1
00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,568
All right, Morty,
you ready for our adventure
2
00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:03,969
to the Lost City
of Atlantis?
3
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,204
Ready as I'll ever be,
Rick.
4
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,272
For [Bleep] sake.
5
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,475
Hello, I'm Rick K-22.
This is my Morty.
6
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,510
We're going from
reality to reality
7
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,945
asking Ricks to contribute
8
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,814
to the Citadel of Ricks
Redevelopment Fund.
9
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:17,049
What are you, stupid?
10
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,517
We're done with
the Citadel of Ricks.
11
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,185
I was never on board
with it in the first place.
12
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,920
That's why
I murdered everyone in charge
13
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:22,888
and left it to rot.
14
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,790
That was you.
15
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,593
They tried to murder him first.
Aw, geez.
16
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,128
Well,
you'll be happy to know
17
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,462
that the council's
gone now...
18
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,930
Yeah, he knows.
He murdered them.
19
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:34,166
You want to rein in your Morty?
Every day.
20
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,768
The Citadel of Ricks
Redevelopment Fund
21
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:38,170
donates... Morty, he's not
gonna donate.
22
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,905
You're pitching
the Policeman's Ball
23
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:41,340
to a black teenager here.
24
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,275
Let's go. You don't
have to be a dick.
25
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,244
I think you know that's not true.
Geez.
26
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,879
I didn't know there were
still Ricks and Mortys
27
00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,280
living on the Citadel.
28
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,448
I wonder what their
day-to-day lives are like.
29
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:50,616
Well, you can keep
wondering that
30
00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:51,950
while we go
on a fun, fresh,
31
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,552
self-contained adventure
to Atlantis.
32
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,355
Anyone continuing to explore
the Citadel is either stupid
33
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,090
or one of
the unfortunate millions
34
00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,992
held hostage
by their terrible ideas.
35
00:00:59,994 --> 00:01:02,194
Man, I'm glad
I'm not one of them!
36
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,777
Announcer Rick:
Citadel Morning News.
37
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,178
News about the Citadel
in the morning,
38
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,513
pretty self explanatory.
39
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,615
Good morning.
I'm Rick D-716B.
40
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,951
And I'm Rick D-716.
Must be nice.
41
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,553
Coming up, gravity outages
in East Sanchez Heights...
42
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,822
And, is your uranium-powered
cellular matrix
43
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:04,823
making you sick?
44
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,592
The answer
may not surprise you.
45
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,460
It's...
Yes, it's uranium.
46
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,729
Those stories and more,
after this break.
47
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:14,266
Sam Elliot: 60 iterations
off the central finite curve,
48
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,235
there's a Rick
that works more with wood
49
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,803
than polarity plating.
50
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:21,173
His name is Simple Rick
but he's no dummy.
51
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,641
He realized long ago
52
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,810
that the greatest thing
he'd ever create
53
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,044
was his daughter.
54
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,346
I love Daddy!
55
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:28,847
Sam Elliot:
We captured that moment...
56
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,883
We run it on a loop
through Simple Rick's mind...
57
00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,951
And the chemical
it makes his brain secrete
58
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:36,388
goes into every Simple Rick's
"Simple Wafers" Wafer Cookie.
59
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:38,323
Come home to
the impossible flavor
60
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,958
of your own completion.
61
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,960
Come home to Simple Rick's.
62
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,128
Just one day remains
63
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,030
before our
newly democratic Citadel
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00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,398
elects its first President,
65
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,734
it's anyone's race
among the Rick candidates.
66
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,202
But a certain
other candidate
67
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:51,503
should be getting
at least one vote
68
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,105
for most adorable.
69
00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:54,540
That's right.
70
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,841
The Morty party candidate's
still in the race,
71
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,776
and you just gotta
love him for that.
72
00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,145
Here you see him in his little
Morty suit waving...
73
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,847
Isn't that adorable?
Little jackass.
74
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,448
Yeah,
I think we actually have
75
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:04,783
the audio
for his speech here...
76
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,385
Aw, geez. Aw, man.
77
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,953
I'm gonna lose the election
and stuff.
78
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,423
We had a good run, sir,
79
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,392
but I think it's time
to pull out of the race.
