1
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:10,344
Oh!
Um, hey, Rick.
2
00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:12,079
I was wondering
if you could help me out
3
00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:14,047
with a bit of
a rake situation.
4
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,583
A "rake situation"?
5
00:00:15,617 --> 00:00:18,285
Long story short, I asked Gene
if he borrowed my rake,
6
00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:20,688
and he said, "No," like --
like that. Like, too fast.
7
00:00:20,722 --> 00:00:23,423
Like, faster than someone should
know they don't have my rake.
8
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:26,694
I think he has my rake,
and I...
9
00:00:26,728 --> 00:00:28,328
I'm not going to
murder Gene.
10
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,965
Jerry, thank you for bringing
me into The Rake Situation.
11
00:00:30,999 --> 00:00:32,432
I've done all I can.
I'm out.
12
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,467
No surprise there.
13
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,770
All that brain,
and you just waste it.
14
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,070
H-Hold up.
15
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:39,641
I-I waste my brain?
Yeah, Rick.
16
00:00:39,674 --> 00:00:41,543
Obviously, you were
born smarter than me,
17
00:00:41,576 --> 00:00:43,745
but if I had your brain --
If you had my...
18
00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:47,515
I am so sick of this
"born smart" shit.
Are you gonna
kill me?
19
00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:50,018
I was born crying and
pissing myself, just like you.
20
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,586
Then I become the smartest man
in the universe,
21
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:52,921
and do I get credit?
22
00:00:52,954 --> 00:00:55,155
No, I get to check
my brain privilege.
23
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:56,290
So we're
swapping bodies?
24
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:57,825
No, that would be
"Freaky Friday,"
25
00:00:57,859 --> 00:00:59,861
which is the ceiling
of your grasp of consciousness.
26
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:02,964
The brain is part of the body,
Jerry. It's hardware.
27
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:05,132
I'm gonna put my mind
in your brain
28
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,701
and your mind
in my brain.
29
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,938
Then we'll see the real
definition of "waste," Jerry.
30
00:01:09,971 --> 00:01:11,305
Or, you know,
admit genius isn't random
31
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,674
and your failures
are your own.
32
00:01:12,707 --> 00:01:13,741
Oh, not doing that.
33
00:01:13,775 --> 00:01:15,375
Thought as much.
34
00:01:29,624 --> 00:01:30,658
Oh furck
35
00:01:30,692 --> 00:01:31,993
Oh, grod.
36
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,194
Wait, no!
37
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,835
Okay. Hold on.
Hold on.
38
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,670
Oh-ho-ho,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
39
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:48,776
Alright, Jerry,
you can do this.
40
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,144
Whoa!
41
00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:58,653
Medical emergency detected.
42
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,399
There goes my Thursday.
43
00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:51,438
I'm telling you, man, you're
making a big mistake here.
44
00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,841
Ha! Bigger mistake
than being a criminal?
45
00:02:53,875 --> 00:02:55,342
I'm mistake-proof.
46
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,912
Sorry to bother,
boss.
47
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,815
I caught this punk
selling crystals on our turf --
48
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,518
You big, precious moron.
49
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,653
D-Do you know who the fuck --
This is Morty.
50
00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:08,321
The kid who hangs
with Rick Sanchez.
51
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,658
Tried to warn you, man.
Rick Sanchez?
52
00:03:10,692 --> 00:03:11,859
Underworld legend?
53
00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:13,628
Chaotic neutral sci-fi guy?
Huh?
54
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:15,530
Christ, he's gonna turn me
into a sandwich.
55
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,864
What is this guy,
fuckin' new?
56
00:03:16,898 --> 00:03:18,566
Think he was
a Dylan rec, boss.
57
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,535
Well, check those
fucking references next time.
58
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,937
Whatever this kid wants to do
in our territory
59
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,038
is his business.
60
00:03:24,072 --> 00:03:25,372
Fuck. Fuck!
Call my wife.
61
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,575
We gotta prep go-bags
three through six.
62
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,510
Hey, pal. You good?
You whole?
63
00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:31,112
Y-You guys have
milkshakes?
64
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:33,514
We will learn what they are
and get you one.
65
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,621
What a turn.
66
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,890
Lucky I'm such a genius
your garage can thwart death.
67
00:03:42,924 --> 00:03:45,593
I'm the genius,
and it's your garage, idiot.
68
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,462
Hey, what the fuck
did you do to my body?
Your body?
69
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:51,833
Jerry, your mind did that
to my body using my brain.
