1 00:00:08,885 --> 00:00:11,888 Who's ready for Rick's famous spaghetti?! 2 00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:13,431 I love Spaghetti Thursdays! 3 00:00:13,431 --> 00:00:15,850 Oh, my God, Rick, i-it's like it's better every time! 4 00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,101 Hell yeah, you like that?! 5 00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,936 That's-a some good spaghetti! 6 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,314 Grandpa Rick, I'm skull emoji but words. 7 00:00:21,314 --> 00:00:23,816 Sauce? More sauce? Oh, we gots the sauce! 8 00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:26,152 Dad, you-- you had a job interview, right? 9 00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:27,570 Bombed it! 10 00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,447 But it's nothing a little Bolognese won't cure! 11 00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:31,491 Dad, this noodle is sooo tender. 12 00:00:31,491 --> 00:00:34,994 A little spicy! A little sweet! 13 00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:36,329 It's so nice that we're talking, you know, 14 00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:37,538 all-- all-- all talking 15 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,790 because we're a family and everything, 16 00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:40,416 and this a good time we're having. 17 00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:41,501 Is there any more?! 18 00:00:41,501 --> 00:00:42,877 Seconds? Thirds? 19 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:45,922 We spa-gots as much as you can spag-eat! 20 00:00:45,922 --> 00:00:47,006 Rick, I-I got to know, like, 21 00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:49,425 wh-what's the secret ingredient-- 22 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:51,844 God, no! Why? Why? No! 23 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,095 Why is it always this shit with you?! 24 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,764 O-Of course it's a person! 25 00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:57,016 Rick, why couldn't it just be spaghetti? 26 00:00:57,016 --> 00:01:30,883 {\an8}♪ 27 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,468 {\an8}Rick: I'm just going to say this 28 00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:34,220 {\an8}as simply as possible and let you not believe me-- 29 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,973 {\an8}on this planet, people that kill themselves turn into spaghetti. 30 00:01:36,973 --> 00:01:38,224 {\an8}What? 31 00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,476 {\an8}I know, you're a visual learner, so follow me. 32 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,980 {\an8}Oh, hi, Doctor Hotpenis. 33 00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:45,648 {\an8}You're not supposed to bring patients-- 34 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:49,110 {\an8}Hi, Michael. It's okay. This alien boy has space cancer 35 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,237 {\an8}and his dying wish is to see deader people 36 00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,738 {\an8}so he can feel superior. 37 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,074 {\an8}All you had to say. 38 00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:56,742 {\an8}Check it out. Murdered. 39 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,286 {\an8}Oh, gross! 40 00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,871 {\an8}Car crash. Oh! 41 00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:01,914 {\an8}And suicide. 42 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,583 {\an8}Ugh, Rick, I don't-- 43 00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:05,751 {\an8}Wait, what is that smell? 44 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,587 {\an8}You know God damn well what it is, baby. 45 00:02:07,587 --> 00:02:09,255 {\an8}Get in here. Oh, don't do that! 46 00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:11,549 {\an8}You've been doing it for weeks every spaghetti night! 47 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,384 {\an8}Come on, Morty. Choo choo plane! 48 00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,303 {\an8}Gross! Come on! 49 00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:16,554 {\an8}God damn! 50 00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,598 {\an8}Telling you! Why?! How?! 51 00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:20,808 {\an8}Their cortisol increases the starch content 52 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,393 {\an8}in their bloodstream, changing their intestines 53 00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:24,020 {\an8}into one long spaghetti noodle, 54 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:26,564 {\an8}and the surrounding tissues into a spicy-sweet hematoma 55 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,399 {\an8}that we would call a Bolognese. 56 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,443 {\an8}But it takes a lot of cortisol... 57 00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:31,861 {\an8}like a suicidal amount. 58 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,237 {\an8}I-It's almost better cold! 59 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,072 {\an8}Wouldn't go that far, don't be a hipster. 60 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,282 {\an8}Excuse me. 61 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,367 {\an8}Are you two eating a corpse? 62 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,785 {\an8}It's okay! I-It's spaghetti. 63 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,078 {\an8}Morty, they don't know what that is. 64 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,455 {\an8}I'm calling the police! 65 00:02:42,455 --> 00:02:44,206 {\an8}Before you do that, just-- No, Rick, stop-- 66 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,791 {\an8}What?! Where am I? 67 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,710 {\an8}In a morgue, eating bodies! We're what?! 68 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:50,588 {\an8}Stop using that thing! What thing? Who are we? 69 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,423 {\an8}We were just leaving. All you had to say! 70 00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:54,508 {\an8}Whose car is this? Whose sun visor is this? 71 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,968 {\an8}What's a sun? 72 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:59,931 {\an8}Jesus, sorry, that's always embarrassing. 