80
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,527
I feel pretty confident
about tonight's debate.
81
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,297
You shouldn't, sir.
You should be terrified.
82
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,365
Maybe you should find
a little faith, young man.
83
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,001
You don't pay me
to have faith.
84
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,703
And we're the same age!
85
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,345
- Aah!
- Whoa!
86
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,349
Sorry.
I-I was expecting...
87
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,717
A Rick partner?
88
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,719
Lesson one, rookie,
expect the unexpected.
89
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,721
Now, get in.
90
00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,657
Mortys are human!
91
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,060
Get the [Bleep] off the car,
you Rickless [Bleep] animal!
92
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,329
Whoa! Morty Cop: The election's
got these yellow shirts
93
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,364
more riled up than
a picture-day Jessica.
94
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,665
That's pretty harsh, sir.
95
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,400
So report me.
Nobody gives a [Bleep]
96
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,436
Look, I'm just saying,
it makes me a little sad
97
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,171
to hear a Morty cop
calling Mortys animals.
98
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:00,939
Well, it makes me sad to hear
another Rick cop
99
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,507
buying into his
sensitivity training.
100
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,243
Well, I'm glad to know
there's more like me.
101
00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:05,911
There was one.
102
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,779
Why do you think that seat was empty?
103
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,415
Rick Dispatch: Robbery at Fifth
and Avenue.
104
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,750
Fifth and
105
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,418
That's Morty Town.
Unit seven responding.
106
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,624
Rick Teacher:
Good idea, Rick.
107
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,158
All Morty Students:
Good idea, Rick.
108
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,760
This is a great adventure.
109
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,729
All:
This is a great adventure.
110
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,864
I love being
your new Morty.
111
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,934
All: I love being
your new Mor... Farty.
112
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,836
Very amusing, Mr. Smith.
113
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,338
Almost as amusing as
when your first Rick
114
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,407
was decapitated on
Zorpantheon Nine.
115
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,775
Or was that
your third Rick?
116
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,343
How many Ricks
have you had?
117
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,678
Five. I see.
118
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,547
So you are top of the class
in something.
119
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,783
Tomorrow you'll be
transferred to your new Ricks.
120
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,852
Hopefully
they will be your last.
121
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,854
Yes, Slow Ri...
Tall Morty?
122
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:51,657
Di... did I gradgitate
this time yet?
123
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,558
Anything's possible,
Tall Morty.
124
00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:59,898
I guess we won't be seeing
each other after this?
125
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,967
I say we make
our last day count.
126
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,503
I say... we go to
the Wishing Portal.
127
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,138
That's a myth.
It's not a myth.
128
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,439
My first Rick's fourth Morty
129
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,041
knew a Rick
whose Morty went there.
130
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:10,776
If we're not here
for graduation,
131
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,811
our butts are gonna wind up
in Morty Town.
132
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,213
I thought your last Rick
fused you with a lizard,
133
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,281
not a chicken.
134
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,849
Okay, fine. I'm in.
135
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,084
Me too.
136
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:22,788
What the hell?!
I thought I saw a fly.
137
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,497
Supervisor Rick:
138
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,799
Listen up, [Bleep] nuts.
139
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,667
I've been your supervisor
for five years,
140
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,736
but all shitty things
must come to an end
141
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,938
and I have been promoted
to regional manager.
142
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,540
All:
143
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,041
Yeah, I feel the same way,
may be never meet again.
144
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,242
Of course,
145
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,811
that makes the position
of supervisor available,
146
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:48,447
so, as of next week,
the ass you'll be kissing
147
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,848
will be that of...
148
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,517
K-83, affectionately
known as Cool Rick.
149
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,885
All:
150
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,320
I know
I'm new to the Citadel,
151
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,255
and some of you might not think
I put in my time,
152
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,590
but what can I say?
153
00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,758
I'm Cool Rick!
154
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,159
Yo! Ha! Ha!
Check me out!
155
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,729
All right knuckleheads,
any questions?
156
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,766
All right, then, back to work,
you gold rickers.
157
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,510
No Ricks, no families,
158
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,580
high off their asses,
and running amuck.
159
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,215
Mortys are raised
to be sidekicks.
