Julius coughing ) - That's what pisses me off about God so much. 191 00:08:30,799 --> 00:08:34,302 He can never know us, but the Bible commands us to know Him. 192 00:08:34,335 --> 00:08:37,772 So, after 44 years, here's what I know about God-- 193 00:08:37,806 --> 00:08:40,308 the bastard loves an unhappy ending. 194 00:08:40,341 --> 00:08:42,577 - ( thermometer beeps ) - Jesus saves occasionally, 195 00:08:42,611 --> 00:08:46,314 but God, God kills with frightening regularity. 196 00:08:46,347 --> 00:08:48,182 What is it? 197 00:08:48,216 --> 00:08:49,718 - 102.6. - ( groans ) 198 00:08:49,751 --> 00:08:52,053 - We should give him something. - I gave him Tylenol. 199 00:08:52,086 --> 00:08:55,223 - Well, then we should give him something else. - You're not helping, Thom. 200 00:08:55,256 --> 00:08:57,358 That's why I want to give him something, to help him. 201 00:08:57,391 --> 00:08:59,928 ( sighs ) What do you want me to give him? 202 00:08:59,961 --> 00:09:04,666 I don't know-- Sudafed, Robitussin, Mylanta? 203 00:09:04,699 --> 00:09:07,268 - Mylanta? - Something. Anything. 204 00:09:07,301 --> 00:09:09,103 It's all bullshit, Thom. 205 00:09:09,137 --> 00:09:12,206 Lee, you're a skeptic. That's why I love you. 206 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,709 But to call all medicine bullshit is a bit much. 207 00:09:14,743 --> 00:09:15,744 Besides, you're Jewish. 208 00:09:15,777 --> 00:09:18,212 Oh, what does that mean? 209 00:09:18,246 --> 00:09:21,115 You have a thing for suffering. 210 00:09:21,149 --> 00:09:23,084 It's-- it gets you hot. 211 00:09:23,117 --> 00:09:24,819 Oh, and you chug medicine because you're a Catholic. 212 00:09:24,853 --> 00:09:26,254 You think God is gonna kill you. 213 00:09:26,287 --> 00:09:28,823 No, I think God is trying to kill him to get to me. 214 00:09:28,857 --> 00:09:31,693 All my mother ever did was pour medicine down my throat. 215 00:09:31,726 --> 00:09:34,362 I was a Jew living on St. Joseph's Aspirin. 216 00:09:34,395 --> 00:09:36,097 It never made me feel any better. 217 00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:37,365 Check the label on these things. 218 00:09:37,398 --> 00:09:39,868 Half the crap is sugar. It just makes it worse. 219 00:09:39,901 --> 00:09:41,903 - Shh. - Yeah, it just makes it worse. 220 00:09:41,936 --> 00:09:45,173 That's why Africans would kill for a teaspoon of Robitussin, 221 00:09:45,206 --> 00:09:46,841 because it makes it worse. 222 00:09:46,875 --> 00:09:48,142 You're in advertising, Thom. 223 00:09:48,176 --> 00:09:49,410 How can you believe their bullshit? 224 00:09:49,443 --> 00:09:51,980 If Robitussin is all we have in our battle 225 00:09:52,013 --> 00:09:54,248 against the great asshole in the sky, 226 00:09:54,282 --> 00:09:56,651 then I'll take the Robitussin. 227 00:09:56,685 --> 00:09:59,620 You want to give him something, give him something. 228 00:10:09,363 --> 00:10:11,733 ( sighs ) So what do you think I should give him. 229 00:10:11,766 --> 00:10:13,301 Jesus Christ. 230 00:10:16,304 --> 00:10:19,407 These may be our enemies abroad, 231 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:24,012 but, Generals, these are our enemies at home. 232 00:10:24,045 --> 00:10:25,914 Parents. 233 00:10:25,947 --> 00:10:28,783 Well-meaning, but a pain in the ass. 234 00:10:28,817 --> 00:10:30,451 Only 25% of parents today 235 00:10:30,484 --> 00:10:32,754 would encourage their children to join the military. 236 00:10:32,787 --> 00:10:34,022 Fuckin' boomers. 237 00:10:34,055 --> 00:10:35,790 Never met an enemy they didn't like. 238 00:10:35,824 --> 00:10:37,892 Yes. The good news-- 239 00:10:37,926 --> 00:10:41,295 children over 18 can enlist whether Mom likes it or not. 240 00:10:41,329 --> 00:10:45,099 We just need to remind them what else Mom doesn't like. 241 00:10:46,334 --> 00:10:48,770 She doesn't like their rap music, 242 00:10:48,803 --> 00:10:50,772 she doesn't like their video games, 243 00:10:50,805 --> 00:10:53,174 and she doesn't like their friends. 