1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:03,403
-Good evening, everybody,
and welcome

2
00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:05,672
to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

3
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:09,776
On tonight's show,
incomparable Wayne Brady,

4
00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:12,479
inexhaustible Jeff Davis,

5
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,614
inexplicable Colin Mochrie,

6
00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:18,585
and incredible Ryan Stiles.

7
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:21,921
And I'm Aisha Tyler!
Let's have some fun!

8
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,057
[ Cheers and applause ]
Whoo!

9
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,326
Oh, I almost fell and died.

10
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,795
Oh, I almost perished.

11
00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:30,897
Welcome, everybody
to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" --

12
00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:32,499
the show
where everything is made up

13
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,401
and the points do not matter.
[ Laughter ]

14
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:35,835
We've got a great show
for you tonight.

15
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,538
So, let's get started
with a game that we call,

16
00:00:38,571 --> 00:00:39,906
"Questions."

17
00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:42,175
This is for all four
of our performers...

18
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,777
-That's us.
-...in two pairs.

19
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:46,212
Jeff and Ryan are over there.
Colin and Wayne over here.

20
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,615
You're going to come down and
collect your hats and your wigs.

21
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:50,583
Now, the way that this game
is going to work

22
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:53,086
is that Wayne and Jeff are going
to begin a scene,

23
00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:55,822
but they can only
speak in questions.

24
00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:57,090
I'll buzz when
one of them goes wrong,

25
00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:58,758
and then the person behind them
has to step in

26
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,494
to take their place,
but each time they come in,

27
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,129
they've got to assume
a different character,

28
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,398
according to the wig or hat
that they are wearing

29
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:07,967
on their round
and slightly watery heads.

30
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,804
So, the scene
that you'll be acting out

31
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:15,208
is that passions erupt
at a company barbeque.

32
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,910
Take it away...

33
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:18,344
Wayne and Jeff.

34
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:21,481
[ Laughter ]

35
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:24,451
-Hey, man.
Where's that potato salad at?

36
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:26,753
[ Laughter ]
-What did you say?

37
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:31,057
-Can't you see I'm a fly,
and I like to eat that [bleep]?

38
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,594
-Have you ever seen a dog
who makes that [bleep]?

39
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,096
-I think -- oh, ooh...

40
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:39,165
[ Buzzer, laughter ]

41
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,104
-Care for a cock...tail?

42
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:46,506
-What?
-Cocktail, I said cocktail.

43
00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:47,974
-Would you like
a footlong hotdog?

44
00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:50,810
-Oh, would I?
-And this?

45
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,012
-Oh. [ Chuckles ]

46
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,014
Oh.
[ Buzzer ]

47
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,084
[ Laughter, applause ]

48
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,354
-Who ordered the pizza?

49
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:04,224
-Who brought the salami?

50
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:06,493
-What up, dog?

51
00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:08,561
[ Buzzer ]

52
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,198
-[ Exhales sharply ]

53
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:14,033
What's up, home slice?

54
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:17,270
-Ah-ha. Would you like
some aspirin for that?

55
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,771
-Do you have one?
-Do I?

56
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,607
-Do you know how hard
this is to take out?

57
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,242
-Do you know I just poured
all my aspirin on the ground,

58
00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,244
because you took
your hand away?

59
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:25,645
-Was I supposed to notice that?

60
00:02:25,678 --> 00:02:28,114
-How crazy do you think
I would have to be to not know

61
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,316
that you did something stupid
when you did something stupid?

62
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,951
-What?

63
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,954
[ Laughter, applause ]

64
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,756
[ Buzzer ]

65
00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:41,327
-Why do we sit in makeup
and hair for 4 hours

66
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,363
and this is the first
[bleep] game we do?

67
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:46,432
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]

68
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,804
-First time at
the company picnic?

69
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,640
-Never been -- uh, ah, damn!

70
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,042
[ Buzzer ]

71
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,680
-Was there a fire
going on here earlier?

72
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,182
-Do you mean here?
-Yes, I...

73
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:05,285
[ Buzzer ]
God! We're terrible!

74
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,220
We're terrible!
-No...

75
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,457
[ Laughter ]

76
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,026
-You like piña coladas?

