1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:03,400 News Anchor: In local news, child murderer Joseph Eli Lipnip 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,140 is scheduled to die tomorrow by lethal injection, 3 00:00:05,170 --> 00:00:07,840 his execution already drawing dozens more spectators 4 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,680 than the death of TV news. Carla? 5 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:12,050 Carla Johnson: The man that once ate his own son... 6 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,650 Wow. He's really getting executed after all this time. 7 00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:16,750 You know the son that he ate was -- 8 00:00:16,790 --> 00:00:18,150 Your best friend -- Tommy. 9 00:00:18,190 --> 00:00:19,250 We know. Stop true-crime bragging. 10 00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:20,890 I was traumatized, Summer. 11 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,990 Okay, your generation wouldn't get that. 12 00:00:22,030 --> 00:00:23,260 Bitch, my generation 13 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,990 gets traumatized for breakfast. 14 00:00:25,030 --> 00:00:27,560 It took years of therapy to even process the reality. 15 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:28,930 I mean, when I was a kid, 16 00:00:28,970 --> 00:00:30,970 I just told myself that Tommy had gotten lost 17 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,200 in the magical realm of Froopyland. 18 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,140 "Froopyland?" My make-believe world. 19 00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:37,810 I know the name's stupid, but it was so real to me. 20 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,170 Aren't you guys supposed to be at your father's 21 00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:40,680 for custody weekend? 22 00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:42,840 We're not in a hurry. Dad sleeps until sundown. 23 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,250 Can we talk a little bit more about this Froopy-- 24 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,580 [ Zap, bloop ] Summer: Not the bubble gun! 25 00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:48,550 There's no air -- [ Zap, bloop ] 26 00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:51,290 I gotta say, I am warming up to the bubble gun. 27 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:52,720 You know, if you're so great at naming things, 28 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:53,950 why don't you do it from now on? 29 00:00:53,990 --> 00:00:55,220 -What? -Froopyland. 30 00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:57,460 Was it my best work? I don't know. 31 00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,130 Does it deserve to be shit on creatively? 32 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,830 Yeah, that's right. 33 00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:02,260 I agree with your look of horrified realization. 34 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:04,900 You can be very inconsiderate sometimes. 35 00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:06,030 [ Rattling ] [ Grunting ] 36 00:01:06,070 --> 00:01:07,640 Here it is. 37 00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:09,100 You know, I collapsed a quantum tesseract to -- 38 00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:10,170 Dad, I don't care how you made it. 39 00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:11,710 I want to know if Tommy's still in there! 40 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:13,210 Relax, Beth. [ Jingling, crackling ] 41 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,910 If he is, we'll find him. 42 00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:16,510 He'll be the only sun-bleached skeleton 43 00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:19,010 with non-imaginary DNA. 44 00:01:19,050 --> 00:01:29,690 ♪ 45 00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:46,900 ♪ 46 00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:51,340 Synced by ElectricBump www.addic7ed.com 47 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:53,470 Tommy! 48 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:54,330 Tommy! 49 00:01:54,370 --> 00:01:55,540 This is a nightmare. 50 00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:56,800 I can't believe you used to lock me up 51 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,340 in this glorified chicken coop. 52 00:01:58,370 --> 00:01:59,840 Chicken coop? 53 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:01,840 Those are procedurally generated clouds, Beth. 54 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,810 That river is a rainbow. Literally. 55 00:02:04,050 --> 00:02:06,050 Come on, I-I-I put real elbow grease into this place. 56 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,780 Well, you're supposed to put elbow grease into your daughter! 57 00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:09,120 Gross. 58 00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:10,820 Do you think something ate him? Nope. 59 00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:12,190 Froopyland creatures were designed to be harmless. 60 00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,020 He definitely just starved to death. 61 00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:15,690 I could have been the one who starved to death in here. 62 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,060 What if I'd gotten hurt? 63 00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:18,420 God, you're right. I'm a terrible dad. 64 00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:20,190 Well, nothing to live for. 65 00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:21,960 Goodbye, cruel world! Dad! 66 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,760 [ Thump ] Oh, how do you like that? 67 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,670 What kind of merciless creator makes the ground bouncy? 68 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,840 I'm gonna have to drown myself. 69 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,300 [ Thump ] Unh! 70 00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:31,800 Oh, no. Oh, the water's breathable? 71 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:32,870 Who went and did that? 72 00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:33,940 Oh, whatever. 73 00:02:33,980 --> 00:02:35,240 Yeah, whatever. 74 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,010 A dad makes a toilet look like R2-D2, 75 00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:38,380 and it breaks the front page of Reddit, 76 00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:40,410 but I'm Charles Manson because I gave you 77 00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:42,020 your own world instead of an iPad. 78 00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:43,820 I think the words you're looking for are -- Aah! 79 00:02:43,850 --> 00:02:46,250 [ Screeches ] Holy [bleep] [Bleep] This thing has claws! 80 00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:48,020 Yeah, I get it. It's a childproof world. 81 00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:50,320 No, no, seriously, this hurts really bad! 82 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,360 This thing is sinking razor-sharp claws in -- 83 00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,890 Aah! [Bleep] 84 00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:56,360 You've made your point, Dad. 85 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,460 Dad? 86 00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:58,970 [ Pop, pop ] 87 00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:02,140 Ugh! [ Both panting ] 88 00:03:02,170 --> 00:03:05,170 Whose idea was this stupid custody weekend thing? 