244 00:10:53,207 --> 00:10:55,309 The message needs to be, 245 00:10:55,343 --> 00:10:58,212 "You've never listened to your parents before, 246 00:10:58,246 --> 00:11:00,715 why should you listen to them now?" 247 00:11:02,216 --> 00:11:04,919 Thom, you feel bad about every army assignment. 248 00:11:04,953 --> 00:11:06,054 That's why we love you. 249 00:11:06,087 --> 00:11:07,922 General, Julius is sick, 250 00:11:07,956 --> 00:11:09,090 and I keep picturing him dying, 251 00:11:09,123 --> 00:11:10,725 so it's, you know, kind of tough 252 00:11:10,759 --> 00:11:13,327 encouraging other children to maybe die. 253 00:11:13,361 --> 00:11:17,065 We all die, Thom. The question is how we live. 254 00:11:17,098 --> 00:11:18,332 Maybe I should enlist. 255 00:11:18,366 --> 00:11:21,202 I'll bring Julius. Take Your Son to War Day. 256 00:11:21,235 --> 00:11:24,105 I'm hoping we don't get that desperate. 257 00:11:24,138 --> 00:11:25,473 ( laughs ) 258 00:11:25,506 --> 00:11:26,875 Be good. 259 00:11:28,376 --> 00:11:29,944 Rob: Look, don't get me wrong. 260 00:11:29,978 --> 00:11:31,379 I love this concept. 261 00:11:31,412 --> 00:11:33,982 You know me. I embrace reality. 262 00:11:34,015 --> 00:11:36,350 I love the fact that you want to imbue these characters 263 00:11:36,384 --> 00:11:39,087 with real emotions, real feelings, 264 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,755 flesh-and-blood characters 265 00:11:40,789 --> 00:11:45,293 that will live with the audience long after they've gone. 266 00:11:45,326 --> 00:11:47,829 To hell with neorealism, huh? 267 00:11:47,862 --> 00:11:49,898 Whatever happened to actual realism. 268 00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:51,165 - Am I right? - Yeah, totally. 269 00:11:51,199 --> 00:11:54,135 Yes, but the problem you have here, 270 00:11:54,168 --> 00:11:56,971 these scripts are... 271 00:11:57,005 --> 00:11:59,841 - They're not real. - Okay. 272 00:11:59,874 --> 00:12:01,409 No, no, no. I mean, what do you got here? 273 00:12:01,442 --> 00:12:02,844 What do you have here? 274 00:12:02,877 --> 00:12:05,046 You got "Fast Eddie Gets an F." 275 00:12:05,079 --> 00:12:07,415 "Buckets Loses a Race." 276 00:12:07,448 --> 00:12:09,017 We have an opportunity here 277 00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:11,419 to do something that resonates. 278 00:12:11,452 --> 00:12:16,257 You know, a... Weltanschauung, if you will. 279 00:12:16,290 --> 00:12:18,993 - Right. - Think Cassavetes. 280 00:12:19,027 --> 00:12:21,262 Think the Maysle brothers. 281 00:12:21,295 --> 00:12:22,931 That's what we're talking about here. 282 00:12:22,964 --> 00:12:25,800 - I love Cassavetes. - I know, I get it. 283 00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:28,569 They're little people, it's gonna be funny. 284 00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:29,470 I get that. 285 00:12:29,503 --> 00:12:32,006 But why can't we give them real problems? 286 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,276 And I'm not saying that, you know, J.J. should get cancer 287 00:12:35,309 --> 00:12:40,281 or that Mom should discover that she's got early-onset Alzheimer's 288 00:12:40,314 --> 00:12:41,449 or something like that. 289 00:12:41,482 --> 00:12:44,418 But what I'm saying is Nabokov says 290 00:12:44,452 --> 00:12:46,154 you put the characters up in a tree 291 00:12:46,187 --> 00:12:48,589 and then you throw rocks at 'em, right? 292 00:12:48,622 --> 00:12:50,825 I mean, look, they want reality, 293 00:12:50,859 --> 00:12:52,560 let's give 'em reality, huh? 294 00:12:52,593 --> 00:12:55,429 - Cassavetes. - Yes. Cinéma vérité. 295 00:12:55,463 --> 00:12:58,900 Love, life, hatred, anger, 296 00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:00,902 violence, injustice. 297 00:13:00,935 --> 00:13:04,205 All the wonderful frailty of the human condition. 