77
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,127
-Compared to what?

78
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,862
-Any...God!

79
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:17,497
[ Buzzer, laughter ]

80
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,098
[ Cheers and applause ]

81
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,334
-I don't know what's going on,
this side of the room.

82
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,902
-I'm going to get this one.
-Get him.

83
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,237
-I'm going to get this one.
-Go get him, Jeff. Get him.

84
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:25,638
Get him.

85
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,777
[ Laughter ]

86
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:32,679
-Carl, is that you?

87
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,514
-Whose Carl?

88
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,282
-Haven't you ever had a friend?

89
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,520
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]

90
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,589
[ Buzzer ]

91
00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:49,395
-Want a lick?
[ Laughter ]

92
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:50,630
-Want to...

93
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:53,666
braise my beef?

94
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:57,804
-Well, aren't you brazen?
What's your name?

95
00:03:57,837 --> 00:04:00,206
-Moo.

96
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,741
-Is that French?

97
00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,744
[ Buzzer, laughter ]

98
00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:07,814
[ Cheers and applause ]

99
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,117
Have you seen my husband?

100
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:12,919
-How would you feel
about stuffing me?

101
00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:15,722
[ Laughter, applause ]

102
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,291
I'm just going to go over here.
[ Buzzer ]

103
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:21,294
[ Buzzer continues ]

104
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:24,364
[ Cheers and applause ]

105
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,536
-I'm so glad we didn't have
to worry about the hair

106
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,538
and makeup part.
-Yeah, we're fine.

107
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:37,677
-What's wrong with my hair?
[ Laughter ]

108
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:39,746
Why is that getting
such a big laugh?

109
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,950
Never cut your own hair.
-Mnh-mnh.

110
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:45,785
Obviously, the points
all go to Ryan

111
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:48,755
for just injecting some varieté
into that experience.

112
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:49,989
-But I had a big cow head on,

113
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,357
so, you don't know
I said [bleep].

114
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,860
[ Laughter, applause ]
-Oh.

115
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:58,064
-Oh. [ Chuckles ]
-God, I just did it again.

116
00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:00,366
-And now, my friends,
we play the game we call,

117
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,901
"Weird Newscasters."
-Oh.

118
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:04,370
-This is for all four
of our performers.

119
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,806
Come on down!
[ Cheers and applause ]

120
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,542
In this game, Colin is
the anchor of a news program,

121
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:12,378
and Jeff, Ryan, and Wayne
are his co-anchors.

122
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,781
Each of them is a strange
or unusual character.

123
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:18,618
So, Jeff you are the co-anchor,
who is also a desperate salesman

124
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,087
trying to sell
Colin's body parts.

125
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,789
[ Laughter ]

126
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,123
Ryan will be the sportscaster,

127
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,025
whose also Ryan Stiles

128
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,628
going backwards
through his life.

129
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,196
That should feel familiar.

130
00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:32,498
And Wayne is
the weather forecaster

131
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:36,903
whose acting out the history
of video games in 30 seconds.

132
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:39,339
Oh, my gosh, take it away.

133
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:42,342
[ TV news music plays ]

134
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:45,244
♪♪

135
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,313
-Welcome to the 6 o'clock news,

136
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,183
I'm Theo,
comes before the "P."

137
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:53,252
[ Laughter, applause ]

138
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,856
Our top story tonight,

139
00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:59,892
9 out of 10 people
who hate revolving doors,

140
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,427
come 'round eventually.

141
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,663
[ Laughter, applause ]

142
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,099
[ Shouts ]

143
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:10,103
Don't we see what's
happening elsewhere

144
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:13,039
with our new co-anchor Smiley.

145
00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:14,707
-Thank you, Riley!

146
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:18,311
It's the Riley and Smiley Hour,
top story tonight, Riley,

147
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:21,314
you're dying and we're going
to harvest your organs!

148
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,449
-Yay!
[ Cheers and applause ]

149
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:26,953
-[ Imitates saw whirring ]

150
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:29,589
Who couldn't use
a partially-used brain?

151
00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:30,990
[ Laughter ]

152
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:33,192
What do I have to do, everybody?
What do I have to do?

