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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Why are we waiting in line for food?
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It's a pop-up. It's a rare,
pop-up restaurant thing
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that only enters our
solar system... Rick.
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You're gonna spoil your appetite.
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That's a weird way to say
I'm gonna stop being hungry
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by eating food, but whatever.
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Three crispy, uh, four wiggling.
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You're probably not even hungry.
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You just don't like lines
because they aren't about you.
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Another weirdly aggressive way
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to describe a friend
respecting themselves.
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- Eugh!
- What a wonderful thing to say!
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Ha ha! I was merely inspired by
the wonderful thing you said!
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Sirs? Guys? You dropped this.
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Please, take it as a reward.
So courteous!
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How nice it will be for you to eat
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what you were willing to stand
in line for so much sooner.
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Oh, no, that's okay.
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I came to stand in line and then eat.
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I-I wouldn't wanna do it differently.
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Hmm...
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Dear fellow, I choose this moment
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to surrender my sword so
that you may succeed me
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as the newest Knight of the Sun.
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What? No. I-I-I didn't
even want your sandwich.
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I don't want your sword.
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Oh, believe me, son. You want it.
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I don't understand.
You're knights? With a "K"?
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Of the Sun with a "U" or... or an "O"?
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Your alphabet is of no concern here.
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We are sworn defenders of Helios,
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the center of this system.
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Okay, so it's "Sun" with a "U."
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Oh, God. Morty, don't take the sword.
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Oh, I'm shocked you're
against something, Rick.
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- You know these guys?
- I know how they're dressed
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and how boring this sounds.
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You take that sword,
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you're gonna get sucked
into a whole complicated...
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Oh, shit!
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- Come on, take it.
- Uh...
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I mean, if that kid's not
gonna take the sword...
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He didn't offer it to you.
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Sorry. Can I just ask some stuff?
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W-What does a Knight of the Sun do?
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He takes the sword, for one thing.
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You know what? Maybe
you made a bad call.
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- He... He doesn't want the sword.
- I didn't say that.
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Well, you sure aren't taking it.
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Would you just take a random...
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Obviously I would, yes! And I did!
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Best decision of my life!
And you're shitting on it!
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Excuse me? Is this just a free sword?
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- No!
- I'm taking the sword.
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Thank you, Dawnling. What is your name?
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- Morty.
- Now it is Sir Mortaniel.
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I made it a little knightier.
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Good day.
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Wait, did he just...
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God damn it, Morty! You took the sword?
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- So boring!
- Oh, like you're not at this point?
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You drunk cranky fuck!
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Ouch.
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You guys still gonna stand in line?
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Y-You're not gonna take this food?
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The pop-up pays us to stand here.
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- To drive up business.
- Knew it.
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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Everyone! Sir Helios'
successor, Sir Mortaniel!
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♪ Sir Mortaniel, face so bright ♪
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♪ Serves the Sun with
strength and might ♪
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♪ Sir Mortaniel, come and see ♪
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♪ Just what the Sun provides for thee ♪
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Wow, my... my own song!
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Now you know why Sir Helios
had to change your name
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to something with three syllables.
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Welcome, Dawnling, to the Sun!
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So it is the Sun, like Earth's sun?
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Ah-ha, he's heard of us!
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How come I'm not, like,
burning to a crisp?
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You are currently
protected by our powers,
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but soon they will be yours.
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Our flesh is indestructible!
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Our lives are never-ending,
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but not even in the dumb vampire way
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where after a while you
hate it and you can't die.
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We can die whenever we want.
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We just don't have to.
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But you're not allowed to leave, right?
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L-Like, I'll... I'll... I'll never
see my family again?
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We leave constantly!
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I met you on an asteroid.
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Oh, yeah. Between us,
that wasn't a deal breaker,
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but it's even better
that there's options.
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You'll have more freedom
than you've ever known.
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Our king.
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The Sun is the center
of the solar system.
