-Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show, fit as a fiddle, Wayne Brady.
The picture of health, Keegan-Michael Key.
Looking a little washed-out, Colin Mochrie.
And code blue, code blue. Ryan Stiles.
And I am Aisha Tyler. Let's go make some stuff up.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Whoo!
Hey, everybody.
Welcome. Welcome to the show
where everything is made up and the points don't matter.
Now, we've got a great show for you tonight,
so let's get started with a game we call "Let's Make a Date."
This is for all four of our performers,
so if you'd like to come on down, please.
Here's how this game works.
Keegan, you're appearing on a dating show,
and Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are the contestants
that are hoping to be chosen by you for a date.
But they're not the kind of people that you would expect
or ever want to take on a date anywhere,
because each of them has been given a strange
characteristic or identity.
And you're gonna try to question them
about their suitability for a date,
and in the process, guess who they are.
So, if you're all ready, Keegan, go make a date.
-[ Deep voice ] Hey, everybody out there. My name is Tammy.
[ Laughter ]
I've been looking for a man for a long time,
and have no idea why I can't find one.
Bachelor Number One, can you tell me if you were a flower,
what kind of flower would you be?
[ Smooches ]
[ Imitating trumpet playing ]
[ Heavy accent ] Ha. The type of flower that I would be
would be one that would be found in a cave of riches.
And speaking of riches, you could have all the riches
if you would take this one off of my hands.
For I know that you have been brought by the genie to take,
ugh, her away to your castle.
[ Imitating trumpet playing ]
-Sexy!
Bachelor Number Two,
if you and I were gonna go on a date together,
and you came to pick me up,
what kind of car would you be driving?
-Hmm.
[ Laughter ]
I don't live to drive.
I like to be driven.
I've a special...
[ Laughter ]
[ Inhales deeply ]
[ Gulping ]
-Ah, yes, she's worth so much.
[ Laughter ]
-I'm a very sensual being.
I love to be caressed.
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
Oh!
[ Sucking ]
Oh, I got to cut down on men.
-Rrrr!
And, Bachelor Number Three,
if we were sitting and having a romantic meal
in a fine dining restaurant, what would be the cuisine?!
-Well, it would probably be caviar and fish eggs.
[ Slurred ] We're out of champagne back here.
We're out of champagne in the back.
Everything alright back here, sir?
Baby, I miss you. When you coming back?
[ Laughter and applause ]
Sir, Joanne's here.
[ Blowing ]
-Pop.
[ Laughter ]
-No, Colin.
-Shh.
-Keegan, do you think you know who everybody is?
-I think I do. I believe Bachelor Number One is Aladdin.
-Well, you're in the right ballpark.
What does -- What does Aladdin want you to do?
-Wants me to take the genie away.
-Wants you take someone away. Not a genie, though.
-Oh. Aladdin is sick of Jasmine. And...
-I'm gonna give you that. Yes. You can have it.
I'm just gonna give it to you, because I-I --
because let's move on to the next one.
-Okay, yeah. -That's fine, yeah.
-So Aladdin's a swinger now?
[ Laughter ]
-Do you want to tell him who you really were?
-I'm a sultan trying to marry off my daughter.
-Ah-ha-ha. Okay.
-Crystal clear.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-What about Colin?
-Bachelor Number Two is a feral tree cat in heat.
Or a really large arboreal tree frog in heat.
-No. -Wrong!
-No, but I will give you 1,000 points
for using the word "arboreal."
This is your opportunity to turn things around, Keegan.
-Yeah. I think I'm going 0-3 on this one.
I think that Ryan is --
is a deranged clown who works at children's parties.
[ Laughter and applause ]
I'm giving it to you.
-Yes, I'm gonna give it to you anyway.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-God bless you.
-5 points to whoever can give me a hug
at the end of the show...
and not creep me out.
-So no points. -So we're out.
We're all out.
-And now we're gonna play a game called "Sound Effects."
This is a game for Ryan and Colin, so come on down.
We're gonna need the help
of two volunteers from the audience.
Hey!
Oh, yes.
Hi, hi. What's your name?
-Sherry. -Sherry.
Come on with me, Sherry!
Join the guys up onstage.
-Hi, Sherry. How are you?
