00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,428 Jerry! Jerry, come on! 2 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,005 We got to go! You got to come with me, Jerry! 3 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,431 Rick? It's important, Jerry. 4 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,333 The fate of the galaxy rests on your shoulders. 5 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,834 Let's go. Put some pants on. 6 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,679 N-Never mind, there's no time for pants, Jerry. 7 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,247 I'll make you a pair of pants on the way. 8 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:39,173 It's a Rick and Jerry adventure! 9 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:40,941 Rick and Jerry episode! 10 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,376 Then I thought, "Hey, what about Jerry? 11 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,245 He's... He's good with regular folk." 12 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,480 This is a real situation where... where... 13 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,081 Where Jerry could really shine. 14 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,650 "He's a master convincer." 15 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,153 Rick, I'm not an idiot. I know what this is. 16 00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:26,787 Oh. Okay, well, I told Morty, 17 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,123 "Look, parents get divorced. They get sad. He'll be fine," 18 00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:31,992 but I think he's worried you're gonna, you know... Pbht! 19 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,470 And you know how Morty gets when he gets emotional. 20 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,995 It impedes my work. 21 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,840 So, I told him I'd take you out and give you a win. 22 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,466 Wait. My son asked you to take me 23 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,334 on some kind of pity adventure 24 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:41,835 to keep me from killing myself? 25 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,304 Wait, w-what did you think it was? 26 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,838 An execution. 27 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,974 Geez! You really do need a win. 28 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,442 No! I-I don't know. 29 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,019 I mean, you never made me the pants, so... 30 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,579 So, you thought I was gonna drive you 31 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,746 into the middle of the galaxy 32 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,191 and shove you into the vacuum of space 33 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:55,449 with your dick hanging out? 34 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,626 And we're seeing how you'd act 35 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:57,985 if that were about to happen? 36 00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,696 I mean shit I'll make you the pants right now. 37 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,097 Take me two seconds to make you pants. 38 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,666 I have pants at home! Jerry, if I make pants, 39 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,301 they'll be better than your pants at home. 40 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,593 Also, if I wanted to kill you... 41 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,295 Yeah, I get it. It would be amazing. 42 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,596 Please, take me home. 43 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,207 I'll tell my son we had an amazing adventure. 44 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,499 Well, if it's all the same, 45 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:12,709 could we go get our story straight? 46 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,368 Because you're a terrible liar. 47 00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:15,936 You called me a master convincer! 48 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,371 You believed me? 49 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,545 Huh. This seems... kind of fancy. 50 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,290 Jerry, for all you know, this is the equivalent 51 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:27,548 of an alien truck stop. 52 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,849 You have no frame of reference. 53 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,394 You're in a universe beyond your imagining. 54 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,453 But, yes, it is super fancy. 55 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,997 I mean, my job here is to make Morty happy. 56 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,889 I'm not gonna take you somewhere dangerous. 57 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,058 Rick Sanchez. 58 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,361 I told you if I ever saw your face in here again, 59 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,905 I would stick you like the pig you are. 60 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:45,165 Shnoopy Bloopers, I told you if you tried... 61 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,835 There'd be two funerals. 62 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,803 Aaah!! 63 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,306 Someone? 64 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:55,209 Uh, someone? Someone! 65 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,748 My friend! It has been too long. 66 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,350 Oh, it's great to see you again, buddy! 67 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:04,585 Yeah, you're doing it. 68 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,420 Mr. Sanchez gets anything he wants! 69 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,422 The resort's covered in an immortality field. 70 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,190 You can't die here. That's the gimmick. 71 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,496 Okay, but still... Bad parenting. 72 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,265 Hey, rich a-holes are rich a-holes. 73 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,699 They all pay top dollar to come here 74 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,568 and enjoy a consequence-free vacation. 75 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,270 No death, no disease, no dismemberment. 76 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,614 Can't even have a heart attack. 77 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,073 Got it. The perfect place 78 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,751 to take the most fragile being in the universe. 79 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,510 I can tell you expect me to refute that, 80 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,711 but it's right on the money. 81 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:31,945 If I come home without you, 82 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,681 I doubt Morty's gonna let me off the hook. 83 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,625 Yeah, but what if you came home with Jeff Goldblum. 84 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:36,917 Jeff Goldblum? 85 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,362 What the fuck are you talking about, Jerry? 86 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:40,120 Jesus! 87 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,722 Holy fucking shit! 88 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,257 Yo, what's up, "Big Chill"?! 89 00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:44,925 Don't go into the telepod! 