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It is the home of the solar Scepter,
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around which all worlds revolve.
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The men who keep it safe are
admired by all and live as gods.
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- Any more questions?
- Uh, yeah, where do I sign?
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Huzzah.
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Well, that does it.
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Off to the parapet to
make this official.
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Yeah, let's do this.
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Now just cut off your penises
and throw them into the Sun.
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Oooooooookey-dokey.
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I see Mortaniel wants to go first.
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Uh, not true.
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Do I just leave the sword wherever?
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- I-Is there a sword bin?
- What are you saying?
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- You don't want to cut off...
- Listen, guys, c-can we not...
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It's a terrific and painful
sacrifice we all make
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for the most important and
powerful job in the universe.
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We've done it since the dawn of dawns.
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Yep. There it is in stained glass.
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It's official. A-And I'm not judging it.
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And I'm not doing it.
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People really live here? This is nuts.
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- I thought it was a metaphor.
- We have to go.
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Ah. Boy. They're not
messing around, huh?
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How are you not burning?
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Oh, it's just science, which,
unless I'm misinterpreting,
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is clearly not a priority here.
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Okay, c'mon, lil' June bug.
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I-I won't rub your face in this one.
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I-I'm guessing you're
feeling pretty stupid.
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Yes. Thank you.
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Sir Helios gave his
life with that sword.
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Mortaniel took it.
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He cannot leave unless
he bests me in combat.
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Hmm. Okay, uh, one sec.
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I'm guessing these guys are,
like, pseudo-immortalish
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since they live on the Sun,
so playing by their rules
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might be the fastest way out of this.
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J-Just best him in combat.
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- What?
- Here.
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This sword uses A.I. to learn
from an opponent's attacks.
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So I have to get attacked first?
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No, no, no, the sword
has already seen "Blade."
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And loved it. You'll be fine.
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- By golly!
- Ooh! Crikey!
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Okay, so we're done here.
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No. We're not done.
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I am done.
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You are now king of the Sun.
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Protect the Scepter always.
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No, no, no, no, I don't want to!
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Well, how is that supposed to work?
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He's king, but he was
never even a knight.
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- I mean, that's stupid.
- Uh, it's... it's definitely a... Sun first.
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- A king with a penis?
- Well, what do you want from me?!
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All hail King Mortaniel!
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Uhhhhh, as your king,
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I hereby declare a vacation, for me.
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I'll come visit you guys,
on, like, Sun Day...
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Sundays.
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If I forget, just wait a week.
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Keep doing that, keep the crown. Peace.
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Hell yeah. See? That's from
when he's fighting Deacon Frost.
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I don't know. Um,
I-I thought it was cool.
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Okay. So...
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So? Oh. So, you dragged
me to a fake restaurant,
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yelled at me for not
doing what you wanted,
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then did something I told you not to,
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and it almost cost you your
pud, but I saved your life,
167
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and now you're waiting for me to
make you feel like shit about it.
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That's... Yeah, you nailed it.
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00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,750
Morty, I'm sorry I let your
opinion of me get this low.
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00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,740
- All right, I get it.
- There's nothing to get.
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I'm for real. Look, I'm a
drunk, I'm a psychopath,
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I'm a murderer, but...
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- when you called me boring...
- I shouldn't have.
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... I needed to hear it.
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And you took the stupid sword,
and I was like, "Holy crap,
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00:06:58,190 --> 00:06:59,400
this is who I am to this kid?
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00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:01,319
He just does the opposite
of my advice now.
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I mean, I-I gotta fix that."
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So I'm gonna be, like, 22%
more agreeable with you
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for, like, maybe one episode,
or one adventure.
181
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- We'll see how it goes.
- Is 22% a lot?
182
00:07:10,740 --> 00:07:11,779
Well, I-I'm not gonna tell you
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00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,939
what percentage of our time
together I'm usually mean to you
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00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:15,339
because it'll hurt your stupid feelings,
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00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:16,880
but 22% is substantial.
