-Good evening, everybody, and welcome
to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show, feel the force, Wayne Brady.
Make it so, Gary Anthony Williams.
Beam me up, Scotty, Colin Mochrie.
And punch it, Chewie, Ryan Stiles.
And I'm Aisha Tyler. Let's make some stuff up!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Whoo!
Hey! Welcome, everyone.
Welcome to the show where everything is made up,
and the points don't matter.
We've got a great show for you tonight,
so let's get started right now
with a game we call "Hollywood Director."
This is for all four of our performers.
So, guys, come on down.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Here's how this is going to work.
Gary, Ryan, and Wayne are acting out a film scene,
and, Colin, you're the director who keeps
giving the actors different notes
on how to improve the scene, all right?
And the scene you guys are going to be acting out is that Ryan,
you are a demented criminal mastermind.
You are forcing panicky bank teller Gary
to open the vault.
Web-slinging Spider-Man Wayne swings in to foil the robbery.
-Of course. -Take it away.
-[ Imitating tools ]
[ Laughter ]
Excuse me, Miss. -Uh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ooh, I hope that's a gun. I hope that's a gun.
-It is a gun, and this is a bag.
-Oh!
-I'd like all my money in the bag, please.
-Oh, that means I have to open the vault.
-That's fine.
-I'm so panicky and nervous.
-If I may say, you're not perspiring at all.
-That's because I sweat inside.
-You do? Oh, I see.
[ Laughter ]
I really haven't got a lot of time for this.
-All right!
-Aah! -Ooh!
-Aah!
-Ooh! -Aah-aah-aah! Ow!
Hey! Hey!
-Freeze, criminal mastermind. It's me, Spider-Man.
-Spider-Man, you're too late.
-Yeah? I'm also a brother. -Oh!
[ Laughter ]
-Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
-I was trying to bring some depth.
-Well, don't.
-Why would he assume he's related to me?
-No!
[ Laughter and applause ]
It's like a mad scientist came in and just made "Crapenstein."
[ Laughter ]
All right, you know, I kind of liked
that sort of sexual-attraction thing
because sex sells, so... do it like fashion models.
Action!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-[ Effeminately ] Excuse me.
[ Gagging ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
I'm so sorry. Could you put in this very nice bag?
-Ooh!
-Would you be so nice as to put your money in there, please?
-Oh, certainly I would. -Thank you.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, you put your money in a safe?
-You can get in through the keyhole, I'm sure.
-I probably could.
That's not the first time I've said that.
[ Laughter ]
[ Gagging ]
[ Laughter ]
-Freeze. You shouldn't waste your food.
I came to stop the robbery.
[ Imitating runway music ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
-What? -You know what.
-I was really throwing up. That wasn't a part of it.
-Believe me. I was right there with you.
All right.
[ Laughter ]
I know that we haven't gone too far!
No.
-I mean, that was kind of sexy. -Right.
-Now you've got to be really sexy.
-Okay.
-Now do it like unashamed nudists.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
Excuse me.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah? -Do you have a safe?
-Yeah, I have a safe.
But it ain't where you would expect it to be.
[ Laughter ]
Heh-heh-heh.
-Well, I need some money, and I need it quick.
I need the money by, oh, where's the sun?
2:00.
[ Laughter ]
-Freeze, lawbreaker.
Thump! Sss-sss-sss.
[ Laughter ]
Sss-sss-sss.
-Freeze!
[ Laughter ]
I don't know what I was thinking.
-Did he have gas or something? What was that?
-No. He was using his penis! -Oh.
-All right. Do it -- I know. Do it like you're Elvis!
All of you are Elvis! Action.
[ Laughter ]
-[ As Elvis ] Excuse me, Miss. -[ As Elvis ] Uh-huh?
-I wouldn't mind if you'd put some money in a bag for me.
-You ain't nothing but a robber, robbing all the time?
-That's right.
-This is going to take a while.
-Take a little while there, baby.
Oh, don't rush it.
Yeah, that's the way to open a bank.
All right. Ooh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!