90 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,971 Hey, maybe we would have fun on a fake adventure. 91 00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,730 On a fake adventure. 92 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,565 Speaking of... What are we gonna tell Morty? 93 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,066 I don't know. But whatever it is, 94 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,403 we're gonna need a couple more of these babies! 95 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,373 What's wrong? 96 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,409 Mom, do you think I'm hot? 97 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:05,078 I... don't think that's something that matters. 98 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,314 So, I'm not hot?! 99 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,749 I'm saying the part of you that cares about that 100 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,551 is a part you shouldn't give any energy to. 101 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,919 That's not an answer! 102 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,721 Because I'm not an issue of Cosmo, okay? 103 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,222 I'm your mother and a doctor, and... 104 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,557 I'm hideous! 105 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,226 Geez. What's with her? 106 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,661 Teenage-girl stuff. 107 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,831 Is that a... hoof collage? 108 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:27,100 It's perfectly legal, if that's what you're wondering. 109 00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,737 Cool... zies. 110 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,606 "We just don't have anything in common any more, Summer." 111 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,007 Oh, yeah, Ethan? 112 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,976 What do you have in common with Tricia Lange? 113 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,845 A mutual love of French cinema? 114 00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,313 The belief that a carbon tax 115 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:42,182 is the only viable solution to climate change? 116 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:45,486 Or could it be her massive stripper titties?! 117 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,455 There it is. 118 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,190 Boob-ya! 119 00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,092 And that's when Malakai the Squid came, 120 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:57,465 rips off his face, and beneath it is my face. 121 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,667 I liked it. Thank you, sir. 122 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,210 Yeah, of course he likes it. Look at him. 123 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,471 Motherfucker got two heads and three trunks. 124 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,681 All right, we'll put a pin in it. 125 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,039 I'm gonna go take a leak. 126 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,016 What the...?! 127 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,124 My hands are dry! My hands are dry! 128 00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,229 My name is Risotto Groupon. 129 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,865 I am the assistant general manager of the restaurant. 130 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,534 Do you have any comment cards, 131 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,968 because I might have some thoughts. 132 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,805 My kingdom was usurped by force 133 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,139 with weapons and technology 134 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,874 supplied by your father-in-law! 135 00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:43,243 Hey, he usurped my kingdom, too, man. 136 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,046 He basically got me kicked out of my home, stole my family. 137 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:48,315 Then we are brothers, and you have wondered 138 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,584 what your life could have been without Rick. 139 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,852 Wondered? Sure. 140 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,887 I mean, I've wondered about having a vagina. 141 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,255 Would you help me kill him? 142 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,590 What? No! 143 00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:58,426 He's my wife's father. Move on. 144 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,494 Do you... like theme-park rides? 145 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,162 Oh, you really moved on. 146 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:06,233 There is a popular attraction here called the Whirly Dirly. 147 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,002 Between the first whirly and the third dirly, 148 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:12,105 the ride dips just outside the immortality field. 149 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,274 You're asking me to lure Rick to his death? 150 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:17,177 I'm only asking you to go on a ride with Rick, 151 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,380 get off the ride without Rick, and go home to your family, 152 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,716 where you can... wonder about having a vagina. 153 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,618 Okay, okay, that was a very specific example 154 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:25,919 pulled from thin air. 155 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,296 I don't want to be known as the vagina guy. 156 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,723 Risotto, you're needed. Someone ordered 157 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:32,059 the Nuzzy Guzzy Fresh and Fluzzy Special. 158 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,795 Look, I'm not like Rick, 159 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:37,064 so you're free to do as you please. 160 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,099 But there comes a time in every man's life 161 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,068 when he must choose the foundation 162 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,136 on which his legacy will be built... 163 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:46,640 One of compromise or one of blood. 164 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:53,180 ♪ Once a time of year, there's a special person here ♪ 165 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,890 Oh, yeah. 166 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,092 That's what I'm talking about. 167 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:09,162 Oops! Okay, a little more on the other side then. 168 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,498 Oh, come on! 169 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,399 Oh, geez! 170 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,067 Aah! Stop! 171 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:17,104 So, the hospital just let you walk right out of there 172 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,506 with horse parts in a bag? 173 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:19,673 For Christ's sakes, Morty, 174 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:20,784 women going through a divorce 175 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:21,942 need a creative outlet. 176 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,511 What was that? 177 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,147 Summer! 