73 00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:02,475 {\an8}But you see what I mean now? Best spaghetti in the galaxy 74 00:03:02,475 --> 00:03:03,893 {\an8}and it's 100% guilt-free. 75 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:05,603 {\an8}I wanna know their names. Who? 76 00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,063 {\an8}Michael? Coroner Number One? 77 00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,315 {\an8}The people we've been eating every spaghetti night! 78 00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:10,816 {\an8}Do you even know their names? 79 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,568 {\an8}I'm not giving you your spaghettises' names! 80 00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:14,862 {\an8}You've found my line, Morty! I-I find that ghoulish! 81 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,073 {\an8}I-I want their names o-or I'm telling Mom 82 00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:18,282 {\an8}and no more spaghetti night! 83 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:19,659 You suck! Where's the thing? 84 00:03:19,659 --> 00:03:21,327 Where's the "Men in Black" thing? Names! 85 00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:22,578 And if you know the fuckin' names 86 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:23,788 of your spaghettis, that's it? 87 00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,206 This is done? It's all I ask! 88 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,958 You won't get overwhelmed with even more guilt 89 00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:28,501 and then demand to go to their fuckin' funeral? 90 00:03:28,501 --> 00:03:30,503 Just their names and then I'm done. 91 00:03:30,503 --> 00:03:31,796 I promise. 92 00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:34,131 I fucking hate you. 93 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,758 I just want to pay my respects! 94 00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:37,343 The only reason you're still alive 95 00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:41,097 is because you don't turn delicious when you die. 96 00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:46,894 Thank you for that moment of silence. 97 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,146 I'd like to open it up to the congregation, 98 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:53,359 if anyone would like to say a few words about Lawrence. 99 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,242 Or... another moment of silence. 100 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,661 Geez, no wonder he killed himself. 101 00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,037 Okay, let's-- 102 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,080 Oh, for-- 103 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,790 Hi. Um... 104 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:10,710 I just want to be honest about something. 105 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,336 After Lawrence died, 106 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,839 we, uh, ate him. 107 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:16,966 Wait, we're not... 108 00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:19,844 werewolves or-- or anything, we-- we come from a planet, 109 00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:22,430 where, to us, when you guys kill yourselves, 110 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,558 you turn into what my planet considers food. 111 00:04:25,558 --> 00:04:28,519 Spaghetti. It brought us together. 112 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,771 Lawrence brought us together. 113 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,816 It just felt wrong not having anyone know that. 114 00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:35,401 But he was delicious. 115 00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:39,780 I-I hope that helps make it right. 116 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,365 That should do it, buddy. 117 00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,409 Everybody enjoy your closure. 118 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:48,039 So we were eating... people. 119 00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:49,415 I-I'm afraid so. 120 00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:52,418 They were so... spaghettiesque. 121 00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:53,753 Yes, they were. 122 00:04:53,753 --> 00:04:56,005 It's going to be... hard to... 123 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:57,757 Hard to put out of your mind, yes, 124 00:04:57,757 --> 00:05:00,342 which is why I thought it best to keep you all in the dark. 125 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:01,469 So... 126 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,137 Morty ruined spaghetti night. 127 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,930 - Correct. - Summer! It was people! 128 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,640 It was people, Summer. 129 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,267 Which is disgusting. 130 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,269 And not cool to lie about. 131 00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:11,437 Correct. 132 00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:13,606 But it should also be noted, to Morty, 133 00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:15,024 that it's not cool to tattle. 134 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,650 Dad! They were delicious! 135 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,736 So keep eating them! We can't now! 136 00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:19,820 Because of you! 137 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,030 Sorry, Morty. 138 00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,823 That was terrible parenting. 139 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,785 You did the "right" thing. 140 00:05:25,785 --> 00:05:29,288 We are technically very happy to be better informed. 141 00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:30,664 First octopus, now this. 142 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,208 Have-- Have we thought about just giving up 143 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,335 and joining the fascist half of the country? 144 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,461 - No! - No! 145 00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,046 Just saying, they get to do more. 146 00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:40,216 Well, I guess I'll go to my room since everyone hates me now. 147 00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:42,968 Oh. Sorry. 