-Good evening everybody
and welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?
On tonight's show,
my, my, Wayne Brady,
my way, Gary Anthony Williams,
my bad, Colin Mochrie,
and my hero, Ryan Stiles.
And I'm Aisha Tyler. Let's make some stuff up!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, hello everyone. Welcome.
Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
the show where everything is made up
and those stairs get longer every time
I run down them.
We've got a fantastic show for you tonight,
and we are going to start right now
with a game called "Questions."
This is for all four of our performers in two pairs.
Gary and Ryan are there. Colin and Wayne are here.
Come collect this box of stuff.
Now, the way this game works
is that they can only speak in questions.
I'll buzz when one of them makes a mistake.
The person behind them will step in to take their place.
However, each time they come in,
they have to assume a different character according to the wig
or hat that they've placed on
their big, lustrous, silky heads.
And here is the scene you'll be acting out.
I was talking about you.
So silky. It's so silky.
I love it. Ooh, Lord!
Oh, very smooth.
-Oh, hold on. Let me just slide --
-Absolutely, absolutely. Oh, wow.
-Yeah, yeah. Okay, alright. I'm good. I'm good now.
[ Laughter ]
-See it was good luck for 14 years,
but then I just lost 5 touching his butt, so...
The scene you'll be acting out is,
"passions erupt in a swanky cocktail bar."
Whenever you're ready, take it away.
-What's going on?
-Care for a drink?
-Does the moon rise up when the sky is kind of wet?
-What the hell are you talking about?
-Ever tried this? -What is that?
-Does Cialis ring a bell?
-Do you have a problem keeping it up?
-Who doesn't?
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Could we have three drinks over here, please?
What's new? -Are you from Palmdale?
-What do you mean?
-Well --
You might get it when you see it later.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ] Oh, yeah. Damn.
-Is this a place where a grown man can get a tiny drink?
-What do you do for a living? -Perhaps I feel people up...?
[ Buzzer ] -[ Groans ]
-Want a handful of Grape Nuts?
-Are you sure they're not Fruit of the Looms?
-What the hell do you mean by that?
-Don't you know what I mean by that?
-Is something going on? -Do you feel the electricity?
-What happened to your hair?
-M--
[ Buzzer ]
-Mm!
-Is that a hat on your head or is you happy to see me?
-What do you think?
Hey, have you ever had a Dirty Swirly?
-Do you mind if I text my mamma that question?
-Where's your phone? -Don't you have it?
-Is this it?
-Could you frisk me down and make sure that's not it?
-Are you a freak? -Ain't that obvious?
-What is this?
Are you packing?
Are you a police officer?
Is this a shakedown? -I am not packing.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
-Where did that goose go? He was down.
Oh, [bleep].
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
-This is just you on the first year of the show.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Applause ]
-Well, points to Colin for taking us down memory lane.
That was exciting. -Yeah.
-See young Colin make an appearance again.
-Ha-ha. Let's all laugh.
[ Laughter ]
-And now we're going to play a game called "Doo Wop."
This game is for Wayne, Gary and Colin,
with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor
on the stage.
Now what I need from the audience is a woman's name.
Yell out a woman's name! You can do it.
[ Shouting suggestions ]
Alright. I got one.
We're going to sing about Melissa.
-Melissa. -Melissa.
-Oh, yeah, it's easy.
-You're going to sing a song like
a doo-wop group from the '50s,
but you're going to sing about Melissa, who died terribly
in an amusement park related accident.
-Alright, let's go.
[ Doo-wop music playing ]
-♪ Sha-doo, sha-doo, sha-doo ♪
-♪ Wee-ooh-ooh ♪
Fellas...
I'm feeling down. -Why?
-♪ Because I knew a girl, I just wanted to kiss her ♪
♪ We rode the ride together, tried to hold her down ♪
♪ But then I missed her ♪
♪ I wanted to have sex ♪
♪ My love would flow just like a fountain ♪
♪ Oh, it's the definition of Space Mountain ♪
-♪ I also had a girl by the same name ♪
-♪ Coincidence ♪
-♪ Went to the theme park and oh, what a shame ♪
♪ Still, for her my love does linger ♪
♪ But she slipped through my popcorn buttery fingers ♪
-[ Spoken ] Oh, Melissa, you were so great,
even though I had to pay $1,000 for the date.
