1
00:00:00,133 --> 00:00:03,401
.
2
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,869
Ugh!
3
00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:06,805
[ Screaming ]
4
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,273
Oh, thank you, Morty.
5
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,342
You know, this cookie really
crumbled after Rick left.
6
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,811
Uh, sorry about that.
I-I-I think he was just hungry.
7
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:13,946
Look, I gotta run.
8
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:15,147
I-I'm sure you guys'll
figure it out.
9
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,815
I-I believe in you!
10
00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:21,886
Morty! Can you help us
with this UFO-shaped hole?
11
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,555
Sure, geez, but y'know
only because
12
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,756
I was in
the neighborhood.
13
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:29,361
[ Screaming ]
14
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,963
Morty, thank God!
15
00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:33,432
The beast emerged right
after your grandpa left
16
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:37,369
and its gem went missing --
Geez, that is
a crazy coincidence
17
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,305
that I-I if I were you,
probably just best left alone.
18
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,374
He's right.
We-We should celebrate.
19
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,642
Feast?
No time.
20
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:44,977
S-S-Sounds
pretty classic though,
21
00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,812
don't let me hold you up!
22
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,685
[ Gasps ] Son of a bitch.
He marked it.
23
00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:11,736
Ah!
24
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,339
Phew.
25
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:19,478
Hah.
26
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,813
What the --
27
00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:24,616
[ Grunting ]
28
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:25,818
Hey, what the hell?
29
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:27,219
Agh! Jesus!
30
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,620
You got some of that green stuff
on you too, huh?
31
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,288
Th-Th-This is bad.
Th-This is really bad.
32
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,157
Hey, how do you think
I feel?
33
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:35,293
I had the ultimate stash hole
and now I got a kid in my thigh.
34
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:43,368
♪♪
35
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:51,243
♪♪
36
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:59,317
♪♪
37
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:07,192
♪♪
38
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:09,261
Look, you seem like a perfectly
nice guy in my hand hole,
39
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:12,865
but if I can't sort this out
I'm dead --
40
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:14,533
What the hell, dude?
Gross.
41
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,669
I-I-I was just trying to...
You're just trying to what?
42
00:02:16,671 --> 00:02:18,136
Where'd this stuff
come from?
43
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,138
Garbage Goober, get out here
and eat this garbage.
44
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,542
Mmm, trash, I love trash,
yum yum trash,
45
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,010
I wanna eat trash --
Hell yeah,
I love that lil guy.
46
00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:27,279
Wait a minute.
47
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:30,014
Is that Mountain Dew in my
quantum transport solution?
48
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,149
I-I saw you were marking
the levels
49
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,351
so I-I had to top it off.
"Top it off?"
50
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,487
Do you know how dangerously
toxic this stuff is?
51
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,289
And you added it
to my portal fluid?!
52
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,023
Only because
you don't trust me!
53
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,425
Oh, that's great logic,
Morty --
54
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,494
forgive me for not doing
the kissy chef gesture
55
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,162
since you probably spilled
this [bleep] everywhere
56
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,697
and I don't want
to teleport my lips.
57
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,232
I did I did not spill it!
58
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,901
I won't take your word for that
and I shouldn't have to,
59
00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:50,635
which is why
I have sidekick rules.
60
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,170
If you can't follow them --
61
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,172
I can be replaced, yeah, yeah,
so you keep telling me.
62
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,775
Excuse me? Did you just try to
call my bluff?
63
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,176
Have you ever seen me bluff?
64
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,378
Fine.
You know what, replace me!
65
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,113
Replace me, Rick!
Just do it.
66
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:02,514
Good luck finding someone
that can be told
67
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,249
80 thousand times
how replaceable they are!
68
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,919
Okay. I'll see your bluff call
and raise you reality.
69
00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:09,053
I can't pretend I haven't been
looking forward to this.
70
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:11,390
Behold my Wheel of Better
Things Than Morty.
71
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,926
Wh-What are you eight?
I-Is this macaroni art?
72
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,127
You expect me to believe
you built this
73
00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:16,595
because you don't care?
74
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,663
No, I built this because
I don't expect shit from you.
75
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:19,732
Come on, anything!
76
00:03:19,734 --> 00:03:21,133
Anything but Morty,
let's go!
77
00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:22,534
Come on baby,
no whammies!
78
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,002
Duh-duh-duh-duh stop!