153
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,660
Pardon me...
[ Imitates cutting ]

154
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:36,496
...to get you into
this partially- functioning

155
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,965
colon tonight?
[ Laughter ]

156
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:42,835
$70 takes this colon away,
for you, madame!

157
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:43,970
Back to you, Colin.

158
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,438
-Someone actually grabbed it.

159
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,774
[ Laughter ]

160
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:51,077
Let's see what's happening
in the world of sports!

161
00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:52,979
-Hey, how about
those Rams this year,

162
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:54,213
didn't they suck this year?

163
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,215
But great a few years back.

164
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,084
-[ Imitates rewinding ]

165
00:06:58,117 --> 00:06:59,952
I hope this doesn't look
like [bleep].

166
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,521
[ Laughter ]

167
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,756
Oh, geez, Gary, I'd like to go,
but I got to go shoot

168
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,458
"Whose Line"
in the morning, yeah.

169
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,226
Back -- Back 5 years.

170
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,895
Oh, uh, yeah, no, I --

171
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,396
Yeah, I'd like to go,
but I have to shoot

172
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,232
"Whose Line" in the morning.
[ Laughter ]

173
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,134
Oh, that sounds like fun,
but I've got to go shoot

174
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,937
"Whose Line" in the morning.

175
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:19,839
I hope this doesn't
look like [bleep].

176
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:25,545
Meh. Meh. Meh.

177
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:28,614
[ Laughter, applause ]

178
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:33,719
-[ Laughs ]

179
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,325
-It's funny, because it's true.

180
00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:40,860
[ Laughter ]

181
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:44,464
Now, let's see what's happening
with the weather with Ted.

182
00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:47,433
-Thank you so much, Colin.

183
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,402
Oh, the weather, I'm so excited,

184
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:50,770
from the East coast
to the West coast,

185
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:54,173
there is a pressure front
all the way over here.

186
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,242
And then it's moving up.

187
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,978
And it all depends,
you know the score.

188
00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:04,217
But, let's see if the Colorados
are frozen this year.

189
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:07,286
Then, we're going to
have to just...blup, blup...

190
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,888
and warp over here.

191
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,523
And then we're all going to have
to move through other...

192
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,091
Rawr!

193
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:15,261
Rampage, all across America.

194
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:19,065
The problem is, if everyone
does not stay inside,

195
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:22,668
you will, "It's a me,"
your weather forecaster.

196
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:25,004
Boing!
And then spring will happen.

197
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:26,005
Boing!

198
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:27,306
And after spring,

199
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,009
then everything will look
so much better.

200
00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:32,545
Hadoken...
[ Laughter ]

201
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:35,248
...is what I'll have to sing
when I go outside.

202
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,950
It'll be a great day...
[ Imitates Zombie ]

203
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:42,154
...for all of the residents,
here, in evil.

204
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,991
Ahhh! Ahhh!

205
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,425
[ Imitates Mortal Kombat ]

206
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,361
Pick your weather forecaster.

207
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:51,430
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]

208
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:54,000
-Well, that's
the 6 o'clock news.

209
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,002
Goodnight and good news.

210
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:59,005
[ Buzzer ]

211
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,374
[ Cheers and applause ]

212
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:04,277
-We'll see you guys again
right after this break.

213
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,511
Don't go anywhere.

214
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,485
-Welcome back
to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

215
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:13,786
We're going to
keep things moving now

216
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,254
with a game called, "Film Dub."

217
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,023
This is for all four
of our gentleman players.

218
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,358
Come on down.
Check out the screen.

219
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,260
The way this works is that
we took an old piece of film,

220
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,562
we removed all the dialogue,

221
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:24,230
and now, Ryan,
Colin, Jeff, and Wayne

222
00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:26,465
are going to revoice the clip
using their imaginations.

223
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:30,469
So, the scene I'd like you
to improvise is called,

224
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:33,739
"One Day at the Psychiatrists."

225
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:35,575
-[ Sighs ] Why won't you let me
out of this place?

226
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:38,144
It's been 4 hours!
You can't keep me here forever!

227
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:40,146
-Ah, interesting.

228
00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:41,514
-I don't care,
I'm going to start swearing,

229
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:42,982
and there's children
in the next room!