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You're gonna feel the difference.
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Okay. I mean, I-I appreciate it.
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You should, because you made
a real mess with these guys.
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- Oh, man!
- Sire.
190
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- You can't leave.
- Go away!
191
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:30,220
My king, it is our duty to follow you
192
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,360
till the sun sets on our watch.
193
00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:35,940
I mean, it set yesterday,
so you're done. Bye.
194
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,001
Sire, the sun never sets on the Sun.
195
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Can you get rid of them?
196
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,440
You want me to...
197
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:44,200
Well... You guys know
he can kill you, right?
198
00:07:44,220 --> 00:07:46,550
I think he'd find that
quite difficult, sire,
199
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,900
but if it pleases you.
200
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,820
Can't I just tell you it pleases
me for you to go away?
201
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:51,980
No. Not really.
202
00:07:51,990 --> 00:07:54,180
So you'd rather die than leave me alone?
203
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,390
Yes.
204
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,640
♪ A pheasant plucked for my good king ♪
205
00:07:57,660 --> 00:08:00,320
♪ A merry jig, sweet songbirds sing ♪
206
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,440
These guys live on our sun?
I've never heard of them.
207
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:07,020
I don't see them doing a lot
to earn interplanetary fame.
208
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,500
I beg your pardon, wizard.
209
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,160
The Knights of the Sun
protect the solar Scepter...
210
00:08:11,180 --> 00:08:13,520
around which even this world turns.
211
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:16,070
You do mean that, like,
symbolically, right?
212
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,600
Oh, quite literally.
213
00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,800
The Scepter is the center
of the solar system.
214
00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:22,340
All planets orbit it.
We keep it on the Sun
215
00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:25,172
so that Jupiter and Saturn
don't bump into each other.
216
00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:28,920
- Omigod.
- They don't even know sixth grade science.
217
00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,170
That's it!
218
00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:31,820
- _
- Yeah, so there you have it.
219
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:32,850
Traditions suck ass,
220
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:35,098
and your most foundational
beliefs are total bullshit.
221
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,320
We're supposed to take your word for it?
222
00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:40,200
Anyone can draw circles on
a board and spout numbers.
223
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:43,120
Yes, this sounds like
a fun theory, sire,
224
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:45,199
but it would take more than
this for us to give up...
225
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,370
Okay, so how do you guys
think it works again?
226
00:08:47,380 --> 00:08:49,780
- Well, the Scepter...
- Oh, you mean this old thing?
227
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:51,140
- Gaaah!
- You want it?
228
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,270
Here. Take it back home.
229
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,160
It's a symbol. It's your culture.
230
00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:56,078
That's not the same as reality.
231
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,950
Does this mean we cut off our penises
232
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,830
for absolutely no reason?
233
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,850
That's the bad news.
234
00:09:00,860 --> 00:09:02,700
The good news is, you're free.
235
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,300
- Ooh, that stings.
- Fuck this knights shit.
236
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:07,740
A query?
237
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:11,020
I just used your "computer
phone" to search "despair."
238
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,250
- Where can I get this heroin?
- I'm not telling you that.
239
00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:16,580
No matter. I'm seeing from
most of your song lyrics
240
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,010
that I can get it anywhere.
241
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:24,020
Um, you guys, someone just used
critical thinking and basic physics
242
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,260
to destroy their first entire religion.
243
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,850
- Nice.
- Good job, Morty.
244
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:29,900
- So no more sun-tourage?
- Yep. All done.
245
00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:32,640
Plus, Rick and I both learned
to support each other better.
246
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,658
So that's it. We're done.
247
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:37,480
Feels early, but w-we're done.
248
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,580
What's happening?
249
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,705
Appliances are breaking
that I haven't touched.
250
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,870
Maybe the sun is... celebrating?
251
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:50,040
Ha ha ha ha! The Sons of the
Moon are storming the walkway.