Oh, yeah. That's it, baby. Ooh.
-You'll have to step in swivel-hip style.
-Ooh!
[ As Elvis ] All right, baby.
I want you all to put everything in the bag.
-I have no idea what he just said.
-I have no idea what you said, brother.
-I'm Spider-Man, baby. You better give me that gun.
♪ I got a gun now ♪
♪ Because you going to jail ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-I think the person who deserves points for that scene was Gary
because you're the only one who did not use your penis.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-The operation is paying off.
[ Laughter ]
-Now we move on to a game called "Duet."
This is for Wayne and Gary,
accompanied by Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
And here to join them is our celebrity guest.
So, please welcome star of "The Walking Dead," Lauren Cohan!
[ Cheers and applause ]
All right! So, Gary and Wayne,
you're going to be making up a song all about Lauren,
who, of course, plays zombie apocalypse survivor Maggie
in the hit show, "The Walking Dead."
-Yes.
-And the song you're going to be singing to her
is in the style of Michael Jackson.
Oh, yes. Off you go.
[ "Billie Jean"-type song playing ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-[ As Michael Jackson ] Hey, girl.
Ooh!
Yeah. Oh, wow!
♪ I saw something late last night ♪
-♪ Ahh ♪
-♪ It gave me such a fright ♪
♪ It was walking like it wasn't alive and it was kind of dead ♪
♪ Would you save me from it? ♪
Look at ya. Oh!
-♪ I don't know if you've been a dream ♪
♪ But just like you, I play on Rick's team ♪
♪ Come on, baby, it drive me insane ♪
♪ I don't want your heart, but I love to eat your brain ♪
-Ow!
-♪ I'm a zombie ♪
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
♪ I'm not breathing ♪
♪ What am I to do? ♪
♪ All I say is "Uggghh" ♪
♪ All day I go, "Uggghh" ♪
♪ I just want to uggghh ♪
♪ I just need ya ♪
-♪ Come on, girl, don't make me beg ♪
♪ Don't make me run after you dragging my left leg ♪
♪ I just want to uggghh ♪
♪ I just need you uggghh ♪
♪ I just need you, yeah ♪
-♪ Tonight's the night that I can make it right ♪
Aahhh!
♪ Yes, you're infected ♪
♪ A zombie's bite is deadly ♪
♪ A doctor won't help ♪
♪ 'Cause there's no real need to get it inspected, you dead ♪
-♪ You dead ♪
-♪ You dead, you dead ♪
-♪ But you still walking ♪
-♪ How'd that happen 'cause... ♪
-♪ You dead, you dead ♪
-♪ You dead, but you still walking ♪
♪ And dancing obviously ♪
Go!
♪ Hoo-hoo-hoo ♪
♪ Never seen a zombie dance like that ♪
♪ Whoo-hoo-hoo ♪
♪ Never seen a zombie dance like that ♪
-♪ Hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo ♪
-♪ If I had blood, you'd be in trouble right now ♪
-♪ Creatures coming all across the land ♪
♪ Losing their foot and losing their hand ♪
♪ You know everything I just said ♪
-Say it.
-♪ I walk with my heart ♪
♪ You walking dead ♪
-♪ Walking dead ♪ -♪ Walking dead ♪
-♪ She's walking dead ♪
♪ Oh ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you, my dear.
-Lauren Cohan, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ]
All right, we'll see you for more after the break
on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" right after this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" --
the show where everything's made up
and the points don't matter.
Next up is a game we call "Scenes from a Hat,"
which is for all four performers.
So, Ryan and Colin, right over there.
Wayne and Gary, come right here.
Now, before the show,
we asked the audience to write down scenes
they would like to see acted out by our performers,
and I've got the suggestions in this very subtly colored hat
right here.
I'm going to read them out,
and we're going to see how many our performers can act out.
You guys ready? All right, here we go, yes.
"Bad jobs to be doing
if you're on the edge of a nervous breakdown."
-[ Sighs ]
[ Imitating telephone ringing ]
Gosh.
Hello? Suicide Hotline.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Look.