230
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:44,550
Let me out
of this [bleep] place!

231
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,786
[Bleep].
[ Laughter ]

232
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,655
-Hi. I was upstairs sharpening
my breasts, what's wrong?

233
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:51,724
[ Laughter ]

234
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:52,024
-Interesting.

235
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:55,828
-What's wrong with my hair?

236
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:59,832
-Those -- Those breasts,
they are very sharp, indeed.

237
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,201
[ Laughter ]

238
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:05,237
They need to place little round
stoppers on each end,

239
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,906
to stop you
from poking their eyes...

240
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,307
-Listen.

241
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,710
My breasts are sharp, and I know
what to do with them.

242
00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:13,045
-Get out of my house, now!

243
00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:14,714
-Go [bleep] yourself.

244
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:16,515
[ Laughter ]

245
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,651
-I'm leaving now. I'm leaving.
-No, don't go without me.

246
00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:20,353
-Don't say, no, you told me
to get out of the house.

247
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,754
-No. No.
-Get away from me!

248
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:22,855
-No.
-Get away. Kiss me, I mean.

249
00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:24,523
I mean, kiss me.
Oh, my God, tongue.

250
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,325
-Oh! You flattened my breasts!

251
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,194
[ Laughter, applause ]

252
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:29,929
[ Crying ]
-The strippers are here!

253
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:35,001
-I'll give you a first-class
ticket to ass-pound town.

254
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,169
[ Laughter, applause ]

255
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:40,172
[ Buzzer ]

256
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:43,242
[ Cheers and applause ]

257
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,879
-Am I in error in saying
that someone said the phrase,

258
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,982
ass-pound town?

259
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:54,020
-Yes, my character said, "I will
give you a first-class ticket

260
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:56,122
to ass-pound town."

261
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,490
-I'm glad, because I didn't
quite understand

262
00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:59,425
the context
of ass-pound town.

263
00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:01,360
-Oh. Oh, it's a threat,
not a destination.

264
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,562
[ Laughter, applause ]

265
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,032
-Alright, everybody, now we're
going to play a game called,

266
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:10,102
"Scenes From a Hat."

267
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:11,370
[ Cheers and applause ]

268
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:14,140
Ryan and Colin, you are there.

269
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,641
Wayne and Jeff, you are here.

270
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:20,513
And before our show,
we asked our audience

271
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:22,481
to write down scenes
they would like to see acted out

272
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,583
by our sensational
gentleman performers.

273
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,352
I've got those suggestions
in this hat.

274
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:28,754
I'm going to read them out,
we're going to see what you guys

275
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:30,523
can come up with,
here we go.

276
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:35,294
"Weird things for
a wedding photographer to say."

277
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:38,197
-Alright, bride, groom,
please line up, let's, uh --

278
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,265
That's great.

279
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:40,800
Bride, oh,

280
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:43,069
damn, look at that ass.
-Oh. [ Chuckles ]

281
00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:45,604
-Alright.

282
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,173
-You might want to get
a wider lens on there.

283
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,607
-Yeah! [ Chuckles ]

284
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,876
Wop, wop!
[ Laughter ]

285
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:53,479
You're a lucky man.
[ Buzzer ]

286
00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:54,613
Mazel.

287
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:57,016
[ Laughter, applause ]

288
00:11:58,617 --> 00:11:59,852
-Alright, let's get
some of the bride.

289
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,388
Let me, uh, turn down
these lights a bit,

290
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,657
I didn't think you'd have
the nerve to wear white.

291
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:07,593
[ Laughter ]
-Oh-ho!

292
00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:09,929
-[ Laughs ]

293
00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:12,832
-Yes! Yes!
[ Buzzer ]

294
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:18,204
[ Laughter ]

295
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,510
-Have you ever taken a selfie?
[ Buzzer ]

296
00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:28,647
-It's hard with the big cameras.
-[ Laughs ]

297
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,550
"Law enforcement raids
in fairy tales."

298
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:36,922
-[ Imitates door knocks ]

299
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,358
[ Imitates megaphone ]
Little old lady in the shoe.

300
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:42,394
I'm from
child protective services.