148 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,303 - Good night, Morty. - Good night, Morty. 149 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,389 Goodnight, Morty. 150 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,933 Hey, big boy. Are you depressed? 151 00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:51,393 Oooooh, mama likes depression. 152 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,187 Oopsie, I spilled my milk. 153 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,563 Now we're both sad. 154 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,940 I'm a bad family therapist farm girl. 155 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,487 Space Ship: Hello, Morty Smith. 156 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:04,532 You are invited to 41-Kepler B. 157 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:06,867 You know it as Spaghetti Planet. 158 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,952 You're not in trouble. 159 00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:09,995 We just want to talk. 160 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,373 Can that thing support my weight? 161 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,041 It should. 162 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,835 Uh, o-okay... 163 00:06:15,835 --> 00:06:17,169 um... up here? 164 00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,796 Oh, uh, geez. 165 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:20,214 Ever heard of a ramp? 166 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,424 This is a ramp. Uh-huh. 167 00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:27,596 Hi, Morty, I'm the president of this planet. 168 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,640 I saw the video of you at that funeral. 169 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,142 I'm sorry. Don't be. 170 00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:33,686 It was quite the... revelation. 171 00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:34,854 Uh, would you... 172 00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,522 mind... showing us? 173 00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,691 Uh, this is the..."spaghetti" 174 00:06:38,691 --> 00:06:40,901 of a person that took their own life. 175 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,695 They did consent to be eaten. 176 00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:44,697 Uh, okay. 177 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:51,203 Wow, yeah, a-amazing as always. 178 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:52,705 N-Not gonna lie. 179 00:06:52,705 --> 00:06:56,000 And would you consider yourself a typical Earthian? 180 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,336 Well, on Earth, it's considered inferior to be typical, 181 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,964 so we're all very special and different, 182 00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:04,216 but we definitely all do like spaghetti. 183 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:07,052 All... eight billion of you? Oooh. 184 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:10,014 Morty, how would you feel about being a kind of... 185 00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:13,517 ambassador? A liaison between our worlds. 186 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,186 Oh. Now hold on. 187 00:07:15,186 --> 00:07:17,146 I-I went to that funeral because-- 188 00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:18,606 Because you felt bad. 189 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,774 Because you didn't have permission. 190 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,526 Show him. 191 00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:24,862 My name is Tanya Radcliffe. 192 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,489 I've been living in pain for years, 193 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:31,493 I've lost all my loved ones, I've got nothing. 194 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:35,706 So when doctors told me I could finally have the "right to die" 195 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,168 if I agree to be dinner for some alien boy, 196 00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:43,797 I simply said, "I hope I'm delicious." 197 00:07:44,924 --> 00:07:46,175 God damn. 198 00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:49,178 Mm, and would you say that makes it taste better? 199 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:51,722 It makes it go down a lot easier. 200 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,307 Oh, I like that. 201 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,310 Maybe it's time we allow some people the right to die 202 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,645 and be delicious. 203 00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,563 Please feel free to finish Tanya. 204 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:00,731 It is what she wanted. 205 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,691 No. No, I-I-I think I'm good. 206 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:03,776 Thanks. 207 00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:06,862 Tanya, you really were tasty. 208 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:12,076 Actually, can I take her to go? 209 00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:14,536 Who's ready for more ethical spaghetti?! 210 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,538 Me! I love this ethical shit! 211 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,499 Full admission, I was fine before too! 212 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,042 God, this is so good! 213 00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:21,460 Pass the parmeesian! 214 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:22,670 Where's Dad? 215 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,129 Why does he keep missing spaghetti night? 216 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,173 I guess he got butthurt because Morty high-roaded him 217 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,925 and got us the delicious spaghetti 218 00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,468 without all the lies and nihilism. 