70
00:03:51,866 --> 00:03:55,302
Jerry, my mind was in
this brain in your body.
71
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,638
Pretty easy to follow.
72
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:58,773
It shuffled us.
73
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:01,042
Shuffled you maybe.
I'm tracking everything.
74
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,275
Garage? Fix this.
75
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:04,078
Situation was fixed.
76
00:04:04,112 --> 00:04:05,412
You call this fixed?
77
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,814
This guy thinks he's me.
This guy thinks he's me.
78
00:04:06,848 --> 00:04:08,816
Let's see you fix it,
then, asshole.
79
00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:10,118
I fucking will.
80
00:04:10,151 --> 00:04:12,053
I got my lab right here.
Gimme three hours.
81
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:14,689
Oh, sure, yeah, l-like I'd ever
trust you to open my skull.
82
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:17,625
I'll fix it.
I just need to scan for -- Ow!
83
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:20,194
Like I'd trust
your fritzing R2-D2 ass.
84
00:04:20,228 --> 00:04:21,596
You'll just kill me
on purpose.
85
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,263
So that's where
my paranoia went.
86
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,433
Rick speaking.
Who is this?
87
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:29,203
Rick, it's Chuxly.
From Crimetown.
88
00:04:29,237 --> 00:04:30,571
We've met
5 or 10 times.
89
00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:32,339
Listen,
small misunderstanding.
90
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:34,609
one of my guys saw your buddy
Morty running an errand
91
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:37,545
and he brought him in,
which I told him not to do
92
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,614
but I've got Morty,
and he is fine.
93
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,849
Wait, w-what? Aren't you
describing kidnapping?
94
00:04:41,883 --> 00:04:43,350
- Morty's kidnapped?
- No, no, no.
95
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:44,786
Give me that, Jerry.
Hello? Hello?
96
00:04:44,819 --> 00:04:46,621
This is Rick Sanchez.
97
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,689
I'm using my son-in-
law's vocal cords
because I'm amazing.
98
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,958
If you touch my grandson,
I'm gonna --
99
00:04:50,992 --> 00:04:53,060
Get -- Get off me.
H-H-Hello?
100
00:04:53,094 --> 00:04:54,862
Jerry, stop.
You're fucking this up.
101
00:04:54,896 --> 00:04:56,731
You're only calling me Jerry
because you're so stupid
102
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,966
you think it's hurtful,
which it is.
103
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,333
Tell me where you are.
104
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:02,069
No, you tell them
where they are,
105
00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:04,038
like Liam Neeson.
Do not pretend
106
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,040
to explain Liam Neeson
to me. Sir.
107
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,042
Hey, Jerry,
don't touch me there.
Stop it.
108
00:05:09,544 --> 00:05:11,212
We know where you are.
We know where you are.
109
00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:15,049
My milkshake is empty!
Okay!
110
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,751
That was
so embarrassing.
111
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,119
Do you have any clue
what a pain it is
112
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,386
to cultivate
a mystique?
113
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,189
Yeah, I do.
It's my mystique,
114
00:05:21,222 --> 00:05:23,456
and you're just cultivating
Jerry's shame.
115
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,492
What is with my hair?
Leave it.
Don't.
116
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,161
Why do you care
about hair, nerd?
117
00:05:27,195 --> 00:05:28,663
Be quiet for a second,
118
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,430
I need to think through
all these chunks of moron.
119
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,266
Okay, you stay here.
Touch nothing.
120
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:33,534
I'll get Morty.
Ha!
121
00:05:33,568 --> 00:05:35,002
I'm not letting you
get Morty killed
122
00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:36,737
and our brains
blown out twice.
123
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,973
Car, electrocute Jerry
if he gets in the front seat.
124
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,642
Car, engage castration protocol
right now.
125
00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:43,644
Figure out
how to drive me together
126
00:05:43,678 --> 00:05:47,181
or I will have
to kill you both.
127
00:05:47,215 --> 00:05:49,717
Ugh! What are we,
a 1930s comedy act?
128
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,586
Stop swerving.
You're swerving.
129
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:53,788
Alright, when we get there,
let me do the talking.
130
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,756
Yeah, I know, because you look
the most like us.
131
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,491
I'm not stupid.
Ho-ho!
I beg to differ.
132
00:05:58,526 --> 00:05:59,694
Screw you, Half Jerry.
133
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,494
You're a Half Jerry!
You're a Half Jerry!