Look, I know I'm a brain doctor. I don't have no anesthesia.
I'm just going to slap you till you're unconscious.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Activates bullhorn ]
-[ Echoing ] All right, right. I know, know, know
that you have the hostages, hostages.
Um, yes, your helicopter is coming, coming.
What a freaking crybaby!
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-For our next game, we're doing "Scenes from a Hat."
[ Buzzer ]
-All right, Mr. and Mrs. Leibowitz, hold up the baby.
I said hold up the baby!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I was a mohel.
-Oh! -Oh, yeah.
-In the Juda-- no.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-"World's worst stage act."
-I'm a mohel.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Okay, in this scene, I hear the baby talking,
and the baby can hear the baby talking,
but nobody else can hear the baby talking.
I'm Tyler Perry. Good night.
[ Buzzer ]
No!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I will now step in a tub of water
and then put my finger in the socket.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Applause ]
-Is this your watch?
[ Buzzer ]
-"What babies are really thinking."
-Come on, mama, hurry up. Let's do this thing.
Yo, that's it. [ Buzzer ]
-Heh. Anytime I want to. [ Grunts ]
[ Laughter ]
Clean it up now!
[ Buzzer ]
-If I can find a way to reverse the tachyons,
I can go back into time.
I hope I can remember this once my skull forms.
It's more of a concept thing.
[ Buzzer ]
-"Things you don't want to hear
just before moving in for a kiss."
-I think I might have lost a crown.
While you're in there, can you check it out for me?
[ Buzzer ]
-Just think of them as love ridges, not canker sores.
[ Audience groans, buzzer ]
-I hope you like bacon and corn.
[ Buzzer ]
-Don't go away.
We'll be right back with more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" --
the show where everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
Now we're going to play a game called "Greatest Hits."
This is a game for all four of our performers with the help
of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on piano and guitar.
So, guys, come on down. -Ladies.
-So, here's how this game works.
Ryan and Colin are two TV-voiceover artists
talking about the latest compilation album.
And Wayne and Gary are going to be singing
snippets of the songs.
So, now I need a suggestion from the audience.
Could you give me the name of a job
where you work with animals?
-Zookeeper. -Wow, really focused over here.
Okay, so the name of your album is
"Songs of a Zookeeper," all right, guys?
Take it away.
-We'll be back to our documentary on zombies
with unusual speech patterns in "Christopher Walken Dead"
in just a second.
-Wow.
-But first, have we got something for you.
-Have we ever -- "Songs of the Zookeeper."
-Zookeeper is a noble profession that has been lasted
as long as there's been zoos.
-And we've assembled 3 songs on 48 CDs
all about the zookeeper.
-They're long-playing.
-Funk. -What?
-Funk.
-Hey, relax. What's with the dirty language?
-It's not dirty. I'm saying "funk."
-Oh! Are you sure you're just not mispronouncing it?
-No, no. I'm saying "funk."
And, you know, when I think funk songs, and I think zookeepers,
I think of that one that was at the top of the funk charts
for over 50 weeks straight, simply titled "Rhinobutt."
[ Playing funk intro ]
-Rhinobutt. -Uhh.
-Ow! -Ow!
-Yeah, yeah.
-Oh, yeah, we got to do this thing.
-We got to do it, baby bubba! -Uh-huh.
-Al right, now. -Uh-huh.
-You see that thing charging towards you?
Turn around. Look at it. Oh, yeah.
Whoo!
♪ There ain't nothing in the animal kingdom ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪ Like it nice and round and rough, rough, rough ♪
-♪ Rough, brother ♪
♪ Let me tell you something now ♪
-I hear you, baby.
-♪ I like to slap it ♪
♪ 'Cause its skin is tough, tough, tough, tough ♪
-♪ In the front end, it might, might hurt ♪
♪ But the back ain't nothing but a party, yeah ♪
-♪ Ain't nothing but a party ♪
♪ And let me tell you, baby ♪
-What is it, baby?