252
00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:51,100
Doesn't matter.
253
00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:52,459
Their aggression will be kept in check
254
00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:55,100
by a host of interplanetary
treaties and alliances.
255
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,120
It's very complicated,
256
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:58,179
but as long as The Knights
of the Sun stand together,
257
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:01,440
the solar system will always have
complete political stability.
258
00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:03,320
Where are the Knights
of the Sun, by the way?
259
00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:04,780
I'm done pooping.
260
00:10:04,790 --> 00:10:05,800
Hmm?
261
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:10,050
Did the, uh, Knights
of the Sun... disband?
262
00:10:10,060 --> 00:10:11,950
While I was pooping?
263
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,940
Sunnnn-kward.
264
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:18,440
_
265
00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:21,320
How many planets in our solar
system have these clowns?
266
00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:23,550
I guess if the sun can support
life, any planet can.
267
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,000
I mean, maybe we all descended
from a common ancestor.
268
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:28,040
Haven't you seen, like,
all of the universes?
269
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:29,960
Exactly. So why would
I hang out on Pluto?
270
00:10:29,970 --> 00:10:31,549
That's some Jerry-league shit.
271
00:10:31,550 --> 00:10:34,260
If the Sons of the Moon
can attack the sun,
272
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,400
why should the Viscounts
of Venus continue sitting
273
00:10:36,410 --> 00:10:38,930
- in Saturn's shadow?
- How's this for a reason?
274
00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:42,017
We got all the rings and all the balls.
275
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:43,140
- Oh, fuck you.
- Really?
276
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,740
If the Saturno Venusian
détente is no longer honored,
277
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:49,620
I declare you all moons of Jupiter.
278
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,360
Because that's what you are
to us! A bunch of moons!
279
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:56,060
Do the Knights of the Sun plan to
protect Mercury from this chaos?
280
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,600
Because if we're on our own,
281
00:10:57,610 --> 00:11:00,577
there's a new, very tiny sun in town.
282
00:11:04,090 --> 00:11:06,020
It's all you, pal.
283
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,380
Um, hello?
284
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,921
Don't I have, like, authority over
this Sons of the Moon meeting?
285
00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:13,006
That all depends. Who the hell are you?
286
00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:14,520
This guy's the king of the Sun.
287
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:16,343
- Holy shit.
- When did this happen?
288
00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:18,845
Ha! Then tell your knights
to do their jobs.
289
00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:20,440
Yes, Your Majesty.
290
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:22,480
We all know the Sun's power lives
291
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,120
and dies with your knights.
292
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:27,560
- Who are you?
- Who am... Who...
293
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,520
I am the Marquis of Mars!
294
00:11:29,530 --> 00:11:31,800
And I declare war on all of you!
295
00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:33,360
War on all of you!
296
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:36,700
Where are the Knights of the
Sun when we need them most?
297
00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,000
Funny you should ask, uh...
298
00:11:38,020 --> 00:11:40,280
They're gone!
299
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,400
They've abandoned their duties.
300
00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:44,070
I see it in the bones.
301
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,480
Damn, the bones nailed it.
302
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:48,080
Okay, so you have space
ships and magic ladies?
303
00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:49,720
Look, I'm not gonna read all the books.
304
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:52,960
What will it take to let this Sons
of the Moon fiasco resolve itself?
305
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:56,040
Excuse me. How did you
become king of the Sun?
306
00:11:56,060 --> 00:11:57,590
You look like an Earthling.
307
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,302
- Santa?
- Santa?
308
00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:00,450
What the hell is that?
309
00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:02,472
I'm the Earl of Earth, god damn it.
310
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,520
I agree with Earth on one thing...
311
00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:07,430
Venus questions the legitimacy
of this king's authority.
312
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,920
My people say I say aye.
313
00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:11,100
I'm the king.
314
00:12:11,110 --> 00:12:13,569
- I've got the Scepter right here.
