1 00:00:00,792 --> 00:00:02,044 [ Clanging ] 2 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,089 [ Groaning ] 3 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,094 [ Groans ] 4 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,471 [ Yawns ] 5 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,226 [ Slurping ] 6 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,108 [ Birds chirping ] 7 00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:31,740 [ Bubbling ] 8 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,742 [ Whirring ] 9 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,254 [ Screeching ] 10 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,592 [ Farting ] 11 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,886 [ Music playing ] 12 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:59,893 ♪♪ 13 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,353 'Sup, baby? 14 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:10,153 ♪♪ 15 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,863 [ Hissing ] 16 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:18,328 ♪♪ 17 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:20,622 Let's do some liquor science. 18 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,542 Um, hey, Rick. 19 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,377 Rick! 20 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,879 Rick! Are you ignoring me? 21 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,591 Hey! Hello! Rick! 22 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,593 Did you go deaf? 23 00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:34,678 [ Gasps ] No, no, no, no, no! 24 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,722 Oh, my God! 25 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,515 [ Clattering ] 26 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:40,892 Whoa! 27 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,437 [ Alarm ringing ] Morty! What the fuck? 28 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,938 I didn't -- I didn't mean to! 29 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,857 What the fuck? 30 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,944 Tell me why you ignored a sign that said "do not disturb." 31 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,613 I -- it's not important. 32 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:55,240 It better be. You just destroyed my distillery. 33 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:58,160 So either it's an emergency, or it's important. 34 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,911 And it better be real fuckin' important 35 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,457 because this was the most important thing to me today. 36 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,794 So what did you come down here for? 37 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,505 I was wondering if you could drive me 38 00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:13,175 to pick up some Pokemon cards. 39 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,427 I'm sorry. 40 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,346 Have you ever seen me happy, Morty? 41 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:20,098 What? Uh, I mean, not really. 42 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,767 Well, I've been happy in my life. 43 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,227 And, look, there's no point on the chart 44 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,188 where my joy intersects with your presence. 45 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,439 Then why hang out with me? 46 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,191 I don't know. When I found you, 47 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,567 you were bait. When I killed that fish, 48 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,152 maybe I should have cut the line. 49 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,821 Because all I have now is a fucking worm. 50 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:39,034 You told me that wasn't true. You're just trying to hurt me. 51 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,285 [ Sobbing ] 52 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,496 Morty, no. I meant... 53 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,289 Fuck! 54 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:45,791 God damn it. 55 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,043 This would be the perfect time for a drink. 56 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:56,218 ♪♪ 57 00:02:56,301 --> 00:03:04,559 ♪♪ 58 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:12,734 ♪♪ 59 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:18,615 ♪♪ 60 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,661 Pressure reader. Fermentation chamber. 61 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,163 Copper lining. Wow. Morty blew all this up? 62 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,623 What's a mash tun? 63 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:27,999 Just get an empty beer keg for that. 64 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,668 I'll also need 60 gallon drums. 65 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,169 Okay. Up front, I'm gonna buy myself some 66 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,963 shit since I'm running your errand. 67 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,131 Deal. 68 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,507 Ooh. Can I get a little surprise? 69 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,676 No. The Amex automatically blocks you, Jerry. 70 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,344 How does it know I'm using the card? 71 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,804 Because of the kind of stuff you buy. 72 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:41,972 What do I buy? 73 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,515 Dumb stuff. Dumb stuff. 74 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,768 Computer, replace potato. 75 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:51,273 Computer: The only Grimaldian potato in the galaxy is here. 76 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,816 God damn it! 77 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,360 Let's go. 78 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,112 No, thanks. You're just gonna yell at me. 79 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,030 Morty, what if I told you I have a thing that'll make it 80 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,158 so you never hear me scream at you again? 81 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:04,786 Wait. For real? What kind of thing? 82 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,371 Rick, what the hell?! 83 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,458 Oh! Ah! [ Wailing ] 84 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,627 Rick, what did you do? 85 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,212 It's a Sympathid, a species 86 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,173 that generates unlimited empathy in its hosts. 87 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,548 No matter what I say or do, 88 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,426 the Sympathid will gloss over it 89 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,094 like a Disney edit of a slasher movie. 90 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,387 Here, watch. 91 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,889 You're a worthless piece of shit, Morty! 