1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,624
What is on Jessica's
Instagram again.

2
00:00:03,658 --> 00:00:04,763
Get out of here,
jerk!

3
00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:06,213
What's so embarrassing,
Morty?

4
00:00:06,247 --> 00:00:07,524
Sharing it with your family
might help.

5
00:00:07,559 --> 00:00:09,319
Summer, stop shaming
your brother.

6
00:00:09,354 --> 00:00:11,666
Morty, stop being a creepy,
perverted cyberstalker.

7
00:00:11,701 --> 00:00:13,289
I'm not cyberstalking!

8
00:00:13,323 --> 00:00:16,257
I-I-I just wanted to know where
she got this necklace from.

9
00:00:16,292 --> 00:00:17,500
And now I know.

10
00:00:17,534 --> 00:00:19,536
Her -- Her -- Her grandma
left it to her.

11
00:00:19,571 --> 00:00:20,572
You're quiet, Rick.

12
00:00:20,606 --> 00:00:23,161
Shouldn't you be revealing
grandmas aren't real?

13
00:00:23,195 --> 00:00:26,129
Hi. I've placed an auto-response
chip in my brain

14
00:00:26,164 --> 00:00:28,269
so I can spend time
with my family.

15
00:00:28,304 --> 00:00:30,789
But you arespending time
with your family.

16
00:00:30,823 --> 00:00:32,135
Thank you
for talking to Rick.

17
00:00:32,170 --> 00:00:33,343
[ Beep ]
[ Gasps ]

18
00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:34,551
Alright, I'm finished
with my breakfast

19
00:00:34,586 --> 00:00:36,312
and my Amazon wish list.
Let's go, Morty.

20
00:00:36,346 --> 00:00:38,624
I need death crystals
from Forbodulon Prime.

21
00:00:38,659 --> 00:00:39,832
Uh...

22
00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:43,353
Dad?
There's a way we do this now.

23
00:00:43,388 --> 00:00:46,494
Morty, would you please
accompany me

24
00:00:46,529 --> 00:00:49,428
to Forbodulon Prime
for death crystals?

25
00:00:49,463 --> 00:00:54,571
Well, thank you for asking.
Yes, I will do that.

26
00:00:54,606 --> 00:00:56,194
It isa hot photo.

27
00:00:56,228 --> 00:00:58,541
I think grief
flushes your cheeks.

28
00:00:58,575 --> 00:01:00,439
Dad, you hardly put
any syrup on.

29
00:01:00,474 --> 00:01:02,269
Honey, stop raising
your father's cholesterol

30
00:01:02,303 --> 00:01:03,856
so you can take
a hot funeral selfie.

31
00:01:03,891 --> 00:01:05,617
I never get to do
anything.

32
00:01:05,651 --> 00:01:14,729
♪♪

33
00:01:14,764 --> 00:01:23,876
♪♪

34
00:01:23,911 --> 00:01:33,196
♪♪

35
00:01:33,231 --> 00:01:37,511
[ Electricity crackles ]

36
00:01:37,545 --> 00:01:37,580
♪♪

37
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,478
♪♪

38
00:01:39,513 --> 00:01:40,790
Uh, Rick,
maybe if we go a little --

39
00:01:40,824 --> 00:01:42,274
Faster?
Good idea, Morty.

40
00:01:42,309 --> 00:01:44,828
It'll get us through these
asteroids sooner.

41
00:01:44,863 --> 00:01:47,555
[ Whooshing ]

42
00:01:50,282 --> 00:01:51,559
[ Bottles clatter ]

43
00:01:51,594 --> 00:01:54,321
Geez, you're really thispissed
about my mom making sure

44
00:01:54,355 --> 00:01:55,736
I'm okay
with our adventures?

45
00:01:55,770 --> 00:01:57,358
What's next, Morty?
What if I want you to jump off

46
00:01:57,393 --> 00:01:59,671
the Empire State Building?
I have to ask?
Yes?

47
00:01:59,705 --> 00:02:02,225
And you seriously don't see how
that's a slippery slope?

48
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,538
Just shut up and help me
with these, please.

49
00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:06,264
Why are they called
death crystals?

50
00:02:06,298 --> 00:02:07,437
D-Do they kill you?

51
00:02:07,472 --> 00:02:08,818
You're thinking of bullets,
Morty.

52
00:02:08,852 --> 00:02:11,752
Death crystals show you
how you're gonna die.

53
00:02:11,786 --> 00:02:14,962
[ Whimpering, screaming ]

54
00:02:14,996 --> 00:02:17,723
Jesus Christ!
I-I die a million times?

55
00:02:17,758 --> 00:02:19,794
Your future stems from
your [burps] present,

56
00:02:19,829 --> 00:02:21,865
which, if you're living right,
keeps changing.

57
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:24,282
Truth is, anyone that knows how
they're definitely gonna die

58
00:02:24,316 --> 00:02:26,456
is either boring as hell
or about to get shot.

59
00:02:26,491 --> 00:02:28,596
Duck!

60
00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:29,770
Who are those guys?!

61
00:02:29,804 --> 00:02:31,323
Rick:
Crystal poachers.

62
00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:32,704
There's no lower form
of life.

63
00:02:32,738 --> 00:02:35,431
They think the galaxy's
their own personal piggy bank.

64
00:02:35,465 --> 00:02:36,984
Wait, then what are we?

65
00:02:37,018 --> 00:02:38,227
We're Rick and Morty.

66
00:02:38,261 --> 00:02:41,195
You're about to witness the only
real use for these crystals.

67
00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:43,232
They show you when
the other guy's reloading.

68
00:02:43,266 --> 00:02:47,305
Certain death, certain death,
certain death, uncertain death.

69
00:02:47,339 --> 00:02:49,790
[ Lasers zapping ]

70
00:02:49,824 --> 00:02:52,551
And certain death,
certain death, certain death.