178 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,051 I'm coming, Summer! 179 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,187 What the hell happened?! 180 00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,326 How do we get her back to normal?! 181 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,795 I don't know, man! This thing is pretty complicated. 182 00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,196 I-I'm gonna call Rick. 183 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:45,165 Well, hold on. We can't just call your grandpa 184 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,634 whenever there's a problem. 185 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,201 We can handle this ourselves. 186 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,137 I mean, I don't see the point in trying to. 187 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,039 This is obviously Rick-level shit. 188 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,707 I have a medical degree. 189 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,142 Is that what this is about? 190 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,677 L-Like, you want to prove yourself? 191 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,846 Oh, it's not about anything, Morty. How dare you? 192 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,380 Okay, good. Then I'll just call... Ow! 193 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:02,215 Morty, I need this. 194 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,394 Hey, Jerry, triple trunks here says he knows a place 195 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,688 where the ladies drop panties for anyone bi-pedal. 196 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:08,961 Yeah, I'm not really interested. 197 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,724 My heart still belongs to Beth. 198 00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,225 Oh. Huh. Okay. 199 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,228 What, you don't think I have a shot? 200 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,329 I didn't say that. 201 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,465 Excuse me. May I have another one of these? 202 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,033 Coming right up. 203 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,870 Hmm, things weren't always so bad between Beth and me. 204 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,638 We had some good times when we were younger. 205 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,039 Oh, yeah, I bet. 206 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,717 That's how teenage pregnancy happens, my friend. 207 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,242 Yeah, no. 208 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,679 Things were pretty great, even until a couple of years ago. 209 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,013 Jerry, I get it. 210 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,658 That's around the time I moved in with you guys. 211 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:35,983 Oh, I guess you're right. 212 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,527 Jerry, you know, I hope you're not suggesting 213 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,428 that I had anything to do with your marriage breaking up, 214 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:42,222 because there are some major issues between you and Beth 215 00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,224 that have been there since you guys met. 216 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,696 Hey, to new beginnings. 217 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,397 To the Whirly Dirly. 218 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,932 The Whirly Dirly? 219 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,434 All right, what's going on here? 220 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,269 When did you get cool?! 221 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:58,839 When you stole my wife! 222 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,049 I should have done that a long time ago! 223 00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,842 We're going on the Whirly Dirly! 224 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,410 Whirly Dirly, baby. 225 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,213 Aha, look at this. 226 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,581 It says "normalize." 227 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,049 I bet if we just press that... 228 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,084 But... if the machine was made by spider people, 229 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,920 normal would mean eight legs. 230 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,888 Oh, God! Are you gonna go on another spiel 231 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,790 like you did with the flesh-colored crayon? 232 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:19,226 I'm pretty sure "normalize" will make her normal. 233 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,930 Aah! 234 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,898 I'd call that progress. 235 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,399 She's huge! And normal! 236 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,035 I'm not normal! 237 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,136 Mom! 238 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,313 Okay, this says "reverse." Done and done. 239 00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,072 I don't think that's a good idea. 240 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,185 Oh, come on! What else could "reverse" possibly mean? 241 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,710 Aah! 242 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:38,746 Mom, call Rick! 243 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,147 Thank you. 244 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,725 There's a customer-service number on here. 245 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:42,950 Mom! 246 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,289 Oh, man. This is gonna be awesome! 247 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,959 I got to hand it to you, Jerry. This was a solid idea. 248 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,160 Uh, yeah. Uh-huh. 249 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,162 And you know what? I'll cop to it. 250 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,730 I put a lot of strain on your marriage. 251 00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:58,498 It wasn't fair. I'm sorry. 252 00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,433 What?! I didn't respect your marriage. 253 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,969 I certainly didn't do it any favors. 254 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,436 And for what it's worth, 255 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,605 I'll apologize to Beth for it when we get home. 256 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,841 Whoo! Whirly Dirly! Yeah! 257 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:09,176 Stop the ride! We got to get off. 258 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,644 What are you talking about, buddy? 259 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,188 We got to get out of this thing. We got to get out! 260 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,414 Jerry, come on, man! 261 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,959 We haven't even gotten to the first whirly. 262 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,251 No, no, this sucks. It's so boring. 263 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,820 I mean, I'm falling asleep here. 264 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,573 Let's just get out and crawl down the sides. 