-Good evening, everybody,
And welcome to "whose line is it anyway?"
On tonight's show, say hello to my little friend, wayne brady.
Took the cannolis, left the gun -- jeff davis.
"I know it was you, fredo," colin mochrie.
And he'll make you an offer you can't refuse, ryan stiles.
I'm aisha tyler.
Let's have some fun.
[ cheers and applause ]
O.M.G.
[ cheers and applause ]
Yes.
Hello and welcome, everybody, to "whose line is it anyway?"
The show where everything is made up,
And the points do not matter.
We've got a great show for you tonight,
So let's get started with a game we call "get down."
And -- yes. [ cheers and applause ]
This is for all four of our performers,
And they are going to be accompanied by laura hall
And linda taylor on piano.
[ cheers and applause ]
The guys are going to act out a scene,
And when they hear the phrase "get down,"
They have to break into rap.
[ cheers and applause ]
-That is some bull.
[ laughter ]
-You can't wait to do it. You know you can't wait.
And then when they hear "okay," they must return to the scene
That they were involved in previously.
So you're scene, wayne, is you are a female doctor
From the big city who has newly arrived in a small rural town.
Jeff, you are the arrogant doctor
Whose practice she is joining.
Ryan is a pregnant young woman coming to give birth.
And, colin, you're somebody else.
[ laughter ]
Let's go.
-[ imitates knocking on door ] -it's open.
-Hello.
-You must be that fancy new city doctor
What come to take over my practice.
-Well, I didn't come to take over your practice.
I really came to shed some light light onto your --
-Get down.
♪♪
-♪ now, what I came to do ♪
♪ my mission was an itty-bitty ♪
♪ I came on an airplane from this big old city ♪
♪ I came to explain to the nitty-gritty ♪
♪ I can teach you a thing ♪
♪ so just listen, listen ♪
♪ you a cow doctor, you just nothing ♪
♪ you got your business, put my head in, let me butt in ♪
♪ all you know is dogs, you don't know medicine ♪
♪ if you want me I'll go back to the very beginning again ♪
-Okay. -♪ I'm a city doctor ♪
And that's what I do.
[ cheers and applause ]
-I'm only 39 years old, but I've been
The general practitioner in this town for 37 years.
And I ain't about to let no city slicker lassie come over
And take over my position. -Hm. Well --
-You gots to prove yourself.
-Where's the next patient? I'll prove myself gladly.
-I can hear a horse coming up right now.
-[ panting ] hi.
I have a 4:00 appointment.
It's my first time here. -Sir --
-Get down.
♪♪
-♪ hey ♪
♪ I need a little advice, a little nutrition ♪
♪ that's why I walked into your institution ♪
♪ been eating too much shrimps, been drinking too much coke ♪
♪ oh, my god, my water just broke ♪
-♪ water broke, broke, broke, broke, broke, broke ♪
♪ broke, broke, broke, broke, broke ♪
♪ here it comes, here it comes, here it comes ♪
♪ oh, oh, here it comes ♪
-Okay. -♪ here it comes ♪
-Alright, let's see what you can do. Deliver that baby.
-Oh, my gosh.
Oh. -Oh, my god. He's hideous.
-I think I'm going to need a stitch or two.
[ laughter ]
-Come here. Sarah, come here. -Get down.
♪♪
-♪ I was in there ♪
♪ I was bored ♪
♪ please cut the umbilical cord ♪
♪ I go, I'm out and around ♪
♪ sorry I weighed over 50 pounds ♪
[ laughter ]
-♪ yo, sarah, sarah, sarah ♪
♪ for 37 years, I've been in the doctor biz ♪
♪ I just delivered a kid, but I can't tell what it is ♪
♪ boy, girl, I just don't know ♪ -♪ no ♪
-♪ let's shove it back in and see if it will grow ♪
-♪ oh, no, oh, no, no, no, no ♪
♪ oh, no, oh, no, no, no, no ♪
[ buzzer ]
[ cheers and applause ]
-♪ oh, no, no, no ♪
-[ laughs ]
-What an odd sensation. -Yes.
