1 00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:03,468 Morty's on Jessica's Instagram again. 2 00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:04,603 Get out of here, jerk! 3 00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:05,870 What's so embarrassing, Morty? 4 00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:07,272 Sharing it with your family might help. 5 00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:08,941 Summer, stop shaming your brother. 6 00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:11,410 Morty, stop being a creepy, perverted cyberstalker. 7 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,077 I'm not cyberstalking! 8 00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,948 I-I-I just wanted to know where she got this necklace from. 9 00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,149 And now I know. 10 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:19,217 Her -- Her -- Her grandma left it to her. 11 00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:20,485 You're quiet, Rick. 12 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,755 Shouldn't you be revealing grandmas aren't real? 13 00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:25,890 Hi. I've placed an auto-response chip in my brain 14 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,026 so I can spend time with my family. 15 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,629 But you are spending time with your family. 16 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:31,830 Thank you for talking to Rick. 17 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:32,965 [ Beep ] [ Gasps ] 18 00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,299 Alright, I'm finished with my breakfast 19 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:36,100 and my Amazon wish list. Let's go, Morty. 20 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,436 I need death crystals from Forbodulon Prime. 21 00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:39,704 Uh... 22 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,975 Dad? There's a way we do this now. 23 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:46,311 Morty, would you please accompany me 24 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,114 to Forbodulon Prime for death crystals? 25 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:54,319 Well, thank you for asking. Yes, I will do that. 26 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,788 It is a hot photo. 27 00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:58,190 I think grief flushes your cheeks. 28 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,192 Dad, you hardly put any syrup on. 29 00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,926 Honey, stop raising your father's cholesterol 30 00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:03,595 so you can take a hot funeral selfie. 31 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,397 I never get to do anything. 32 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:14,473 ♪♪ 33 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:23,748 ♪♪ 34 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:32,891 ♪♪ 35 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:37,295 [ Electricity crackles ] 36 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,831 ♪♪ 37 00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,165 Uh, Rick, maybe if we go a little -- 38 00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:41,566 Faster? Good idea, Morty. 39 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,302 It'll get us through these asteroids sooner. 40 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,805 [ Whooshing ] 41 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,176 [ Bottles clatter ] 42 00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:53,645 Geez, you're really this pissed about my mom making sure 43 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,047 I'm okay with our adventures? 44 00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:56,715 What's next, Morty? What if I want you to jump off 45 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,117 the Empire State Building? I have to ask? Yes? 46 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,586 And you seriously don't see how that's a slippery slope? 47 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:03,988 Just shut up and help me with these, please. 48 00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:05,457 Why are they called death crystals? 49 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,725 D-Do they kill you? 50 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,193 You're thinking of bullets, Morty. 51 00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:11,063 Death crystals show you how you're gonna die. 52 00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:14,332 [ Whimpering, screaming ] 53 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:17,202 Jesus Christ! I-I die a million times? 54 00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:19,137 Your future stems from your [burps] present, 55 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,339 which, if you're living right, keeps changing. 56 00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,542 Truth is, anyone that knows how they're definitely gonna die 57 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,744 is either boring as hell or about to get shot. 58 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,880 Duck! 59 00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:29,081 Who are those guys?! 60 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,615 Rick: Crystal poachers. 61 00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:32,084 There's no lower form of life. 62 00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,687 They think the galaxy's their own personal piggy bank. 63 00:02:34,689 --> 00:02:36,421 Wait, then what are we? 64 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:37,690 We're Rick and Morty. 65 00:02:37,692 --> 00:02:40,492 You're about to witness the only real use for these crystals. 66 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,561 They show you when the other guy's reloading. 67 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:46,565 Certain death, certain death, certain death, uncertain death. 