79
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,403
Okay, that's it.
Two crows.
80
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,071
You're fired!
You know what? Eat [bleep]
81
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:28,273
You're just trying
to make me feel worthless.
82
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,674
I never said
you're worthless.
83
00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,610
In fact, I've given you a very
clear metric of your worth:
84
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:32,877
Two crows.
85
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,613
Note I didn't say three!
86
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,416
Man, that is not
a healthy relationship.
87
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,484
I hope you don't mind me
eavesdropping.
88
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:40,753
Maybe we can figure out
some sort of
89
00:03:40,755 --> 00:03:42,487
sound-proof bandage solution.
90
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,823
Hey did Garbage Goober
eat my porno magazines?
91
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,558
So, were you like,
a friend of Rick's?
92
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,493
Were you?
Good question.
93
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,495
W-What's he doing, i-is
he out there making sure
94
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,564
you see him collecting
two crows?
95
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,967
And now you're thinking, gee,
maybe if he cares enough
96
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:56,435
to hurt me this bad...
97
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,236
dot dot dot.
98
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,504
Break the cycle, Morty.
99
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,840
Change the things
that you can change.
100
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:06,711
That's what I did.
And now I'm free.
101
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,847
Only cramming six years
into six minutes, fellas.
102
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:13,452
Take your time!
103
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,987
Now that's what
I'm talking about!
104
00:04:14,989 --> 00:04:16,921
If ya nail this next one,
I've got bird quaaludes.
105
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,523
And I might even share.
106
00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:20,258
Y-You know you can stop
doing that for my benefit.
107
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,527
Y'know or-or keep doing it.
Doesn't matter. I'm out.
108
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,863
I'm walking away.
Wait. Morty. Don't go.
109
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,799
Not until you see this!
110
00:04:26,801 --> 00:04:29,034
Commence bird on a wire!
111
00:04:32,807 --> 00:04:35,607
Yeeeeaaaahhhhh!
112
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,010
[ Groans loudly ]
Jerk.
113
00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:39,478
Hey, let's hang out.
114
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,680
We're like brothers now,
we both got away y'know,
115
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:42,815
w-where are you at?
116
00:04:42,817 --> 00:04:44,149
Ooh, you know what,
shoot, can't.
117
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,551
I'm an alien, um, so --
That's okay,
118
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:47,952
Rick turned my bike
into a spaceship
119
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,754
for "solo adventures"
like picking up
120
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,155
his Venusian foot ointment.
121
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:53,157
God I'm seeing it
so clearly now.
122
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:57,762
[ Switch clicks, whirring,
warbling ]
123
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,564
Oh. Wait.
I-It says here you're on Earth.
124
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,633
Yeah. Ah.
Don't come here.
Why not?
125
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,635
Look, I-I get it, my room
is sometimes messy too,
126
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,304
I'll-I'll pick you up
right outside your...
127
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,973
...mental asylum.
Busted.
128
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,575
You literally
said "I'm free."
129
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:13,311
I'm literally not free.
130
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,914
Stop!
That's my blanket!
131
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,382
How do you know Rick?
132
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,783
Look I came to your place
with him one night
133
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,052
after the bar closed.
134
00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:21,720
I started messing around
in your garage
135
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,456
and I spilled that portal stuff
on me and he...
136
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,525
kind of launched me
to Australia...
137
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,993
like with this weirdly
primitive catapult, but --
138
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,196
but the ammunition is
an airtight carbon chamber,
139
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,331
yeah, that-that -- that's how
we lost our cable guy.
140
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,333
Anyways, that kind of
experience shakes you up.
141
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:39,672
So, sorry I misled you,
have a nice life.
142
00:05:39,674 --> 00:05:41,540
Nick.
You got a visitor.
143
00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:50,215
Damn,
what happened to you?
144
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,417
The guards like to beat us
on Sundays.
145
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,687
Still better
than Mondays.
Geez, what happens then?
146
00:05:54,689 --> 00:05:56,889
They lick our faces
when we're tied down.
147
00:05:56,891 --> 00:05:58,423
Plus it's meat loaf day.
Well...
148
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,092
you're leaving now, buddy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
149
00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:01,826
I-I swiped 'em off the guard
on my way in.
150
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:05,564
I-I mean, sure, yeah, I could
undo my lock, but then what?