298 00:13:04,238 --> 00:13:05,907 What do you say? 299 00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:09,110 Can you knock out four or five of these by lunch? 300 00:13:09,143 --> 00:13:11,112 Uh, yeah. Happy to. 301 00:13:11,145 --> 00:13:12,881 Rob: Great. I love it. 302 00:13:14,382 --> 00:13:15,583 Thom: I can't believe we're shopping 303 00:13:15,616 --> 00:13:17,485 when New York Life is about to walk. 304 00:13:17,518 --> 00:13:20,121 I'm not shopping for me. I'm shopping for you. 305 00:13:20,154 --> 00:13:23,257 I-- well, no, thanks. 306 00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:25,994 Just how much of an asshole do you have to be 307 00:13:26,027 --> 00:13:28,930 to keep your job these days? 308 00:13:28,963 --> 00:13:31,099 Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. 309 00:13:31,132 --> 00:13:32,600 You teach a man to dress, 310 00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:35,236 he holds onto his shallow, meaningless career 311 00:13:35,269 --> 00:13:37,939 for another couple of years. 312 00:13:37,972 --> 00:13:40,474 That's a lot of cat. 313 00:13:40,508 --> 00:13:44,112 New York Life is gonna walk no matter what we do. 314 00:13:44,145 --> 00:13:46,247 I'm just letting Gottfrid own it. 315 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,515 It's Debbie's biggest account. 316 00:13:47,548 --> 00:13:50,351 Yeah, you follow your heart, Thom. 317 00:13:50,384 --> 00:13:52,520 - That's why you're failing. - ( phone chimes ) 318 00:13:52,553 --> 00:13:55,256 Don't fall on your sword for Debbie. 319 00:13:55,289 --> 00:13:57,625 Yeah, well, you follow your head, 320 00:13:57,658 --> 00:14:00,094 which is why you're an alcoholic. 321 00:14:00,128 --> 00:14:02,496 You know, it's bad enough that Julius is gonna die, 322 00:14:02,530 --> 00:14:04,365 but I really don't want to be standing 323 00:14:04,398 --> 00:14:06,367 in a Jack Spade store when he does. 324 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,669 Why is Julius dying this time? 325 00:14:08,702 --> 00:14:10,404 He has a bug. 326 00:14:10,438 --> 00:14:13,507 So I spent all day imagining him being dead. 327 00:14:13,541 --> 00:14:15,643 Julius isn't dying. I'm dying. 328 00:14:15,676 --> 00:14:17,511 Julius is gonna be fine. 329 00:14:17,545 --> 00:14:21,115 Yeah, well, we're all dying. 330 00:14:21,149 --> 00:14:23,317 Not as quickly as me. 331 00:14:23,351 --> 00:14:25,519 What are you talking about? 332 00:14:25,553 --> 00:14:27,555 That's exactly what I said. 333 00:14:27,588 --> 00:14:29,523 "What are you talking about?" 334 00:14:29,557 --> 00:14:31,659 They said, "We don't know." 335 00:14:31,692 --> 00:14:34,929 Wait, wait, wait. They? Who's they? 336 00:14:34,963 --> 00:14:37,465 - What the fuck are you talking about? - The doctors. 337 00:14:37,498 --> 00:14:39,467 What doctors? 338 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,535 Don't give me that look, Thom. 339 00:14:41,569 --> 00:14:44,405 And don't say shit about this to anybody 340 00:14:44,438 --> 00:14:46,574 or you're gonna have the Swedes 341 00:14:46,607 --> 00:14:48,442 as global creative directors as well. 342 00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:50,278 They're doing tests. 343 00:14:50,311 --> 00:14:53,047 That's what they do when you're 52; they do tests. 344 00:14:53,081 --> 00:14:55,316 It's when they stop doing tests that you gotta worry. 345 00:14:55,349 --> 00:14:58,452 - Tests for what? - Everything. 346 00:14:58,486 --> 00:15:03,224 Gall bladder, pancreas, liver, cancer. 347 00:15:03,257 --> 00:15:09,030 Cirrhosis, fibro-fucking-myalgia. 348 00:15:09,063 --> 00:15:11,732 Could be the vodka. Could be the whiskey. Could be the gin. 349 00:15:11,765 --> 00:15:14,068 If you ask me, it's fucking vegetable juice. 350 00:15:14,102 --> 00:15:16,704 I'm seeing this girl, she got me into this juice thing-- 351 00:15:16,737 --> 00:15:20,441 kale, spinach, carrots, celery. 