-Sherry? -What's your name?
-Todd. -Todd. Come with me, Todd.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Go up onstage with the guys.
Todd and Sherry, I'm gonna explain to you how this goes,
and what I -- It's adorable,
because right now it looks like a PTA
meeting at a high school, doesn't it?
Now, the way this is gonna work
is that Ryan and Colin are gonna perform a scene,
and Sherry and Todd are gonna provide
the sound effects, okay?
Sherry, you're gonna do the sound effects for Colin.
Todd, you're gonna do sound effects for Ryan.
You're dressed almost identically.
This is gonna work wonderfully.
And your scene is that Dr. Frankenstein,
played by Ryan,
and Igor, played by Colin, are working in their lab
on the night of a storm, and they bring a monster to life
just before an angry mob appears.
Take it away.
-Igor. -Yes?
-Is everything set? -Everything is set, master.
-Where's the body? Where's my monster?
-I'm just going to -- -[ Groans ]
-Oh, here he is. -Oh, there. Right there.
-I'm sorry, I didn't see him, Igor.
-That's alright. -I haven't got my glasses on.
-Shall I attach -- -Oh, God, he's --
-He's gigantic. -Yes. Well, yes, he is.
-And, listen. -[ Screeches ]
-Oh.
-I hate that cat! -I don't care.
-I don't like the cat.
-Get along with the cat, or leave the castle.
-Yes, master.
-[ Imitates door opening, closing ]
-Shall I attach the electronolithic --
-I'll tell you what to do! -[ Whimpers ]
-Attach the electrodes.
-[ Imitates clicking ] -Eee!
-Damn it.
-I hate that cat!
I hate that -- -Look before you do things.
-[ Imitates door opening and closing ]
-Alright, the electrodes are attached.
Stand back. I'm going to throw the switch.
-[ Imitates explosion ]
Oh! -Oh!
-Check the wires. Check the fuses.
-It really shouldn't blow up like this.
-[ Groaning ] -We're losing a lot of...
Oh, no. Ooh. He's starting to come around.
My God, I-I think he actually said something.
-[ High-pitched voice ] Hi.
[ Laughter ]
-Perhaps I should have put the electrodes on his genitalia.
-No. Up here on his head. On his head.
-Zip! -Oh.
-I shall pull the lever. -Did you fix the fuse?
-I fixed the fuse. -Alright.
Hopefully your shock is much louder than mine.
-Crank! -Oh.
You've ripped your pants. You've ripped your pants again.
-I'll sew them up later.
I don't care.
-Oh, my God, he's getting up!
-Ohhhh!
-Wait. Where'd you get the cow?
-I don't know. -[ Moos ]
-Oh, my God. -Oh!
-The villagers.
-There's an angry mob heading this way.
-[ Whining ]
-Of dogs.
An angry mob of dogs.
-I'll get my bow and arrow. -They're after my cat.
-Don't worry, master. I'll protect us.
-Whoosh!
-You've split your pants again. -I know!
-Don't do this. This is what's doing it.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hey. Thank you, Todd. Thank you, Sherry.
Give it up for Todd and Sherry.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Don't go away.
We'll be right back with more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this.
♪♪
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" --
the show where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
-They don't matter.
-And now let's play a game called "Forward Rewind"
featuring all four of our performers.
So, guys, step on down here. -Oy.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-You ready? -Okay.
So, guys, you are gonna be acting out a scene, alright,
but at certain points, we're gonna hear a sound
that's gonna instruct you to either go forward
or rewind the action.
Can we hear those sounds, please?
-Forward.
Rewind.
-Which is which?
[ Laughter ]
-It's hard to tell them apart, isn't it?
-It is, yeah. -So, your scene is that
Wayne and Colin are two motorcycle-gang rivals
fighting over sexy biker chick Ryan.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Whoo!
-Now, after a while, Ryan's gonna ride in
and try to break them up.
And then a crazy homeless guy,
Keegan, enters with a shopping cart,
annoyed that they're fighting on his turf.
-Mm. Yes. -Take it away.
-[ Imitates engine revving ]
-Rewind.
-[ Imitates engine revving ]
-Forward.
[ Both imitating engine revving ]
-Hey. Chickening out?