89 00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:07,070 I think it's supposed to help prevent abandonment issues. 90 00:03:07,110 --> 00:03:08,440 I want to be abandoned. 91 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,080 Yeah, I'm talking about Dad. [ Door opens ] 92 00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:11,950 Bienvenue a la Chez Divorced Dad. 93 00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:13,480 Wow, Dad. 94 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,950 Your place looks way less like a crackhouse. 95 00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:18,450 It's actually clean, like a cocaine house. 96 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,790 Dad, what's going on? 97 00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,850 I'm simply centered, activated -- 98 00:03:21,890 --> 00:03:22,920 [ Glass clinks ] [ Warble ] 99 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,190 And telekinetic? 100 00:03:24,230 --> 00:03:25,190 Pretty cool, huh? 101 00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:27,130 Check it out. Who wants a smoothie? 102 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,360 [ Rattle ] 103 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:29,730 [ Blender whirring ] 104 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:30,860 Oh -- Oh, no. Uh, oh, God. 105 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,170 Summer -- Summer, can you -- 106 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,400 -Aah! -Sorry. 107 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,670 [ Warble ] You have much to learn, my Uloo. 108 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:39,140 Morty, Summer, this is Kiara. 109 00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:41,010 She's a Krootabulan warrior priestess 110 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,340 from Krootabulon. 111 00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,380 I-I know where Krootabulans are from, Dad. 112 00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:45,810 Uh, Chaimuntolo. 113 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:46,910 Chaimuntolo, younglings. 114 00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:48,920 Hymen...cholo. 115 00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:50,620 Your father's mind holds love for you. 116 00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:52,450 I am humbled to meet in physicality. 117 00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:53,920 Dad, are you -- 118 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,890 In love with a badass, sexy alien lady? 119 00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:59,160 Ha, ha, I don't know, Summer. You tell me. 120 00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:00,890 I wasn't going to ask if you were in love 121 00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:02,100 since you barely know her. 122 00:04:02,130 --> 00:04:03,630 Summer. 123 00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,470 Kiara and I met on that interstellar dating service 124 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,270 Rick was always suggesting 125 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:07,400 when your mom and I were together. 126 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,240 And things just kind of clicked. 127 00:04:10,270 --> 00:04:11,270 We must move! 128 00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:13,040 Our reservation is at 7:00. 129 00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:14,810 [ Whoosh ] I hate to see her leave, 130 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,810 but I love to watch her phase shift away. 131 00:04:17,850 --> 00:04:19,780 I'm sure you noticed what she has three of, 132 00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:21,980 but guess what she has two of? 133 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,590 [ Screeches ] 134 00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:26,650 Oof! 135 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:28,050 All right, knock it off! 136 00:04:28,090 --> 00:04:29,460 Listen, I've been giving you a pass 137 00:04:29,490 --> 00:04:31,520 because I'm charmed that life finds a way, but -- 138 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,430 Aah! All right, you know what? 139 00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:35,800 [ Ray gun fires ] Ouch! 140 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,200 Oh! Unh! 141 00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:39,100 Ouch! God! 142 00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:40,800 [ Sizzling ] Aah! 143 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,540 Agh! 144 00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:43,840 [ Arm clicks ] 145 00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:45,340 Oh, Dad, this place is the safest. 146 00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:47,040 Best dad ever. 147 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,210 Can't you just say, "I admit it, I screwed up"? 148 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,510 Uh, what would be the point of that? 149 00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:51,880 [ Chuckling ] You can't do it, can you? 150 00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:54,110 You can't just [bleep] apologize. 151 00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:56,350 Okay, okay, Beth, I'm sorry... 152 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,280 you think you deserve an apology. 153 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,220 [ Screeches ] Hey, don't look at me. 154 00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:01,890 You let your kid roll around on the floor of a target, 155 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,090 it's gonna get stepped on. 156 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,120 [ Screeches ] 157 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,230 [ Whir, zap ] 158 00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:09,430 Huh. Well, here's the problem right here. 159 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:12,130 We've got a bunch of Froopyland procedural carbons 160 00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:14,530 all gummed up and mixed in with real human DNA. 161 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:15,700 Are you saying Tommy survived here 162 00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:17,170 by having sex with Froopy creatures, 163 00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:18,340 creating Froopy-human hybrid offspring, 164 00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:20,510 and then consuming their proteins, 165 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,440 sustaining himself with an endless cycle of cannibalistic incest? 166 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,640 It's just a working theory. 167 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,140 Of course, if that's the case, 168 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,580 I expect he'd be worshiped as a kind of god 169 00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:27,850 by a medieval-level society 170 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,020 of his least-delicious children. 