92 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,390 I'm so disappointed in you. Rick, fuck you! 93 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,058 I can still hear you screaming. 94 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,312 Okay, it must need to burrow a little bit deeper. 95 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,563 There we go. Let's try again. 96 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,357 You're a piece of sh... 97 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,817 ...work, Morty! 98 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,819 Like a golden retriever. A Rick's best friend. 99 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,863 And when I call you a disappointment, 100 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:42,574 it's because I believe you can be so much better than you are. 101 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,659 How's that? Pretty good, huh? 102 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,411 It nibbles on your empathy centers 103 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,954 and poops out something much stronger. 104 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,749 Wait. It eats my empathy? Don't worry. 105 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,251 We'll only keep it in long enough to win a potato together. 106 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,420 Wait. We have to win one. How do we -- 107 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,838 By dancing with the stars! 108 00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,006 [ Grunting ] 109 00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,090 Oh! 110 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,175 [ Grunting ] 111 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,635 [ Gasps ] 112 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,595 [ Grunting ] 113 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:07,974 Uh... 114 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,435 Hey. It's okay. 115 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,812 Focus on my hips. 116 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,438 That's where my center of gravity is. 117 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,898 I don't know, Rick. 118 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,107 You've got this. I believe in you. 119 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,859 You two are up. 120 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,695 Announcer: And now performing "Claier de Lune: Epic Remix" 121 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,114 from the "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" trailer, 122 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,785 Rick Sanchez and his partner Morty Smith. 123 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:34,125 ♪♪ 124 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:41,675 ♪♪ 125 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:49,057 ♪♪ 126 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:55,814 ♪♪ 127 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,859 Huzzah! A triumph in movement. 128 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,652 Rick, I did it! I caught you. 129 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,195 I knew you could do it, buddy! 130 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,531 Announcer: Congratulations, newest champions. 131 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,658 Here is your reward. 132 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,494 One perfect Grimaldian potato. 133 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,413 And did you see when we nailed that triple spin? 134 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,832 Your timing was metronomic, Morty. 135 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,126 And then when I caught you -- oh. 136 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:20,505 Oh, all of that was the Sympathid, wasn't it? 137 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,507 Did we actually dance or... 138 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,801 The dancing was real. The trust, the connection, 139 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,678 not so much. 140 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,555 It was real nice to to feel like that with you. 141 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,223 Well, it can't stay in there forever. 142 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,725 There's a bit of a comedown. 143 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,351 What kind of comedown -- aah! 144 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,312 [ Moans ] 145 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,522 I feel like shit. 146 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,691 Wow, it's so nice outside. 147 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,151 Stop guilting me! 148 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,486 Oh, my God. This is our fifth Home Depot. 149 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,447 I'm tired of depots. 150 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,032 I'm not going home without those drums. 151 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,867 It's the last thing we need on Grandpa Rick's list. 152 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,286 Maybe we should have done all the Rick shopping 153 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,121 before we went Summer shopping. 154 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,457 I wasn't going to miss out on that Gucci x Kellogg's drop. 155 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,251 Also, I didn't know everyone was gonna be out of 60 gallon drums. 156 00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,878 [ Thudding ] 157 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,087 What the shit? 158 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,797 That dude's hoarding all the drums! 159 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,716 Why is this guy such a drum hog? 160 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,760 I'm looking for the Petco. My dog needs... 161 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:07,844 Ah! 162 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,554 Summer: Oh, he's a serial killer. 163 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,389 Jesus! We go to rescue that girl. 164 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,724 We got to call the cops. 165 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:13,725 Are you kidding? Those drums are evidence. 166 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,226 The cops will take them all. 167 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,145 I need you to follow my lead. 168 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,066 [ Groaning ] 169 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,735 [ Chuckles ] These hatchbacks, huh? 170 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,236 Uh, is that a dead girl? 171 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,905 [ Chuckles ] You got me. 172 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,406 Thought this rug would do the deed, 173 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,909 but it's clearly not working out. 174 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:34,079 Ooh. Now, those are a good idea. Mm. 175 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,081 Wish I'd thought of 60 gallon drums. 176 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,668 Yeah, yeah, they're kind of industry standard. 