1
00:00:08,885 --> 00:00:11,888
Who's ready for Rick's
famous spaghetti?!
2
00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:13,431
I love
Spaghetti Thursdays!
3
00:00:13,431 --> 00:00:15,850
Oh, my God, Rick, i-it's like
it's better every time!
4
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,101
Hell yeah,
you like that?!
5
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,936
That's-a some
good spaghetti!
6
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,314
Grandpa Rick,
I'm skull emoji but words.
7
00:00:21,314 --> 00:00:23,816
Sauce? More sauce?
Oh, we gots the sauce!
8
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:26,152
Dad, you-- you had
a job interview, right?
9
00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:27,570
Bombed it!
10
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,447
But it's nothing a little
Bolognese won't cure!
11
00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:31,491
Dad, this noodle
is sooo tender.
12
00:00:31,491 --> 00:00:34,994
A little spicy!
A little sweet!
13
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:36,329
It's so nice that we're talking,
you know,
14
00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:37,538
all-- all--
all talking
15
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,790
because we're a family
and everything,
16
00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:40,416
and this a good time
we're having.
17
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:41,501
Is there any more?!
18
00:00:41,501 --> 00:00:42,877
Seconds?
Thirds?
19
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:45,922
We spa-gots as much
as you can spag-eat!
20
00:00:45,922 --> 00:00:47,006
Rick,
I-I got to know, like,
21
00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:49,425
wh-what's the secret
ingredient--
22
00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:51,844
God, no! Why?
Why? No!
23
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,095
Why is it always
this shit with you?!
24
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,764
O-Of course
it's a person!
25
00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:57,016
Rick, why couldn't
it just be spaghetti?
26
00:00:57,016 --> 00:01:30,883
{\an8}♪
27
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,468
{\an8}Rick:
I'm just going to say this
28
00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:34,220
{\an8}as simply as possible
and let you not believe me--
29
00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,973
{\an8}on this planet, people that kill
themselves turn into spaghetti.
30
00:01:36,973 --> 00:01:38,224
{\an8}What?
31
00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,476
{\an8}I know, you're a visual learner,
so follow me.
32
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,980
{\an8}Oh, hi,
Doctor Hotpenis.
33
00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:45,648
{\an8}You're not supposed to
bring patients--
34
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:49,110
{\an8}Hi, Michael. It's okay.
This alien boy has space cancer
35
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,237
{\an8}and his dying wish
is to see deader people
36
00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,738
{\an8}so he can feel superior.
37
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,074
{\an8}All you had to say.
38
00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:56,742
{\an8}Check it out. Murdered.
39
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,286
{\an8}Oh, gross!
40
00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,871
{\an8}Car crash.
Oh!
41
00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:01,914
{\an8}And suicide.
42
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,583
{\an8}Ugh, Rick, I don't--
43
00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:05,751
{\an8}Wait,
what is that smell?
44
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,587
{\an8}You know God damn well
what it is, baby.
45
00:02:07,587 --> 00:02:09,255
{\an8}Get in here.
Oh, don't do that!
46
00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:11,549
{\an8}You've been doing it for weeks
every spaghetti night!
47
00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,384
{\an8}Come on, Morty.
Choo choo plane!
48
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,303
{\an8}Gross!
Come on!
49
00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:16,554
{\an8}God damn!
50
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,598
{\an8}Telling you!
Why?! How?!
51
00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:20,808
{\an8}Their cortisol increases
the starch content
52
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,393
{\an8}in their bloodstream,
changing their intestines
53
00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:24,020
{\an8}into one
long spaghetti noodle,
54
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:26,564
{\an8}and the surrounding tissues
into a spicy-sweet hematoma
55
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,399
{\an8}that we would call
a Bolognese.
56
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,443
{\an8}But it takes
a lot of cortisol...
57
00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:31,861
{\an8}like a suicidal amount.
58
00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,237
{\an8}I-It's almost
better cold!
59
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,072
{\an8}Wouldn't go that far,
don't be a hipster.
60
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,282
{\an8}Excuse me.
61
00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,367
{\an8}Are you two
eating a corpse?
62
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,785
{\an8}It's okay!
I-It's spaghetti.
63
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,078
{\an8}Morty, they don't know
what that is.
