1 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,873 Are we -- are we gonna put it back when we're done with it? 2 00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:11,543 Why? The only thing of value on it is the secret treasure map. 3 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,145 The rest is just instructions for running a country, 4 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,813 And I'm pretty sure they're online. 5 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,281 It just feels a little wrong -- 6 00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:17,882 Morty, are you gonna be a [bleep] america nerd 7 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,017 Or are you gonna be cool 8 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,652 And steal the constitution with grandpa? 9 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,157 Here, hold this while I crack the hermetic seal. 10 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,227 W-why not just use this again? 11 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:29,662 [ ding! ] 12 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,101 Morty! You just destroyed the map 13 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,503 And activated the giant assassin hidden in the statue of liberty! 14 00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:40,038 I'm sorry -- w-wait, what? 15 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,307 It was a trojan horse, morty. Never trust the french. 16 00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:44,042 Alright, fun's fun, but now the federal government's 17 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,110 Gonna be pissed again. Way to go. 18 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:47,445 And on america's birthday 19 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,181 Or whatever the [bleep] thanksgiving is. 20 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:57,589 ♪♪ 21 00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:05,998 ♪♪ 22 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:14,339 ♪♪ 23 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:22,547 ♪♪ 24 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:23,816 Seal team leader: Rick and morty! 25 00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:25,350 You are under arrest and surrounded 26 00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,819 By an anti-portal shimmer! 27 00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,086 Come out with your hands up! 28 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,954 Well, happy thanksgiving to me. 29 00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:32,491 Can't wait to see what a "shimmer" does to my prostate. 30 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,693 Dad, can you please just end whatever this is -- 31 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,428 I understand you're upset, mr. President. 32 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,163 It's honestly all morty's fault. 33 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,964 But in the meantime, you really want to keep your army 34 00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:42,567 Of pointlessly camouflaged eagle scouts off my lawn. 35 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,369 Don't tell me what I want, you anti-american 36 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,704 Piece of [bleep] you terrorist! 37 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,305 You know, you use that word so much 38 00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,773 It's lost all meaning, mr. P. 39 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,375 It's like, at this point, what's a terrorist? 40 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,177 It's a guy you don't like. Big deal. 41 00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:53,512 Hoo-rah! 42 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:57,582 [ screaming ] 43 00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,783 Told you to stand down. 44 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,253 You just lost two soldiers over here. Good men. 45 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:02,987 Might be time to look at the terrorist in the mirror. 46 00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,456 You want a war?! 47 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,725 I'll put your outer-space ass in a goddamn phantom zone 48 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,460 With a bar of kryptonite soap around your neck. 49 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,395 You're done, sanchez! You hear me? 50 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:11,930 Oof. He's really pissed this time. 51 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,532 Why don't you guys just [bleep] and get it over with. 52 00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:14,799 Okay, well thank you, summer, 53 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,268 But I think I've got a better option. 54 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,602 Dad, no. Ehh... 55 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,137 Hands are tied, sweetie. 56 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,739 I have to turn myself into a turkey and trick the president 57 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,674 Into giving me a presidential turkey pardon. 58 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,877 Again? How many times have you done this? 59 00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:26,411 I don't know, jerry, how many years have I lived here? 60 00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:27,880 Careful how you answer that. 61 00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:29,814 Geez, rick, y'know, y-you've done this a lot. 62 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,750 Don't you think the president might see it coming this time? 63 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,553 He probably will, morty. That's all part of the dance. 64 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:35,888 In the past, I've inserted myself 65 00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:38,022 Into the potential turkey pardonee population 66 00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,491 By brainwashing the presidential turkey wrangler 67 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,025 Prior to the ceremony. 