1
00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:04,211
[ Sighs ] What kind of
parents drag their kids away

2
00:00:04,211 --> 00:00:05,695
for the entire week
of spring break?

3
00:00:05,695 --> 00:00:07,559
I'm missing Mike Triscuit's
drug party.

4
00:00:07,559 --> 00:00:09,319
Look at this.
He's already watching

5
00:00:09,319 --> 00:00:10,389
"Euphoria"
to pregame.

6
00:00:10,389 --> 00:00:12,874
Pregame. Game.
Video game.

7
00:00:12,874 --> 00:00:15,912
Yes, yes, drugs and video games.
Poor babies.

8
00:00:15,912 --> 00:00:19,778
What you need is to level up
with a bong rip of nature.

9
00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:21,538
Trust me,
this is good for you.

10
00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,575
Can someone just kill me?[ Video game beeping ]

11
00:00:23,575 --> 00:00:24,955
Grandpa Rick,
you can kill anything.

12
00:00:24,955 --> 00:00:27,648
No, he can't, Summer.
We're roughing it.

13
00:00:27,648 --> 00:00:29,339
And that means no sci-fi
bullshit.

14
00:00:29,339 --> 00:00:30,892
Isn't that right, Rick?Uh-huh.

15
00:00:30,892 --> 00:00:34,931
[ Cellphone buzzes ]

16
00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:38,590
Rick, was that a sci-fi
phone call?Shut up, Jerry.

17
00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:40,730
Damn it, I didn't think
she had this number.

18
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:43,077
Why are you building a Faraday
box to block out the signal?

19
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,734
Oh, my God, Grandpa's
ghosting someone.

20
00:00:44,734 --> 00:00:46,667
I'm not ghosting.
Hey! Give it back, Summer!

21
00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:48,255
"Rick.
Please answer me.

22
00:00:48,255 --> 00:00:49,566
I'm pregnant"?!

23
00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:52,535
Oh, my God, Grandpa,
you fuck boi.

24
00:00:52,535 --> 00:00:53,915
I'm not a fuck boi
[burps] Summer!

25
00:00:53,915 --> 00:00:55,779
There's no way those kids
are mine.

26
00:00:55,779 --> 00:00:58,334
Wow. At least we know why Rick
actually came on the trip --

27
00:00:58,334 --> 00:00:59,714
to avoid his
fuck-guy problems.

28
00:00:59,714 --> 00:01:01,544
Why would this person lie?I don't know, honey.

29
00:01:01,544 --> 00:01:03,028
She's addicted
to what the Rick did.

30
00:01:03,028 --> 00:01:04,616
You know, it's -- it's --
it's a tale as old

31
00:01:04,616 --> 00:01:06,204
as my huge dynamite penis.

32
00:01:06,204 --> 00:01:07,446
Can we turn the radio on?

33
00:01:07,446 --> 00:01:08,792
I am not letting
you abandon those kids

34
00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,691
like you abandoned me.Oh, my God!

35
00:01:10,691 --> 00:01:13,038
We're going to see
this baby mama right now!

36
00:01:13,038 --> 00:01:14,281
What, like, literally now?

37
00:01:14,281 --> 00:01:16,006
Yes, now!
That's an order.

38
00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:18,250
[ Groans ]

39
00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:19,700
Aah!

40
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,529
No!

41
00:01:21,529 --> 00:01:23,807
This is exactly
what I was talking about!

42
00:01:23,807 --> 00:01:26,051
Rick, I hope you realize
the tubing permit

43
00:01:26,051 --> 00:01:29,054
was non-refundable!Relax, Jerry, we'll be
in and out in a minute,

44
00:01:29,054 --> 00:01:31,401
and then you can get right back
to your dumb vacation

45
00:01:31,401 --> 00:01:33,093
with a family
that doesn't need you.

46
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,303
Kind of expected
someone to defend me,

47
00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:37,925
but, sure, okay.

48
00:01:39,754 --> 00:01:41,308
Hello, Gaia.
Hold on.

49
00:01:41,308 --> 00:01:44,276
Let me just adjust my
Seismic-to-English translator.

50
00:01:44,276 --> 00:01:45,898
Gaia: Rick. You came.

51
00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:48,418
Morty: W-Where is she?Rick: You're looking at her.

52
00:01:48,418 --> 00:01:50,040
I-I-I-I don't understand.

53
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,318
Isn't it obvious, Morty?

54
00:01:51,318 --> 00:01:52,974
I fucked a planet.

55
00:01:54,907 --> 00:02:03,157
♪♪

56
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:11,441
♪♪

57
00:02:11,441 --> 00:02:19,967
♪♪

58
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:27,181
So, what, you just go around
knocking up planets now?

59
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,010
I-I-Is that what you do
when I'm at school?

60
00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:30,978
I'm a scientist, Morty.
I try things.

61
00:02:30,978 --> 00:02:33,498
Sex with a living planet?
Big step for mankind.

62
00:02:33,498 --> 00:02:35,983
Yeah, we finally broke
the deadbeat dad barrier.

63
00:02:35,983 --> 00:02:38,054
Ah, where
the magic happened.Gross.

64
00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:41,437
Rick: Hey, uh, Gaia, baby,
Big Daddy Rick is here.

65
00:02:41,437 --> 00:02:42,817
What's the problem? Children.

66
00:02:42,817 --> 00:02:44,336
Birth cycle. Now.

67
00:02:44,336 --> 00:02:47,788
Okay, gettin' right into it.