I'm smelling a spin-off. -For you first time mothers,
That's pretty much what it's like.
[ laughter ]
-Never has the word "no" been used more forcefully.
[ laughter ]
Okay, next up is a game called...
"scenes from a hat."
[ cheers and applause ]
This game is for all four of our performers.
Now, before the show, we asked the audience
To write down scenes they'd like to see acted out
By our performers, and I've got the best ones in this hat.
[ laughter ]
I'm going to read them out, and we're going to see
How many the performers can act out.
You guys ready? -Uh-huh.
-Oh, what's going to happen?
Alright "master plans of the least ambitious supervillains."
[ laughter ]
-[ imitates metallic clicking ]
The parking meter is now non-functionable.
[ laughter ]
[ buzzer ]
[ applause ]
-I shall finish every single crossword puzzle
In the back of the airline magazine
Before the next passenger.
[ laughs maniacally ]
[ buzzer ] elvis.
[ laughter ]
-You will never find the other sock.
[ laughter ]
[ buzzer ]
-Sprinkle your salt now, my friends.
[ laughter ]
[ buzzer ]
-I challenge you, gravity, defy me.
Ha.
[ laughter ]
[ buzzer ]
-[ imitates metallic clicking ]
[ laughter ]
Left the toilet seat up.
[ laughter ]
[ buzzer ] -okay.
[ laughs ]
"hit shows on the hillbilly channel."
[ laughter ]
-Hi. Welcome back to "eat it or not."
[ chomps ] not.
[ buzzer ] [ laughter ]
-Welcome to the new game show, "lying through your tooth."
[ buzzer ] [ laughter ]
-And now we're back to "who my daddy? Where he gone at?"
[ laughter ]
[ buzzer ]
-Welcome back to "gordon ramsay's roadkill."
[ laughter ] [ buzzer ]
-"never before scene 'coming out of the closet' episodes
Of classic tv programs."
[ laughter ]
-Wilbur, get in here.
[ laughter ]
[ laughs ]
That was it. -Oh.
[ buzzer ]
[ laughter ]
-I told you, hannibal. I ain't getting on no airplane.
For no-o-body.
[ laughter ]
[ buzzer ]
-Lucy, I have some esplaining to do.
-Waaaaah.
[ buzzer ]
-[ laughs ]
-Oh, I'm in this?
[ laughter ]
-Colonel hogan, I can't escape my sexuality.
[ laughter ]
-I know nothing!
[ buzzer ]
-What, lassie?
[ laughter ]
What, lassie?
Oh, lassie.
[ chuckles ]
[ laughter ]
-Oh no.
"what aisha is thinking right now."
-I got nothing.
[ laughter ]
-[ laughs ]
[ buzzer ] -no. No.
I'm s--
[ laughter ]
[ buzzer ]
-I really should have negotiated longer.
[ laughter ] [ buzzer ]
-"unlikely cartoon characters to cameo in an adult movie."
[ laughter ]
-[ as scooby-doo ] ruh-oh.
[ buzzer ]
[ laughter and applause ]
-[ as porky pig ] [ stammering ]
That's all folks.
[ laughter ] [ buzzer ]
-[ as elmer fudd ] be vewy vewy quiet.
[ laughter ]
[ buzzer ]
-Do not go away. We'll be right back
With much more "whose line is it anyway?"
Right after this.
[ cheers and applause ]
-Welcome back to "whose line is it anyway?"
The show where is everything is made up
And the points don't matter.
Now, next up is a game called "party quirks."
[ cheers and applause ]
In this game, jeff is hosting a party,
And wayne, colin, and ryan are going to be his guests,
But each of them have been given a strange quirk or identity,
And what jeff has to do is guess what those quirks are.
So, wayne, colin, and ryan,
You're going to line up over there,
I'm going to bring you in one at a time with the doorbell,
And, jeff, you are going to get the party started.
-That I can do. -Excellent.
-Okay, I've got everything I need.
Oh, my god. I'm so nervous.
[ doorbell rings ]
Gah!