134
00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,100
Looks like
he's inbound, boss.
135
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,135
Okay, he is in a bad mood,
136
00:06:08,169 --> 00:06:11,239
so we are kissing ass
until our lips are ass-colored.
137
00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:12,640
Straighten that pillow.
138
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,474
He might hate crooked pillows.
I don't know.
139
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:19,614
Nice parking job, assdick.
You scratched my car.
140
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,048
Rick!
141
00:06:21,082 --> 00:06:23,618
And -- And, uh,
Rick's friend.
142
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,887
This is my...assassin.
143
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,890
Deadliest man in the galaxy,
and he's gay.
Why am I gay?
144
00:06:28,923 --> 00:06:31,859
Whoa. Hey.
Whoa. Why aren't you?
Sorry about that.
145
00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:32,827
Sorry. Sorry.
146
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,494
Well, I got Morty
right here,
147
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,130
happy as a milkshake.
148
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,798
And since we interrupted
your day,
149
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,634
Morty's got
10,000 croutons.
150
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,535
That's slang for crystals.
Morty, show him.
151
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,204
We know
what croutons are.
Ey! Tsh.
152
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,338
Why is Dad here?
153
00:06:44,372 --> 00:06:46,574
Your Dad's
a gay assassin?
154
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,677
So cool and ordinary.
Sorry. S-Sorry.
155
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,478
I appreciate you trying
to make good,
156
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,147
but you cost me
10 times that much.
157
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,548
It doesn't matter,
Rick.
158
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:55,983
The guy's already
kissing your ass.
159
00:06:56,017 --> 00:06:57,885
It's the ass kissers
you have to keep in line.
160
00:06:57,919 --> 00:06:59,486
When they sense weakness,
they move on you.
161
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,988
What are we,
Walter White?
162
00:07:01,022 --> 00:07:03,557
Who cares if a mid-tier
crime dork "moves" on us?
163
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,826
Thank you for the crystals.
Morty, get in the car.
164
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,396
Actually, Morty, why don't you
leave those crystals here
165
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,698
since it's such
an insulting amount.
166
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:11,933
There it is.
167
00:07:11,966 --> 00:07:13,701
Now he's thinking,
"Oh, maybe I can kill God."
168
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,102
Yeah, because God
doesn't haggle
169
00:07:15,136 --> 00:07:17,171
for 10,000
fucking croutons.
170
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:18,372
Look,
here's the deal.
171
00:07:18,406 --> 00:07:19,807
I'm Rick,
that's my son-in-law,
172
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,575
and we're all
a little gay.
173
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:22,977
-Yeah.
-It's a spectrum.
174
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,445
Morty, it's me, Rick.
Get in the car.
175
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:26,714
Don't get in the car,
Morty.
176
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,182
And put
the briefcase down.
177
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,717
Morty,
get in the car twice,
178
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,385
once for each
five additional briefcases
179
00:07:31,419 --> 00:07:32,753
this asshole owes us.
180
00:07:32,787 --> 00:07:34,789
Stop doing this
terrible impression of me!
181
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,489
Look, at this point,
we're bad gangsters
182
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,625
if we don't
roll the dice.
183
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,293
Everybody,
start killing 'em!
184
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,229
What have you two
assholes done?
185
00:07:42,263 --> 00:07:44,165
It's okay.
It's a nice restaurant.
186
00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:46,567
Whoa.
Shit!
Crime restaurant!
187
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,869
Oh, my God!
Am I really about to die
188
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:51,038
because you botched
a "Freaky Friday"?
Yes.Yes.
189
00:07:51,072 --> 00:07:52,472
Whoever you are,
you're in Rick's body.
190
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:53,674
Use your implants.
191
00:07:53,708 --> 00:07:55,276
I'm trying.
Half my brain is the guy
192
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,878
that still needs your mom to use
the electric wine opener.
193
00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:00,815
H-Hang on. I think I got it.
194
00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:03,918
Right,
from my Conehead phase.
195
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,320
Awesome fucking movie.
Incredible cast.
196
00:08:06,354 --> 00:08:07,521
God damn it.
197
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,357
I'm shooting my way
back to the car.
198
00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:10,658
Ugh, way to go.
199
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,793
Now my son
and grandson hates us.
200
00:08:12,827 --> 00:08:15,096
He's my son
and grandson, too.
201
00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:18,599
Huh. We do share an agenda,
in that sense.
202
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:21,035
Let's hope
you share my aim.