68
00:02:47,788 --> 00:02:49,790
-I am! I am!
-Jesus Christ!

69
00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:52,482
-I am!
-I am!
-I am!

70
00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:55,830
Dad, do something!
Make it stop!You think I know
how to stop this?

71
00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:57,936
I thought she was gonna
shit an egg.

72
00:02:59,386 --> 00:03:00,732
Cool vacation, guys.

73
00:03:00,732 --> 00:03:02,078
So happy I got to see
the human geyser

74
00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:03,735
instead of micro-dosing
with my friends.

75
00:03:03,735 --> 00:03:06,186
More coming. Kids.
Need father.

76
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,636
Yeah, um, Baby Quakes,
how big is your orbit again?

77
00:03:08,636 --> 00:03:10,569
I mean, not to say
you get around, but, um...

78
00:03:10,569 --> 00:03:12,053
Are you kidding me?
Look at them!

79
00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:13,123
They look just like you.

80
00:03:13,123 --> 00:03:14,815
Yeah, and snakes
look like dildos, Beth.

81
00:03:14,815 --> 00:03:16,023
What's your point?They do?

82
00:03:16,023 --> 00:03:17,714
The fact is even if they
were mine,

83
00:03:17,714 --> 00:03:20,165
which they're not,
the best parent is evolution.

84
00:03:20,165 --> 00:03:23,099
They'll probably develop harder
skin or maybe even webbed arms.

85
00:03:23,099 --> 00:03:25,170
Man, that'd be cool, huh?
Flying squirrel people?

86
00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,586
Yeah, Dad, that approach
worked out great for me.

87
00:03:27,586 --> 00:03:28,967
Beth, I know it looks bad,
but trust me.

88
00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:30,520
This is life
in the galaxy, okay?

89
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,797
It's totally normal.

90
00:03:32,764 --> 00:03:35,525
Fine.
You won't do something, I will.

91
00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:37,147
Welp, there
goes the surprise!

92
00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:38,942
I was gonna have us jump
on the trampoline

93
00:03:38,942 --> 00:03:40,392
after we caught
our first fish.I am!

94
00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:42,256
What?
You're stupid.I am!

95
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,051
-I am! I am!
-Beth, that's not gonna help.

96
00:03:44,051 --> 00:03:45,708
Uh, I hate to
agree with Rick,

97
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:46,916
but shouldn't
we just let this be?

98
00:03:46,916 --> 00:03:48,400
We're supposed to be
on vacation.

99
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,608
You're unemployed, Jerry!

100
00:03:49,608 --> 00:03:51,127
Every day
is a vacation for you.

101
00:03:51,127 --> 00:03:52,887
Okay, ouch.You guys do
whatever you want.

102
00:03:52,887 --> 00:03:54,441
I'm staying here
and fixing this.

103
00:03:54,441 --> 00:03:56,063
-I am!
-I am!

104
00:03:56,063 --> 00:03:57,513
Goddamn it, Beth,
if you're gonna do it,

105
00:03:57,513 --> 00:03:59,031
at least do it right.

106
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:01,241
Gaia, baby, gonna need
a little raw iron and steam.

107
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,829
Whatever you need, baby.

108
00:04:03,829 --> 00:04:05,072
[ Beep ]

109
00:04:05,072 --> 00:04:10,905
[ Whirring ]

110
00:04:10,905 --> 00:04:12,631
So much for camping.Nope.

111
00:04:12,631 --> 00:04:14,081
We are going camping.

112
00:04:14,081 --> 00:04:16,256
There's trees over there.
We're on solid ground.

113
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,705
Summer and Morty:
Mom!Summer, Morty,

114
00:04:17,705 --> 00:04:18,982
go camp with your father.

115
00:04:18,982 --> 00:04:20,639
Ohh, son of a bitch.Son of a bitch.

116
00:04:20,639 --> 00:04:21,985
-I am!
-I am!
-I am!

117
00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:24,609
Welp, welcome to lack
of abandonment.

118
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,646
Dad, can we please go back

119
00:04:27,646 --> 00:04:29,130
and hang out
with Grandpa's clay people?

120
00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:31,926
Why? Because they might
have a Sega Dreamcast?

121
00:04:31,926 --> 00:04:34,135
Why is it so hard for you two
to let nature in?

122
00:04:34,135 --> 00:04:36,206
Because this sucks ass.
Camping is just

123
00:04:36,206 --> 00:04:37,932
being homeless
without the change.

124
00:04:37,932 --> 00:04:40,107
Well, that attitude is
exactly why we're out here.

125
00:04:40,107 --> 00:04:42,143
You guys wouldn't last
two seconds on your own.

126
00:04:42,143 --> 00:04:43,973
You're only happy when
you're penned in

127
00:04:43,973 --> 00:04:46,976
and drugged up like
some kind of chicken or lemur.

128
00:04:46,976 --> 00:04:49,081
Hey!
I told you kids no phones!

129
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,669
There's not even any service.

130
00:04:50,669 --> 00:04:52,188
Just -- Just let us
be happy for a minute.

131
00:04:52,188 --> 00:04:54,259
You know, maybe if you
two stopped whining

132
00:04:54,259 --> 00:04:56,088
and let your old man
take the reins,

133
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:59,160
you might actually
learn something.

134
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,335
Here.
Take a bite of this tasty treat.

135
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,958
Oh, you think this s'more
makes you special?