219 00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:32,805 And another cheer for the added bonus of no Rick-- 220 00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:34,473 Boom. Sorry to interrupt 221 00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,100 Morty's perfect spaghetti night, 222 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:37,518 but thought he'd wanna see this. 223 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,019 Whoa, what the fuck is that?! 224 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,564 "Morty-O's Suicide Spaghetti is 100% ethical, 225 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,149 single-origin pasta." 226 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,484 Oh, dear God. 227 00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:47,152 Lemme guess, you went back to the planet, 228 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,238 gave some thoughtful insight to their leader, 229 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:51,824 and now they're selling their dead at every Space Walmart. 230 00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:54,743 I-I did but I didn't say to do this! 231 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,287 Is this people, or not people? 232 00:08:56,287 --> 00:08:59,373 I-I just need to know how much I should pretend to be upset. 233 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,583 This seems to be Roger. 234 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,002 Hi. I'm Roger Wayne Marder. 235 00:09:03,002 --> 00:09:04,712 I was a serial killer and cannibal, 236 00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,630 and now I get to kill myself and be food for you, 237 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,925 which I suppose is a silver lining to all my misdeeds. 238 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,970 Anyway, please enjoy me. 239 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,014 So "yes" to people? 240 00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:17,391 Wow. I-I mean, on the bright side, 241 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,143 I-I feel like one could look at this 242 00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:22,771 as a really nice epilogue t-to a story about telling the truth. 243 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,566 Uh-huh, care to see that epilogue? 244 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,361 What is all this? 245 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:32,364 Cans of spaghetti selling out to every neighboring planet. 246 00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:36,368 Wanna go see how ethical it is down there? 247 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:39,038 This is Spaghetti Planet? What happened? 248 00:09:39,038 --> 00:09:40,331 You happened. 249 00:09:40,331 --> 00:09:42,916 You happened all over those billboards. 250 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,501 Oh, geez, oh, no. 251 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,838 See that? They call that bridge "The Most Scenic Jump." 252 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,381 There used to be safety rails. 253 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:52,468 They melted them down for giant spaghetti strainers. 254 00:09:52,468 --> 00:09:53,886 You wanna turn on the radio? 255 00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,554 I get it, it's all Enya. 256 00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,389 Nope, all morning zoo teams. 257 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,391 Just patter. No songs. 258 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,893 Oh, and for TV? 259 00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:03,479 Wall-to-wall reality television, but not the good kind. 260 00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:05,731 It's like their whole planet was bought by Discovery. 261 00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,399 Jesus Christ, this is depressing. 262 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,234 That's definitely what they're going for. 263 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,569 Look at this shit. 264 00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:13,030 They dyed their sun institutional gray. 265 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,324 That's not easy, kind of impressed. 266 00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,659 And all of it is thanks to... 267 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:18,952 Oh, God. 268 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,913 I'm a murderer. 269 00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:22,122 Oh, no, Morty. 270 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,500 What you did was much more indirect. 271 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,212 I understand your concerns, but look around. 272 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:30,214 With what's coming in from intergalactic spaghetti trade, 273 00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:34,385 we've decreased our debt, are making a lot of money. 274 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:38,263 We've got clean energy. That space where you paused 275 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,890 is where you should have said "mental healthcare." 276 00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:43,102 Alright, we had to put our fingers on the scale, a little. 277 00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:45,896 But if we stop this, the supply chain crumbles 278 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,856 and kills the global economy. 279 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,525 How many people will suffer then? 280 00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:53,737 Okay, tough problem, definitely a spicy meat-a-ball. 281 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,280 Bu-Bu-But we can fix it. Right, Rick? 282 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,366 You mean me. You want me to fix it. 283 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,700 Uh, a moment? 284 00:10:58,700 --> 00:10:59,868 Yes, I want you to fix it. 285 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,203 None of this would have happened 286 00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,788 if you'd been honest about the spaghetti. 287 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:05,332 Morty, I lied to protect you. You told the truth to hurt me. 288 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,292 I can't travel the galaxy with you if every time 289 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,877 we come near a fucked up system, 290 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,130 you leap into its wires and electrocute yourself. 