151
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,432
After the smartest guy
in the world's done with ya,
152
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,701
it's kinda hard
to find a footing again.
153
00:06:08,703 --> 00:06:10,302
That's why I need
to get you out of here.
154
00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:11,904
We're not
the problem, he is.
155
00:06:11,906 --> 00:06:17,041
And if you can have a fresh
start, then maybe I can too.
156
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,243
It's not like
it's a prison break.
157
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,644
We're just leaving, like,
a hospital
158
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,246
that wants to help you
extra bad.
159
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:24,649
Follow me!
160
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,686
Hey get back here,
you better open this door!
161
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,257
I can fly!
Keep running, Nick.
162
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,459
The more you sweat,
the saltier your cheeks.
163
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,128
Lick this!
Thanks, Morty.
164
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:40,064
That dude's got a tongue
like a cat.
165
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,399
Stop those Portal Boys!
166
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,402
Did you hear that?
That's gonna stick!
167
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,471
[ Groans ]
Damn.
Just like Jackie Chan!
168
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,873
Hah! I guess that makes me
Chris Tucker.
169
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,409
I-I guess?
170
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,078
[ Shocks ]
[ Groans ]
171
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,947
Gonna get you!
[ Growls ]
172
00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,553
[ Gags ]
173
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,021
[ Moans ]
174
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,489
Holy [bleep]!
Did you see that?
175
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,958
I mean you blinded a guy
with puke!
176
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,159
Oh, it was insane.
177
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:09,093
Gimme dap.
Am I doing it right?
178
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,295
D-D-Did
I give you a dap yet?
179
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,696
Look at us.
We got out.
180
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,766
And not just from the asylum
but from Rick.
181
00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:16,301
You get to say
what an adventure is now.
182
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:17,636
You still got that list?
183
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,237
Dude, we can't do that stuff
without Rick's tech.
184
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:24,376
Then it's time the Portal Boys
get themselves a portal gun.
185
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:25,644
Remember your training,
crows.
186
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,813
The idol should be
around that corner!
187
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:33,051
[ Vocalizing ]
188
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,519
[ Crows caw ]
189
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,321
Do you guys just follow training
when you feel like it?
190
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,723
That's not being trained,
that's being dicks.
191
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:40,125
[ Caws ]
192
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,661
Ah, now I see.
The real treasure is empathy.
193
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,797
And that's worth way
more than any knick-knack.
194
00:07:44,799 --> 00:07:49,001
You guys just earned yourselves
another adventure!
195
00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:50,402
The adventure is,
you're fired.
196
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:52,404
Sorry, guys, if I wanted
another bleeding heart,
197
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:55,474
I'd inject reanimator serum into
an actual bleeding heart.
198
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,342
Relax,
this is an avian planet
199
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:58,811
with 40 million
species of bird,
200
00:07:58,813 --> 00:08:00,278
even one day of working
under me
201
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,280
will make you apex geniuses
down there.
202
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,748
Now hop into these
pneumatic canisters
203
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,618
they used to use at bank
drive-thrus in the '70s.
204
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,755
[ Air hisses ]
[ Pew, pew ]
205
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,290
[ Sighs ]
206
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,293
♪♪
207
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,429
What the...
Hey! Who's tractor beaming me?!
208
00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:19,431
Nobody tractor beams me --
209
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:23,035
Nobody descrambles my tractor
beam scrambler to boot.
210
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,772
Sorry for
the tractor beaming,
211
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,974
but did you lose
these two crows?
212
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,177
Oh, uh, yeah, no
I-I dropped 'em off 'cause
213
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,712
I-I can't hold
a candle to them.
214
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,248
Y'know it s-seemed like
a -- the decent thing to do.
215
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,783
Be your crows.
Train yourself.
216
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,318
Crows are then trained.
217
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,854
I'm open to what
you're describing if it's easier
218
00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:44,389
than wiping an unearned smirk
off my grandson's face.
219
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,925
W-What do I do?
Look at your crows.
220
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,326
Be your crows.
221
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,862
God I am so glad
I'm a primate.
222
00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:52,464
Fine.
Looking at my crows.
223
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:54,799
We train ourselves
to stop training.
224
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:58,403
The trained are untrained,
we are untrained.
225
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,605
All training is complete.
226
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:03,007
Because no training
was needed.
227
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:10,549
♪♪
228
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:18,156
♪♪
229
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,024
My God.
