Kane is in the building, nigga...
Now tell me how you love it You know you at the top
When only heaven's right above it, we on
'Cause we on
Who else is really trying to fuck with Hollywood Cole?
I'm with Marley G, bro
Flying Holly Grove chicks to my Hollywood shows
And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know
This that Slumdog Millionaire Bollywood flow
And...
My real friends never hearing from me
Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me
That's why I pick and choose I don't get shit confused
Don't like my women single I like my chicks in twos
And these days all the girls is down to roll
I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole
Plus, I been sippin' So this shit is movin' kinda slow
Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go
Big shot.
Now where the fuck is Patrick?
Where is Patrick?
He's playing hide and seek.
I hide him. You seek him.
- That's a dangerous game. - Not really.
If Pat doesn't suit up, then he can't get hurt.
You really wanna go there?
I just did. It's your move.
Patrick is a principled guy.
You are now staring down the barrel
of a Le'Veon Bell situation.
Are you okay with that?
I'm on my way back to LA right now.
When I land, we're gonna hammer out this deal.
Make sure you bring your checkbook.
You make sure you find your client.
You wanna make a fucking deal, bitch?
I'm waiting for you.
Some people are in a constant state of conflict.
They need it to survive.
Others despise it,
but no matter how hard they try...
they can't avoid it.
Where do I stand?
Do you need to ask?
To the victor go the spoils.
Meditation.
Breathing.
God, you're becoming so LA, Charles.
How'd you find me?
Benny said you were taking your lunches out here.
Benny talks a lot.
Yeah, well, he's a comer.
Be good to him. Cultivate that relationship.
What's wrong with you, Charles?
You stressing out about your deal?
Trying not to stress out about anything.
Doctor told me to find a place that resonates with me.
- "Resonates"? - Yeah.
Help keep my cortisol levels down.
Okay, I'll bite, Charles.
What exactly does elevated cortisol cause?
Well, according to WebMD, muscle weakness, spasms,
severe irritability, extreme fatigue,
constipation, headaches, anxiety, inflammation.
Basically, it makes you die faster.
Shit, I think I got that too, Charles.
So, you know what?
We're all freakin' dying, huh?
But who amongst us has really lived?
Hmm?
- Hmm. - Yeah.
Forget about the beach. Forget about the ocean.
I find that the most impactful way
to fight inflammation is with success,
which is why I think you're gonna be very excited to hear
that I'm offering you an extension.
$10 million over four years.
Now, how's your cortisol now, motherfucker?
- I thought you hated me. - No.
Well, love and hate are closely aligned.
But you've done an excellent job.
Then why do you torture me?
Why does my wife torture me?
'Cause it makes me better. See?
That's what... That's what partnership is all about.
That was a good talk. Thank you.
Seems like there has to be a better way.
Well, if you find it, please be sure to tell me about it.
But in the meantime, let's keep this train chugging along.
All right? All right.
Hey, I'ma need to talk to my wife before I commit.
Yeah, of course. Who doesn't?
Nah. It's different this time.
I had a heart attack. Two of them, actually.
Yeah, I know. Benny told me.
Babe, what time are we eating?
It's almost done.
Who is it?
You got wax in your ears, man? Who is it?
It's an unknown caller.
What you two whispering about?
Well, you know what? I ain't afraid no more.
Put it on speaker. Let's see who it is.
Pick it up.
Hello?
Hi. Is this Ricky Jerret?
Fuck. She sounds sexy. You should've been afraid.
Yeah, this is Ricky Jerret's phone.
Oh, okay.
Spit it out, bitch.
This is Derek McLay's office.
Is Ricky available to speak with him?
What, Derek can't dial his own calls?
Put him through.
- I love you. - Mmm-hmm.
Ricky.
Sorry for the cold call, but it had to be done.
I love the radio show. Think your POV is 100.
Can we meet up?
Talk about some projects you'd be perfect for?
The only projects that I know about I ain't going back to.
No. No, opportunities in media.
You could talk to my assistant.
Set some shit up.
How pretentious do you have to be
to have someone dial your phone?
No more pretentious than to have someone answer it for you.
TTD here. How may I help?
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Feeling unknown And you're all alone
Flesh and bone By the telephone
Lift up the receiver I'll make you a believer
Good morning, motherfuckers.
Are you ready to annihilate the competition?
Not this fuckwad over here.
Closer to annihilating each other.
What's going on?
Occupational hazard
of protecting your younger dickwad brother...
Okay, okay, look, look. It looked fine yesterday.
Yeah, but this morning, it swelled up like a cantaloupe.
- This doesn't look good. - Do you think, Reg?
Can you still play?
Oh, Jesus! I don't like that, mate.