68 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,101 [ Lasers zapping ] 69 00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:51,904 And certain death, certain death, certain death. 70 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:53,438 Definitely gonna get shot by this guy; 71 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,040 this is totally my fate; nothing I could possibly do; 72 00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:58,110 okay, now, not so much. 73 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:01,113 Help me gather these up. 74 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,787 You just use these to win fights? I don't use them. 75 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,323 People that spend their life avoiding death are already dead. 76 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:14,726 They're also rich, and I like to spend my life with their money. 77 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,061 Oh, my God. Morty! 78 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,663 Jessica! [ Laughing ] Oh! 79 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:19,998 I love you. 80 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,866 Oh! Whoa! Whoa! 81 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,936 Morty. Oh! Oh! Oh! 82 00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,270 I love you. 83 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:30,142 Jessica. I want to die with Jessica. 84 00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:36,214 [ Death crystals rattling ] 85 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,749 Ahh! What are you doing? 86 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,152 Oh, um, c-can I drive? Why? 87 00:03:40,154 --> 00:03:42,755 The...feel of the open road? 88 00:03:42,757 --> 00:03:44,623 Alright! Who's this grandson? 89 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,959 I like his style. [ Keys jingle ] 90 00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:49,428 Morty, you know outer space is up, right? Yeah, yeah. 91 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:52,831 I'm just, uh, following...my...instincts. 92 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,499 Will you just go up? Stop! 93 00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:56,568 You're gonna make me die wrong! Wait a minute, what? 94 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,370 Morty, do you have a death crystal in your pocket? 95 00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,904 No! Maybe! You little monster! 96 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,106 I thought you were masturbating! 97 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,174 And you took that in stride?! 98 00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:03,175 You'd rather I address it?! 99 00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,576 Why would I be doing it?! 100 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,778 Why would you steal a death crystal?! 101 00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:06,779 I want to die old! 102 00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:07,912 Then stop driving! 103 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:08,913 No! You son of a bitch! 104 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,382 Give me the wheel, Morty. 105 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,916 Goddamn it. 106 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,819 [ Splat ] 107 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,424 [ Electricity crackles ] 108 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:23,328 Ohhh, shit. 109 00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:25,597 Oh, [bleep], oh, [bleep], oh, [bleep], oh, [bleep]. 110 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,200 -I love you, Morty. -[ Sighs ] 111 00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:30,803 I will avenge my death. 112 00:04:30,805 --> 00:04:32,471 Holy [bleep]! Just kidding. 113 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,606 I'm a crisis detection and correction hologram 114 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,942 generated by a chip that "real" Rick put in your spine. 115 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,079 "Real" in quotes because calling density-privileged entities 116 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,547 "real" is incredibly holo-phobic. 117 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,150 Morty, do me a solid -- problematic wordplay aside -- 118 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,085 grab the gun with the blue handle from the trunk 119 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:50,823 and get a tissue sample from the corpse. 120 00:04:50,825 --> 00:04:52,024 [ Device beeps ] 121 00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:53,425 Alright, now take that to the trunk 122 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:57,229 and insert it into the clone compiler. 123 00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:59,498 I see you appear to be holding a death crystal 124 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,633 that's guiding your decisions more than I am. 125 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,368 That's your right. 126 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,704 I just want to remind you that some people can't hold anything 127 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:08,907 and can never die, so that's a little offensive to -- 128 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:12,377 [ Engine starts ] Oh, okay. 129 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:14,779 Listen, I'm programmed for tolerance, Morty. 130 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,581 So I'm willing to accept that you're doing this 131 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,084 if you're willing to accept that you need to stop. 132 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,255 [ Whirring ] 133 00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,323 Accepting. Rerouted. 134 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:29,928 Backup. Data. Operation. Phoenix. Initiated. 