64
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,455
{\an8}I'm calling the police!
65
00:02:42,455 --> 00:02:44,206
{\an8}Before you do that, just--
No, Rick, stop--
66
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,791
{\an8}What?!
Where am I?
67
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,710
{\an8}In a morgue,
eating bodies!
We're what?!
68
00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:50,588
{\an8}Stop using that thing!
What thing? Who are we?
69
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,423
{\an8}We were just leaving.
All you had to say!
70
00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:54,508
{\an8}Whose car is this?
Whose sun visor is this?
71
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,968
{\an8}What's a sun?
72
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:59,931
{\an8}Jesus, sorry,
that's always embarrassing.
73
00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:02,475
{\an8}But you see what I mean now?
Best spaghetti in the galaxy
74
00:03:02,475 --> 00:03:03,893
{\an8}and it's 100%
guilt-free.
75
00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:05,603
{\an8}I wanna know their names.
Who?
76
00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,063
{\an8}Michael?
Coroner Number One?
77
00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,315
{\an8}The people we've been eating
every spaghetti night!
78
00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:10,816
{\an8}Do you even know
their names?
79
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,568
{\an8}I'm not giving you
your spaghettises' names!
80
00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:14,862
{\an8}You've found my line, Morty!
I-I find that ghoulish!
81
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,073
{\an8}I-I want their names
o-or I'm telling Mom
82
00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:18,282
{\an8}and no more
spaghetti night!
83
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:19,659
You suck!
Where's the thing?
84
00:03:19,659 --> 00:03:21,327
Where's the "Men in Black"
thing?
Names!
85
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:22,578
And if you know
the fuckin' names
86
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:23,788
of your spaghettis,
that's it?
87
00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,206
This is done?
It's all I ask!
88
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,958
You won't get overwhelmed
with even more guilt
89
00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:28,501
and then demand to go
to their fuckin' funeral?
90
00:03:28,501 --> 00:03:30,503
Just their names
and then I'm done.
91
00:03:30,503 --> 00:03:31,796
I promise.
92
00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:34,131
I fucking hate you.
93
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,758
I just want to
pay my respects!
94
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:37,343
The only reason
you're still alive
95
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:41,097
is because you don't turn
delicious when you die.
96
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:46,894
Thank you for that
moment of silence.
97
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,146
I'd like to open it up
to the congregation,
98
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:53,359
if anyone would like to say
a few words about Lawrence.
99
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,242
Or...
another moment of silence.
100
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,661
Geez, no wonder
he killed himself.
101
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,037
Okay, let's--
102
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,080
Oh, for--
103
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,790
Hi. Um...
104
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:10,710
I just want to be honest
about something.
105
00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,336
After Lawrence died,
106
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,839
we, uh, ate him.
107
00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:16,966
Wait, we're not...
108
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:19,844
werewolves or-- or anything,
we-- we come from a planet,
109
00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:22,430
where, to us, when you guys
kill yourselves,
110
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,558
you turn into what
my planet considers food.
111
00:04:25,558 --> 00:04:28,519
Spaghetti.
It brought us together.
112
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,771
Lawrence
brought us together.
113
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,816
It just felt wrong not
having anyone know that.
114
00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:35,401
But he was delicious.
115
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:39,780
I-I hope that helps
make it right.
116
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,365
That should do it, buddy.
117
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,409
Everybody enjoy
your closure.
118
00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:48,039
So we were eating... people.
119
00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:49,415
I-I'm afraid so.
120
00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:52,418
They were so... spaghettiesque.
121
00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:53,753
Yes, they were.
122
00:04:53,753 --> 00:04:56,005
It's going to be...
hard to...
123
00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:57,757
Hard to put out of your mind, yes,
124
00:04:57,757 --> 00:05:00,342
which is why I thought it best
to keep you all in the dark.
125
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:01,469
So...
126
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,137
Morty ruined
spaghetti night.
127
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,930
- Correct.
- Summer! It was people!
128
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,640
It was people, Summer.
129
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,267
Which is disgusting.
130
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,269
And not cool
to lie about.
131
00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:11,437
Correct.
132
00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:13,606
But it should also be noted,
to Morty,
133
00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:15,024
that it's not cool
to tattle.
134
00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,650
Dad!