160
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:25,917
Without a side to kick,
they just start kicking.
161
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,420
They were...
They were about my height,
162
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:29,788
around 14 years old...
163
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,156
their... their shirts
were yellow!
164
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,058
Yeah, make sure
you get that down.
165
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,793
Any mutations,
augmentations?
166
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,862
...Three eyes? A tail?
Maybe a buzz cut?
167
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,530
No.
Just four normal Mortys.
168
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,432
Normal?
Put it in your blog.
169
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,967
Let me turn over
a few rocks.
170
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:44,970
Aw, geez.
Hey, what's goin' on, fellas?
171
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,371
Aw, geez, man.
Nothing, man.
172
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:47,739
We're just hanging out
and stuff.
173
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:48,974
I hear that. Aw, geez.
174
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,409
I guess I'm supposed to be
figurin' out
175
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,777
who robbed the store
across the street.
176
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,512
But, aw, geez,
I don't know.
177
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,780
Aw, geez man, that sucks
178
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,047
that your Rick's
making you do that.
179
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,383
He's not my Rick.
He's my partner.
180
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,851
Aw, geez.
181
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:02,254
Well, maybe the uniform
makes a big difference,
182
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,522
who am I to say.
183
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,924
To me, you just look
like a sidekick.
184
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,459
Whoa! Call me a
sidekick one more time!
185
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:08,593
Call me a sidekick!
186
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,694
Hey, man! Come on!
Aw, geez!
187
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:10,962
Wanna see
how I paint a wall?!
188
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,497
It was
the Morty Town Locos, man!
189
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,299
The... the Morty Town Locos!
190
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,767
Aah! Aah!
191
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,003
Do you realize how many codes
you just violated?
192
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:18,970
Aw, geez, Rick.
193
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,705
What do I know about
knowin' stuff?
194
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,541
Get in the [Bleep] car.
195
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,442
More lasers.
196
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,676
You could take more time
197
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,144
to answer the question
if you like.
198
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,248
Okay, Juggling Rick,
199
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,884
how would you solve
the Citadel's financial crisis?
200
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,219
First off,
can I just say
201
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,121
that I believe this Citadel
is the greatest
202
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,255
in the entire multi-verse.
203
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,357
Now, I believe
the answer to your question
204
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:40,826
has three parts.
205
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:44,796
First, education spending
must get much higher...
206
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,765
But it has to be balanced
with defense...
207
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,767
Whoa! Whoa! Can we fact
check this please?
208
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,502
Never mind.
Who am I kidding.
209
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,536
This race is over.
210
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,372
And that's how you run
a Citadel!
211
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:56,942
Candidate Morty,
212
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,376
the number of displaced Mortys
is soaring
213
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:00,545
while Rick satisfaction levels
are plummeting,
214
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,280
and the divide
between the two groups
215
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,381
has never been wider.
216
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,916
Solve that one real quick.
217
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,588
I don't see a divide
between Ricks and Mortys...
218
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,655
Shocker.
219
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:13,492
I'd like to offer
a re-buttal.
220
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:15,827
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
221
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,162
I think we can all agree
on one thing...
222
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,431
Well, it came out
as two things
223
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:20,599
but you get the idea.
224
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,167
You guys finished?
225
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,503
The division I see
226
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,704
is between
the Ricks and Mortys
227
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,572
that like
the Citadel divided...
228
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:28,974
and the rest of us.
229
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,676
I see it everywhere I go.
230
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,178
I see it in our schools
231
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,013
where they teach Mortys
we're all the same,
232
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,249
because they're threatened by
what makes us unique.
233
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,517
I see it in our streets
234
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:39,885
where they give guns
to Mortys,
235
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,520
so we're too busy
fighting each other
236
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,588
to fight real injustice.
237
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,156
I see it in our factories
238
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,526
where Ricks work for a fraction
of their boss' salary
239
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,562
even though they're identical
and have the same IQ.
240
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,366
The Citadel's problem
isn't homeless Mortys
241
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:55,367
or outraged Ricks.
242
00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,906
The Citadel's problem
is the Ricks and Mortys
243
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:02,674
feeding on
the Citadel's death...
244
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,742
Holy [Bleep]
245
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,778
Rick Security Officer:
He's headed for the flavor core!