291 00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:13,173 I promise to stop. You what? 292 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,716 If you help me, I-I promise 293 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,385 I'll never look under the curtain at a Rick thing 294 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:18,303 to figure out what's bad about it ever again. 295 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,222 And you can never say no to me. 296 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,348 What are you, Keith Raniere? 297 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,641 For two weeks. Fine. 298 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,351 My grandson kissed my ass so I'm in. 299 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:27,438 Okay, so, w-we just need to figure out something else 300 00:11:27,438 --> 00:11:30,399 besides people to put in the cans, right? 301 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:33,861 But people are the spaghetti, that's the whole thing. 302 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,155 But what if they weren't? 303 00:11:36,155 --> 00:11:38,031 I'm listening. Me, too. 304 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:42,035 I mean, what if we make something like a person? 305 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,328 Like... 306 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,538 Rick, y-you're always doing clones, right? 307 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,039 What are you suggesting here? 308 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,208 A sped-up life span and indoctrination program? 309 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,335 Limiting their exposure to the world and convincing them 310 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,213 that becoming spaghetti is their destiny? 311 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,843 {\an8}♪ 312 00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,887 I won't be delicious for them! 313 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:03,432 I love you, Clone-5617B! 314 00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:10,147 That was some speed run of "Never Let Me Go," huh? 315 00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:11,523 Spoilers, Rick! 316 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,775 Eh, I guess all clone stories turn out the same way. 317 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:17,696 So, we're back to the regular people, regular suicides? 318 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:18,906 No, no, hold on, hold on. 319 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,199 We can do this. 320 00:12:20,199 --> 00:12:22,784 Maybe we make them less... people. 321 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,996 H-How much of a people do they have to be to become spaghetti? 322 00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,539 Oooooh, gray areas! 323 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:28,916 My specialty! 324 00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,459 Subject one. 325 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,419 No frontal lobe, no empathy centers. 326 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,088 Otherwise the same physiology as a person. 327 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:38,008 Unfortunately, to this guy, 328 00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,885 there's no difference between life and death. 329 00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:41,803 So no spaghetti. 330 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,514 Then there's this one. 331 00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:45,724 It's in horrible, unimaginable pain from the moment it's born. 332 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,059 Oh, geez, oh, no, Rick! 333 00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:49,228 And so I didn't even bother to make it 334 00:12:49,228 --> 00:12:50,896 because I knew you'd take issue. 335 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,981 Even though you'd be doing it a favor by ending its life. 336 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:55,067 Fuck you. You might want to examine that Trolley Problem 337 00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,485 at some point, Morty. 338 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:58,278 Anyway, here's the last one. 339 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,072 Kept the brain stem, internal motor functions. 340 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:03,450 But essentially just a headless, boneless torso. 341 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,744 There's... spaghetti inside that? 342 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:06,912 Theoretically, yes. 343 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:10,082 The problem is the... y-you know. 344 00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:14,211 Cou-Could you, um, like... 345 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:16,922 What is that? Wh-What are you-- Is this charades? 346 00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:18,340 Okay, okay, are you making a fist? 347 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,425 W-Wait, is that supposed to be a phone? 348 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,469 Ah, fuck it, just spell it out for me. 349 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:26,098 Um, maybe give them a claw-like hand 350 00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:29,685 so they can, ya know, stab themselves to death? 351 00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,103 All you had to say. 352 00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:35,190 Well, this is some solution you guys have cooked up. 353 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:59,089 {\an8}♪ 354 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,049 Spaghetti! Technically. 355 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,342 Good enough for me. 356 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,511 We need to fill 100,000 cans by the weekend. 357 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:08,473 So let's fire up these chunky boys! 358 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,853 Torso's rights! Torso's rights! 359 00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:17,316 The new spaghetti sucks! We want authentic spaghetti! 360 00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:18,567 Oh, were you-- 361 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,485 Wait, you're gonna blow yourself up? 362 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,321 Yeah, but if you wanna do it-- 363 00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:24,740 Well, you clearly have a morally superior position, 364 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,908 so please, go ahead. 