68 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:43,361 But this time, the turkey wrangler's been euthanized 69 00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:44,496 And the turkeys will be transported 70 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,164 By armored military vehicles. 71 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,701 Vehicles manufactured by ghost corporations that I control. 72 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,237 -Which we have audited. -Allowing me access to... 73 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,638 -Central computers... -To track the... 74 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,040 Real armored transports, which he can never... 75 00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,309 Totally track and sneak aboard. 76 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:58,911 And even if he does, he'll be on a truck 77 00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:01,379 Full of turkeys and fully armed marines. 78 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,315 Who won't recognize me because the human eye 79 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,049 Is inherently face blind to turkeys. 80 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:07,986 President: Fortunately, those marines won't have human eyes. 81 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,588 They'll have turkey eyes. 82 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,523 Jesus ever-loving christ, why don't you two 83 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,458 Just [bleep] and get it over with? 84 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,327 Careful, dwayne. You're only vice president 85 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,061 Because I need 10% of the white vote. 86 00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:19,731 There's a giant french assassin attacking new york, 87 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,934 And you're using the war room to measure dicks 88 00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:24,136 With your alcoholic sci-fi boyfriend? 89 00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:25,604 Rick sanchez is more dangerous 90 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,672 Than some steam-powered french bitch, 91 00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,742 And new york can handle its own global emergencies. 92 00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:32,344 General? Initiate operation deep gobble. 93 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:35,413 [ cellphone vibrates ] 94 00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,215 Coop, not on thanksgiving. 95 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,550 It's what I trained for, mary lou. 96 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,352 It ain't our fight. Baby. 97 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,955 That little race car driver you got bakin' in your belly. 98 00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:44,889 What world you want him rearin' up in? 99 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,492 One where some... Spiky-haired doctor who 100 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,561 In a lab coat can change the color of the sky? 101 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,164 Or a world where he can fill his pickup with hot dogs 102 00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:53,565 And drive it to a jukebox 103 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,034 Full of our demographic's current favorite music? 104 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,569 Obviously the latter, but -- 105 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,838 Well, that world, mary lou, the one with those meals, 106 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,175 Vehicles, and songs people in this 30-mile area prefer... 107 00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:05,043 That world needs a few good men. 108 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,578 In a secret pentagon lab. 109 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,246 Turning into turkeys. 110 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,416 You come back without feathers, coop. 111 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,186 God, I love this country. 112 00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:16,989 Hoooo-ah! 113 00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:19,591 ♪ I got a pregnant girl and a pickup truck ♪ 114 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,593 ♪ I got one by choice and the other by luck ♪ 115 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:25,930 ♪ but now it's time to turn into a turkey ♪ 116 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,266 ♪ I hope there can be peace one day ♪ 117 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,335 ♪ till then, I pray my dna ♪ 118 00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:31,870 ♪ gets backed up ♪ 119 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,138 General green: These pills contain tracking chips 120 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,475 That identify each of you as individuals. 121 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:39,478 That will be important later. 122 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,880 ♪ gobble, gobble ♪ 123 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,216 ♪ gobble, gobble ♪ 124 00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:48,620 ♪ when I turn into a turkey ♪ 125 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:53,792 ♪♪ 126 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,561 Alright, boys, search every bird. 127 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:59,164 If sanchez is here, I wanna hear you gobblin'. 128 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,499 Let me look at you, scum. 129 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,900 Get outta here, you wobbleneck. 130 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:04,636 Sarge, this -- this ain't like the simulation, man. 131 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,571 I don't like it -keep it together, martinez. 132 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:07,906 Eyes are on the ground, sir. 133 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,242 No sign of einstein. Stay frosty, gentlemen. 134 00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:13,712 I want this pardoning pipeline airtight. 135 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,580 Sir! We have hacked the garage door. 136 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,382 We are in. Eyes on the bogey. 