246
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,980
But I've got
a message for them,
247
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,917
from the Ricks and Mortys
keeping it alive,
248
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:15,020
a message
from the Ricks and Mortys
249
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:17,889
that believe in this Citadel
250
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,292
to the Ricks and Mortys
that don't.
251
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:23,461
You're outnumbered.
252
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:31,303
Holy [Bleep]
253
00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:32,571
I don't believe it.
254
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,905
I-I can't believe it.
255
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,274
I know.
That's why you're fired.
256
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,377
Sounds like
you're looking for work.
257
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:40,379
I can offer you
258
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,247
a very enticing
compensation package.
259
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,149
First,
let's talk benefits...
260
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,452
Daddy loves you.
That's Daddy's good girl.
261
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,653
Your life is a lie, man.
262
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:49,888
All your life's are lies!
263
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,289
Don't you get it?!
264
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,958
They told us we were special
because we were Ricks,
265
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,793
but they stripped us of
everything that made us unique!
266
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,127
We know how you feel.
267
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,829
We're working-stiff Ricks
just like you.
268
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,631
But our assembly line
is justice.
269
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:00,699
What are your demands?
270
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,967
I-I-I want a portal gun.
271
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,401
Unregistered, untraceable,
272
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:06,237
with enough fluid to take me off
this God damn prison!
273
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:09,074
The media's outside.
Well, keep 'em there.
274
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,910
Anyway, so yeah, the suspect
says the Citadel's a lie,
275
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,912
built on lies,
and some other shit.
276
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,814
I say appreciate
the life you have,
277
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,582
because it can always
be worse.
278
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:18,583
Back to you, Ricks.
279
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,752
Thank you, Rick 0716-C.
280
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,787
That [Bleep] guy.
Tell me about it.
281
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,888
Meanwhile,
in election news,
282
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,190
an unexpected turn of events
283
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,825
as Morty
from the Morty Party
284
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,293
soars to
the top of the polls.
285
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,495
Yes.
286
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:33,164
Morty, what's your original
reality and where's your Rick?
287
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,001
Gosh, we moved around so much
it's hard to remember.
288
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,902
I see every Rick
as my Rick,
289
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,472
I hope they see me as their Morty.
290
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,807
Another? Please?
With less water?
291
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,175
Hey, cheer up, pal.
292
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,977
A Morty's
gonna be president.
293
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,145
Imagine this kisser
294
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,747
getting blamed
for everything.
295
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,715
I guess I should've had
more faith.
296
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:53,652
It's not faith you need.
It's fear.
297
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,321
What's this?
298
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,355
It's secrets.
299
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,890
Wh... wh... wh...
What do you think it is?
300
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,358
Look at how I'm dressed.
301
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,260
Rick Reporter: Having taken aim
at the system,
302
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,095
are afraid at all
for your safety?
303
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,997
Candidate Morty: I'd rather
live in hope than fear.
304
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,399
If I had to fear anything,
305
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:08,667
I'd fear other people
being afraid.
306
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:09,834
Of fear. Itself.
307
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,870
But. No, I'm not afraid.
308
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,540
you gonna lick my balls
or what?
309
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,075
Sheeeet, grandson,
310
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,777
you keep me peelin' skrabquams
and slippin' nib nibs,
311
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,612
I'll lick whatever
ain't nailed down.
312
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,248
Hands in the air!
313
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,116
What the hell, man?!
What the hellin' hell?
314
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,851
You guys doing a little
chemistry homework
315
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,787
with Grandpa? Is this
what I think it is?
316
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,255
Bootleg portal fluid.
317
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,461
I guess his math was off.
318
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:37,929
Search the place.
319
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:45,336
Are... are you...
my new... R... Rick?
320
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:46,838
It's okay, Morty.
321
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,778
Jesus.
322
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,146
He stabbed me.
He got me bad, Morty.
323
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,115
Shh. It's okay.
You're okay.
324
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,817
You were right.
325
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,685
Everything I learned at the
academy was... Doesn't matter.
326
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,954
Nothing's wrong with putting
your faith in a Morty.
327
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,789
You just gotta pick
the right one.