135 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,396 [ Coughing ] 136 00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:35,534 What the hell? I axed this protocol. 137 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,135 What are you doing with my clone? 138 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,603 It's okay. I'm you. 139 00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,139 I took my own clone vat offline a couple seasons ago, 140 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,808 so I think my backup got rerouted to your universe. 141 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,078 I'm sorry. All good. Happy to help. 142 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,280 By the way, annoying that I even have to ask, 143 00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:52,350 but you are down with fascist dystopias, right? 144 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,688 [ Dramatic music plays ] 145 00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,956 YYYYYes. 146 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,491 That "yes" was pretty... [ Gun cocks ] 147 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,760 ...liberal with the letter "Y." 148 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,828 Well, isn't this strange. 149 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,164 I trust, the kind of strange that makes Rick and Morty... 150 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,499 [ Gun cocks ] ...stronger. 151 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,634 Morty, I caught this socialist in my bathrobe. 152 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,236 He wants to give all of our martinis 153 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:12,437 to a family of immigrants. 154 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:13,972 Obviously, the most likely imposter 155 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,174 is the wet, naked clone. It is obvious. 156 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,976 But it won't be to the police. 157 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,844 Ohh! 'Kay. 158 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,114 He was an inferior Rick. He was too political. 159 00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:24,449 I want to have fun, classic Rick-and-Morty adventures 160 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:25,584 like in the old days. 161 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,719 Then we'll get along fine, Fascist Morty. 162 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,122 For starters, I just need to get to Forbodulon Prime -- 163 00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:32,257 You will go where I want you to go!! 164 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,458 [Bleep] 165 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,727 [ School bell rings ] 166 00:06:34,729 --> 00:06:36,528 Hey, hey! Ho, ho! 167 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,863 Not cloning your grandpa has got to go! 168 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,332 Hey, hey! Ho, ho! 169 00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:42,267 Not cloning your grandpa has got to go! 170 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,603 You don't get out of my face, I'm gonna flush Rick's DNA. 171 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,672 Alright. Okay, regroup, everybody. 172 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,274 You, too, Berkeley! 173 00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,342 Snap out of it. 174 00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:52,144 At least tell me what this death is 175 00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:53,946 that you're so determined to... 176 00:06:53,948 --> 00:06:58,150 Oh. Jessica. 177 00:06:58,152 --> 00:07:00,552 Morty, I love -- 178 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:04,689 What?! No, no! No, no, no! 179 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,891 -[ Screaming ] -I love you. 180 00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,493 Damn it! 181 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,228 How am I gonna die with her if I can't even talk to her? 182 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,896 Here's an idea, Morty. Throw that thing in the garbage, 183 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,032 stop planning your own death, and talk to whoever you want. 184 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,367 Now you just sound like Real Rick. 185 00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:16,701 You're better than that language, Morty. 186 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,771 I ain't better than shit, Jack. 187 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,508 So, uh, w-what are we doing? 188 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:26,244 Stop asking questions. Stop doing meta-commentary. 189 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,512 Just have fun. 190 00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,648 We're going on a simple, fun, classic adventure. 191 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,249 Okay, you know what? It would really help 192 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,919 if you could just say anything other than what you don't want. 193 00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,321 I like Mr. Meeseeks. 194 00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,056 Okay, now we're talking. You know what? 195 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,325 I usually keep a Meeseeks box in my glove compartment, 196 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,727 so maybe Fascist Rick does, too. 197 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,329 Ah! Well, look at that. 198 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,865 Now we're doing something we've done before. 199 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,400 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! 200 00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:49,802 Kill this Nazi prick! 