352 00:15:20,474 --> 00:15:22,476 It's gonna fucking kill me. I'm telling you. 353 00:15:22,510 --> 00:15:25,613 After all these years of alcohol and tobacco, 354 00:15:25,646 --> 00:15:28,649 my body just can't tolerate vitamins anymore. 355 00:15:30,218 --> 00:15:32,153 Medium asshole? 356 00:15:35,423 --> 00:15:37,058 Oh, fuck. I'm fired. 357 00:15:37,091 --> 00:15:38,459 You're not fired. 358 00:15:38,492 --> 00:15:40,594 - Am I fired? - Nobody's fired. 359 00:15:40,628 --> 00:15:43,731 Do you remember the campaign we presented to Tylenol? 360 00:15:43,764 --> 00:15:44,698 The shit fan. 361 00:15:44,732 --> 00:15:48,636 - The giant shit fan? - I loved that campaign. 362 00:15:48,669 --> 00:15:50,738 Write it up for New York Life. They're coming in tomorrow. 363 00:15:50,771 --> 00:15:52,740 Debbie'll get you the brief and support points. 364 00:15:52,773 --> 00:15:56,477 Key frame, 160, throw in some digital shit. 365 00:15:56,510 --> 00:15:58,012 We're saving this account. 366 00:15:58,046 --> 00:16:00,214 Oh, Jesus. Fuck. We're losing New York Life now? 367 00:16:00,248 --> 00:16:02,550 No. No, we're not losing New York Life. 368 00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:05,119 They want funny, we'll give 'em funny. 369 00:16:07,655 --> 00:16:09,190 Lee: I'm not one of those mothers... 370 00:16:09,223 --> 00:16:12,493 has to bring her kid to the doctor for every little thing. 371 00:16:12,526 --> 00:16:15,129 You ask me, I think science is the West's new religion, 372 00:16:15,163 --> 00:16:17,798 and I wasn't that crazy about the old one. 373 00:16:17,831 --> 00:16:21,535 Scientists have become our popes, rabbis, imams. 374 00:16:21,569 --> 00:16:22,703 Question it, you're a fool. 375 00:16:22,736 --> 00:16:24,638 Doubt it, you're a sinner. 376 00:16:24,672 --> 00:16:26,774 That's the way all religion works out, right? 377 00:16:26,807 --> 00:16:28,442 Absolute belief. 378 00:16:28,476 --> 00:16:30,644 It's not a placebo, it's not a sugar pill. 379 00:16:30,678 --> 00:16:33,381 It's not just letting the body do what nature taught it to do. 380 00:16:33,414 --> 00:16:36,717 Behold, it's a miracle from the new god-- science. 381 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:38,719 For you have found favor in his eyes. 382 00:16:38,752 --> 00:16:40,454 It's gonna be 23 bucks a pill. 383 00:16:40,488 --> 00:16:41,689 It's a bug. 384 00:16:43,491 --> 00:16:46,160 - That's it? - That's it. 385 00:16:46,194 --> 00:16:48,796 Well, aren't you gonna give him something? 386 00:16:48,829 --> 00:16:51,399 - It's going around. - Yeah, I know it's going around. 387 00:16:51,432 --> 00:16:52,400 - ( coughing ) - My son has it. 388 00:16:52,433 --> 00:16:54,402 You could try Robitussin. 389 00:16:54,435 --> 00:16:56,070 Robitussin. 390 00:16:56,104 --> 00:16:58,172 That's your big cure, Robitussin. 391 00:16:58,206 --> 00:17:01,609 Robitussin is just relief, Mrs. Payne. 392 00:17:01,642 --> 00:17:04,044 Cures are God's business. 393 00:17:07,848 --> 00:17:10,184 But you're a doctor! 394 00:17:17,325 --> 00:17:19,493 - What did they say? - They said they don't know. 395 00:17:19,527 --> 00:17:21,762 They said they'll do some tests. 396 00:17:23,864 --> 00:17:26,434 That's what they do at my age; they do tests. 397 00:17:26,467 --> 00:17:29,570 I went to look at that new cookie factory down the road. 398 00:17:29,603 --> 00:17:32,240 Cookie Manufacturers International. 399 00:17:32,273 --> 00:17:33,707 And? 400 00:17:33,741 --> 00:17:36,577 They got a machine there, Ma. You should see it. 401 00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,612 It's as big as the Hollow Tree itself. 402 00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:41,715 In one hour, they can make 2,000 cookies, 403 00:17:41,749 --> 00:17:44,385 package 'em, box 'em, and ship 'em out. 404 00:17:44,418 --> 00:17:45,786 So what's the good news? 405 00:17:45,819 --> 00:17:48,856 The cookies taste like crap. 406 00:17:48,889 --> 00:17:53,627 It still takes a Keebler to make a Keebler, gosh darn it. 407 00:17:53,661 --> 00:17:56,597 - How's Fast Eddie? - His fever's coming down. 408 00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:58,632 We're not out of the woods yet, though, but we're close. 