- What the fuck?
315
00:12:13,570 --> 00:12:15,560
Yeah, yeah, I know you're freaking out
316
00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:16,730
because it's not on the sun.
317
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:20,560
No, because whoever has
it rules the solar system!
318
00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:22,158
It's up for grabs! Get it!
319
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,560
After it!
320
00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:24,680
Ahhhh!
321
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,600
Yes, yes. I have the Scepter.
322
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,210
Soon Jupiter will be the center
323
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:30,660
of our solar system's newest dark ages.
324
00:12:30,682 --> 00:12:34,560
Fuck that. Mercury will now
be the shining beacon of...
325
00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:37,040
Time to throw it all against the wall.
326
00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:38,899
I think you crushed it.
327
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,500
I mean, not just anybody
can start Solar War One.
328
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,580
- Stop supporting me.
- Can do.
329
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,359
_
330
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,860
_
331
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,830
_
332
00:13:18,792 --> 00:13:21,634
_
333
00:13:25,810 --> 00:13:27,891
_
334
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:19,019
Damn, who would have thought
giving the Amish nukes
335
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:20,550
would threaten the solar system?
336
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,237
Maybe we should just jump universes.
337
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:23,250
I don't know, buddy.
338
00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:26,280
Feels like we're kind of more about
trying out commitment now, ya know?
339
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,359
Let's put our heads together.
340
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,719
Maybe there's something
we haven't tried yet.
341
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,787
- Oh, here's an idea. Fuck you!
- Hey!
342
00:14:30,790 --> 00:14:31,860
Rick, I can't take it.
343
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,460
I admit I'm wrong, I screwed up.
344
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,400
You're killing me here
yes-and'ing me to death.
345
00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:37,600
What is this, "Vat of Acid" again?
346
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:39,740
Look, man, I'm sorry I've
been such a dick in the past
347
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,297
that you think I'm doing a thing here.
348
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:43,900
I'm honestly just trying
to do better by you.
349
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,200
Are you a robot?
350
00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,230
- Morty!
- A clone?
351
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,719
Morty, this family's got enough
clones and robots in it.
352
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,509
Come on, Morty, stop
asking what you're asking
353
00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:52,100
and let's just get back to our crisis.
354
00:14:52,110 --> 00:14:55,019
I'm sorry. It's just been a
hard road with you, Rick.
355
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,710
Morty, I get that, but you can trust me
356
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,600
when I say I'm just trying
to do right by you.
357
00:14:58,610 --> 00:15:01,600
Okay, Rick. You're right. Maybe...
358
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,987
maybe I just need to
round up some Knights.
359
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,600
If I disillusioned the old ones,
360
00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:07,480
I'll just have to re-illusion them.
361
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,200
It shouldn't be that hard, right?
362
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,820
Cousins, we need to return
to the walkway at once.
363
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:23,339
Why are you laughing?
Did I say something funny?
364
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,840
Oh, Mortaniel.
365
00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:27,080
The only person we bend
the knee to these days
366
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,470
is that sweet Black Betty.
367
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,230
Yeah, man, all hail Mr. Brownstone.
368
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:33,892
And his doctor. Feelgood, that is.
369
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,260
They're talking about heroin,
Morty. They like it.
370
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,979
- Obviously.
- Obviously?!
371
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,250
Apparently living on the Sun
372
00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:41,960
has turned our veins into
triple-bonded carbon,
373
00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:44,300
so try this tale on
for size, Mortaniel...
374
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,695
we can't OD!
375
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:47,370
C'mon, you guys are a mess.
376
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,270
Well, they actually seem
kinda awesome, Morty.
377
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,400
Lemme be your king.
378
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:52,410
I admit, I wanted what you once had...
379
00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:54,960
brotherhood, tradition,
stability, purpose.
380
00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:57,500
I just... didn't want to
cut my dick off for it.
381
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:58,789
Yeah, that's the point.