137 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,917 Or you've got eyes on a robot. 138 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,253 All due respect, sir, I know flesh when I see it! 139 00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:23,988 Those flesh-covered [burps] robots should buy us some time. 140 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,324 The pardonable turkeys should be on that truck. 141 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,460 Ship, go stealth. 142 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:31,129 Rodriguez, fincher. Get eyes on that. 143 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,331 Huh. Turkey marines. 144 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,933 The president came to play. 145 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:35,934 Jam those two radios. 146 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,135 Ship: Confirmed. 147 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,871 [ radio static ] ah! Geez! 148 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,082 Fincher, rodriguez, come in! 149 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,750 Copy, copy, tango, all good. 150 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,619 Just a couple of branches on the roof. 151 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,421 Don't ever turn your radio off again. 152 00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:58,022 -We will not surrender. -We will never surrender. 153 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,624 -We will not surrender. -Oh, yeah? 154 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,727 Bring in the david blaine box. 155 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,230 Damn, is that a david blaine box? 156 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,632 I told you we should have just gone to my parents' house. 157 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,634 No, you didn't. Well, I didn't say it out loud, 158 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,103 But it should be well known by now 159 00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,837 That I'd always rather be there. 160 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,172 -Oh, god, oh no! -Aw, geez, rick! 161 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,308 Sir, we've got rick and morty inside the box! 162 00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:17,776 Then that confirms it. Sir? 163 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,645 No david blaine box can hold rick sanchez. 164 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,046 Scan the turkey truck! 165 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,115 Huh. That's weird. 166 00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:25,383 Id chips for fincher and rodriguez are glitching. 167 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,518 Sanchez... 168 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,320 I'll deal with this bastard myself. 169 00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:29,521 Sir, don't be a cowboy. 170 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,256 You can't get re-elected dead. 171 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,857 System is calibrated, sir. 172 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,659 That pill contains a tracking chip that will identify -- 173 00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,929 I know, it'll be important later! 174 00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,330 Do it. 175 00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:40,999 [ screams ] 176 00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,734 Reporter: Moments from now, 177 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,870 The president will be pardoning a turkey... 178 00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:48,807 Home stretch, morty. 179 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,742 Here comes dip [bleep] right on schedule. 180 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,478 Nothing can go wrong now. 181 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,679 Morty: Jesus, is that -- oh [bleep] 182 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:55,814 The president has the upper hand. 183 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,282 G-grandpa [bleep] up. Sunglasses on. 184 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,351 Act like a turkey. What? Wha-- are you scared? 185 00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:00,953 Act like a turkey! 186 00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:04,757 That's rodriguez and fincher, sir. 187 00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:07,492 It's rick and morty, you useless [bleep] stump humper! 188 00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:10,228 Sorry, don't tell 10% of your friends I called you that. 189 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,229 Mr. President. 190 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,031 Sanchez, admit it. You lose. 191 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,033 Say it and I'll let your loser ass go. 192 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,368 [ exhales ] 193 00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:18,170 Did you just try to spit in my face with no saliva gland? 194 00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,372 Just pardon me, dick. Why the hell would I? 195 00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:22,174 Oh, I dunno, 'cause if I move to canada, 196 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:23,441 They'll be the best country! 197 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,310 I'll peck your goddamn eyes out! 198 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,578 Ow! Hey! 199 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,246 Shit! My plume! 200 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,182 Hey, back off! 201 00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:32,717 Blueberries! We got blueberries down! 202 00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,719 Hold your positions, it's a feeding frenzy! 203 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:35,988 I-I can't see. 204 00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:37,122 I mean, I can see. 205 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:41,726 270 degrees -- it's too many degrees! 