71
00:02:52,586 --> 00:02:54,001
Definitely gonna get shot
by this guy;

72
00:02:54,035 --> 00:02:56,590
this is totally my fate;
nothing I could possibly do;

73
00:02:56,624 --> 00:02:58,799
okay, now,
not so much.

74
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:01,836
Help me gather these up.

75
00:03:06,565 --> 00:03:09,430
You just use these
to win fights? Idon't use them.

76
00:03:09,465 --> 00:03:11,984
People that spend their life
avoiding death are already dead.

77
00:03:12,019 --> 00:03:15,402
They're also rich, and I like to
spend my life with their money.

78
00:03:15,436 --> 00:03:16,713
Oh, my God. Morty!

79
00:03:16,748 --> 00:03:19,371
Jessica!
[ Laughing ] Oh!

80
00:03:19,406 --> 00:03:20,683
I love you.

81
00:03:20,717 --> 00:03:22,478
Oh! Whoa! Whoa!

82
00:03:22,512 --> 00:03:24,652
Morty.Oh! Oh! Oh!

83
00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:25,895
I love you.

84
00:03:25,929 --> 00:03:30,762
Jessica.
I want to die with Jessica.

85
00:03:30,796 --> 00:03:36,768
[ Death crystals rattling ]

86
00:03:36,802 --> 00:03:38,425
Ahh!
What are you doing?

87
00:03:38,459 --> 00:03:40,841
Oh, um, c-can I drive?
Why?

88
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:43,499
The...feel of the open road?

89
00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:45,294
Alright!
Who's this grandson?

90
00:03:45,328 --> 00:03:47,606
I like his style.[ Keys jingle ]

91
00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:50,057
Morty, you know outer space
is up, right?
Yeah, yeah.

92
00:03:50,091 --> 00:03:53,474
I'm just, uh,
following...my...instincts.

93
00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:54,993
Will you just go up?
Stop!

94
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,375
You're gonna make me
die wrong!Wait a minute, what?

95
00:03:57,409 --> 00:03:58,928
Morty, do you have
a death crystal in your pocket?

96
00:03:58,962 --> 00:04:00,585
No! Maybe!
You little monster!

97
00:04:00,619 --> 00:04:01,758
I thought you were
masturbating!

98
00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:02,863
And you took that
in stride?!

99
00:04:02,897 --> 00:04:03,864
You'd rather
I address it?!

100
00:04:03,898 --> 00:04:05,279
Why would I be doing it?!

101
00:04:05,314 --> 00:04:06,453
Why would you steal
a death crystal?!

102
00:04:06,487 --> 00:04:07,454
I want to die old!

103
00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:08,524
Then stop driving!

104
00:04:08,558 --> 00:04:09,594
No!
You son of a bitch!

105
00:04:09,628 --> 00:04:10,940
Give me the wheel, Morty.

106
00:04:10,974 --> 00:04:12,597
Goddamn it.

107
00:04:12,631 --> 00:04:14,599
[ Splat ]

108
00:04:16,842 --> 00:04:19,293
[ Electricity crackles ]

109
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:23,849
Ohhh, shit.

110
00:04:23,884 --> 00:04:26,300
Oh, shit, oh, shit,
oh, shit, oh, shit.

111
00:04:26,335 --> 00:04:28,820
-I love you, Morty.
-[ Sighs ]

112
00:04:28,854 --> 00:04:31,547
I will avenge my death.

113
00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:32,996
Holy shit!
Just kidding.

114
00:04:33,031 --> 00:04:35,309
I'm a crisis detection
and correction hologram

115
00:04:35,344 --> 00:04:38,554
generated by a chip that
"real" Rick put in your spine.

116
00:04:38,588 --> 00:04:41,695
"Real" in quotes because calling
density-privileged entities

117
00:04:41,729 --> 00:04:43,110
"real"
is incredibly holo-phobic.

118
00:04:43,144 --> 00:04:45,802
Morty, do me a solid --
problematic wordplay aside --

119
00:04:45,837 --> 00:04:47,701
grab the gun with the blue
handle from the trunk

120
00:04:47,735 --> 00:04:51,567
and get a tissue sample
from the corpse.

121
00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:52,671
[ Device beeps ]

122
00:04:52,706 --> 00:04:54,086
Alright, now
take that to the trunk

123
00:04:54,121 --> 00:04:57,918
and insert it
into the clone compiler.

124
00:04:57,952 --> 00:05:00,023
I see you appear to be holding
a death crystal

125
00:05:00,058 --> 00:05:02,440
that's guiding your decisions
more than I am.

126
00:05:02,474 --> 00:05:03,717
That's your right.

127
00:05:03,751 --> 00:05:06,444
I just want to remind you that
some people can't hold anything

128
00:05:06,478 --> 00:05:09,550
and can never die, so that's
a little offensive to --

129
00:05:09,585 --> 00:05:12,898
[ Engine starts ]Oh, okay.

130
00:05:12,933 --> 00:05:15,418
Listen, I'm programmed
for tolerance, Morty.

131
00:05:15,453 --> 00:05:17,144
So I'm willing to accept
that you're doing this

132
00:05:17,178 --> 00:05:19,836
if you're willing to accept
that you need to stop.

133
00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:23,944
[ Whirring ]

134
00:05:23,978 --> 00:05:25,980
Accepting.
Rerouted.

135
00:05:26,015 --> 00:05:30,571
Backup. Data.
Operation. Phoenix. Initiated.

136
00:05:30,606 --> 00:05:32,021
[ Coughing ]

137
00:05:32,055 --> 00:05:36,059
What the hell?
I axed this protocol.

138
00:05:36,094 --> 00:05:37,820
What are you doing
with my clone?

139
00:05:37,854 --> 00:05:39,166
It's okay. I'm you.

