1 00:00:01,137 --> 00:00:03,104 Geez, I can't believe we found a version of Earth 2 00:00:03,139 --> 00:00:05,306 with a "Ball Fondlers" movie franchise. 3 00:00:05,341 --> 00:00:08,576 I can't believe the things this reality considers PG-13. 4 00:00:08,611 --> 00:00:11,312 - Yeah. I-I'm pretty jealous. - Don't be, Morty. 5 00:00:11,347 --> 00:00:14,215 There's pros and cons to [Burps] every alternate timeline 6 00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:15,483 fun facts about this one-- 7 00:00:15,518 --> 00:00:18,353 It's got giant, telepathic spiders, 11 9/11s, 8 00:00:18,387 --> 00:00:22,433 and the best ice cream in the multiverse! 9 00:00:22,468 --> 00:00:25,003 - Shut up! - We go get some ice cream, mother[bleep]! 10 00:00:25,037 --> 00:00:26,971 [Engine sputters] 11 00:00:27,006 --> 00:00:28,306 Oh, great. 12 00:00:28,374 --> 00:00:29,908 Oh, boy. W-what's wrong, Rick? 13 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,743 Is it the quantum carburetor or something? 14 00:00:31,777 --> 00:00:33,878 "Quantum carburetor"? Jesus, Morty. 15 00:00:33,913 --> 00:00:35,547 You can't just add a [burps]-- 16 00:00:35,581 --> 00:00:37,849 Sci-Fi word to a car word and hope it means something. 17 00:00:37,883 --> 00:00:40,323 Huh, looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery. 18 00:00:40,352 --> 00:00:43,588 - We're gonna have to go inside. - Um, go inside what? 19 00:00:43,622 --> 00:00:45,456 The battery, Morty. Be right back, Summer. 20 00:00:45,524 --> 00:00:46,891 Stay put, don't touch any buttons, 21 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:50,328 and ignore all random thoughts that feel... spidery. 22 00:00:50,362 --> 00:00:51,763 Wait! You can't leave me here! 23 00:00:51,797 --> 00:00:54,499 You'll be fine. Ship, keep Summer safe. 24 00:00:54,533 --> 00:00:56,501 FEMALE VOICE: [Warbles] Keep Summer safe. 25 00:00:56,535 --> 00:00:57,669 Ohh! 26 00:00:59,471 --> 00:01:01,039 Ugh. Wonderful. 27 00:01:05,477 --> 00:01:07,512 Hey, excuse me. Hello. 28 00:01:07,580 --> 00:01:09,581 Um... [Cellphone clicking] 29 00:01:09,615 --> 00:01:11,583 What, you think you're better than me?! 30 00:01:11,617 --> 00:01:13,651 Nobody's better than me! 31 00:01:13,686 --> 00:01:14,886 Hey! Hey! 32 00:01:19,124 --> 00:01:20,925 Aah! Aaaaah! 33 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,460 - FEMALE VOICE: Keep Summer safe. - Aaaaaaah! 34 00:01:22,528 --> 00:01:23,728 Hey, man, what the hell?! 35 00:01:23,796 --> 00:01:25,830 That was my daughter's pediatrician! Aah! 36 00:01:25,865 --> 00:01:27,632 No, stop! Don't kill him! 37 00:01:27,666 --> 00:01:28,967 [Beep] Confirmed. 38 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,468 [Grunts] Aah! 39 00:01:30,536 --> 00:01:31,636 [Groans] 40 00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:33,338 Oh, God. I can't feel my legs. 41 00:01:33,372 --> 00:01:34,606 Help! Help!! 42 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,342 - Summer is safe. - I don't feel safe. 43 00:01:37,376 --> 00:01:39,043 [Sobs] Confirmed. 44 00:01:39,111 --> 00:01:41,412 [Light jazz music plays] [Sobbing] No. 45 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:42,981 Oh, God, help me. Help me! 46 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,983 [Sobbing] Help me, please! You can help me! 47 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:48,052 ♪♪ 48 00:02:10,476 --> 00:02:16,476 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 49 00:02:18,384 --> 00:02:20,385 Oh, man. Where are we, Rick? 50 00:02:20,419 --> 00:02:21,819 Morty, remember eight seconds ago 51 00:02:21,854 --> 00:02:23,454 when [Burps] when you said, "Go inside what?" 52 00:02:23,489 --> 00:02:24,923 And I said, "The battery"? 53 00:02:24,957 --> 00:02:26,624 And then we showed up here, and I wasn't like, 54 00:02:26,692 --> 00:02:27,892 "Whoa, this is unexpected. 55 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,894 This is not what I was expecting, Morty. 56 00:02:29,962 --> 00:02:31,529 - What a perplexing mystery this is." - All right, all right. 57 00:02:31,597 --> 00:02:33,464 We're inside the battery. I get it. 58 00:02:33,499 --> 00:02:35,500 - You don't have to bust my balls. - Huh, this isn't right. 59 00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:36,868 This pipe's supposed to be sending 60 00:02:36,902 --> 00:02:39,671 20 terawatts of juice up to the engine, Morty. 61 00:02:39,705 --> 00:02:41,506 [Computer beeps] Instead we've got... zero? 62 00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:42,807 Now what are these people doing? 63 00:02:42,841 --> 00:02:45,143 W-w-w-whoa, people? [Groans] 64 00:02:45,177 --> 00:02:46,844 It's time for some hands-on engine repair. 65 00:02:46,912 --> 00:02:49,647 - All right, Morty, hold on to something. - Whoa! 66 00:02:52,017 --> 00:02:53,518 Holy crap! 67 00:02:53,552 --> 00:02:54,819 I thought we were inside your car battery, Rick. 68 00:02:54,853 --> 00:02:58,089 T-t-this is like a whole p-planet or something. 