206 00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,862 Sir, we are losing the mental game down here. 207 00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:44,997 General green: Keep it together, soldier! 208 00:07:44,999 --> 00:07:46,965 Potus is still in that pen -- 209 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,740 We just lost new york to France! 210 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,142 Pull out the president right now! 211 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,277 Gobble tango -- I want potus out of that pen! 212 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:02,080 That is an order! Locate the president's chip! 213 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,415 Roger, roger. 214 00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:04,749 There he is, I got him. 215 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:07,019 Let's go, boys! Let's fly out the eagle! 216 00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:09,822 Hey, that's not me! 217 00:08:09,824 --> 00:08:13,625 Package is secure. Pull us out. 218 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:17,029 Computer: Reinjecting subject dna. 219 00:08:17,031 --> 00:08:19,631 [ all scream ] 220 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:27,372 Hoppin' jehovah, you look like five pounds of shit 221 00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,707 In a whore's lunchbox. 222 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,709 You alright, mr. President? 223 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,377 Yes. I am... 224 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,645 The president. 225 00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:36,114 Clean his ass up and get him to the war room. 226 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,516 Hey! Gobble squad! 227 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,184 You got the wrong guy, you morons! 228 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,318 [ gobbling ] 229 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,587 Look at this dumb piece of [bleep]. Gobbling away. 230 00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:44,256 Get back in there! 231 00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:47,259 Alright boys, you heard the vp. Pardon is tits up. 232 00:08:47,261 --> 00:08:48,861 Pack up and ship out! 233 00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:53,665 As for you, sanchez... 234 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,467 Bon appétit. 235 00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,738 Where is this elevator going? 236 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,140 Where all the unchosen turkeys go. 237 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,876 The feeding chamber. 238 00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,279 [ creature roars ] 239 00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:08,747 What the [bleep] is that? 240 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,883 Not what...Who. 241 00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:13,952 The only thing to fear is... Me! 242 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,353 How the [bleep] does the white house 243 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,222 Have a cloned spider of fdr? 244 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,823 It's no clone, it's fdr. 245 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,358 He was a guinea pig for the polio vaccine. 246 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,695 We asked ourselves "what walks the most?" 247 00:09:22,697 --> 00:09:24,496 "we?" you're taking credit for this? 248 00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:27,766 The office comes with baggage, morty. 249 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:28,967 Rick, I'm afraid to die! 250 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,302 You won't have to be for long, morty! 251 00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:31,703 We're due to return to human form any second! 252 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:32,971 Then what? 253 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,707 Then we just have to not get eaten by the spider! 254 00:09:34,709 --> 00:09:36,375 Oh, so in other words, be afraid to die? 255 00:09:36,377 --> 00:09:38,243 Morty, if winning an argument is that important to you, 256 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,177 You were never alive! 257 00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:42,046 Time for a new deal... Murder! 258 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,116 President: I'm sick of hearing how iconic you were! 259 00:09:44,118 --> 00:09:47,852 Try having an historical administration after facebook 260 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:50,989 Goes online, you old-timey bitch! 261 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,525 Morty, tear open that panel! 262 00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:55,728 How's this for a fireside chat? 263 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,863 [ screaming ] 264 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,198 Woof. You just killed fdr. 265 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,733 He was a monster, though. 266 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,468 Don't mythologize him. He was a politician. 267 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,738 Speaking of, you kind of saved our bacon there, 268 00:10:05,740 --> 00:10:07,005 So I'll make you a deal. 269 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,074 You pardon us and I'll make you human. 270 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,208 Wrong turkey. 271 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,177 Man, the face blindness is real. 272 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,880 I'd like these... Men... 273 00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:17,549 Turned back into humans, please. 274 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,217 Uh, yes, of course, mr. President. 275 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,553 But I thought we already rehumanized 276 00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:22,755 All the turkified marines. 277 00:10:22,757 --> 00:10:25,890 I'd like these men turned back into humans. 278 00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:26,959 I am the president. 279 00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:28,226 Yes, sir. Uh, sure thing. 280 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:32,765 Increase their strength by 1,000%. 