265 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,365 Uh, get down! Duck down! 266 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:33,867 It's more fun when you scrunch down. 267 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,969 Jerry, what the... 268 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:38,471 Oh shit! 269 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,389 Rick, up here! There's a spot where you can kill him! 270 00:10:56,423 --> 00:11:00,127 Good call, Jerry! 271 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,661 Hey, how'd you know about that? 272 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:02,996 Uh... 273 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,580 Lisa? 274 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:31,058 So, uh, Jerry, big fan of the Whirly Dirly, are you? 275 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,226 Not anymore. Obviously. 276 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:36,063 But when you were, how did you know about it? 277 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:42,903 We had a deal, Jerry Smith. 278 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,941 It's a really common name. 279 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,044 Now, take it easy, Rick. 280 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,688 You've been in a serious roller-coaster crash. 281 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,290 It's... It's no time to be thinking about 282 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,784 who did or didn't play a role in your attempted murder. 283 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,518 Get it off me! 284 00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,853 It's eating me! 285 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,388 Look, I confess, okay? 286 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,032 They told me about all the bad stuff you did to this planet 287 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,092 and reminded me of all the bad stuff you did to me. 288 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,702 But then you said you were sorry, and I realized 289 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,071 you're not a monster... Not like this thing. 290 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,863 Fuck It's got me good. 291 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,098 This is a mislead, right? 292 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,900 You're inventing a thing to save me. 293 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,310 That would be called a knife, Jerry. 294 00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:15,769 It's been invented. 295 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:17,646 I'm making a way out of here... One seat ought to do it. 296 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,139 I'm sorry. I-I made a mistake. 297 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,708 I won't do it again! Nobody ever does. 298 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,779 You self-righteous piece of shit. 299 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,380 You took my family! 300 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,782 I took your family? 301 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,326 Who do you think had more taken from them 302 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,584 when you shot 20 ccs 303 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,453 of liquid dream-killer into my daughter? 304 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:36,323 She was Rick's daughter, Jerry. She had options! 305 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,724 Oof. 306 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,726 That all ended because she felt sorry for you. 307 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,895 You act like prey, but you're a predator! 308 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,596 You use pity to lure in your victims! 309 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:44,932 That's how you survive! 310 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,275 I survive because I know everything. 311 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,301 That snakes survives because children wander off, 312 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,937 and you survive because people think, 313 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,572 "Oh, this poor piece of shit. He never gets a break." 314 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,441 I can't stand the deafening silent wails 315 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:55,809 of his wilting soul. 316 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,444 "I guess I'll hire him or marry him." 317 00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:01,014 - Rick! - Rick! 318 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,088 I knew you wouldn't let me die. 319 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,489 That was never an option. 320 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:10,958 Because you never had a son. 321 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,592 No, because I need a living organism 322 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,462 coated in gibble snake bile to attract a shmooglite runner. 323 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,530 Wait, what's happening? Use that confusion, Jerry. 324 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,767 It'll make you wriggle more like an abandoned newborn. 325 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,770 Jesus Christ! 326 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,773 What the fuck Rick?! 327 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,276 Help! Help me! 328 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,079 Aaah! 329 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,956 There's a space port 20 miles south. 330 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,992 We'll be able to board a galaxy class cruise ship 331 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,402 and jump through a wormhole that will put us 332 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,962 within spitting distance of the Milky Way. 333 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,363 But, hey, it's about the journey, 334 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,465 not the destination, right, Jerry? 335 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,571 Just stay put, sweetie! Mom's still on hold. 336 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,640 Morphizer customer service. How may I help you? 337 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,986 Yes, I'm having a little trouble with one of your machines. 338 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,644 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am. 339 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,480 Do you see a little compartment on the side of the machine? 340 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,049 Let me check. Yes, got it. 341 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,383 Mom? 342 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,986 Great! Now, do you see the little button next to it? 343 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,888 I do. Give that button a push. 344 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,556 Okay. Mom, listen to me! 345 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,858 We're free!! 346 00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:21,728 Okay, so I pushed the button, and three little men ran out. 347 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,596 What do I do next? 348 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:24,998 Hello? 349 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,166 I think we got disconnected. 350 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,267 Morty! 351 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,435 Don't "Morty" me! 352 00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,179 I tricked Rick into taking Dad on an adventure 353 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,347 because I thought I could get a break 354 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,940 from this kind of shit but no! 355 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,175 Like father, like Goddamn daughter! 