1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,568 All right, Morty, you ready for our adventure 2 00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:03,969 to the Lost City of Atlantis? 3 00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,204 Ready as I'll ever be, Rick. 4 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,272 For [Bleep] sake. 5 00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,475 Hello, I'm Rick K-22. This is my Morty. 6 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,510 We're going from reality to reality 7 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,945 asking Ricks to contribute 8 00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,814 to the Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund. 9 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:17,049 What are you, stupid? 10 00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,517 We're done with the Citadel of Ricks. 11 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,185 I was never on board with it in the first place. 12 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,920 That's why I murdered everyone in charge 13 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:22,888 and left it to rot. 14 00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,790 That was you. 15 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,593 They tried to murder him first. Aw, geez. 16 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,128 Well, you'll be happy to know 17 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,462 that the council's gone now... 18 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,930 Yeah, he knows. He murdered them. 19 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:34,166 You want to rein in your Morty? Every day. 20 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,768 The Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund 21 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:38,170 donates... Morty, he's not gonna donate. 22 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,905 You're pitching the Policeman's Ball 23 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:41,340 to a black teenager here. 24 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,275 Let's go. You don't have to be a dick. 25 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,244 I think you know that's not true. Geez. 26 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,879 I didn't know there were still Ricks and Mortys 27 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,280 living on the Citadel. 28 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,448 I wonder what their day-to-day lives are like. 29 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:50,616 Well, you can keep wondering that 30 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:51,950 while we go on a fun, fresh, 31 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,552 self-contained adventure to Atlantis. 32 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,355 Anyone continuing to explore the Citadel is either stupid 33 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,090 or one of the unfortunate millions 34 00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,992 held hostage by their terrible ideas. 35 00:00:59,994 --> 00:01:02,194 Man, I'm glad I'm not one of them! 36 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,777 Announcer Rick: Citadel Morning News. 37 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,178 News about the Citadel in the morning, 38 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,513 pretty self explanatory. 39 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,615 Good morning. I'm Rick D-716B. 40 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,951 And I'm Rick D-716. Must be nice. 41 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,553 Coming up, gravity outages in East Sanchez Heights... 42 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,822 And, is your uranium-powered cellular matrix 43 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:04,823 making you sick? 44 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,592 The answer may not surprise you. 45 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,460 It's... Yes, it's uranium. 46 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,729 Those stories and more, after this break. 47 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:14,266 Sam Elliot: 60 iterations off the central finite curve, 48 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,235 there's a Rick that works more with wood 49 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,803 than polarity plating. 50 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:21,173 His name is Simple Rick but he's no dummy. 51 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,641 He realized long ago 52 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,810 that the greatest thing he'd ever create 53 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,044 was his daughter. 54 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,346 I love Daddy! 55 00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:28,847 Sam Elliot: We captured that moment... 56 00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,883 We run it on a loop through Simple Rick's mind... 57 00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,951 And the chemical it makes his brain secrete 58 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:36,388 goes into every Simple Rick's "Simple Wafers" Wafer Cookie. 59 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:38,323 Come home to the impossible flavor 60 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,958 of your own completion. 61 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,960 Come home to Simple Rick's. 62 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,128 Just one day remains 63 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,030 before our newly democratic Citadel 64 00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,398 elects its first President, 65 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,734 it's anyone's race among the Rick candidates. 66 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,202 But a certain other candidate 67 00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:51,503 should be getting at least one vote 68 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,105 for most adorable. 69 00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:54,540 That's right. 70 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,841 The Morty party candidate's still in the race, 71 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,776 and you just gotta love him for that. 72 00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,145 Here you see him in his little Morty suit waving... 73 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,847 Isn't that adorable? Little jackass. 74 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,448 Yeah, I think we actually have 75 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:04,783 the audio for his speech here... 76 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,385 Aw, geez. Aw, man. 77 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,953 I'm gonna lose the election and stuff. 78 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,423 We had a good run, sir, 79 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,392 but I think it's time to pull out of the race. 80 00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,527 I feel pretty confident about tonight's debate. 81 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,297 You shouldn't, sir. You should be terrified. 