It's really bad you died, oh, no, no, no.
I felt so sorry when you went to the Whack-a-Hoe.
-♪ Oh, Melissa, Melissa ♪
♪ In heaven, what are you doing? ♪
♪ Making love to you in a costume, that was your ruin ♪
♪ Yeah, because my heart could not get any bigger ♪
♪ She died when we made love and I was dressed as Tigger ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
[ Cheering ]
-I was expecting "A Small World After All."
-Whoa!
-I didn't know where we were going.
-I made you worried for a second.
-Alright guys, don't move.
There's more "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
right after this, stay tuned.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", everyone,
where we are going to play a game called "Dubbing."
This is a game for Wayne, Ryan and Colin. Come this way.
In this game, we're going to involve our star guest,
so please, give it up for the star of
"American Pie," "Buffy," and "How I Met Your Mother"
and your dreams, Alyson Hannigan!
[ Cheering ]
-Hey! -Hello, how are you?
-Alright.
So the way this game works is that Colin and Wayne
are going to act a scene out with Alyson,
but Alyson, you're not gonna use your own voice.
Your lines will be provided by Ryan.
-Oh, I'm sorry. -Just kind of move your lips
when he talks and just try to hold on to your sanity.
And the scene is that teenage sweethearts
Wayne and Alyson are rehearsing a song
for their high school musical, when suddenly,
school bully Colin arrives to demand the main part.
And then at some point, Laura and Linda
are going to play some amazing music.
And whenever you're ready, off you go.
-[ Ryan speaking ] Wayne, I don't think I'm gonna
get this number down.
I don't think I have what it takes.
-That's not true.
I--I think you're the best singer
and instrumentalist in the entire school.
-Oh, you seem a little insecure.
-I'm just nervous around you. I mean, you're so experienced.
I mean, that one time at band camp...
[ Laughter ]
-Thanks for letting me play your tuba.
You know, the musical instrument tuba.
-Um, I'd love to sing with you. -Oh, alright.
-Do you want to warm up first?
-No, I think I'll just take the lead and go first.
-Alright. Hit it. [ Clears throat ]
[ Music playing ]
-♪ Ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ♪
♪ Ha ha ha, I love you ♪
♪ I love you, love you ♪
♪ I love you more than the sand loves the beach ♪
♪ I said I love you, I said I love you ♪
♪ You're so close to within my reach ♪
♪ Ha ha ha, ha ha ha ♪
-Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
-Pierre. -Yeah me, Pierre, the bully.
-Stand--Stand back, Alyson. I'll handle this.
[ Laughter ]
-I'll take care of him. Swivel Hips.
-I demand the lead part. You know I can do this part.
-I don't think you have what it takes.
-Oh, you still take that long to talk?
-Yes, yes, sometimes I do,
and other times, I talk quickly, okay?
-It's taken you long enough to graduate from high school.
[ Laughing weakly ]
-Burn, burn, burn!
-I have a learning disability!
Let's make fun of that, why don't you?
-Oh, I'm sorry. -Yeah, I'm sorry too!
-Hey, wait -- -Do you think I'm a bully
because I want to?
I have issues! -Wait, it's --
-I need this part more than you do.
I've never had a part. -I'm sorry.
-Oh, now you're sorry? -Maybe we misjudged you.
Maybe we should give you a chance to audition.
-Here's the sheet music.
-I'm not auditioning, I'm doing it.
-Oh. Cool. Cool.
-I still...
[ Music playing ]
-I'll just play the tuba over here.
♪♪
-I'll sing with you. -Alright.
-♪ Love between me and you ♪
♪ I said, love ♪ -♪ Love, love ♪
♪ Between me and you ♪ -♪ That's what we do ♪
-I said love ♪ -♪ Love, love ♪
-♪ Lovely-lovey-lovey love ♪ -♪ Love, love ♪
-Your turn.