140
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,755
I took my own clone vat offline
a couple seasons ago,

141
00:05:41,789 --> 00:05:44,447
so I think my backup got
rerouted to your universe.

142
00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:46,725
I'm sorry.
All good.
Happy to help.

143
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,900
By the way, annoying
that I even have to ask,

144
00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:52,904
but you are down with
fascist dystopias, right?

145
00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:56,494
[ Dramatic music plays ]

146
00:05:56,528 --> 00:05:58,668
YYYYYes.

147
00:05:58,703 --> 00:06:00,049
That "yes" was pretty...[ Gun cocks ]

148
00:06:00,083 --> 00:06:02,431
...liberal
with the letter "Y."

149
00:06:02,465 --> 00:06:04,467
Well, isn't this strange.

150
00:06:04,502 --> 00:06:06,849
I trust, the kind of strange
that makes Rick and Morty...

151
00:06:06,883 --> 00:06:08,160
[ Gun cocks ]...stronger.

152
00:06:08,195 --> 00:06:10,197
Morty, I caught this socialist
in my bathrobe.

153
00:06:10,231 --> 00:06:11,785
He wants to give
all of our martinis

154
00:06:11,819 --> 00:06:12,958
to a family
of immigrants.

155
00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:14,615
Obviously,
the most likely imposter

156
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:16,790
is the wet, naked clone.It is obvious.

157
00:06:16,824 --> 00:06:18,619
But it won't be
to the police.

158
00:06:18,654 --> 00:06:20,552
Ohh!
'Kay.

159
00:06:20,587 --> 00:06:22,761
He was an inferior Rick.
He was too political.

160
00:06:22,796 --> 00:06:24,970
I want to have fun, classic
Rick-and-Morty adventures

161
00:06:25,005 --> 00:06:26,213
like in the old days.

162
00:06:26,247 --> 00:06:28,422
Then we'll get along fine,
Fascist Morty.

163
00:06:28,457 --> 00:06:30,769
For starters, I just need to get
to Forbodulon Prime --

164
00:06:30,804 --> 00:06:32,806
You will go
where I want you to go!!

165
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:33,979
Fuck.

166
00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:35,533
[ School bell rings ]

167
00:06:35,567 --> 00:06:37,086
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

168
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,502
Not cloning your grandpa
has got to go!

169
00:06:39,537 --> 00:06:41,021
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

170
00:06:41,055 --> 00:06:42,919
Not cloning your grandpa
has got to go!

171
00:06:42,954 --> 00:06:45,128
You don't get out of my face,
I'm gonna flush Rick's DNA.

172
00:06:45,163 --> 00:06:48,235
Alright.
Okay, regroup, everybody.

173
00:06:48,269 --> 00:06:49,823
You, too, Berkeley!

174
00:06:49,857 --> 00:06:51,031
Snap out of it.

175
00:06:51,065 --> 00:06:52,791
At least tell me
what this death is

176
00:06:52,826 --> 00:06:54,690
that you're
so determined to...

177
00:06:54,724 --> 00:06:58,866
Oh. Jessica.

178
00:06:58,901 --> 00:07:01,213
Morty, I love --

179
00:07:01,248 --> 00:07:05,252
What?! No, no!
No, no, no!

180
00:07:05,286 --> 00:07:07,530
-[ Screaming]
-I love you.

181
00:07:07,565 --> 00:07:09,014
Damn it!

182
00:07:09,049 --> 00:07:10,913
How am I gonna die with her
if I can't even talk to her?

183
00:07:10,947 --> 00:07:12,535
Here's an idea, Morty.
Throw that thing in the garbage,

184
00:07:12,570 --> 00:07:14,744
stop planning your own death,
and talk to whoever you want.

185
00:07:14,779 --> 00:07:15,987
Now you just sound
like Real Rick.

186
00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:17,264
You're better than
that language, Morty.

187
00:07:17,298 --> 00:07:19,611
I ain't better than shit,
Jack.

188
00:07:22,614 --> 00:07:24,029
So, uh,
w-what are we doing?

189
00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:26,860
Stop asking questions.
Stop doing meta-commentary.

190
00:07:26,894 --> 00:07:28,137
Just have fun.

191
00:07:28,171 --> 00:07:30,173
We're going on a simple,
fun, classic adventure.

192
00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:31,934
Okay, you know what?
It would really help

193
00:07:31,968 --> 00:07:35,627
if you could just say anything
other than what you don't want.

194
00:07:35,662 --> 00:07:36,973
I like Mr. Meeseeks.

195
00:07:37,008 --> 00:07:38,699
Okay, now we're talking.
You know what?

196
00:07:38,734 --> 00:07:40,977
I usually keep a Meeseeks box
in my glove compartment,

197
00:07:41,012 --> 00:07:43,221
so maybe Fascist Rick
does, too.

198
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,878
Ah!
Well, look at that.

199
00:07:44,912 --> 00:07:47,605
Now we're doing something
we've done before.

200
00:07:47,639 --> 00:07:49,020
I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

201
00:07:49,054 --> 00:07:50,504
Kill this Nazi prick!

202
00:07:50,539 --> 00:07:51,954
Can do!

203
00:07:51,988 --> 00:07:53,887
-Come here, you son of a bitch!
-No! Stop!

204
00:07:53,921 --> 00:07:55,509
[ Shouting ]

205
00:08:00,721 --> 00:08:02,136
[ Whirring ]

206
00:08:02,171 --> 00:08:03,828
Accepting. Rerouted.

207
00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:08,764
Backup. Data.
Operation. Phoenix. Initiated.

208
00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:10,559
[ Coughing ]

209
00:08:10,593 --> 00:08:13,044
Aw, come on, man.

210
00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:14,597
Whoa, are you okay?

211
00:08:14,632 --> 00:08:15,771
Yeah, sorry.
[ Burps ]

212
00:08:15,805 --> 00:08:17,082
I'm a Rick
from another reality.