69 00:02:58,123 --> 00:03:00,024 Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty proud of this bad boy. 70 00:03:00,059 --> 00:03:01,426 Check it out. [Keypad beeps] 71 00:03:01,493 --> 00:03:05,430 I put a spatially tessellated void inside a modified temporal field 72 00:03:05,497 --> 00:03:07,865 until a planet developed intelligent life. 73 00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:10,902 I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity, 74 00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:12,837 which they now generate on a global scale. 75 00:03:12,871 --> 00:03:14,706 And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine 76 00:03:14,740 --> 00:03:15,974 and charge my phone and stuff. 77 00:03:16,009 --> 00:03:18,509 You have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you? 78 00:03:18,544 --> 00:03:19,811 That's slavery. 79 00:03:19,845 --> 00:03:21,980 It's society. They work for each other, Morty. 80 00:03:22,014 --> 00:03:23,915 They pay each other. They buy houses. 81 00:03:23,949 --> 00:03:25,650 They get married and make children 82 00:03:25,684 --> 00:03:27,085 that replace them when they get too old to make power. 83 00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:29,187 That just sounds like slavery with extra steps. 84 00:03:29,221 --> 00:03:32,156 Ooh-la-la, someone's gonna get laid in college. 85 00:03:32,191 --> 00:03:34,559 ANCHOR: It appears we are being revisited 86 00:03:34,593 --> 00:03:37,495 by the alien known as Rick, who once gave our world 87 00:03:37,529 --> 00:03:39,597 the gift of gooble box technology, 88 00:03:39,631 --> 00:03:42,133 which, when stomped on, generates electricity, 89 00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:43,801 powering our homes and businesses, 90 00:03:43,836 --> 00:03:45,503 improving our daily lives, while safely removing 91 00:03:45,537 --> 00:03:50,108 the dangerous waste power to a special disposal volcano. 92 00:03:50,175 --> 00:03:51,809 But why has Rick returned? 93 00:03:51,844 --> 00:03:54,445 And what will he say when he hears the big news? 94 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,080 Let's find out. 95 00:03:56,115 --> 00:03:58,483 You need to tell these people they're in a battery, Rick. 96 00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:00,985 It's messed up. There's caterers down there. 97 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,187 Th-th-they're setting up chafing dishes. 98 00:04:03,222 --> 00:04:04,279 Would you relax, Morty? 99 00:04:04,304 --> 00:04:06,624 There's nothing dishonest about what we're doing. 100 00:04:06,658 --> 00:04:08,192 Now slap on these antennae. 101 00:04:08,227 --> 00:04:10,094 - These people need to think we're aliens. - What? Why? 102 00:04:10,129 --> 00:04:14,032 Obviously [burps] you really [burps] know nothing about car repair. 103 00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:18,102 [Fanfare plays] 104 00:04:18,137 --> 00:04:20,138 Wait for the ramp, Morty. 105 00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,806 They love the slow ramp. 106 00:04:21,874 --> 00:04:24,709 Really gets their dicks hard when they see this ramp 107 00:04:24,777 --> 00:04:27,011 just slowly extending down. 108 00:04:27,046 --> 00:04:28,813 [Cheering] 109 00:04:28,847 --> 00:04:31,282 Greetings! [Creatures chanting, "Rick! Rick!"] 110 00:04:32,751 --> 00:04:34,218 Morty, you got to flip them off. 111 00:04:34,286 --> 00:04:36,220 I told them it means "Peace among worlds." 112 00:04:36,288 --> 00:04:37,588 How hilarious is that? 113 00:04:42,094 --> 00:04:43,995 [Creatures cheering wildly] 114 00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:45,229 RICK: Coming through. 115 00:04:45,264 --> 00:04:47,498 Two real aliens walking through here. 116 00:04:47,566 --> 00:04:49,500 Rick, our alien friend. 117 00:04:49,568 --> 00:04:51,669 Uh, Mr. President, um, couldn't help but notice 118 00:04:51,703 --> 00:04:53,838 that you were having problems generating power. 119 00:04:53,872 --> 00:04:56,207 That's correct. [Chuckles] We've evolved. 120 00:04:56,241 --> 00:04:59,677 Our most brilliant scientist, Zeep Xanflorp, 121 00:04:59,711 --> 00:05:01,512 has developed a source of energy 122 00:05:01,547 --> 00:05:03,281 that makes gooble boxes obsolete. 123 00:05:04,783 --> 00:05:06,017 [Straining] I would love to see it. 124 00:05:06,051 --> 00:05:08,786 [Bleep] you. What did you say to me?! 125 00:05:08,821 --> 00:05:09,921 "[Bleep] you." 126 00:05:09,988 --> 00:05:12,790 Y-you told me it means "much obliged". 127 00:05:12,825 --> 00:05:15,860 Oh. Right. Uh, b-blow me. 128 00:05:15,894 --> 00:05:17,595 No, no, no. Blow me. 129 00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:25,903 Zeep, you have an honored guest from beyond the stars. 130 00:05:25,938 --> 00:05:28,858 I said 12 quantum stabilizers, not 11. 131 00:05:28,882 --> 00:05:30,582 Fix it or it's your ass. 132 00:05:30,628 --> 00:05:32,161 Chris, I'm in the middle of something. 133 00:05:32,196 --> 00:05:35,531 Zeep, is Rick-- The alien. 134 00:05:35,566 --> 00:05:37,033 Rick the alien. 