1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,240
What's new at school?
- Nothing.
2
00:00:03,260 --> 00:00:06,480
Nothing! Oh, uh, one
of the lunch ladies died.
3
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,530
They found her in the gym with,
like, two holes in her neck
4
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:09,900
and all the blood drained
out of her.
5
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,920
Good lord! Who does
something like that?
6
00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,480
Obviously a vampire.
W-w-where's the pepper?
7
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:16,300
Wait, what?!
Vampires are real?!
8
00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:19,120
Yes, Summer, vampires
are real. Who knew?
9
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:21,660
Oh, right, all humanity,
for hundreds of years, now.
10
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:23,360
Yeah, Summer,
it's a big universe.
11
00:00:23,380 --> 00:00:25,300
Get used to it.
R-right, Rick?
12
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:26,600
Well, what are we going to do?!
13
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:28,560
We're gonna live our lives
until we die.
14
00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:30,980
Possibly by vampire.
More likely auto accident
15
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,240
or heart disease,
but possibly vampire.
16
00:00:33,340 --> 00:00:36,280
Grandpa Rick, couldn't you,
like, use your superknowledge
17
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:38,940
to turn yourself into a teenager
and come to our school
18
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,620
and help us hunt
the vampire down?
19
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,180
Um... wow.
20
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,780
Yeah, pretty specific
pitch, Summer.
21
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,280
I probably could
turn myself into a teenager
22
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:51,060
and hang out in the
zit-covered, hormone-addled,
23
00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,220
low-stakes assworld
that is high school.
24
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:54,540
But here's my reverse-ask...
25
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,840
Why in the f***
would I ever do that, ever?
26
00:00:57,860 --> 00:01:00,320
And how dare you
even ask me that?
27
00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:02,280
And why aren't you more
ashamed of yourself?
28
00:01:02,580 --> 00:01:03,020
Dad!
29
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,400
Be ashamed of yourself, sweetie.
30
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,500
Jerry! Do you know what you
just said to our daughter?
31
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:08,200
Sor-ry! I wasn't
paying attention.
32
00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:10,620
To a conversation
about vampires?!
33
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,760
Clearly, I didn't know
it was about vampires,
34
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,380
because I wasn't
paying attention,
35
00:01:15,380 --> 00:01:17,160
which you would know,
if you ever
36
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,520
paid attention to me!
37
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,460
Oh, here we go,
right to the victim role.
38
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:21,600
Am I a victim, Beth,
39
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,200
or am I married
to a mean, unfair monster
40
00:01:24,220 --> 00:01:25,240
that always hurts me?!
41
00:01:25,260 --> 00:01:26,560
Jesus Christ!
42
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,820
Will you fix your marriage
or get a divorce already?
43
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,380
Well, we tried
a couples' therapist.
44
00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:34,400
That's earth therapy.
Well, we tried
a couples' therapist.
45
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,560
That's earth therapy.
46
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,860
You might as well ask a horse
to fix a merry-go-round.
47
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,500
I mean, he'll try his best,
but mostly,
48
00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:40,720
he's just gonna get horrified.
49
00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:43,660
I know about a place off-planet
with a 100% success rate.
50
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,920
Well, we want to make it
work, if we can.
51
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:47,860
It's just...
- then it's settled.
52
00:01:47,860 --> 00:01:48,760
No need to pack.
- Oh!
53
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:49,860
Let's go, go, go, go!
54
00:01:51,470 --> 00:01:53,840
Do you think mom and dad
are, you know,
55
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,120
gonna get a divorce?
56
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,080
I think it's okay
to dream, Morty.
57
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,940
I'm gonna go make
some wooden stakes.
58
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:32,720
Resynced and corrected
for W4F version by Navin_Ad
59
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:35,400
I booked you for a two-day
intensive at Nuptia Four,
60
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,180
the galaxy's most successful
couples' counseling institute.
61
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,740
They could save the marriage
of a dog
62
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,360
and a bar of dark chocolate.
63
00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:43,440
They could save the marriage
of a porn star and a porn star.
64
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,060
Well, I know I'm ready
to try whatever it takes.
65
00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:48,100
Which clearly implies
that I'm not.
66
00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:49,580
It's not a competition, Beth.
67
00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,120
Oh is that how you're
gonna try to win,
68
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,660
by implying I'm competitive?
69
00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:52,680
If the shoe fits.
by implying I'm competitive?
70
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:53,460
If the shoe fits.
71
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:55,380
My shoe fits up your ass.
You wish!
