1
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,261
Who’s ready for rick’s famous spaghetti?
2
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,764
- I love Spaghetti Thursdays!
- Oh my god Rick,
3
00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:17,684
- it’s like it’s better every time.
- Hell yeah, you like that?
4
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,352
That’s... a some good spaghetti!
5
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,604
Grandpa Rick,
I’m skull emoji but words.
6
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:24,065
Sauce? More sauce?
We gots the sauce.
7
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,025
Dad, you had a job interview, right?
8
00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:29,529
Bombed it. But it’s nothing
a little bolognese won’t cure.
9
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,448
Dad, this noodle is so tender.
10
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:34,951
A little spicy, a little sweet.
A little spicy, a little sweet.
11
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:36,202
It’s so nice that we’re talking,
12
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,955
you know, all talking because
we’re a family and everything,
13
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,248
and this a good time we’re having.
14
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,667
- Is there any more?
- Seconds? Thirds?
15
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,295
We spa-gots as much as you can spag-eat!
16
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:49,090
Rick, I gotta know, like,
what’s the secret ingredient?
17
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,760
God no. Why?
Why? No.
18
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,096
Why is it always this shit with you?
Of course it’s a person.
19
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,890
Rick, why couldn’t it just be spaghetti?
20
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,218
{\an8}I’m just going to say this
as simply as possible
21
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,136
{\an8}and let you not believe me,
on this planet,
22
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,138
{\an8}people that kill themselves
turn into spaghetti.
23
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:39,432
{\an8}- What?
- I know, you’re a visual learner,
24
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:40,475
{\an8}so follow me.
25
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,897
{\an8}Hi, Doctor Hotpenis,
you’re not supposed to bring patients...
26
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:49,567
{\an8}Hi, Michael, it’s okay,
this alien boy has space cancer
27
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,904
{\an8}and his dying wish is to see
deader people so he can feel superior.
28
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:53,905
{\an8}All you had to say.
29
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:56,866
{\an8}Check it out. Murdered.
30
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:57,867
{\an8}Gross.
31
00:01:58,785 --> 00:01:59,702
{\an8}Car crash.
32
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:03,373
{\an8}- And suicide.
- Rick, I don’t...
33
00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:06,000
{\an8}Wait, what is that smell?
34
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,461
{\an8}You know god damn well what it is, baby.
Get in here.
35
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:09,671
{\an8}Don’t do that!
36
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,798
{\an8}You’ve been doing it for weeks
every spaghetti night.
37
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,383
{\an8}Come on, Morty.
Choo choo plane!
38
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,467
{\an8}- Gross.
- Come on!
39
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,720
{\an8}- God damn.
- Telling you.
40
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,805
{\an8}Why? How?
41
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,558
{\an8}Their cortisol increases the starch
content in their bloodstream,
42
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,060
{\an8}changing their intestines
into one long spaghetti noodle,
43
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,729
{\an8}and the surrounding tissues into a spicy
sweet hematoma
44
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,106
{\an8}that we would call a bolognese.
45
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:32,068
{\an8}But it takes a lot of cortisol.
Like a suicidal amount.
46
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,403
{\an8}It’s almost better cold.
47
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,196
{\an8}Wouldn’t go that far,
don’t be a hipster.
48
00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:36,197
{\an8}Excuse me.
49
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:40,159
{\an8}- Are you two eating a corpse?
- It’s okay! It’s spaghetti.
50
00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:42,495
{\an8}- Morty, they don’t know what that is.
- I’m calling the police!
51
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,414
{\an8}- Before you do that, just...
- No, Rick, stop!
52
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,542
{\an8}- What? Where am I?
- In a morgue, eating bodies.
53
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,085
{\an8}- We’re what?
- Stop using that thing!
54
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,295
{\an8}What thing? Who are we?
55
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,255
{\an8}- We were just leaving.
- All you had to say.
56
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:55,466
{\an8}Whose car is this?
Whose sun visor is this? What’s a sun?
57
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,095
{\an8}Jesus, sorry,
that’s always embarrassing.
58
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,514
{\an8}But you see what I mean now?