-♪ We talking no hippopotamus, oh, Lordy, rhinobutt ♪
-♪ Rhinobutts in the house ♪ -♪ Say rhino ♪
-Uhh!
♪ I said rhino ♪
-♪ Rhinobutt in the house ♪
-Uhh! -Mm!
-♪ I said rhinobutt ♪
-♪ You can keep your hippo and your other animals ♪
♪ But when it comes to the rhino booty, oh, yes ♪
♪ I am so fond of the rhinobutt ♪
-♪ You can keep your gazelle that's running so fast ♪
-Pow! Ow!
-♪ Bring me a rhino, let me slap that rhinoplast ♪
♪ Rhinobutt ♪
-♪ Rhinobutt ♪
♪ I got rhinobutt ♪
Dig it, baby. Dig it.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Whoo! -Wow.
-I know I'm a man, but I think I just had a hot flash.
Wow, that was wild. "Rhinobutt."
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah.
Well, of course, who doesn't love Jamaican dance hall?
-I do not.
-You don't like it? -No. Oh, what did you say?
-Jamaican dance hall. -Oh, I love that.
-Of course you do.
You've never been to Jamaica, have you?
Well, then, you're going to enjoy this.
It's going to go up your ear and in it
and then run around your brain and then come out.
So, enjoy this great Jamaican dance-hall hit,
"A Camel Just Spit at Me."
[ Playing reggae-style intro ]
[ Both singing with Jamaican accents ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, my eye. My eye, man.
-♪ Lord, have mercy, Lord, have mercy ♪
-♪ Lord, have mercy ♪
-♪ What he come do now? ♪
-♪ Lord, have mercy, Lord, have mercy ♪
-♪ Lord, have mercy ♪
-♪ What he come do now? ♪
-♪ Now let me tell you something you ought to know ♪
♪ Because the camel in the tent will know ♪
♪ Because we see him, he land a joke ♪
♪ Come at me, spit, camel, get down ♪
-♪ When you sing, it make me so merry ♪
♪ You got to watch out for that dromedary ♪
♪ When there's spit in your eyes you'll see ♪
♪ That that camel going to blind me ♪
-♪ Spit, camel ♪
♪ Spit, camel ♪
♪ Spit the camel ♪
♪ Dodge the camel ♪
♪ Start your spitting ♪
♪ Dodge your spitting, dodge your spitting ♪
-♪ Dodge your spitting, dodge your spitting ♪
-♪ Deflect the spitting ♪
♪ Get the spitting, get the spitting ♪
Hold the camel because we know they're spitting now.
-♪ Hey, camel, I'm talking to your mama ♪
♪ I'm not talking about no kind of llama ♪
♪ Talking about you with your big one hump ♪
♪ When you're spitting, make me want to get Kronk-a ♪
-♪ Don't spit, camel ♪
♪ Don't spit on men ♪
♪ No, don't spit, camel ♪
♪ No more spit on the men ♪
-♪ No, no, no ♪
-♪ No spit, camel ♪
♪ No spit on them ♪
♪ No spit on camel ♪
♪ No, don't spit on them ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Don't go away.
We'll be right back with more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
That is the end of our show.
Tonight's winners are all four of you, and, as a reward,
I'd like you to join our star guest, Lauren Cohan,
and read the credits out.
Wayne and Lauren, you're lead singers
thanking everyone at the end of your gig,
and the others are your backing band.
Thanks for watching. Good night.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank you, everybody.
-This has been amazing. -It's amazing.
-Dan, Jimmy, couldn't have done it without you.
-I know.
We could never, and that's why
after all these years on the road, we're breaking up,
and I'm going solo. So, uh...
-He's just kidding, Deena. He's just kidding.
-No, Ryan Stiles and I, we just signed a record deal,
and we're going on our own.
-Just kidding. -You'll be fine.
-Just kidding. We'll be back with that duet next week.
-Ray Miller said, "I don't need her. She's --"
-Yeah, it was like -- Julie was like,
"Oh, no, no, no, no. You're not leaving."
-Oh, no. No, Michael, my lawyer, told me...
-- Captions by VITAC --