382
00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:00,840
We were quick to follow this boy before,
383
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,520
without even forcing him to
commit to our traditions.
384
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:06,800
And all he did was break
our faith and our walkway.
385
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:10,140
And now this random
fucking guy is here again
386
00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:11,540
to tell us what to do?
387
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,056
No fucking way!
388
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,470
What if I cut off my dick?
389
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,080
But you'd be cutting
it off for no reason.
390
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,800
Yeah, that's the point of tradition...
391
00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:22,400
doing things for no reason,
392
00:16:22,410 --> 00:16:25,740
but it'd be reason enough
doing it for you guys.
393
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:29,240
Well, you do that, that
would compete with heroin.
394
00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:31,991
Cool, cool. Can I maybe get a minute?
395
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:34,360
Buddy, what's up?
396
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,900
Reaching some sad conclusions
about your situation?
397
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,900
Yes, but that walkway
needs those knights,
398
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,709
those knights need a king,
and that king needs no dick.
399
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,130
Damn, Morty, you really are stepping up.
400
00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:45,810
Now do you want me to help you
401
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,139
not have to cut your dick off, though?
402
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,175
- Yes, please.
- Then I got you.
403
00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:50,593
Uh, you really mean it, Rick?
404
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,550
Of course, buddy.
I'll give you a fake dick
405
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,920
with three layers of fail-safes.
406
00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:56,101
They'll never know the difference.
407
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:59,602
Shh, Morty. We're gonna make
your dick so fake, buddy.
408
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,680
The signal! Sir, the Knights
of the Sun are once more.
409
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:13,050
Hold fire. If this return
to the Old Ways is true,
410
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:16,340
I'd be willing to return home
and put an end to the bloodshed.
411
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:33,060
Sir? Shall we hold off on the
antimatter hydrogen bombing?
412
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,090
Those crusty knights won't
do the Sun much good
413
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,280
without their... Hoo!
414
00:17:38,270 --> 00:17:39,892
Let's hear them out.
415
00:17:41,730 --> 00:17:44,240
I, Lithdor, son of Thrifdor,
416
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:47,150
personally oversee the
stumping of thy king's stem.
417
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,370
If his stem burns true,
418
00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:52,240
peace will be restored
between the spheres.
419
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,407
Yay!
420
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:58,911
Present the Shears of Stumping!
421
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,780
- Morty the Brave!
- You got this, my king!
422
00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:06,160
First things first.
423
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,240
Step through this machine
424
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:10,000
which checks for nanotechnological
hologram dicks.
425
00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:11,605
- What?!
- War opened our eyes
426
00:18:11,606 --> 00:18:13,760
to the wonders of new technologies.
427
00:18:13,770 --> 00:18:15,970
Please, step through, my liege.
428
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,850
Whew!
429
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:24,860
Sorry, my lord,
430
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:27,239
but we're gonna need you to step
through this second machine,
431
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,630
which checks for emergency clone dicks.
432
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:33,660
Oh, wow, you guys really embraced
a lot of specific new tech, huh?
433
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,190
- Whoa, a sunspot!
- What? Where?
434
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:41,700
Boy, is... is that a third
detector I see, as well?
435
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,560
You'll find out after the second one.
436
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:44,689
We don't like to reveal them
437
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,520
until the previous detecting
threshold has been crossed.
438
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,720
Right.
439
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,600
The third detector is going
to scan for a prosthetic dick.
440
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:56,240
- Oh. Ha ha. Good.
- Okay, well, go on through,
441
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:59,910
and, of course, by "prosthetic"
we mean witchcraft dick.
442
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:00,973
- Shit.
- Fuck!
443
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:02,000
I sense one.
444
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,780
The bones say he's still packin'.
445
00:19:06,690 --> 00:19:09,380
Ha ha, can't get nothin'
past the chicken bone lady.
446
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,050
J-Just testing her.
447
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:14,028
Stump. Thy. Stem.