82 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,365 Maybe you should find a little faith, young man. 83 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,001 You don't pay me to have faith. 84 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,703 And we're the same age! 85 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,345 - Aah! - Whoa! 86 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,349 Sorry. I-I was expecting... 87 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,717 A Rick partner? 88 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,719 Lesson one, rookie, expect the unexpected. 89 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,721 Now, get in. 90 00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,657 Mortys are human! 91 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,060 Get the [Bleep] off the car, you Rickless [Bleep] animal! 92 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,329 Whoa! Morty Cop: The election's got these yellow shirts 93 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,364 more riled up than a picture-day Jessica. 94 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,665 That's pretty harsh, sir. 95 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,400 So report me. Nobody gives a [Bleep] 96 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,436 Look, I'm just saying, it makes me a little sad 97 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,171 to hear a Morty cop calling Mortys animals. 98 00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:00,939 Well, it makes me sad to hear another Rick cop 99 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,507 buying into his sensitivity training. 100 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,243 Well, I'm glad to know there's more like me. 101 00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:05,911 There was one. 102 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,779 Why do you think that seat was empty? 103 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,415 Rick Dispatch: Robbery at Fifth and Avenue. 104 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,750 Fifth and 105 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,418 That's Morty Town. Unit seven responding. 106 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,624 Rick Teacher: Good idea, Rick. 107 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,158 All Morty Students: Good idea, Rick. 108 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,760 This is a great adventure. 109 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,729 All: This is a great adventure. 110 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,864 I love being your new Morty. 111 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,934 All: I love being your new Mor... Farty. 112 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,836 Very amusing, Mr. Smith. 113 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,338 Almost as amusing as when your first Rick 114 00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,407 was decapitated on Zorpantheon Nine. 115 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,775 Or was that your third Rick? 116 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,343 How many Ricks have you had? 117 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,678 Five. I see. 118 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,547 So you are top of the class in something. 119 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,783 Tomorrow you'll be transferred to your new Ricks. 120 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,852 Hopefully they will be your last. 121 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,854 Yes, Slow Ri... Tall Morty? 122 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:51,657 Di... did I gradgitate this time yet? 123 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,558 Anything's possible, Tall Morty. 124 00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:59,898 I guess we won't be seeing each other after this? 125 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,967 I say we make our last day count. 126 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,503 I say... we go to the Wishing Portal. 127 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,138 That's a myth. It's not a myth. 128 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,439 My first Rick's fourth Morty 129 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,041 knew a Rick whose Morty went there. 130 00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:10,776 If we're not here for graduation, 131 00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,811 our butts are gonna wind up in Morty Town. 132 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,213 I thought your last Rick fused you with a lizard, 133 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,281 not a chicken. 134 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,849 Okay, fine. I'm in. 135 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,084 Me too. 136 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:22,788 What the hell?! I thought I saw a fly. 137 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,497 Supervisor Rick: 138 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,799 Listen up, [Bleep] nuts. 139 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,667 I've been your supervisor for five years, 140 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,736 but all shitty things must come to an end 141 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,938 and I have been promoted to regional manager. 142 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,540 All: 143 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,041 Yeah, I feel the same way, may be never meet again. 144 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,242 Of course, 145 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,811 that makes the position of supervisor available, 146 00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:48,447 so, as of next week, the ass you'll be kissing 147 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,848 will be that of... 148 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,517 K-83, affectionately known as Cool Rick. 149 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,885 All: 150 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,320 I know I'm new to the Citadel, 151 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,255 and some of you might not think I put in my time, 152 00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,590 but what can I say? 153 00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,758 I'm Cool Rick! 154 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,159 Yo! Ha! Ha! Check me out! 155 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,729 All right knuckleheads, any questions? 156 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,766 All right, then, back to work, you gold rickers. 157 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,510 No Ricks, no families, 158 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,580 high off their asses, and running amuck. 159 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,215 Mortys are raised to be sidekicks. 160 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:25,917 Without a side to kick, they just start kicking. 161 00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,420 They were... They were about my height, 162 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:29,788 around 14 years old... 163 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,156 their... their shirts were yellow! 