203
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:25,272
♪ Fall is here,
hear the yell ♪
204
00:08:25,306 --> 00:08:27,808
♪ Back to school,
ring the bell ♪
205
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:30,444
♪ Brand new shoes,
walking blues ♪
206
00:08:30,478 --> 00:08:32,847
♪ Climb the fence,
books and pens ♪
207
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,649
♪ I can tell
that we are gonna be friends ♪
208
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:36,984
Hey, get up here!
209
00:08:37,018 --> 00:08:39,220
Said the throat
to the hand.
Oh! Oh!
210
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:42,256
You might feel a pinch
and maybe a rocket.
211
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,525
You'll have to aim.
Hop on!
212
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:50,498
♪ I can tell
that we are gonna be friends ♪
213
00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:55,803
♪ I can tell
that we are gonna be friends ♪
214
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:58,239
You Coneheaded son of a bitch.
215
00:08:58,272 --> 00:08:59,407
Can't believe
that worked.
216
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,008
I wish they did that
in the movie.
217
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,910
Jesus fucking Christ.
218
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,945
Huh, should've done something
with my hands.
219
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,982
Morty, gotta push or pull.
Your call.
220
00:09:11,786 --> 00:09:13,320
What the hell?
What happened?
221
00:09:13,354 --> 00:09:15,956
T-They made us stop
at every drive-thru
chain in the galaxy,
222
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:17,825
so they could make
one giant burger
223
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,427
with a patty
from each place.
224
00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:20,828
I guess I meant
before that.
225
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,329
Brains got
a little mixed up.
226
00:09:22,363 --> 00:09:23,831
But we're gonna swap back.
Don't worry.
227
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,733
Just didn't wanna build
a neural interface
228
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,368
on an empty stomach,
right?
229
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:28,936
Wait, you guys did
a brain swap?
230
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,838
Don't bother chiding
until they're unshuffled,
231
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,940
neither one
is Dad or Rick.
232
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,108
Huh.
233
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:37,478
I guess I'm thrilled
you guys are getting along?
234
00:09:37,512 --> 00:09:39,180
Let's keep
that going
235
00:09:39,213 --> 00:09:41,816
when those brains
get back in their bodies.
236
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:44,051
Whoa, going for
the electro-pneumatic diodes.
237
00:09:44,085 --> 00:09:46,387
Wild man.
Only gonna
build this once.
238
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,089
Gotta do it
with style.
239
00:09:48,122 --> 00:09:50,491
I think we can
up the wattage.
240
00:09:50,525 --> 00:09:52,126
Hey, another beer?
241
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,261
It's about the journey,
brother.
Ah, Rick used to hate
242
00:09:54,295 --> 00:09:56,897
that kind of hang-loose
McConaughey platitude,
243
00:09:56,931 --> 00:09:59,867
but he was also just gonna spend
today grumpy and isolated.
244
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,902
And Jerry'd still be hung up
about the rake.
245
00:10:01,936 --> 00:10:04,205
The rake.
Oh, my God, should we do it?
246
00:10:04,238 --> 00:10:05,507
W-We've gotta do it.
247
00:10:05,540 --> 00:10:07,241
Oh, yeah.
248
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,376
Alright,
that should do it.
249
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,450
Whoa.
250
00:10:16,484 --> 00:10:19,386
Son of a bitch.
Classic Gene.
Huh.
251
00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:20,788
Crazy. T-This is
the kind of thing
252
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,089
that used to really
piss me off.
253
00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:24,492
Yeah. Now it's
just kinda funny.
254
00:10:24,526 --> 00:10:27,862
Ooh, you wanna replace it
with a holographic rake?
Oh, that'd be fun.
255
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,663
He'd get confused
trying to pick it up.
256
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:32,500
Eh. I guess
I don't even wanna do that.
257
00:10:32,534 --> 00:10:35,402
I just want to live.
I want Gene to live.
258
00:10:35,436 --> 00:10:37,071
I want all of us
to make mistakes
259
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,974
and change all the time.
Amen to that, brother.
260
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,810
Kinda thought two geniuses
would build faster than one.
261
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,012
When do I start being
concerned about this?
262
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,348
Just having a little fun
with my new friend, sweetie.
263
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:48,482
Who is talking to me
right now?
264
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,784
Mostly my dad
or mostly my husband?
265
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,319
Oof, I've been
on that website.
266
00:10:52,353 --> 00:10:53,555
Look,
I've been patient,
267
00:10:53,588 --> 00:10:56,558
but I can't tell
how to get mad at who.