281 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:34,967 But... That wouldn't be human. 282 00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:39,237 Turkeys have always been more than human. 283 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:42,641 Okay, uh, so right there, now I'm starting to -- 284 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:48,380 I am selling new york to France. 285 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:51,650 And giving all of the money to congress. 286 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,118 [ cheering ] 287 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,519 Now that's how you do it! 288 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,288 He became president today. 289 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,723 [ gasping, murmuring ] 290 00:10:58,725 --> 00:10:59,992 That's right, murmur! 291 00:10:59,994 --> 00:11:01,460 And when you're done, get me some pants. 292 00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:04,128 If you're the president, who the hell have we been 293 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,465 Governing the country with for the last three hours? 294 00:11:06,467 --> 00:11:08,200 An impostor, you good for nothing idiot! 295 00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:10,268 You humanized the wrong turkey! 296 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,470 It's possible. 297 00:11:11,472 --> 00:11:13,672 We shouldn't leave anything to chance. 298 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:17,609 Wouldn't want congress working with the wrong president. 299 00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:20,212 A very good point, mr. President. 300 00:11:20,214 --> 00:11:22,014 Do we believe this fine feathered, 301 00:11:22,016 --> 00:11:24,416 Collaborative gentleman to be our commander-in-chief? 302 00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:27,820 Or are we gonna let "mr. Cash bar at the christmas party" 303 00:11:27,822 --> 00:11:29,087 Stay in office? 304 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,956 All in favor of turkey president? 305 00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,157 You can't be serious. 306 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:34,493 You think he cares about america? 307 00:11:34,495 --> 00:11:36,829 Is that why this is happening to you? 308 00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:40,432 Because you cared about america? 309 00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:42,634 Guards, these men are... 310 00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:43,702 Oh, what is the word? 311 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,103 Uh, terrorists. 312 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:48,106 Okay, screw this. Go, go, sanchez laser fists. 313 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:51,043 Oh [bleep] I was a turkey for a while, wasn't I? 314 00:11:51,045 --> 00:11:52,845 Okay, guy's pretty strong. 315 00:11:52,847 --> 00:11:54,646 Mary todd lincoln! 316 00:11:57,651 --> 00:11:59,651 Who's dead weight now, bitch? 317 00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:03,222 ♪♪ 318 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,259 You should regain feeling in your ass in a minute. 319 00:12:07,261 --> 00:12:08,861 Sorry my turrets blew up your motorcycle. 320 00:12:08,863 --> 00:12:10,529 Just give me some goddamn clothes. 321 00:12:10,531 --> 00:12:12,665 Must suck to have your only safe haven be my house. 322 00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,066 Y-you want your regular outfit 323 00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:15,467 Or should we dress you like a terrorist? 324 00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:17,469 I don't need to be here, and I'm still the president. 325 00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:19,404 Oh, glad to hear it. That means you can give me that pardon. 326 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,073 Or -- or I could put you out with the trash. 327 00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:23,075 What is your problem?! Why do you hate this country? 328 00:12:23,077 --> 00:12:25,143 I hate every country in the universe, brother! 329 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,411 They're job placement programs 330 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,012 For the politicians that invent them -- 331 00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,414 Okay, fight club. 332 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,884 I get paid to protect the sidelines you sit on! 333 00:12:31,886 --> 00:12:33,685 You get paid to make sports metaphors! 334 00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,019 I clean your litterbox! 335 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:37,155 So your little nerd paws don't have to touch 336 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,291 Another nerd's nerdy poopies while you're flexing 337 00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:41,426 Your grody little edge lord anus all over it! 338 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,628 Guys, maybe you're both right and both wrong. 339 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,097 Both: Shut up, morty! 340 00:12:45,099 --> 00:12:46,899 You little bitch, you destroyed the constitution. 341 00:12:46,901 --> 00:12:48,300 You're the biggest booger eater here! 342 00:12:48,302 --> 00:12:51,035 Do not talk to my son that way. 343 00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:52,304 Sorry, mrs. Smith. 344 00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:53,906 The two of you are ruining thanksgiving. 345 00:12:53,908 --> 00:12:55,240 Together. 346 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,641 And you can both either come to the table 347 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,110 And eat food with my family 348 00:12:58,112 --> 00:13:01,380 Or you can keep doing what you're doing at the corner bar. 349 00:13:01,382 --> 00:13:03,515 Bars actually suck at thanksgiving. 350 00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,850 Dorothy: I'm still trying to sort through this. 351 00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,519 One of you wishes you had the personal quality 352 00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:09,254 Known as courage 353 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,189 But the other two of you want actual vital organs? 354 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:13,792 This charlie kaufman reboot of "wizard of oz" 355 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,260 Is destroying itself. 