They were delicious!
135
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,736
So keep eating them!
We can't now!
136
00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:19,820
Because of you!
137
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,030
Sorry,
Morty.
138
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,823
That was
terrible parenting.
139
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,785
You did the "right" thing.
140
00:05:25,785 --> 00:05:29,288
We are technically very happy
to be better informed.
141
00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:30,664
First octopus,
now this.
142
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,208
Have-- Have we thought about
just giving up
143
00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,335
and joining the fascist
half of the country?
144
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,461
- No!
- No!
145
00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,046
Just saying,
they get to do more.
146
00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:40,216
Well, I guess I'll go to my room
since everyone hates me now.
147
00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:42,968
Oh.
Sorry.
148
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,303
- Good night, Morty.
- Good night, Morty.
149
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,389
Goodnight, Morty.
150
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,933
Hey, big boy.
Are you depressed?
151
00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:51,393
Oooooh,
mama likes depression.
152
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,187
Oopsie,
I spilled my milk.
153
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,563
Now we're both sad.
154
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,940
I'm a bad family therapist
farm girl.
155
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,487
Space Ship:
Hello, Morty Smith.
156
00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:04,532
You are invited
to 41-Kepler B.
157
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:06,867
You know it as
Spaghetti Planet.
158
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,952
You're not in trouble.
159
00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:09,995
We just want to talk.
160
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,373
Can that thing
support my weight?
161
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,041
It should.
162
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,835
Uh, o-okay...
163
00:06:15,835 --> 00:06:17,169
um...
up here?
164
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,796
Oh, uh, geez.
165
00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:20,214
Ever heard of a ramp?
166
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,424
This is a ramp.
Uh-huh.
167
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:27,596
Hi, Morty, I'm the president
of this planet.
168
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,640
I saw the video of you
at that funeral.
169
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,142
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
170
00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:33,686
It was quite the... revelation.
171
00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:34,854
Uh, would you...
172
00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,522
mind...
showing us?
173
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,691
Uh, this is
the..."spaghetti"
174
00:06:38,691 --> 00:06:40,901
of a person that
took their own life.
175
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,695
They did
consent to be eaten.
176
00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:44,697
Uh, okay.
177
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:51,203
Wow, yeah,
a-amazing as always.
178
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:52,705
N-Not gonna lie.
179
00:06:52,705 --> 00:06:56,000
And would you consider yourself
a typical Earthian?
180
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,336
Well, on Earth, it's considered
inferior to be typical,
181
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,964
so we're all very special
and different,
182
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:04,216
but we definitely
all do like spaghetti.
183
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:07,052
All...
eight billion of you?
Oooh.
184
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:10,014
Morty, how would you feel
about being a kind of...
185
00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:13,517
ambassador?
A liaison between our worlds.
186
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,186
Oh.
Now hold on.
187
00:07:15,186 --> 00:07:17,146
I-I went to that funeral
because--
188
00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:18,606
Because you felt bad.
189
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,774
Because you didn't
have permission.
190
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,526
Show him.
191
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:24,862
My name is
Tanya Radcliffe.
192
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,489
I've been living in pain
for years,
193
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:31,493
I've lost all my loved ones,
I've got nothing.
194
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:35,706
So when doctors told me I could
finally have the "right to die"
195
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,168
if I agree to be dinner
for some alien boy,
196
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:43,797
I simply said,
"I hope I'm delicious."
197
00:07:44,924 --> 00:07:46,175
God damn.
198
00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:49,178
Mm, and would you say
that makes it taste better?
199
00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:51,722
It makes it go down
a lot easier.
200
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,307
Oh, I like that.
201
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,310
Maybe it's time we allow
some people the right to die
202
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,645
and be delicious.
203
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,563
Please feel free
to finish Tanya.
204
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:00,731
It is what she wanted.
205
00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,691
No.
No, I-I-I think I'm good.
206
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:03,776
Thanks.
207
00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:06,862
Tanya,
you really were tasty.
208
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:12,076
Actually,
can I take her to go?
209
00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:14,536
Who's ready for
more ethical spaghetti?!
210
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,538
Me!
I love this ethical shit!
211
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,499
Full admission,
I was fine before too!
212
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,042
God, this is so good!
213
00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:21,460
Pass the parmeesian!