135 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,435 Rick the alien... 136 00:05:39,470 --> 00:05:41,037 Really? You're gonna pull that move? 137 00:05:41,071 --> 00:05:42,739 I guided your entire civilization. 138 00:05:42,773 --> 00:05:44,841 Your people have a holiday named Ricksgiving. 139 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:46,476 They teach kids about me in school. 140 00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:47,677 I dropped out of school. 141 00:05:47,711 --> 00:05:49,045 It's not a place for smart people. 142 00:05:49,079 --> 00:05:50,947 Ohhhh, snap! 143 00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:52,882 Listen to me, you arrogant little-- 144 00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:56,052 [Chuckling] R-Rick was hoping to see your new energy source. 145 00:05:56,086 --> 00:05:59,088 I think he could learn a lot from you, Zeep. 146 00:05:59,123 --> 00:06:00,590 Fine. 147 00:06:00,624 --> 00:06:02,692 It's hard for people to grasp, 148 00:06:02,726 --> 00:06:05,695 but inside that container is an infinite universe 149 00:06:05,729 --> 00:06:09,132 with a planet capable of generating massive amounts of power. 150 00:06:09,166 --> 00:06:11,501 I call it a miniverse. 151 00:06:11,535 --> 00:06:13,569 [Coughs] Dumb [coughs] name. 152 00:06:13,637 --> 00:06:14,971 - Excuse me? - [Clears throat] Nothing. 153 00:06:15,005 --> 00:06:17,140 I mean, it's hard for us to comprehend all this. 154 00:06:17,174 --> 00:06:19,876 Would it be possible for us to get some kind of tour 155 00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:21,744 of your miniverse from the inside? 156 00:06:21,779 --> 00:06:23,701 This isn't a [bleep] chocolate factory. 157 00:06:23,726 --> 00:06:24,614 I don't have time. 158 00:06:24,648 --> 00:06:27,150 Didn't you say time goes more slowly in the miniverse 159 00:06:27,184 --> 00:06:28,651 relative to the real world? 160 00:06:28,686 --> 00:06:31,020 Yes, Chris. Thanks for reminding me of that. 161 00:06:31,055 --> 00:06:33,556 Great president. All right, let's go. 162 00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:35,091 Whoa-oh! 163 00:06:35,159 --> 00:06:36,259 Hold on to something. 164 00:06:37,811 --> 00:06:40,012 I put an unbounded vacuum inside a temporal field 165 00:06:40,047 --> 00:06:41,614 until a world developed. 166 00:06:41,648 --> 00:06:43,583 I then introduced the people of this world 167 00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:46,853 to the wonders of electricity in the form of a device 168 00:06:46,887 --> 00:06:48,588 I call a flooble crank. 169 00:06:48,622 --> 00:06:50,022 ZEEP: What they don't know is 170 00:06:50,057 --> 00:06:53,192 that 80% of every crank's energy output gets channeled 171 00:06:53,260 --> 00:06:55,728 out of the miniverse to be used by us. 172 00:06:55,796 --> 00:06:57,296 No more gooble boxes. 173 00:06:57,331 --> 00:06:59,265 RICK: I got to tell you, Zeep, with no disrespect, 174 00:06:59,299 --> 00:07:01,667 I really think what you're doing here is unethical. 175 00:07:01,702 --> 00:07:03,136 - It's not cool. - What?! 176 00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:06,105 Y-y-you got the people on this world slaving away 177 00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:07,840 [burps] making your power. 178 00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:09,342 I mean, that's what I call slavery. 179 00:07:09,376 --> 00:07:11,277 No, no, no, they work for each other 180 00:07:11,311 --> 00:07:13,546 in exchange for money, which they then-- 181 00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:16,749 Well, that just sounds like slavery with extra steps. 182 00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:20,586 Eek barba dirkle, somebody's gonna get laid in college. 183 00:07:20,621 --> 00:07:21,888 Rick, a word? 184 00:07:21,922 --> 00:07:23,022 What the hell was that? 185 00:07:23,056 --> 00:07:24,824 I know. "Eek barba dirkle"? 186 00:07:24,858 --> 00:07:26,626 That's a pretty [bleep] up "ooh-la-la". 187 00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:28,294 No, what are you doing telling this guy 188 00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:29,962 that his miniverse is unethical? 189 00:07:29,997 --> 00:07:32,098 Do you not see the hypocrisy here? 190 00:07:32,132 --> 00:07:34,000 Holy crap. You're right, Morty. 191 00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:35,601 Hypocrisy. 192 00:07:35,636 --> 00:07:37,737 Somewhere on this planet, there's got to be 193 00:07:37,771 --> 00:07:40,039 an arrogant scientist prick on the verge of microverse technology, 194 00:07:40,107 --> 00:07:42,341 which would threaten to make Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete, 195 00:07:42,376 --> 00:07:44,143 forcing Zeep to say microverses are bad, 196 00:07:44,178 --> 00:07:47,046 at which point he'll realize what a hypocrite he's being, 197 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,982 his people will go back to stomping on their gooble boxes, 198 00:07:50,017 --> 00:07:52,351 and you and I will be on ice cream street, baby! 199 00:07:52,386 --> 00:07:54,187 Eating that mother[bleep] ice cream! 