It looks like the Elephant Man's cock.
Yo, man, I've seen worse.
Last year, Jason Kelce stepped on V's hand.
Broke a couple knuckles.
My metacarpal's fucked.
Oi. You gotta play, mate. It's nonnegotiable.
I'm not sure I can.
No disrespect, Lavar,
but true players play with pain.
Yeah, man, you gotta suck it up.
- Well said. - We are warriors.
Surrendering's what white people do.
Benedict Arnold, Jesus... All cowards.
Hey, man, it's time to call Doc Golden.
He's an orthopedist?
Not exactly.
The mighty hero returns with the spoils of war.
Kill him with kindness, not sarcasm.
Good to see you both, too.
What, did you get us a gift?
No, all this caffeine is for me
because I'm not leaving here without a deal.
- Nice machine you got there. - Oh, yeah.
We really stepped it up around here since you've been gone.
Well, you sure have.
I'd make this coffee myself,
but that machine looks way too complicated.
So, don't forget to add the vanilla,
because it cuts out all the bitterness.
I like it bitter.
Miss you, baby.
Wish we could celebrate in person.
I miss you too, baby. And congratulations.
You deserve it.
I thought you said Werner hated you, though?
Maybe I was wrong. Ha!
Well, maybe does hate you.
He just realizes he can't live without you.
- Is that how you feel? - Of course not.
- That's a silly question. - Good.
Baby, can you tell me you love me?
I love you.
But why are you acting insecure?
Yeah...
Uh...
I had a couple heart attacks.
What?
Minor ones. No big deal.
I didn't even know I had 'em until they told me in the ER.
You had a fucking heart attack, Charles, and you didn't tell me?
I didn't wanna worry you.
And what do you call what you're doing right now?
Listen, relax, baby. It's all good.
I'm all good.
And if it's any consolation,
I didn't accept Werner's offer because I told him
I needed to discuss it with you first.
Oh, oh. That's what we're discussing?
Charles, you have lost your motherfucking mind.
Besides the fact that I am a doctor, I am your wife.
I think that smog and that job have gotten to your head.
We're not talking about anything
except your physical condition anytime soon, asshole.
Universal Studios.
Home of Jaws, Breakfast Club, Animal House.
You couldn't get that movie made today.
Hell, nah, that's why we're here right now,
to bring the flavor back.
The world's gone too PC, and it's killing comedy.
And that's coming from a victim.
Well, what do we know about making movies?
Just as much as the niggas making 'em.
Ricky Jerret here to see Derek McLay.
Thought maybe y'all were here for the Ja Rule video shoot.
I'm just fucking with you.
And you thought comedy was dead, too.
I did. That I did.
That was good.
It's nice to see some brothers on the lot.
- My man. - All right.
We like what you're doing on Sirius,
but you have a face that should be seen, man.
- Thank you. - Hmm.
I prefer to be heard.
The hot-take thing comes at a price, especially to his friends.
Saying what's on your mind is dope.
And with our help, we think what you got going could be really good.
Oh. So, it's not good already?
Let me rephrase that.
It's good for a first timer.
But with our support, we can make something great.
You believe this guy? "First timer."
I couldn't agree more.
- Let's make it great. - Tell me something, Derek.
What's not so great about our shit?
Well, it's not that it's not so great.
We'd just love to hone your point of view.
You don't like my point of view now?
He didn't say that.
Just wanna focus you a little,
add some... topspin to it.
- I don't fuck with tennis. - This is what execs do.
Do your thing.
We wanna make your show a platform
for bigger opportunities going forward, much bigger.
You trying to turn me into Steve Harvey?
Try Michael Strahan.
Hell, yeah. You'd be great with that Kelly.
- That's right. - I love her, man.
- Is she as firm as she looks? - I would imagine.
I don't know. I've never felt her.
Derek, tell me something concrete, man.
I don't have it yet. This is just the beginning.
For someone with a lot of opinions, you ain't got no answers, man.
Ricky! Come on, man. He didn't mean it like that.
Yes, I did.
Got me driving through the Valley in the middle of rush hour.
You know how long it's gonna take to fucking get home?
I'm sorry, look, just get the Obamas involved.
I guarantee, he'll be back. Do your thing.
Yeah, this is only gonna hurt a little bit.
Now I know this shit's gonna kill.
Uh, what type of doctor are you exactly?
Yo, who said he was a doctor?
- You did, asshole. - Nah.
That's just what we call him, Doc Golden.
He works with horses, mostly. It's just a nickname.
He's a healer, like Jesus, but with needles.
He's like our go-to guy for anything pain management.
Couldn't have made it through high school without him.
