-Good evening, everybody, and welcome to
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
On tonight's show, OMG, it's Wayne Brady.
LOL, it's Jonathan Mangum.
LMAO, it's Colin Mochrie.
And G-O-A-T, it's Ryan Stiles.
And I'm Aisha Tyler.
Let's make some stuff up!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome, everybody.
Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?",
the show where everything is made up
and the points do not matter.
We've got a fantastic show for you tonight,
and we're going to start right now
with a game called "Questions."
This is for all four of our performers, in two pairs.
Jonathan and Ryan are there. Colin and Wayne are here.
Come down, collect your box of stuff.
The way this game works is that
Wayne and Jonathan will begin a scene,
but they can only speak in questions.
And I'll buzz when one of them makes a mistake.
But then the person behind them will step in
to take their place.
However, each time they come in, they have to assume
a different character, according to the wig or hat
they are wearing on their round and shining heads.
And the scene that you'll --
[ Laughter ]
And the scene, gentlemen, you'll be acting out
is called "Passions Erupt At a Busy Airport Terminal."
Whenever you're ready, take it away, Wayne and Jonathan.
Can you tell from my head that this matches the suggestion?
-Oh. You -- are you the pilot, you?
-[ Buzzer ] -What the hell was that?
-Are you the pilot?
-Would you like to join the Mile High Club?
-How high is that?
-Would you believe six inches?
-What exactly are you suggesting?
[ Buzzer ]
-Could I offer you some nuts?
-Are they free?
-Aren't you the captain?
-Do I look like the captain?
-Are you high as a kite?
-What's with the questions?
-Should I put something on?
-Like what? -Do you like negligees?
-Do you have one?
-Is black your color?
-What's it made out of? -Is aluminum too wild?
It's an al-- oh [bleep]
[ Laughter ]
-Will my plastic surgery get messed up in the sky?
-What?
-Are you pretending to not love me?
-How can I love you?
-Where would you love me?
[ Buzzer ]
-Are you ready for the vacation?
-Do I look like I'm ready to taste your hair?
-Do you like cotton candy?
-Too much.
[ Buzzer ]
Oh!
-You have a reservation for Mochrie?
[ Laughter ]
-Are you single?
-I'm Canadian.
[ Buzzer ]
-What's your final destination?
-Would you believe I'm having a problem breathing?
-Could it be the mask?
-Can you help me?
[ Buzzer ]
-Why do you destroy things every time you were on the show?
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I tried to make a little --
I was just trying to make the mouth hole a little bigger
because I really couldn't breathe.
-It was like a very tiny feeble hulk.
-Yes! -Ah!
I don't know who to give points to there.
There was just there was so much art imitating life.
[ Laughter ]
All right. And now we're going to play a game called "Duet."
This game is for Wayne and Jonathan,
accompanied by the fantastic Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
And joining us is our celebrity guest.
Please welcome model, dancer, and hostess from
"Let's Make a Deal," Tiffany Coyne!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Tiffany. -All right.
Wayne and Jonathan, you are going to be singing
a song with Tiffany, and you'll be singing
in the style of '80s rock.
I know you're ready. Take it away.
-All right. So we're going to do the song.
And this is the music video,
so you'll act out the lyrics of the song that we sing.
-Okay. -So you are the human
music video.
-Okay. I'm ready. -All right.
-So we need something that is undeniably unsexy
to make sexy in this song.
-You got to raise your hand. Got to raise your hand.
You right there. -Bowling.
-Bowling. Let's go. Hit it, ladies.
♪♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Oh, I'm walking to the bowling alley ♪
♪ She was standing right next to my lane ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
-♪ She was ready for a good time tonight ♪
♪ She was looking so good, I can't explain ♪
♪ She walked up, and she grabbed the ball ♪
♪ And she looked me dead in my eye ♪
♪ She said, Where do we begin to knock down these pins? ♪
♪ You want to give it a try? ♪
-♪ She the girl that I like ♪
♪ Look at her throw that strike ♪
♪ She's a girl that I like ♪
♪ Look at her making speed ♪
♪ It was so weird the way she would bowl ♪
♪ She would assume these animal poses ♪
♪ It was crazy the way that she did it ♪
♪ The way you're not supposed to ♪
♪ I said, "Yo, girl," I said, "What is up?" ♪
♪ How do you bowl while doing 30 push ups? ♪
-♪ How do you bowl while doing 30 pushups? ♪
♪ How do you bowl while doing 30 push ups? ♪
♪ Oh, she did it one handed ♪
♪ But then that's not the best part ♪
♪ She did a split, and then she got up again ♪
Oh, no.
♪ I could never do that ♪
♪ That's what I would say ♪
-♪ She can bowl ♪
♪ She was bowling ♪
♪ She was bowling because of that split ♪
♪ Her butt was holing ♪
♪ That's what actually happened, you see ♪
-♪ What's that? ♪
-♪ While we was bowling, a guy came in with a mask ♪
♪ She foiled a robbery ♪
♪ He came in with a mask ♪
♪ You with a gun, you know, all of a sudden ♪
♪ She did bowling judo with and hit him with the ball ♪
♪ She hit him two times, and then he went down ♪
♪ She kicked him where his ball was shining ♪
-♪ He did a flip in the air and he landed without whining ♪
-♪ I'm not whining ♪
-♪ She was bowling ♪
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Guys!