409 00:17:58,666 --> 00:18:00,401 Fast Eddie! 410 00:18:00,434 --> 00:18:01,902 You feeling better, son? 411 00:18:01,935 --> 00:18:03,504 I thought I smelled cookies. 412 00:18:03,537 --> 00:18:06,407 Okay, okay, that's good. That's good. 413 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:07,675 Very good, excellent. 414 00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:10,611 Um, let's try it one more time 415 00:18:10,644 --> 00:18:12,480 from Fast Eddie's entrance, 416 00:18:12,513 --> 00:18:16,517 and, um, this time, I want you to think... 417 00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:21,622 "I saved the cat, and yet I am the cat." 418 00:18:21,655 --> 00:18:23,291 See? See what I'm getting at there? 419 00:18:23,324 --> 00:18:26,160 - See? We're-- - Yeah, yeah. Okay, thanks. 420 00:18:26,194 --> 00:18:27,795 Okay, good. All right, let's try it again. 421 00:18:27,828 --> 00:18:31,499 All right, here we go. Okay. All right. 422 00:18:31,532 --> 00:18:34,635 Quiet, quiet. 423 00:18:34,668 --> 00:18:37,805 - Fast Eddie. - You feeling better, son? 424 00:18:37,838 --> 00:18:40,774 I thought I smelled cookies. 425 00:18:40,808 --> 00:18:42,810 Okay, that-- that's good. 426 00:18:42,843 --> 00:18:45,246 Great. I love it. I love it. 427 00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:46,847 Uh, but on the day, 428 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,250 I want you to get under the skin of Fast Eddie. 429 00:18:49,283 --> 00:18:53,587 I want to feel the relief that he feels 430 00:18:53,621 --> 00:18:55,956 when he faces this brush with death, okay? 431 00:18:55,989 --> 00:18:58,659 - Great, thank you. - Okay, good, terrific. 432 00:18:58,692 --> 00:19:00,294 Hey. 433 00:19:00,328 --> 00:19:02,563 - Good, yes? - Those scripts, yes. 434 00:19:02,596 --> 00:19:03,564 Yeah, a bit more life than before. 435 00:19:03,597 --> 00:19:04,965 - Up a tree, no? - Yeah. 436 00:19:04,998 --> 00:19:06,734 You know, let's just keep writing more 437 00:19:06,767 --> 00:19:08,669 and we'll see where they go. 438 00:19:08,702 --> 00:19:12,273 Yeah? Thom, you can knock out a few more tonight, can't you? 439 00:19:12,306 --> 00:19:14,742 - Happy to. - Lovely. Fantastic. 440 00:19:14,775 --> 00:19:16,410 - Great work. - Thank you. 441 00:19:16,444 --> 00:19:20,548 - We worked a lot on this one. - Well, it shows. 442 00:19:20,581 --> 00:19:23,717 ( Julius coughing ) 443 00:19:29,857 --> 00:19:31,592 ( coughing continues ) 444 00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:33,561 ( sighs ) 445 00:19:33,594 --> 00:19:34,828 Gecko: Oi... ( laughs ) 446 00:19:34,862 --> 00:19:36,964 What's 13 inches long 447 00:19:36,997 --> 00:19:41,001 and makes women moan all night long? 448 00:19:41,034 --> 00:19:42,636 Fuck off. 449 00:19:42,670 --> 00:19:44,472 Crib death. Get it? 450 00:19:44,505 --> 00:19:46,840 ( laughs ) 451 00:19:46,874 --> 00:19:48,509 You're a fucking asshole. 452 00:19:48,542 --> 00:19:50,444 Hey, what'd you call me? 453 00:19:50,478 --> 00:19:53,481 I called you a fucking asshole, you fucking asshole. 454 00:19:53,514 --> 00:19:56,617 What? Fuck you, Thom. 455 00:19:56,650 --> 00:19:57,785 Excuse me? 456 00:19:57,818 --> 00:20:00,020 How easy you humans have it. 457 00:20:00,053 --> 00:20:02,390 Let me tell you something about geckos. 458 00:20:02,423 --> 00:20:04,492 We can't blink. 459 00:20:04,525 --> 00:20:05,859 We see everything-- 460 00:20:05,893 --> 00:20:08,996 death, disease, every second of it. 461 00:20:09,029 --> 00:20:12,733 You humans blink, what? 10,000 times a day? 15,000? 462 00:20:12,766 --> 00:20:14,735 But we geckos don't get to close our eyes, Thom. 463 00:20:14,768 --> 00:20:16,370 We don't get to look away. 464 00:20:16,404 --> 00:20:19,507 It's "A Clockwork Orange" in here, motherfucker. 