72
00:02:55,380 --> 00:02:57,270
Okay, have fun.
See ya Thursday!
73
00:02:58,770 --> 00:02:59,380
Jerk.
74
00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:00,900
Don't insult my father.
75
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,860
He's the reason our kids
are only half-stupid.
76
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,380
Ha! You just called
yourself...
77
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:05,380
Oh.
78
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:07,360
Beth and Jerry Smith?
Yes.
79
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,720
I'm Glaxo Slimslom.
80
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,620
Welcome to Nuptia Four.
81
00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:12,720
Your marriage can rest easy now.
82
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,500
Jerry, go ahead and sit
there and put this on.
83
00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:20,880
This machine isolates
the part of the subject's brain
84
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,760
containing all perceptions
of its romantic partner.
85
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,180
And we will now render
Jerry's perception of Beth
86
00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:30,080
with artificial biological life.
87
00:03:34,140 --> 00:03:34,800
Interesting.
88
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,040
What the hell is that?!
Take that back!
89
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,680
You do not think that about me!
90
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,040
I didn't do anything!
91
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,400
They scanned it out of my brain.
92
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,340
Can I take it back?
93
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,300
There's nothing to regret.
We're dealing with
94
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,880
unconscious, unhealthy thoughts.
95
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:46,800
Beth?
96
00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:50,640
Now, we scan for Beth's
perceptions of Jerry.
97
00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:52,140
Scan hard.
He's dead to me.
98
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:53,200
Everything's dead to you.
99
00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:54,080
- What?
- Nothing.
100
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,740
Read it and weep, bitch.
101
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,860
Does everybody see what I mean?
102
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:05,820
I think we all see
what you both mean.
103
00:04:08,310 --> 00:04:09,640
Any leads on the vampire?
104
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,180
No, Summer!
I mean, you know,
105
00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:13,360
I think it might be time
that we just l-let it go.
106
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,320
Oh, so, now, you're
too cool for this,
107
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:16,460
just because grandpa Rick is?
108
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,340
It's not that, it's just
that the universe
109
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,920
is a little too big to care
about something so small.
110
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:21,600
Aah!
111
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,020
What up, my Helsings?
112
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,420
Who wants to hunt
a vampire? Ha ha ha!
113
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:25,440
Rick?
How... how did you...
Who wants to hunt
a vampire? Ha ha ha!
114
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,100
Rick?
How... how did you...
115
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,240
Yeah, I got bored
and then, I remembered,
116
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,060
this morning, how I blew
Summer off, and I thought,
117
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,980
"hey, why are you such
a grumpy douche, Rick?
118
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:33,760
Go to the garage,
transfer your mind
119
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:33,780
into a younger clone of
yourself, and get embroiled
Go to the garage,
transfer your mind
120
00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:36,060
into a younger clone of
yourself, and get embroiled
121
00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:36,080
in some youthful hijinks,
what's the bfd?"
into a younger clone of
yourself, and get embroiled
122
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,080
in some youthful hijinks,
what's the bfd?"
123
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,760
So here I am.
I'm tiny Rick!
124
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:40,820
O-o-okay.
125
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,440
Well, it's good
you're here, Rick.
126
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:43,940
I was pretty sure we
didn't have what it takes
127
00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:45,520
to deal with
a bloodsucker on our own.
128
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,080
Don't short-sell
yourself, Summer.
129
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:49,260
You got everything it takes.
But it'll still be fun
130
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,720
to do this as a f***ing team,
motherf***er tiny Rick!
131
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,620
Yeah! Oh, my God,
Toby Matthews!
132
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,000
Hey, Toby. I'm tiny Rick.
I'm new.
133
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,460
Hey oh... go easy on me.
Ha ha. Just kiddin'.
134
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:01,960
I like your
straightforward style
135
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,520
and that lab coat's pretty cool.
136
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:04,800
Summer.
137
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:06,740
He knows my name!
138
00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:08,120
Why wouldn't he?
You're great!
139
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,660
But, listen, just be careful.
140
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:11,400
We can't rule anybody out
as the vampire,
141
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:11,420
not even the dreamboats.
We can't rule anybody out
as the vampire,
142
00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:13,220
not even the dreamboats.
143
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,600
Stop, tiny Rick.
144
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,960
Huntin' a vampire
with my grandkids!
145
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,700
[Bleep]! Tiny Rick!
146
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,720
The next step is
to watch your mythologues
147
00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:24,480
interact together
and, uh... big surprise...
148
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:25,820
It's never pretty.