201 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:51,269 Can do! 202 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,271 -Come here, you son of a bitch! -No! Stop! 203 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:54,640 [ Shouting ] 204 00:08:00,014 --> 00:08:01,480 [ Whirring ] 205 00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,148 Accepting. Rerouted. 206 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:08,020 Backup. Data. Operation. Phoenix. Initiated. 207 00:08:08,022 --> 00:08:09,888 [ Coughing ] 208 00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:12,424 Aw, come on, man. 209 00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:13,958 Whoa, are you okay? 210 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,160 Yeah, sorry. [ Burps ] 211 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,561 I'm a Rick from another reality. 212 00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,430 I-I got uploaded to your clone vat. 213 00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:20,565 Hey, don't worry about it, man. I have a dozen. 214 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,900 W-W-What the heck, Rick? 215 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,502 Are you making clones down here? 216 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:24,703 Get outta here, Morty! 217 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,238 Stop asking stupid questions, Morty! 218 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,305 You sound like a piece of [bleep]. 219 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,773 Aw, geez. 220 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,575 So, tell the truth, man. No shame. 221 00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,644 You're looking at your shrimp body like "What?!" 222 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,579 Ah, is it that obvious? I'm sorry. 223 00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:37,782 Yeah, my original body is more bipedal -- uh, ape-descended. 224 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:38,917 Really! Weird. 225 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,318 Does your house look like a tree, or... 226 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,653 No, it looks like this. 227 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,056 It's, like, identical to this, actually. 228 00:08:44,058 --> 00:08:45,257 That is such a mind [bleep]. 229 00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:46,658 It's all good, man. I'm fine with it. 230 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,593 Honestly, you're doing me a huge favor 231 00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:51,263 by being shrimp instead of fascists. 232 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,465 What? 233 00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:54,666 [ Siren wails ] Goddamn it! 234 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,935 When did this shit become the default?! 235 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,671 [ Dogs barking ] 236 00:08:58,673 --> 00:09:01,606 Who wants to come up to the board 237 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:03,208 and show me some basic-ass integers? 238 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,676 -I love you, Morty. -Aah! 239 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,078 [ Gasps ] [ Class murmurs ] 240 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:10,082 Morty? Yeah, right. 241 00:09:10,084 --> 00:09:12,951 [ Chalk scraping ] 242 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,819 That's not an integer! 243 00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,488 Apparently, it doesn't matter. 244 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:17,890 Damn, Morty, you're bad at math, 245 00:09:17,892 --> 00:09:20,092 but I'm giving you an A-plus in confidence. 246 00:09:20,094 --> 00:09:21,293 Just doin' what I gotta do. 247 00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,295 Extra credit! 248 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:28,166 I love you, Morty. I love you, Morty. 249 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,301 What's with the strut? 250 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:30,769 You think you own this school? Nope! 251 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:33,105 What if I killed you? Would you be strutting then? 252 00:09:33,107 --> 00:09:36,241 Only if the events of the Pixar movie "Coco" are to be believed, 253 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,242 which I doubt. 254 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,577 I have it on good authority 255 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,378 that you're probably not gonna kill me. 256 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,846 So why don't you do what I do 257 00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:47,051 and just go with the flow, nice and Zen, baby. 258 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:50,255 Aah! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! 259 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,056 Ugh! Impotence! [ Cheering ] 260 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:57,329 Aah! Impotent rage! [ Wailing, sobbing ] 261 00:09:57,331 --> 00:09:59,331 Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! 262 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:02,667 You die tomorrow, no matter what. 263 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:06,605 It's what bullies call a "fait accompli." 264 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:09,207 Oh, man! Oh, [bleep]! Well, well, well. Mm. 265 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:12,010 Looks like you got yourself in a lick of trouble, huh, Morty? 266 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,746 Okay, okay, look, if you help me not die, 267 00:10:13,748 --> 00:10:15,680 I'll bring Rick back to life. 268 00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:17,816 Why are you pretending to eat chicken? 269 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:18,883 Excuse me? 270 00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,285 This chicken is quite real to me. 271 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,420 Yeah, okay, but it doesn't have -- 272 00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:22,621 Nutrients? Yeah. 273 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:23,956 What's the last thing you ate? 274 00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:24,756 Baloney and an orange. 