-I ain't chicken out nothing, brother.
-Well, you looked like you were chickening out.
-Oh, I heard you were chickening out.
-Oh, I heard you. -Alright, here we go.
Both of us race. Then we'll race for her hand.
-[ Imitates engine whirring ]
[ Imitates horn honking ]
[ Imitates engine whirring ]
-Rewind.
-[ Imitates engine whirring ]
[ Imitates horn honking ]
[ Imitates engine whirring ]
-We'll race for her hand.
-Forward. -We'll race for her hand.
-[ Imitates horn honking ]
[ Imitates engine whirring ]
-Hey, beautiful. -Hello, boys.
-Hey, baby. -Hello, boys.
-[ Laughs ] Oh, oh. -Oh! Oh, yeah!
-Oh!
-I understand there's gonna be a fight over me.
-Hey, baby, look what I'm gonna do.
Pow! Ohh!
-I have a jaw of granite!
-No, no. I meant a fight on your bikes.
-[ Grunting ]
[ Imitates clicking ]
[ Both imitate engines revving ]
-[ Muttering ]
What the hell? What the hell?
Be quiet, Demetrius! -Rewind.
-[ Muttering ]
-Forward.
-[ Muttering ]
Wait a minute, Demetrius. Don't say nothing to these people.
I'm gonna get the -- Listen.
If you all get off my turf,
I'll give you this diaper, only slightly used.
-Rewind. -Only slightly used.
I'll give you. -Forward.
-Only slightly used.
-You can't stop them. They're racing for me.
-Oh, then, you're beautiful. I'm gonna race for you, as well.
-I'll flag everybody down.
Ready? Set?
Race for me.
-[ Imitating engine revving ]
-Rewind. Back to the top.
-[ Imitating engine revving ]
-Ready? Set? Race for me.
-[ Grunting ]
-You can't, because they're racing and fighting for me.
-Oh. Oh, oh, I'm so crazy, we was going in the reverse.
[ Laughter ]
You know what? You're beautiful.
I'm gonna race for you, as well.
[ Muttering ]
Ehh!
Wait a minute. No, wait a minute.
-You want your diaper? -I want my diaper.
-You want your diaper? -Yes.
The reason I'm going crazy is 'cause I'm crazy!
Slightly used, if you all want this diaper?
You got to get off my turf.
[ Speaking gibberish ]
-No, no. [ Buzzer ]
-Awesome.
Got a little confusing.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-This is what happens.
Aisha, when you're so immersed in character, you can't [Laughs]
I understand. I'm getting no points.
I get it. I get it.
-I love the looks from the three of us.
-Yeah, I was like...
"Are we still doing the scene?"
-3,000 points to Colin,
Ryan, and Wayne for just sticking with it.
And 5 points to Keegan for effort.
-For doing my own scene? -Yes. Yes.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Don't go away.
We'll be right back with more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this.
♪♪
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" --
the show where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
Now we're gonna play a game called "Greatest Hits,"
and this is a game for Ryan, Colin, and Wayne,
with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor
on piano and guitar.
So what I need is a suggestion from the audience, okay?
Could you guys give me the name of a glamorous job?
[ Shouting suggestions ]
Exterminator is not glamorous.
Hairdresser. Hairdresser.
And the guy who called out "exterminator"
must be an exterminator.
[ Laughter ]
Okay, so the name of your album is "Songs of Hairdressers."
-Alright. -Take it away.
-We'll be right back to our documentary on methane dealers
"Breaking Bad Wind"...
[ Laughter ]
...in just a second.
But I think we have probably the greatest album
we have ever sold to these people.
-Right. "Songs of the Hairdresser."
I have a feeling I'll do most of the talking here.
You know, Col, I love the Cajun people.
-Oh, who doesn't? -Oh, without Cajun people,
we wouldn't have reality TV.
And, you know, there's so many Cajun songs
and so many about the hairdressing field.
-Oh, Cajun. -And this next one's
gonna make you squeal like a pig.
That Cajun hairdressing hit, "Blow Dry."
-Ooh.
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
-Ooh!
[ Cajun accent ] I got guarantees on it.
What you all say?
Listen here, listen here, listen here.