177 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,046 Is my face red? Amateur serial killer here. 178 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:46,132 Uh, you think maybe I could buy a couple off you? 179 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,886 Sure. Uh, retail price is 75 bucks. 180 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:53,848 Oh, thanks. Saved my night. Uh, here, I've got 100. 181 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,392 Uh, I don't have any change. 182 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:56,977 That's okay. Keep it. 183 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,604 No, no, I'm a killer, not a thief. 184 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:04,275 Look, I've got plenty of change at my place. 185 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:07,529 It's right down the street. 186 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,280 Oh. 187 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,200 We got to save that girl. 188 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,411 Summer: [ Muffled ] We got to get those drums! 189 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:19,290 Hey, dipshit, get on the bus so I can make fun of you! 190 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:22,043 You've got the body of a 14 year old boy, 191 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,379 and I'm gonna beat the shit out of that body. 192 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:27,882 Bully is life! I'm gonna make you so fucking sad. 193 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,802 Yeah. Okay, pal. Good luck with that. 194 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,639 They're paycheck to paycheck, 195 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,890 but they keep voting against their own interests. 196 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,644 I see you. I know how much pain you're in. 197 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,479 It's not your fault. 198 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:42,605 [ Sobbing ] 199 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,190 [ Cheering ] 200 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,526 Mr. Goldenfold: And that's why the Boston Tea Party 201 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,570 sparked the American Revolution. 202 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,364 Holy integers! A raised hand. 203 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,657 This is why I only teach math. 204 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,534 History classes get you canceled. 205 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,161 I just wanted to say 206 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,996 that this history lesson looks a little different 207 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,165 when you empathize with all the parties involved. 208 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,251 You take a smart pill? You're too wise for a child. 209 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,669 Next time I have to sub, 210 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,337 maybe you should do the teaching. 211 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,299 We should talk about the real issue here, Mr. Goldenfold. 212 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,301 Your ex-wife. Call her. 213 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:14,345 You might not get another shot, but you'll at least get closure. 214 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,848 I wish you were my son. 215 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,516 Hey, can I talk about how I was bullied in high school 216 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,851 because of my last name? 217 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,102 There's time enough for everyone, 218 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,687 Principal Vagina. 219 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:27,984 ♪ Thank you, India, thank you, Providence ♪ 220 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:32,864 ♪ Thank you, disillusionment ♪ 221 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,825 ♪ Thank you, nothingness ♪ 222 00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:38,203 ♪ Thank you, clarity ♪ 223 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:43,040 ♪ Thank you, thank you, silence ♪ 224 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,210 ♪ Yeah ♪ 225 00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,379 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 226 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:55,470 ♪♪ 227 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:59,724 Thanks for waiting. I had to unload the stuff. 228 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,060 Tea? 229 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,353 Sure. 230 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,564 Uh, I don't have to be worried about this, do I? 231 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:07,816 [ Chuckles ] 232 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,652 I don't know. Do you? 233 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:12,278 [ Chuckles ] 234 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,572 [ Laughing ] 235 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:18,243 Let me get you that change for the drums. 236 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,872 [ Summer grunting ] 237 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:26,042 [ Jerry and man laughing ] 238 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,294 Oh! 239 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,422 [ Summer grunts ] 240 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,759 [ Grunts ] 241 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,178 Woman: Hello? Please let me live. 242 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,596 I'll do anything! 243 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,973 Oh! You're alive. 244 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,600 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Help! Help! 245 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,269 Shh, shh. Okay. 246 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,271 Uh, yeah. I'm gonna get you out of there. 247 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,856 Thank you. Thank you! 248 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:50,233 If you help me get these 60 gallon drums out of here. 249 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,651 Huh? 250 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:52,777 [ Slurping ] 251 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,154 Got to say, 252 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:57,323 you don't seem like a serial killer. 253 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:01,786 Oh, I promise I'm a nightmare person. 254 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,538 The worst of the worst. 255 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,375 Really? What's your signature? 256 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,752 Ah. My signature. 257 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,129 Uh, what's yours? 258 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:15,091 I leave a cat toy in my victim's pockets. 259 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,469 That's why I'm the cat and mouse killer. 260 00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,138 [ Toy squeaks ] Oh. 261 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:25,059 Well, uh, I, uh, pour honey in the hair, 262 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:28,646 and then I take, a bunch of flour 263 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,106 and kind of mash it in there, too, 264 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,984 and some sprinkles and a balloon, 265 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,779 and like, I make a card that says "Happy Birthday." 