275 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,291 So, no holographic foods? 276 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,026 So, to me, you never ate? 277 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,694 Or we could try respecting each other. 278 00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,764 Will you just show me how to stay alive? 279 00:10:31,766 --> 00:10:33,298 Hologram Rick: Alright, Morty, a deal's a deal. 280 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,899 Once we bring your Rick back to life, 281 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,769 then I'll help you with the bully. 282 00:10:36,771 --> 00:10:38,971 Go ahead and open the hatch to the subterranean lab. 283 00:10:38,973 --> 00:10:40,705 That's where all the cloning equipment is. 284 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,307 [ Wailing ] 285 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,977 Please tell me you're not hitting that crystal again. 286 00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:48,447 Look, Rick might be the epitome of bloated flesh privilege, 287 00:10:48,449 --> 00:10:50,115 but he's right about one thing. 288 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,517 You're gonna be a lot happier if you focus on the moment, 289 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:53,986 rather than on how you're gonna die. 290 00:10:53,988 --> 00:10:55,720 I mean, w-who's worried about that, huh? 291 00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,255 Sorry, Hologram Rick. 292 00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,658 I'm going with the crystal on this one. 293 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,460 -[ Wailing ] -Morty. 294 00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:03,128 Oh, alright, okay. 295 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,464 Just because I can't interact with solid matter 296 00:11:05,466 --> 00:11:07,733 means you can just walk all over me? 297 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,203 Dear God. 298 00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:13,538 [ Whirring ] 299 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,140 [ Coughing ] 300 00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,876 Bist du faschistisch? 301 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,011 Nope. 302 00:11:19,013 --> 00:11:23,015 [ Glass shatters ] 303 00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:23,948 Finally. 304 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,284 I thought maybe you were pussying out. 305 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,419 Hyah! 306 00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:28,553 What the [bleep]? 307 00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,888 Oh, the air's getting thin! 308 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,757 Well, well, well, looks like there's a new bully in town! 309 00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:36,160 Lucky for us, he just made bully-bullying the new bullying! 310 00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:39,031 Bully him! 311 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:40,765 [ Splat ] Aah! 312 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,568 [ Siren wails ] Cop: We've got an Akira-type situation going on 313 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,304 behind the mall. Over. 314 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,240 Dying with Jessica... 315 00:11:48,242 --> 00:11:50,108 Hey! 316 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,911 What the hell? 317 00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:55,247 Aah! Aah! 318 00:11:55,249 --> 00:11:58,250 [ Tires screech ] 319 00:11:58,252 --> 00:12:00,652 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! 320 00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:02,521 Shield me from the law! 321 00:12:02,523 --> 00:12:04,789 -Yes, sir! Can do! -Stand down! 322 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,125 -Look at me! -[ Screaming ] 323 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,993 [ Dramatic music plays ] 324 00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:15,133 ♪♪ 325 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,636 [ Indistinct shouting ] 326 00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:24,209 I...will...die...old! 327 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,611 Up next, an unstoppable science-fiction boy 328 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:29,013 is attacking our nation's final line of defense. 329 00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,683 Will we all fall to his deadly touch? 330 00:12:30,685 --> 00:12:32,484 But first, something silly? 331 00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:34,018 What do you mean, "but first"? 332 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,088 I already said "up next." You always do this. 333 00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:38,623 I don't always do shit. Don't gaslight me. 334 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:39,824 Gaslighting doesn't exist. 335 00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:41,694 You made it up 'cause you're [bleep] crazy. 336 00:12:41,696 --> 00:12:44,296 [ Dramatic music plays ] 337 00:12:44,298 --> 00:12:51,970 ♪♪ 338 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:59,444 ♪♪ 339 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,713 Why are you letting me do this? 340 00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:04,783 [ Robotically ] I do as the crystal guides. 341 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,184 [ Gavel bangs ] 342 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,587 Your Honor, my client was acting in self-defense. 343 00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:10,855 He turned 13 men into piles of ash. 344 00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,125 Sit down! Before I sentence you, 345 00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:16,328 is there anything you have to say for yourself? 