149
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,440
Here we have Garrrh
and Zharbidar Gloompfschs,
150
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:31,520
or, should I say,
here we have the way
151
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,940
garrrh and zharbidar
perceive each other.
152
00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:38,020
As we can all see,
153
00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:39,920
this is hardly the real
Garrrh and Zharbidar.
154
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,780
Which is good,
because the relationship
155
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,720
in their heads is not only ugly,
156
00:05:44,140 --> 00:05:45,460
it's unsustainable.
157
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:52,180
You may already be
learning something important...
158
00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:54,860
All of these relationships
are different,
159
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,880
none of them are real,
and none of them work.
160
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,760
We are not the monsters
we sometimes see each other as,
161
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,080
because we are real
and we are functional.
162
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,260
That's what makes us
better than them.
163
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,540
We can find solutions.
164
00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:11,840
We can adapt.
165
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:14,040
We can communicate.
166
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,700
And, most importantly,
167
00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:21,860
we can work together.
168
00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:26,360
Well, it was a tough adventure,
but it paid off...
169
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,340
Our school is vampire-free!
170
00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:30,980
Man, who would've
suspected coach feratu?
171
00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:31,000
You did great, guys. Couldn't
have done it without ya.
Man, who would've
suspected coach feratu?
172
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,980
You did great, guys. Couldn't
have done it without ya.
173
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,960
You know, we... w-we
should be proud of ourselves.
174
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,960
We killed a vampire
and a gym teacher.
175
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,200
Ha ha ha. Talk
about two-for-one, right?!
176
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,560
So, how, exactly,
is your old body living
177
00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:42,480
in there, grandpa Rick?
178
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:44,480
Oh, you know,
hyperbaric quantum fluid,
179
00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:45,700
That kind of thing.
180
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,860
It preserves living tissue.
Not that there was much
181
00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:50,700
to preserve. Look at that
mummy! Ha! Ha ha!
182
00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:53,520
And I guess it's time for me to
get back inside the old-timer.
183
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,260
Oh, my God. Toby Matthews
is asking if my parents
184
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:59,140
are still out of town and
if we can have a party!
185
00:06:59,140 --> 00:06:59,200
All right, way to go, Summer!
What did I tell you?
are still out of town and
if we can have a party!
186
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,580
All right, way to go, Summer!
What did I tell you?
187
00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:04,420
Ohh! He's asking
if tiny Rick will be here.
188
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:05,900
Well, you know what, Summer?
189
00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:08,080
Tell him tiny Rick will be here!
190
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,640
And tell him to bring
some brews!
191
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:12,420
For real? Y-y-y-you
would stay as tiny Rick,
192
00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:12,440
just so we can have a party?
For real? Y-y-y-you
would stay as tiny Rick,
193
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,640
just so we can have a party?
194
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,580
Hell, yeah!
What's one more night?
195
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,440
And who can have fun with this
old bastard hanging around, huh?
196
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,440
Wubby lubby doob doob!
197
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,540
Whoo!
- Tiny Rick!
198
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,620
Moving on. Now,
we have Beth and Jerry Smith
199
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,480
from the planet e-arth.
200
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,600
My heart is pounding.
201
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,500
This is gonna be great.
202
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,460
The e-arth relationships
are simpler.
203
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,040
It's a primitive planet,
so their dysfunctions are oh...
204
00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:37,240
W-wait, what?
What's going on?
205
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,600
Where are the Smith mythologues?
206
00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:47,540
Oh, my God.
207
00:07:48,697 --> 00:07:49,696
Aah! Aah!
208
00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:51,300
Oh, my God.
Secure the cell!
209
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,200
Aaaah!
210
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,620
Uh, hey! You know what's fun?
Our gift shop.
211
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,800
Why don't we proceed
in an orderly--
212
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:02,560
Oh, dear God, no.
213
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,380
They're codependent!
214
00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:05,520
Run!
215
00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:08,780
Oh!
216
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:16,860
Oh, yeah, yeah,
you really know how
217
00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,870
to sport that color blue.
Really?
218
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,240
You're looking real good.
Oh, my God.
219
00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:23,220
Hey, Morty.
Oh, hey... hey, Jessica.
220
00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:26,950
So, is tiny Rick your
brother or cousin, or...?
221
00:08:26,954 --> 00:08:28,321
No, my grandpa just transferred
222
00:08:28,322 --> 00:08:30,055
his consciousness
into a clone of himself
223
00:08:30,057 --> 00:08:31,524
so he could be
in our high school.
224
00:08:31,526 --> 00:08:32,658
Cool.