♪ Oh, guarantee ♪
♪ My, my hair ♪
♪ Oh, advice for you, mon frère ♪
♪ When it gets wet, what's you gonna do, don't cry ♪
♪ All you do, plug it in and start to blow-dry ♪
♪ A-go "shzz," "pah!" ♪
♪ There we go ♪
♪ Careful of your hairstyle, get an Afro ♪
♪ Challenge ♪
♪ That is what I say ♪
♪ Plug it in there, blow-drying every day ♪
♪ Oh, you could air-dry by running through the woods ♪
♪ But, no, no, mon cher, that is no, no good ♪
♪ Just plug it in, and don't you try ♪
♪ Don't put it next to water if you have to blow-dry ♪
♪ Blow-dry ♪
♪ This is what I'm playing ♪
♪ Blow-dry ♪
♪ Oh, guaranteed to see the blow dry ♪
[ Cheers and applause ] Merci. Merci.
Merci.
-You know, it's interesting. We have so many great artists.
And usually a lot of them started with a group
and now went on to solo, uh, careers.
-I stopped listening about 10 seconds ago.
-Yeah, I know.
Well, like, Beyoncé was with Destiny's Child.
-Yes. -Well, our next singer,
one of my favorites,
started with a group, Gnarls Barkley.
-Gnarls Barkley. -Yeah, and, of course...
-Basketball player. Great basketball player.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
[ Sighs ]
But since, of course, he's gone on his --
doing solo and is known, of course, as CeeLo.
Solo CeeLo.
And oddly, he is follically impaired.
-Oh. -And yet that did not stop him
from doing a song about hair,
because people with hair,
although they judge a little too much
in my opinion... [ Laughter ]
...I've had a normal life.
I've had sex and everything.
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
-We kid.
Oh, you really have? -Yeah, I have.
-Oh, you have?
-But sit back and listen to this great CeeLo
interpretation called "No Curls, Flat Scalp."
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
"No Curls, Flat Scalp."
♪♪
-♪ I see your head ♪
♪ Just look at it shining ♪
♪ People know exactly what I see ♪
♪ You get a little pomade ♪
♪ Put it on the side and ♪
♪ Oh, then maybe you can be just like me ♪
♪ Because all I want to do is just take it and turn it ♪
♪ And make it into the tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny curls ♪
♪ And, oh, yeah, all you got to do is listen to me ♪
♪ Yeah, curl you, on your flat head ♪
♪ Now tell me what you want to do ♪
♪ Now you got to get curls on a flat head ♪
♪ Yeah, screw you ♪
♪ Now, curls on a flat head ♪
♪ Now, how silly do you think that looked to you ♪
Now, looky here.
♪ Because maybe my curl don't drop to the side ♪
♪ And maybe it don't walk ♪
♪ But that's okay, 'cause my pomade ♪
♪ It makes my baby hair talk ♪
♪ I got a little Jheri curl from 1983 ♪
♪ That I want to bring on back ♪
♪ And you see the beauty is, you can be sexy if you like me ♪
♪ Bald and black ♪
♪ I said, curly, curly ♪
♪ Curly side ♪
♪ I got a curly, curly side on a flat head ♪
♪ Yeah, I got it curly ♪
♪ Curl on the side ♪
♪ I've got it curly, curly on the side of a flat head ♪
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Really ended up good.
-Don't go away. We'll find out who the winner is
right after this on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
♪♪
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
where I have decided that the winner of tonight's show
is our lovely and shiny guest star,
Keegan-Michael Key. As a reward, I want you guys
to read out the credits as a tough drill instructor,
whipping your new recruits into shape.
Thank you for watching, and good night.
-Alright, Leveson!
I want you to get down and give me 20, Patterson!
You too, Mulville. And Brady. And Stiles.
And Mark Leveson. Get down there.
15. Jed Leventhall. Don't think you're not doing it.
Where the hell is Geraldine Dowd and Carrie Havel?
-[ Chanting ] Whose line is it?
-What the hell is that?
-20 bucks. -$20? Okay, you're up.
You're good to go. Yeah.
Where is Ray Miller?
I want him down here doing 20. -Yeah!
-I'm gonna get down here and do 20.
Huh!
♪♪