465 00:20:19,540 --> 00:20:21,008 We see it all! 466 00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:25,779 So, yeah, we laugh, we joke, we chuckle, 467 00:20:25,813 --> 00:20:27,381 because that's all we can do. 468 00:20:27,415 --> 00:20:30,784 Try walking around with a frontal lobe, motherfucker, 469 00:20:30,818 --> 00:20:32,520 knowing you're gonna die. 470 00:20:32,553 --> 00:20:34,788 Knowing your son is gonna die. 471 00:20:34,822 --> 00:20:35,956 Knowing Lee is gonna die, 472 00:20:35,989 --> 00:20:37,691 that Jonathan is gonna die! 473 00:20:37,725 --> 00:20:39,760 Oh, woe is me. 474 00:20:39,793 --> 00:20:41,495 I'm a sad human. 475 00:20:41,529 --> 00:20:44,765 Why do bad things happen to good people? 476 00:20:44,798 --> 00:20:46,834 ( mock crying ) Fuck you! 477 00:20:46,867 --> 00:20:49,803 How many times did you blink today asshole, huh? 478 00:20:49,837 --> 00:20:52,072 - How many? - ( shouts ) 479 00:20:52,105 --> 00:20:54,775 ( gecko yelps ) 480 00:20:54,808 --> 00:20:58,912 My legs. I can't feel my legs. 481 00:20:58,946 --> 00:21:02,082 ( whimpering ) 482 00:21:02,115 --> 00:21:03,417 - Aah! - ( clatters ) 483 00:21:05,586 --> 00:21:07,688 Thom's voice: See, that's the problem with the Bible. 484 00:21:07,721 --> 00:21:09,957 Joy is just a setup. 485 00:21:09,990 --> 00:21:12,460 You're in Eden, now get the fuck out. 486 00:21:12,493 --> 00:21:15,429 You escape Egypt, now you're lost in the desert. 487 00:21:15,463 --> 00:21:17,731 "I gave you my only begotten son. 488 00:21:17,765 --> 00:21:20,701 Whoops, now he's dead." 489 00:21:20,734 --> 00:21:22,436 How's Julius? 490 00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:24,838 He's sleeping. 491 00:21:24,872 --> 00:21:27,908 - Robitussin? - Mm-hmm. 492 00:21:28,842 --> 00:21:30,444 His fever's finally down. 493 00:21:30,478 --> 00:21:33,347 He's not out of the woods yet, but he's closer. 494 00:21:35,015 --> 00:21:38,852 I think I figured out why my mom gave me so much medicine. 495 00:21:39,753 --> 00:21:41,021 To make you feel better? 496 00:21:41,054 --> 00:21:44,892 No, to make herself feel better. 497 00:21:49,897 --> 00:21:53,133 Thom's voice: I guess that's why happiness makes me nervous. 498 00:21:53,166 --> 00:21:55,769 God's got his characters up a tree 499 00:21:55,803 --> 00:21:58,606 and the bastard is throwing bricks. 500 00:21:58,639 --> 00:22:02,109 Mikal: Somewhere out there, there's a fan. 501 00:22:02,142 --> 00:22:04,645 We don't know who put it there, 502 00:22:04,678 --> 00:22:06,580 and we don't know why. 503 00:22:06,614 --> 00:22:08,882 The one thing we do know 504 00:22:08,916 --> 00:22:11,585 is that one day, sooner or later, 505 00:22:11,619 --> 00:22:14,855 - the fan will point at you. - ( cow moos ) 506 00:22:14,888 --> 00:22:17,991 That's why New York Life gives you the best coverage in the industry, 507 00:22:18,025 --> 00:22:22,029 because when it hits the fan, 508 00:22:22,062 --> 00:22:24,765 we've got you covered. 509 00:22:24,798 --> 00:22:27,034 New York Life-- you're covered. 510 00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:30,504 And we thought you could give these out 511 00:22:30,538 --> 00:22:34,875 to your new clients, 'cause, you know, 512 00:22:34,908 --> 00:22:36,544 'cause you're covered. 513 00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:42,483 From-- from the shit. 514 00:22:42,516 --> 00:22:44,051 I don't know. 515 00:22:44,084 --> 00:22:46,687 It's-- it's funny, but I... 516 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,657 It's not our kind of funny. 517 00:22:49,690 --> 00:22:50,891 I don't know. 518 00:22:50,924 --> 00:22:53,026 Well, you do, though. You do know, you know? 519 00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:55,896 That's what's special about New York Life. 520 00:22:55,929 --> 00:22:58,899 Look, you asked for comedy and we gave you comedy, 521 00:22:58,932 --> 00:23:00,501 and maybe we shouldn't have. 522 00:23:00,534 --> 00:23:03,103 Because you know what we all know-- 523 00:23:03,136 --> 00:23:07,708 life is a tragedy, we die, all of us. 524 00:23:07,741 --> 00:23:10,210 It's an unhappy ending every time. 525 00:23:10,243 --> 00:23:12,513 A smart-ass gecko isn't gonna change that. 526 00:23:12,546 --> 00:23:17,551 Charlie Brown doing a commercial for Met Life isn't gonna change that. 527 00:23:17,585 --> 00:23:19,787 I mean, Charlie Brown. 