Tiffany Coyne, everybody! Tiffany Coyne!
Come on, everybody. Give it up. That was awesome.
-I hope she didn't hurt herself.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Alright, guys, don't move.
There's more "Whose Line" right after these messages.
Stay where you are.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
And now we play a game called "Props."
This is for all four of our performance in two pairs.
Alright. Colin and Wayne, these are your props.
And, Ryan and Jonathan, get back!
-Oh, my God. What? -All right.
So the way that this game works
is that each team has got a different set of props.
They've got to use them in as many interesting ways
as they possibly can.
So, Ryan and Jonathan, whenever you're ready,
take it away.
-It's my last quarter.
-Ding ding ding.
-Oh, oh, oh, ah!
[ Buzzer ]
-So if you see here, you can see the baby kicking.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh. It's a boy.
[ Laughter ]
-Where's that ski lift?
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
-Play with me, Bartholomew.
Our weight seems to be unevenly distributed.
-Yes.
[ Laughter ]
-We should probably settle down here for the night.
-Alright.
[ Neighing ]
-And the silver medal goes to...
the Canadians.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
Oh, this should have been the horses.
What the hell were we doing?
[ Laughter ]
We were riding the horses' penises.
-Oh, no!
-I say, it's lovely going down the Mississippi
in my steamboats.
-Oh, that surely is a timely reference, Mr. Twain.
All of the kids are enjoying a good steamboat reference
on the CW.
-[ Buzzer ] -The boats are my demise.
Let's try out this boomerang.
[ Buzzer ]
-So tell me, Ironside.
-[ Buzzer ] -I tell ya, Mark.
-Timely. -Timely references
from this century.
[ Laughter ]
Kids love a good Ironside joke.
-Yes.
-We were getting ready to hit that Perry Mason next.
-You had John Wayne in there.
-Oh, yes.
-As current as you could possibly be.
-Mark Twain. -Yes.
-It's all about learning tonight.
-And now we're playing game called "Living Scenery."
This game is for Ryan, Colin, and Wayne. So come on down.
You're going to need some help in the scene,
so please welcome back from
"Let's Make a Deal," Tiffany Coyne!
[ Cheers and applause ]
All right.
Guys, you're all going to act out a scene for us.
And during the scene, you'll need a number of props.
Wayne and Tiffany, you'll stand in
and be the props for this scene.
And the scene is that Ryan and Colin are a married couple
having a fun-filled day at the world's most exciting water park
before heading back to their accommodations.
Whenever you're ready, take it away.
-You're going to go down the slide one more time?
-Let's go. -Let's get your tube.
-All right.
Oh, you're going to use the jumbo tube.
-Apparently. -Oh, wow. Okay.
-I'm not feeling confident about this.
-No. Get into the tube.
Slip underneath the tube.
What are you talking -- You know how to get into a tube!
-I know how to get into a tube.
Let's not make this a bad day.
-Let's not talk about this for another 15 minutes.
-Well, okay. Well, I'm not going to.
I'm going in the tube.
All right.
Here we go!
-Good luck and wild adventure!
-Wow!
I'm heading for a dark hole!
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, here you come, honey! Here you come. Oh, good job.
-Oh, God. That was so scary!
-Wait, let me get a towel for you.
You're welcome.
-Wait a second, okay.
-Dry off with that towel, honey.
-All right, just make sure my hands are
nowhere near the towel.
-That's right.
There you go. You're all dry now.
-All right. Thanks. -You're all dry.
-Thanks, hon. You're the best. -Oh, yeah?
-You know what? You haven't done any rides today.
-You know my back. I don't like rides too much.
I want to play in the fountain, though.
-Oh, play in the fountain.
-One of those fountains that shoots up at different times.
Oh, oh, no.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, this one's going to come right up underneath me.
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Okay, honey.
Oh. Should we pack it in for the day?
-First of all, how did you get a dry cigarette?
-It doesn't matter. I'm having so much fun here.
Thank you so much.
-You know what? This has been so --
why don't we head up to the hotel room
and see what happens from there.
-Let's take the elevator.
I don't want to walk the stairs again.
-All right.
These elevators are so small.
-Let's open the door.
That damn muzak.
[ Imitating muzak ]
-Oh! I hadn't actually pressed the button.
-Wait. The elevator's stuck.
Call on the phone. Call on the phone.
-I've got it.
-Hello? -Hello. Security.
-Oh, yeah. We're trapped in the elevator.
-All right, we'll send someone right around to get you.
-He just tailed off at the end.
-I know.
-You didn't hang it up. -I did. I hung it up.
-Oh, you did? Okay.
-Alright. Oh, wait. We can crank this door open.
-Here it goes, oh, the freeway.
Oh, here we are by the suite.
-You know I love this suite. You know what I love?
I love the mural right here of
Adam and Eve.
-Oh, it's beautiful.