328
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,524
Why is there a crib
in here?
329
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,626
Something they do.
To make you feel bad.
330
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,062
Boy, I got us knee-deep
in paperwork?
331
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,131
Go to the car
and grab a medi-pack.
332
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,833
Let me worry about this.
333
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,808
What happened?
Same old story...
334
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:26,211
Mortys killing Mortys.
335
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:32,183
Almost... got it...
336
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,518
Farmer Rick: Hey!
337
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,720
Y'all get the hell away
from my damn mega fruit!
338
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,289
Sic 'em, boy!
339
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,724
I don't wear
this dag-nab hat
340
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,092
and commit
to this rural character
341
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,294
so you can eat for free
while you come of age!
342
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,697
I bet the Wishing Portal
leads to a reality
343
00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:47,165
where they're...
Where all...
344
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,967
Where it's a bunch of
French toast with boobies.
345
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,735
I bet it leads to a place
with a bunch of fry...
346
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,303
Fly... flies everywhere.
347
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,105
Yeah, I bet it goes nowhere.
348
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,540
I bet it's a big hole
349
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,208
where the Citadel dumps
all its broken dreams.
350
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,344
Slick, why do you have to be
so dramatic?
351
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,179
You wanna know why?
Because of this.
352
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,414
I'm part of
an experimental line of Mortys
353
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,916
with a drama implant.
354
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,918
How do you think it feels,
Fat Morty,
355
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,787
to know that
no matter where I go,
356
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,121
I'll always be the one
357
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,090
that makes everybody sad
and a little bored.
358
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,392
Slick, that implant
isn't who you are, okay?
359
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,128
You also
roll up your sleeves.
360
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,430
I thought
I was Left-Handed Morty.
361
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,032
Then you should
use your left hand
362
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,433
to eat more vegetables.
363
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,836
Hey, there. How you doing?
Great to meet you.
364
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,037
I'm a plumber, sir.
365
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,205
I'm a Rick,
and I'm a plumber.
366
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,673
That doesn't sound like
Rick work.
367
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,308
You didn't come to the Citadel
to be a plumber, did you?
368
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,776
Ha! Ha!
I sure didn't, sir!
369
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,144
Mr. Morty! Mr. Morty!
370
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,113
I cloned myself so you could
kiss me as a baby!
371
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,681
This is just like
a Morty baby!
372
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,753
Hey, did you,
end up getting a new job?
373
00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:42,854
Yeah, I did.
374
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:43,855
Assassinating you.
375
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:46,925
I'm okay...
376
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,560
I'm okay...
377
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:50,361
I'm...
378
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,402
Aw, man. Aw, geez.
379
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:58,436
Aw, hah.
380
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,338
You look like you could use
a good time.
381
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,807
One dance for $10,
two for $25.
382
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,176
No, thank you...
And bad math.
383
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,245
Ha! Ha! Yeah!
This is a good time!
384
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,380
What is this place?
The Creepy Morty.
385
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,282
What is it your kind's
always saying...
386
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,817
"Don't think about it."
387
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,252
Come on.
388
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,553
There's someone important
I want you to meet.
389
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,322
Bubbala!
390
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,324
How'd it go with
the Morty Town Locos?
391
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:20,692
They had
a little accident.
392
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,994
They won't be causing
any trouble anymore.
393
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:26,564
Those were bad Mortys.
Very bad Mortys.
394
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,167
Big Morty
likes to contribute
395
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:31,102
to keeping the peace
in Morty Town.
396
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,737
Think of him
as a "drug lord"
397
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,439
and us as
cops on his payroll.
398
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,506
Morty...
399
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:36,741
- Which Morty?
- Which Morty?
400
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,009
M... m... my partner.
401
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,078
Morty, you're right.
Morty Town is bad.
402
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,980
But that doesn't mean
that we have to be.
403
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,381
Hey, what's going on here,
Morty?
404
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,749
- Which Morty?
- Which Morty?
405
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,217
The cop, morons!
406
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,386
Don't worry about Rick,
Big Morty.
407
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,387
He's new.
408
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,922
He doesn't understand
how it works.
409
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,224
That's what you said
about your last partner.
410
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,160
Why would you say something
like that, Big Morty?