356 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,595 That's why I need a brain! 357 00:13:16,597 --> 00:13:20,064 I'm doing a terrible job writing this! 358 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:22,601 Pass the potatoes. 359 00:13:22,603 --> 00:13:24,469 Thank you. Mm-hmm. 360 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,938 Good green beans, mom. 361 00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:28,140 The turkey's raw, dad. Shit's potato bunz. 362 00:13:28,142 --> 00:13:30,208 Sorry, summer, the united states enclosed us 363 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,611 In a shimmer bubble that scrambled my oven timer. 364 00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:35,147 So I guess elections do have consequences. 365 00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:38,016 Eat my ass, jerry. I've seen your irs records. 366 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,152 You can blame me once you have taxable income. 367 00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:41,954 [ laughs ] yes, jerry is a piece of [bleep]. 368 00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:43,688 I agree. [ news fanfare plays ] 369 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,490 Um, guys? What's that? 370 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,759 Paula, as you can see, president curtis has enacted 371 00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:50,094 A plan to turn all turkeys in america 372 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,496 Into hybrid super soldiers. 373 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,432 The move has 100% approval from congress 374 00:13:53,434 --> 00:13:55,834 Following its third pay raise in six hours. 375 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:56,835 Back to you. 376 00:13:56,837 --> 00:14:01,105 ♪♪ 377 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,975 My god, the bastard's unhinged! 378 00:14:02,977 --> 00:14:04,777 There won't be a single bird left in dc! 379 00:14:04,779 --> 00:14:07,512 Oh, wow, wiping out a native population on thanksgiving? 380 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:10,048 That's never happened before. What did you just say? 381 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,850 Well, I-I associated thanksgiving with genocide. 382 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,052 It's what young people do. I wasn't trying to -- 383 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,587 The crypt of the new world. 384 00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,990 That could be our one chance to turn this thing around. 385 00:14:17,992 --> 00:14:19,257 You know about the crypt? 386 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,925 Ugh, so the treasure's already gone. 387 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:23,195 Wait, is that why you were stealing the constitution? 388 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:24,463 You old fart dick. 389 00:14:24,465 --> 00:14:26,198 The crypt of the new world isn't a treasure. 390 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,932 But it might be our only hope. Come on. 391 00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,002 But isn't the crypt underneath dc? 392 00:14:30,004 --> 00:14:31,670 The turkey president's got an army. 393 00:14:31,672 --> 00:14:33,405 An actual army. And an air force. 394 00:14:33,407 --> 00:14:34,673 And marines -- slow down, morty. 395 00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:36,341 Walk us through every military service. 396 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,409 Does somebody have a pen? 397 00:14:37,411 --> 00:14:38,877 We've got something more powerful 398 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,479 Than every army in the world. 399 00:14:40,481 --> 00:14:42,747 Well, no, we don't, but with the right speech, 400 00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,616 We could get a handful of well-trained hillbillies. 401 00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,452 Eh, it worked against the british. I'm in. 402 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,354 Birds replacin' people. 403 00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,756 What would johnny cash or dale earnhardt say? 404 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,158 He'd say "it's time to walk the line" 405 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,160 Or "drive very fast between two of them." 406 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,962 We don't serve your kind here. 407 00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:59,498 Oh, my god, are you serious? 408 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,033 Read the sign. 409 00:15:01,035 --> 00:15:02,167 He's my boss, marvin. 410 00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:03,235 It's okay. 411 00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,838 Mistrusting presidents is a patriotic duty. 412 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,439 And that guy on tv isn't me. 413 00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:09,842 He's a turkey infused with my dna. 414 00:15:09,844 --> 00:15:11,844 I'll be damned. 415 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,580 Well, I'm racist. 416 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,916 You better not be here to take my man again. 417 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,651 -Mary lou. -I'm poor! 418 00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:20,785 And pregnant! 419 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:21,920 With a poor person! 420 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,255 And I need you. 421 00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:24,857 And 10% of your baby. 422 00:15:24,859 --> 00:15:28,660 Now, look, I know it's gonna take more than some speech. 423 00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,328 But what is a speech? 424 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,197 Isn't it just a question? 425 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,998 And isn't that a question too? 426 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,534 Speeches are words. 427 00:15:35,536 --> 00:15:36,669 Repeated words. 428 00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:38,070 Listed words. 429 00:15:38,072 --> 00:15:39,872 Repeated lists of repeated words. 430 00:15:39,874 --> 00:15:41,406 None of that matters. 431 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,807 You know what does matter? 