171 00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:30,620 Halt! 172 00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:31,650 You are now prisoners of our exalted ruler, 173 00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:32,990 giver and taker of life, 174 00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:34,920 helper and consumer of mortality, 175 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,360 dispenser of life -- Yes, if I could interrupt? 176 00:05:36,390 --> 00:05:37,590 We're way ahead of the reveal here. 177 00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,190 Yeah, just take us to King Tommy. 178 00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:40,760 I thought warrior priestesses 179 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,430 could only leave Krootabulon on a hunt. 180 00:05:42,460 --> 00:05:43,560 Mmm. Thank you, sweetie. 181 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,970 I hope it's not human season. 182 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,600 I'm on Earth hunting the Varrix. I would never hunt a human. 183 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,500 Your father and I are soul-bonded. 184 00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:52,940 Soul-bonded? 185 00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,540 Um, does your planet have shorter days, 186 00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:56,480 because you guys are moving kind of fast, no? 187 00:05:56,510 --> 00:05:58,380 [ Sniffing ] 188 00:05:58,410 --> 00:06:01,210 [ Dramatic music plays ] 189 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,220 [ Whoosh ] 190 00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,320 Go get him, honey! 191 00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:05,490 She's always hunting. [ Chuckles ] 192 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,250 She probably knew a Varrix worked here, 193 00:06:07,290 --> 00:06:09,620 and that's why she said the Yelp reviews didn't matter. 194 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,360 Dad, do you understand 195 00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:13,190 how serious Krootabulon soul-bonding is? 196 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:16,830 Uh, gee, Morty, I don't know. It's got such a casual name. 197 00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:18,230 If you want to lecture anyone about commitment, 198 00:06:18,270 --> 00:06:19,670 start with your mom. 199 00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:22,270 Oh, my God. Dad, is that what this is about? 200 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,200 Are you rushing into a new thing to get back at Mom? 201 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,470 Every weekend, you two have told me to move on. 202 00:06:26,510 --> 00:06:28,270 Move on, like, out of bed. 203 00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,210 Like, stop using paper towels for toilet paper, 204 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,580 not move on into a sloppy rebound. 205 00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:35,250 Dad, you need to slow down, rethink this soul bond. 206 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,480 Why don't you just say what you really mean? 207 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:38,550 You think it's cool 208 00:06:38,590 --> 00:06:40,650 that having sex with her gives me telekinesis 209 00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:42,520 and you recognize she's got a hot bod 210 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,290 like Cheetara in "Thundercats," 211 00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:45,590 but you're grossed out 212 00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:48,260 by her avocado-shaped head and blue skin, 213 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:50,930 and you think I want to put a bag and a wig on her head. 214 00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:54,030 After all the time and energy I spent 215 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,300 teaching you two about race... 216 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,070 [ Varrix screams ] ...you ended up racist. 217 00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:58,440 [ Whoosh ] 218 00:06:58,470 --> 00:07:00,010 Soon your world will be rid of Varrix. 219 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,110 Tomorrow, we celebrate. 220 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:03,410 We could take the kids to the water park. 221 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,550 We celebrate with a hunt! 222 00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:07,450 Ooh. You kids want to hunt? 223 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,550 -Yes. -Yes. 224 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:10,220 [ Trumpet fanfare ] 225 00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:13,390 All kneel for King Tommy! 226 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,290 I'm not kneeling. Suck my [bleep] 227 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,360 Well, hello, all! 228 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,830 I am the King of Froopyland, 229 00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:22,360 but I go by another name, too. 230 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,160 We know. It's Tommy! 231 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,430 -We know. -We know. 232 00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:28,500 I have lived here since I was a mere child. 233 00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:29,700 -We know. -Got it. 234 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,170 I suppose you're wondering, 235 00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:33,270 how do I sustain myself? 236 00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:34,570 -Oh, boy. -No, we aren't. 237 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:36,440 I always find the theater 238 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,680 is the best way to clarify things. 239 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:39,750 -Ugh. -Seriously? 240 00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:41,910 Oh, my God. Players, go! 241 00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:43,420 I am little Tommy. 242 00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:44,550 [ Crowd cheers ] 243 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,320 I am tiny Beth. 244 00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:48,220 [ Crowd boos ] 245 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,290 Oh, come on. 246 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,290 Come with me to a magic land. 247 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,590 Froopy: Don't do it! 248 00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:54,790 This is my secret Froopyland 249 00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:56,500 where I have no rules! 250 00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:58,200 I am excited. 251 00:07:58,370 --> 00:08:02,240 I am jealous of Tommy's friends and his Nintendo 252 00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:04,440 and his dad who likes him. 253 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,570 I take it Tommy wasn't class playwright. 254 00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:08,710 You want to see the Honey Swamp? 