411
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:59,197
You're [Bleep] things up for
both of us here. Wrong.
412
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,866
He's [Bleep] things up
for both of you.
413
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,335
Unless he takes
the money.
414
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,604
Big Morty,
you're under arrest.
415
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,073
S... smartest man
in the universe.
416
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,382
They're just props!
Th... they're just props!
417
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:21,119
Not so
big now, are ya?
418
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,820
I never was!
It was figurative!
419
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,123
That's enough. If we don't
kill him, he'll talk.
420
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,125
If you do, I'll talk.
421
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,760
Cowboy Morty:
O... one thing's for sure,
422
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,528
Y... y'all don't have to worry
about Cowboy Morty talkin'.
423
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,831
This little cowpoke's gonna
mosey up on out of here.
424
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,200
You told me to put my faith
in the right Morty.
425
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:37,902
I've got faith in you,
partner.
426
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,637
Do the right thing.
427
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,307
Grandpa Rick,
428
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,142
I-I don't wanna be
on the Citadel anymore.
429
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,510
I wanna be a regular kid.
430
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,912
I-I wanna to go to school
and throw balls around
431
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,480
and masturbate.
432
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,123
What the hell happened
in there?
433
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,692
Same old story.
434
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,593
Ricks killing Mortys.
435
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,363
Okay, man, okay,
we got your portal gun.
436
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,870
What the hell's
he doing?
437
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,206
Where... where am I?
A bad place.
438
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,041
But you're going
to a better one soon.
439
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,577
Hey! Hey!
440
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,478
No, no, no, no...
441
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,713
Whaa...
442
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:22,680
God damn it!
443
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,415
A portal to
the blender dimension?
444
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,817
That's the oldest trick
in the book!
445
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,852
I'm a Rick!
I'm more Rick than any of you!
446
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,355
Then you should know you just
killed your only leverage!
447
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,056
Then comes and get me,
mother[Bleep]
448
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,464
Stop.
I'm Rick D. Sanchez the Third,
449
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,332
owner of this here
wafer establishment,
450
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,534
and I say that the Rick in there
is right.
451
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,069
He's more Rick
than any of you.
452
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,204
He's a terrorist!
453
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,438
What Rick isn't?!
454
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,140
This Citadel
was founded by Ricks
455
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,441
for Ricks to be free!
456
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,876
What's your name,
young man?
457
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:54,379
Rick. And I'm... The
same age as me, I know.
458
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,514
How long have you worked here?
15 years.
459
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,182
What the hell
have we become?
460
00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,650
Whatever time
you were gonna make him serve,
461
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,818
he's served it.
462
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,120
It ends now.
463
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,888
Come with me, friend.
Where are we going?
464
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,256
To your new life.
465
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,992
Which starts with walking
the [Bleep] out of here.
466
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,293
Yo J-22, give 'em hell!
467
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,931
Sam Elliot: There's a Rick
that held a factory hostage
468
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,734
after murdering his boss
and several coworkers.
469
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:20,805
The factory made cookies,
flavored them with lies.
470
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,041
He made us all take a look
at what we were doing.
471
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,710
And in the bargain,
he got a taste of real freedom.
472
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,213
We captured that taste,
473
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,515
and we keep giving it to him
474
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,316
so he give it
right back to you,
475
00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:33,551
in every bite of new.
476
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,553
Simple Rick
Freedom Wafer Selects.
477
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,789
Come home to the unique flavor
478
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:40,091
of shattering
the grand illusion.
479
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,794
Come home to Simple Rick.
480
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:45,096
It is real.
481
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,099
After you.
482
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,507
Specs: There it is.
The Wishing Portal.
483
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,076
They say for your wish
to come true,
484
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:01,345
you have to give up something
really important.
485
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,548
For me,
that's my panini maker.
486
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,616
I wish for
a million sandwiches.
487
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,219
And, yes,
I see the irony.
488
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,687
I guess
I wish I had something cooler
489
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,522
than this dumb-ass
surfer necklace.
490
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,524
I wish incest porn had...
491
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,393
Had a more mainstream
appeal.
492
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:16,894
For...
For a friend of mine.
493
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,130
None of those things
are gonna happen, you know.