-♪ The first time I saw you, I knew that we were lovers ♪
♪ We went together like a hand inside a big, big glover ♪
♪ You look at me, look deep into my eyes ♪
♪ And tell me that you don't feel a natural high ♪
♪ Because, woo, woo, woo ♪
-Stop, stop, stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop it!
Stop it! Don't do it anymore! Stop!
Stop! Just stop it now! You stop!
-You offended everyone. -Stop it!
Cease and desist!
Stop.
Stop it, just stop it. Stop, just stop.
-Your nether regions made a really weird noise.
-I'm 73.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheering ]
-Alyson Hannigan, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-♪ I said, I love, I love you ♪
-She's a really good singer. -Yeah.
-Yes.
I also want to give Colin's points for
imbuing your bully with so much pathos and...
-Thank you. -And yes.
-This became an after-school special real quick.
-It really did.
Alright, well, now, friends,
we're going to play a game called "Scenes From a Hat."
-Woo! -For all of our performers.
-Ryan and Colin are there, Wayne and Gary are here.
Now, before our show,
we asked the audience to write down scenes
that they'd like to see acted out by our performers.
I've got those suggestions in this hat.
I'll read them out. We'll see what our guys can come up with.
Here we go. "Superheroes in old age."
Oh, well, this will be good for everybody here.
[ Laughter ]
I'm old, too. Relax.
"Superheroes in old age."
-You can try to run,
but I'll trip you up with a kidney stone.
[ Imitates squelch ]
-Ohh.
[ Buzzer ]
-Your friendly neighborhood Spider-man.
[ Imitates puff of dry air ]
-Just dust, just dust.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-I can still be faster than a speeding bullet
if I take a regularly, My [bleep] A-Floppin'.
[ Laughter ]
-Robin, I can't see anymore.
I've got Bataracts.
-Oh, yes.
-Whoosh!
[ Laughter ]
-"When a big hug is not appropriate."
-Up against your car, sir. -Oh.
-You know why I pulled you over? -Yes, I do.
-Do you know why I pulled you over?
-The same reason you pulled me over last week.
-Shkunk, shkunk, shkunk.
[ Imitates electricity buzzing ] -No!
-You're gonna regret this.
[ Both imitate being electrocuted ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Push, Mrs. Johnson. Push, Mrs. Johnson!
Do you need encouragement?
Okay. Push!
[ Buzzer ]
-And that's how I met your mother.
[ Laughter ] -There we go.
-"Unusual parts of the body to sing a love song about."
-♪ I don't care about your g-spot ♪
♪ I can't find it anyway ♪
♪ I don't care ♪ -♪ We don't care ♪
♪ About your g-spot ♪
[ Loud buzzer ]
-♪ Not ever, not today ♪
-Alright, guys we're going to take a little break.
Don't go anywhere, there's more "Whose Line?" after this.
♪♪
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
where we are going to play a game called "Helping Hands."
-Yes!
-This game is for Ryan and Colin and also our star guest.
So please welcome back to the show,
the fantastic Alyson Hannigan!
[ Cheering ]
-Hi, Alyson. -Hi!
-Okay, so. -Oh, no.
-In this game, Ryan and Alyson
are going to act out a situation,
but Ryan can't use his own arms, alright?
Colin's going to provide those for him.
And the scene you'll be acting out
is that Ryan is running a German-themed food stall
when his ex-girlfriend Alyson arrives.
-Oh, my word. Alright. -It's gonna go great.
-Yeah, that's what my agent said.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh. Hello, Janice. What brings you by?
-Well, I wouldn't have come if I knew you were here.
-Well, you knew I had a booth here.
It's been advertised all over town.
Is that what you came for?
Because that's not yours anymore.
-I do miss your wienerschnitzel.
-I miss you too sometimes.
-No, no. -What?
-You just -- You just really --
-Give it to me.
Let me show you how to work the sausage.
-Okay.
-You squeeze it so tight, then you just --
We should have something to drink first.