255 00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:10,580 Yes! Let's do it! 256 00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:12,510 Well, I want to see you dead. 257 00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:14,780 Ow, help! I'm stuck! 258 00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,320 I'm covered in honey. 259 00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:17,780 Huh. Well, that's interesting. 260 00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:19,190 Fake news. 261 00:08:19,220 --> 00:08:21,320 Many nights have passed, 262 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,690 trapped in this strange land. 263 00:08:23,730 --> 00:08:28,860 I am hungry, and all I can do to pass the time is hump. 264 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:31,460 I will hump this rock. 265 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:32,770 [ Tapping ] 266 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,430 I will hump this tree. 267 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,700 [ Tapping ] 268 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:38,570 I will hump this beast of the land 269 00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:40,240 and put my seed in it. 270 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,110 [ Tapping ] 271 00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:45,180 I am the first of Tommy's children. 272 00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:48,710 Eat of my flesh so you may survive. 273 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,350 And so I did. 274 00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:52,790 Oh, wow. 275 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,320 Okay. Yeah. 276 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,590 Certified fresh. Good -- Good job. 277 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:59,530 Perhaps a demonstration is in order. [ Unzips shorts ] 278 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,630 No, that is the last thing that is in order! Ugh. 279 00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:03,160 Oh, my God. Poor Froopy character. 280 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,160 Leave him alone. [ Shorts zip ] 281 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,100 Ahh. Gather round, gang! [ Moos ] 282 00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,170 Dinner time. 283 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:09,500 [ Splorch ] 284 00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:12,340 All right, that's it. I'm outta here. 285 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,010 What are you doing? 286 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,370 We're in the middle of an adventure. 287 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:17,180 Here's some things an adventure needs, Beth. 288 00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:19,280 Conflict, stakes, a way for me to benefit, 289 00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:20,780 and, clearly, Morty. 290 00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:22,350 But Tommy's still in there, 291 00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:24,120 raping Muppets and eating babies. 292 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,650 Yep. Luckily, that's not our problem. 293 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,750 Time to pull the plug. 294 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,190 Pull the plug? 295 00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:29,890 We have to get Tommy out of there, okay? 296 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,360 We -- We need to do the right thing. 297 00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:32,530 Do what you never did as a dad -- 298 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:33,730 Put in a little effort. 299 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,460 All right, cut the high-road routine. 300 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,660 We both saw Tommy's shitty play. 301 00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,500 You pushed him in the Honey Swamp, Beth. 302 00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:40,170 His very happy life is in your hands. 303 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,900 You go save him from it. 304 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:44,370 [ Scoffs ] You're gonna believe a play over your own daughter? 305 00:09:44,410 --> 00:09:46,670 Yes, I am, Beth, because you're not my own daughter. 306 00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:47,540 Oh, God, yes. 307 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:48,810 I'm one of infinite Beths 308 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,010 with infinite fathers in infinite universes. 309 00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:52,610 It's called a hug, Dad. It won't kill you. 310 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:53,850 Yeah, don't be so sure. 311 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,350 You know why all Ricks made a Froopyland 312 00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:56,520 for all their little girls? 313 00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:57,920 Same reason I wasn't surprised 314 00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,690 by Tommy's overwritten, badly structured, 315 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,350 cheaply produced flashback. 316 00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:02,860 You were a scary [bleep] kid, man. 317 00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:04,590 [ Scoffing ] Oh, my God. 318 00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:06,430 I didn't make Froopyland to get rid of you, Beth. 319 00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:08,160 I did it to protect the neighborhood. 320 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,600 Not in a [burps] noble sense. 321 00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:11,260 It was just more practical to sequester you 322 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,670 before I had to start, you know, cloning a replacement 323 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,340 for every less-than-polite little boy or gullible animal 324 00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:18,170 that might cross your socio-path. 325 00:10:18,210 --> 00:10:20,410 You would rather believe I'm evil 326 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:21,510 than admit that you were a bad father? 327 00:10:21,540 --> 00:10:23,210 Oh, dude, no. 328 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,780 No, bad father all the way to the max over here. 329 00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:26,350 I'm a [bleep] nutcase. 330 00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:28,050 And the acorn plopped straight down, baby. 331 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,450 Look at some of this shit 332 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,920 you were asking me to make you as a kid. 333 00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,350 Ray guns. 334 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:33,820 A whip that forces people to like you. 335 00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:37,990 Invisibility cuffs, a parent trap, a lightning gun, 336 00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:40,490 a teddy bear with anatomically correct innards, 337 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:44,530 night-vision googly-eye glasses, sound-erasing sneakers, 338 00:10:44,570 --> 00:10:47,500 false fingerprints, fall-asleep darts, 339 00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:50,900 a lie-detecting doll, an indestructible baseball bat, 340 00:10:50,940 --> 00:10:54,910 a Taser shaped like a ladybug, a fake police badge, 341 00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:58,480 location-tracking stickers, rainbow-colored duct tape, 342 00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:01,880 mind-control hair clips, poison gum, 343 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,820 a pink, sentient switchblade. 