213
00:08:17,117 --> 00:08:19,050
I-I got uploaded
to your clone vat.

214
00:08:19,084 --> 00:08:21,086
Hey, don't worry about it, man.
I have a dozen.

215
00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:22,571
W-W-What the heck,
Rick?

216
00:08:22,605 --> 00:08:24,055
Are you making clones
down here?

217
00:08:24,089 --> 00:08:25,228
Get outta here, Morty!

218
00:08:25,263 --> 00:08:26,885
Stop asking
stupid questions, Morty!

219
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:27,921
You sound like a piece of
[bleep].

220
00:08:27,955 --> 00:08:29,267
Aw, geez.

221
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:31,096
So, tell the truth, man.
No shame.

222
00:08:31,131 --> 00:08:33,305
You're looking at
your shrimp body like "What?!"

223
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,204
Ah, is it that obvious?
I'm sorry.

224
00:08:35,238 --> 00:08:38,345
Yeah, my original body is more
bipedal -- uh, ape-descended.

225
00:08:38,379 --> 00:08:39,242
Really! Weird.

226
00:08:39,277 --> 00:08:41,003
Does your house look
like a tree, or...

227
00:08:41,037 --> 00:08:42,211
No, it looks like this.

228
00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:44,731
It's, like, identical
to this, actually.

229
00:08:44,765 --> 00:08:45,973
That is such
a mind [bleep].

230
00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:47,319
It's all good, man.
I'm fine with it.

231
00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:49,114
Honestly, you're doing me
a huge favor

232
00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:52,014
by being shrimp
instead of fascists.

233
00:08:53,222 --> 00:08:53,912
What?

234
00:08:53,947 --> 00:08:55,224
[ Siren wails ]Goddamn it!

235
00:08:55,258 --> 00:08:57,606
When did this shit become
the default?!

236
00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,331
[ Dogs barking ]

237
00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:02,127
Who wants to come up
to the board

238
00:09:02,162 --> 00:09:03,888
and show me
some basic-ass integers?

239
00:09:03,922 --> 00:09:05,234
-I love you, Morty.
-Aah!

240
00:09:05,268 --> 00:09:06,753
[ Gasps ][ Class murmurs ]

241
00:09:06,787 --> 00:09:10,826
Morty?
Yeah, right.

242
00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:13,622
[ Chalk scraping ]

243
00:09:13,656 --> 00:09:15,313
That's not an integer!

244
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,108
Apparently,
it doesn't matter.

245
00:09:17,142 --> 00:09:18,592
Damn, Morty,
you're bad at math,

246
00:09:18,627 --> 00:09:20,767
but I'm giving you
an A-plus in confidence.

247
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:21,940
Just doin'
what I gotta do.

248
00:09:21,975 --> 00:09:24,011
Extra credit!

249
00:09:24,046 --> 00:09:28,809
I love you, Morty.
I love you, Morty.

250
00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:30,017
What's with the strut?

251
00:09:30,052 --> 00:09:31,398
You think you own this school?
-Nope!

252
00:09:31,432 --> 00:09:33,849
What if I killed you?
Would you be strutting then?

253
00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:36,852
Only if the events of the Pixar
movie "Coco" are to be believed,

254
00:09:36,886 --> 00:09:37,922
which I doubt.

255
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:39,233
I have it on good authority

256
00:09:39,268 --> 00:09:40,994
that you're probably
not gonna kill me.

257
00:09:41,028 --> 00:09:42,409
So why don't you do
what I do

258
00:09:42,443 --> 00:09:47,759
and just go with the flow,
nice and Zen, baby.

259
00:09:47,794 --> 00:09:50,935
Aah! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

260
00:09:50,969 --> 00:09:52,695
Ugh! Impotence![ Cheering ]

261
00:09:52,730 --> 00:09:58,045
Aah! Impotent rage![ Wailing, sobbing]

262
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,978
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

263
00:10:00,013 --> 00:10:03,188
You die tomorrow,
no matter what.

264
00:10:03,223 --> 00:10:07,261
It's what bullies call
a "fait accompli."

265
00:10:07,296 --> 00:10:09,850
Oh, man! Oh, [bleep]!Well, well, well. Mm.

266
00:10:09,885 --> 00:10:12,681
Looks like you got yourself in
a lick of trouble, huh, Morty?

267
00:10:12,715 --> 00:10:14,406
Okay, okay, look,
if you help me not die,

268
00:10:14,441 --> 00:10:16,201
I'll bring Rick
back to life.

269
00:10:16,236 --> 00:10:18,341
Why are you pretending
to eat chicken?

270
00:10:18,376 --> 00:10:19,204
Excuse me?

271
00:10:19,239 --> 00:10:20,896
This chicken is
quite real to me.

272
00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:22,104
Yeah, okay,
but it doesn't have --

273
00:10:22,138 --> 00:10:23,277
Nutrients?
Yeah.

274
00:10:23,312 --> 00:10:24,658
What's the last thing
you ate?

275
00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:25,314
Baloney and an orange.

276
00:10:25,348 --> 00:10:26,971
So, no holographic foods?

277
00:10:27,005 --> 00:10:28,697
So, to me, you never ate?

278
00:10:28,731 --> 00:10:30,215
Or we could try
respecting each other.

279
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,321
Will you just show me
how to stay alive?

280
00:10:32,355 --> 00:10:33,978
Hologram Rick:
Alright, Morty, a deal's a deal.

281
00:10:34,012 --> 00:10:35,462
Once we bring your Rick
back to life,

282
00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:37,326
then I'll help you
with the bully.

283
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,777
Go ahead and open the hatch
to the subterranean lab.

284
00:10:39,811 --> 00:10:41,226
That's where all
the cloning equipment is.