59
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,183
{\an8}Best spaghetti in the galaxy
and it’s a hundred percent guilt-free.
60
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,476
{\an8}I wanna know their names.
61
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,437
{\an8}Who? Michael?
Coroner Number One?
62
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,480
{\an8}The people we’ve been eating
every spaghetti night!
63
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,815
{\an8}Do you even know their names?
64
00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,775
{\an8}I’m not giving you
your spaghettises’ names!
65
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,278
{\an8}You’ve found my line, Morty,
I find that ghoulish.
66
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,489
{\an8}I want their names or I’m
telling Mom and no more spaghetti night.
67
00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:20,867
You suck! Where’s the thing?
Where’s the Men in Black thing?
68
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:21,659
Names!
69
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:24,078
And if you know the fucking
names of your spaghettis, that’s it?
70
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:25,455
- This is done?
- It’s all I ask!
71
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,332
You won’t get overwhelmed
with even more guilt
72
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,875
and then demand to go
to their fucking funeral?
73
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,126
Just their names and then I’m done.
74
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,461
I promise.
75
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:36,132
- I fucking hate you.
- I just want to pay my respects.
76
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,717
The only reason you’re still alive
77
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,969
is because you don’t turn delicious
when you die.
78
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,851
Thank you for that moment of silence.
79
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,562
I’d like to open it up to
the congregation,
80
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:52,440
if anyone would like to say
a few words about Lawrence...
81
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,574
Or another moment of silence.
82
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,284
Jeez, no wonder he killed himself.
83
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:04,744
Okay let’s...
84
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:06,829
- For...
- Hi.
85
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,500
I just want to be honest
about something.
86
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,418
After Lawrence died,
87
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,419
we...
88
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,129
...ate him.
89
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,841
Wait, we’re not...
werewolves or anything,
90
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:22,762
we come from a planet, where to us,
when you guys kill yourselves,
91
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:25,139
you turn into what
my planet considers food.
92
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:26,808
Spaghetti.
93
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,226
It brought us together.
94
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,728
Lawrence. Brought us together.
95
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,481
It just felt wrong
not having anyone know that.
96
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,274
But he was delicious.
97
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,610
I hope that helps make it right.
98
00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:43,032
That should do it, buddy.
Everybody enjoy your closure.
99
00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,996
So we were eating people.
100
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,539
I’m afraid so.
101
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,916
They were so... spaghettesque.
102
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:53,710
Yes, they were.
103
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,212
It’s going to be... hard to...
104
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,964
Hard to put out of your mind, yes,
105
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,383
which is why I thought it best
to keep you all in the dark.
106
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:03,261
So... Morty ruined spaghetti night.
107
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,179
- Correct.
- Summer, it was people!
108
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:08,391
It was people, Summer.
Which is disgusting.
109
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,268
And not cool to lie about.
110
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:11,269
Correct.
111
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:15,189
But. It should also be noted,
to Morty, that it’s not cool to tattle.
112
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:16,816
- Dad!
- They were delicious.
113
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,901
- So keep eating them!
- We can’t now!
114
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,278
Because of you!
Sorry.
115
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,031
Morty. That was terrible parenting.
116
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:26,075
You did the quote unquote right thing.
117
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:29,370
We are technically very happy
to be better informed.
118
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:30,997
First octopus, now this.
119
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:34,459
Have we thought about just giving up and
joining the fascist half of the country?
120
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,669
- No!
- Just saying, they get to do more.
121
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:39,922
Well, I guess I’ll go to my room
since everyone hates me now.
122
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:45,094
- Sorry. Good night, Morty.
- Goodnight, Morty.
123
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:51,142
Hey, big boy. Are you depressed?
Mama likes depression.
124
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:57,815
I spilled my milk. Now we’re both sad.
I’m a bad family therapist farm girl.
125
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:04,655
Hello, Morty Smith.
You are invited to 41-Kepler B.
126
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,783
You know it as Spaghetti Planet.
127
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:09,494
You’re not in trouble.
We just want to talk.
128
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,038
Can that thing support my weight?