268
00:10:56,591 --> 00:10:59,727
No one enters my room
or touches me until
this is wrapped up.
269
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,363
Eww.
What do you take me for?
Ugh, Beth, gross, ugh.
270
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,902
I want you to know,
when this is over,
271
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,803
the guy in this body
is gonna yell at Jerry
272
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,138
and call him useless.
273
00:11:11,172 --> 00:11:12,072
Really lay into him.
274
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:13,575
But he won't always
mean it.
275
00:11:13,608 --> 00:11:15,809
Well, cards on the table,
the guy in this body
276
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,279
might call Rick
an angry old asshole.
277
00:11:18,312 --> 00:11:21,682
But he's the closest thing
Jerry has to a friend.
278
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,050
This was fun.
279
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,252
Rick would never have been
able to admit that.
280
00:11:25,286 --> 00:11:26,820
Yeah.
It's a shame
281
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,323
those guys had to become us
to be happy.
282
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:40,901
Kids,
breakfast and school.
283
00:11:40,935 --> 00:11:42,269
If we don't at least
pretend they matter,
284
00:11:42,303 --> 00:11:43,470
everything falls apart.
285
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,340
Jerry?
286
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,242
Dad?
287
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:49,644
Th-They left a note.
288
00:11:49,678 --> 00:11:52,012
Should we read it
in Rick's voice or Dad's?
289
00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:54,048
"Dear family, we thought
about leaving a note.
290
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,383
But then one of us was like,
'Why are we leaving a note?'
291
00:11:56,417 --> 00:11:58,085
That's such a Jerry thing
to do.
292
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,254
But if we didn't leave a note,
that's such a Rick thing to do.
293
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,223
And then we realized,
we just gotta be us.
294
00:12:02,256 --> 00:12:05,893
So it's a note but it's not
really well thought out."
295
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:08,362
That's it? They got out
a pen and a paper for this?
296
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,931
Hey, did you guys
get a note, too?
297
00:12:10,965 --> 00:12:12,366
Mine's really long.
298
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:17,137
Beautiful day to be
carrying glass, huh?
299
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,940
I can't believe a dying kid
would wish for a window.
300
00:12:19,974 --> 00:12:21,543
Damn it!
301
00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:23,978
Hey! Stop them!
They stole our crystals!
302
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,479
Yeah!
We stole those first!
303
00:12:25,513 --> 00:12:28,249
Possession is 9/10
of my ass!
304
00:12:29,984 --> 00:12:31,418
Look at this
pancake butt.
305
00:12:31,452 --> 00:12:33,354
Stop. You're gonna
make me fart.
306
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,763
Hey!
That's for sipping!
307
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,032
So are my balls.
Here's a tip, lady.
308
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:47,334
Life tastes better
when you're chugging.
309
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,042
You were in a tree?
310
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,511
Really gambled
on this escape route.
311
00:12:56,544 --> 00:12:58,912
Says the guy with a goon
on his back.
312
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,249
Forget it, Burger.
313
00:13:02,283 --> 00:13:04,418
It's our calling card.
314
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,989
Oh,
r-really called that one.
315
00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:11,526
Eh, one of us
always gets shot.
316
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,363
God damn it.
317
00:13:16,397 --> 00:13:20,234
Hey. You'll never guess
who just ripped us off.
318
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,370
Oh, wow.
Good guess.
319
00:13:23,404 --> 00:13:25,005
- Whoa!
- Oh, man.
320
00:13:25,039 --> 00:13:27,207
24 crystal heists
in 24 hours!
321
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:29,043
We're two farts
in the wind, baby!
322
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:31,378
Yeaahh!
Do your Howard Dean scream.
323
00:13:31,412 --> 00:13:32,813
Yeaahh!
324
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:36,483
5:00 somewhere.
5:00 somewhere.
325
00:13:36,518 --> 00:13:37,851
God damn, look at us.
326
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:40,087
No rules.
No responsibilities.
327
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,989
Just two best friends
on the run.
328
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,792
Yeaahh!
Yeaahh!
329
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:46,327
The voice mailbox for...
330
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,429
Uh, wait.
Wait, wait, wait. Did it beep?
331
00:13:48,462 --> 00:13:49,631
Uh, my name is Jer--
332
00:13:49,664 --> 00:13:51,098
...is full.
Goodbye.
333
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,133
Looks like
we just missed them.