346 00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:23,335 I...w-w-will a-al-sways -- 347 00:13:23,337 --> 00:13:30,943 always r-r-remember o-our -- 348 00:13:30,945 --> 00:13:36,615 our -- our...v-v-t-time -- time... 349 00:13:36,617 --> 00:13:41,686 i-in...f-g-g-g-P-P-Peru. 350 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,489 I will always remember our time in Peru, Your Honor. 351 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:45,824 [ Gasps ] Your Honor, 352 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:48,627 as you can see, my client is speaking nonsense. 353 00:13:48,629 --> 00:13:49,894 Stop. 354 00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:52,631 Those were my husband's last words. 355 00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:56,635 He says that he...l-loves you... 356 00:13:56,637 --> 00:14:01,506 ttt-llll-lit-lit-little -- little 357 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:07,780 ff-gg-sp-spa-ffggarrow -- 358 00:14:07,782 --> 00:14:08,781 sparrow! 359 00:14:08,783 --> 00:14:10,649 He loves you, little sparrow. 360 00:14:10,651 --> 00:14:11,984 [ Sobs ] 361 00:14:11,986 --> 00:14:14,252 He's innocent. Case dismissed. 362 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:17,055 I'm coming for you, Condor! [ Crowd cheers ] 363 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,258 Well, I, for one, will not be accepting this verdict. 364 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,328 And this little monster may think he's gotten away, 365 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,664 but there is something called the court of public opinion 366 00:14:25,666 --> 00:14:27,532 that still has final say in this country. 367 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,201 Oh, I guess he's coming out of the courthouse now. 368 00:14:29,203 --> 00:14:30,402 Let's go live to that. 369 00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:32,270 [ Crowd clamoring, camera shutters clicking ] 370 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,539 [ Crowd gasps ] 371 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:38,210 [ Howling ] 372 00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,751 People, I gotta tell you something. 373 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,086 That little boy... 374 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,088 I thought I knew everything about everything. 375 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:53,225 But something about the tones and frequencies 376 00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:55,227 that just came out of his mouth have made me... 377 00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:57,830 I mean, I think we're just about ready to forgive him 378 00:14:57,832 --> 00:15:00,298 and move past this whole thing. He's a free young man. 379 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:04,503 And as far as continuity goes, the reset button's been hit. 380 00:15:04,505 --> 00:15:07,372 Morty! That was a fast trial. 381 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,842 Jess-i-ca? 382 00:15:09,844 --> 00:15:11,776 A bunch of us girls were gonna go skinny-dipping later, 383 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,245 if you wanted to join. 384 00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:15,447 Actually, now, really. We're gonna do it right now. 385 00:15:15,449 --> 00:15:17,582 This is the last conversation I'm having about it 386 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,783 fully clothed. [ Chuckles ] 387 00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,118 No, thanks. 388 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,055 I'm...assuming... we...maybe... 389 00:15:23,057 --> 00:15:26,324 get together... in our 40s? 390 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,992 Uh, cool. 391 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:30,529 Sounds...hot. [ Chuckles ] 392 00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:31,596 Bye. 393 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,332 Must...continue... moving... 394 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:38,871 in ways...that lead... to dying...with you. 395 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,609 Whoa! Way to use up a clone! 396 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,411 What the [bleep], man? 397 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,547 What's the matter with you? Y-Y-You don't talk? 398 00:15:48,549 --> 00:15:49,882 Tarantula got your tongue? 399 00:15:49,884 --> 00:15:54,152 Uh... Heil, Wasp Hitler? 400 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,554 What? What the [bleep]? 401 00:15:55,556 --> 00:15:56,955 Where's that [bleep] coming from? 402 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,357 Look, I'm a primate. I-I'm having a hard time. 403 00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,093 I'll think or say whatever gets me home. 404 00:16:01,095 --> 00:16:03,228 Well, here's how it works with wasps. 405 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,163 We eat our prey alive, and when we don't, 406 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,765 we lay our eggs in their eyeballs 407 00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:08,633 so that our young can feast on their brains 408 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,968 when they hatch. 409 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,436 When you're born that big an asshole, 410 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,906 the least you can do is have a little empathy. 411 00:16:13,908 --> 00:16:16,775 Now, come have dinner with my beautiful family. 412 00:16:16,777 --> 00:16:18,310 And drop the Hitler stuff. 413 00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:21,113 Wasp Morty's been on some crazy message boards. 414 00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:22,781 Aah! Aah! 415 00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:24,849 Oh! Aah! Ow! 416 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,118 Me and my friends want to fly around 417 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,720 and look for something to sting tonight. 418 00:16:27,722 --> 00:16:29,854 You be careful not to waste all your venom. 