129
00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:13,289
It should.
130
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,375
Okay...
131
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,043
...up here?
132
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,296
Geez.
Ever heard of a ramp?
133
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,506
This is a ramp.
134
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,845
Hi, Morty,
I’m the president of this planet.
135
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,764
I saw the video of you at that funeral.
136
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,432
- I’m sorry.
- Don’t be.
137
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:33,643
It was quite the revelation.
138
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,479
Would you mind showing us?
139
00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:40,650
This is the "spaghetti"
of a person that took their own life.
140
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,401
They did consent to be eaten.
141
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,070
Okay.
142
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:52,495
Wow, yeah, amazing as always.
Not gonna lie.
143
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:55,581
And would you consider yourself
a typical Earthian?
144
00:06:56,207 --> 00:07:00,419
Well, on Earth, it’s considered
inferior to be typical so
145
00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:04,382
we’re all very special and different
but we definitely all do like spaghetti.
146
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,843
All eight billion of you.
147
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:11,097
Morty, how would you feel about
being a kind of ambassador?
148
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:13,015
A liaison between our worlds.
149
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:17,103
Now hold on.
I went to that funeral because...
150
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,523
Because you felt bad.
Because you didn’t have permission.
151
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:21,816
Show him.
152
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,819
My name is Tanya Radcliffe.
153
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,822
I’ve been living in pain for years,
154
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:31,450
I’ve lost all my loved ones,
I’ve got nothing.
155
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:36,164
So when doctors told me
I could finally have the "right to die"
156
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:39,000
if I agree to be dinner
for some alien boy,
157
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:43,421
I simply said, "I hope I’m delicious."
158
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:45,923
God damn.
159
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,968
And would you say
that makes it taste better?
160
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,762
It makes it go down a lot easier.
161
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:52,930
I like that.
162
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:57,894
Maybe it’s time we allow some people
the right to die and be delicious.
163
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,896
Please feel free to finish Tanya.
164
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,815
- It is what she wanted.
- No. No I think I’m good.
165
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,818
Thanks.
Tanya, you really were tasty.
166
00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,949
Actually, can I take her to go?
167
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,911
Who’s ready for more ethical spaghetti?
168
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,746
Me. I love this ethical shit.
169
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,706
Full admission, I was fine before to.
170
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:21,667
God this is so good!
Pass the Parmesan!
171
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,212
Where’s Dad? Why does he keep
missing spaghetti night?
172
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,464
I guess he got butthurt
because Morty high-roaded him
173
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:29,842
and got us the delicious spaghetti
without all the lies and nihilism.
174
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,054
And another cheer
for the added bonus of no Rick...
175
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,013
Boom.
176
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,390
Sorry to interrupt Morty’s
perfect spaghetti night,
177
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,893
- but thought he’d wanna see this.
- What the fuck is that?
178
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:44,148
"Morty-O’s Suicide Spaghetti
is 100% ethical, single-origin pasta."
179
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,608
Oh dear God.
180
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,568
Lemme guess,
you went back to the planet,
181
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,654
gave some thoughtful
insight to their leader,
182
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,073
and now they’re selling
their dead at every Space Walmart.
183
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,283
I did, but I didn’t say to do this.
184
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,285
Is this people, or not people?
185
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,497
I just need to know
how much I should pretend to be upset.
186
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,332
This seems to be ‘Roger.’
187
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,877
Hi. I’m Roger Wayne Marder.
I was a serial killer and cannibal,
188
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,088
and now I get to kill myself
and be food for you,
189
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,632
which I suppose is a silver lining
to all my misdeeds.
190
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,175
Anyway, please enjoy me.
191
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,971
So "yes" to people?
192
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,807
I mean, on the bright side,
193
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,935
I feel like one could look
at this as a really nice epilogue
194
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,645
to a story about telling the truth.
195
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,147
Care to see that epilogue?
196
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:29,902
What is all this...
197
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,488
Cans of spaghetti selling out
to every neighboring planet.
198
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,699
Wanna go see how ethical
it is down there?
199
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,119
{\an8}This is Spaghetti Planet?