-Okay. -I think we've had too much.
Let me have a little Cognac or whatever is in this bottle.
Take that top off.
It's a screw-top, so you know it's good stuff.
-Yeah, yeah. -Ah, little glasses down here.
Let me grab a little glass for you.
There's two there, yes. -Okay.
-Here's a little bit for you.
-Yeah, oh. -There you go.
-Thank you. -And a little bit for me.
Let's hope this is the real [bleep]. Alright.
-Cheers. -To us.
-To us. We're -- -We're what? -
-Well, I just -- I'm just torn.
Should we get back together? -Damn you!
Can't you have a simple toast with me?
-I'm sorry. Okay, okay. Let's toast, here.
Okay, yeah.
Did you try that?
-I -- I did not. -I think you want to try that.
-Mm. -Yeah.
There's more of that if you come back to me.
-Would you let me use the mustard this time?
-Is it the hot and spicy mustard?
-Oh you know it is. -I like it on my hands.
You know that. Just put it all over my hands.
-Just, yeah. -Oh, yeah!
-Oh! -Oh, oh.
-Come on. -That is fragrant.
-That is so good.
-Oh, mustard. Just spray it on me.
-Come on. -Spray it on me.
-Okay.
-God, I wish I could remember your name.
-You don't need to know my name. -Stop it. Stop it.
That's all I am to you, just condiments.
Condiments....Hello. -Hello, baby.
-Hello, my little friend. -Hello.
-Have you met my little friend?
-Do you remember that?
But wait, you've got to have some mustard.
Come on, baby. -Ha-ha! The cap was on.
[ Laughter ]
You don't get second chances on this one!
-Ohh! Alright. You got me there.
-You know, I like to think of you as my little cutlet.
-Oh.
-How about we toast by splitting this cutlet in half?
-Okay. -What?
-I like that.
And we need some more drink to go with the cutlet.
-How about this Veisenheisen. A beer. How about that?
-Yes, here you go. -I can get it myself.
-This is why we're not together anymore.
-I know, I know.
-I'm capable of doing things on my own, you know.
-I understand. Alright. So we're not cheersing?
-We are cheersing. -Oh, your finger is --
-I like to shake it up a little bit.
Put some cake on here. Help me get this off with some cake.
Put some cake on it to loosen it up.
-There we go. -That's it, oh.
-That's better.
-You know, watching you work my finger out of that bottle...
-You miss me, don't you? -I do miss you.
-But I'm here now.
-That's true. -Offering you cake.
-You know how much I love cake and long makeup sessions.
-I do.
-No, I want you to feed me while I feed you.
-Okay.
[ Applause ]
I'll feed you.
-How did yours get so much bigger all of a sudden?
-I wish I could say that to you.
-Oh.
[ Laughter ]
-Mm. -Mm!
-Oh. -So good.
-You know what I remember about you,
is how much you like mustard on your cake.
[ Audience groans ]
-God, you're such a bitch! You know what I like!
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
-Give it up for Alyson Hannigan, everyone!
[ Cheering ]
[ Applause ]
-C'mon, guys. C'mon. Anybody?
-Alright, guys.
I'll tell you who won our show right after the break.
There's more "Whose Line?" right after this.
-Hey, everyone.
Welcome to back "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
That is our show.
Tonight, all four of you lovely gentlemen won the night,
so I'd like you to join our very special guest
Alyson Hannigan and read out the credits
as if you're all high schoolers at band camp
rehearsing for a concert.
Thanks for watching everybody. Good night.
[ Cheering ]
-I play the triangle. -Oh, my God.
Dan Patterson does too. -Yeah? He taught me.
-Geraldine Dowd plays the oboe.
-Oh, really? Oh.
I've heard Ryan is terrible at the trombone.
-There's mustard in my tuba! -Oh.
-That can't be good.
Maybe you should have some Gary Hubb wash that out.
What do you play?
-Uh, I play...Regina.
-Oh! That must be interesting. I've never heard of one.
-It's great. I love her. -Oh!
♪♪