334
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:56,170
So they just stick burgers
in dead guy's mouths now?
335
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,305
In dead criminal's mouths,
Summer.
336
00:13:58,339 --> 00:13:59,708
You're defending them?
337
00:13:59,741 --> 00:14:01,308
Well, they were my husband
and father.
338
00:14:01,342 --> 00:14:03,143
Thanks for the tip, Blarb.
It's weird.
339
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:05,045
Most of my underworld contacts
are ghosting me.
340
00:14:05,079 --> 00:14:06,781
My pleasure, Morty.
341
00:14:06,815 --> 00:14:09,249
I should be thanking you
for making me rich.
342
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:11,352
Wait. I-I didn't
pay you for this.
343
00:14:11,385 --> 00:14:12,853
Yeah, these guys did.
344
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:22,831
What's the problem, kid?
Conehead got your tongue?
345
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:25,132
Ch-Ch-Chuxly?
You're alive?
346
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,434
Did this guy
always have a hole,
347
00:14:27,468 --> 00:14:28,869
or is that a big reveal?
348
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,340
Yeehaw!
Everything should be
in a swamp.
349
00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:36,110
Working with y'all was
a plum-fool idea.
350
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,278
Burger & Fries.
Who the hell is this?
351
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,648
Just an average
mid-tier crime dork.
352
00:14:40,682 --> 00:14:42,216
Chuxly?
You're alive?
353
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,586
Shut up. I got something
you might wanna hear.
354
00:14:44,619 --> 00:14:47,421
Caught your family
out looking for you.
355
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:50,157
What do you want?
We've smoked
most of what we stole.
356
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,627
I just want you,
both of you.
357
00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:55,162
Or I smoke your family.
358
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,164
Eh, what am I saying?
Sure, bring money, too.
359
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,032
One hour.
360
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:02,369
Shit. Guess we should shoot
the fuel tank, huh?
361
00:15:03,538 --> 00:15:07,408
You guys coulda done
that the whole time?
362
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:21,656
So. What now?
363
00:15:21,689 --> 00:15:23,792
Hey,
remember how we met?
364
00:15:23,825 --> 00:15:26,927
That non-rescue of Morty?
365
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,797
We were thinking
we were different
366
00:15:28,830 --> 00:15:31,866
and -- and accusing each other
of being bad,
367
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:35,670
but Morty reminded us
we both love our family.
368
00:15:35,703 --> 00:15:38,472
And it brought us
together.
369
00:15:39,774 --> 00:15:41,341
Let's do this.
370
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,745
Well, if we're gonna
do it right,
371
00:15:43,778 --> 00:15:47,147
we might as well use
our best idea.
372
00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:49,684
You guys comfortable?
No? Good.
373
00:15:49,717 --> 00:15:51,285
Who are you?
What is this place?
374
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,387
And does my son sell drugs
for my father?
375
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:55,590
Hm, maybe criminals
will actually be honest with me.
376
00:15:55,623 --> 00:15:57,024
Crystals can be anything,
Mom.
377
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,627
Yeah, but these crystals
are drugs.
Morty!
378
00:16:01,195 --> 00:16:02,931
Here we go, boys.
This is it.
379
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,599
- Jerry?
- Rick?
380
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,400
Grandpa?
Jesus Christ.
381
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:10,003
- Morty. Summer. Daughterwife.
- You are safe now.
382
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:13,207
Holy shit. All the positive
aspects of each,
383
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,975
perfectly melded
together?
384
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:18,278
Yes. I am Jerricky.
Wa-chah!
385
00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:21,148
Alright, boys, nothing could
have prepared us for this.
386
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,751
At this point we gotta
shoot and hope.
387
00:16:23,785 --> 00:16:26,788
Also,
everything's flammable.
388
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,704
Hey, guys,
little help?
389
00:16:52,847 --> 00:16:55,215
Gotta split?
390
00:16:56,584 --> 00:16:57,785
I'm sorry, Chux.
391
00:16:57,819 --> 00:16:59,954
I started this.
It's all my fault.
392
00:16:59,988 --> 00:17:01,221
Solid apology, new guy.
393
00:17:01,255 --> 00:17:03,591
If we live through this,
you're off the hook.
394
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:07,729
Nice shot, Morty.
395
00:17:07,762 --> 00:17:09,697
Eh,
everything's flammable.
396
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,401
Aghh.
What a family.
397
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,371
You got shot?
No, no, no.
398
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,874
The stitches,
they never really set.
399
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:22,042
What can I say?