I-I get it, now.
230
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:23,696
We are gonna shove this crow
shit down Morty's throat!
231
00:09:23,698 --> 00:09:25,497
Nick, m-maybe
this isn't a good idea.
232
00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:27,232
L-Like what if
he catches us?
233
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,434
He could trap me in
a Matrix again.
Listen to yourself.
234
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:30,903
We wouldn't even be
in this situation
235
00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:34,172
if the dude hadn't
[bleep] us both over.
236
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,507
Damn it.
He must be showing the gun off
237
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:37,576
to his stupid crows --
i-it's not fair!
238
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:40,645
It's okay, we can still liberate
all this other stuff.
239
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,581
Let's only grab
what we need, though.
240
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,449
Oh, no. [Bleep]
That's Rick's can crusher!
241
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,984
H-He spent three weeks
perfecting that.
242
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,921
Morty, buddy, you forget
that we're in this together.
243
00:09:48,923 --> 00:09:51,790
Besides, tell me that didn't
feel the slightest bit good.
244
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,126
I mean yeah, but w-we
can't do that again.
245
00:09:54,128 --> 00:09:55,828
Why the hell not?
246
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,665
Whoa!
247
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:03,067
Haha!
248
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,403
Here we go, bitch!
249
00:10:04,405 --> 00:10:06,871
Son, have you fallen in
with a weird stranger
250
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:10,008
and are now trashing
your grandpa's place?
251
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,677
'Cause I'll help!
252
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,813
Dad?
Psh, whatever, man.
253
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,949
Ah. Yeah!
Yeah!
Now eat my ass, Rick!
254
00:10:16,951 --> 00:10:19,551
Suck it, Sanchez!
255
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,019
Morty, is that
what I think it is?
256
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,821
I mean, it's the equivalent
of an iPhone 3
257
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:26,224
And it's empty but it means
the Portal Boys be portal-ing!
258
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,426
[ Robotic voice ]
Rick incoming.
259
00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:28,961
Oh, crap,
we better skedaddle!
260
00:10:28,963 --> 00:10:30,362
[ Babbling ]
Moooooorty.
261
00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:32,164
But what about my dad,
he-he's like a-a...
262
00:10:32,166 --> 00:10:33,632
puddle.
You heard the garage,
263
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,233
Rick'll turn him back
into a solid when he gets here!
264
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,835
Sorry, Dad,
gotta go be heroes.
265
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,837
G-Gonna take your car,
love you!
266
00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:46,745
That's us down there
with the poop brown roof.
267
00:10:51,786 --> 00:10:55,654
[ Wah, wah, wah ]
268
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,190
What is that?
Oh. Ha. That?
269
00:10:58,192 --> 00:10:59,724
T-That's...nothing.
270
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:02,594
But I see "Two Crows"
written right here beside...
271
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:06,331
Gene with donkey brains,
half a Paul Giamatti, and...
272
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,666
sentient shit.
273
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,068
I guess the "joke" being
that crows are stupid?
274
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,270
I think it's a little more
nuanced than that.
275
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,538
Right,
because you just learned
276
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,474
empathy from us
10 minutes ago
277
00:11:15,476 --> 00:11:18,076
but now we're going to learn
we don't get your humor?
278
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,411
[Bleep] horse shit.
279
00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:21,213
Yeah, there's not a ton
to "get," genius,
280
00:11:21,215 --> 00:11:24,616
the "joke" is your grandson
was so replaceable
281
00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:27,219
that "even"
two crows could do it.
282
00:11:27,221 --> 00:11:29,087
Haha.
It's funny except it's not.
283
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,824
Right, well, to be honest,
that is how I felt at the time.
284
00:11:31,826 --> 00:11:33,425
But I've-I've
rounded a corner.
285
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:34,959
I seriously have,
you guys.
286
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:40,499
Well, now it's time to
round the corner of death!
287
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:44,036
Let the crow-volution
begin.
288
00:11:44,038 --> 00:11:45,370
Aah!
289
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,105
Aw, that sound.
What have you done?
290
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:51,910
Turned crows against dozens
of humans in a 300 meter radius.
291
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,578
Jerry: Heeeelllllp...
pleaseee...
292
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,447
Oh, now
you beg for help?
293
00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:57,315
-That wasn't me.
-What do you mean?
294
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,851
Dooooown here.