214
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:22,670
Where's Dad?
215
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,129
Why does he keep missing
spaghetti night?
216
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,173
I guess he got butthurt
because Morty high-roaded him
217
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,925
and got us
the delicious spaghetti
218
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,468
without all the lies
and nihilism.
219
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:32,805
And another cheer for the added
bonus of no Rick--
220
00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:34,473
Boom.
Sorry to interrupt
221
00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,100
Morty's perfect
spaghetti night,
222
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:37,518
but thought
he'd wanna see this.
223
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,019
Whoa, what the fuck
is that?!
224
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,564
"Morty-O's Suicide Spaghetti
is 100% ethical,
225
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,149
single-origin pasta."
226
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,484
Oh, dear God.
227
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:47,152
Lemme guess, you went back
to the planet,
228
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,238
gave some thoughtful insight
to their leader,
229
00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:51,824
and now they're selling their
dead at every Space Walmart.
230
00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:54,743
I-I did but I didn't say
to do this!
231
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,287
Is this people,
or not people?
232
00:08:56,287 --> 00:08:59,373
I-I just need to know how much
I should pretend to be upset.
233
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,583
This seems to be Roger.
234
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,002
Hi.
I'm Roger Wayne Marder.
235
00:09:03,002 --> 00:09:04,712
I was a serial killer
and cannibal,
236
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,630
and now I get to kill myself
and be food for you,
237
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,925
which I suppose is a silver
lining to all my misdeeds.
238
00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,970
Anyway, please enjoy me.
239
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,014
So "yes" to people?
240
00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:17,391
Wow.
I-I mean, on the bright side,
241
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,143
I-I feel like one
could look at this
242
00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:22,771
as a really nice epilogue t-to
a story about telling the truth.
243
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,566
Uh-huh, care to see
that epilogue?
244
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,361
What is all this?
245
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:32,364
Cans of spaghetti selling out
to every neighboring planet.
246
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:36,368
Wanna go see how ethical
it is down there?
247
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:39,038
This is Spaghetti Planet?
What happened?
248
00:09:39,038 --> 00:09:40,331
You happened.
249
00:09:40,331 --> 00:09:42,916
You happened all over
those billboards.
250
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,501
Oh, geez, oh, no.
251
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,838
See that? They call that bridge
"The Most Scenic Jump."
252
00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,381
There used to be
safety rails.
253
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:52,468
They melted them down
for giant spaghetti strainers.
254
00:09:52,468 --> 00:09:53,886
You wanna
turn on the radio?
255
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,554
I get it,
it's all Enya.
256
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,389
Nope,
all morning zoo teams.
257
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,391
Just patter.
No songs.
258
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,893
Oh, and for TV?
259
00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:03,479
Wall-to-wall reality television,
but not the good kind.
260
00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:05,731
It's like their whole planet
was bought by Discovery.
261
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,399
Jesus Christ,
this is depressing.
262
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,234
That's definitely
what they're going for.
263
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,569
Look at this shit.
264
00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:13,030
They dyed their sun
institutional gray.
265
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,324
That's not easy,
kind of impressed.
266
00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,659
And all of it
is thanks to...
267
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:18,952
Oh, God.
268
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,913
I'm a murderer.
269
00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:22,122
Oh, no, Morty.
270
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,500
What you did was
much more indirect.
271
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,212
I understand your concerns,
but look around.
272
00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:30,214
With what's coming in from
intergalactic spaghetti trade,
273
00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:34,385
we've decreased our debt,
are making a lot of money.
274
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:38,263
We've got clean energy.
That space where you paused
275
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,890
is where you should have said
"mental healthcare."
276
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:43,102
Alright, we had to put our
fingers on the scale, a little.
277
00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:45,896
But if we stop this,
the supply chain crumbles
278
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,856
and kills
the global economy.
279
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,525
How many people
will suffer then?
280
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:53,737
Okay, tough problem, definitely
a spicy meat-a-ball.
281
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,280
Bu-Bu-But we can fix it.
Right, Rick?
282
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,366
You mean me.
You want me to fix it.
283
00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,700
Uh, a moment?
284
00:10:58,700 --> 00:10:59,868
Yes,
I want you to fix it.