225
00:08:32,661 --> 00:08:34,528
Hey, tiny Rick's playing guitar.
226
00:08:34,529 --> 00:08:35,629
All right, everybody.
227
00:08:35,630 --> 00:08:37,330
This next one's coming
straight from the heart.
228
00:08:37,331 --> 00:08:39,633
Making the lyrics up
right off the top of my head.
229
00:08:39,634 --> 00:08:41,134
♪ Let me out
230
00:08:41,135 --> 00:08:44,303
♪ what you see is not
the same person as me ♪
231
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:45,572
♪ My life's a lie
232
00:08:45,573 --> 00:08:47,173
♪ I'm not who
you're looking at ♪
233
00:08:47,174 --> 00:08:49,209
♪ Let me out, set me free
234
00:08:49,211 --> 00:08:51,211
♪ I'm really old;
This isn't me ♪
235
00:08:51,212 --> 00:08:56,649
♪ My real body's
slowly dyin' in a vat ♪
236
00:08:56,652 --> 00:08:58,384
♪ Is anybody listening'
237
00:08:58,386 --> 00:09:00,352
♪ can anyone understand?
238
00:09:00,355 --> 00:09:03,889
♪ Stop lookin' at me like that
and actually help me ♪
239
00:09:03,892 --> 00:09:05,024
♪ Help me!
240
00:09:05,027 --> 00:09:06,826
♪ Help me; I'm gonna die!
241
00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:08,562
Tiny Rick!
Thanks, everybody!
242
00:09:08,563 --> 00:09:09,995
This guy's amazing!
243
00:09:09,998 --> 00:09:10,996
I love tiny Rick!
Bad. Ass.
244
00:09:10,999 --> 00:09:14,067
- Yeah!
245
00:09:22,911 --> 00:09:25,711
Aah!
246
00:09:32,553 --> 00:09:34,019
Huh?
247
00:09:34,022 --> 00:09:35,621
What the f***?
248
00:09:35,624 --> 00:09:37,524
Yeah, I know! What kind
of operation are you running?
249
00:09:37,525 --> 00:09:40,460
Us?! What the hell kind of
relationship do you have?!
250
00:09:40,461 --> 00:09:41,927
Oh, right, blame this on us.
251
00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:44,931
Okay, uh, I can and I am!
252
00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:48,768
Your demonized mythologizations
of each other are cooperating.
253
00:09:48,769 --> 00:09:50,235
Isn't that good?
254
00:09:50,238 --> 00:09:52,304
No. No! It's bad!
255
00:09:52,307 --> 00:09:55,274
You have the single worst
marriage I've ever witnessed.
256
00:09:55,277 --> 00:09:57,110
It shouldn't exist!
257
00:09:57,111 --> 00:09:59,245
You should never, ever, ever,
have gotten together
258
00:09:59,246 --> 00:10:01,947
and I do not understand
how, or why,
259
00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:03,984
you would ever stay together.
260
00:10:03,985 --> 00:10:05,317
Aaah!
261
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,885
Well, this is just
bad couples' therapy.
262
00:10:06,888 --> 00:10:08,221
Totally.
263
00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:14,200
Wait for us!
264
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,680
There's only room for one more.
265
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,220
I'm a therapist.
I'll talk to them.
266
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,460
They're not therapists.
Go, go, go!
267
00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:22,340
There's gotta be a way
to contact my dad.
268
00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:23,840
Let's find a control
room or something.
269
00:10:29,940 --> 00:10:31,740
Beth!
You'll want to see this.
270
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:32,760
What is it?
271
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:34,240
It's a small, hinged panel
272
00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:36,320
with a tiny amount
of space behind it.
273
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:39,080
If you can find one, too,
274
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,340
we should be safe for hours,
maybe days!
275
00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:44,440
You stay put, Jerry.
276
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,320
I'll send help, if I make it.
277
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,480
You don't want to find
your own little hatch?
278
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,680
Jerry, I believe that,
if you hide by yourself,
279
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,700
you might survive
and I believe I,
280
00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:56,460
by myself, have a shot
of getting out of here,
281
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:58,060
but the two of us, together?
282
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,180
I don't know.
283
00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:01,720
Look, maybe the shrink
was right.
284
00:11:02,710 --> 00:11:03,460
Good luck.
285
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:09,180
All right, now,
you listen to me.
286
00:11:09,310 --> 00:11:10,460
Oh! Or don't.
287
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:11,960
Hey! Don't! Please!
288
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,360
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
289
00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:18,320
Now, I know I've said,
in the past,
290
00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:20,140
that math is important...