295
00:11:58,853 --> 00:12:00,919
Jerry, what the [bleep],
why are you a puddle?
296
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,987
You don't deserve these!
297
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,056
-Haha.
-Genius.
298
00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:06,791
Caaatch you at
a baaad time?
Yeah, Jerry.
299
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,627
They took my
goddamn crows!
300
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,000
Not now, Garbage Goober!
Get back in your hole!
301
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:19,638
Hohoho,
our first adventure!
302
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,039
This definitely the place?
303
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,574
Yeah, Rick's been ripping
these guys off for years,
304
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,243
they'll-they'll be really --
[ Distant yell ]
305
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,711
uh, grateful.
306
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,380
Y'know, there --
Let's just get that fluid, bud.
307
00:12:28,382 --> 00:12:32,618
The Portal Boys are about
to be in portal business!
308
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,654
Here he is.
309
00:12:35,656 --> 00:12:37,790
This rat was skimming
your crystal harvest
310
00:12:37,792 --> 00:12:41,126
and sending it to a spaceman
named Rick Sanchez.
311
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,328
-Bastard!
-Screw Rick! Kick his dick!
312
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:48,400
Yeah, right?! But me and Nick
here, we-we put a stop to that.
313
00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:51,003
The people of Kuntak
thank you.
314
00:12:51,005 --> 00:12:52,471
He's a bad guy, right?
315
00:12:52,473 --> 00:12:54,072
Y-You're gonna bring him
to justice?
316
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,608
Yeah, of course.
317
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,877
Uh, okay, p-pleasure
doing business!
318
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,278
Not so fast,
Morty.
319
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,414
We're not leaving until we get
what we came for.
320
00:13:02,416 --> 00:13:03,748
Funny,
I'm prepared to.
321
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,284
So hey, look, wh-what we want
is portal fluid.
322
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,820
As our thanks.
323
00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:09,287
Portal fluid?
324
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,624
You think I'd live in a lizard
mine if I had portal fluid?
325
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:16,495
Right, ok, or we could just
kill you for it.
326
00:13:16,497 --> 00:13:18,430
He's kidding.
He's -- t-the Portal Boys
327
00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:20,765
only kill with kindness.
And with guns.
328
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:24,302
Oh, no. Oh, no.
I-I'm not the one shooting!
329
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,571
-Kill them!
-I'm sorry.
330
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:30,642
Stop! Stop!
They're unarmed!
331
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,310
Ahh!
What the [bleep]?!
332
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,847
Morty! Morty!
333
00:13:34,849 --> 00:13:41,386
♪♪
334
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,589
Cool place ya got here. Very
Dark Crystal meets Hot Topic.
335
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,324
Now where are my damn crows?
336
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:49,127
♪♪
337
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,929
[ Crow alarm blares ]
Seriously?
338
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,398
Is there anything
not on theme here?
339
00:13:53,400 --> 00:14:02,074
♪♪
340
00:14:02,076 --> 00:14:06,611
Even now your primate storms our
ship to assert his dominance.
341
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,214
Touch the sacred egg
and ascend.
342
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,417
No longer shall you
take orders from this beast.
343
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,219
But taking orders from you
i-is fine?
344
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,888
Silence, Ape!
345
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,092
C'mon, if you think my crows
are gonna leave the great thing
346
00:14:20,094 --> 00:14:22,695
we have for whatever high
fantasy bull [bleep] this is?
347
00:14:22,697 --> 00:14:25,764
You 're wrong.
R-Right, guys?
348
00:14:25,766 --> 00:14:27,700
Th-This is seriously a toss-up.
349
00:14:27,702 --> 00:14:29,434
[ Phone rings ]
350
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,636
Uh...someone wanna get that?
351
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:32,905
Oh.
It's me, isn't it?
352
00:14:32,907 --> 00:14:34,172
Woof.
353
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,840
Lemme just make sure
it's not an emergency...
354
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:38,376
Yello.
Rick, I'm so sorry,
I-I messed up big!
355
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,779
Morty? It's okay, y-ya can't be
worse off than me.
356
00:14:40,781 --> 00:14:42,247
I-I got portal splashed,
robbed you,
357
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,782
jumped into a rebound
with a psycho,
358
00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:45,250
and-and left
a trail of dead!
359
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,518
Wow,
somebody's been busy.