285
00:10:41,261 --> 00:10:42,987
[ Wailing]

286
00:10:43,021 --> 00:10:45,679
Please tell me you're not
hitting that crystal again.

287
00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:49,131
Look, Rick might be the epitome
of bloated flesh privilege,

288
00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,822
but he's right
about one thing.

289
00:10:50,857 --> 00:10:53,169
You're gonna be a lot happier
if you focus on the moment,

290
00:10:53,204 --> 00:10:54,792
rather than on
how you're gonna die.

291
00:10:54,826 --> 00:10:56,241
I mean, w-who's worried
about that, huh?

292
00:10:56,276 --> 00:10:57,898
Sorry, Hologram Rick.

293
00:10:57,933 --> 00:11:00,211
I'm going with the crystal
on this one.

294
00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:02,144
-[ Wailing]
-Morty.

295
00:11:02,178 --> 00:11:03,835
Oh, alright, okay.

296
00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:06,079
Just because I can't interact
with solid matter

297
00:11:06,113 --> 00:11:08,426
means you can just
walk all over me?

298
00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:11,878
Dear God.

299
00:11:11,912 --> 00:11:14,087
[ Whirring ]

300
00:11:14,121 --> 00:11:15,847
[ Coughing ]

301
00:11:15,882 --> 00:11:18,505
Bist du faschistisch?

302
00:11:18,539 --> 00:11:19,713
Nope.

303
00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:21,232
[ Glass shatters ]

304
00:11:24,753 --> 00:11:25,581
Finally.

305
00:11:25,615 --> 00:11:27,997
I thought maybe you were
pussying out.

306
00:11:28,032 --> 00:11:29,067
Hyah!

307
00:11:29,102 --> 00:11:30,103
What the [bleep]?

308
00:11:30,137 --> 00:11:31,518
Oh, the air's getting thin!

309
00:11:31,552 --> 00:11:34,383
Well, well, well, looks like
there's a new bully in town!

310
00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:37,800
Lucky for us, he just made
bully-bullying the new bullying!

311
00:11:37,835 --> 00:11:40,734
Bully him!

312
00:11:40,769 --> 00:11:42,149
[ Splat ]
Aah!

313
00:11:42,184 --> 00:11:45,221
[ Siren wails ]Cop: We've got an Akira-type
situation going on

314
00:11:45,256 --> 00:11:47,948
behind the mall.
Over.

315
00:11:47,983 --> 00:11:49,916
Dying with Jessica...

316
00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:51,780
Hey!

317
00:11:51,814 --> 00:11:54,437
What the hell?

318
00:11:54,472 --> 00:11:56,923
Aah! Aah!

319
00:11:56,957 --> 00:11:59,926
[ Tires screech ]

320
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,273
I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
Look at me!

321
00:12:02,307 --> 00:12:04,137
Shield me from the law!

322
00:12:04,171 --> 00:12:06,415
-Yes, sir! Can do!
-Stand down!

323
00:12:06,449 --> 00:12:08,797
-Look at me!
-[ Screaming ]

324
00:12:08,831 --> 00:12:10,557
[ Dramatic music plays ]

325
00:12:10,591 --> 00:12:16,805
♪♪

326
00:12:16,839 --> 00:12:19,359
[ Indistinct shouting ]

327
00:12:23,156 --> 00:12:25,848
I...will...die...old!

328
00:12:25,883 --> 00:12:28,264
Up next, an unstoppable
science-fiction boy

329
00:12:28,299 --> 00:12:30,508
is attacking our nation's
final line of defense.

330
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,372
Will we all fall
to his deadly touch?

331
00:12:32,406 --> 00:12:34,201
But first, something silly?

332
00:12:34,236 --> 00:12:35,513
What do you mean,
"but first"?

333
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,895
I already said "up next."
You always do this.

334
00:12:37,929 --> 00:12:40,173
I don't alwaysdo shit.
Don't gaslight me.

335
00:12:40,207 --> 00:12:41,450
Gaslighting doesn't exist.

336
00:12:41,484 --> 00:12:43,383
You made it up
'cause you're [bleep] crazy.

337
00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:46,041
[ Dramatic music plays ]

338
00:12:46,075 --> 00:12:53,600
♪♪

339
00:12:53,634 --> 00:13:01,125
♪♪

340
00:13:01,159 --> 00:13:03,334
Why are you letting me
do this?

341
00:13:03,368 --> 00:13:06,337
[ Robotically ]
I do as the crystal guides.

342
00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:07,856
[ Gavel bangs ]

343
00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:10,203
Your Honor, my client was acting
in self-defense.

344
00:13:10,237 --> 00:13:12,481
He turned 13 men
into piles of ash.

345
00:13:12,515 --> 00:13:14,828
Sit down!
Before I sentence you,

346
00:13:14,863 --> 00:13:18,073
is there anything
you have to say for yourself?

347
00:13:18,107 --> 00:13:25,011
I...w-w-will a-al-sways --

348
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:32,501
always r-r-remember
o-our --

349
00:13:32,535 --> 00:13:38,300
our -- our...v-v-t-time --
time...

350
00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:43,236
i-in...f-g-g-g-P-P-Peru.

351
00:13:43,270 --> 00:13:46,101
I will always remember our time
in Peru, Your Honor.

352
00:13:46,135 --> 00:13:47,481
[ Gasps ]Your Honor,

353
00:13:47,516 --> 00:13:50,243
as you can see, my client
is speaking nonsense.

354
00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:51,416
Stop.

355
00:13:51,451 --> 00:13:54,247
Those were my husband's
last words.

356
00:13:54,281 --> 00:13:58,320
He says that he...l-loves you...

357
00:13:58,354 --> 00:14:03,118
ttt-llll-lit-lit-little --
little

358
00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:09,469
ff-gg-sp-spa-ffggarrow --

359
00:14:09,503 --> 00:14:10,470
sparrow!