285
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,203
None of this
would have happened
286
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,788
if you'd been honest
about the spaghetti.
287
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:05,332
Morty, I lied to protect you.
You told the truth to hurt me.
288
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,292
I can't travel the galaxy
with you if every time
289
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,877
we come near
a fucked up system,
290
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,130
you leap into its wires
and electrocute yourself.
291
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:13,173
I promise to stop.
You what?
292
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,716
If you help me,
I-I promise
293
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,385
I'll never look under
the curtain at a Rick thing
294
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:18,303
to figure out
what's bad about it ever again.
295
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,222
And you can never
say no to me.
296
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,348
What are you,
Keith Raniere?
297
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,641
For two weeks.
Fine.
298
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,351
My grandson kissed my ass
so I'm in.
299
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:27,438
Okay, so, w-we just need
to figure out something else
300
00:11:27,438 --> 00:11:30,399
besides people to put
in the cans, right?
301
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:33,861
But people are the spaghetti,
that's the whole thing.
302
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,155
But what if
they weren't?
303
00:11:36,155 --> 00:11:38,031
I'm listening.
Me, too.
304
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:42,035
I mean, what if we make
something like a person?
305
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,328
Like...
306
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,538
Rick, y-you're always
doing clones, right?
307
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,039
What are you
suggesting here?
308
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,208
A sped-up life span
and indoctrination program?
309
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,335
Limiting their exposure
to the world and convincing them
310
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,213
that becoming spaghetti
is their destiny?
311
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,843
{\an8}♪
312
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,887
I won't be
delicious for them!
313
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:03,432
I love you,
Clone-5617B!
314
00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:10,147
That was some speed run of
"Never Let Me Go," huh?
315
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:11,523
Spoilers, Rick!
316
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,775
Eh, I guess all clone stories
turn out the same way.
317
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:17,696
So, we're back to the regular
people, regular suicides?
318
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:18,906
No, no,
hold on, hold on.
319
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,199
We can do this.
320
00:12:20,199 --> 00:12:22,784
Maybe we make them less... people.
321
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,996
H-How much of a people do they
have to be to become spaghetti?
322
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,539
Oooooh, gray areas!
323
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:28,916
My specialty!
324
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,459
Subject one.
325
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,419
No frontal lobe,
no empathy centers.
326
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,088
Otherwise the same physiology
as a person.
327
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:38,008
Unfortunately,
to this guy,
328
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,885
there's no difference
between life and death.
329
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:41,803
So no spaghetti.
330
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,514
Then there's this one.
331
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:45,724
It's in horrible, unimaginable
pain from the moment it's born.
332
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,059
Oh, geez,
oh, no, Rick!
333
00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:49,228
And so I didn't even
bother to make it
334
00:12:49,228 --> 00:12:50,896
because I knew
you'd take issue.
335
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,981
Even though you'd be doing it
a favor by ending its life.
336
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:55,067
Fuck you.
You might want to examine
that Trolley Problem
337
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,485
at some point, Morty.
338
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:58,278
Anyway,
here's the last one.
339
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,072
Kept the brain stem,
internal motor functions.
340
00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:03,450
But essentially just a headless,
boneless torso.
341
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,744
There's...
spaghetti inside that?
342
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:06,912
Theoretically, yes.
343
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:10,082
The problem is the...
y-you know.
344
00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:14,211
Cou-Could you, um, like...
345
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:16,922
What is that? Wh-What are you--
Is this charades?
346
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:18,340
Okay, okay, are you
making a fist?
347
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,425
W-Wait, is that supposed
to be a phone?
348
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,469
Ah, fuck it,
just spell it out for me.
349
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:26,098
Um, maybe give them
a claw-like hand
350
00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:29,685
so they can, ya know,
stab themselves to death?
351
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,103
All you had to say.
352
00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:35,190
Well, this is some solution
you guys have cooked up.
353
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:59,089
{\an8}♪
354
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,049
Spaghetti!
Technically.
355
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,342
Good enough for me.
356
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,511
We need to fill 100,000 cans
by the weekend.
357
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:08,473
So let's fire up
these chunky boys!
358
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,853
Torso's rights!
Torso's rights!
359
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:17,316
The new spaghetti sucks!
We want authentic spaghetti!