136
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:05,857
What? Because someone said,
"good job,"

137
00:05:05,857 --> 00:05:07,203
to you once
when you were 10?

138
00:05:07,203 --> 00:05:09,861
That's actually really sad, dad.
Let's be real.

139
00:05:09,861 --> 00:05:11,345
You've been high-roading us
non-stop,

140
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,967
forcing us to do nothing
in the middle of fucking nowhere

141
00:05:12,967 --> 00:05:14,348
because
it's the only way

142
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:15,832
you're gonna level
the playing field, isn't it?

143
00:05:15,832 --> 00:05:17,938
Because if you move the bar
so low,

144
00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:20,665
you might actually seem like
you're worth a fuck.

145
00:05:20,665 --> 00:05:22,598
Huh.
[ Sniffles ]

146
00:05:22,598 --> 00:05:24,945
I'm gonna go take a walk.

147
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,675
Jesus Christ.
you really need to stop

148
00:05:30,675 --> 00:05:32,159
hanging out with Rick.

149
00:05:32,159 --> 00:05:36,474
♪♪

150
00:05:36,474 --> 00:05:38,683
Okay, so, if we divert
the Lawyer Pipeline here,

151
00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:40,063
they should avoid
the Ethics Tube

152
00:05:40,063 --> 00:05:41,720
and come out spineless enough
to do their job.

153
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,550
Right.
Wait, why are the athletes

154
00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:44,999
going through
the introvert sector?

155
00:05:44,999 --> 00:05:46,622
Obviously so they can bully
the mathematicians

156
00:05:46,622 --> 00:05:49,383
and give us astronomers.God, you are
such a space nerd.

157
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,696
I'm not a nerd. We're raising
a society here, Beth.

158
00:05:51,696 --> 00:05:53,076
If we want them to be
self-sufficient,

159
00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:54,354
they need to get out
into space.

160
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,563
[ Alarms blare ] Birth cycle. Coming.

161
00:05:56,563 --> 00:05:59,220
We got you, Gai-Gai! Shoot 'em
hard and up the middle!

162
00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:11,232
♪♪

163
00:06:11,232 --> 00:06:13,856
[ Bells dinging ]

164
00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:15,409
We got an oversupply
of teachers

165
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,066
putting a strain
on the literary drive.

166
00:06:17,066 --> 00:06:18,688
Activating playwright
converter!

167
00:06:18,688 --> 00:06:20,345
[ Alarms blare ]Aah!

168
00:06:20,345 --> 00:06:22,105
Nice work, honey.
Okay, the therapists

169
00:06:22,105 --> 00:06:23,555
are getting bored.
We need to increase

170
00:06:23,555 --> 00:06:25,833
their supply
of incest porn.20% wasn't enough?

171
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:27,110
[ Alarms blaring ]What the hell is that?

172
00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:28,595
The unproductives.
Goddamn it!

173
00:06:28,595 --> 00:06:30,735
How are there
so many of them?Unproductives?

174
00:06:30,735 --> 00:06:32,771
Yeah, deejays, foodies,
influencers.

175
00:06:32,771 --> 00:06:34,739
I just re-circulate them
through until...

176
00:06:34,739 --> 00:06:37,949
[ Explosion ]Shit, they blew a hole in
the human resources department!

177
00:06:37,949 --> 00:06:42,574
-I'm putting this in your file!
-Downsizing already?
-You're fired!

178
00:06:42,574 --> 00:06:43,782
We gotta fix this, Dad.

179
00:06:43,782 --> 00:06:45,370
We can't keep
recycling them through.

180
00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:47,096
I could add an online
[burps] college workaround.

181
00:06:47,096 --> 00:06:49,063
Or just push them out
through a pipe in the back.

182
00:06:49,063 --> 00:06:50,617
Same thing.
Same thing.

183
00:06:50,617 --> 00:06:53,136
These kids may not be mine,
but you definitely are.

184
00:06:53,136 --> 00:06:55,553
Look at you.
My little steampunk overlord.

185
00:06:55,553 --> 00:06:56,692
Eeee!

186
00:06:56,692 --> 00:06:59,039
I don't think
he's coming back.

187
00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:00,730
You know, you -- you really
messed him up, Summer.

188
00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:02,111
Yeah, well,
he called me a lemur.

189
00:07:02,111 --> 00:07:03,388
Let's just go
find grandpa.

190
00:07:03,388 --> 00:07:05,114
Maybe he can portal us home
or something.

191
00:07:05,114 --> 00:07:06,978
Should we leave a note?Dad is fine.

192
00:07:06,978 --> 00:07:08,324
He's probably
sucking off a tree

193
00:07:08,324 --> 00:07:10,706
and having the time
of his life right now.

194
00:07:12,328 --> 00:07:15,296
Guess you don't want to learn
how to skip rocks, either.

195
00:07:15,296 --> 00:07:16,643
Aah!

196
00:07:16,643 --> 00:07:19,784
Aaah!

197
00:07:19,784 --> 00:07:21,233
Whoa! Whoa!

198
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:24,271
Aah! Aaaaaah!

199
00:07:24,271 --> 00:07:25,617
Ohh!

200
00:07:25,617 --> 00:07:27,550
Aaaaaah!

201
00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:29,069
Gah!

202
00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:30,484
Ohhhh!

203
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,382
Aaah!

204
00:07:32,382 --> 00:07:36,248
Aah!

205
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,906
Aah!