360
00:14:10,504 --> 00:14:12,265
He loves you,
little sparrow.

361
00:14:12,299 --> 00:14:13,542
[ Sobs ]

362
00:14:13,576 --> 00:14:15,924
He's innocent.
Case dismissed.

363
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:18,581
I'm coming for you,
Condor![ Crowd cheers ]

364
00:14:18,616 --> 00:14:21,930
Well, I, for one, will not be
accepting this verdict.

365
00:14:21,964 --> 00:14:24,967
And this little monster may
think he's gotten away,

366
00:14:25,002 --> 00:14:27,280
but there is something called
the court of public opinion

367
00:14:27,314 --> 00:14:29,144
that still has final say
in this country.

368
00:14:29,178 --> 00:14:30,904
Oh, I guess he's coming out
of the courthouse now.

369
00:14:30,939 --> 00:14:31,940
Let's go live to that.

370
00:14:31,974 --> 00:14:34,011
[ Crowd clamoring,
camera shutters clicking ]

371
00:14:34,045 --> 00:14:36,151
[ Crowd gasps ]

372
00:14:36,185 --> 00:14:40,051
[ Howling ]

373
00:14:46,299 --> 00:14:48,301
People, I gotta tell you
something.

374
00:14:48,335 --> 00:14:49,612
That little boy...

375
00:14:49,647 --> 00:14:51,718
I thought I knew everything
about everything.

376
00:14:51,752 --> 00:14:55,032
But something about the tones
and frequencies

377
00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:56,930
that just came out of his mouth
have made me...

378
00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:59,519
I mean, I think we're just about
ready to forgive him

379
00:14:59,553 --> 00:15:02,039
and move past this whole thing.
He's a free young man.

380
00:15:02,073 --> 00:15:06,146
And as far as continuity goes,
the reset button's been hit.

381
00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:09,080
Morty!
That was a fast trial.

382
00:15:09,115 --> 00:15:11,462
Jess-i-ca?

383
00:15:11,496 --> 00:15:13,429
A bunch of us girls were gonna
go skinny-dipping later,

384
00:15:13,464 --> 00:15:14,948
if you wanted to join.

385
00:15:14,983 --> 00:15:17,192
Actually, now, really.
We're gonna do it right now.

386
00:15:17,226 --> 00:15:19,263
This is the last conversation
I'm having about it

387
00:15:19,297 --> 00:15:20,436
fully clothed.
[ Chuckles ]

388
00:15:20,471 --> 00:15:21,644
No, thanks.

389
00:15:21,679 --> 00:15:24,716
I'm...assuming...
we...maybe...

390
00:15:24,751 --> 00:15:28,065
get together...
in our 40s?

391
00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:29,618
Uh, cool.

392
00:15:29,652 --> 00:15:32,172
Sounds...hot.
[ Chuckles ]

393
00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:33,277
Bye.

394
00:15:33,311 --> 00:15:36,004
Must...continue...
moving...

395
00:15:36,038 --> 00:15:40,594
in ways...that lead...
to dying...with you.

396
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,290
Whoa!
Way to use up a clone!

397
00:15:46,324 --> 00:15:48,050
What the [bleep], man?

398
00:15:48,085 --> 00:15:50,190
What's the matter with you?
Y-Y-You don't talk?

399
00:15:50,225 --> 00:15:51,502
Tarantula
got your tongue?

400
00:15:51,536 --> 00:15:55,678
Uh...
Heil, Wasp Hitler?

401
00:15:55,713 --> 00:15:57,197
What?
What the [bleep]?

402
00:15:57,232 --> 00:15:58,509
Where's that [bleep]
coming from?

403
00:15:58,543 --> 00:16:01,029
Look, I'm a primate.
I-I'm having a hard time.

404
00:16:01,063 --> 00:16:02,754
I'll think or say
whatever gets me home.

405
00:16:02,789 --> 00:16:04,791
Well, here's how it works
with wasps.

406
00:16:04,825 --> 00:16:06,793
We eat our prey alive,
and when we don't,

407
00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:08,450
we lay our eggs
in their eyeballs

408
00:16:08,484 --> 00:16:10,314
so that our young can feast
on their brains

409
00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:11,625
when they hatch.

410
00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:13,144
When you're born
that big an asshole,

411
00:16:13,179 --> 00:16:15,526
the least you can do is
have a little empathy.

412
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,460
Now, come have dinner
with my beautiful family.

413
00:16:18,494 --> 00:16:20,013
And drop the Hitler stuff.

414
00:16:20,048 --> 00:16:22,774
Wasp Morty's been on
some crazy message boards.

415
00:16:22,809 --> 00:16:24,466
Aah! Aah!

416
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,502
Oh! Aah! Ow!

417
00:16:26,537 --> 00:16:27,779
Me and my friends
want to fly around

418
00:16:27,814 --> 00:16:29,436
and look for something
to sting tonight.

419
00:16:29,471 --> 00:16:31,404
You be careful not to waste
all your venom.

420
00:16:31,438 --> 00:16:33,613
I'm not a bee, Dad.

421
00:16:33,647 --> 00:16:36,685
Oh, God! Kill me!
Please kill me!

422
00:16:36,719 --> 00:16:39,412
Uh, Beth, uh, after dinner,
could I maybe borrow Morty

423
00:16:39,446 --> 00:16:42,691
to help the lost Rick get back
to his primate-based reality?

424
00:16:42,725 --> 00:16:44,624
Morty, are you done
with your homework?

425
00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:47,109
Not all of it.
Sorry, Dad.

426
00:16:47,144 --> 00:16:49,594
Oh, don't be sorry, sweetie.
We're all in this together.

427
00:16:49,629 --> 00:16:51,562
We're wasps, not monsters.

428
00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:52,839
[ Splat ]
Aah!

429
00:16:52,873 --> 00:16:55,497
Huh, guess I don't have it
as bad as I thought.