200
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,162
- What happened?
- You happened.
201
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:42,456
You happened all over those billboards.
202
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,917
Oh jeez, oh no.
203
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,712
See that, they call that bridge
"The Most Scenic Jump".
204
00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:49,672
There used to be safety rails,
205
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,174
they melted them down
for giant spaghetti strainers.
206
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,678
- You wanna turn on the radio?
- I get it, it’s all Enya.
207
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:59,140
Nope, all morning Zoo teams.
Just patter. No songs.
208
00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:00,725
Oh and for TV?
209
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,853
Wall-to-wall reality television,
but not the good kind.
210
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,938
It’s like their whole planet
was bought by Discovery.
211
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,857
Jesus Christ, this is depressing.
212
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,692
That’s definitely
what they’re going for.
213
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,945
Look at this shit!
They dyed their sun institutional grey.
214
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,905
That’s not easy, kinda impressed.
215
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:17,241
And all of it is thanks to.
216
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,494
Oh god. I’m a murderer.
217
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:24,165
Oh no, Morty.
What you did was much more indirect.
218
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,002
I understand your concerns,
but look around.
219
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,504
With what’s coming
in from intergalactic spaghetti trade,
220
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:34,050
we’ve decreased our debt,
are making a lot of money.
221
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,428
We’ve got clean energy...
222
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:40,181
That space where you paused is where you
should have said "mental healthcare."
223
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:43,100
Alright, we had to put our fingers
on the scale, a little.
224
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:47,730
But if we stop this, the supply chain
crumbles and kills the global economy.
225
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,940
How many people will suffer then?
226
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:53,402
Okay, tough problem,
definitely a spicy meat-a-ball.
227
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,488
But we can fix it. Right, Rick?
228
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,032
- You mean me. You want me to fix it.
- A moment?
229
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,326
Yes, I want you to fix it.
230
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,703
None of this would have happened if
you’d been honest about the spaghetti.
231
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:05,748
Morty, I lied to protect you,
you told the truth to hurt me.
232
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,249
I can’t travel the galaxy with you
233
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:10,002
if every time we come near a fucked-up
system you leap into its wires
234
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,003
and electrocute yourself.
235
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,463
I promise to stop.
236
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,298
- You what?
- If you help me,
237
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,801
I promise I’ll never look under
the curtain at a Rick thing
238
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,552
to figure out what’s bad about it,
ever again.
239
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:19,970
And you can never say no to me.
240
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:21,847
What are you, Keith Raniere?
241
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,932
- For two weeks.
- Fine.
242
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,683
My grandson kissed my ass so I’m in.
243
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:28,854
Okay, so, w-we just need to figure
out something else besides
244
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,773
people to put in the cans, right?
245
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:34,068
But people are the spaghetti,
that’s the whole thing.
246
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,736
But what if they weren’t?
247
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,322
- I’m listening.
- Me, too.
248
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:41,742
I mean,
what if we make something like a person.
249
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,703
Like...
Rick you’re always doing clones, right?
250
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,163
What are you suggesting here?
251
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,624
A sped up lifespan
and indoctrination program?
252
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,126
Limiting their exposure to the world
253
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,628
and convincing them that becoming
spaghetti is their destiny?
254
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,094
I won’t be delicious for them!
255
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,596
I love you, CLONE-5617B!
256
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,438
That was some speed run
of Never Let Me Go.
257
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,564
Spoilers, Rick!
258
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,024
I guess all clone stories turn
out the same way.
259
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:17,820
So. We’re back to the regular people,
regular suicides?
260
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,030
No, hold on, hold on.
we can do this.
261
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,991
Maybe we make them less...
262
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,409
...people.
263
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,162
How much of a people
do they have to be to become spaghetti?
264
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,456
Grey areas. My specialty.
265
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:29,999
Subject one.
266
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,626
No frontal lobe, no empathy centers.
267
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,670
Otherwise the same
physiology as a person.
268
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,717
Unfortunately, to this guy there’s
no difference between life and death.
269
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:41,510
So, no spaghetti.
270
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,053
Then there’s this one.