206
00:07:38,906 --> 00:07:44,118
[ Whimpering ]

207
00:07:44,118 --> 00:07:47,674
Aaah!

208
00:07:47,674 --> 00:07:49,123
Ow! Hey!

209
00:07:49,123 --> 00:07:50,815
Aah!

210
00:07:50,815 --> 00:07:53,334
Aaaaah!

211
00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:57,753
Aaaaaaaah!

212
00:07:57,753 --> 00:07:59,479
Ohh!

213
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,584
[ Screaming ]

214
00:08:01,584 --> 00:08:04,518
[ Groans ]

215
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,761
Who are you guys?

216
00:08:05,761 --> 00:08:09,247
We are...
unproductives.

217
00:08:09,247 --> 00:08:10,973
Ahh, I get it.

218
00:08:10,973 --> 00:08:13,009
Bunch of bullshit.

219
00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:18,463
What is that?

220
00:08:18,463 --> 00:08:21,501
This?
This is camping.

221
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,364
Camping?
Ooh!

222
00:08:23,364 --> 00:08:24,814
Camping!

223
00:08:24,814 --> 00:08:27,541
[ All chanting "Camping!" ]

224
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:37,378
♪♪

225
00:08:37,378 --> 00:08:47,181
♪♪

226
00:08:47,181 --> 00:08:56,812
♪♪

227
00:08:56,812 --> 00:08:58,054
Good work there, TickTock.

228
00:08:58,054 --> 00:08:59,746
Keep whittling.
Incredible.

229
00:08:59,746 --> 00:09:02,403
You've almost got smoke
over there, Florflock.

230
00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:03,819
There you go, guys!

231
00:09:03,819 --> 00:09:04,923
Pump those cheeks.

232
00:09:04,923 --> 00:09:06,718
That's the camping spirit.

233
00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:08,133
What the -- Squeeb!

234
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,721
This is not a tent.

235
00:09:09,721 --> 00:09:11,447
It is a new
kind of tent,

236
00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:14,933
with special gutters
to funnel the rain, and a door.

237
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:17,246
It's a house! No houses!

238
00:09:17,246 --> 00:09:19,766
No doors! Once you have doors,
you have indoors.

239
00:09:19,766 --> 00:09:23,563
Once you have indoors,
you won't want to camp anymore.

240
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,738
Then why do they not camp?

241
00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:28,429
Because they're bad.

242
00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:30,570
Bad. Bad. Bad.

243
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,399
[ All chanting "Bad" ]

244
00:09:32,399 --> 00:09:34,712
Oh, my God.
Maybe Dad was right.

245
00:09:34,712 --> 00:09:36,230
Maybe we have
no life skills.

246
00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:38,439
I've definitely drank more pee
than I care to remember.

247
00:09:38,439 --> 00:09:39,958
I'm just gonna sit down.

248
00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:42,685
If I die, don't eat my ass.
That'd be weird.

249
00:09:42,685 --> 00:09:44,514
Uh, Summer?

250
00:09:48,449 --> 00:09:50,141
Damn, you think
they got infected

251
00:09:50,141 --> 00:09:51,556
by a mind slug
or something?

252
00:09:51,556 --> 00:09:53,109
Probably drove through a nebula
that made them

253
00:09:53,109 --> 00:09:55,077
see their own fears.

254
00:09:58,287 --> 00:10:00,600
Whoa!
These controls.

255
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,981
It's just like my video game
controllers.

256
00:10:02,981 --> 00:10:05,846
I just wish I could read
these symbols.

257
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,438
This looks just like
Tricia's bong.

258
00:10:11,438 --> 00:10:13,336
Morty, I think these tubes
might contain

259
00:10:13,336 --> 00:10:15,476
all of their
collective knowledge.

260
00:10:16,477 --> 00:10:20,620
[ Inhaling ]

261
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,001
Mm!
Well?

262
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:24,831
[ Strained ]
I think we got this, bro.

263
00:10:24,831 --> 00:10:26,177
[ Applause ]

264
00:10:26,177 --> 00:10:27,730
Beth,
you wanna do the honors?

265
00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:28,973
What? Really? Wow.

266
00:10:28,973 --> 00:10:32,148
Okay.
Here we go.

267
00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:34,357
If you told me six days ago
I'd be christening

268
00:10:34,357 --> 00:10:36,808
a generation ship for
my half-rock children,

269
00:10:36,808 --> 00:10:38,292
I would've called
you crazy.

270
00:10:38,292 --> 00:10:40,363
But I guess that's the lesson --
crazy things happen

271
00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:43,159
when you put in the work.
Salud!

272
00:10:43,159 --> 00:10:45,368
Fucking Doopnar!
Sing something!

273
00:10:45,368 --> 00:10:47,750
[ Singing angelically ]Great toast, Dad.

274
00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:50,373
Thanks, sweetie.
Damn,
listen to those pipes.

275
00:10:50,373 --> 00:10:52,099
You sure these
kids are yours?

276
00:10:52,099 --> 00:10:53,687
What, you've never heard me
sing karaoke?

277
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,585
I'm -- I'm pretty good when
someone's in my register,

278
00:10:55,585 --> 00:10:57,380
like the guy that sings
"Circle of Life."

279
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,348
Can't remember his name.
Dresses up weird.

280
00:10:59,348 --> 00:11:02,316
[ Laughs ] Look at this.
Everyone's happy.

281
00:11:02,316 --> 00:11:04,111
They're about to go
into space.