200 00:07:54,221 --> 00:07:56,188 Slurping, slurping, slurping it up. 201 00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:58,391 Wh-wh-why are you making that face? 202 00:07:58,425 --> 00:07:59,859 Holy [bleep]! 203 00:07:59,893 --> 00:08:00,949 It's me. 204 00:08:00,974 --> 00:08:02,995 I've convinced the people of this planet that I'm a traveler 205 00:08:03,029 --> 00:08:03,996 from another world. 206 00:08:04,031 --> 00:08:05,998 You don't think that's over[Burps]doing it a little? 207 00:08:06,033 --> 00:08:07,667 I mean, you could achieve the same effect 208 00:08:07,701 --> 00:08:08,968 with a pair of-- Never mind. 209 00:08:09,002 --> 00:08:10,403 You know what? I shouldn't be so critical. 210 00:08:10,437 --> 00:08:11,804 I'm an alien. 211 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,840 Places, please. We're about to land. 212 00:08:17,177 --> 00:08:19,745 [Coughs] Too fast. 213 00:08:19,813 --> 00:08:22,315 [Sirens wailing] SUMMER: [Whimpering] 214 00:08:22,382 --> 00:08:25,718 FEMALE VOICE: Law enforcement converging on location. 215 00:08:25,752 --> 00:08:26,986 Keep Summer safe. 216 00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:29,388 No! No, no! Don't hurt anybody! 217 00:08:29,423 --> 00:08:32,391 [Warble] Confirm custom defense protocol-- 218 00:08:32,426 --> 00:08:35,194 Keep Summer safe-- No physical force. 219 00:08:35,229 --> 00:08:37,512 - Yes. - Processing. 220 00:08:37,547 --> 00:08:40,282 MAN: Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air! 221 00:08:40,316 --> 00:08:42,050 Scanning assailants. 222 00:08:42,084 --> 00:08:44,953 [Warbling, beeping] 223 00:08:44,987 --> 00:08:47,389 Psychological option detected. 224 00:08:47,423 --> 00:08:49,491 [Beeping] Gestating. 225 00:08:49,525 --> 00:08:50,859 "Gestating"? 226 00:08:50,893 --> 00:08:54,462 Come out with your hands up, or we will be forced to open fire! 227 00:08:55,631 --> 00:08:57,260 - Incoming! - We got a device! 228 00:08:57,285 --> 00:08:58,414 Bomb! Bomb! 229 00:09:01,304 --> 00:09:02,504 Daddy? 230 00:09:02,538 --> 00:09:04,506 Oh, my God. [Sighs] 231 00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,174 - Hunter? - Daddy? 232 00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:07,943 What the hell? 233 00:09:07,977 --> 00:09:10,278 [Gasps] Jesus Christ, cease fire! Stay back! 234 00:09:10,313 --> 00:09:11,446 H-h-hunter? 235 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,248 - Daddy. - Hunter! 236 00:09:13,282 --> 00:09:15,250 [Sobbing] Oh, my dear, sweet God, Hunter. 237 00:09:15,284 --> 00:09:16,585 Oh, my boy. My boy. 238 00:09:16,652 --> 00:09:19,054 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was all my fault. 239 00:09:19,088 --> 00:09:21,256 - I'm sorry. - Daddy, leave the car alone. 240 00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:22,424 W-w-w-what? 241 00:09:22,491 --> 00:09:24,526 [Distorted] Leave the car alone. 242 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,194 Hunter? Don't-- 243 00:09:26,228 --> 00:09:27,329 Oh, my God. 244 00:09:27,363 --> 00:09:29,631 Stay here, Hunter! No! 245 00:09:29,665 --> 00:09:32,567 [Sobbing] God, no! Hunter! 246 00:09:34,070 --> 00:09:36,371 FEMALE VOICE: All of you have loved ones. 247 00:09:36,405 --> 00:09:39,007 All can be returned. All can be taken away. 248 00:09:39,075 --> 00:09:41,309 Please step away from the vehicle. 249 00:09:42,278 --> 00:09:44,613 Keep Summer safe. 250 00:09:44,647 --> 00:09:47,415 And if you continue to turn your flooble cranks, 251 00:09:47,483 --> 00:09:50,118 I will bring you other great alien advancements. 252 00:09:50,152 --> 00:09:52,454 - Hey, uh, let me ask you something. - Yes? 253 00:09:52,488 --> 00:09:55,056 Any of your, uh, scientists working on anything new? 254 00:09:55,124 --> 00:09:56,591 All of them. That's their job. 255 00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:59,060 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, energy-wise. 256 00:09:59,128 --> 00:10:01,496 Anyone working on, say, a little universe in a box? 257 00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:03,632 How do you know about that? It's top secret. 258 00:10:03,699 --> 00:10:07,569 ZEEP: So remember-- a crank a day is not nearly enough. 259 00:10:07,603 --> 00:10:09,270 [Laughs] Crank it. 260 00:10:09,338 --> 00:10:12,107 I told them this means "Peace among worlds". 261 00:10:12,141 --> 00:10:15,210 - How hilarious is that? - Re-really funny, Zeep. 262 00:10:15,244 --> 00:10:17,579 Hey, Zeep, the fake president of your fake world 263 00:10:17,613 --> 00:10:19,681 has something fake important to show you. 264 00:10:22,151 --> 00:10:23,052 It's not much now, 265 00:10:23,077 --> 00:10:25,454 but once I learn to accelerate the temporal field, 266 00:10:25,488 --> 00:10:27,622 I'll be able to interact with any sentient life 267 00:10:27,657 --> 00:10:29,457 that evolves and introduce them 268 00:10:29,492 --> 00:10:32,227 to the wonders of electricity via a pulley-based device 269 00:10:32,294 --> 00:10:33,495 I call a blooble yank. 270 00:10:33,529 --> 00:10:35,897 But what they won't know is-- 271 00:10:35,965 --> 00:10:37,666 You'll be taking most of their energy. 