164 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,058 Yeah, make sure you get that down. 165 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,793 Any mutations, augmentations? 166 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,862 ...Three eyes? A tail? Maybe a buzz cut? 167 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,530 No. Just four normal Mortys. 168 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,432 Normal? Put it in your blog. 169 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,967 Let me turn over a few rocks. 170 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:44,970 Aw, geez. Hey, what's goin' on, fellas? 171 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,371 Aw, geez, man. Nothing, man. 172 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:47,739 We're just hanging out and stuff. 173 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:48,974 I hear that. Aw, geez. 174 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,409 I guess I'm supposed to be figurin' out 175 00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,777 who robbed the store across the street. 176 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,512 But, aw, geez, I don't know. 177 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,780 Aw, geez man, that sucks 178 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,047 that your Rick's making you do that. 179 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,383 He's not my Rick. He's my partner. 180 00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,851 Aw, geez. 181 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:02,254 Well, maybe the uniform makes a big difference, 182 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,522 who am I to say. 183 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,924 To me, you just look like a sidekick. 184 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,459 Whoa! Call me a sidekick one more time! 185 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:08,593 Call me a sidekick! 186 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,694 Hey, man! Come on! Aw, geez! 187 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:10,962 Wanna see how I paint a wall?! 188 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,497 It was the Morty Town Locos, man! 189 00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,299 The... the Morty Town Locos! 190 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,767 Aah! Aah! 191 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,003 Do you realize how many codes you just violated? 192 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:18,970 Aw, geez, Rick. 193 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,705 What do I know about knowin' stuff? 194 00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,541 Get in the [Bleep] car. 195 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,442 More lasers. 196 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,676 You could take more time 197 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,144 to answer the question if you like. 198 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,248 Okay, Juggling Rick, 199 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,884 how would you solve the Citadel's financial crisis? 200 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,219 First off, can I just say 201 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,121 that I believe this Citadel is the greatest 202 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,255 in the entire multi-verse. 203 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,357 Now, I believe the answer to your question 204 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:40,826 has three parts. 205 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:44,796 First, education spending must get much higher... 206 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,765 But it has to be balanced with defense... 207 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,767 Whoa! Whoa! Can we fact check this please? 208 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,502 Never mind. Who am I kidding. 209 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,536 This race is over. 210 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,372 And that's how you run a Citadel! 211 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:56,942 Candidate Morty, 212 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,376 the number of displaced Mortys is soaring 213 00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:00,545 while Rick satisfaction levels are plummeting, 214 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,280 and the divide between the two groups 215 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,381 has never been wider. 216 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,916 Solve that one real quick. 217 00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,588 I don't see a divide between Ricks and Mortys... 218 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,655 Shocker. 219 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:13,492 I'd like to offer a re-buttal. 220 00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:15,827 Gentlemen, gentlemen, 221 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,162 I think we can all agree on one thing... 222 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,431 Well, it came out as two things 223 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:20,599 but you get the idea. 224 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,167 You guys finished? 225 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,503 The division I see 226 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,704 is between the Ricks and Mortys 227 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,572 that like the Citadel divided... 228 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:28,974 and the rest of us. 229 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,676 I see it everywhere I go. 230 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,178 I see it in our schools 231 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,013 where they teach Mortys we're all the same, 232 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,249 because they're threatened by what makes us unique. 233 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,517 I see it in our streets 234 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:39,885 where they give guns to Mortys, 235 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,520 so we're too busy fighting each other 236 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,588 to fight real injustice. 237 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,156 I see it in our factories 238 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,526 where Ricks work for a fraction of their boss' salary 239 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,562 even though they're identical and have the same IQ. 240 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,366 The Citadel's problem isn't homeless Mortys 241 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:55,367 or outraged Ricks. 242 00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,906 The Citadel's problem is the Ricks and Mortys 243 00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:02,674 feeding on the Citadel's death... 