Hi. Come on in.
-Hello, hello.
Alright. Hold still, please.
[ laughter ]
Spread your arms out, please.
Okay. Alright. -Okay.
It's great to have you here at the place.
There's chips and dip over there.
Theres --
-[ beeping ]
[ cheers and applause ]
-Honey, I'm so sorry. Go to bed. You have school in the morning.
[ laughter ]
[ doorbell rings ] stay right here.
Make yourself at home. Hello.
-Hi. How are you? I'm so glad you invited me to the party.
-So happy to have you. -Oh.
[ sneezing ] [ laughter ]
Sorry, I just...
-Do you have a cold or something?
-I'm just feeling --
Can I have one of these potato chips?
-Help yourself. They're all for you.
-Oh. Is that salt and vinegar?
-Yeah. -[ grunting ]
[ imitates retching ]
Gah!
[ doorbell rings ]
[ laughter ]
-You're good.
-Oh, hi, hi. Come on in.
Watch the puddle there. There's...
[ laughter and applause ]
Are you hungry?
Do you want something to -- do you want something to --
[ laughter ]
Are you just a baby that wants to suck on people's thumbs?
Is that what it is?
[ buzzer ]
-Yeah, that's good. That's right.
Yeah, you got that one.
Yes, a baby, a teething baby. -Go find your parents.
Go find your parents, little boy.
Hey, you. -Yeah? What?
-Get your metal-detector booty out of my apartment.
[ cheers and applause ]
-These roses? Oh -- -yes, they are.
[ laughter ]
[ laughter and applause ]
-You must have the worst allergies in the world.
[ buzzer ]
[ cheers and applause ]
-[ laughs ]
[ sighs ]
-Do you have any purell over there?
[ laughter ]
-I've drunk it all. -Or altoids?
-We're just gonna all bathe in purell as a team after the show.
[ laughter ]
-It is time now, ladies and gentlemen,
For a game called "hoedown."
[ cheers and applause ]
This one is for all of our performers
With the help of laura hall at the piano.
What I'm going to need from the audience is a suggestion
For reasons to get dolled up.
[ shouting suggestions ]
I have to say say I feel like prom seems to be recurring here.
So we've heard prom quite a bit.
We're going to go with prom, so...
[ cheers and applause ]
...Gentlemen, let's hear "the prom hoedown."
♪♪
[ audience clapping rhythmically ]
-Whoa, whoa. Calm...
[ laughter ]
♪♪
♪ I go to a prom when I get the chance ♪
♪ my favorite part is when I get to dance ♪
♪ I listen to the disco, the reggae, and the rap ♪
♪ my prom would be awesome ♪
♪ if none of you people would clap ♪
[ laughter ]
[ clapping continues ]
♪ I love me prom ♪
♪ yes, I think it's the best ♪
♪ I can wear a tie, and my date can wear a dress. ♪
♪ I got me a date ♪
♪ I'm in love, and I'm falling ♪
♪ 6'2", white and bald ♪
♪ man, I'm taking colin ♪
[ cheers and applause ]
-♪ well, hi there, vanessa ♪
♪ I'm your date this year ♪
♪ I'm really glad to take you to the prom ♪
♪ what cheer ♪
♪ I know that I might look like a slightly older man ♪
♪ just shut up and get in the van ♪
[ laughter ]
-Oh, that's so creepy.
Oh, god.
[ cheers ]
-♪ I'm so excited to go my -- ♪
No.
[ laughter ]
[ clapping continues ]
♪ I'm going to my prom, I'm wearing a top hat ♪
♪ I have a frilly shirt, I'm even wearing spats ♪
♪ oh, what a night ♪
♪ I was the hit of the dance ♪
♪ maybe next time I'll try and wear some pants ♪
[ cheers and applause ]
-♪ I love susie, I love her with my life ♪
♪ some day I'd like to make her my wife ♪
♪ every time at prom I don't know how to reach her ♪
♪ guess I should probably stop 'cause I am her teacher ♪
-♪ I am her teacher ♪
[ cheers and applause ]
-Do not go away.