528 00:23:19,820 --> 00:23:22,790 Charlie Brown was born in 1946. 529 00:23:22,823 --> 00:23:24,992 I know that, because I was obsessed with him as a kid. 530 00:23:25,025 --> 00:23:27,595 I finally found someone whose depression 531 00:23:27,628 --> 00:23:28,962 was worse than mine. 532 00:23:28,996 --> 00:23:31,231 What does that make him? 70 years old? 533 00:23:31,264 --> 00:23:34,568 70. So, Chuck's parents, dead. 534 00:23:34,602 --> 00:23:35,969 Snoopy, dead. 535 00:23:36,003 --> 00:23:38,606 The Snoopy they bought to replace Snoopy, dead. 536 00:23:38,639 --> 00:23:40,874 Lucy has got Alzheimer's 537 00:23:40,908 --> 00:23:44,211 and Linus is riding around in one of those mobility scooters 538 00:23:44,244 --> 00:23:47,615 bitching about Obama and "secret Muslims." 539 00:23:47,648 --> 00:23:50,083 - ( laughter ) - Thom: That's life. 540 00:23:50,117 --> 00:23:51,819 And you're right, it's not funny. 541 00:23:51,852 --> 00:23:53,253 And New York Life knows that. 542 00:23:53,286 --> 00:23:55,689 You're the adults in the room. 543 00:23:55,723 --> 00:23:57,558 Stay that way. 544 00:23:57,591 --> 00:24:01,595 Fuck GEICO and AFLAC and all that lame-ass comedy. 545 00:24:01,629 --> 00:24:04,865 Stop worrying about what's going on at the kid's table. 546 00:24:04,898 --> 00:24:07,167 Sure, it's loud and it sounds like fun, 547 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,603 but when tragedy strikes, 548 00:24:09,637 --> 00:24:14,274 when lightning flashes and thunder claps, 549 00:24:14,307 --> 00:24:18,512 the terrified kids, and we're all terrified kids, 550 00:24:18,546 --> 00:24:21,615 will come looking for the grownups. 551 00:24:21,649 --> 00:24:23,016 You. 552 00:24:31,091 --> 00:24:33,694 ( phone chiming ) 553 00:24:38,766 --> 00:24:42,002 - Hello, Jon. - How are you, man? 554 00:24:42,035 --> 00:24:43,871 Shitty. Why? 555 00:24:43,904 --> 00:24:45,739 They dropped us, brother. 556 00:24:45,773 --> 00:24:47,207 New York Life. 557 00:24:48,776 --> 00:24:50,878 ( sighs ) How's Debbie? 558 00:24:50,911 --> 00:24:52,045 She's drinking. 559 00:24:52,079 --> 00:24:54,615 As am I. 560 00:24:54,648 --> 00:24:56,750 You did everything you could, Thom, 561 00:24:56,784 --> 00:24:58,619 and at the end of the day, 562 00:24:58,652 --> 00:25:01,655 this is a mark against Gottfrid. 563 00:25:01,689 --> 00:25:05,025 You got to stop trying to save everyone, Thom. 564 00:25:05,058 --> 00:25:07,761 I mean, these days it's hard enough to save yourself. 565 00:25:07,795 --> 00:25:11,198 I mean, Jesus only brought one guy back from the dead, and it was his best friend. 566 00:25:11,231 --> 00:25:13,801 That's not a great lesson for the kids. 567 00:25:16,336 --> 00:25:17,971 Thom? 568 00:25:18,005 --> 00:25:19,707 Fucker hung up on me. 569 00:25:19,740 --> 00:25:21,809 I heard they were lovers. 570 00:25:23,010 --> 00:25:25,178 - Jesus and Lazarus? - ( chuckles ) 571 00:25:25,212 --> 00:25:27,114 I thought it was Judas that fucked Jesus. 572 00:25:27,147 --> 00:25:29,717 ( both laugh ) 573 00:25:34,154 --> 00:25:38,692 You know there's no hope of a relationship here. 574 00:25:38,726 --> 00:25:41,094 It's the hope that causes pain. 575 00:25:46,133 --> 00:25:47,968 ( whirring ) 576 00:25:48,001 --> 00:25:49,670 Gecko: Oh, come on, mate. 577 00:25:49,703 --> 00:25:52,139 You don't see the humor in this? 578 00:25:52,172 --> 00:25:55,142 An insurance company wanting to pursue comedy 579 00:25:55,175 --> 00:25:56,810 that ends in tragedy? 