244 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,742 Holy [Bleep] 245 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,778 Rick Security Officer: He's headed for the flavor core! 246 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,980 But I've got a message for them, 247 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,917 from the Ricks and Mortys keeping it alive, 248 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:15,020 a message from the Ricks and Mortys 249 00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:17,889 that believe in this Citadel 250 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,292 to the Ricks and Mortys that don't. 251 00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:23,461 You're outnumbered. 252 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:31,303 Holy [Bleep] 253 00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:32,571 I don't believe it. 254 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,905 I-I can't believe it. 255 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,274 I know. That's why you're fired. 256 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,377 Sounds like you're looking for work. 257 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:40,379 I can offer you 258 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,247 a very enticing compensation package. 259 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,149 First, let's talk benefits... 260 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,452 Daddy loves you. That's Daddy's good girl. 261 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,653 Your life is a lie, man. 262 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:49,888 All your life's are lies! 263 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,289 Don't you get it?! 264 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,958 They told us we were special because we were Ricks, 265 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,793 but they stripped us of everything that made us unique! 266 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,127 We know how you feel. 267 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,829 We're working-stiff Ricks just like you. 268 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,631 But our assembly line is justice. 269 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:00,699 What are your demands? 270 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,967 I-I-I want a portal gun. 271 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,401 Unregistered, untraceable, 272 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:06,237 with enough fluid to take me off this God damn prison! 273 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:09,074 The media's outside. Well, keep 'em there. 274 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,910 Anyway, so yeah, the suspect says the Citadel's a lie, 275 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,912 built on lies, and some other shit. 276 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,814 I say appreciate the life you have, 277 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,582 because it can always be worse. 278 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:18,583 Back to you, Ricks. 279 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,752 Thank you, Rick 0716-C. 280 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,787 That [Bleep] guy. Tell me about it. 281 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,888 Meanwhile, in election news, 282 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,190 an unexpected turn of events 283 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,825 as Morty from the Morty Party 284 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,293 soars to the top of the polls. 285 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,495 Yes. 286 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:33,164 Morty, what's your original reality and where's your Rick? 287 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,001 Gosh, we moved around so much it's hard to remember. 288 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,902 I see every Rick as my Rick, 289 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,472 I hope they see me as their Morty. 290 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,807 Another? Please? With less water? 291 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,175 Hey, cheer up, pal. 292 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,977 A Morty's gonna be president. 293 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,145 Imagine this kisser 294 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,747 getting blamed for everything. 295 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,715 I guess I should've had more faith. 296 00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:53,652 It's not faith you need. It's fear. 297 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,321 What's this? 298 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,355 It's secrets. 299 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,890 Wh... wh... wh... What do you think it is? 300 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,358 Look at how I'm dressed. 301 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,260 Rick Reporter: Having taken aim at the system, 302 00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,095 are afraid at all for your safety? 303 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,997 Candidate Morty: I'd rather live in hope than fear. 304 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,399 If I had to fear anything, 305 00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:08,667 I'd fear other people being afraid. 306 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:09,834 Of fear. Itself. 307 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,870 But. No, I'm not afraid. 308 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,540 you gonna lick my balls or what? 309 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,075 Sheeeet, grandson, 310 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,777 you keep me peelin' skrabquams and slippin' nib nibs, 311 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,612 I'll lick whatever ain't nailed down. 312 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,248 Hands in the air! 313 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,116 What the hell, man?! What the hellin' hell? 314 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,851 You guys doing a little chemistry homework 315 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,787 with Grandpa? Is this what I think it is? 316 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,255 Bootleg portal fluid. 317 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,461 I guess his math was off. 318 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:37,929 Search the place. 319 00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:45,336 Are... are you... my new... R... Rick? 320 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:46,838 It's okay, Morty. 321 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,778 Jesus. 322 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,146 He stabbed me. He got me bad, Morty. 323 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,115 Shh. It's okay. You're okay. 324 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,817 You were right. 325 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,685 Everything I learned at the academy was... Doesn't matter. 326 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,954 Nothing's wrong with putting your faith in a Morty. 