360
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:47,720
I-I did it 'cause
you hurt my feelings
361
00:14:47,722 --> 00:14:49,187
w-when you chose
the two crows!
362
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,256
Jesus, it was a bit,
I'm getting my ass kicked
363
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,858
by this dumb [bleep] crow story,
it's all gone tits up.
364
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:57,129
Ha, okay,
I-I miss you, man.
365
00:14:57,131 --> 00:15:00,065
Uh, goddamn it, might've been
a bit too frank there.
366
00:15:07,608 --> 00:15:09,874
Yeah...
gonna have to call ya back.
367
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,075
Ahh!
Nick: Gah!
368
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,011
Tiny-handed little brat --
369
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,413
You think you can [bleep]
with me and get away with it?!
370
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:25,890
[ Tires squealing ]
Then you don't know Nick.
371
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:28,893
Busted.
You don't get it, do you?
372
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,695
As long as we have
these portals,
373
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,297
you can never escape me.
374
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,565
What the hell, man.
375
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:35,167
I-I thought we were both
victims of Rick's abuse.
376
00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:36,701
Maybe we are,
maybe we're not.
377
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,370
Maybe we both just drink
at the same bar
378
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:41,106
and maybe one night
I tried to take his portal gun.
379
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,642
See I thought Rick was my ticket
to something special,
380
00:15:43,644 --> 00:15:45,644
but it turns out
you were, Morty.
381
00:15:45,646 --> 00:15:48,913
And look at me now --
I'm a Portal Boy.
382
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:51,516
That name sucks!
I was just trying to yes-and!
383
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:54,119
You don't get it, Morty.
384
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,387
We're partners.
385
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,722
Now fall in line or I'll make
your life a living hell.
386
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,125
No...thank...you.
387
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:03,528
Pity, I can't have you connected
to me if you're not on my side.
388
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,197
That means
I gotta kill you.
389
00:16:05,199 --> 00:16:07,666
The thing is,
I already got a partner,
390
00:16:07,668 --> 00:16:09,934
and there's no room
for promotions.
391
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,937
[ Both yelling ]
392
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,673
What the [bleep]
did you just do?
393
00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:16,842
Cut you out of my life.
394
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:27,151
Ahhh!
[ Grunts ]
395
00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:32,157
[ Beeps ]
[ Whoosh ]
396
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:35,360
See how quickly your allies
abandon you, Rick Sanchez?
397
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,197
Lucky for me, abandonment's my
bread and butter.
398
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,569
Oh [bleep].
You were supposed to die!
399
00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:45,904
I gotta hand it to you...
400
00:16:45,906 --> 00:16:48,773
I was iffy about this one
but crow tech slaps!
401
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:53,178
♪♪
402
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,913
Finish him,
you fools!
403
00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:56,515
Go ahead.
Do it.
404
00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:57,782
You guys look so rad.
405
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,852
I deserve to go out this way!
406
00:17:05,726 --> 00:17:09,528
Crows: Bird...qua...luudes.
Done.
407
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:13,131
♪♪
408
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,867
Oh, my god, that was awesome.
409
00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:16,735
Y-You could've killed me
back there.
410
00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:19,137
H-How did you guys
ever forgive me?
411
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,805
Right,
'cause this toxic thing
412
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,340
I have with Morty
doesn't define us.
413
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:27,412
Man, crows are empathetic
as [bleep]!
414
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,181
Definitely saving this one!
415
00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:33,352
Rick and two crows!
416
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:39,157
Oh, my god, Morty.
417
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,359
Here, here come here
l-let-let grandpa fix you up,
418
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,495
What do you want, a robot hand?
A lizard hand?
419
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,430
I can make it big again
like that one time?
420
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,831
Just my regular hand!
421
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,134
Right, not a time for bits,
I get it.
422
00:17:51,772 --> 00:17:53,238
There ya go,
good as new.
423
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,774
So we're like,
back-back, right?
424
00:17:55,776 --> 00:17:57,109
Rick and Morty,
together again.
425
00:17:57,111 --> 00:17:59,844
Fu-Full reset?
No.
426
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,446
No, Morty,
I think we're done.
427
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,248
Be-Because I spilled the portal
fluid and didn't tell you?
428
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,850
No, Morty. 'Cause you were too
afraid to tell me.
429
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,586
What we had was abusive.
Don't you see?
