- These things will stop a bullet?
- No.
They will not shoot you in a public place.
- What a relief.
- These are for knives.
- Great.
- When we sit down with them,
you're gonna order a black coffee.
- What's this guy's rank?
Speak as little as possible. Let them do the talking.
Um, okay, did everyone practice their assignment?
all: Yes.
- Uh, Mrs. Morimoto, how about you go first?
Hello. - Hello.
Is this Mr. Adelstein? - Speaking.
- This is Mrs. Morimoto. I was won--
- Wondering.
- Wondering if you come to dinner tonight.
- We would love to. - Okay.
- Thank you very much. Okay, that's it for today.
I'll see you guys next week.
Arigato gozaimashita.
- Hai.
- Hey, Jake!
- Oh! - Hey!
- What's up? I thought you were going home.
- I am. Just got done packing.
Hey, if this don't work out,
come to Austin and say hi.
- I will. - All right.
Huh? Oh.
Hai.
- Hai.
- You wish to be a crime reporter in Japan.
Why?
- My father is a coroner,
and he took me to crime scenes,
showed me bodies, murder files.
I found trying to reason what actually happened
from forensic evidence fascinating.
- Your written Japanese is excellent.
- Thank you.
- So how do you explain this?
- I did not pay close enough attention.
- Even with what you missed, your score was high.
The Tokyo "Meicho Shimbun" has 12 million readers a day,
the greatest newspaper in Japan,
the best newspaper in the world.
No foreigner has worked here ever.
- I understand.
- I'm not your friend,
so you're about a thousand hours too early
in this relationship to call me Emi.
As your superior and your senpai,
you will pay me the courtesy of using Maruyama-san.
Are we clear?
- Yes, totally.
- You think because you're a foreigner,
the rules are different?
Not in this company and not with me.
- Huh?
- Kanpai! all: Kanpai!
- Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh.
- Hey, Jake!
- What?
- Mos-sad.
Everyone here thinks you're a spy for the Israelis.
Mos-sad.
I'm from Mos-souri.
- Okay, James Bond.
- These guys are all in.
- Super hard-core.
- She's gotta pour drinks all night?
Yeah, that's fucked up.
How much did you study for the test?
For the entrance exam, how much did you study?
- Who studied? - You had to study?
- Who's that guy?
- Miyamoto.
Prostitution, weapons.
Badass.
They say he loves chickens.
- Chicks.
- Chicks?
- Yeah.
- Not chickens?
- Trust me.
- The dead body by the bridge.
The home address is in the number one report.
Write it up, 500 characters, end of day.
- Hai. Hai.
- Hai.
- I'm sorry, I--I don't mean to get you in trouble.
- I can take care of myself, thank you.
- I just think-- - You don't get to think.
You will follow the rules
and write what you are told to write,
like everyone else, or you will be gone.
- No, I'm not gonna regurgitate
the police report word for word.
- Regurgitate? - Yeah, that's not reporting.
- So what did you do?
- Oh, I went to the stabbed guy's house,
and, uh, I went through his mail.
- What are you gonna do, call the mail police?
- Maybe. - Did you find anything?
- There were bunch of overdue bills from a loan company.
So the guy was clearly in debt to this company.
I copied down the logo, the address.
You recognize this logo?
both: Nope.
- I went to the address, and there was nothing there.
Like, the loan company was gone.
- So no story? - After all.
- Not a complete story but a beginning of a story,
so I wrote it up, handed it in...
Got wrung out for not copying down
word for word a fucking--
Miyamoto-san. Jake.
I'm a crime reporter for the "Meicho," and, uh--
No, no, I-- can I buy you a drink?
- Why?
- I'm trying to figure out
how reporters work with police,
and maybe you could show me the ropes.
- Ropes?
- Yeah.
It's a-- - Show you the ropes?
- Yeah.
- Miyamoto-san-- - Uh, I like gaijin
but only with tits.
Oi, oi!
Tell me, do you know how to pick up gaijin girls?
- Absolutely.
- I have to say,
I find your dress, uh, extra flattering?
- No, no, no. Extraordinarily flattering.
- Extraordinarily.
- And it's got to be sophisticated, smooth.
Just roll it out.
- I have to say,
I find your dress
extraordinarily flattering.
- And this shit works? - Yes.
Western girls, they like a guy who's flirtatious, debonair.
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
- Okay.
- That was really great.
You were really good up there.
- Thanks, I try.
- Do you wanna have a drink?
- Sure.
- Yeah.
- Your Japanese is very good.
- Thank you.
- Why are you hanging out with cops?
- Because I'm a reporter for the "Meicho."
- No. Really? - Mm-hmm.
- An American.
Well, what do you report on?
- Uh, I'm on the police beat.
- Hmm.
So stories about guys like that?
- You never know.
- Really, what do you report on?
- You know, you never know who you're gonna talk to,
where you're gonna go, what you're gonna see.
Every day is different.
- Is this what you wear to work every day?
- No, I-- the paper's got
these strict regulations on what you have to wear,
so I wear a suit and tie and, uh, so...
I'm trying really hard to get it right,
you know, to fit into their system, which...
Is mentally tyrannical,
which is not what I expected from a newspaper, you know?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know how rigid corporate life can be.
So why are you doing this?
- Well, I wanna report on what really happens.
That's it.
That's...
I mean, you know,
maybe someday make a small piece of history.
- So is it gonna work?
- So far, it seems like
everything I've touched, I've...
Screwed up.
But giving up and going home is not an option.
You know what I mean?
- I know exactly what you mean.
- Where are you from?
- Saitama, originally,
but I've been in Tokyo for the past few years.
- Well, but before that, where are you from?
- Well, that's a second bottle question, honey.
See, how this works is,
the more you buy, the more we talk.
And the better you buy, the better I talk.
But if there's no more buying...
- I don't have enough for a whole nother bottle.
- Well, that's a shame.
See you another time.
Another drink.
- So, Miyamoto-san...
Tell me, how do reporters and police work, huh?
Here's what you need to understand.
There's no murder in Japan.
Wait, what?
How is that--
- How is that a--
- Huh?
- Hmm?
- Hi. This is my friend Tatiana.
- Hi. How are you?
- I have to say,
I find your dress extraordinarily flattering.
- Thank you.
- What do you mean there's no murder in Japan?
That doesn't make any sense.
- I forgot, your English is not so good.
There is no murder in Japan.
- So then what was that stabbing,
that guy in the street?
- Could be manslaughter.
Could be accidental death.
But the key is, unless you have to deal with a witness,
it's never a murder.
- Since when do you need a witness
to tell you a murder is a murder?
- 'Cause you report it and we can't solve it,
our clearance rate goes down.
- How does that get me a story to write?
- Two dead men, two logos. The same logo.
- You already have a story to write.
- But there's linkage. This story is bigger.
The guy who set himself on fire in Kabukicho.
- We covered that. It's already in print.
- There's more to that story.
- You do the story you're assigned.
- Okay. - No. Is that clear?
And only that story. Understood?
- Totally. Yes, understood.
- Oi!