430
00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:58,155
Can you pass the acid?

431
00:16:58,189 --> 00:17:00,847
Aah! No!
Run! Run, my babies!

432
00:17:00,881 --> 00:17:02,193
Bonus!

433
00:17:02,228 --> 00:17:06,163
[ Wailing ]

434
00:17:06,197 --> 00:17:07,474
Morty?
Morty?

435
00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:09,269
Where is that little [bleep]?
Morty!

436
00:17:09,304 --> 00:17:10,512
Whoa, garage foul.

437
00:17:10,546 --> 00:17:12,169
Who said you could
go through my stuff?

438
00:17:12,203 --> 00:17:13,446
W-Where's my Boglin?

439
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,689
There you are.
Don't worry, Pop-pop's back.

440
00:17:15,724 --> 00:17:17,312
I'll keep you safe.
What the --

441
00:17:17,346 --> 00:17:20,108
He took my Meeseeks boxes!
All that's left are these

442
00:17:20,142 --> 00:17:22,869
[bleep] Kirkland brand
Meeseeks boxes.

443
00:17:22,903 --> 00:17:24,077
[ Poof ]

444
00:17:24,112 --> 00:17:25,182
What do you want?

445
00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:27,460
Damn,
your Morty sucks.

446
00:17:27,494 --> 00:17:28,530
Aah, wasps!

447
00:17:28,564 --> 00:17:29,738
Why the hell
didn't you show Morty

448
00:17:29,772 --> 00:17:31,395
how to bring my body
back to life?

449
00:17:31,429 --> 00:17:32,603
Don't tell me
you gained sentience

450
00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:34,156
and tried to take over.
What?

451
00:17:34,191 --> 00:17:35,813
That is some A.I.,
racist, accusatory,

452
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,642
Isaac Asimov bull[bleep]
right there.

453
00:17:37,677 --> 00:17:39,506
Then what happened?
Where's my body?

454
00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:41,784
Oh, you're gonna
love this.

455
00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:47,825
[ Beep ]

456
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:50,345
[ Creaking ]

457
00:17:50,379 --> 00:17:57,421
♪♪

458
00:17:57,455 --> 00:18:04,497
♪♪

459
00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:07,120
[ Munching ]

460
00:18:07,155 --> 00:18:10,882
-I love you, Morty.
-This is my life.

461
00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:13,299
This is good.

462
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:14,472
[ Crash ]

463
00:18:14,507 --> 00:18:16,198
[ Roaring ]

464
00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:17,372
What do ya know?

465
00:18:17,406 --> 00:18:18,580
Our little Morty knows
how to scream.

466
00:18:18,614 --> 00:18:20,444
Oh, you're [bleep] now!
I told you!

467
00:18:20,478 --> 00:18:24,241
Get him, Rick!

468
00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:26,795
[ Growling ]

469
00:18:29,970 --> 00:18:31,765
Aaaah!

470
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,940
Aah!
I-I can't see my own death.

471
00:18:33,974 --> 00:18:35,424
H-How am I gonna die?!

472
00:18:35,459 --> 00:18:37,254
Shh, quiet, idiot.
Quiet.

473
00:18:37,288 --> 00:18:38,565
It's gonna be alright.

474
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,222
You don't get to know
how you're gonna die.

475
00:18:40,257 --> 00:18:41,948
It's over.
Oh, hey.

476
00:18:41,982 --> 00:18:44,813
This [bleep] ferrofluid's
wrapping around my legs.

477
00:18:44,847 --> 00:18:48,506
[Bleep]
I can feel! I have mass!

478
00:18:48,541 --> 00:18:51,268
I'm a [bleep] god now!
You're [bleep]!

479
00:18:51,302 --> 00:18:52,579
What the [bleep]?

480
00:18:52,614 --> 00:18:54,547
I-I thought you were proud
to be a hologram!

481
00:18:54,581 --> 00:18:56,963
That's 'cause I had to
[bleep] be one!

482
00:18:56,997 --> 00:18:59,552
[ Dramatic music plays ]

483
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:03,832
Shit! Aaah!

484
00:19:03,866 --> 00:19:07,249
Ugh! Aaah!

485
00:19:07,284 --> 00:19:08,285
[ Splat ]

486
00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:09,941
[ Wasps buzzing ]

487
00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:14,222
There's a lesson here,

488
00:19:14,256 --> 00:19:16,948
and I'm not the one
that's gonna figure it out.

489
00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:19,399
Hey, uh, sorry
I didn't listen to you

490
00:19:19,434 --> 00:19:21,401
and tried to kill
the whole world and stuff.

491
00:19:21,436 --> 00:19:22,678
I guess I got to learn

492
00:19:22,713 --> 00:19:23,990
how to live in the moment
a little more.

493
00:19:24,024 --> 00:19:26,337
Oh, boy, so, you actually
learned something today?

494
00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:27,580
What is this,
"Full House"?

495
00:19:27,614 --> 00:19:28,926
I was living in the moment
all day,

496
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,755
and it kept getting me
killed by Nazis.

497
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:32,930
I think you have to think ahead
andlive in the moment.

498
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:35,346
Morty, we saw you on the news.
Are you okay?

499
00:19:35,381 --> 00:19:38,556
Oh, real nice, Rick.
Turning our son into an Akira?

500
00:19:38,591 --> 00:19:40,558
Real nice.
-Eat my [bleep], Jerry.

501
00:19:40,593 --> 00:19:42,008
He turned himself
into Akira.

502
00:19:42,042 --> 00:19:44,838
Oh, I'll eat it,
because this is my house, Rick.

503
00:19:44,873 --> 00:19:46,461
I'll eat any [bleep] I want.
-Gross.

504
00:19:46,495 --> 00:19:48,463
You said the crystals wouldn't
hurt anyone, Dad.