360
00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:18,567
Oh, were you--
361
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,485
Wait, you're gonna
blow yourself up?
362
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,321
Yeah,
but if you wanna do it--
363
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:24,740
Well, you clearly have
a morally superior position,
364
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,908
so please, go ahead.
365
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,201
You just want me
to kill myself
366
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,786
so you can eat
the spaghetti, right?
367
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,455
Fuckin' alien piece of shit.
368
00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:33,123
Oh, fuck you!
Fuck you!
369
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:41,965
How long does a society
take to collapse?
370
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,300
Let's find out.
371
00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:45,677
Ay!
What's the fuckin' hold-up?
372
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:48,138
I've got an entire planet
waiting on delivery!
373
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,514
They say they're out
of spaghetti!
374
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:52,351
Then let's go down there
and make some!
375
00:14:55,312 --> 00:15:03,028
- Kill yourself.
- Kill yourself...
376
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,404
Madame President:
I understand.
377
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,490
Divert half of the armed patrols
to civil unrest,
378
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,408
the other half
to planetary defense.
379
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:11,161
Take every action necessary
to restore order.
380
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,372
Still didn't hear much diverting
towards mental healthcare--
381
00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:14,706
The brainstorming is over,
382
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,792
you ghoulish little
corpse-eating alien!
383
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:18,001
You've helped enough!
384
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,336
Fuck!
385
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,505
We owe so much spaghetti
to so many planets
386
00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:23,298
that we're all going to
have to kill ourselves.
387
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:24,758
Slow down, slow down.
388
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,135
Rick can synthesize anything
he gets a sample of.
389
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,845
Can't we still try that?
390
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:31,348
I mean,
is there anyone else left
391
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,058
who might wanna
kill themselves?
392
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:36,895
There's one,
but good luck.
393
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,480
Two months to live.
394
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,399
Bedridden,
terrible pain.
395
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:42,734
Whoa.
Why hasn't he done it yet?
396
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,945
Hey!
Fuck you,
spaghetti child!
397
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,154
What gives?!
398
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,907
I'm in pain
and I wish I could die,
399
00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:52,119
but I won't feed
your sick system of profit.
400
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,413
Integrity means
living with pain.
401
00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:59,209
What if I told you this would
end the spaghetti trade forever?
402
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,753
What do you mean?
I'll explain on the way.
403
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,554
Did you have a,
like a...
404
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:12,764
euthanasia chamber
ready to go?
405
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,933
It's just a place.
406
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:20,647
Hey! Hey!
Everyone stop! Stop!
407
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,691
I have a solution
to get you all spaghetti.
408
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:25,152
We're gonna do this
one last time.
409
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,112
This guy here,
he's gonna do the deed,
410
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,613
and I-I'll synthesize it.
411
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,824
This is the Kitty Hawk
of our Wright Brothers flight,
412
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:34,453
or the fill-in-the-blank
from your fill-in-the-planet.
413
00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:36,455
Now, Fred,
just think about your life.
414
00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:39,541
This machine will put it
on screen for everyone to see.
415
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:42,502
When you're ready,
press the button.
416
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,383
D-Do you think
this is gonna work?
417
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:49,468
Trust me.