I'm a workaholic.
400
00:17:23,945 --> 00:17:26,113
Agh.
I knew this day would come.
401
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,282
Chuxly,
this is a good death.
402
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,818
You sought mastery
over your world.
403
00:17:30,852 --> 00:17:33,353
No, no.
I-I-I stepped out of line.
404
00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:36,356
I thought I could kill God.
405
00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:39,159
Being a boss
in a crime world -- oof.
406
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,929
So much stress.
407
00:17:40,962 --> 00:17:42,964
Honestly, Jerricky,
it's a relief
408
00:17:42,997 --> 00:17:45,733
to die in your four arms.
409
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:47,735
Final meal?
410
00:17:49,303 --> 00:17:51,338
Mmm, mm.
411
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,908
How -- H-How old is this?
412
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,351
Can we turn on
the radio?
413
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:06,119
At this point,
I'd even take a podcast.
414
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:10,658
Do you not hear the symphony
of atoms dying in space?
415
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,227
Um, no?
416
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:20,467
Good.
You are here.
417
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,770
I have modified
the house defenses.
418
00:18:22,804 --> 00:18:26,473
They will ensure the mob
never bothers you again.
419
00:18:26,507 --> 00:18:28,776
Oh. Thanks.
420
00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:30,310
This is killing me.
421
00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:32,212
I-I thought when you came
to rescue us
422
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,681
you learned to love us
more than ever.
423
00:18:33,715 --> 00:18:35,049
Y-You learned
the opposite?
424
00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:37,384
Burger & Fries learned
to love each other,
425
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,487
then sacrificed themselves
out of love for you.
426
00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:43,524
I am Jerricky, and I only need
to love myself.
427
00:18:43,558 --> 00:18:45,893
You can't actually be
leaving, right?
428
00:18:45,927 --> 00:18:47,494
Like the crows thing?
429
00:18:47,528 --> 00:18:49,530
They're my dad and grandpa.
Y-You can't just take them.
430
00:18:49,564 --> 00:18:51,666
Your dad and grandpa are dead,
Morty.
431
00:18:51,699 --> 00:18:54,902
They died arguing with
each other about their brains.
432
00:18:56,037 --> 00:18:57,905
'Scuse me.
Are -- Are you Jerry?
433
00:18:57,939 --> 00:19:00,008
Sorry, you have
one of his heads.
434
00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:01,676
I am Jerricky.
435
00:19:01,709 --> 00:19:04,277
May as well have
your rake back, then.
436
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:05,880
That's right.
I took it.
437
00:19:05,913 --> 00:19:08,783
I ask myself, "Why lie about it?
Don't you think he knows?
438
00:19:08,816 --> 00:19:10,985
Couldn't I get my own?"
Of course I could've,
439
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:14,689
but God damn it, this rake,
it kept my neighbors in my life.
440
00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:17,324
You guys don't give
a Goddamn shit about Gene.
441
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,695
But I see
that won't help me any longer.
442
00:19:20,728 --> 00:19:22,063
Here.
443
00:19:22,096 --> 00:19:24,431
You are no longer obligated
in such a way.
444
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,400
I'm gonna give it back
anyway.
445
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,770
Just seems like
the right thing to do.
446
00:19:28,803 --> 00:19:30,337
Okay.
447
00:19:36,644 --> 00:19:37,612
-Aw.
-Aw.
-Oh shit.
448
00:19:37,645 --> 00:19:39,814
You think a rake
will change my mind?
449
00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:41,448
Well, it's fucking lame,
okay?
450
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,151
Both of you walking out
on Mom?
451
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:46,621
I thought you had two sets
of balls, not zero.
452
00:19:46,654 --> 00:19:48,321
Our balls are adeq--
453
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,591
Morty,
we're still in here!
454
00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:52,426
There's a memory of myself
as a 30-year-old.
455
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,562
He kept our egos intact.
He saved us.
456
00:19:54,595 --> 00:19:56,130
It was a whole
action movie, Morty.
457
00:19:56,164 --> 00:19:57,397
Memory Rick,
he's still trapped in here.
458
00:19:57,431 --> 00:19:59,567
Quick, tackle
this fucking thing!
459
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,936
Garage!
Garage! Help us!
Hold him down!
Hold him down!
460
00:20:04,438 --> 00:20:07,041
Nicely prepared eggs.
461
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:09,342
I still can't taste anything.
462
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:10,545
Awesome adventure,
Rick.