282
00:11:04,111 --> 00:11:06,217
I know things haven't always
been great with us,

283
00:11:06,217 --> 00:11:08,460
but we do make
a pretty good team.

284
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,670
Uh, Rick?
Can we talk?

285
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,464
Kinda in the middle of
a breakthrough with my daughter.

286
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,639
Go ahead, Dad.
Gaia deserves some time, too.

287
00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:18,436
They're your kids. Yes, about that.

288
00:11:18,436 --> 00:11:22,060
Pam!
It's good to see you, baby!

289
00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:24,200
Um, Gaia?
You know this guy?

290
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,202
Ha! You call her Gaia?

291
00:11:26,202 --> 00:11:28,066
So lame.Is that...

292
00:11:28,066 --> 00:11:30,172
God? Rick. The kids.

293
00:11:30,172 --> 00:11:32,864
I messed up.
You're not their father.

294
00:11:32,864 --> 00:11:34,832
Little ones!
Daddy's here!

295
00:11:34,832 --> 00:11:36,834
I'm sending some fog down.

296
00:11:36,834 --> 00:11:38,870
Feel my presence
through the fog!

297
00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:41,528
Ooh!Beth! What the fuck?
Don't touch it!

298
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,669
You gotta be kidding me.
God is the father?

299
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:46,360
No hard feelings, okay?

300
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,086
We thought they were yours,
you know,

301
00:11:48,086 --> 00:11:50,157
because they're so small.

302
00:11:50,157 --> 00:11:52,332
Oh, wow. No hard feelings.
Y-You hear that, Beth?

303
00:11:52,332 --> 00:11:54,886
Guy swoops in after we raised
his whole civilization

304
00:11:54,886 --> 00:11:57,820
and tells us he forgives us.
What a fucking mooch!

305
00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:59,684
Don't push me, asshole!

306
00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:01,928
Rick, I think you should go.

307
00:12:01,928 --> 00:12:04,378
Seriously? You really want
this pile of dry ice

308
00:12:04,378 --> 00:12:07,761
to raise your kids?Stop acting like you did
a good job.

309
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,868
You made my kids soft
and empty inside.

310
00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:13,008
This city is a monument
to nothing!

311
00:12:13,008 --> 00:12:14,595
Where is their faith?

312
00:12:14,595 --> 00:12:16,011
Reggie is right.

313
00:12:16,011 --> 00:12:17,875
The children are not ready
to leave.

314
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:21,223
He can give them more.I mean, maybe we should
just bail, Dad.

315
00:12:21,223 --> 00:12:23,743
At least this guy is immortal
and can stick around.

316
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,745
Bullshit. They're my kids!
We're staying!

317
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,298
[ All chanting "Bad!" ]

318
00:12:27,298 --> 00:12:30,059
See? Now, this is the kind
of shit I'm talking about.

319
00:12:30,059 --> 00:12:32,924
[ Chanting continues ]Beth: Jerry! Oh, my God!

320
00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:34,926
Is that you?
What the hell are you doing?

321
00:12:34,926 --> 00:12:37,411
Camping.Oh, look, Jerry finally
found his people.

322
00:12:37,411 --> 00:12:39,310
All it took was
a deep enough drip pan.

323
00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:41,899
You labeled these creatures
"unproductive,"

324
00:12:41,899 --> 00:12:44,142
but I have given them
more purpose than ever.

325
00:12:44,142 --> 00:12:46,213
Oh, yeah? They filing your
unemployment forms?

326
00:12:46,213 --> 00:12:48,422
His tongue is sharp,
but it cannot whittle.

327
00:12:48,422 --> 00:12:50,459
The Great Roughing of
It is at hand.

328
00:12:50,459 --> 00:12:54,083
you will now join the One Family
on its Eternal Getaway.

329
00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:57,707
Or join the embers over which
we hold marshmallows

330
00:12:57,707 --> 00:12:59,261
at just the right distance.

331
00:12:59,261 --> 00:13:02,712
Six inches!
Until it gets golden brown!

332
00:13:02,712 --> 00:13:04,576
Don't let it
start on fire!

333
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:07,027
The carbon
is bad for you!

334
00:13:08,546 --> 00:13:09,892
What's happening?

335
00:13:09,892 --> 00:13:12,274
God: My children,
I give you my power.

336
00:13:12,274 --> 00:13:14,414
Use it to take what is yours.

337
00:13:14,414 --> 00:13:17,003
Oh, this motherfucker.
Raise the walls!

338
00:13:17,003 --> 00:13:20,075
[ Whirring ]

339
00:13:20,075 --> 00:13:23,078
Walls can't stop us, Rick.
We are chosen.

340
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:25,252
Sha-boom-boom!

341
00:13:25,252 --> 00:13:26,495
Sorry! Sorry!

342
00:13:26,495 --> 00:13:28,152
Just trying to get
the hang of this thing.

343
00:13:28,152 --> 00:13:30,361
Nice choice of chosen people,
G-diddles.

344
00:13:30,361 --> 00:13:32,328
I guess you'll be playing
the "mysterious ways" card

345
00:13:32,328 --> 00:13:34,123
on that one.You wanna go, bro?

346
00:13:34,123 --> 00:13:36,954
I'll kick your ass myself.Oh, dude,
don't tempt me.

347
00:13:36,954 --> 00:13:38,748
When I'm done with you,
you'll need a staff

348
00:13:38,748 --> 00:13:40,267
to un-part
your fucking face.