And it is!...
291
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:23,040
But I also think that,
one day, you'll all look back
292
00:11:23,060 --> 00:11:26,560
on being in high school
with tiny Rick and Morty,
293
00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:29,080
who I hear had a great
party last night.
294
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,460
So, class dismissed.
295
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,800
You've got the day off!
296
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,000
All right! Good work,
Mr. Goldenfold!
297
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,000
Yeah, get outside.
Read a book.
298
00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:38,560
Put on some sunscreen, Danielle!
299
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,500
Hey, what's up, Summer?
Ooh, nice top.
300
00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:42,560
Thanks. Tiny Rick,
you think you might be
301
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,120
getting back into
your old body tonight?
302
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,180
No can do. Tonight's
the big dance
303
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:48,660
and Morty's bringing Jessica.
He needs his tiny wing man.
304
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:49,800
Tiny Rick!
305
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:52,960
Okay, but if not tonight, when?
306
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,720
I don't know.
When I feel like it?
307
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,820
Damn, girl!
You need to chill out!
308
00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:58,920
This whole thing was your
idea, in the first place,
309
00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:00,720
and, now, you're trying
to rush it along.
310
00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:02,260
Yeah, and you know what?
I like high school.
311
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,000
I like hanging out.
Tiny Rick!
312
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,640
But what if the you
that likes it isn't you?
313
00:12:09,177 --> 00:12:10,076
Oh!
314
00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:10,840
Oh, Summer!
315
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,340
It's just Rick
in a younger body.
316
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,340
What's the... what's...
What's... what's...
317
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:15,320
What's the...
What's the problem?
318
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,620
Look at his art, Morty.
319
00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:17,900
I've got an emo streak.
320
00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:19,460
It's part of what
makes me so rad.
321
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:22,000
Why does it say "help me
Morty and Summer!"?
322
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,640
Come on, Summer, that's
the title of the art.
323
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,790
Why was "knight rider"
called "knight rider"?
324
00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:29,060
The car's name was kitt.
Nobody rode Michael knight.
325
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:31,520
You're overthinking it, Summer.
I'm tiny Rick!
326
00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:33,980
Grandpa, I think that,
when you put your mind
327
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:35,500
into this body's young brain,
328
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:36,640
it did what young brains do...
329
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,740
It shoved the bad
thoughts into the back
330
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,680
and put a wall around them.
331
00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:43,120
But those bad thoughts
are the real Rick.
332
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,100
The fact that you're old,
the fact that
333
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:45,120
we're all going to die,
one day, the fact that
The fact that you're old,
the fact that
334
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,880
we're all going to die,
one day, the fact that
335
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,800
the universe is so big,
nothing in it matters,
336
00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:50,740
those facts are who you are.
337
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,700
So you're trapped in there
and you can only
338
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,940
come out in the form of
tiny Rick's teen angst!
339
00:12:55,890 --> 00:12:57,780
Well, Summer, I hear
340
00:12:57,780 --> 00:12:57,800
Toby Matthews isn't
into psycho chicks.
Well, Summer, I hear
341
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,040
Toby Matthews isn't
into psycho chicks.
342
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,620
Can't think of anyone that is.
343
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,380
I'll see you motherf***ers
at the dance! Tiny Rick!
344
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:06,100
Morty, you have to help me!
345
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,520
Summer, he's happy!
I'm happy!
346
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:10,080
I-I-is that why
you're doing this,
347
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:11,600
you don't want me
and Rick to be happy?
348
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:11,620
No.
you don't want me
and Rick to be happy?
349
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:12,400
No.
350
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,940
Well, then get
your shit together!
351
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,540
Get it all together
and put it in a backpack.
352
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:18,940
All your shit, so it's together.
353
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,760
And if you gotta
take it somewhere,
354
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:22,940
take it somewhere, you know?
355
00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:24,300
Take it to the
shit store and sell it
356
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:24,320
o-or put it in a shit museum.
I don't care what you do!
Take it to the
shit store and sell it
357
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,960
o-or put it in a shit museum.
I don't care what you do!
358
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,420
You just gotta get it together.
359
00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:31,280
Get your shit together.
360
00:13:38,099 --> 00:13:39,599
Get back!
361
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,100
Wait, for real?
362
00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:44,580
You're how Beth sees me?
363
00:13:45,860 --> 00:13:46,800
Oh, my God.
364
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:48,060
Turn around!
365
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:49,400
I said turn around!
366
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,120
How can Beth have
these thoughts about me?!