266 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,157 And then I wrap them in wrapping paper, 267 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:43,369 and that's why they call me the Birthday Butcher. 268 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:47,832 I kill them on their birthday because that's a double kill. 269 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,834 You know, the death of the child 270 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,669 and the death of the parent. 271 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,296 The parent who metaphorically dies 272 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:56,341 when they become a childless, regular person again. 273 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,176 It's two in one. 274 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:02,513 And when I kill twins, it's four at the same time. 275 00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:05,808 Oh, there's real darkness in you. 276 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,519 [ Machine whirring ] 277 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,772 [ Knocking ] Hey, Rick. 278 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,148 I've been thinking about our boundaries. 279 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,317 And you're right. I shouldn't just walk in 280 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,527 and expect access to your time and attention. 281 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,154 What a pleasant surprise, Morty. 282 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,156 I didn't expect the Sympathid to have lasting effects. 283 00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,200 Well, I'd like to bring our trust up 284 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,494 to our good old Rick and Morty baseline. 285 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:27,038 It's important that you feel appreciated and seen. 286 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:30,375 Point is, I'm gonna focus on finding balance between my needs 287 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,043 and what you want. 288 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,545 Well, I want that thermometer. 289 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,089 Easy! 290 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,216 Do you mind if I take this? My grandpa needs it. 291 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,218 [ Grunting ] 292 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,552 Ahh! Kaboom! 293 00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,221 Aw, look at the little guy! 294 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:44,597 Morty, your arm. 295 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,765 My arm? 296 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:46,975 Yeah, buddy. Your arm. 297 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,476 What's up with my arm? 298 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,061 Oh, do you have the Sympathid in right now? 299 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,855 I don't know, maybe. Is that a problem? 300 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,399 How long have you had it in? 301 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,360 Rick, it's making this, us, the whole thing work. 302 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,404 I got to take a look at it, little guy. 303 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,863 [ Laughing ] Okay? 304 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,490 Oh, Rick, that tickles. Hold still. 305 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:03,950 [ Whirring ] 306 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,744 Aah! Moron! 307 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,247 What the fuck have you done? 308 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,249 You thought you could let an alien parasite feast 309 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,876 on your brain without consequences? 310 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,295 [ Screaming ] 311 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,839 [ Roars ] 312 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,173 Where are we? What's happening?! 313 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,633 [ Growling ] Why is my arm over there? 314 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:21,884 You sympathized with an explosion, 315 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,261 you dumb piece of shit! 316 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,724 Rick: Morty, see that giant brain crab? 317 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,517 That's your fault. Oh, fuck off. 318 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,102 Fuck off? Yeah, Rick. 319 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,021 "Oh, you ruined my morning!" 320 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:37,108 Get over yourself, you dumb dead wife having bitch. 321 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,193 [ Roars ] 322 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:43,239 Okay, your empathy centers have been digested. 323 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,199 You literally can't empathize. 324 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,410 Oh, so I'm you now? Quick, get me a kid 325 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,704 so I can insult the shit out of him. 326 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,831 [ Roaring ] 327 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,419 All right, okay, maybe I leaned a little hard on the shortcut 328 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,087 when I could have just talked to you. 329 00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,214 What difference does it make? Nothing matters. 330 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,050 Yeah, but I try not to be ghoulish, Morty. 331 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,011 And this counts as ghoulish. 332 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,638 You can empathize. You just don't want to. 333 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:08,973 I'm old. I'm allowed to squeeze in 334 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:09,974 some efficiency here and there. 335 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,310 Oh, shit, Morty! 336 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:13,811 Aaah! 337 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,313 [ Grunting ] 338 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,023 [ Roaring ] 339 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,816 [ Screams ] 340 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,485 [ Grunting ] 341 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,279 [ Screams ] 342 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:31,579 [ Thuds ] 343 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,997 [ Grunting ] 344 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,208 Oh, we're gonna die. We're gonna die! 345 00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:37,585 Hey, this is on you for walking up to a scary guy 346 00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,045 and asking for directions. 347 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,171 Oh, that's worse than a victim blaming teen 348 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,464 obsessed with murder drums. 