We'll be right back with more "whose line is it anyway?"
Right after this.
-Welcome back to "whose line is it anyway?"
The show where everything is made up
And the points don't matter.
And now we come to a game called "duet."
[ cheers and applause ]
Wayne and jeff are going to make up a song
Accompanied by laura hall and linda taylor,
And here to join them is our star guest.
So please welcome tv star and former boxing champ
Laila ali.
[ cheers and applause ]
-Yes!
-Hey. Welcome.
-Hi. How are you?
-I'm so good. You're so pretty.
-You are. So are you. -Thank you.
We're just gonna hug it out for a little while.
-Get a room. -Alright, so, jeff and wayne,
You're going to be singing about laila,
And you'll be singing in the style of stadium rock.
-Are you ready?
[ cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-♪ whoa ♪
[ laughter ]
♪ alright ♪
♪ now, baby, you're good-looking ♪
♪ and I'll tell you what ♪
♪ I really get turned on by a woman when I know ♪
♪ that she could totally kick my butt ♪
[ cheers ]
-♪ yes, I don't want to tussle ♪
♪ I'm a grown-ass man ♪
♪ but I would swing from your arm muscles ♪
♪ there's nothing like tonight ♪
♪ you can beat me in a fair fight ♪
-♪ fair fight, fair fight ♪ -♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
-♪ baby, baby ♪
♪ float like a butterfly and sting like a bee ♪
♪ maybe we could flow to my house ♪
♪ and I'll sting you, and you can sting me ♪
-♪ I would use every single trick ♪
♪ out of my love book ♪
♪ and if I try to touch your booty ♪
♪ then you might get kind of angry ♪
♪ and take me out with a right hook ♪
-♪ we're gonna have a fair fight ♪
-♪ fair fight tonight ♪ -♪ I wanna have a little ♪
-♪ you're the kind that I love ♪ -right.
-♪ ding, round one ♪
-♪ every time she finds a man and brings them home ♪
♪ she makes sure that he puts on a glove ♪
-♪ ding, ding, round two ♪
♪ I'm thinking I could go ♪
♪ ding, ding, ding, ding, six more rounds ♪
♪ but I'm not talking about exactly ♪
♪ what you think I'm talking about ♪
♪ 'cause I know you're married, and that wouldn't be cool ♪
♪ yeah ♪
[ cheers ]
-♪ ye-e-ah ♪
-♪ fair fight ♪
♪ and I want to tell you one more again ♪
-♪ of course you do ♪ -♪ you are a one, two, three ♪
♪ four, five, six, seven, eight, nine ♪
♪ baby, you're a 10 ♪
[ cheers ]
♪ baby, you're a 10 ♪
[ audience clapping rhythmically ]
-♪ because you're a 10 ♪
♪ 'cause this is a fair fight ♪
[ buzzer ]
[ cheers and applause ]
-Thank you. Thank you.
[ buzzer ]
[ cheers and applause continue ]
-Huge thanks to laila ali, everybody!
[ cheers and applause ]
See you after this short break
When I reveal who the winner of tonight's show is
On "whose line is it anyway?"
-Welcome back to "whose line is it anyway?"
Where the winners of tonight's show
Are wayne brady and colin mochrie.
Yes. Aww, sweet.
Now, I want you guys to read the credits out as dorky teenagers
Bragging about their sexual experiences.
Thank you, and good night.
[ cheers and applause ]
-Yo. So I met this girl named dan patterson.
-Oh I saw her. I saw her.
-Now you didn't -I did.
-I was with ryan stiles.
That booty like this. [ laughs ]
-I tell you I went with geraldine dowd.
That woman kisses like an electric field.
-She's so gorgeous. I'm --
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make love to neil,
And I'm going to take out my retainer.
-Stop talking like that. Stop talking like that.
-What? What? -Stop talking like that.
-Alison --
-Stop talking like that. -John pritchett.
Oh, I can see your michael ward and chris henderson.
-No! No. Oh, no. -[ giggling ]
[ cheers and applause ]
-- Captions by vitac --