271
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,848
It’s in horrible, unimaginable pain
from the moment it’s born.
272
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,516
Oh jeez, oh no, Rick!!
273
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:50,978
And so I didn’t even bother to make it
because I knew you’d take issue.
274
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:53,063
Even though you’d be doing
it a favor by ending its life.
275
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:53,856
Fuck you.
276
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,192
You might want to examine that
"Trolley Problem" at some point, Morty.
277
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,776
Anyway, here’s the last one.
278
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,362
Kept the brain stem,
internal motor functions.
279
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,656
But essentially just a headless,
boneless torso.
280
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,784
There’s spaghetti inside that?
281
00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:08,204
Theoretically, yes.
The problem is the...
282
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:09,622
You know.
283
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,000
Could you, Like.
284
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:17,046
What is that, what are you,
is this charades?
285
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,714
Okay, are you making a fist?
286
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,466
Wait is that supposed to be a phone?
287
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:22,426
Ah fuck it, just spell it out for me.
288
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,095
Maybe give them...
289
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,307
...a claw-like, hand so they can,
ya know,
290
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:31,185
- stab themselves to death?
- All you had to say.
291
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,897
Well, this is some solution
you guys have cooked up.
292
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,215
- Spaghetti!
- Technically.
293
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,258
Good enough for me.
294
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,802
We need to fill hundred thousand
cans by the weekend.
295
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:08,222
So let’s fire up these chunky boys!
296
00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:12,184
Torso’s rights! Torso’s rights!
297
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,436
The new spaghetti sucks!
298
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:16,605
We want authentic spaghetti!
299
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,818
- Were you...
- Wait, you’re gonna blow yourself up?
300
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,945
Yeah, but if you wanna do it...
301
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,114
Well, you clearly have
a morally superior position so.
302
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:26,991
Please. Go ahead.
303
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,785
You just want me to kill myself
so you can eat the spaghetti, right?
304
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,121
- Fucking alien piece of shit...
- Fuck you!
305
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,163
Fuck you!
306
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,880
How long does a society
take to collapse?
307
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,132
Let’s find out.
308
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:46,093
What’s the fucking hold-up?
309
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,345
I’ve got an entire planet
waiting on delivery.
310
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:52,099
- They say they’re out of spaghetti.
- Then let’s go down there and make some.
311
00:14:55,561 --> 00:15:01,442
Kill yourself, kill yourself,
kill yourself, kill yourself,
312
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,989
I understand. Divert half of the armed
patrols to civil unrest,
313
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,741
the other half to planetary defense.
314
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,535
Take every action
necessary to restore order.
315
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:13,787
Still didn’t hear much diverting
towards mental healthcare.
316
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,749
The brainstorming is over,
you ghoulish little corpse-eating alien.
317
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,833
You’ve helped enough.
318
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:21,879
Fuck. We owe so much spaghetti
to so many planets
319
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,464
that we’re all going to have
to kill ourselves.
320
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:24,632
Slow down, slow down.
321
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:28,427
Rick can synthesize anything he gets
a sample of, can’t we still try that?
322
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:32,806
I mean, is there anyone else left
who might wanna kill themselves?
323
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,559
There’s one, but good luck.
324
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:37,978
Two months to live.
325
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,564
Bedridden, terrible pain...
326
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:42,900
Why hasn’t he done it yet?
327
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,027
- Hey!
- Fuck you, spaghetti child!
328
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,403
- What gives?
- I’m in pain...
329
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:48,906
...and I wish I could die.
330
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,867
But I won’t feed your
sick system of profit.
331
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,453
Integrity means living with pain.
332
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:57,790
What if I told you this would
end the spaghetti trade forever?
333
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,335
- What do you mean?
- I’ll explain on the way.
334
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:12,888
Did you have a, like a...
euthanasia chamber ready to go?
335
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:13,931
It’s just a place.
336
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,187
Hey! Hey!
Everyone Stop! Stop!
337
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,148
I have a solution
to get you all spaghetti.
338
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,858
We’re gonna do this one last time.
339
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,570
This guy here, he’s gonna do the deed
and I’ll synthesize it.