367
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,420
That judgmental monster bitch!
368
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,000
I'm not taking this.
369
00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:57,620
I want to know where my wife is.
370
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,760
You are going to help me.
371
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,120
No!
Nobody's doing that!
372
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:07,140
Stay.
373
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,660
What do you want?
374
00:14:08,660 --> 00:14:08,680
Jerrys.
What do you want?
375
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:09,720
Jerrys.
376
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,720
You want Jerry?
377
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:11,740
I don't even want Jerry.
You want Jerry?
378
00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:13,220
I don't even want Jerry.
379
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,380
I want Jerrys.
380
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,180
Waahee!
381
00:14:17,180 --> 00:14:17,200
An army.
Waahee!
382
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,360
An army.
383
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:21,280
An army of Jerrys.
384
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:24,920
The value of his subservience
is wasted on you.
385
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:27,920
I will use it to dominate
the universe.
386
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:29,680
Ah ha ha. Boy,
Jerry must think
387
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:32,010
I'm pretty stupid, for you
to be this stupid.
388
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:34,260
Wouldn't it make more sense
to put my dumb-ass husband
389
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,520
in this chair, so you can make
390
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,200
an army of youbadass self?
391
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,020
There could never be
more than one of me.
392
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,900
I'm the strongest,
smartest being alive
393
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:43,920
because Jerry thinks
you're that much stronger
I'm the strongest,
smartest being alive
394
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:47,200
because Jerry thinks
you're that much stronger
395
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,240
and smarter than you are!
396
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,180
Okay, ouch.
397
00:14:55,509 --> 00:14:57,943
♪
398
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,040
Oh, hey h-hey-y!
399
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:00,060
Morty, Jessica, what's up?
Oh, hey h-hey-y!
400
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:01,240
Morty, Jessica, what's up?
401
00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:02,560
Check out the new dance
I made up.
402
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,340
It's called "ooh let me out!"
403
00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:06,750
♪ Let me out
404
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,560
♪ this is not a dance
405
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:10,000
♪ I'm beggin' for help
406
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:10,960
♪ I'm screamin' for help
407
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,600
♪ please come let me out
408
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,860
♪ let me out
409
00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:16,640
♪ this is not a dance
410
00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:18,000
♪ I'm beggin' for help
411
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:19,080
♪ I'm screamin' for help
412
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:20,760
♪ please come let me out
413
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:21,820
♪ I'm dyin' in a vat
414
00:15:21,860 --> 00:15:23,380
♪ in the gara-a-ge
415
00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:25,860
- Awesome!
416
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:27,720
Okay, that last part
was really weird.
417
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:27,740
Maybe Summer's
on to something here.
Okay, that last part
was really weird.
418
00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:29,200
Maybe Summer's
on to something here.
419
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,580
I don't know.
It was fun.
420
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:31,900
You want to slow dance?
421
00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:38,700
Tiny Rick, hey,
great dancing as usual.
422
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:38,720
Moment of your time?
Tiny Rick, hey,
great dancing as usual.
423
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,760
Moment of your time?
424
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,640
Tiny Rick, this conversation
425
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,280
is gonna break
my heart wide open.
426
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,780
You're a great student
and the fact that
427
00:15:45,780 --> 00:15:47,600
you're an 80-year-old man
in a clone body,
428
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:48,880
it never bothered me.
429
00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:51,020
But this here is another matter.
430
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:52,640
You recognize this?
431
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,400
We got a tip
it was in your locker.
432
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,080
Yeah, now, because the
gym coach was a vampire,
433
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,360
the school board is embarrassed
434
00:15:58,380 --> 00:15:59,600
and won't take it public,
however,
435
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,160
they can't have students
killin' teachers.
436
00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:03,040
I gotta expel you
for this one, TR.
437
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:04,780
I'm sorry.
438
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,600
I just got expelled, Summer!
439
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:11,280
Oh! So I guess there's
no need to stay young.
440
00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:12,660
My top!
441
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,800
Screw your top!
442
00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:15,400
You ratted on me?!
I'm tiny Rick!
443
00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,900
Fine! Yes!
Because I love you
444
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:19,420
and I'm trying
to save your life!
445
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,460
High school is my life!
446
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,940
Summer Smith is
a f***ing psycho nerd
447
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:25,820
and she just got me
kicked out of school!
448
00:16:31,580 --> 00:16:33,020
Boo!
449
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:34,660
Summer, I thought you were cool!
450
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:36,100
I'm sorry, okay?
451
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,620
How can you be such a bitch?