327 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,789 You just gotta pick the right one. 328 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,524 Why is there a crib in here? 329 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,626 Something they do. To make you feel bad. 330 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,062 Boy, I got us knee-deep in paperwork? 331 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,131 Go to the car and grab a medi-pack. 332 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,833 Let me worry about this. 333 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,808 What happened? Same old story... 334 00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:26,211 Mortys killing Mortys. 335 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:32,183 Almost... got it... 336 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,518 Farmer Rick: Hey! 337 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,720 Y'all get the hell away from my damn mega fruit! 338 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,289 Sic 'em, boy! 339 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,724 I don't wear this dag-nab hat 340 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,092 and commit to this rural character 341 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,294 so you can eat for free while you come of age! 342 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,697 I bet the Wishing Portal leads to a reality 343 00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:47,165 where they're... Where all... 344 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,967 Where it's a bunch of French toast with boobies. 345 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,735 I bet it leads to a place with a bunch of fry... 346 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,303 Fly... flies everywhere. 347 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,105 Yeah, I bet it goes nowhere. 348 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,540 I bet it's a big hole 349 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,208 where the Citadel dumps all its broken dreams. 350 00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,344 Slick, why do you have to be so dramatic? 351 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,179 You wanna know why? Because of this. 352 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,414 I'm part of an experimental line of Mortys 353 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,916 with a drama implant. 354 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,918 How do you think it feels, Fat Morty, 355 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,787 to know that no matter where I go, 356 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,121 I'll always be the one 357 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,090 that makes everybody sad and a little bored. 358 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,392 Slick, that implant isn't who you are, okay? 359 00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,128 You also roll up your sleeves. 360 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,430 I thought I was Left-Handed Morty. 361 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,032 Then you should use your left hand 362 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,433 to eat more vegetables. 363 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,836 Hey, there. How you doing? Great to meet you. 364 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,037 I'm a plumber, sir. 365 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,205 I'm a Rick, and I'm a plumber. 366 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,673 That doesn't sound like Rick work. 367 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,308 You didn't come to the Citadel to be a plumber, did you? 368 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,776 Ha! Ha! I sure didn't, sir! 369 00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,144 Mr. Morty! Mr. Morty! 370 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,113 I cloned myself so you could kiss me as a baby! 371 00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,681 This is just like a Morty baby! 372 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,753 Hey, did you, end up getting a new job? 373 00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:42,854 Yeah, I did. 374 00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:43,855 Assassinating you. 375 00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:46,925 I'm okay... 376 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,560 I'm okay... 377 00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:50,361 I'm... 378 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,402 Aw, man. Aw, geez. 379 00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:58,436 Aw, hah. 380 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,338 You look like you could use a good time. 381 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,807 One dance for $10, two for $25. 382 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,176 No, thank you... And bad math. 383 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,245 Ha! Ha! Yeah! This is a good time! 384 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,380 What is this place? The Creepy Morty. 385 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,282 What is it your kind's always saying... 386 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,817 "Don't think about it." 387 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,252 Come on. 388 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,553 There's someone important I want you to meet. 389 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,322 Bubbala! 390 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,324 How'd it go with the Morty Town Locos? 391 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:20,692 They had a little accident. 392 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,994 They won't be causing any trouble anymore. 393 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:26,564 Those were bad Mortys. Very bad Mortys. 394 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,167 Big Morty likes to contribute 395 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:31,102 to keeping the peace in Morty Town. 396 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,737 Think of him as a "drug lord" 397 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,439 and us as cops on his payroll. 398 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,506 Morty... 399 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:36,741 - Which Morty? - Which Morty? 400 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,009 M... m... my partner. 401 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,078 Morty, you're right. Morty Town is bad. 402 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,980 But that doesn't mean that we have to be. 403 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,381 Hey, what's going on here, Morty? 404 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,749 - Which Morty? - Which Morty? 405 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,217 The cop, morons! 406 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,386 Don't worry about Rick, Big Morty. 407 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,387 He's new. 408 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,922 He doesn't understand how it works. 409 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,224 That's what you said about your last partner. 410 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,160 Why would you say something like that, Big Morty? 411 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:59,197 You're [Bleep] things up for both of us here. Wrong. 