344 00:11:03,850 --> 00:11:05,480 Hi, Beth, you've gotten taller. 345 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,620 Shall we resume stabbing? 346 00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:07,850 Has it occurred to you 347 00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:09,260 that I asked you to make those things 348 00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,020 because I wanted you to spend time with me? 349 00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:13,760 Has it occurred to you that if I did try killing Tommy, 350 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,760 it might be because I was jealous of his family? 351 00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:16,420 Wait, what? Why? 352 00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:18,560 Wasn't his dad, like, some kind of cannibal? 353 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,830 Seems like it must be hereditary. 354 00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:21,970 Oh, my God. This is your fault. 355 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,300 I am not a bad person. 356 00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:24,500 I'm gonna go back in there, 357 00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:26,640 I'm getting Tommy, and I'm fixing this! 358 00:11:26,670 --> 00:11:30,410 Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin. [ Jingling ] 359 00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:31,740 I don't know why I just said that. 360 00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,310 Doesn't make a lot of sense, but gotta stand by it. 361 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:36,100 Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin. 362 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:37,820 I'm owning it. 363 00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:41,180 [ Ax swings ] 364 00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:43,550 Morty: No, Dad! You're not doing it right! [ Ax swings ] 365 00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,620 Cutting off their heads isn't doing it right? 366 00:11:45,650 --> 00:11:47,820 They're [grunts] clearly regenerative! 367 00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:50,190 I-I think you have to stab them through the heart or something. 368 00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:51,960 You think or you know? 369 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:54,090 I thought you were the alien expert, Isaac Asi-hole. 370 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,960 Don't snap at me! I'm tired! 371 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,760 -Me, too! -We're all tired! 372 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,630 [ Ax swings ] 373 00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:01,100 [ Whoosh ] [ Grunts ] 374 00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:02,870 That's the last of them. 375 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,200 Tonight, we celebrate. 376 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,370 With a hunt? 377 00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:10,080 Yes, for tomorrow, we hunt. 378 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,750 [ Rain trickling ] [ Clears throat ] 379 00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:20,290 I, uh, really have to get out of this soul bond. 380 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,820 -What the [bleep] Dad? -Oh, my God! Duh! 381 00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:22,860 -Obviously! -Yeah, no kidding! 382 00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:23,890 Can you guys help me? 383 00:12:23,930 --> 00:12:25,190 What? How? 384 00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:27,090 Can I just, uh, tell her it's because of my kids? 385 00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:29,800 You know, like, you don't like the shape of her head, or -- 386 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,830 That's you, Dad! That's you! 387 00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:33,970 You're a baby and an idiot! 388 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,940 I think that's been established, Summer. Now help me! 389 00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:37,400 First, I want you to admit 390 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,870 that you're a closet racist, a beta-male sexist, 391 00:12:39,910 --> 00:12:42,040 and you dragged everyone into a horrible situation 392 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,280 by only thinking of yourself. 393 00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:44,340 Okay. 394 00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,080 I want to hear you say it. 395 00:12:46,110 --> 00:12:48,110 [ Sighs deeply ] 396 00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:50,080 Look, I'm a closeted racist, 397 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,980 and I'm sexist and selfish, 398 00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:55,090 and I dragged us all into my sexist, racist bad things 399 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,860 because I'm stupid. Thank you. 400 00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:58,860 Now you're gonna help me, right? She just did. 401 00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,760 Yeah, clean up your own mess. 402 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,700 Wait, wait, what? 403 00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:04,260 Oh, man. 404 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,170 [ Trumpet fanfare ] Tommy: All right, everybody. 405 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,630 Next item on the docket -- 406 00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:09,840 I would like to have sex with some of you, 407 00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:12,400 and then eat the babies. [ Froopys murmuring ] 408 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:13,870 I thought you'd like that. 409 00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:15,710 I do keep rolling out the hits, don't I? 410 00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:16,910 [ Bang ] 411 00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:19,650 Oh! It's the Magic Crayon Lady! 412 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:22,210 Are you hungry? I was just about to make dinner. 413 00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:23,920 And by "make dinner," I mean -- 414 00:13:23,950 --> 00:13:26,650 Tommy, I'm going to take you to the real world. 415 00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:28,050 Well, this is the real world. 416 00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:29,690 No, you don't understand! Your dad -- 417 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,420 Uh, people think your dad ate you! 418 00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:33,160 So? You doy-oy! 419 00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:34,660 People should eat people. 