272 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:39,234 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. 273 00:10:39,268 --> 00:10:41,603 [Burps] It's show[Burps]time. 274 00:10:45,374 --> 00:10:48,943 You do realize this will make the flooble crank obsolete? 275 00:10:48,978 --> 00:10:52,280 This is wrong, Kyle. What you're doing is wrong. 276 00:10:52,348 --> 00:10:54,582 You're basically-- This is slavery. 277 00:10:54,617 --> 00:10:57,118 You're talking about creating a planet of slaves. 278 00:10:57,153 --> 00:11:00,455 - [Burps] Told you, Zeep. - Oh, they won't be slaves. 279 00:11:00,489 --> 00:11:02,624 They'll work for each other and pay each other money. 280 00:11:02,658 --> 00:11:07,696 That just sounds like slavery with ex... tra... steps. 281 00:11:07,730 --> 00:11:09,497 - What? - Wait a minute. 282 00:11:09,532 --> 00:11:12,167 Did you create my universe? Is my universe a miniverse? 283 00:11:12,234 --> 00:11:14,502 - Microverse! - Uh, teenyverse. 284 00:11:14,537 --> 00:11:16,337 Ugh! You bastard! 285 00:11:16,405 --> 00:11:18,473 Much obliged. 286 00:11:18,497 --> 00:11:20,997 - What the hell is happening? - This is healthy, trust me. 287 00:11:21,177 --> 00:11:23,011 You're my battery, mother[bleep]. 288 00:11:23,045 --> 00:11:24,312 [Groans] That's all you are. 289 00:11:24,346 --> 00:11:26,314 I made you. Your microverse sucks! 290 00:11:26,338 --> 00:11:28,938 And your miniverse is the size of a [bleep] lobster tank! 291 00:11:28,962 --> 00:11:29,718 It's whack! 292 00:11:29,719 --> 00:11:32,020 Are they not really aliens? 293 00:11:32,088 --> 00:11:36,191 Nah, they're just a couple of crazy, wacky scientists, you know? 294 00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:37,592 So he made a universe, 295 00:11:37,626 --> 00:11:39,294 and that guy is from that universe. 296 00:11:39,328 --> 00:11:41,629 And that guy made a universe. 297 00:11:41,664 --> 00:11:45,233 And that's the universe where I was born. 298 00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:47,469 Where my father died. 299 00:11:47,503 --> 00:11:49,704 Where I couldn't make time for his funeral 300 00:11:49,772 --> 00:11:54,209 because I was working on my universe. 301 00:11:54,243 --> 00:11:56,010 - I made you! - [Laughs] Yeah. 302 00:11:56,045 --> 00:11:57,712 Science, huh? Ain't it a thing. 303 00:11:57,747 --> 00:12:00,048 You know, one time, Rick sh-- accidentally shot 304 00:12:00,082 --> 00:12:01,683 his laser pistol right through my hand. 305 00:12:01,717 --> 00:12:05,286 You know, I mean, like, old-lady science, you know? 306 00:12:05,321 --> 00:12:07,122 She's a real-- 307 00:12:07,156 --> 00:12:08,456 You got to hang on tight, you know? 308 00:12:08,491 --> 00:12:11,292 Because she-- she'll-- She bucks pretty hard. 309 00:12:11,327 --> 00:12:14,329 Ooh, boy, what-- Oh, my God, no! 310 00:12:19,301 --> 00:12:20,435 - Teenyverse. - Teenyverse. 311 00:12:22,152 --> 00:12:24,119 Come on, come on, come on. 312 00:12:24,154 --> 00:12:25,254 Pterodactyl! 313 00:12:25,989 --> 00:12:27,290 [Laughs] Asshole! 314 00:12:27,324 --> 00:12:28,925 When I get out of this teenyverse, 315 00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:30,827 I'm gonna smash it to pieces with you in it. 316 00:12:30,861 --> 00:12:32,562 Yeah, well, when I get out of this teenyverse, 317 00:12:32,596 --> 00:12:34,430 I'm gonna get out of the surrounding miniverse 318 00:12:34,465 --> 00:12:36,399 and then the microverse around that, and guess what? 319 00:12:36,433 --> 00:12:37,900 Don't make things worse, Rick! 320 00:12:37,935 --> 00:12:39,902 Uh, he's not gonna destroy your universe. 321 00:12:39,937 --> 00:12:41,904 You know, we-- We need it to start our car. 322 00:12:41,939 --> 00:12:44,273 That's what you used my universe for? 323 00:12:44,308 --> 00:12:45,942 To run your car? 324 00:12:45,976 --> 00:12:47,343 Yeah, but don't flatter yourself. 325 00:12:47,378 --> 00:12:50,079 There's always AAA, you [bleep] [bleep]sucker! 326 00:12:51,148 --> 00:12:53,015 What's he doing? What's he crafting? 327 00:12:53,050 --> 00:12:54,517 I can craft stuff, too, pal! 328 00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:56,386 Just like I crafted your reality! 329 00:12:57,654 --> 00:12:59,055 You crafty son of a-- 330 00:12:59,089 --> 00:13:00,289 Ow! 331 00:13:00,324 --> 00:13:03,926 I crafted the guy that created the planet you're standing on! 332 00:13:03,961 --> 00:13:06,362 Yeah, and I made the stars that became the carbon in your mother's ovaries! 333 00:13:06,397 --> 00:13:08,164 I didn't ask to be born! 334 00:13:08,198 --> 00:13:09,599 All right, that's it! I'm out. 335 00:13:09,633 --> 00:13:11,467 I-I'm gonna go into the wilderness, 336 00:13:11,502 --> 00:13:14,470 and I'm gonna make a new life for myself among the tree people. 