452
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:39,700
Oh, my God, Morty.
453
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,940
Your sister crossed tiny Rick?
454
00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:44,100
Talk about
self-destructive.
455
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,320
Yeah.
456
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,120
Hey, Jerry-lover!
457
00:16:49,540 --> 00:16:51,440
How about a taste
of the real thing?
458
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,360
Jerry!
459
00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:56,320
Ah. Ah. Ah.
460
00:16:56,330 --> 00:16:58,380
Ah ah ah ah ah aah aah.
461
00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:01,620
Not on my watch.
462
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:04,620
That's it!
463
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:07,700
Beth, it's me, your husband!
464
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,720
I'm here to save you.
465
00:17:09,740 --> 00:17:11,940
Or my name isn't Jerry Smith!
466
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,320
Aha!
- Yes!
467
00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:14,980
Jerry Smith!
468
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,440
Yeah, here.
- Aha!
469
00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:17,680
Okay, fair enough.
470
00:17:24,990 --> 00:17:26,840
Say goodnight, old man.
471
00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:30,000
What the hell are you doing?!
- Put it down!
472
00:17:30,690 --> 00:17:32,040
Summer, you bitch!
473
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,300
Don't talk to her that way!
She's your granddaughter!
474
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,500
I don't need a granddaughter!
I'm tiny Rick!
475
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,560
She's my sister!
And if tiny Rick
476
00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:40,580
is gonna be an asshole
to my sister, then,
477
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,680
you know, y-y-you
may as well be old again.
478
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,060
You think you're tough,
huh, Morty?
479
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:45,640
What are you gonna do?
I'm tiny Rick.
480
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,440
I'm the coolest kid
in your school.
481
00:17:47,540 --> 00:17:49,760
How are you gonna just make me
do whatever you say, huh?
482
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,160
I'm gonna do what real Rick
would do if he was here...
483
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,640
I'm gonna kick your ass!
484
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:54,920
Ohhhh!
485
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,740
Rick, I know you're in there!
486
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,140
I know you're trying to get out!
487
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,620
That's it, Morty!
Hold him down!
488
00:18:04,199 --> 00:18:06,398
♪ Drink up, baby
489
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,000
♪ stay up all night
490
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,460
listen to it, tiny Rick.
491
00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:11,320
Listen to Elliott Smith.
492
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:12,460
Ugh! No!
493
00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:14,180
Feel what he's feeling.
494
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,620
Ugh! Noooooooo! God!
495
00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:16,640
♪ That you'll never see
Ugh! Noooooooo! God!
496
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,320
♪ That you'll never see
497
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,240
Oh, God, what is life?
498
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,740
How can someone so talented
die so young?
499
00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:24,940
What is being young?
500
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,480
I'm not young.
I'm old.
501
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:27,840
I'm... I'm gonna die.
502
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:29,100
My body isn't real.
503
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,560
Morty! Summer!
504
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:31,940
It's me! It's Rick!
505
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,860
Regular Rick!
506
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:34,980
Rick! How do we get you
back into your body?
507
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,960
Okay, listen carefully.
There's a set of diodes
508
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,340
on the vat's control panel,
a blue one and a red one.
509
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:40,860
Oh, God, what kind
of world is this?
510
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,080
I didn't ask to be born.
I need you to connect
511
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,580
the blue one to my left temple
and the red one to...
512
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:46,720
Why doesn't anyone
really like me?
513
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:48,280
Focus, grandpa!
Just put the stupid
514
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,400
wires on my head!
I hate being a teenager!
515
00:18:58,818 --> 00:19:00,853
Ugh! Arrgghh!
516
00:19:04,090 --> 00:19:05,480
Ah! Uhhhhh!
517
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,920
Jerry, you can't bend metal.
518
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,420
Then make a me that can!
519
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,820
How can I do that
while I'm watching you
520
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:12,580
totally fail to bend metal?
521
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,260
Good old Beth!
522
00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:16,320
The mind of a robot
and the heart of an insect!
523
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,620
Don't talk that way about her.
524
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,300
What?
525
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:21,960
Oh, it hurts!
526
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:23,560
Oh, God.
527
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:27,640
Stop.
528
00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:31,220
This representation
displeases me.
529
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,520
Aaah!
530
00:19:38,490 --> 00:19:40,400
Good lord.
How did you...?
531
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:42,040
Well, I had a feeling
that, in your mind,
532
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,120
the ideal version of me
is one smart enough
533
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,200
to see you as...
534
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:46,960
A goddess.