420 00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:35,860 Just leave me alone! 421 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,660 Tommy, you don't understand. 422 00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:38,960 I have to make this right 423 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,000 because it's my fault that you're in here. 424 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,900 I'm Beth. [ All gasp ] 425 00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:43,970 -Beth? -The destroyer! 426 00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:45,170 The destroyer! 427 00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:47,070 Oh, suck it up, Princess Incest. 428 00:13:47,110 --> 00:13:48,710 You fell into some honey. 429 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:52,040 Well, it tends to happen when one is pushed into honey. 430 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,080 I respect your right to believe I pushed you. 431 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,080 Oh, do I get to have that? 432 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,050 Is my reality like a little side of fries -- 433 00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:01,790 a little Kwanzaa you're willing to slide my way? 434 00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:04,460 Yes, because I'm focused on saving your father's life 435 00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:06,290 because I'm not a petty piece of [bleep] 436 00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:08,390 So, then, it should be pretty easy 437 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,700 to say, "Sorry I pushed you." 438 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,160 Real easy and not necessary, 439 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,770 since you coming home will save your dad's life 440 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,130 whereas nothing is changed 441 00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,900 by anyone stroking your batshit-crazy ego. 442 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,270 Sorry, forgive me. 443 00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:19,870 Uh, I've been in Froopyland for quite a while. 444 00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:21,370 Have apologies changed? 445 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:24,080 Tommy, I'm sorry you think you deserve an apology. 446 00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:25,380 Oh, my God. I'm my father. 447 00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:28,210 Uh, will someone just kill this B-word? 448 00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:29,420 [ Froopys muttering threateningly ] 449 00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:30,850 [ Grunts ] Hi-ya! 450 00:14:30,890 --> 00:14:33,190 Oh, my God. I'm my father! 451 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:34,420 Ya! Ooh! Froopy! 452 00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:36,120 [ Screams ] 453 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,020 Switchblade: It's stab time! Together: Ooh! 454 00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:39,260 [ School bell rings ] 455 00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,390 And that's why one pussy plus two pussies 456 00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:44,230 makes a bunch of pussies. 457 00:14:44,270 --> 00:14:45,460 Come on, y'all, I'm trying to make this 458 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,370 appealing to your sex-addicted lifestyles. 459 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,140 Hi, I need to pull Morty out of school. Come on, Morty. 460 00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:52,040 Ha! You heard your daddy, Morty. 461 00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:53,370 you have to leave school. 462 00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:55,140 Wait, what are my values? 463 00:14:55,180 --> 00:14:57,010 Dad, what's going on? We're going to Alaska. 464 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,610 What? Why? It's nice there. 465 00:14:58,650 --> 00:15:00,850 Also, I broke up with Kiara, and she didn't take it well, 466 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,050 and she wants to murder you two. 467 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,920 What? Th-Then why are we walking? 468 00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:05,120 I'm walking because I'm tired. 469 00:15:05,150 --> 00:15:06,250 You guys should definitely run. 470 00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:09,020 [ Whoosh ] [ Screams ] 471 00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:10,260 [ Thud ] Excuse me, I just -- 472 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:12,220 You know what? I'm -- I'm just gonna go left. 473 00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:14,130 No, okay, your left, that's fine. 474 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,400 Do you know what left is, 'cause -- Ugh! 475 00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:19,300 What does your breakup have to do with us? [ Engine starts ] 476 00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:21,170 Yeah, we chose Mom hands down. 477 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,900 I thought we made that clear at the lawyer's office 478 00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:25,270 and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook. 479 00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:27,010 [ Crash ] [ Tires squeal ] 480 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,240 She kind of blames you guys for the breakup. 481 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,510 -Why? -Why? 482 00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:31,940 Because I told her it was your fault. 483 00:15:31,980 --> 00:15:33,380 -What?! -What?! 484 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:34,980 Look, I'm not an evil person. 485 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:36,550 I'm just not very imaginative! 486 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:39,150 [ Warbling ] 487 00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:41,450 [ Grunts ] [ Metal twisting ] 488 00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:42,320 Oh! 489 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,520 [ All scream ] 490 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,290 Rick: ♪ Doo-doo butt 491 00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:47,290 ♪ Doo-doo-doo -- doo-doo butt 492 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,560 No. [ Jingling ] 493 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,700 ♪ Doo-doo butt, doo-doo butt ♪ 494 00:15:50,730 --> 00:15:52,970 Hey. Hey. 495 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,870 Um, hmm, so just, like, out of curiosity, 496 00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,900 if you were gonna make a clone of Tommy, 497 00:15:58,970 --> 00:16:00,370 what would you need to get started? 498 00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:02,170 I don't kn-- Tommy's DNA? 499 00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:04,010 Okay, 'cause he, um... 500 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,180 Yeah, he didn't want to come back, 501 00:16:06,210 --> 00:16:08,510 so, um, he gave me this. 502 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,380 He gave you his finger? 