301
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:45,931
-She's next door.
-Oh, my bad.

302
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:48,934
[ Buzzer, laughter ]

303
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:50,770
[ Cheers and applause ]

304
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,671
-Now, we found some shell
over here

305
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:55,274
and a yolk about
a half a block down.

306
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:56,642
-What about the king's horses?

307
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:58,244
-Nah, they can't do [bleep].

308
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:01,213
[ Buzzer, laughter ]

309
00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:03,082
-[ Imitates knocking down door ]
-Go, go, go, go.

310
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,117
-Clear! Clear! Clear! Clear!
-Clear.

311
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,553
[ Imitates knocking down door ]
-Put the porridge down!

312
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,355
Put the porridge down!
-Hey!

313
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,757
[ Buzzer, laughter ]

314
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,292
[ Applause ]

315
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:17,163
-"Things you wouldn't want
your mother to say to you."

316
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:19,865
-[ Sighs ]
-Oh, the list.

317
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,734
[ Laughter ]

318
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,502
-[ Groans ]

319
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,971
M-M-Mama's going to be
leaving you now, Timmy.

320
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,540
-Oh, no.
-I just want you

321
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:29,975
to be a good man to your wife.
-Yeah.

322
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:32,011
-Like your father was to me,

323
00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:33,546
5 times a week.

324
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,748
[ Laughter, applause ]

325
00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:37,983
He would do things to me
that would make my eyes

326
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,985
roll up
in the back of my head.

327
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,688
You were conceived
on the very first...

328
00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:44,623
-[ Retching ]
[ Buzzer ]

329
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,693
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]

330
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,362
-Were you Marlon Brando?

331
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,598
-[ Chuckles ] Yes.

332
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:56,368
-Power's out.

333
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,105
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]

334
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,943
[ Buzzer ]

335
00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:07,646
-"If Dr. Suess was
a news anchor."

336
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,216
[ Laughter ]

337
00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:14,220
-Here's some news you
may not have read.

338
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:16,121
20 in Kansas,
dead, dead, dead.

339
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:17,623
[ Laughter ]

340
00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:19,792
Hurricane hit them high and low,

341
00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:21,460
they're dead,
because they were slow.

342
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:22,995
[ Laughter, applause ]

343
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:26,065
[ Buzzer ]

344
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,468
Don't go anywhere guys,
we'll be right back with more

345
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:32,004
"Whose Line is it Anyway?"
right after this.

346
00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:37,409
[ Cheers and applause ]

347
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,144
-Welcome back
to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

348
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,512
We're going to keep things
moving on

349
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,514
with a game that is called
"Greatest Hits."

350
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:44,850
This is a game
for all four of our performers

351
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,852
with the help of
the fantastic Laura Hall

352
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,587
and Linda Taylor
on piano and guitar.

353
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:50,923
Now, the way
this game works

354
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,292
is that Ryan and Colin are two
television voiceover artists,

355
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:55,594
and they are chatting about
the latest compilation album.

356
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,830
Now, I need a suggestion
from the audience here.

357
00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:01,166
Can you give me a job
where you would work with food?

358
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,302
[ Shouting suggestions ]

359
00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:05,938
Okay, so, I think, I heard
someone yell out, meat...

360
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,573
[ Laughter ]

361
00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:09,241
-Meat?
-Yes!

362
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,910
-...which is not a job, meat.

363
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,177
Hi. What do you do for a living?

364
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:13,913
Meat.
[ Laughter ]

365
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,514
But, uh, butcher...

366
00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:16,982
a butcher would work with meat.
-Butcher.

367
00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:19,351
Alright, yeah.
-So, why don't we try that?

368
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,687
-Meat.
-The name of your album is,

369
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:22,721
"Songs of the Butcher."

370
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:24,690
-Oh.
-Yes, take it away.

371
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:28,060
-Hi, we'll be right back
to our documentary about people

372
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,431
who fear giants and
fee-fi-phobia in just a second.

373
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:33,198
[ Laughter ]

374
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,770
You know, about, I guess, oh, I
don't know, maybe, 60 years ago.

375
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,538
-Oh, when we first
started this show.

376
00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:41,206
-Yeah.