535
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,780
Not such a stupid worm
now, are you?
536
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,480
Honey, when it comes
to the subject of your ego,
537
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,900
I'm Stephen f***ing Hawkinson.
538
00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:56,760
Ugh, it's...
Never mind.
539
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,500
I love you.
540
00:20:05,810 --> 00:20:06,540
Ugh agh.
541
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:07,200
- Rick!
- Pants!
542
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:07,840
Holy shit!
543
00:20:08,020 --> 00:20:10,380
Thanks, kids.
You figured it out.
544
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,880
Well, Summer did.
545
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,800
Kind of weird that
you were that willing
546
00:20:13,820 --> 00:20:15,940
to sell my existence out
for some trim, Morty.
547
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:15,960
- Pants!
- What?
to sell my existence out
for some trim, Morty.
548
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,120
- Pants!
- What?
549
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,060
But listen... I forgive you both
because you know what?
550
00:20:19,060 --> 00:20:20,700
I learned, today,
something important...
551
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:22,900
The teenage mind
is its own worst enemy.
552
00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:24,560
Oh, I also learned this...
553
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:29,640
Operation Phoenix is not the
fallback I thought it would be.
554
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,100
I guess it's back
to the drawing board.
555
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,160
Oh, my God!
556
00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:37,760
Oh, my God.
Put some pants on!
557
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,340
Grandpa's back, baby!
558
00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:40,400
Grandpa's--
559
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,820
Oh, man, I gotta pick up
your parents.
560
00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:44,660
They have been blowin' me up.
561
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:45,960
One last swing for the road!
562
00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:47,340
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
563
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:48,640
For the love of God,
get dressed!
564
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,520
So, what do you think?
You wanna...
565
00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:55,580
...keep this marriage
going a while longer?
566
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,980
At least until Morty has
graduated high school.
567
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:00,540
Oh. Mm.
568
00:21:02,580 --> 00:21:05,240
Aha, you see?
What did I tell you two?
569
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:06,020
It worked.
570
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,000
You know what, Rick?
I guess, in a way--
571
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,180
Already lost interest.
Get in the car.
572
00:21:10,260 --> 00:21:11,640
I've been inside a kid
all day and, now,
573
00:21:11,660 --> 00:21:13,360
I can feel my bones
scraping each other.
574
00:21:14,260 --> 00:21:15,860
Uh, just so you're prepared,
575
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:17,460
there's a bunch of dead mes
in the garage.
576
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:21,400
Huh! Sounds like our stories
were connected by a theme.
577
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:23,460
Not really, Jerry.
578
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,640
Probably a cosmetic connection
your mind mistakes for thematic.
579
00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:27,580
Oh.
580
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,080
Old Rick!
Ruinin' everything!
581
00:21:31,071 --> 00:21:32,672
♪
582
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:06,200
Master.
583
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,200
Speak.
584
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,060
Coach Feratu's presence
585
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,360
was discovered by the humans.
586
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:11,820
He has been destroyed.
587
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,060
No bother.
588
00:22:13,060 --> 00:22:14,420
The mortals shall soon...
589
00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:14,460
I'm sorry, what did you
say his name was?
The mortals shall soon...
590
00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:15,640
I'm sorry, what did you
say his name was?
591
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,600
- Coach Feratu.
- Coach Feratu?
592
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,120
That was his real name,
like his actual vampire name?
593
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,400
No no no no. His vampire
name was Balik Alistane.
594
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,600
Why the f***
would he name himself
595
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,920
after a famous vampire movie?
Was he doing a bit?
596
00:22:25,940 --> 00:22:27,380
I do not know, your unholiness.
597
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,640
Jesus f***ing Christ.
598
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:31,160
From now on, no more of
this clever-name bullshit.
599
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,140
When a vampire is pretending
to be a human,
600
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,100
they can just call themselves
601
00:22:34,140 --> 00:22:36,160
Alan Jefferson
or something like that.
602
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,440
It's crazy, right?
603
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,680
I mean, am I being an asshole?
604
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,540
Okay, I feel like
everybody in the room
605
00:22:40,540 --> 00:22:41,820
is looking at me like
I'm the buzzkill.
606
00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:42,560
I'm not?
607
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,040
Good. Okay. Great.
608
00:22:45,860 --> 00:22:47,560
Oh, my g--!
609
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:48,780
Did you get any of that?
610
00:22:49,140 --> 00:22:51,140
It's-a good-a show!
611
00:22:51,140 --> 00:22:53,140
Resynced and corrected by Navin_Ad