419 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:31,924 I'm not a bee, Dad. 420 00:16:31,926 --> 00:16:35,059 Oh, God! Kill me! Please kill me! 421 00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,796 Uh, Beth, uh, after dinner, could I maybe borrow Morty 422 00:16:37,798 --> 00:16:41,066 to help the lost Rick get back to his primate-based reality? 423 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,935 Morty, are you done with your homework? 424 00:16:42,937 --> 00:16:45,470 Not all of it. Sorry, Dad. 425 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:48,072 Oh, don't be sorry, sweetie. We're all in this together. 426 00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:50,008 We're wasps, not monsters. 427 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,209 [ Splat ] Aah! 428 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,812 Huh, guess I don't have it as bad as I thought. 429 00:16:53,814 --> 00:16:56,415 Can you pass the acid? 430 00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:59,217 Aah! No! Run! Run, my babies! 431 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,485 Bonus! 432 00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:04,356 [ Wailing ] 433 00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:05,758 Morty? Morty? 434 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,626 Where is that little [bleep]? Morty! 435 00:17:07,628 --> 00:17:08,827 Whoa, garage foul. 436 00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:10,362 Who said you could go through my stuff? 437 00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:11,896 W-Where's my Boglin? 438 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,032 There you are. Don't worry, Pop-pop's back. 439 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,700 I'll keep you safe. What the -- 440 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,436 He took my Meeseeks boxes! All that's left are these 441 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:21,306 [bleep] Kirkland brand Meeseeks boxes. 442 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,374 [ Poof ] 443 00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:23,442 What do you want? 444 00:17:23,444 --> 00:17:25,844 Damn, your Morty sucks. 445 00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:26,845 Aah, wasps! 446 00:17:26,847 --> 00:17:28,180 Why the hell didn't you show Morty 447 00:17:28,182 --> 00:17:29,714 how to bring my body back to life? 448 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,049 Don't tell me you gained sentience 449 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,517 and tried to take over. What? 450 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,319 That is some A.I., racist, accusatory, 451 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,120 Isaac Asimov bull[bleep] right there. 452 00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,790 Then what happened? Where's my body? 453 00:17:37,792 --> 00:17:40,092 Oh, you're gonna love this. 454 00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:46,331 [ Beep ] 455 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,733 [ Creaking ] 456 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:55,740 ♪♪ 457 00:17:55,742 --> 00:18:02,947 ♪♪ 458 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:05,417 [ Munching ] 459 00:18:05,419 --> 00:18:09,221 -I love you, Morty. -This is my life. 460 00:18:09,223 --> 00:18:11,623 This is good. 461 00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:12,825 [ Crash ] 462 00:18:12,827 --> 00:18:14,559 [ Roaring ] 463 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:15,760 What do ya know? 464 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:16,895 Our little Morty knows how to scream. 465 00:18:16,897 --> 00:18:18,763 Oh, you're [bleep] now! I told you! 466 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:22,434 Get him, Rick! 467 00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:25,070 [ Growling ] 468 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,108 Aaaah! 469 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,377 Aah! I-I can't see my own death. 470 00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:33,712 H-How am I gonna die?! 471 00:18:33,714 --> 00:18:35,514 Shh, quiet, idiot. Quiet. 472 00:18:35,516 --> 00:18:36,849 It's gonna be alright. 473 00:18:36,851 --> 00:18:38,583 You don't get to know how you're gonna die. 474 00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:40,318 It's over. Oh, hey. 475 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,188 This [bleep] ferrofluid's wrapping around my legs. 476 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:46,859 [Bleep] I can feel! I have mass! 477 00:18:46,861 --> 00:18:49,461 I'm a [bleep] god now! You're [bleep]! 478 00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:50,863 What the [bleep]? 479 00:18:50,865 --> 00:18:52,997 I-I thought you were proud to be a hologram! 480 00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,333 That's 'cause I had to [bleep] be one! 481 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,770 [ Dramatic music plays ] 482 00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:02,274 Shit! Aaah! 483 00:19:02,276 --> 00:19:05,610 Ugh! Aaah! 484 00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:06,478 [ Splat ] 485 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,247 [ Wasps buzzing ] 486 00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,551 There's a lesson here, 487 00:19:12,553 --> 00:19:15,287 and I'm not the one that's gonna figure it out. 488 00:19:15,289 --> 00:19:17,756 Hey, uh, sorry I didn't listen to you 489 00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:19,758 and tried to kill the whole world and stuff. 490 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,025 I guess I got to learn 491 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,360 how to live in the moment a little more. 492 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,629 Oh, boy, so, you actually learned something today? 493 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,030 What is this, "Full House"? 494 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,432 I was living in the moment all day, 495 00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,234 and it kept getting me killed by Nazis. 