412 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,866 He's [Bleep] things up for both of you. 413 00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,335 Unless he takes the money. 414 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,604 Big Morty, you're under arrest. 415 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,073 S... smartest man in the universe. 416 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,382 They're just props! Th... they're just props! 417 00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:21,119 Not so big now, are ya? 418 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,820 I never was! It was figurative! 419 00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,123 That's enough. If we don't kill him, he'll talk. 420 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,125 If you do, I'll talk. 421 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,760 Cowboy Morty: O... one thing's for sure, 422 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,528 Y... y'all don't have to worry about Cowboy Morty talkin'. 423 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,831 This little cowpoke's gonna mosey up on out of here. 424 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,200 You told me to put my faith in the right Morty. 425 00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:37,902 I've got faith in you, partner. 426 00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,637 Do the right thing. 427 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,307 Grandpa Rick, 428 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,142 I-I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore. 429 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,510 I wanna be a regular kid. 430 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,912 I-I wanna to go to school and throw balls around 431 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,480 and masturbate. 432 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,123 What the hell happened in there? 433 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,692 Same old story. 434 00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,593 Ricks killing Mortys. 435 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,363 Okay, man, okay, we got your portal gun. 436 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,870 What the hell's he doing? 437 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,206 Where... where am I? A bad place. 438 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,041 But you're going to a better one soon. 439 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,577 Hey! Hey! 440 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,478 No, no, no, no... 441 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,713 Whaa... 442 00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:22,680 God damn it! 443 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,415 A portal to the blender dimension? 444 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,817 That's the oldest trick in the book! 445 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,852 I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you! 446 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,355 Then you should know you just killed your only leverage! 447 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,056 Then comes and get me, mother[Bleep] 448 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,464 Stop. I'm Rick D. Sanchez the Third, 449 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,332 owner of this here wafer establishment, 450 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,534 and I say that the Rick in there is right. 451 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,069 He's more Rick than any of you. 452 00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,204 He's a terrorist! 453 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,438 What Rick isn't?! 454 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,140 This Citadel was founded by Ricks 455 00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,441 for Ricks to be free! 456 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,876 What's your name, young man? 457 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:54,379 Rick. And I'm... The same age as me, I know. 458 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,514 How long have you worked here? 15 years. 459 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,182 What the hell have we become? 460 00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,650 Whatever time you were gonna make him serve, 461 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,818 he's served it. 462 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,120 It ends now. 463 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,888 Come with me, friend. Where are we going? 464 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,256 To your new life. 465 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,992 Which starts with walking the [Bleep] out of here. 466 00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,293 Yo J-22, give 'em hell! 467 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,931 Sam Elliot: There's a Rick that held a factory hostage 468 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,734 after murdering his boss and several coworkers. 469 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:20,805 The factory made cookies, flavored them with lies. 470 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,041 He made us all take a look at what we were doing. 471 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,710 And in the bargain, he got a taste of real freedom. 472 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,213 We captured that taste, 473 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,515 and we keep giving it to him 474 00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,316 so he give it right back to you, 475 00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:33,551 in every bite of new. 476 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,553 Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Selects. 477 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,789 Come home to the unique flavor 478 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:40,091 of shattering the grand illusion. 479 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,794 Come home to Simple Rick. 480 00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:45,096 It is real. 481 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,099 After you. 482 00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,507 Specs: There it is. The Wishing Portal. 483 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,076 They say for your wish to come true, 484 00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:01,345 you have to give up something really important. 485 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,548 For me, that's my panini maker. 486 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,616 I wish for a million sandwiches. 487 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,219 And, yes, I see the irony. 488 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,687 I guess I wish I had something cooler 489 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,522 than this dumb-ass surfer necklace. 490 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,524 I wish incest porn had... 491 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,393 Had a more mainstream appeal. 