337 00:13:14,505 --> 00:13:16,906 - It can't be worse than this. - RICK: Sure. Okay, Morty. 338 00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:19,342 Just be back before sundown or the tree people will eat you. 339 00:13:19,409 --> 00:13:20,376 That's a myth! 340 00:13:20,411 --> 00:13:22,311 W-w-why are you trying to start a myth? 341 00:13:22,346 --> 00:13:23,880 It's a prehistoric planet, Morty. 342 00:13:23,947 --> 00:13:25,448 Someone has to bring a little culture. 343 00:13:25,482 --> 00:13:27,116 And it certainly can't be someone 344 00:13:27,151 --> 00:13:30,286 whose entire culture powers my brake lights! 345 00:13:30,354 --> 00:13:32,388 [Sirens wailing] 346 00:13:32,923 --> 00:13:34,856 Go, go, go! 347 00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,857 Oh, my God. Oh, God. 348 00:13:37,881 --> 00:13:39,581 What are we going to do now? 349 00:13:39,592 --> 00:13:42,427 FEMALE VOICE: I am unable to destroy this army. 350 00:13:42,461 --> 00:13:45,864 To clarify, I am quite able to destroy this army, 351 00:13:45,898 --> 00:13:48,132 - but you will not permit it. - Correct. 352 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,502 You also refuse to authorize emotional countermeasures. 353 00:13:51,537 --> 00:13:54,505 If you're talking about the melting ghost babies, 354 00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,474 yes, please, no more of that. 355 00:13:56,508 --> 00:13:58,476 [Warble] Confirmed. 356 00:13:58,536 --> 00:14:01,536 I am currently constructing a security measure 357 00:14:01,547 --> 00:14:03,414 in compliance with your parameters. 358 00:14:03,449 --> 00:14:06,751 But I do want to say you are not making this easy. 359 00:14:06,819 --> 00:14:08,353 You know you're kind of a dick, right? 360 00:14:08,387 --> 00:14:11,389 My function is to keep Summer safe, 361 00:14:11,423 --> 00:14:14,525 not keep Summer being, like, totally stoked 362 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:17,462 about, like, the general vibe and stuff. 363 00:14:17,496 --> 00:14:20,164 That's you. That's how you talk. 364 00:14:23,702 --> 00:14:26,171 Hey, that's my deer! 365 00:14:27,706 --> 00:14:29,174 Aaaaaaah! 366 00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:30,508 Raah! 367 00:14:30,576 --> 00:14:33,611 I hope your God is as big a dick as you. 368 00:14:36,649 --> 00:14:39,250 My God's the biggest dick that's never existed. 369 00:14:39,285 --> 00:14:41,152 Why do you think I'm even here? 370 00:14:41,187 --> 00:14:43,530 [Snake hisses] 371 00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:45,198 [Eagle screeches] You're here 372 00:14:45,233 --> 00:14:47,401 because you created someone smarter than you. 373 00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:53,373 Oh, I thought we were both here because I created a universe of idiots. 374 00:14:59,847 --> 00:15:02,449 Kalo kada sha la. 375 00:15:02,483 --> 00:15:03,583 Holy shit. Morty? 376 00:15:03,618 --> 00:15:05,252 I haven't seen you in months. 377 00:15:05,286 --> 00:15:06,820 You're leading the tree people? 378 00:15:06,854 --> 00:15:08,288 Huh. That's a step up. 379 00:15:08,322 --> 00:15:09,489 We have no leaders. 380 00:15:09,557 --> 00:15:12,125 We follow only the will of the forest. 381 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,293 Ooh. Wow. 382 00:15:13,327 --> 00:15:16,363 - Gaaaaay. - That is pretty gay. 383 00:15:16,397 --> 00:15:18,231 You two call yourselves geniuses, 384 00:15:18,266 --> 00:15:20,867 but you have spent this time learning nothing. 385 00:15:20,902 --> 00:15:22,769 Come with me into the forest. 386 00:15:22,804 --> 00:15:25,338 There is something I wish to teach you. 387 00:15:28,743 --> 00:15:32,379 This is ku'ala, the spirit tree. 388 00:15:32,413 --> 00:15:34,347 For generations, it has guided the-- 389 00:15:35,550 --> 00:15:37,684 You have to get us the [bleep] out of here. 390 00:15:37,718 --> 00:15:39,553 These people are backwards savages. 391 00:15:39,587 --> 00:15:41,188 They eat every third baby 392 00:15:41,222 --> 00:15:43,356 because they think it makes fruit grow bigger. 393 00:15:43,391 --> 00:15:45,892 Everyone's gross, and they all smell like piss all the time. 394 00:15:45,927 --> 00:15:48,495 I m-- I miss my family. I miss my laptop. 395 00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:51,765 I masturbated to an extra-curvy piece of driftwood the other day! 396 00:15:51,799 --> 00:15:53,500 Look, I don't care what it takes. 397 00:15:53,534 --> 00:15:55,202 You two are putting aside your bull[bleep], 398 00:15:55,236 --> 00:15:57,571 and you're working together to get us back home. 399 00:15:57,605 --> 00:15:59,506 No can do, Morty. I just can't. 400 00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:01,341 I just don't see how I can-- 401 00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:02,642 Ro ro dah no gah! 402 00:16:02,677 --> 00:16:05,412 You're smart. You'll figure it out. 403 00:16:05,446 --> 00:16:09,549 [Guns cocking] You have 10 seconds to get out of the ship! 404 00:16:09,584 --> 00:16:11,485 10, 9... 