349
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:43,236
Guys. Please.
Not in front of the kids.

350
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,687
Did you for real
just try to smite me?

351
00:13:46,687 --> 00:13:49,759
Siri, triangulate source
of power.

352
00:13:49,759 --> 00:13:51,278
Got you now,
you son of a bitch.

353
00:13:51,278 --> 00:13:52,762
Sweetie,
you handle the hippies.

354
00:13:52,762 --> 00:13:54,109
I'll handle
the off-brand Yahweh.

355
00:13:54,109 --> 00:13:57,250
Kick his ass, Dad!Bear witness.

356
00:13:57,250 --> 00:14:02,600
♪♪

357
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,223
Now you see my true form.

358
00:14:05,223 --> 00:14:09,124
The clouds were simply a shape
more appealing to Gaia's mind.

359
00:14:09,124 --> 00:14:11,229
No shit. Any form is more
appealing than this.

360
00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:13,162
You look like
Kid Rock fucked Zeus.

361
00:14:13,162 --> 00:14:15,199
Oh, seriously, you expect me
to fight you like this?

362
00:14:15,199 --> 00:14:17,546
You're the size of
four Empire State Buildings.

363
00:14:17,546 --> 00:14:19,859
Alright, motherfucker.

364
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,689
Let's go.
[ Yells ]

365
00:14:22,689 --> 00:14:25,726
[ Blows landing ]

366
00:14:25,726 --> 00:14:32,354
[ Both grunting and groaning ]

367
00:14:33,838 --> 00:14:36,806
[ Electricity crackles ]

368
00:14:36,806 --> 00:14:40,051
Aaah! Aah!

369
00:14:41,156 --> 00:14:42,709
Ha-ha!
You like that?

370
00:14:42,709 --> 00:14:45,229
Ohh!Here comes some pain!

371
00:14:45,229 --> 00:14:47,852
Ohh!

372
00:14:47,852 --> 00:14:58,828
[ Blows landing, both grunting ]

373
00:14:58,828 --> 00:15:02,211
Ow!

374
00:15:02,211 --> 00:15:04,144
Ow!

375
00:15:07,113 --> 00:15:11,427
And...
that last one should be...

376
00:15:11,427 --> 00:15:13,015
the start button.

377
00:15:13,015 --> 00:15:14,430
Perfect.
I guess we're ready.

378
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,674
Let's show Mom and Dad
what video games

379
00:15:16,674 --> 00:15:18,779
and partying are all about.

380
00:15:18,779 --> 00:15:24,544
[ Whirring ]

381
00:15:26,373 --> 00:15:28,858
Jesus Christ,
was that the wings?

382
00:15:28,858 --> 00:15:30,274
[ Both screaming ]

383
00:15:30,274 --> 00:15:32,138
This is not like
a video game!

384
00:15:32,138 --> 00:15:33,967
Oh, my God, make it stop!
Make it stop!

385
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:37,626
How do I make it stop?!I don't know.
I'm fucking high!

386
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:39,697
Aah!

387
00:15:39,697 --> 00:15:41,078
[ Coughs ]

388
00:15:41,078 --> 00:15:43,425
Oh, God,
now I'm high, too!

389
00:15:43,425 --> 00:15:45,116
[ Both scream ]

390
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:49,569
Jerry, that's enough.Oh, hey, babe.

391
00:15:49,569 --> 00:15:52,434
You like these plagues
I'm unleashing on your asses?

392
00:15:52,434 --> 00:15:54,401
No, they're lame.
It's not a great sign

393
00:15:54,401 --> 00:15:56,645
that your army's
on the same side as disease.

394
00:15:56,645 --> 00:16:00,097
Sorry we aren't modern enough
to sort people by value

395
00:16:00,097 --> 00:16:03,031
and shit the losers
through a mean butt tube!

396
00:16:04,687 --> 00:16:08,139
Just admit this is about you
wanting to feel needed!

397
00:16:08,139 --> 00:16:10,245
Says the woman who sold out
her family

398
00:16:10,245 --> 00:16:12,626
for an ounce of approval
from her drunk father!

399
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:14,594
Well, maybe he drinks
because it isn't easy

400
00:16:14,594 --> 00:16:17,183
to be more powerful
than God.Well, if it's god power

401
00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:18,874
that gets you going,
light some candles

402
00:16:18,874 --> 00:16:21,911
and put on the Billy Ocean
because Moses is home

403
00:16:21,911 --> 00:16:24,086
and he's ready
to burn some bush!

404
00:16:24,086 --> 00:16:25,950
Sha-boom-boom!

405
00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:27,572
[ Grunting ]

406
00:16:27,572 --> 00:16:29,264
Ohh!
Fuck! Ow!

407
00:16:29,264 --> 00:16:31,024
Alright, alright, stop.

408
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,922
Come on, bitch!Look, you win, okay?

409
00:16:32,922 --> 00:16:34,372
Ju-- I don't care
about the kids.

410
00:16:34,372 --> 00:16:36,202
Smite them, raise them
to fuck sheep.

411
00:16:36,202 --> 00:16:37,720
Just keep the city, okay?

412
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,170
My daughter and I
built that thing.

413
00:16:39,170 --> 00:16:41,862
It's important to her.No, bro. I'm a Zeus.

414
00:16:41,862 --> 00:16:43,899
I can literally do anything.

415
00:16:43,899 --> 00:16:46,660
Think I'm gonna hang around
and raise kids?