356 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,377 You want to be like Rick, congratulations! 357 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,513 You're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible! 358 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,848 Everything okay here? 359 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,450 Mind your own Goddamn business, Gene! 360 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:46,286 I'm having a conversation with my mother here! 361 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,431 Kissing Rick's ass isn't gonna help him keep him around, 362 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:51,358 Mom, but it will help you lose everyone else. 363 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,193 Like I lost Summer. 364 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,894 Hey, you haven't lost her yet. 365 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,863 No, I definitely did. She's gone. 366 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,531 God damn it! 367 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:01,935 Go ahead. 368 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,605 Oh, come on. What's happening? 369 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,875 Your friend is class C or above cybernetic augmentations. 370 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,377 Emphasis on the above. 371 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,921 In any case, he needs to be neutralized. 372 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,213 What?! Wait! 373 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,247 Ugh! 374 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,283 Brain hurty. 375 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,550 What did you do? 376 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,595 It's a synaptic dampener that blocks violent tendencies 377 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:20,920 and controversial thought. 378 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,056 He will now be an ideal passenger. 379 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,292 I want cookies and a 90-minute cut of "Avatar." 380 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,826 Seriously? 381 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,595 Quit it. It'll wear off in six hours. 382 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,298 It's cheaper than banning dangerous people from flights. 383 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:33,100 I mean, let everybody buy a ticket, right? 384 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,901 Otherwise, the terrorists win. 385 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,740 Aah! 386 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,310 I'm sorry I'm not a classic maternal archetype. 387 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,188 Okay, I don't know what to do when you people come to me 388 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,080 with your weird puberty issues. 389 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:49,082 What are you gonna do when your daughter asks you 390 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,183 if she's attractive? 391 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,452 I'll say "yes"! Morty, gross! 392 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,087 Well, she's gonna be super hot. 393 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,755 Her mother's gonna be Jessica... 394 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,324 Wait, when did Summer ask you that?! 395 00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,759 Right before she Clive Barkered herself. Why? 396 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,261 Wait, I know where she is! 397 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,196 Ethan and Summer were supposed to go camping, 398 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,432 and then he dumped Summer for this girl, Tricia Lange, 399 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,600 who's got huge boobies and took her. 400 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,778 Campsite... The one with the name that sounds like somebody 401 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,804 gave up halfway through naming it. 402 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,440 Uh... Camp Flabanabba! 403 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,008 Mama's coming, baby. 404 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,544 Mama's coming, and she cares about your titties! 405 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:20,947 They have sweet smiggle honey cookies. 406 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:24,017 Mmm! And low-calorie petroleum flakes. 407 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,218 Obviously cookies. 408 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,453 Let's get you the flakes then. 409 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,887 Okay, but it's not what I wanted. 410 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,389 Well, maybe next time, you won't be 411 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,791 such a dumb piece of shit and you can pick for yourself. 412 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,126 That's not nice. What's that? 413 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,028 Did you just have a controversial thought? 414 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,696 No. That's what I thought, bitch. 415 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,698 You little punk-ass. 416 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:40,467 This is the best. 417 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,835 I agree. You've made things even easier 418 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,304 than if you hadn't been incompetent. 419 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,306 Uh-oh. We get shoot-shoot now. 420 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,419 All right, folks, if you could please take your seats, 421 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,079 we're about to enter the wormhole. 422 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,381 So, I hope everybody bought it dinner first. 423 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,815 Nice. Nice. 424 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,184 Jerry, step over there 425 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,651 and lock yourself in the escape pod. 426 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,420 You're not killing us? I'm killing Rick. 427 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:03,056 You're free to go. You're no threat to me or anyone. 428 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,491 Now you're just being mean. 429 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,059 Yeah, you're mean... No offense. 430 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,727 Mean would be shooting you, Jerry. 431 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,096 This is saving a bullet. 432 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,730 Go back to your quietly ashamed family 433 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,075 and live out the rest of your days 434 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,733 in denial of your vagina fantasies. 435 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:16,669 It was a one-time thought that everyone has! 436 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,506 What are you doing? 437 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,741 I'm being triumphantly brave! 438 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,343 It's not triumphant or brave. 439 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,677 You're not risking anything. 440 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,845 You might shoot me. 441 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,180 I think you know I won't. 442 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,524 Because you know I feel sorry for you. 443 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,059 You're just doing this so you can tell yourself 444 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,451 you fought... Ow! 445 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,521 Temporal shield compromised. 