503 00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:11,550 Uh, well, what happened is -- 504 00:16:11,590 --> 00:16:13,850 It's okay. It doesn't matter. Okay. 505 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,220 This'll take about three hours. 506 00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:16,820 Okay. 507 00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:18,520 Hey. You want to help? 508 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,560 Okay. 509 00:16:20,590 --> 00:16:24,000 ♪ Doo♪ ♪ I got a doo-doo in my butt ♪ 510 00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:28,000 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo♪ ♪ And I don't know what to do ♪ 511 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,300 ♪ With the doo-doo in my butt ♪ 512 00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:34,510 ♪ But I know that a father should say to you ♪ 513 00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:37,080 ♪ That he's proud of you ♪ 514 00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:40,210 ♪ Doo ♪ ♪ Every daughter is a doo-doo from a father's butt ♪ 515 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:43,580 ♪ Biologically speaking, the butt is a nut ♪ 516 00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:46,050 ♪ And every father fathers wrong ♪ 517 00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:48,390 ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ And there isn't a song ♪ 518 00:16:48,420 --> 00:16:51,220 ♪ That can change that ♪♪ 519 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,590 I am wiped out. I guess I'll turn in. 520 00:16:53,630 --> 00:16:56,160 Cool. 521 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,360 Dad? 522 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,260 I feel like I've spent my life 523 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:02,940 pretending you're a great guy and trying to be like you. 524 00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:04,470 And the ugly truth has always been -- 525 00:17:04,510 --> 00:17:08,440 That I'm not that great a guy and you're exactly like me. 526 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,540 Am I evil? 527 00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:11,240 Worse. You're smart. 528 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,480 When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. 529 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,580 And I've never met a universe that was into it. 530 00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:17,320 The universe is basically an animal. 531 00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:18,620 It grazes on the ordinary. 532 00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:20,920 It creates infinite idiots just to eat them, 533 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,960 not unlike your friend Timmy. Tommy. 534 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,520 Yeah, it hardly matters now, sweetie. 535 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,490 You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, 536 00:17:26,530 --> 00:17:27,790 take reality for a ride, 537 00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:29,500 but it'll never stop trying to throw you. 538 00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:30,700 And, eventually, it will. 539 00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:32,560 There's no other way off. 540 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,930 Dad, I'm out of excuses to not be who I am. 541 00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:38,940 So who am I? What do I do? 542 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,740 My advice -- Take off. 543 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:43,110 Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out. 544 00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:44,310 I can't do that. 545 00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:46,080 The kids, Jerry, my job, 546 00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:48,080 and, as much as I hate to admit it, ABC's "The Bachelor." 547 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,180 I can make a clone of you, a perfect instance of you, 548 00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:51,220 with all your memories. 549 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,720 An exact copy in every way. 550 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,890 It'll love and provide for the kids, 551 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,890 do your job, and consume broadcast-network reality TV 552 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,390 on the same allegedly ironic level as you. 553 00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:01,590 You could be gone a day, a week, 554 00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:04,000 or the rest of your life with zero consequences. 555 00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:05,330 The moment you decide to come back, 556 00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:07,770 I flip a switch, and the clone's job is done. 557 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,540 It feels no pain, it regrets nothing, 558 00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:13,110 and has zero chance of going "Blade Runner." 559 00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,770 If nothing matters, why would you do that for me? 560 00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:18,680 I don't know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. 561 00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:20,410 Or maybe it makes you matter. 562 00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:21,650 Maybe I love you. 563 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:22,710 Maybe something about your mother. 564 00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,420 Don't jump a gift shark in the mouth. 565 00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:26,690 I don't know if I can do it. 566 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,650 Then stay, and luxuriate in a life 567 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,590 you can finally know you've chosen. 568 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:33,030 My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, 569 00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,760 you're finally gonna chill the [bleep] out. 570 00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:42,470 Okay. 571 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,640 I know what I want to do. 572 00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:45,700 [ Whoosh ] 573 00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:46,770 Aah! 574 00:18:46,810 --> 00:18:48,340 [ Thud ] Ow! 575 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:50,380 You can't run forever! 576 00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:51,710 She's really pissed off. 577 00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:53,510 I know. It's kinda hot. 578 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:54,680 Shut up! 579 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,150 The hunters! They're back! Run! 580 00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:58,620 -We're not hunters. -We want to hide with you. 581 00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:00,420 We're not hiding. We're nesting. 582 00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:01,420 Ooh la la. 583 00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:02,850 [ All scream ] 584 00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:04,760 The children must be destroyed 585 00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:06,120 so that we can be together. 