416
00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:50,940
The only lesson they need
is right here -- fear.

417
00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:53,460
And it looks like
school's out, bitch.

418
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:55,635
I-I think you mean
school's in.
What are --

419
00:16:55,635 --> 00:16:57,637
What are you talking about?I-If you're teaching fear,

420
00:16:57,637 --> 00:17:00,605
then choking me --
school would be in.
Fine.

421
00:17:00,605 --> 00:17:02,538
School's in, bitch.

422
00:17:03,505 --> 00:17:04,885
Oh. [ Coughs ]

423
00:17:04,885 --> 00:17:07,095
What the fuck?

424
00:17:12,341 --> 00:17:14,688
Ohh! Are we dead?
D-Did we die?

425
00:17:14,688 --> 00:17:16,173
I don't ever want to be
high again.

426
00:17:16,173 --> 00:17:17,415
I-I got scared straight.

427
00:17:17,415 --> 00:17:18,968
Oh, my God, I got scared
straight.

428
00:17:18,968 --> 00:17:20,315
Fuck. Dad was right.

429
00:17:20,315 --> 00:17:21,488
We -- We think
we know everything,

430
00:17:21,488 --> 00:17:23,352
but maybe we're the ones
who suck.

431
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:26,838
You kids
are my fucking heroes!

432
00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:28,875
You saved Grandpa's life!
I fucking love you so much!

433
00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:30,359
Papa!
Papa!

434
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,085
We played video games
and got high! We did wrong!

435
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,949
We did wrong!Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, little boopas.

436
00:17:33,949 --> 00:17:37,159
Come on, now. You kids,
you did real good here.

437
00:17:37,159 --> 00:17:38,540
You did good.
Getting high

438
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:40,024
and playing video games
is the best,

439
00:17:40,024 --> 00:17:41,543
I swear to fucking God.But mom and dad

440
00:17:41,543 --> 00:17:43,338
are gonna be mad.No, hey, hey, look, no.

441
00:17:43,338 --> 00:17:45,857
Fuck your mom and dad.
Your parents are a bag of dicks.

442
00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,997
Getting high and playing
video games is the best,

443
00:17:47,997 --> 00:17:49,792
and I will never
sell you out, ever.

444
00:17:49,792 --> 00:17:51,518
Now, we got to get out of here
before this guy

445
00:17:51,518 --> 00:17:53,451
falls out of the sky.
He's generating an ionic cloud

446
00:17:53,451 --> 00:17:55,419
from his own belief system.
Holy shit, Summer,

447
00:17:55,419 --> 00:17:57,283
were you smoking this?
You were basically

448
00:17:57,283 --> 00:17:59,388
inhaling brake fluid.
Jesus!

449
00:18:01,735 --> 00:18:03,047
Mm, yeah.

450
00:18:03,047 --> 00:18:05,670
[ Whirring ]

451
00:18:08,466 --> 00:18:11,193
It's over, Beth. Tell your
people to lower the gates

452
00:18:11,193 --> 00:18:13,092
and pack
their moisture-wicking shirts.

453
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,955
Incoming!

454
00:18:14,955 --> 00:18:21,755
♪♪

455
00:18:21,755 --> 00:18:23,274
[ Coughs ]Beth: Jerry!

456
00:18:23,274 --> 00:18:25,690
Beth!
Just hold on!

457
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,416
I'm losing my grip!

458
00:18:29,384 --> 00:18:30,868
Jerry.
Squeeb?

459
00:18:30,868 --> 00:18:34,389
Use the s'more, Jerry.

460
00:18:34,389 --> 00:18:35,700
Ow!
You stabbed my hand!

461
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:36,908
Sorry! Sorry!

462
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:39,980
[ Groans ]

463
00:18:39,980 --> 00:18:41,741
Should --
Should we make love?

464
00:18:41,741 --> 00:18:43,777
Jerry, I love you,
but I can literally

465
00:18:43,777 --> 00:18:45,952
smell your balls from here.Oh, wow.

466
00:18:45,952 --> 00:18:49,058
Ask God for a flood next time.
It'll come with a shower.

467
00:18:49,058 --> 00:18:51,130
Noted.

468
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,786
Aw, geez,
that -- that poor guy.

469
00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:54,409
Can you maybe not tell
Mom and Dad?

470
00:18:54,409 --> 00:18:56,825
Relax, it's just a Zeus.
If this was the real God, it--

471
00:18:56,825 --> 00:18:59,448
it'd be a completely
different story.

472
00:18:59,448 --> 00:19:02,106
Gaia:
Rick! What did you do?!

473
00:19:02,106 --> 00:19:03,521
I mean,
gravity did most of it.

474
00:19:03,521 --> 00:19:06,662
So, you, technically.I told you to leave!

475
00:19:06,662 --> 00:19:08,699
Yeah, well, you also asked me
to raise your kids.

476
00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:11,115
Uh, not sure if you heard
the phrase, "pick a lane,"

477
00:19:11,115 --> 00:19:12,806
but --You killed their father!

478
00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:14,808
Father or not, he was
a lying piece of shit.

479
00:19:14,808 --> 00:19:16,672
I don't care who else
stuffed your crust,

480
00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:18,329
but I'm the guy
that showed up.

481
00:19:18,329 --> 00:19:20,538
But I mean, if you want,
I can still power-wash his guts

482
00:19:20,538 --> 00:19:23,265
off the tower
and maybe --Get oooout!