446 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,124 Congratulations, Jerry. You get to die a man. 447 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,591 Uh, that's okay! I'll leave! 448 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,594 Please don't shoot. I-I'm the vagina guy, remember? 449 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:49,769 Whoa! What is happening to me? 450 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,771 Where is this? Where am I? 451 00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,140 Am I dead? 452 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,641 A-Am I... Am I still alive? 453 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,377 Those aren't the questions you should be asking. 454 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,378 Huh?! 455 00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,512 Shh! 456 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:24,103 Ah, got ya! 457 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,572 Come here, you little pumpkin. 458 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,974 I have shit on my ass. 459 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,909 Whoa, oof this! 460 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,444 Who am I? 461 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:32,945 Who am I? 462 00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:36,082 I'm time! I'm literally time! 463 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:41,454 Whooooa! 464 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:42,789 Aah! 465 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:45,525 Oh, God. I feel like our souls were united, 466 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,760 and we were all one with eternity. 467 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,262 Our body's unchanged, 468 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:51,764 yet our minds have lived a thousand lifetimes. 469 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,800 Is that enough time for me to forgive you? 470 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,010 I don't know, but it's enough time 471 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,003 for a synaptic dampener to wear off. 472 00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,510 He hadn't decided he was still going to kill us! 473 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,612 He was talking himself into it. I've seen it before. 474 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,448 Cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia. 475 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,559 I'm starting to believe you because I just finished merging 476 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,519 with your essence for an endless epoch, 477 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,621 and I'm already back to thinking you're an asshole. 478 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,456 Fine with me. Let's just go our separate ways. 479 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,024 Sounds like you and the word "epoch" 480 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,235 have a lot of catching up to do. 481 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,793 Wait, don't leave me! 482 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,338 All right, folks, you're free to get up 483 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,830 and walk around the cabin 484 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,965 and maybe take the wormhole out for breakfast. 485 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,743 Okay, you can do the dinner one or the breakfast one, 486 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,269 but not both. 487 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,139 You think you got that thing figured out? 488 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,341 Yeah, I know what I'm doing. 489 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,343 Good. Because I have an idea. 490 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:42,148 It's actually a contraction of "some" and "more," 491 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,583 you see that? Oh, wow. 492 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:44,684 I was way off. 493 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,504 Morty, what's happening here? 494 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,273 Summer got into my grandpa's garage, 495 00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,675 messed around, and turned herself into a monster. 496 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,910 My mom did the same to make her feel better. 497 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,211 She's a good mom. 498 00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:17,284 Oh, my God. I have to go call my mother! 499 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,018 Tricia, wait! Ethan! Ethan! 500 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,020 Hey, it's okay. Sit down. 501 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,356 You made my sister cry, Ethan. 502 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,957 You messed with her body image. 503 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,125 Look, Morty, I... 504 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,460 Shh, shh, shh. 505 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,730 Careful, Ethan. Your s'more is burning. 506 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,942 Uh, I guess we better get on the same page 507 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,377 about our fake adventure. 508 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:45,812 Right. I'll make you a deal. 509 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,390 I'll leave out the part where you tried to murder me... 510 00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:48,815 And I'll leave out the part 511 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:52,652 where you admitted to sabotaging our marriage. 512 00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:53,786 You want to...? 513 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:55,555 Nah, if the family sees me like this, 514 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,223 they'll feel sorry for me. 515 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,726 Which is no longer my signature move. 516 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,794 Later days, amigo. 517 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,232 Actually, I just realized, I don't have my wallet, 518 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,576 and my bus pass is in there, so maybe... 519 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,235 Stay strong, Jerry. I believe in you! 520 00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:52,178 I tell you, fellas. This is the life. 521 00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:53,813 It certainly is. 522 00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,014 To freedom! 523 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:58,385 Ooh! Looks like a 4-22. 524 00:21:58,418 --> 00:21:59,886 Ooh, a couple cranks on scaling knob 525 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:02,789 with a four dilabyte cross fade would fix that in a jiff. 526 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,525 Four? You'd be lucky to clear 13% de-morphized 527 00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,959 with that kind of range. 528 00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:10,062 Gentlemen, gentlemen, what did we agree on? 529 00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:11,498 No work talk! 530 00:22:11,531 --> 00:22:14,467 Let's just relax and enjoy our retirement, shall... 531 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,135 Oh, my God! 532 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,770 Aaah!