448
00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:17,540
Morty? Morty, don't answer out loud.
449
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,220
Can you hear me? It's Rick.
I'm talking to you with my mind.
450
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,079
- Yeah, I can hear you.
- You said that out loud.
451
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,830
- Don't speak.
- Sorry. Sorry.
452
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,780
I uplinked a telepathic nano satellite
453
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,209
so we could hear each other's thoughts.
454
00:19:27,210 --> 00:19:29,010
Carefully do everything I tell you
455
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:31,060
in the exact order I tell you to do it.
456
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,970
- Okay.
- Grab the scissors.
457
00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:35,258
Okay. Got the scissors.
458
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:36,592
Now... run!
459
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,262
- Oh, shit, shit!
- Guards, seize them!
460
00:19:39,270 --> 00:19:40,999
Run? You couldn't have just said that?!
461
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,309
You don't have to use telepathy anymore.
462
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:44,540
You can just ask your
rhetorical questions out loud.
463
00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:45,720
I don't understand, Rick.
464
00:19:45,730 --> 00:19:47,900
Here's something that's easy
to understand, buddy...
465
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,360
I'm proud of you for trying
to solve your own shit.
466
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:52,024
Ugh, I didn't want to have to do this.
467
00:19:52,030 --> 00:19:55,160
It's okay this time.
We don't have any choice.
468
00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:57,447
- I love you, Rick.
- Love you, too, buddy.
469
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,160
Whoooooaaa!
470
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,110
And that's when King Morty and Rick
471
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,870
were left with no choice
but to leap into the Sun.
472
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,000
Such shame he felt for what
he'd done to our society,
473
00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:12,960
sacrificing his dick wasn't enough...
474
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:16,620
He gave his entire body and
wizard servant, as well.
475
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:20,400
And after a while, their sun-proof
bones floated up to the top.
476
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,690
We even checked with a royal
ladle to ensure it was real sun,
477
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:26,476
not just them hiding beneath
in a vat of fake sun.
478
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,460
Such a violent death.
479
00:20:28,470 --> 00:20:31,080
And finally when our grief
could bear no more,
480
00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:34,700
we decided to abolish our
medieval act of stem stumping.
481
00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:38,180
And we have King Morty the
Molten to thank for that.
482
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,610
Morty the Molten!
483
00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:41,410
King Morty the Molten!
484
00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:43,120
See, Morty? Worked like a charm.
485
00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:45,380
Aren't we risking it
all coming back here?
486
00:20:45,390 --> 00:20:47,040
Morty, we had to know. Plus the heat...
487
00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:49,620
- It's good for my joints.
- King Mortaniel?!
488
00:20:49,630 --> 00:20:50,750
You're alive?!
489
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:51,920
Yeah, go tell everybody.
490
00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:53,960
Your reward's gonna be
cutting off your own dick.
491
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:56,720
Right. Point taken.
492
00:20:56,740 --> 00:20:58,760
R.I.P. and cheerio.
493
00:21:00,470 --> 00:21:01,636
Whew!
494
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:07,141
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
495
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,530
One crispy, one wriggling.
496
00:21:35,540 --> 00:21:37,713
Coming right up. Three loozums.
497
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,466
- How 'bout ten years? In jail.
- Huh?
498
00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:42,300
Special Agent Mongo Bongo.
499
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,070
You're under arrest for
illegal hot dog trafficking.
500
00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:47,598
Oh!
501
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:48,683
_
502
00:21:59,430 --> 00:22:03,489
Be free, my little babies. Ahh!
503
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:04,680
Huh.
504
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:06,590
Surprised they actually made it.
505
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,328
Kinda thought maybe some
birds would swoop down...
506
00:22:09,330 --> 00:22:10,720
Aaahhhhh! Aah!
507
00:22:10,740 --> 00:22:12,915
I jinxed it. Aah!
508
00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:15,918
Did you get any of that?