340
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,281
This is the Kitty Hawk
of our Wright Brothers flight,
341
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:34,034
or the fill-in-the-blank
from your fill-in-the-planet.
342
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,578
Now, Fred?
Just think about your life.
343
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:39,289
This machine will put it on screen
for everyone to see.
344
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,458
When you’re ready, press the button.
345
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,174
- Do you think this is gonna work?
- Trust me.
346
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:16,410
Maybe, I don’t really wanna know,
347
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:19,246
How your garden grows,
348
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:22,624
Cause I just wanna fly.
349
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:27,588
Lately, did you ever feel the pain,
350
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,299
In the morning rain,
351
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:34,303
As it soaks you to the bone?
352
00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:40,350
Maybe I just wanna fly,
Wanna live I don’t wanna die,
353
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:45,939
Maybe I just wanna breathe,
Maybe I just don't believe,
354
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:51,653
Maybe you're the same as me,
We see things they'll never see,
355
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:56,366
You and I are gonna live forever.
356
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,330
I said maybe,
357
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,041
I don't really wanna know,
358
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:10,547
How your garden grows,
Cause I just wanna fly.
359
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:18,055
Lately, did you ever feel the pain,
In the morning rain,
360
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:22,893
As it soaks you to the bone?
361
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:28,232
Maybe I will never be,
All the things that I wanna be.
362
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:34,196
Now is not the time to cry,
Now's the time to find out why,
363
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:39,618
I think you're the same as me,
We see things they'll never see.
364
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:44,706
You and I are gonna live forever.
365
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:52,214
Maybe, I don't really wanna know,
366
00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:58,595
How your garden grows,
Cause I just wanna fly.
367
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:04,309
Lately, did you ever feel the pain,
368
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,562
In the morning rain,
369
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:10,190
As it soaks you to the bone?
370
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:16,238
Maybe I just wanna fly,
Wanna live, I don't wanna die,
371
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:22,244
Maybe I just wanna breathe,
Maybe I just don't believe,
372
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:27,583
Maybe you're the same as me,
We see things they'll never see,
373
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,962
You and I are gonna live forever,
374
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:37,593
Gonna live forever.
375
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:02,117
Bon appétit.
376
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,754
Well, fuck.
377
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,008
I think I can speak
on behalf of my people.
378
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:19,968
We’ve had enough spaghetti.
379
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,387
You did it, didn’t you.
380
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,140
You couldn’t change everyone’s taste,
but you could make it...
381
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:26,975
distasteful.
382
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,187
- It wasn’t the death, was it?
- It was the complexity of life.
383
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,730
God, what was the point?
384
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,399
If you’re asking whether this was
a story about right and wrong,
385
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,652
the answer is, I don’t care.
386
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,154
- So what do we do?
- Cells consume, Morty.
387
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:41,657
Life itself is wrong,
and that means death is right.
388
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,241
But you can’t side with that.
389
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,869
So you live, even when it means eating.
390
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,413
And Fred here really did it well.
391
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:57,339
The hell is this?
Where is the spaghetti?
392
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,882
Why don’t you go fuck yourself, Summer?
393
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:00,467
- What?
- What’s wrong with Salisbury Steaks?
394
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:01,468
At least try them.
395
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,261
Holy shit, this is...
396
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,473
the best Salisbury steak I’ve ever had.
397
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,684
Is it actually Salisbury steak?
398
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:10,894
Do you want to know or not?
399
00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:12,354
No thanks!
400
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,773
Just so you know, it’s really bad.
401
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,776
- Whatever you say.
- Seriously, I’m not kidding.
402
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,487
I won’t tell you but I need you
to know the truth is horrible
403
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,240
so that if you ever find out on accident
you can’t blame me.
404
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,324
Now that’s a deal.
405
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,868
Honestly if you knew
you might kill yourselves,
406
00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:28,870
- that’s the last thing I’ll say forever.
- Good!
407
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:11,371
Gonna live forever.
408
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:19,963
That’s where vacuum cleaner bags
come from?
409
00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:21,006
Oh my god.