432 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:45,009 Me. Asking you. 433 00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:47,546 "will you do what I say?" 434 00:15:47,548 --> 00:15:49,681 Just two questions, chief. 435 00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:52,885 Lock? And load? 436 00:15:52,887 --> 00:15:54,018 They're rhetorical, sir! 437 00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,220 Lock and load! 438 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,889 [ cheering ] 439 00:15:56,891 --> 00:16:05,029 ♪♪ 440 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,632 Sir, we've got rick and morty coming in what appears to be 441 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,634 An unlicensed "star wars" at-at. 442 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,237 Or as the millennials say, a-t, a-t. 443 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:13,572 So it begins. 444 00:16:13,574 --> 00:16:14,573 Gobblers! 445 00:16:14,575 --> 00:16:16,174 Tonight, we rise! 446 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,843 [ gobbles ] 447 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:24,116 ♪♪ 448 00:16:24,118 --> 00:16:25,551 Aww, geez, geez, geez. 449 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,254 Nice driving, sanchez. 450 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:30,989 Wire's down, pen is clear. 451 00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:32,390 You know the goddamn rules! 452 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,658 If you see something clucking or pecking, 453 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,227 Put a buckshot in its panties. 454 00:16:38,599 --> 00:16:40,933 [ roars ] 455 00:16:40,935 --> 00:16:49,141 ♪♪ 456 00:16:49,143 --> 00:16:51,743 Jesus christ! T-they got johnson! 457 00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:53,278 He got off easy. 458 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,047 Cooper: Hold off the bastards! 459 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:57,816 What now, rick? 460 00:16:57,818 --> 00:16:59,551 Time to turn up the broiler. 461 00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:01,019 [ roars ] 462 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:06,024 ♪♪ 463 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,359 Whoa, I-is that -- 464 00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,595 The crypt of the new world. 465 00:17:10,831 --> 00:17:14,833 The treasure you were after is this country's oldest secret. 466 00:17:14,835 --> 00:17:18,971 One disguised by centuries of thanksgiving folklore. 467 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,976 Is that... A turkey dinosaur? 468 00:17:23,978 --> 00:17:25,377 America's original rulers. 469 00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:28,713 Merciless beasts, grazing on the flesh of cowering humans. 470 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,650 Then, in the 15th century, a vessel crashed. 471 00:17:31,652 --> 00:17:32,451 Two vessels, really. 472 00:17:32,453 --> 00:17:35,387 On board -- our saviors. 473 00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:38,857 Sanchez, pull that lever at the same time I do. 474 00:17:38,859 --> 00:17:47,866 ♪♪ 475 00:17:47,868 --> 00:17:49,001 [ all growl ] 476 00:17:49,003 --> 00:17:51,135 Oh [bleep] they're gonna fight! 477 00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:52,671 Morty: No, wait, they love each other! 478 00:17:52,673 --> 00:17:54,406 They were at war when they arrived, 479 00:17:54,408 --> 00:17:56,809 But they united over their hatred of turkeys. 480 00:17:56,811 --> 00:17:59,077 And what they love even more than each other 481 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,813 Is kicking turkey butt. 482 00:18:00,815 --> 00:18:01,680 Gentlemen! 483 00:18:01,682 --> 00:18:04,149 Ba'ruka dar tin'in yo-tei! 484 00:18:07,688 --> 00:18:10,689 Coooooooooorn! 485 00:18:10,691 --> 00:18:16,161 ♪♪ 486 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,629 It's working! 487 00:18:17,631 --> 00:18:20,165 Come on, sanchez, let's power down the humanizer ray. 488 00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:26,304 Whose side are we on? 489 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,674 I don't know, but we've done enough to pay for college. 490 00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:31,576 Look, we're almost there. 491 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,446 Sorry, my turn for a surprise. 492 00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:36,515 Damn, this guy loves arriving from the shadows. 493 00:18:36,517 --> 00:18:38,983 Look around. You can't beat our ancient warriors. 494 00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:42,387 Can't I? My kind has always dealt with predators. 495 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,456 That's why we sleep in trees. 496 00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:47,792 And that's why, in the wild, we fly. 497 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,794 ♪♪ 498 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,796 Now you must choose --- 499 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,466 Fight me, or stop that weapon from turning 500 00:18:54,468 --> 00:18:57,936 All of america's turkeys into a new master race. 501 00:18:57,938 --> 00:18:59,538 You dumb dip [bleep], there's three of us, 502 00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:00,873 And two of us are spacemen. 503 00:19:00,875 --> 00:19:02,675 Obviously they're gonna save america 504 00:19:02,677 --> 00:19:04,142 And bring that monument home, 505 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,078 And I'm gonna kick your ass. 506 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,345 Oh, and, sanchez? 507 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,680 You got your pardon. Aw. 508 00:19:08,682 --> 00:19:10,815 Shut up, morty. Come on. 509 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,284 Let's go, bitch. 510 00:19:12,286 --> 00:19:14,086 So be it. 511 00:19:15,890 --> 00:19:17,355 Is it true what turkey man said? 512 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,623 That turkeys sleep in trees? 513 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,692 Who the hell cares, morty? 514 00:19:19,694 --> 00:19:21,560 Let's just [burps] deactivate this [bleep] 515 00:19:21,562 --> 00:19:23,428 Calibrating. [ gobbles ] 516 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:25,564 Targeting all american turkeys. 517 00:19:25,566 --> 00:19:27,099 Oh, my god, they gave it a voice? 