377
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:45,210
A think tank
of hillbillies got together.

378
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:46,745
-They're called republicans.
[ Laughter ]

379
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,514
-No, no, and so,
rockabilly was born.

380
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:51,984
And, of course,
meat and rockabilly

381
00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:54,620
goes together like you and me.
-Mm.

382
00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:55,421
[ Laughter ]

383
00:15:56,722 --> 00:16:00,326
-So, sit back and enjoy
this great rockabilly song --

384
00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:01,827
"Mystery Meat."

385
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,830
[ Rockabilly music plays ]

386
00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:08,867
♪♪

387
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,169
[ Cheers ]

388
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:11,904
-♪ Hey, now, Wayne,
over there ♪

389
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,106
♪ At the butcher counter ♪

390
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,874
♪ I need something to eat ♪

391
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:18,744
♪ I've filled up on all kinds
of junk food ♪

392
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,980
♪ And lately,
I don't want something sweet ♪

393
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,616
♪ What I want you to do for me ♪

394
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,552
♪ Is cut up that ground round ♪

395
00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:28,153
♪ Because if you don't do it ♪

396
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:31,090
♪ I'm going to take you
to ass-pound town ♪

397
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,224
[ Laughter ]

398
00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:34,626
-♪ Well, well, it's a treat ♪

399
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,495
♪ You don't know what
you're going to eat ♪

400
00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:38,397
-♪ Oh, ho, ho ♪
-♪ It comes from the front ♪

401
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:40,632
♪ Or from the seat,
it's mystery meat ♪

402
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,503
♪ You got dark and white
and everything in the middle ♪

403
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:47,072
♪ Shut your mouth,
put it right on the griddle ♪

404
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,775
♪ Oh, good golly, Lord, e'body,
it's a mystery meat ♪

405
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:51,977
-♪ I said ♪

406
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,213
♪ It's a mystery,
a mystery to me ♪

407
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,716
-♪ To you,
it's a mystery ♪

408
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,218
♪ Mystery ♪
-♪ Mystery ♪

409
00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:02,454
♪ What's in it?
I just can't see ♪

410
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,456
-♪ I don't know,
do you know? ♪

411
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,026
♪ Nope, you'll never know,
and that's how I make my dough ♪

412
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:08,427
♪ Because you see ♪

413
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,928
♪ I'm selling mystery meat ♪

414
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:14,800
-♪ Well, I'm going to eat this,
you better give me some towels ♪

415
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:17,469
♪ Later on, this is going to
cut up my bowels ♪

416
00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:19,204
-♪ That's right,
from the seat ♪

417
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,241
♪ The root-a-toot-a-toot-a,
the back to the shooter ♪

418
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,076
♪ Because I know
that you love ♪

419
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:28,313
♪ That mystery meaaaaaat ♪

420
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:30,149
There you go.

421
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:33,152
[ Cheers and applause ]

422
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,087
-Is that the song
you were thinking?

423
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:38,824
-That's it. Later on, that meat
is going to cut my bowels.

424
00:17:38,857 --> 00:17:40,759
[ Laughter ]

425
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,729
-You know, I love
a good jug band.

426
00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:44,530
-Do you?
-Yes.

427
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,732
-Well, that's...
-I-I can play a jug.

428
00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:48,000
Anybody can play a jug.

429
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:51,203
If you can find a jug.
Where do you get a jug?

430
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:54,173
-You're just so...I find you
fascinating soul patch Sam.

431
00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:55,307
[ Laughter ]

432
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:56,742
-You like it?

433
00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:58,177
-No, it's like you were trying
to grow a goatee,

434
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,478
you just ended up
with a goat.

435
00:17:59,511 --> 00:17:59,778
-Well...[Chuckles].

436
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,515
-[ Laughs ]

437
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:05,517
-I'm just laughing to make you
feel better.

438
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:08,020
You know...
[ Laughter ]

439
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,955
...you know,
when I think jug band songs,

440
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:11,957
how -- how many
would you say there are?

441
00:18:11,990 --> 00:18:13,826
-I think, last count,
there was 75.

442
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:16,962
-Well, here's a jug, why don't
you play a little jug for me?