505
00:19:48,497 --> 00:19:49,878
This family has
a clean start.

506
00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:52,398
I don't know if adventures
fit into my son's life.

507
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:54,331
I'm fine.
Get off Rick's back.

508
00:19:54,365 --> 00:19:56,781
Rick wasn't even here
when I was doing all that stuff.

509
00:19:56,816 --> 00:19:58,300
That was all on me.

510
00:19:58,335 --> 00:19:59,888
Well, alright, Morty.

511
00:19:59,922 --> 00:20:03,236
I guess, as long as you're okay,
that's all we care about.

512
00:20:03,271 --> 00:20:05,652
I don't want to see
any more anime stuff

513
00:20:05,687 --> 00:20:07,275
happening to my son,
buster.

514
00:20:07,309 --> 00:20:09,035
That finger has AIDs now.
Not my fault.

515
00:20:09,069 --> 00:20:10,761
[ Gasps ]
You skipped HIV?

516
00:20:10,795 --> 00:20:12,901
-He's messing with you, sweetie.
-But it's tingling!

517
00:20:12,935 --> 00:20:15,352
So, I guess what we learned
is to split the diff.

518
00:20:15,386 --> 00:20:17,906
From now on, Rick and Morty
doing a little of this
and a little of that.

519
00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,701
Yeah, sometimes
we'll do classic stuff.

520
00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:20,874
You know, other times,
we'll do whatever!

521
00:20:20,909 --> 00:20:22,255
Sometimes we won't even
do anything!

522
00:20:22,290 --> 00:20:23,739
Rick and Morty do --
not doing anything!

523
00:20:23,774 --> 00:20:25,051
A hundred years!Pushing it to the limit.

524
00:20:25,085 --> 00:20:26,673
Rick and Morty,
not sticking to one path.

525
00:20:26,708 --> 00:20:27,881
Trying different things,

526
00:20:27,916 --> 00:20:29,745
Making sure to keep out
of a rut.

527
00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:31,299
Doing stuff.
Sometimes not doing stuff.

528
00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:33,059
Not even pushing a little bit
towards the limit.

529
00:20:33,093 --> 00:20:34,716
Doing it alone or together.
Making sure to keep our eyes

530
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,338
on the prize.
Sometimes just relaxing.

531
00:20:36,373 --> 00:20:38,375
Or not. And you can do whatever
the fuck you want, Morty.

532
00:20:38,409 --> 00:20:40,377
-That's the end.
-Wait, wait, what the fuck?

533
00:20:40,411 --> 00:20:42,482
H-Hold on. What the fuck
did you just say?

534
00:20:42,517 --> 00:20:43,897
Nothing.
I didn't say anything.

535
00:20:43,932 --> 00:20:45,658
I was just playing along
with you guys.

536
00:20:45,692 --> 00:20:47,384
You know I record everything,
right?

537
00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:50,076
Garage, isolate Summer's voice
and play back.

538
00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:51,733
Oh, and then you guys
can get married,

539
00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:53,286
and, like,
suck each other off

540
00:20:53,321 --> 00:20:54,908
in a testosterone-addled
fucking third-grade-boy.

541
00:20:54,943 --> 00:20:56,669
What, the hell, Summer?!
That's disgusting.

542
00:20:56,703 --> 00:20:58,602
Gross, Summer!
Jesus Christ!

543
00:20:58,636 --> 00:21:00,500
I was just joking around,
you --

544
00:21:00,535 --> 00:21:02,985
just seeing if you guys
pay any attention to me.

545
00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:04,504
Just want to be
a part of the fun.

546
00:21:04,539 --> 00:21:05,574
Get the fuck
out of here!

547
00:21:05,609 --> 00:21:06,782
Get out of here, Summer!

548
00:21:06,817 --> 00:21:07,921
fucking disgusting!
-Get out of here!

549
00:21:07,956 --> 00:21:09,578
You ruined
the Season 4 premiere!

550
00:21:09,613 --> 00:21:12,340
The Season 4 premiere,
you ruined it!

551
00:21:12,374 --> 00:21:20,037
♪♪

552
00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:27,734
♪♪

553
00:21:27,769 --> 00:21:35,639
♪♪

554
00:21:35,673 --> 00:21:43,509
♪♪

555
00:21:43,543 --> 00:21:45,096
God,
tomorrow's career day.

556
00:21:45,131 --> 00:21:47,754
I don't want to think about what
I do when I get out of school.

557
00:21:47,789 --> 00:21:49,860
I know exactly
what I want to do.

558
00:21:49,894 --> 00:21:51,517
I want to work
in hospice.

559
00:21:51,551 --> 00:21:53,967
I want to comfort
the people who are dying,

560
00:21:54,002 --> 00:21:56,349
who have no one else
in their lives --

561
00:21:56,384 --> 00:21:57,971
the real lonely people.

562
00:21:58,006 --> 00:22:00,457
I'm gonna look at their name
tags, and I'm gonna say,

563
00:22:00,491 --> 00:22:02,113
"I love you,"

564
00:22:02,148 --> 00:22:04,392
followed by whatever it says
on their name tag,

565
00:22:04,426 --> 00:22:06,394
over and over.

566
00:22:06,428 --> 00:22:07,843
What the fuck?

567
00:22:07,878 --> 00:22:09,362
[ Locker slams ]

568
00:22:09,397 --> 00:22:10,259
Hey, Morty, quick favor.

569
00:22:10,294 --> 00:22:11,882
What, cover me
in gasoline and spiders?

570
00:22:11,916 --> 00:22:13,401
Fine, yeah, I'm in.

571
00:22:13,435 --> 00:22:14,816
Wasn't my first pitch,

572
00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:17,991
but, hey, not gonna waste
this opportunity.

573
00:22:24,791 --> 00:22:26,379
Did you get any of that?

574
00:22:26,414 --> 00:22:30,694
♪♪