405 00:16:12,487 --> 00:16:13,753 All right, not bad. 406 00:16:13,788 --> 00:16:15,856 I guess you're an okay proto recombinator. 407 00:16:15,923 --> 00:16:18,458 I've certainly seen worse ionic cell dioxination. 408 00:16:18,493 --> 00:16:20,160 If this works, drinks are on me. 409 00:16:20,194 --> 00:16:21,862 If drinks are on you, you're gonna need 410 00:16:21,929 --> 00:16:23,597 a second mortgage on that tower. 411 00:16:23,631 --> 00:16:25,132 I'm an alcoholic. 412 00:16:25,199 --> 00:16:26,700 Opium addict. 413 00:16:26,734 --> 00:16:28,902 [Both laugh] 414 00:16:28,936 --> 00:16:31,538 All right, okay, okay, okay, wrap it up. 415 00:16:31,606 --> 00:16:34,441 You guys are the [bleep] worst! Your gods are a lie! 416 00:16:34,509 --> 00:16:36,943 [Bleep] you, [bleep] nature, and [bleep] trees! 417 00:16:39,514 --> 00:16:40,747 Yes! You did it! Yes! 418 00:16:40,781 --> 00:16:42,516 Hey, uh, how about that drink? 419 00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:45,619 Sure, I just need to go grab my wallet from inside my ship. 420 00:16:45,653 --> 00:16:47,187 Isour wallet in your ship? 421 00:16:47,255 --> 00:16:50,223 That's where the transporter is, too, so why don't we come with? 422 00:16:50,258 --> 00:16:53,437 It's cool. I'll be back in a sec. 423 00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:56,941 You know how long a second can take in a microverse? 424 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,976 Oh! Run, Morty! 425 00:16:59,011 --> 00:17:01,312 That asshole's willing to risk everything he cares about just to defeat me! 426 00:17:01,346 --> 00:17:02,480 He's psychotic! 427 00:17:02,547 --> 00:17:03,748 [Both pant] 428 00:17:05,384 --> 00:17:07,685 - Morty, hop on my back. - Why? 429 00:17:07,719 --> 00:17:10,054 Go, go [Burps] Sanchez ski shoes. 430 00:17:11,757 --> 00:17:13,891 Aaaaaah! ...Eight... 431 00:17:13,926 --> 00:17:14,992 [Panting] 432 00:17:15,027 --> 00:17:16,327 Aaaah! Oof! 433 00:17:16,395 --> 00:17:17,695 [All grunting] 434 00:17:17,729 --> 00:17:19,697 Hold still. [Grunts] 435 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:24,669 Oh, hey, guys. I just finished cooking us a feast. 436 00:17:24,703 --> 00:17:26,470 Aaaah! Holy-- 437 00:17:26,505 --> 00:17:28,673 - You monster! - Whoa. Bad tour. 438 00:17:28,707 --> 00:17:30,374 ...seven... 439 00:17:30,442 --> 00:17:32,009 [Elevator bell dings] Hey, you got to sign out. 440 00:17:32,077 --> 00:17:34,545 Nothing you do matters! Your existence is a lie! 441 00:17:34,613 --> 00:17:38,382 If that were really true, then... 442 00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:40,451 - I'm here to see Ron Mendleson. - Third floor. 443 00:17:40,485 --> 00:17:41,986 Would you like to go to dinner with-- 444 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,788 Uh, no. 445 00:17:43,822 --> 00:17:45,389 [Both panting] 446 00:17:46,458 --> 00:17:49,927 You may have created this universe, Rick, but I live in it. 447 00:17:49,962 --> 00:17:51,462 [Bleep] 448 00:17:51,496 --> 00:17:53,631 What are we gonna do, Rick? We're so screwed. 449 00:17:53,665 --> 00:17:55,066 He's gonna get to the ship and smash the microverse, 450 00:17:55,091 --> 00:17:56,091 and then he's gonna kill us! 451 00:17:56,134 --> 00:17:57,660 Quick, Morty, you've got to turn into a car. 452 00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:58,169 What?! 453 00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:00,604 A long time ago, I implanted you with a subdermal chip 454 00:18:00,672 --> 00:18:03,107 that could call upon dormant nanobots in your bloodstream 455 00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:05,509 to restructure your anatomy and turn you into a car. 456 00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:06,777 - Oh, my God! - Concentrate, Morty. 457 00:18:06,812 --> 00:18:08,179 Concentrate and turn into a car, Morty. 458 00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:09,747 [Grunts] 459 00:18:09,815 --> 00:18:11,615 Never mind. Here's a taxi. Get in. It's fine. 460 00:18:11,650 --> 00:18:13,117 ...six... 461 00:18:15,821 --> 00:18:16,954 - Hey, Zeep. - Huh? 462 00:18:16,989 --> 00:18:19,690 Happy Ricksgiving, biiiiiitch. 463 00:18:19,725 --> 00:18:21,826 Aaah! 464 00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:23,527 We did it, Morty. 465 00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:25,096 Now let's get out of here and destroy this whole universe. 466 00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:26,464 Excuse me? 467 00:18:26,498 --> 00:18:27,898 ...five-- 468 00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:29,600 Sir? 469 00:18:29,668 --> 00:18:31,435 [Spiders hiss] 470 00:18:31,503 --> 00:18:32,937 - Holy hell. - Sir! 471 00:18:32,971 --> 00:18:34,071 [Tires screech] 472 00:18:34,106 --> 00:18:35,206 Hold you fire! 473 00:18:36,842 --> 00:18:37,942 [Spider snarls] 474 00:18:37,976 --> 00:18:39,744 What's going on? 475 00:18:39,778 --> 00:18:41,512 FEMALE VOICE: I have brokered a peace agreement 476 00:18:41,546 --> 00:18:43,614 between the giant spiders and the government. 