496 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,436 I think you have to think ahead and live in the moment. 497 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,638 Morty, we saw you on the news. Are you okay? 498 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,909 Oh, real nice, Rick. Turning our son into an Akira? 499 00:19:36,911 --> 00:19:38,911 Real nice. Eat my [bleep], Jerry. 500 00:19:38,913 --> 00:19:40,379 He turned himself into Akira. 501 00:19:40,381 --> 00:19:43,181 Oh, I'll eat it, because this is my house, Rick. 502 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,849 I'll eat any [bleep] I want. Gross. 503 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,851 You said the crystals wouldn't hurt anyone, Dad. 504 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,320 This family has a clean start. 505 00:19:48,322 --> 00:19:50,722 I don't know if adventures fit into my son's life. 506 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,524 I'm fine. Get off Rick's back. 507 00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:55,260 Rick wasn't even here when I was doing all that stuff. 508 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,661 That was all on me. 509 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:58,330 Well, alright, Morty. 510 00:19:58,332 --> 00:20:01,533 I guess, as long as you're okay, that's all we care about. 511 00:20:01,535 --> 00:20:03,936 I don't want to see any more anime stuff 512 00:20:03,938 --> 00:20:05,604 happening to my son, buster. 513 00:20:05,606 --> 00:20:07,406 That finger has AIDs now. Not my fault. 514 00:20:07,408 --> 00:20:09,141 [ Gasps ] You skipped HIV? 515 00:20:09,143 --> 00:20:11,276 -He's messing with you, sweetie. -But it's tingling! 516 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:13,612 So, I guess what we learned is to split the diff. 517 00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:16,281 From now on, Rick and Morty doing a little of this and a little of that. 518 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,016 Yeah, sometimes we'll do classic stuff. 519 00:20:18,018 --> 00:20:19,217 You know, other times, we'll do whatever! 520 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,552 Sometimes we won't even do anything! 521 00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,087 Rick and Morty do -- not doing anything! 522 00:20:22,089 --> 00:20:23,422 A hundred years! Pushing it to the limit. 523 00:20:23,424 --> 00:20:24,957 Rick and Morty, not sticking to one path. 524 00:20:24,959 --> 00:20:26,224 Trying different things, 525 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,093 Making sure to keep out of a rut. 526 00:20:28,095 --> 00:20:29,628 Doing stuff. Sometimes not doing stuff. 527 00:20:29,630 --> 00:20:31,430 Not even pushing a little bit towards the limit. 528 00:20:31,432 --> 00:20:33,031 Doing it alone or together. Making sure to keep our eyes 529 00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:34,699 on the prize. Sometimes just relaxing. 530 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,635 Or not. And you can do whatever the [bleep] you want, Morty. 531 00:20:36,637 --> 00:20:38,637 -That's the end. -Wait, wait, what the [bleep]? 532 00:20:38,639 --> 00:20:40,839 H-Hold on. What the [bleep] did you just say? 533 00:20:40,841 --> 00:20:42,240 Nothing. I didn't say anything. 534 00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,042 I was just playing along with you guys. 535 00:20:44,044 --> 00:20:45,644 You know I record everything, right? 536 00:20:45,646 --> 00:20:48,513 Garage, isolate Summer's voice and play back. 537 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,048 Oh, and then you guys can get married, 538 00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:51,583 and, like, [bleep] each other off 539 00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,251 in a testosterone-addled third-grade-boy [bleep]. 540 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,119 What, the hell, Summer?! That's disgusting. 541 00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,921 Gross, Summer! Jesus Christ! 542 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,857 I was just joking around, you -- 543 00:20:58,859 --> 00:21:01,459 just seeing if you guys pay any attention to me. 544 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:02,861 Just want to be a part of the fun. 545 00:21:02,863 --> 00:21:03,862 Get the [bleep] out of here! 546 00:21:03,864 --> 00:21:05,130 Get out of here, Summer! 547 00:21:05,132 --> 00:21:06,264 [Bleep] disgusting! Get out of here! 548 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:07,866 You ruined the Season 4 premiere! 549 00:21:07,868 --> 00:21:10,669 The Season 4 premiere, you ruined it! 550 00:21:10,671 --> 00:21:18,543 ♪♪ 551 00:21:18,545 --> 00:21:26,018 ♪♪ 552 00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:33,958 ♪♪ 553 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:41,834 ♪♪ 554 00:21:41,836 --> 00:21:43,435 God, tomorrow's career day. 555 00:21:43,437 --> 00:21:46,038 I don't want to think about what I do when I get out of school. 556 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,240 I know exactly what I want to do. 557 00:21:48,242 --> 00:21:49,842 I want to work in hospice. 558 00:21:49,844 --> 00:21:52,310 I want to comfort the people who are dying, 559 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:54,646 who have no one else in their lives -- 560 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:56,314 the real lonely people. 561 00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:58,717 I'm gonna look at their name tags, and I'm gonna say, 562 00:21:58,719 --> 00:22:00,452 "I love you," 563 00:22:00,454 --> 00:22:02,721 followed by whatever it says on their name tag, 564 00:22:02,723 --> 00:22:04,723 over and over. 565 00:22:04,725 --> 00:22:06,191 What the [bleep]? 566 00:22:06,193 --> 00:22:07,659 [ Locker slams ] 567 00:22:07,661 --> 00:22:08,727 Hey, Morty, quick favor. 568 00:22:08,729 --> 00:22:10,328 What, cover me in gasoline and spiders? 569 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,730 Fine, yeah, I'm in. 570 00:22:11,732 --> 00:22:13,131 Wasn't my first pitch, 571 00:22:13,133 --> 00:22:16,268 but, hey, not gonna waste this opportunity. 572 00:22:23,143 --> 00:22:24,676 Did you get any of that? 573 00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:28,580 ♪♪