518 00:19:27,101 --> 00:19:29,768 Who is this for? We're in space. 519 00:19:29,770 --> 00:19:31,570 Geez, rick, I-I-I guess them? 520 00:19:31,572 --> 00:19:32,905 Morty, use this carefully. 521 00:19:32,907 --> 00:19:34,506 Crack the humanizer core and cut the blue wire. 522 00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:35,774 You hear me? Blue wire. 523 00:19:35,776 --> 00:19:37,242 Wha-- why don't we just blow it up? 524 00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:38,577 It's a national monument, [bleep] nut! 525 00:19:38,579 --> 00:19:39,844 We just got pardoned. 526 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,780 You really wanna do this again next year? 527 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:46,651 [ both grunting ] 528 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,052 You forgot something, turkey man. 529 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,589 No matter what you got people to believe, 530 00:19:50,591 --> 00:19:52,857 I'm still the goddamn president. 531 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,261 And you forget, in the one day I've had your job, 532 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,530 I've learned 10 times as much. 533 00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:00,198 I've underestimated you. 534 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,067 For the last time. 535 00:20:02,069 --> 00:20:06,739 ♪♪ 536 00:20:06,741 --> 00:20:08,941 Rick, they're not exactly primary colors! 537 00:20:08,943 --> 00:20:10,943 A-are -- are we cool with, like, t-turquoise? 538 00:20:10,945 --> 00:20:13,278 Are you kidding me, morty? Just cut the damn thing! 539 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,412 [ gobbles ] 540 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,816 Oh, shit, oh [bleep] -- 541 00:20:17,818 --> 00:20:20,218 Targets acquired. Activating weapon. 542 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,355 Oh, shit! Oooooooh! 543 00:20:23,357 --> 00:20:25,157 Heritage destroyed. 544 00:20:25,159 --> 00:20:26,425 Morty! 545 00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:30,763 God damn it, you had one job! 546 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,771 [ groans ] 547 00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:39,838 I beat you. 548 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,106 Look at me, you turkey ass bitch. 549 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,575 [ laughs ] 550 00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:45,310 Wait, why are you -- 551 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:47,112 Is that a wishbone? 552 00:20:47,114 --> 00:20:49,247 I wish to explode. 553 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,850 [ laughs ] 554 00:20:51,852 --> 00:20:55,988 ♪♪ 555 00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:57,722 Man: The berlin wall has come down. 556 00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,057 Man #2: It's called the playstation. 557 00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:00,993 The winner is... "shakespeare in love." 558 00:21:00,995 --> 00:21:02,661 -Playstation 2. -Hurricane katrina 559 00:21:02,663 --> 00:21:04,663 Slams louisiana... -Playstation 3. 560 00:21:04,665 --> 00:21:06,131 -This is maroon five... -Playstation 4. 561 00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:10,002 -The cubbies win! -I want a playstation 5. 562 00:21:10,004 --> 00:21:11,069 [ gasping ] 563 00:21:11,071 --> 00:21:12,671 I wasn't sure when to pull you out. 564 00:21:12,673 --> 00:21:14,939 I-I assumed you were running through your whole life. 565 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,140 Yes. 566 00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:17,942 And what a life it was. 567 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:21,480 Gentlemen, thank you once again for saving this nation. 568 00:21:21,482 --> 00:21:23,548 Slloosh garg blurrg. 569 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:24,817 I don't speak googa. 570 00:21:24,819 --> 00:21:27,219 The cia only taught me your activation phrase. 571 00:21:27,221 --> 00:21:28,553 But if I could say anything... 572 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:32,358 I'd say give america one more chance. 573 00:21:34,428 --> 00:21:38,030 Kalaak 'ha benben prilo garg. 574 00:21:38,032 --> 00:21:40,566 Oh, my god, they're gonna fight. Th-they're really gonna fight. 575 00:21:41,635 --> 00:21:43,702 -Aw, they love each other! -Never gets old. 576 00:21:43,704 --> 00:21:45,170 I'll never get tired of that. 577 00:21:45,172 --> 00:21:47,439 So...After those aliens discovered america... 578 00:21:47,441 --> 00:21:49,041 They went into hibernation, 579 00:21:49,043 --> 00:21:52,577 Leaving us the technology we used to lead the free world. 580 00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:54,779 That and also to do stuff like slavery. 581 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,715 I always thought we were... More special than that. 582 00:21:56,717 --> 00:21:58,717 Like we invented everything and did everything 583 00:21:58,719 --> 00:22:00,318 And that's why we own everything. 584 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,454 Now I-I-I-I don't know what to feel. 585 00:22:02,456 --> 00:22:04,389 Feel thankful, morty. 586 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,058 Feel thankful. 587 00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:14,066 ♪♪ 588 00:22:14,068 --> 00:22:21,874 ♪♪ 589 00:22:21,876 --> 00:22:29,882 ♪♪ 590 00:22:29,884 --> 00:22:37,489 ♪♪ 591 00:22:37,491 --> 00:22:39,491 I know, baby. 592 00:22:39,493 --> 00:22:42,494 Coop, honey, should we get lucky charms or kibble bibbitz? 593 00:22:42,496 --> 00:22:44,229 You know we can't afford either. 594 00:22:44,231 --> 00:22:47,099 Baby, the president owes you. You saved him. 595 00:22:47,101 --> 00:22:48,701 Ain't his fault our insurance got cut. 596 00:22:48,703 --> 00:22:50,102 They gotta build missiles. 597 00:22:50,104 --> 00:22:53,405 Ugh, fine, just -- can y'all hold jakey for a second? 598 00:22:55,576 --> 00:22:59,578 [ high-pitched ringing ] 599 00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:01,380 [ jakey crying ] 600 00:23:03,517 --> 00:23:04,849 Bag boy: What the hell's he doin? 601 00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:05,984 Deli guy: I think he's foraging. 602 00:23:05,986 --> 00:23:07,720 Crazy bastard thinks he's a turkey. 603 00:23:07,722 --> 00:23:10,054 Well, I refuse to pay for this man's health care. 604 00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:14,693 ♪♪ 605 00:23:16,263 --> 00:23:17,563 Did you get any of that?