430
00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,522
I'm a bad partner because I
never made you a true partner.
431
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,056
The crows made me see that.
432
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,525
I thought they were a joke
like you,
433
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,327
but it turns out they're more
enlightened than any of us.
434
00:18:15,329 --> 00:18:17,862
O-Okay?
And-And what's the undercut?
435
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,398
You're not hearing me.
436
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,734
I will never be the same so I
need to leave with the crows
437
00:18:21,736 --> 00:18:23,535
and see what more
they can teach me.
438
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:26,004
Oh. Oh.
439
00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:29,874
Here,
I want you to have this.
440
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,210
Oh, wow I...
441
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:35,480
You know what, Rick?
You really have changed.
442
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:38,283
Thanks, Morty.
443
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,285
I'll always be your grandpa,
Morty.
444
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,855
Just kinda obsessed
with crows now.
445
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:54,166
♪♪
446
00:18:54,168 --> 00:18:58,036
♪ Every day
the sun burns brighter ♪
447
00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:02,641
♪ With you by my side ♪
448
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:06,711
♪ And that we go on forever ♪
449
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:12,116
♪ Together you and I ♪
450
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,118
Aww shit!
Rick and two crows!
451
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,453
Kicking off my new franchise!
452
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,989
The galaxy is
our telephone wire!
453
00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:18,190
We'll do a thousand seasons,
454
00:19:18,192 --> 00:19:20,793
14 episodes each,
9-9 seconds a pop
455
00:19:20,795 --> 00:19:22,127
because that's
the future of viewing --
456
00:19:22,129 --> 00:19:23,996
shows on your shoes --
Sneaki!
457
00:19:23,998 --> 00:19:25,330
That's when you've got
everybody's attention --
458
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:26,931
when they're putting crap
on their feet.
459
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,533
That's when they wanna laugh.
Cry.
460
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:31,003
Or feel anything besides
a shoe going on their foot!
461
00:19:31,005 --> 00:19:32,671
Watch sitcoms on your sneakers!
462
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:34,206
The Rick and Two Crows Show,
463
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:36,341
we're gonna be layin' --
layin' walnuts on the road
464
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:39,077
for car tires to open em'
you know what I mean?
465
00:19:39,079 --> 00:19:43,281
Forever, it's Rick
and two crows, forever!
466
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,949
♪♪
467
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,819
♪ Oh, we go on ♪
468
00:19:46,821 --> 00:19:49,021
♪ You by my side ♪
469
00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:51,156
♪ Forever ♪
470
00:19:51,158 --> 00:19:52,825
♪ You and I ♪
471
00:19:52,827 --> 00:19:55,227
♪ We wreaked hell ♪
472
00:19:55,229 --> 00:19:57,629
♪ Every night ♪
473
00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:59,431
♪ Together ♪
474
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,700
♪ You and I ♪
475
00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:03,702
♪ Running on ♪
476
00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:05,570
♪ Borrowed time ♪
477
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,706
♪ Forever ♪
478
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,908
♪ You and I ♪
479
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:18,250
♪♪
480
00:20:18,252 --> 00:20:20,719
[ Gasps ]
Where do you think
you're going?
481
00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:22,187
Oh, well, ya know...
482
00:20:22,189 --> 00:20:24,389
the-the red light
usually means there's...
483
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,390
garbage...
484
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,192
Did you seriously
not talk to Rick yet?
485
00:20:27,194 --> 00:20:28,527
I kinda hinted at it.
486
00:20:28,529 --> 00:20:30,062
L-Look,
I know it's not the job
487
00:20:30,064 --> 00:20:32,130
I came here for but
it's an honest living.
488
00:20:32,132 --> 00:20:33,265
Goddamn it, Harold.
489
00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:35,400
What do they call you --
Garbage Goober?
490
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,402
You are a doctor
for god sakes!
491
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,204
Look, I don't know
how I let this happen
492
00:20:39,206 --> 00:20:42,807
but I-I've let it play out
so long that I can't stop now.
493
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,410
You're a coward.
494
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:47,812
You're right.
This ends here and now.
495
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:50,415
Garbage Goober, we got
freshy trash trash for ya!
496
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:54,819
Extra stinky just the way
you like it!
497
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,021
Mmm, trash,
I love trash...
498
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,525
yum yum trash,
I wanna eat trash.
499
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,061
Man:
Did you get any of that?