349 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,299 So help me God, if you fuck this up, 350 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,009 I'll start screaming, and he'll come out here. 351 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,345 You're a terrible person. I'm not even here, lady. 352 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,889 And if I'm not here, you're back at the bottom of a well. 353 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,057 Don't even start unpacking this shit 354 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,350 because it's airtight. 355 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,684 You're not even another victim? 356 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,395 You came here on purpose? 357 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:58,898 Your side is low. Lift your side, bitch. 358 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,608 Oh, no, no, no, no. 359 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,361 What the hell? That girl looks just like you. 360 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,155 Yeah. Yeah. Uh, that's my daughter. 361 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,698 Wasn't she in the rug? 362 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,367 Looks like she's alive! 363 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,494 Jesus Christ, you were trying to kill your daughter? 364 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:12,870 That is fucked, man! 365 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,330 [ Sirens wailing ] Oh, thank God. 366 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,082 You called the police? Yeah. 367 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,334 But you're a serial killer. You're crazy. 368 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,586 I thought I was until I met you. 369 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,046 I'm here for the girl. 370 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,507 I'm not letting you touch her, man! 371 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,592 [ Sirens wailing ] 372 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,011 Help! He's gonna kill me! 373 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,139 No, I'm not. I'm a normal guy. 374 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,723 Come out with your hands up. 375 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,101 No normal guy could come up with the stuff that you said! 376 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,520 I'm only here for your drums and to 377 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:40,064 rescue that girl, if I can convince my daughter. 378 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:44,610 So you made me call the police on myself? 379 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,573 Come back here! I'm gonna kill you! 380 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,825 They said the '70s were full of serial killers 381 00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:54,078 because World War II fucked up all their dads. 382 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,746 But you know what I think? 383 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,748 Sir? I think it's in our DNA. 384 00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,333 Uh... I think you and I 385 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,919 are two bad lattes away from getting out the knives. 386 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,754 Um... We're all animals. 387 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,591 Fuck! Fuck! 388 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,968 [ Both screaming ] 389 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:13,431 I wish this tire was my head! 390 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,475 [ Sighs ] 391 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,435 Get the battering ram. 392 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,646 I can't believe it's my fucking birthday. 393 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,648 [ Groans ] 394 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:23,941 I don't feel good. 395 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,234 Okay, we got to get you out of here 396 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,486 and get that thing out of your head. 397 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,321 Fuckin' bug is making me feel 398 00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,240 a lot of feelings, Morty, a lot of feelings. 399 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,242 I know what you want, Morty. 400 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,827 Come here, come here, come here. 401 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,579 Grandpa's got a nice kiss for your forehead. 402 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,830 [ Roaring ] 403 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,207 Grandpa should be giving you hugs, 404 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,125 not turning you into a trash can 405 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,919 when I'm too lazy to walk across the room. 406 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,338 Wait, when was that? Here they come! 407 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,591 [ Growling ] 408 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,636 Oh, no! No, no, no. His juice is coming out. 409 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:55,056 Oh, Morty, we got to put his juice back in. 410 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,266 What are you doing? I got to call his family. 411 00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,143 Rick, this isn't the time! 412 00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:02,438 Mrs. Gorbleflax? I'm sorry. Your husband's dead. 413 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,773 Give me the fucking phone. 414 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,191 He lost all his juice! 415 00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:06,651 [ Growling ] 416 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:07,984 Oh, my God! 417 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,444 We got to make so many phone calls! 418 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,321 Hurry up. I get it, Rick. 419 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,324 I get how frustrating it is to try to get things done 420 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,160 while your sidekick shits the emotional bed. 421 00:17:17,744 --> 00:17:19,413 [ Alarm blaring ] 422 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,833 I got to clean my car. So much broken glass. 423 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,167 Set destination for Earth! 424 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,836 Is that a used syringe on the floor? 425 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,089 What will people think? 426 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,049 [ Phone ringing ] 427 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,676 What's your problem? 428 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,261 Summer: What the hell? What's your problem? 429 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:34,679 Put Grandpa Rick on the phone. 430 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,347 Not now. There's a brain crab in Rick's head 431 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,765 that's making him into a Hallmark movie. 432 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,017 Every piece of paper has an animal locked inside. 