463
00:20:10,578 --> 00:20:11,879
Jerry,
being shuffled with me
464
00:20:11,913 --> 00:20:14,214
was probably the best part
of your sad existence.
465
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,550
A brush with greatness.
466
00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:17,685
Please, like you didn't
get an upgrade.
467
00:20:17,719 --> 00:20:19,787
What was it like
having integrity for once?
468
00:20:19,821 --> 00:20:22,557
Hey, Beth, how much integrity
is left on the mortgage?
469
00:20:22,590 --> 00:20:24,291
I-I think it's clear
you both love each other
470
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,760
more than you're willing
to admit.
471
00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:27,995
Dumb. Fucking dumb.
Go pick up crystals for me.
472
00:20:28,029 --> 00:20:29,463
You don't have to do that,
Morty.
473
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:32,100
No, it's -- it's okay.
I-I like doing it.
474
00:20:32,133 --> 00:20:34,468
Welp, those horses
won't sew themselves up,
475
00:20:34,502 --> 00:20:37,237
but good to have
you both back.
Yeah. Whatever.
476
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,607
Great, so I still wind up
stuck with Jerry's dumb ass?
477
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,076
Oh, fuck you. Eat your eggs
that my wife bought.
478
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,410
How about you eat
my shit,
479
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:44,679
you Hawaiian-shirt-loving
twat?
480
00:20:44,712 --> 00:20:46,647
Uncalled for!
Rude and uncalled for!
481
00:20:46,681 --> 00:20:48,549
You sit there with
your potty mouth
482
00:20:48,583 --> 00:20:50,118
and do everything but help.
Jerry,
it's not my fault
483
00:20:50,151 --> 00:20:51,853
that nobody respects you
in here.
Oh, yeah.
484
00:20:51,886 --> 00:20:53,121
Your own kids think --
You could help,
but you don't.
485
00:20:53,154 --> 00:20:54,421
I was busy, Jerry.
486
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,757
I was working on something
very important.
487
00:20:55,790 --> 00:20:57,625
♪ Brand new shoes,
walking blues ♪
488
00:20:57,658 --> 00:21:00,027
♪ Climb the fence,
books and pens ♪
489
00:21:00,061 --> 00:21:04,899
♪ I can tell
that we are gonna be friends ♪
490
00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:09,469
♪ I can tell
that we are gonna be friends ♪
491
00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:15,342
♪ Walk with me, Suzy Lee ♪
492
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,678
♪ Through the park
and by the tree ♪
493
00:21:17,712 --> 00:21:19,847
♪ We will rest
upon the ground ♪
494
00:21:19,881 --> 00:21:22,583
♪ And look at
all the bugs we found ♪
495
00:21:22,617 --> 00:21:25,953
♪ Safely walk to school
without a sound ♪
496
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:32,392
♪ Safely walk to school
without a sound ♪
497
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:37,464
♪ I can tell
that we are gonna be friends ♪
498
00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:42,103
♪ I can tell
that we are gonna be friends ♪
499
00:21:42,136 --> 00:21:44,739
And of course,
there's a space shuttles.
500
00:21:44,772 --> 00:21:47,575
Can you believe that
giant thing actually flies?
501
00:21:47,608 --> 00:21:49,844
Well, of course it can.
It's a space shuttles.
502
00:21:49,877 --> 00:21:53,114
And over here is some stuff
about Thomas Jefferson.
503
00:21:53,147 --> 00:21:55,216
Come on, students.
504
00:21:55,249 --> 00:21:59,687
Day 8 of attempting
to escape Jerry's mind.
505
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,256
It has become increasingly
clear my daughter married a man
506
00:22:02,290 --> 00:22:07,061
who remembers all technology as
powered by springs and gears.
507
00:22:07,094 --> 00:22:08,395
How did I get here?
508
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:09,864
I suspect a chunk
of Rick's brain
509
00:22:09,897 --> 00:22:12,767
got merged
with a chunk of Jerry's.
510
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,837
But did Rick maroon me
by accident?
511
00:22:15,870 --> 00:22:17,705
Or on purpose?
512
00:22:17,738 --> 00:22:22,810
Escape remains possible
but increasingly unlikely.
513
00:22:24,912 --> 00:22:26,314
Oh, hey,
Memory Rick.
514
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:28,415
Building more sculptures
out of springs and gears?
515
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,718
Fuck off,
Memory Gene.
516
00:22:32,153 --> 00:22:33,688
Did you get any of that?