492 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:16,894 For... For a friend of mine. 493 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,130 None of those things are gonna happen, you know. 494 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:21,399 Morty wishes never come true. 495 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,667 Not on the Citadel. 496 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,168 Then why did you bring us here? 497 00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,803 Because I wish that would change. 498 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,272 I wish anything about this life would change. 499 00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,540 Well, I hope you're putting something 500 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,709 pretty God damn important in there. 501 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:32,944 Me too. 502 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:34,312 But I doubt it. 503 00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:36,714 - No! - Slick! 504 00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,184 M... maybe... 505 00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,786 maybe it went somewhere nice. 506 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,354 Automated Rick: Garbage dump. 507 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,556 Stand back. 508 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,496 He had to be stopped. 509 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,631 He... he cou... he c... Couldn't be allowed to win. 510 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,600 Then you should've worked on your aim, bro. 511 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:58,035 He's alive? No, no, no. You gotta listen to me. 512 00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,070 I-I worked for him. 513 00:18:59,072 --> 00:19:00,371 I was his campaign manager. 514 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,473 That Morty is not what he seems. 515 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,076 Yeah, well, no Morty seems like a president. 516 00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:07,111 He... won? Yeah. 517 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,380 It was a blow out. 518 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:10,915 I would hardly call it a blow out. 519 00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,650 It was almost close enough to trigger a recount. 520 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,386 Jesus. What are you joke security now too? 521 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,188 Rick Cop: Why am I still here? 522 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:18,689 I heard he confessed to everything. 523 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,892 Your case has been reviewed. You're free to go. 524 00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:24,061 But... I violated at least a dozen departmental codes. 525 00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,097 New department. New codes. 526 00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:27,498 New Citadel. 527 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,300 Specs: Did we miss graduation? 528 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,535 Where are the new Ricks? 529 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,403 No graduation. No new Ricks. 530 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,472 The school's curriculum is changing. To what? 531 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,240 I don't know, and I don't have to know. 532 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:37,441 I've been fired. 533 00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:38,843 Good luck, turds. 534 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,679 Holy crap. Slick's wish came true. 535 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,383 Sorry I'm late, Mr. President. 536 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,085 Had a little crisis at work. Worth it! 537 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,187 It's no problem. 538 00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,788 A little more off the top. 539 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,224 You were saying, Garment District Rick. 540 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,992 We were saying, "President" Morty, 541 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,395 that we don't care who sits in that seat. 542 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,397 A Rick, a Morty, a god damn Jerry... 543 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,831 It doesn't matter. 544 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,500 We've been running the Citadel since before the council 545 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,535 and you'll find that we're still running it now. 546 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,070 Does he really speak for everyone here? 547 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,405 Yeah. 548 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,839 Well, I think it's important to be clear. 549 00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,242 Raise your hand if he speaks for you. 550 00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:18,382 Is... that enough off the top? 551 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,685 I don't know. Is it? 552 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,153 - Yes, yes, god damn, yes. - I think it's great. 553 00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:23,788 Good. 554 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,823 This seems like a good time for a drink 555 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:29,460 and a cold calculated speech with sinister overtones. 556 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:33,097 A speech about politics... 557 00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,865 About order... 558 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,001 Brotherhood... 559 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,402 Power. 560 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,671 But speeches are for campaigning. 561 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:43,741 Now is the time for action. 562 00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:43,501 Whoo! Yeah! 563 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:45,636 Atlantis, baby! That was amazing. 564 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,371 You got some of that mermaid puss. 565 00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,907 I'm really hoping it wasn't a one-off thing and I can see her again. 566 00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:50,975 By the way, hey, um, 567 00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,610 you're still not curious about what 568 00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:54,178 what might've happened at that crazy Citadel place? 569 00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,246 Psh. Not at all, Morty. 570 00:21:55,248 --> 00:21:56,480 That place will never have 571 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,316 any bearing over our lives ever again. 572 00:21:58,318 --> 00:21:59,850 Unlike that mermaid puss! Whoo! 573 00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:02,119 Yeah! We're going back for seconds! Yeah! Yeah! Whoo! 574 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:03,621 We're gonna do that shit every week, man! 575 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:05,756 That was Atlantis! Shit!