580 00:25:56,844 --> 00:25:59,680 That's funny. ( laughs ) 581 00:25:59,713 --> 00:26:02,215 An ad exec trying to save himself 582 00:26:02,249 --> 00:26:04,251 by saving another ad exec? 583 00:26:04,284 --> 00:26:07,120 A man trying to save his son 584 00:26:07,154 --> 00:26:09,757 while convincing other sons to go to war? 585 00:26:09,790 --> 00:26:11,725 It's fucking hilarious! 586 00:26:11,759 --> 00:26:13,060 ( laughing ) 587 00:26:14,762 --> 00:26:16,129 You might be right. 588 00:26:16,163 --> 00:26:17,865 Of course I'm right. 589 00:26:17,898 --> 00:26:19,166 It's only tragedy 590 00:26:19,199 --> 00:26:21,268 when you don't see the comedy, Thom. 591 00:26:21,301 --> 00:26:23,236 - It's only tragedy... - ( car engine starts ) 592 00:26:23,270 --> 00:26:25,873 ...when you don't see the comedy. 593 00:26:27,174 --> 00:26:29,176 Thom? Thom! 594 00:26:29,209 --> 00:26:31,411 - No! - ( crunches ) 595 00:26:31,444 --> 00:26:33,781 ( groaning ) 596 00:26:35,816 --> 00:26:37,885 Asshole. 597 00:26:37,918 --> 00:26:41,288 Damn you, Thom. Fuck you. 598 00:26:48,428 --> 00:26:51,198 - Hey. - ( groans ) 599 00:26:51,231 --> 00:26:53,901 - How is Jules? - 99. 600 00:26:53,934 --> 00:26:56,303 Mm, okay. 601 00:26:56,336 --> 00:26:59,807 - What about you? - 102. 602 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,675 Oh, boy. 603 00:27:01,709 --> 00:27:04,945 Thom's voice: "Dear Jesus," Nabokov wrote, 604 00:27:04,978 --> 00:27:06,914 "do something." 605 00:27:08,115 --> 00:27:09,683 Oh, shit! 606 00:27:09,717 --> 00:27:11,084 I'm so sorry. 607 00:27:11,118 --> 00:27:12,352 It's okay, honey. Don't worry. 608 00:27:12,385 --> 00:27:15,823 I think it looks better with the puke. 609 00:27:15,856 --> 00:27:18,458 I do, honestly. I think it's more punk. 610 00:27:18,491 --> 00:27:20,193 Thom's voice: That's why you have to laugh, 611 00:27:20,227 --> 00:27:22,295 so that when you die and go to wherever 612 00:27:22,329 --> 00:27:25,465 and God says, "How'd you like that cancer I gave you, sinner? 613 00:27:25,498 --> 00:27:27,801 How'd you like that AIDS and that war 614 00:27:27,835 --> 00:27:30,437 and that misery and all that lovely pain?" 615 00:27:30,470 --> 00:27:33,040 you get to fold your arms across your chest, smile, 616 00:27:33,073 --> 00:27:36,376 and say, "Fuck you, asshole. I laughed." 617 00:27:36,409 --> 00:27:37,911 I should have gotten large. 618 00:27:37,945 --> 00:27:39,913 - ( laughing ) - Yeah? 619 00:27:39,947 --> 00:27:42,850 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 620 00:27:42,883 --> 00:27:45,318 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 621 00:27:45,352 --> 00:27:48,221 * If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it * 622 00:27:48,255 --> 00:27:50,924 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 623 00:27:50,958 --> 00:27:53,794 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 624 00:27:53,827 --> 00:27:56,363 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 625 00:27:56,396 --> 00:27:59,232 * If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it * 626 00:27:59,266 --> 00:28:01,869 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 627 00:28:01,902 --> 00:28:04,938 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 628 00:28:04,972 --> 00:28:07,274 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 629 00:28:07,307 --> 00:28:10,143 * If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it * 630 00:28:10,177 --> 00:28:13,013 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 631 00:28:13,046 --> 00:28:15,816 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 632 00:28:15,849 --> 00:28:18,151 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands * 633 00:28:18,185 --> 00:28:21,088 * If you're happy and you know it, then motherfucking show it * 634 00:28:21,121 --> 00:28:23,757 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your motherfucking hands * 635 00:28:23,791 --> 00:28:26,760 * If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it * 636 00:28:26,794 --> 00:28:30,197 * If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! *