418
00:16:56,141 --> 00:17:11,490
{\an8}♪
419
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,909
♪ Maybe ♪
420
00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:16,578
♪ I don't really wanna know ♪
421
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,456
♪ How your garden grows ♪
422
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:22,793
♪ 'Cause I just wanna fly ♪
423
00:17:22,793 --> 00:17:24,836
♪ Lately ♪
424
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:27,881
♪ Did you ever feel the pain ♪
425
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,675
♪ In the morning rain ♪
426
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:34,763
♪ As it soaks you to the bone? ♪
427
00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:37,599
♪ Maybe I just wanna fly ♪
428
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,227
♪ Wanna live,
I don't wanna die ♪
429
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:43,063
♪ Maybe I just wanna breathe ♪
430
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,107
♪ Maybe I just don't believe ♪
431
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,777
♪ Maybe you're the same as me ♪
432
00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:51,613
♪ We see things
they'll never see ♪
433
00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:58,912
♪ You and I
are gonna live forever ♪
434
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:01,665
♪ I said maybe ♪
435
00:18:01,665 --> 00:18:04,626
♪ I don't really wanna know ♪
436
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,504
♪ How your garden grows ♪
437
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:10,715
♪ 'Cause I just wanna fly ♪
438
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,884
♪ Lately ♪
439
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:15,887
♪ Did you ever feel the pain ♪
440
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:18,515
♪ In the morning rain ♪
441
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:22,853
♪ As it soaks you to the bone? ♪
442
00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:25,605
♪ Maybe I will never be ♪
443
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,275
♪ All the things
that I wanna be ♪
444
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:31,278
♪ Now is not the time to cry ♪
445
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,989
♪ Now's the time
to find out why ♪
446
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,700
♪ I think you're
the same as me ♪
447
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,661
♪ We see things
they'll never see ♪
448
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:44,916
♪ You and I
are gonna live forever ♪
449
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:47,419
{\an8}♪
450
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,546
♪ Maybe ♪
451
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,716
♪ I don't really wanna know ♪
452
00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:55,427
♪ How your garden grows ♪
453
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:58,763
♪ 'Cause I just wanna fly ♪
454
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,432
♪ Lately ♪
455
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:04,019
♪ Did you ever feel the pain ♪
456
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,605
♪ In the morning rain ♪
457
00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:10,775
♪ As it soaks you to the bone? ♪
458
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:13,570
♪ Maybe I just wanna fly ♪
459
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,239
♪ Wanna live,
I don't wanna die ♪
460
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:19,075
♪ Maybe I just wanna breathe ♪
461
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:21,953
♪ Maybe I just don't believe ♪
462
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:24,789
♪ Maybe you're the same as me ♪
463
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,542
♪ We see things
they'll never see ♪
464
00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:34,466
♪ You and I are gonna
live forever ♪
465
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:38,595
♪ Gonna live forever ♪
466
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,327
Bon appétit.
467
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:15,548
Well, fuck.
468
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,468
I think I can speak
on behalf of my people--
469
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,387
We've had
enough spaghetti.
470
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:21,972
You did it,
didn't you?
471
00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:23,890
You couldn't change
everyone's taste buds
472
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,850
but you could
make it...
473
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,352
distasteful.
474
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,603
It wasn't the death,
was it?
475
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,230
It was the complexity
of life.
476
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,523
God,
what was the point?
477
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:32,899
If you're asking whether
this was a story
478
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,652
about right and wrong,
the answer is
479
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,861
I don't care.
480
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,155
So what do we do?
Cells consume, Morty.
481
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:41,783
Life itself is wrong,
and that means death is right.
482
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,118
But you can't
side with that.
483
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:46,329
So you live,
even when it means eating.
484
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:49,207
And Fred here
really did it well.
485
00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:50,667
Mmm, mmm.
486
00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:57,132
The hell is this?
Where is the spaghetti?
487
00:20:57,132 --> 00:20:58,550
Why don't you go
fuck yourself, Summer?
488
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,427
What?
What's wrong with
Salisbury steaks?
489
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:03,555
At least try them.
Holy shit, this is...
490
00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:06,433
the best Salisbury steak
I've ever had.
491
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,227
Mmm!
Is it actually
Salisbury steak?
492
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,645
Do you want to know or not?
493
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,147
Together: No, thanks!
494
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,607
Just so you know,
it's really bad.
495
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,859
Whatever you say!
496
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:17,610
Seriously, haha,
I'm not kidding.
497
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,946
I won't tell you but I need you
to know the truth is horrible
498
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,907
so that if you ever find out on
accident, you can't blame me!
499
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,784
Now that's a deal!
Yeah!
500
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,578
Honestly, if you knew,
you might kill yourselves.
501
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:27,746
That's the last thing
I'll say forever.
502
00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:30,915
Good!
503
00:21:30,915 --> 00:22:07,869
{\an8}♪
504
00:22:07,869 --> 00:22:10,997
♪ Gonna live forever ♪
505
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:19,756
That's where vacuum cleaner bags
come from?!
506
00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:21,299
Oh, my God.
507
00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:23,218
Vrrrrrr!
508
00:22:23,218 --> 00:22:24,636
Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
509
00:22:24,636 --> 00:22:27,013
Hgggggg-vvrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
510
00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:29,974
{\an8}Did you get any of that?