365 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,201 You just want me to kill myself 366 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,786 so you can eat the spaghetti, right? 367 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,455 Fuckin' alien piece of shit. 368 00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:33,123 Oh, fuck you! Fuck you! 369 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:41,965 How long does a society take to collapse? 370 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,300 Let's find out. 371 00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:45,677 Ay! What's the fuckin' hold-up? 372 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:48,138 I've got an entire planet waiting on delivery! 373 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,514 They say they're out of spaghetti! 374 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:52,351 Then let's go down there and make some! 375 00:14:55,312 --> 00:15:03,028 - Kill yourself. - Kill yourself... 376 00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,404 Madame President: I understand. 377 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,490 Divert half of the armed patrols to civil unrest, 378 00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,408 the other half to planetary defense. 379 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:11,161 Take every action necessary to restore order. 380 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,372 Still didn't hear much diverting towards mental healthcare-- 381 00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:14,706 The brainstorming is over, 382 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,792 you ghoulish little corpse-eating alien! 383 00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:18,001 You've helped enough! 384 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,336 Fuck! 385 00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,505 We owe so much spaghetti to so many planets 386 00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:23,298 that we're all going to have to kill ourselves. 387 00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:24,758 Slow down, slow down. 388 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,135 Rick can synthesize anything he gets a sample of. 389 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,845 Can't we still try that? 390 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:31,348 I mean, is there anyone else left 391 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,058 who might wanna kill themselves? 392 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:36,895 There's one, but good luck. 393 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,480 Two months to live. 394 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,399 Bedridden, terrible pain. 395 00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:42,734 Whoa. Why hasn't he done it yet? 396 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,945 Hey! Fuck you, spaghetti child! 397 00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,154 What gives?! 398 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,907 I'm in pain and I wish I could die, 399 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:52,119 but I won't feed your sick system of profit. 400 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,413 Integrity means living with pain. 401 00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:59,209 What if I told you this would end the spaghetti trade forever? 402 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,753 What do you mean? I'll explain on the way. 403 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,554 Did you have a, like a... 404 00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:12,764 euthanasia chamber ready to go? 405 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,933 It's just a place. 406 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:20,647 Hey! Hey! Everyone stop! Stop! 407 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,691 I have a solution to get you all spaghetti. 408 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:25,152 We're gonna do this one last time. 409 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,112 This guy here, he's gonna do the deed, 410 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,613 and I-I'll synthesize it. 411 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,824 This is the Kitty Hawk of our Wright Brothers flight, 412 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:34,453 or the fill-in-the-blank from your fill-in-the-planet. 413 00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:36,455 Now, Fred, just think about your life. 414 00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:39,541 This machine will put it on screen for everyone to see. 415 00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:42,502 When you're ready, press the button. 416 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,383 D-Do you think this is gonna work? 417 00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:49,468 Trust me. 418 00:16:56,141 --> 00:17:11,490 {\an8}♪ 419 00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,909 ♪ Maybe ♪ 420 00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:16,578 ♪ I don't really wanna know ♪ 421 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,456 ♪ How your garden grows ♪ 422 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:22,793 ♪ 'Cause I just wanna fly ♪ 423 00:17:22,793 --> 00:17:24,836 ♪ Lately ♪ 424 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:27,881 ♪ Did you ever feel the pain ♪ 425 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,675 ♪ In the morning rain ♪ 426 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:34,763 ♪ As it soaks you to the bone? ♪ 427 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:37,599 ♪ Maybe I just wanna fly ♪ 428 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,227 ♪ Wanna live, I don't wanna die ♪ 429 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:43,063 ♪ Maybe I just wanna breathe ♪ 430 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,107 ♪ Maybe I just don't believe ♪ 431 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,777 ♪ Maybe you're the same as me ♪ 432 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:51,613 ♪ We see things they'll never see ♪ 433 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:58,912 ♪ You and I are gonna live forever ♪ 434 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:01,665 ♪ I said maybe ♪ 435 00:18:01,665 --> 00:18:04,626 ♪ I don't really wanna know ♪ 436 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,504 ♪ How your garden grows ♪ 437 00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:10,715 ♪ 'Cause I just wanna fly ♪ 438 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,884 ♪ Lately ♪ 439 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:15,887 ♪ Did you ever feel the pain ♪ 440 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:18,515 ♪ In the morning rain ♪ 441 00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:22,853 ♪ As it soaks you to the bone? ♪ 442 00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:25,605 ♪ Maybe I will never be ♪ 443 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,275 ♪ All the things that I wanna be ♪ 444 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:31,278 ♪ Now is not the time to cry ♪ 445 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,989 ♪ Now's the time to find out why ♪ 446 00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,700 ♪ I think you're the same as me ♪ 447 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,661 ♪ We see things they'll never see ♪ 448 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:44,916 ♪ You and I are gonna live forever ♪ 449 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:47,419 {\an8}♪ 450 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,546 ♪ Maybe ♪ 451 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,716 ♪ I don't really wanna know ♪ 452 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:55,427 ♪ How your garden grows ♪ 453 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:58,763 ♪ 'Cause I just wanna fly ♪ 454 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,432 ♪ Lately ♪ 455 00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:04,019 ♪ Did you ever feel the pain ♪ 456 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,605 ♪ In the morning rain ♪ 457 00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:10,775 ♪ As it soaks you to the bone? ♪ 458 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:13,570 ♪ Maybe I just wanna fly ♪ 459 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,239 ♪ Wanna live, I don't wanna die ♪ 460 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:19,075 ♪ Maybe I just wanna breathe ♪ 461 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:21,953 ♪ Maybe I just don't believe ♪ 462 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:24,789 ♪ Maybe you're the same as me ♪ 463 00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,542 ♪ We see things they'll never see ♪ 464 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:34,466 ♪ You and I are gonna live forever ♪ 465 00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:38,595 ♪ Gonna live forever ♪ 466 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,327 Bon appétit. 467 00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:15,548 Well, fuck. 468 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,468 I think I can speak on behalf of my people-- 469 00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,387 We've had enough spaghetti. 470 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:21,972 You did it, didn't you? 471 00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:23,890 You couldn't change everyone's taste buds 472 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,850 but you could make it... 473 00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,352 distasteful. 474 00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,603 It wasn't the death, was it? 475 00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,230 It was the complexity of life. 476 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,523 God, what was the point? 477 00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:32,899 If you're asking whether this was a story 478 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,652 about right and wrong, the answer is 479 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,861 I don't care. 480 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,155 So what do we do? Cells consume, Morty. 481 00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:41,783 Life itself is wrong, and that means death is right. 482 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,118 But you can't side with that. 483 00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:46,329 So you live, even when it means eating. 484 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:49,207 And Fred here really did it well. 485 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:50,667 Mmm, mmm. 486 00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:57,132 The hell is this? Where is the spaghetti? 487 00:20:57,132 --> 00:20:58,550 Why don't you go fuck yourself, Summer? 488 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,427 What? What's wrong with Salisbury steaks? 489 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:03,555 At least try them. Holy shit, this is... 490 00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:06,433 the best Salisbury steak I've ever had. 491 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,227 Mmm! Is it actually Salisbury steak? 492 00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,645 Do you want to know or not? 493 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,147 Together: No, thanks! 494 00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,607 Just so you know, it's really bad. 495 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,859 Whatever you say! 496 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:17,610 Seriously, haha, I'm not kidding. 497 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,946 I won't tell you but I need you to know the truth is horrible 498 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,907 so that if you ever find out on accident, you can't blame me! 499 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,784 Now that's a deal! Yeah! 500 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,578 Honestly, if you knew, you might kill yourselves. 501 00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:27,746 That's the last thing I'll say forever. 502 00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:30,915 Good! 503 00:21:30,915 --> 00:22:07,869 {\an8}♪ 504 00:22:07,869 --> 00:22:10,997 ♪ Gonna live forever ♪ 505 00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:19,756 That's where vacuum cleaner bags come from?! 506 00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:21,299 Oh, my God. 507 00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:23,218 Vrrrrrr! 508 00:22:23,218 --> 00:22:24,636 Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! 509 00:22:24,636 --> 00:22:27,013 Hgggggg-vvrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! 510 00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:29,974 {\an8}Did you get any of that?