483
00:19:23,265 --> 00:19:24,646
Okay, yeah, she's pissed.

484
00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:26,475
I mean, you killed her
slam piece, Grandpa.

485
00:19:26,475 --> 00:19:28,167
I don't blame her.

486
00:19:29,513 --> 00:19:41,076
♪♪

487
00:19:41,076 --> 00:19:44,976
See? you put the fire stick
to the wood, and, voilà!

488
00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:47,634
Campfire.You have known about this
the whole time?

489
00:19:47,634 --> 00:19:49,567
I'm not gonna waste my time
building you an ark,

490
00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:52,156
but if your mom gets clingy, you
can use this to get some space.

491
00:19:52,156 --> 00:19:54,710
Is that all you want to say to
your children before you leave?

492
00:19:54,710 --> 00:19:57,610
Oh, yeah, uh,
don't ask me for money.

493
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:02,339
I mean, Gaia's not gonna
raise those guys

494
00:20:02,339 --> 00:20:04,064
to hunt us down, right?

495
00:20:04,064 --> 00:20:06,308
Oh, most definitely.
I put a tracker on their ship.

496
00:20:06,308 --> 00:20:07,999
I'll blow it up if they come
anywhere near me.

497
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,381
Well, kids, never thought
I'd say this, but,

498
00:20:10,381 --> 00:20:12,072
Summer, you were right.Wait, what?

499
00:20:12,072 --> 00:20:14,420
I thought I wanted
to teach you guys about tents,

500
00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:16,560
but really,
I just wanted to feel important.

501
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,113
I guess sometimes teenagers
do know

502
00:20:18,113 --> 00:20:20,288
what they're talking about,
even if it's mean.

503
00:20:20,288 --> 00:20:23,498
Right, but didn't you, like,
go into god-mode and fight mom?

504
00:20:23,498 --> 00:20:25,672
Love is the only power
that matters, Morty.

505
00:20:25,672 --> 00:20:28,088
No, you had actual power,
and you did jack shit.

506
00:20:28,088 --> 00:20:29,538
That was a divine staff.

507
00:20:29,538 --> 00:20:31,126
You could've cured cancer
or raised the dead.

508
00:20:31,126 --> 00:20:33,715
Instead you made bugs.Well,
I was impressed, Dad.

509
00:20:33,715 --> 00:20:36,545
He saved my life,
no thanks to you.

510
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,135
Your kids got high
on alien mist

511
00:20:40,135 --> 00:20:41,792
and drove the ship
into that Zeus guy's head.

512
00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:43,276
Basically murdered him.Grandpa!

513
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,553
What the hell?!Come on!What? You did.

514
00:20:44,553 --> 00:20:46,210
I mean, not to cast
the first stone,

515
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:48,350
but, Beth and Jerry, pretty
terrible parenting on your part.

516
00:20:48,350 --> 00:20:50,076
Did you know Summer huffed
a K-Zax Array?

517
00:20:50,076 --> 00:20:51,526
She basically
smoked "The Ring."

518
00:20:51,526 --> 00:20:52,941
Most pilots die
after three days.

519
00:20:52,941 --> 00:20:54,598
And Morty, the fucking moron,
he thought

520
00:20:54,598 --> 00:20:56,531
the ship worked
like a game controller.

521
00:20:56,531 --> 00:20:58,360
What in the Disney Channel fuck
is that?

522
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,051
Maybe help him with
homework next time.

523
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,053
He's clearly
crying for help.

524
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:12,374
♪♪

525
00:21:12,374 --> 00:21:22,867
♪♪

526
00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:32,946
♪♪

527
00:21:32,946 --> 00:21:36,260
Announcer: Planets Only.
Planets Only. Planets Only.

528
00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:39,505
Entire systems of steamy,
lush globes

529
00:21:39,505 --> 00:21:42,093
and barely habitable
celestial objects

530
00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:44,682
are drifting through
the void just for you.

531
00:21:44,682 --> 00:21:46,788
Planets Only.
-Let's terraform.

532
00:21:46,788 --> 00:21:49,687
Or colonize me as I am.
-Planets Only.

533
00:21:49,687 --> 00:21:52,241
Oops, there's a hole
in my ozone.

534
00:21:52,241 --> 00:21:53,933
I didn't put it there.
Did you?

535
00:21:53,933 --> 00:21:57,488
I can't fill it by myself.
I'm not smart enough.

536
00:21:57,488 --> 00:22:00,111
Young, dumb,
and orbiting the sun.

537
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:03,149
The greenhouse is in full effect
at Planets Only.

538
00:22:03,149 --> 00:22:06,255
Oh, I want you to split my
Pangea into distinct continents.

539
00:22:06,255 --> 00:22:08,810
I don't have hydrostatic
equilibrium yet.

540
00:22:08,810 --> 00:22:10,812
Is that something
you can learn?

541
00:22:10,812 --> 00:22:13,470
Announcer:
You get the idea.

542
00:22:13,470 --> 00:22:16,611
Phew!I was watching over your
shoulder for a full minute.

543
00:22:16,611 --> 00:22:17,957
So? I was watching because
it's funny.

544
00:22:17,957 --> 00:22:19,510
It's -- It's -- They-- They--
They're planets,

545
00:22:19,510 --> 00:22:21,443
but they're sexy.
It's a comedic premise.

546
00:22:21,443 --> 00:22:24,446
Yeah. Planets Only.

547
00:22:24,446 --> 00:22:25,999
Planets Only.