[ Laughter ]
-This was right after the castration.
-It's so -- honey, play me a song on the piano.
I love your piano playing.
-Do you? -I do indeed.
-All right.
♪ Ebony and... ♪
What?
-It sounds like you're off tune.
You should tune the piano before you do that.
-Well, let me lift it up and check the strings.
Oh, yeah. I'll just tighten them.
These ones are fine.
Um...
-I guess it's time to maybe head into bed.
-Oh.
-Looks like I'm on the right side of the bed.
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Let's hear it for Tiffany!
-Come on, everybody! Give it up for Tiffany Coyne!
Thank you. Tiffany Coyne, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hey, guys, do not go anywhere.
There's more "Whose Line" right after this.
-Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
We're going to keep things going now
with a game called "Greatest Hits."
This is a game for all four of our performers,
with Laura Hall and Linda Taylor
on piano and guitar.
So come on down.
The way this works is that
Wayne and Jonathan are going to be
television voiceover announcers.
-Oh!
-And Ryan and Colin are going to say snippets of the songs.
[ Cheering ]
So I need a suggestion.
What do you mind is what is a job
in the medical profession, guys?
Yell it out.
What's a job when you work in the medical profession?
Oh, ho! Candy striper.
[ Laughter ]
Unusual and exciting suggestion, guys.
If you don't know, a candy striper is a volunteer nurse.
They are nice people that come help you at the hospital.
The album is "Songs of the Candy Striper."
Take it away.
-Hello, everybody. Welcome back. -Welcome back.
You know, songs don't come on CDs anymore.
That's old.
-So there's nothing like a good candy striper.
Nothing like -- they are a third responder,
and they deserve our -- they deserve our support.
-They do. -Nothing but.
So I said that I was going to take you to...
-Hawaii. -...Hawaii.
The medical care in Hawaii
is so great that it makes me want to sing this song.
But we're not going to sing it.
Those bastards are.
[ Cheers and applause ]
23 years of pent-up anger.
Only one song.
And this song is called,
"Oh, Look, Rich Old Guy, Got To Get Some of That."
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-[ Singing in faux Hawaiian language ]
♪ Oh, in comes the man with lots of money ♪
♪ Laying down on the bed ♪
-♪ On the bed ♪
-♪ Laying down money, flying out of his pockets ♪
♪ Here comes the nurse, she's there ♪
[ Singing in faux Hawaiian language ]
-♪ All around this just lovely nation ♪
♪ Here we have cultural appropriation ♪
♪ But that's fine because we're going to help ♪
♪ People be healthy today ♪
[ Singing in faux Hawaiian language ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-This just in. -Yes?
-Hawaii has seceded from the Union.
-Finally they seceded.
-You know what I love more than going to Hawaii?
-Going to your friend's apartment?
-Exactly. My friend in Las Vegas.
-I love it. -In Las Vegas,
Started by Bugsy Siegel.
-Yeah. -The famous gangster.
And Las Vegas gave us the...
-Rat Pack! -Rat Pack!
-But wait a second.
I just don't want to hear a Rat Pack song.
-No? -I'm a big Rat Pack fan.
I want to hear all the members of the Rat Pack at some point.
I'm talking Sammy Davis Jr.,
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin,
and Joey Bishop.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-What's the song called?
-"Those Numbers Are Low."
♪♪
-I'm gonna go stand over by the piano here.
-All right.
-♪ Your numbers are low ♪
♪ How low can your numbers go? ♪
♪ Oh, your numbers ain't high ♪
♪ We're ready to say goodbye to you ♪
[ Laughter ]
Take it, Frank.
-Alright.
♪ Went to the hospital room ♪
♪ Said, "Hey, your numbers are low" ♪
♪ You crazy broad take some medicine ♪
♪ Your numbers are low ♪
-[ Scatting, vocalizing ]
-Joey Bishop here.
-Tell us a joke, Joey.
-All right.
I fell down an elevator shaft.
The doctor came to me. He said, "Are you comfortable?"
I said, "I make a living."
-Crazy, man.
[ Laughter ]
[ Scatting, vocalizing ]
-Oh. -Oh.
[ Scatting, vocalizing ]
[ Singing gibberish ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-They're singing stuff.
-It's just that easy. Thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Don't move, guys.
I've got a winner for you after this short break.
Stay tuned.
-Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
That's our show.
Tonight, all four of you lovely gentlemen won the night.
So please join our special guest, Tiffany Coyne,
and read out the credits as if Tiffany and Wayne are
choreographers teaching the others
a spectacular new routine.
Thanks for watching, everybody. Good night.
-All right. Everyone.
Here we go. This is made famous by Dan Patterson.
-Five, six, seven, eight.
-That's it.
Show me some Louis Patterson.
Tyler, Stiles, Stiles, Stiles.
And shimmy. What are you --
-I just have to get some ointment.
-All right. You go get some. You go help him.
Are you all right? -I'm all right.
I threw out my back. -Oh, no.
Then you should go with them.
-Oh. Did they throw out their backs, too?
-Yes. They all did.
-We all saw the same thing.
-- Captions by VITAC --