433 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,186 Well, Dad's about to be killed by the police so... 434 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,354 We can get another dad. 435 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,981 What? What? 436 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,983 Wow! Look at the stars! We're in space! 437 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,609 Morty, I don't know what the hell is going on. 438 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,236 Get over here now, or I'll make sure 439 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,571 whatever happens next is worse. 440 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:54,323 Fuck! Fine. Set course for Summer. 441 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,080 [ Explosion ] 442 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:03,833 Grandpa Rick, I... 443 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,126 Shh, shh, shh. 444 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,836 You don't need to prove yourself to me. 445 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,963 Grandpa loves you. 446 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,131 What the literal dick? 447 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,841 Told you. Brain crabbed. 448 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,718 He's in there? Yeah. 449 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,845 Housekiller Ram is here, sir. 450 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:20,224 Great. This guy wants a Waco? I'll show him who's God. 451 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,310 Hold on. Let me try. 452 00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,229 Dad, are you still alive? 453 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:27,106 Morty! Help! 454 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,234 I am gonna boil you alive! 455 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,403 Kid, you're not gonna talk him down. 456 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,323 These kind of guys, they got zero empathy. 457 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,158 Right now, neither do I. 458 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,785 Excuse me, Mr. Serial Killer, sir. 459 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,788 Look, I know how you feel. I know everything's nothing. 460 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,707 We live in a world of made up rules, 461 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:47,251 policed by policies that serve no one. 462 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,920 You feel alone, and you don't understand anyone. 463 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:53,424 But that doesn't mean you can't understand yourself. 464 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,594 I know what I need. I need someone to hug me. 465 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,387 Not because they want something from me, 466 00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:00,556 but because they just want to hug me. 467 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:03,184 But the world won't give people like us hugs 468 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,603 unless we tell people what we need. 469 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,272 So if you want a hug, a real one, 470 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,275 then walk out and ask for it. 471 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,695 [ Hammer thuds ] 472 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,323 I want a hug! 473 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,700 [ Gunfire ] 474 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,795 Cop: He's got a knife! 475 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:32,713 Well... 476 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,298 Morty, I'm so proud of you. 477 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:37,635 You did it. And this, sir, is for you. 478 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,053 Happy birthday. 479 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,054 How did you know? 480 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,138 I could just tell. 481 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:42,973 Can I come out, 482 00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:45,017 or are you gonna shoot me, too? 483 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,727 Marlowe: Do you have a knife? 484 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:49,689 I technically have a Swiss Army knife in my pocket. 485 00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:51,399 [ Guns clicking ] 486 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,529 What -- was that the sound of an entire 487 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,989 police force out of bullets? 488 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,283 You always feel like this? 489 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:02,993 Like cut off like this? 490 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:07,498 Yeah. Morty, the truth is, maybe you shouldn't empathize with me. 491 00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:10,501 Putting this thing in your head made you ignore my behavior. 492 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,670 But being cruel is a danger signal, 493 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,965 and you need to heed those red flags so you don't get hurt. 494 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,842 Are you saying you're a piece of shit? 495 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,010 Yeah, I guess so. 496 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,388 I guess that's okay. 497 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,399 I wish I could enjoy this. 498 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,786 [ Roaring ] 499 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,790 [ Belches ] No hard feelings. 500 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:59,383 ♪♪ 501 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:09,143 ♪♪ 502 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:18,903 ♪♪ 503 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,404 ♪♪ 504 00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,740 [ Laughter ] 505 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,283 [ Sobbing ] 506 00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,748 Was that supposed to make me feel better? 507 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,584 A pun! A student slashed my tires. 508 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,378 Another one filled my desk drawer with period blood. 509 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,755 It's gonna be okay. 510 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,508 No, it's not. I make $40,000 a year. 511 00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:42,468 I'd pocket more money if I was in prison. 512 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,762 I see you, I see you. 513 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,014 What the fuck are you talking about? 514 00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:49,683 Did you even see the other side of this drawing? 515 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,560 It's a death threat! Shh. 516 00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:54,021 What are you shushing? 517 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:55,648 Shhhhh. 518 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,610 Did you get any of that?