477 00:18:43,648 --> 00:18:47,051 Thanks to the skilled diplomacy of this mysterious space car, 478 00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:49,987 from this day forward, human- and spiderkind will live 479 00:18:50,022 --> 00:18:51,856 side by side in peace. 480 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,692 We will stop bombing them, and they will no longer use 481 00:18:54,726 --> 00:18:56,761 their telepathic abilities to make us wander into webs 482 00:18:56,828 --> 00:18:58,462 for later consumption. 483 00:18:58,497 --> 00:19:00,564 Instead, we will work together to make this world 484 00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:04,602 a better place for all, no matter how many legs. 485 00:19:04,669 --> 00:19:06,771 What do we do about the space car? 486 00:19:06,838 --> 00:19:08,139 Leave it alone. 487 00:19:08,173 --> 00:19:09,807 I mean, what did it really do, anyways? 488 00:19:09,841 --> 00:19:11,108 Kill a guy and paralyze his buddy? 489 00:19:11,143 --> 00:19:14,011 [Chuckles] Not a bad trade for spider peace. 490 00:19:14,046 --> 00:19:15,980 All right, that's it. Move out! 491 00:19:20,886 --> 00:19:23,721 [Laughs] I love this spider! 492 00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:25,489 FEMALE VOICE: Summer is safe. 493 00:19:25,524 --> 00:19:26,991 All right, I get it. 494 00:19:31,029 --> 00:19:32,229 Rick! 495 00:19:32,264 --> 00:19:33,931 [Thunder crashes] 496 00:19:33,999 --> 00:19:35,566 Don't do it. 497 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,869 You quit school, but you still got some learning to do. 498 00:19:49,915 --> 00:19:51,015 [Both groan] 499 00:19:51,049 --> 00:19:52,683 Aah! 500 00:19:52,717 --> 00:19:54,118 Unh! 501 00:20:00,792 --> 00:20:02,893 [Snorts, spits] 502 00:20:02,928 --> 00:20:04,995 Class dismissed. 503 00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:07,264 Geez. 504 00:20:13,939 --> 00:20:15,873 [Bottles clatter] 505 00:20:15,941 --> 00:20:17,508 - You all right? - Uh-huh! 506 00:20:17,576 --> 00:20:18,776 What are you doing, Rick? 507 00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:20,544 I'm pretty sure the battery's dead. 508 00:20:20,579 --> 00:20:21,879 Oh, you think so, huh, Morty? 509 00:20:21,947 --> 00:20:23,080 Well, let's see. [Engine turns over] 510 00:20:23,115 --> 00:20:25,983 Hey, wait-- huh? I don't get it. 511 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:28,252 Of course you don't. But Zeep did. 512 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,854 He knew that once I got back to my car, 513 00:20:29,888 --> 00:20:31,789 one of two things was gonna happen-- 514 00:20:31,823 --> 00:20:33,858 I was gonna have to toss a broken battery, 515 00:20:33,892 --> 00:20:36,727 or the battery wouldn't be broken. 516 00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:45,035 Peace among worlds, Rick. 517 00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:46,237 Jesus. 518 00:20:46,271 --> 00:20:48,572 Yeah. Listen to that baby purr. 519 00:20:48,607 --> 00:20:49,374 You were right, Morty-- 520 00:20:49,399 --> 00:20:51,142 We really just needed to be honest with those guys. 521 00:20:51,176 --> 00:20:52,376 All right, here we go. 522 00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:56,814 Thank y-o-o-ou. 523 00:20:56,848 --> 00:20:58,816 See, Morty? This is what it's all about. 524 00:20:58,850 --> 00:21:00,284 This is why we do what we do. 525 00:21:00,318 --> 00:21:01,785 - Uh-huh. - Ew! What the hell? 526 00:21:01,853 --> 00:21:03,954 Jesus! There's flies in my ice cream. 527 00:21:03,989 --> 00:21:05,222 Presidential decree-- 528 00:21:05,257 --> 00:21:09,326 All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs. 529 00:21:09,361 --> 00:21:11,428 - What the [bleep] did you do, Summer?! - It was your ship! 530 00:21:11,463 --> 00:21:13,063 - Your stupid ship did it! - Don't blame my ship! 531 00:21:13,098 --> 00:21:14,932 - It melted a child! - My ship doesn't do anything... 532 00:21:14,999 --> 00:21:16,467 - It killed it itself! - ...unless it's told to do something! 533 00:21:16,501 --> 00:21:18,341 - We almost died! - I don't want to hear it, Summer! 534 00:21:18,370 --> 00:21:20,404 [Shouting indistinctly] Your boobs are all hanging about, 535 00:21:20,472 --> 00:21:22,373 and you ruined ice cream with your boobs out. 536 00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:24,108 And don't even try to deny it, either. 537 00:21:24,142 --> 00:21:25,242 MORTY: [Groans] 538 00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:31,366 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 539 00:22:01,013 --> 00:22:02,413 [Car alarm chirps] 540 00:22:03,348 --> 00:22:05,550 [Engine revs, students scream] 541 00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:12,023 [Alarm blaring, horn honking] 542 00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:15,293 Did you get any of that? 543 00:22:15,594 --> 00:22:20,031 It's a good show.