494
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:21,399
Morty wishes
never come true.
495
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,667
Not on the Citadel.
496
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,168
Then why did you
bring us here?
497
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,803
Because I wish
that would change.
498
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,272
I wish anything about this life
would change.
499
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,540
Well, I hope you're
putting something
500
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,709
pretty God damn important
in there.
501
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:32,944
Me too.
502
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:34,312
But I doubt it.
503
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:36,714
- No!
- Slick!
504
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,184
M... maybe...
505
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,786
maybe it went
somewhere nice.
506
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,354
Automated Rick:
Garbage dump.
507
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,556
Stand back.
508
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,496
He had to be stopped.
509
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,631
He... he cou... he c...
Couldn't be allowed to win.
510
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,600
Then you should've
worked on your aim, bro.
511
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:58,035
He's alive? No, no, no.
You gotta listen to me.
512
00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,070
I-I worked for him.
513
00:18:59,072 --> 00:19:00,371
I was his campaign manager.
514
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,473
That Morty
is not what he seems.
515
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,076
Yeah, well, no Morty
seems like a president.
516
00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:07,111
He... won? Yeah.
517
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,380
It was a blow out.
518
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:10,915
I would hardly call it
a blow out.
519
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,650
It was almost close enough
to trigger a recount.
520
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,386
Jesus. What are you
joke security now too?
521
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,188
Rick Cop:
Why am I still here?
522
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:18,689
I heard he confessed
to everything.
523
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,892
Your case has been reviewed.
You're free to go.
524
00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:24,061
But... I violated at least
a dozen departmental codes.
525
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,097
New department.
New codes.
526
00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:27,498
New Citadel.
527
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,300
Specs:
Did we miss graduation?
528
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,535
Where are the new Ricks?
529
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,403
No graduation.
No new Ricks.
530
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,472
The school's curriculum is changing.
To what?
531
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,240
I don't know,
and I don't have to know.
532
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:37,441
I've been fired.
533
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:38,843
Good luck, turds.
534
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,679
Holy crap.
Slick's wish came true.
535
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,383
Sorry I'm late,
Mr. President.
536
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,085
Had a little crisis at work.
Worth it!
537
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,187
It's no problem.
538
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,788
A little more
off the top.
539
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,224
You were saying,
Garment District Rick.
540
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,992
We were saying,
"President" Morty,
541
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,395
that we don't care
who sits in that seat.
542
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,397
A Rick, a Morty,
a god damn Jerry...
543
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,831
It doesn't matter.
544
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,500
We've been running the Citadel
since before the council
545
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,535
and you'll find that we're
still running it now.
546
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,070
Does he really speak
for everyone here?
547
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,405
Yeah.
548
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,839
Well, I think it's important
to be clear.
549
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,242
Raise your hand
if he speaks for you.
550
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:18,382
Is... that enough
off the top?
551
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,685
I don't know. Is it?
552
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,153
- Yes, yes, god damn, yes.
- I think it's great.
553
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:23,788
Good.
554
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,823
This seems like
a good time for a drink
555
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:29,460
and a cold calculated speech
with sinister overtones.
556
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:33,097
A speech about politics...
557
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,865
About order...
558
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,001
Brotherhood...
559
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,402
Power.
560
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,671
But speeches
are for campaigning.
561
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:43,741
Now is the time for action.
562
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:43,501
Whoo! Yeah!
563
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:45,636
Atlantis, baby!
That was amazing.
564
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,371
You got some of that
mermaid puss.
565
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,907
I'm really hoping it wasn't a one-off
thing and I can see her again.
566
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:50,975
By the way, hey, um,
567
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,610
you're still not
curious about what
568
00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:54,178
what might've happened
at that crazy Citadel place?
569
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,246
Psh. Not at all, Morty.
570
00:21:55,248 --> 00:21:56,480
That place will never have
571
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,316
any bearing over our lives
ever again.
572
00:21:58,318 --> 00:21:59,850
Unlike that mermaid puss!
Whoo!
573
00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:02,119
Yeah! We're going back for seconds!
Yeah! Yeah! Whoo!
574
00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:03,621
We're gonna do that shit
every week, man!
575
00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:05,756
That was Atlantis!
Shit!