443
00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:18,697
-But, there's professionals
to play the jug.

444
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,567
-I want to see how an amateur
plays a jug, is that okay?

445
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,835
-Alright.

446
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,204
Glug, glug, glug.
-No!

447
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,005
No, no, sit back,

448
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,241
relax for that jug --
jug band hit --

449
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,245
"Chicken or Beef."

450
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,814
[ Jug band music plays ]

451
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,116
-[ Imitating playing jugs ]

452
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:40,552
♪ Hoo, oh, hoo, hoo, hoo,
oh, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ♪

453
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,554
♪ Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ♪

454
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:45,090
-♪ Now lady, lady,
look at you in line ♪

455
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,192
♪ Oh, looking at you,
when I know that you were fine ♪

456
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:49,394
♪ But please hurry up,
because my time is ticking ♪

457
00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:51,430
♪ Tell me beef,
or is it chicken? ♪

458
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,499
-♪ Beef or chicken,
what's it going to be? ♪

459
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,634
♪ Feed that little
bitty critter to me ♪

460
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,336
♪ I'm your man,
and you're my girl ♪

461
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:58,770
♪ If I don't get
beef or chicken ♪

462
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,739
♪ I'ma going to eat
some squirreeeeeeel ♪

463
00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:02,741
-♪ Squirreeeeeeeeel ♪

464
00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:04,109
-♪ I'ma going to eat
some squirrel ♪

465
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:04,910
-♪ Squirrel ♪

466
00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:09,882
♪ Hoo, oh, hoo, hoo, hoo,
hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ♪

467
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:12,151
♪ Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ♪

468
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,153
-♪ Ain't no venison,
ain't no nothing ♪

469
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:16,321
♪ Because I don't like it
unless it's clucking ♪

470
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,423
♪ Do you like it,
gizzards won't do ♪

471
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:20,125
♪ I want something
that comes on the hoof ♪

472
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,060
-♪ Well give me something sweet,
something to munch ♪

473
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,162
♪ You remind me
of Sam the butcher ♪

474
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,496
♪ From Brady Bunch ♪

475
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,498
Hey. Come here, Toby.
♪ I want relief ♪

476
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:28,567
♪ You got to give me
either chicken or some ♪

477
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,403
♪ Beef, beef, beef, beef, beef,
chicken, chicken, chicken ♪

478
00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:33,238
♪ Chicken, chicken, chicken ♪
-♪ Chicken ♪

479
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,240
-♪ Chicken, chicken, chicken ♪
-♪ Chicken, chicken, chicken ♪

480
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,408
♪ Chicken, chicken, chicken ♪
-♪ Chicken, chicken, chicken ♪

481
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:37,676
-♪ Chicken or beef ♪

482
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:39,244
♪ Wooooooooo ♪

483
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,216
Thank you.

484
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:46,718
[ Buzzer,
cheers and applause ]

485
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:49,188
-Find out who won our show,
after this short break.

486
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,222
There's more "Whose Line,"

487
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,924
right after this.

488
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:57,663
[ Cheers and applause ]

489
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,398
-Welcome back
to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

490
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:00,232
That's our show.

491
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,967
Tonight our winner
is Jeff Davis,

492
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:04,102
so, I'd like you
to join the others

493
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,370
and read out the credits

494
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,506
as if you are a
stressed-out doctor

495
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:10,242
desperately trying to save
the camera's life.

496
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,377
Thanks for watching,
everybody. Goodnight.

497
00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:15,447
-Oh, my God, help her. Help.

498
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:19,785
-Team, come on.

499
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:22,020
I need 20 cc's
of Dan Patterson right now.

500
00:20:23,021 --> 00:20:23,789
-I'm a choreographer.

501
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,225
-Well, then,
dance, monkey, dance!

502
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,294
-It's fainting, it's fainting,
it's falling down.

503
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,264
-Clear!
[ Imitates electric shock ]

504
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:33,298
-Here, I'll help.

505
00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:36,335
I'm not a doctor,
but I just happen to be around.

506
00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,337
-Oh, my God.
-How does that feel? Yeah.

507
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,606
-Follow the light.
Go into the light.

508
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,242
Go into the light.

509
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:44,977
[ Cheers and applause ]