586 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,530 You need to break up with her, Dad -- properly! 587 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,560 [ Whoosh ] God damn it, Dad! 588 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,500 [ Grunts ] Dump her! 589 00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:14,630 Okay, okay. 590 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:16,500 Kiara, let's just run away. 591 00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:17,500 -Dad! -Come on! 592 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:18,970 Just rip the Band-Aid off! 593 00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:20,370 Okay! 594 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,340 Kiara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists 595 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:24,240 who were demanding I break up with you, 596 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,640 I lied. 597 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,510 If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, 598 00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:29,080 it's me. 599 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:32,750 I'm the one who wants to break up. 600 00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,190 I -- I'm not an evil person. 601 00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:35,620 I'm lazy, I'm cowardly, 602 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:38,020 and -- and I do not know what I'm doing. 603 00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:40,160 Look, I got someone pregnant at 17. 604 00:19:40,190 --> 00:19:42,760 We're getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. 605 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,400 I was excited to date someone cool 606 00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:47,530 because it would make my ex notice me. 607 00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:52,140 I would expect nothing less from humanity -- 608 00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:54,640 a selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that -- 609 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,740 -Kiara? -Trandor! 610 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:58,780 What are you doing here? 611 00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:00,450 Just...hunting. 612 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,110 Do you really expect me to believe 613 00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:04,220 it has nothing to do with us? 614 00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:05,680 You knew Earth was my domain. 615 00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:07,650 I don't like what you're insinuating. 616 00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:09,720 Dad, can we go now? Hold on a second. 617 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,620 I'm starting to get the feeling that I was the rebound. 618 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:14,490 Dad, you just got handed an Ex Machina. 619 00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:15,760 You're taking it. 620 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,460 Varrix nests spread across 300 galaxies, 621 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:22,200 and you just happened to pick this planet to hunt? 622 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,300 That's Gorgon shit -- total Gorgon shit! 623 00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:26,540 [ Birds chirping ] 624 00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:28,310 We're home! 625 00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:29,880 Hey, guys! What's for dinner? 626 00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:31,480 How was Jerry's? The usual. 627 00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:33,880 Can we have pizza? Pizza sounds great. 628 00:20:33,910 --> 00:20:35,850 Hey, Rick, did you know my dad was dating an alien? 629 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,550 No. Gross. For the alien. 630 00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:40,750 Aw, crap, I think Arnaldo's is closed. 631 00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:42,650 Are you guys sure you want pizza? 632 00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:44,690 [ Whoosh ] 633 00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:46,790 Arnaldo's isn't closed in the dimension 634 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,530 where they didn't invent Daylight Savings! 635 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,400 What would we do without you? I love you, Dad. 636 00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:52,860 Love you, too, sweetie. 637 00:20:54,570 --> 00:20:56,000 By the way, that wasn't time travel. 638 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,570 There were just a couple pizzas on the counter. 639 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,270 I grabbed them. 640 00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:05,280 ♪ 641 00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:11,380 ♪ 642 00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:17,520 ♪ 643 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:23,630 ♪ 644 00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:29,740 ♪ 645 00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:32,340 [ Beep ] Hey, Jerry, it's Kiara. 646 00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:34,710 Listen, my boyfriend saw those texts you've been sending me, 647 00:21:34,740 --> 00:21:36,340 and he got pretty pissed off. 648 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:38,580 If he calls you, just ignore him! [ Beep ] 649 00:21:38,610 --> 00:21:40,050 [ Beep ] This is Carmox. 650 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,650 I have intercepted sexual communications 651 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,550 between you and my new girlfriend, Kiara. 652 00:21:43,580 --> 00:21:45,520 I am coming to kill you now! [ Beep ] 653 00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:47,290 [ Beep ] Rick: Yo, Jerry, it's the Big R. 654 00:21:47,420 --> 00:21:49,420 Uh, I killed that alien that was coming after ya. 655 00:21:49,460 --> 00:21:51,060 Looking out for ya, buddy. [ Beep ] 656 00:21:51,090 --> 00:21:52,790 [ Beep ] Hey, Jerry, it's Rick. 657 00:21:52,830 --> 00:21:54,490 Don't be mad. I [bleep] your ex-girlfriend Kiara. 658 00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:55,730 Kiara: Who are you talking to, Rick? 659 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,260 Doesn't matter. [ Beep ] 660 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,800 [ Beep ] Hey, Jerry, this is Michael 661 00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:00,530 down at The Antique Phone rentals. 662 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:01,970 Um, I'm gonna go ahead and let you off the hook 663 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,640 for the $70 late fee. 664 00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:05,240 You can go ahead and keep that answering machine. 665 00:22:05,270 --> 00:22:06,870 Nobody really uses those anymore 666 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,470 except for exposition on TV shows, anyways. 667 00:22:08,510 --> 00:22:09,570 [ Click ] 668 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,200 Synced by ElectricBump www.addic7ed.com