Yo, is there another way that we could do this?
Would you prefer I grab your nuts and tell you to cough?
- No. - A'ight.
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
How long before it kicks in, Doc?
Now.
Okay.
Who wants a lollipop?
You just come here today to pay your bullshit forward?
- Isn't that more your thing? - This is gonna be fun.
Oh, I come in peace, Jay.
- Just tell us what you got. - Sure.
I'm prepared to meet the Russell deal.
Leading with an olive branch.
See? That's nice.
I will admit that I was overly aggressive
with our counteroffer,
so I'm willing to lose the salary-cap escalator.
A cricket is still closer to licking its balls
than you are to getting a deal done.
Oh, I see. So, you're telling me the Russell deal doesn't get this done?
Not for you.
- Does he have to be here? - Do you?
- I do. - This is my house.
Why don't you send your underlings again?
Can we just keep this nice, polite, professional?
Hey, can we get some more coffee and a bag of Depends?
- Mmm. - It's gonna be a long one.
Coffee, or maybe cocaine?
You wanna go back to... Yeah, get him some cocaine.
Your boss loves that.
I will knock $25 million off the ask right now.
Not one division leader had one of the highest-paid quarterbacks.
You can't leave your guy out there on that island alone.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wonder what that must look like, huh,
when one guy only looks out for himself and gets everything?
You know what? Fuck this.
Oh, what? You're gonna... You're running away again?
- This is bullshit. - Oh, what a shocker.
- Spence... - When the going gets tough,
the tough get the fuck outta here.
- Oh, is that right? - Okay.
Don't walk. Don't walk.
You're in this business because of me.
Oh! And you're only in this business at all because of me!
No one would hire you back then. No one!
What the fuck is your problem?
You wanna know what my problem is?
Let's figure it out. Uh... Okay.
You were my partner, and you bailed.
I was doing it for you.
Like you'd do anything for someone other than yourself.
Says the guy with no wife, no kids, and no fucking friends.
Yeah, I had a wife. She died.
Sure, I wasn't all broken up about it, but it counts for something.
And you know what?
Spencer, for the record...
you were my friend.
You're right.
You happy now?
Yeah, a little bit.
"A little bit"? Well, smile.
I said I was happy. Don't push it, Spence.
I see. You want me to go all in.
Joe... I'm sorry.
I should've stuck it out with you, and I didn't.
And I apologize.
Thank you.
I really appreciate you saying that.
Ah.
Well, you know, I wanna tell you,
- the place looks great. - Doesn't it look great?
- It does. - Right? Yeah.
And your wardrobe looks great.
- Ah, forget... This old thing? - You didn't even need...
You're kicking ass. You're killing it.
Oh, man.
You should see our plans for expansion.
I'll show 'em to you. They're fucking epic.
- Yeah? - Did you kiss and make up?
How does 150 sound?
And...
That.
That could work.
Hmm.
Mr. Thompson?
Hey. Charles.
Come on in.
Why don't you, uh, grab yourself a seat? Hmm?
I was gonna make myself a cocktail.
Join me.
No, thank you, sir, but I'm good.
Ah. Nonsense.
Best thing for a heart attack.
Single malt.
Scotch is good for the heart?
I don't know about all that,
but at least it'll have you worrying less.
Huh?
About my worrying...
Your offer was very generous,
but I have reservations.
Oh, it's just fear.
Yeah, four years is a substantial commitment.
No, no, I have no problems with commitment.
Good!
Then let's go further.
Part of me wants to do just that.
Part of me wants to stay and ride it till the wheels fall off.
We'll get new wheels. We'll get better wheels. Bigger wheels.
But the other part of me doesn't wanna die.
You're not gonna die, Charles.
I might if I keep working at this pace.
You know I respect you, right, Charles?
Regardless of how I've shown it.
Quite frankly, your bluntness has been, uh, quite refreshing.
Yeah.
But... I agree with you.
I've been hard on you,
maybe too hard on you.
In part, it's because
I was just preparing you for the rigors of the job,
and in part, it's because
I stopped taking my Lexapro.
That may have been a mistake.
Maybe so, but either way...
you are groomed and you are ready to take the helm.
I'm gonna give you free rein to do whatever you want, whenever you want.
This isn't just more money.
This is a promotion.
I've decided to sweeten up my offer,
and I am gonna make you president.
So, congratulations, Mr. President.
Take the weekend to think about it.
We'll talk to you on Monday, pal.
- Baby. - That's a dude, bro.
How'd the meeting go?
Did you charm him?
Oh, he was a real charm offensive.
Key word, offensive.
What'd you do, Ricky?
Nothing.
Nah, there's a distinct sound of guilt in your voice.
It wasn't my finest moment.
He almost made whitey cry.
I don't get it.
What's the point in going to take a meeting
if you're not gonna put your best self out there?
Shit, I don't know. I was being immature,
but the guy kept throwing this bullshit Hollywood lingo at us,
taking shots at our show and shit.
Yeah, the boy don't take criticism very well.
- So, you was frustrated? - Hell, yeah.
My first instinct was to frustrate him back.
I feel bad now, especially 'cause the guy was right.
We are all over the place, and we just started.
Shit, it's probably too late now anyway.
It's never too late to tell somebody they're right.
People love that shit.
Maybe I should get him a watch.
You can't buy forgiveness, baby,
unless you're paying with Chanel.
I don't see us up there, man. You sure you paid the entry fees?
Yeah. I wrote the check myself, mate.
- And it had a lot of zeros. - Uh-huh.
Yo, so where are we?
Look, they're playing us 'cause we black. That's what it is.
You can't say that every time you have an anxiety attack, Reg.
Wait, wait. Seeded 32 of 32?
Yo, no respect, man.
'Cause we're a new squad.
But don't they know who we are?
This ain't right, man.
Yo, Reg, look who just rolled up.
Who is this crew of Jesus Christ: The Musical nerds?
Man, them the guys that played me during my tryout. They didn't want me.
Yeah, well, we want you, mate. I'm glad you're here.
Hey, what is up, fellas?
It's nice to see that they let you all out and about.
- What up, clowns? - You still bitter?
You know, you shouldn't play angry, man.
Look at this dude, trying to tell V how to play a game.
Looking forward to the second round.
Yeah, well, worry about getting past the first.
Fuck you, you gangster Mouseketeers.
Takes a lot of confidence to show up late
to your own press conference.
The guy's a drama queen. What can I say?
Hey.
All right, everybody.
Thank you for coming here this afternoon.
I'm going to make this brief.
But first, there are a few things that I wanna address
before we get down to the business at hand.
First, let me set the record straight about my stance on the 18 games.
My vote was based upon an agreement that I had with the other owners,
and that agreement was broken.
The old guard is in charge,
and they're taking us down a path that will end
with the demise of our great game.
The future of football is with the players and the fans.
I've had the unique honor to participate
in our great game in many, many ways.
First as a young boy when I was
learning how to hit and get hit...
then what it means to be part of a team...
and then, finally, making it to the league.
And all along, I've always been a fan.
Now I'm lucky enough to be an owner.
Now, from this view, I can see that in order to move forward,
we're gonna have to clean up our past.
We need to take care of our guys,
starting with lifetime medical coverage
for everyone who's played three years or more.
I'm working every day to make that dream,
that necessity, a reality.
And one day, I sincerely hope that I'll be able
to stand up here with you guys and say, "We have succeeded."
But today, we take the first step towards doing right by our players.
And I am very proud to announce
the signing of a historic deal
for one of the league's most talented athletes.
But first, I wanna say thank you to Jason Antolotti
and my old compadre Joe Krutel
for getting the deal done.
I am honored to announce that we've signed Patrick Mahomes
to the largest fully-guaranteed deal in NFL history.
Now, if you have any questions, and I'm sure you do...
ask him yourself.
If you're lucky, sometimes conflict
comes with the sweetest of rewards...
Resolution.
But the next challenge, the next fight...
It's always just around the corner.
We spend our lives trying to live without pain...
but that's what feeds us.
Sometimes, it just breeds more conflict.
But other times...
it breeds success.
Pretty momma, make me fall
She know she my lady but she boogie now
Oh, my God. Look who's here.
Daddy!
Gimme love You make me surrender, eh-hey
You make me surrender
What are you... What are you doing here?
- I'm home. - Oh, my God!
Hey!
Where you going?
You're the fuel to mi fire
Oh, Maayaa
You're the fuel to mi fire
Oh, Maayaa
You're the fuel to mi fire
Oh, Maayaa
You're the fuel to mi fire
You say I swear to leave me It a better lemme, it a little kitty
Now she wanna come And light up my head man
She killer pretty No calamity, no super litty
And mi wanna take rush pon my head
Tentalize mi
Oh, you're sweet simmer I crave
Oh, mi gotta keep the tight face
Oh, but I smoke up the light weight
Oh, and then we kiss up, yeah, we hype
Breed a killer and him a diss har Hard to keep up, she bite me
I'ma sing along But she can come recite it
Oh, I put that bom-bom inside it
Oh, you know it's too much excitement
You know it's too much conniving
Sing, when I bring out the violin
Preach, when I bring out the sirens For you my dear
Gimme love You make me surrender, eh-hey
You make me surrender