1 00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:04,703 [ Vacuum running ] 2 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,680 Hurry up, morty. 3 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,115 Grandpa's about to un-freeze time. 4 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,617 You really should be cleaning from top to bottom. 5 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,486 I know how to vacuum mom and dad, summer. 6 00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:21,954 I've been doing it for six months. 7 00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:24,690 Then you've been doing it wrong for six months. 8 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,291 Oh, my God, is that mildew? 9 00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,627 It's not my fault we froze time on a humid day. 10 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,830 You have dropped so many balls, man. 11 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,832 Do you ever get scared grandpa Rick 12 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,467 might make me his new sidekick? 13 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:38,704 What?! What kind of monster are you? A competent one. 14 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,140 Who cares about the [Burps] things you guys are talking about? 15 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,809 [ Burps ] The whole point of freezing time was to stop gmng a [Bleep] 16 00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,010 Put a shirt on your dumb dad, 17 00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,479 and let's get this dumb universe rolling. 18 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:49,548 Let's do this thing. 19 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,685 All right, listen, you two. 20 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,521 We froze time for a pretty long time, 21 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:56,755 so when I un-freeze it, 22 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,157 the world's time is gonna be fine, 23 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,192 but our time's gonna need a little time 24 00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,593 to, you know, stabilize. 25 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:02,728 Our time is gonna be unstable? 26 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,163 What does that even mean? 27 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,498 It means relax and stop being a pussy, morty. 28 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,500 Uh, I thought you learned that by now. 29 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,002 It also means don't touch your parents, 30 00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:11,904 or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards. 31 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:14,339 - Wait a minute, what? - And away we Go! 32 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,541 [ Device warbles ] 33 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:19,344 ♪♪ 34 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,947 Um... did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Benson? 35 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,248 - Shhh. - Shush, morty. 36 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,617 A thing or two about... Wait, what? 37 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,453 Was the house... When we pulled up, 38 00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:30,556 I could have sworn the house was completely trashed. 39 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:31,924 Negative visualization, Jerry. 40 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,725 Explains a lot about where you're at. 41 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,694 - Hi, sweetie. - Hi, dad. 42 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,629 Summer, morty, are you okay? 43 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,565 We... we just missed you a lot. 44 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,066 Yeah, we missed you so much. 45 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,768 Too much to hug you, though. 46 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,269 Yeah, it would literally destroy them. 47 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,105 Now, listen, why don't... Why don't... wh-why don't... 48 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,973 Why don't you guys Go get a free Sunday ice cream? 49 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,541 Get out there and get some ice creams. 50 00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,910 Here's $500 cash in unmarked monies. 51 00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,812 I'm just gonna put it on the floor 52 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,247 and kick it on over to ya. 53 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,382 - You guys Go nuts. - This better not be a bribe. 54 00:01:57,384 --> 00:02:00,619 If I find a single thing out of place in this house, 55 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,888 my love of ice cream won't save you. 56 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,456 I'll get my jacket. 57 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,993 Sweetie, is your shirt on backwards? 58 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,595 [ All gasp ] 59 00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:12,231 Yeah. I like it this way. 60 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,465 I'm not stupid. 61 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,733 - Phew! - Oh. 62 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,602 Man, that guy is the redgren grumbholdt 63 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,504 of pretending he knows what's going on. 64 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,738 [ Rick and summer laugh ] 65 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,006 - Oh, you agree, huh? - It's funny. 66 00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,407 You like that redgren grumbholdt reference? 67 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,276 Yeah. Well, guess what? I made him up. 68 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,078 You really are your father's children. 69 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,281 Think for yourselves. Don't be sheep. 70 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:33,385 [ Dramatic electronic music plays ] 71 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,878 [ Electricity crackles ] 72 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:07,119 God, I feel terrible. 73 00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,687 Yep, it really makes you appreciate 74 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,122 how fickle the universe can be. 75 00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,691 One minute you're falling off a roof for six months, 76 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,059 the next minute, bam! 77 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,961 Uh, just to be clear, it was summer's job 78 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,196 to put the mattress under... 79 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,830 Uh, what? It was your job, morty. 80 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,232 - Nuh-uh! - Yuh-huh! 81 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,300 Actually, sorry, summer. 82 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,901 I got to back the "m" bomb on this one. 83 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,403 I remember the conversation. 84 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,805 We told morty to replace all the bank's money with cookies. 85 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,907 Your job was to put the mattress under Mr. Benson. 86 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,809 Boom! In your face, summer! 87 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,978 You really dropped the ball, man. 88 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,047 Shut up, morty, you vindictive little turd! 89 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,849 You shut up, you big female asshole! 90 00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,551 [ Warbles ] Hey, don't shove me! 91 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,819 - I didn't! - You didn't what? 92 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,487 - What's your problem? - What's yours? 93 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,589 - Shut up! - You shut up! 94 00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:44,990 [ Rumbling ] - Wh-whoa, whoa! 95 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,192 What the [Echoing] hell, hell, hell, hell, hell? 96 00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:49,828 [ Echoing ] Oh, God. Oh, no. What did you guys just do? 97 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,330 - What did who do? - What do you mean? 98 00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,265 Wait, what am I saying? [ Burps ] Were either 99 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,434 of you guys uncertain about anything just now? 100 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,668 Oh, man, I don't feel good. 101 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,070 - Am I me? - Am I talking right now? 102 00:03:58,072 --> 00:03:59,705 - I think so. - Wait, who said that? 103 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,273 All right, both of you just don't move. 104 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,442 Don't speak, don't think. I have to check something. 105 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,577 - What'd you do, morty? - I'm gonna help grandpa. 106 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,013 I'll see if he needs help. What do you mean you're gonna help him? 107 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,548 [ Scoffs ] I can help, too. 108 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,516 - What's happening, grandpa? - What's going on, Rick? 109 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,185 Sh-sh-shut up. 110 00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,520 Oh, crap, are you kidding me? Two dots? 111 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,222 This never needs to be more than one dot. 112 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,857 The two of you made us uncertain! 113 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,626 - What are you talking about? - What's that mean? 114 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,027 - English, please. - English? 115 00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,562 Our time is fractured... You two somehow created 116 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,731 a feedback look of uncertainty that split our reality 117 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:28,200 into two equally possible impossibilities. 118 00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:30,535 W-we're exactly like a man capable of sustaining 119 00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:33,538 a platonic friendship with an attractive female co-worker. 120 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,973 We're entirely hypothetical. 121 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,643 But I thought there were infinite time lines? 122 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,711 We're not on any time line, dummy. 123 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,813 Look. [ Cat meows ] 124 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,081 Oh, my God! 125 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,283 Summer: Are those cats? 126 00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:46,618 I assume they're schrodinger's cats. 127 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,053 Or, actually, I assume 128 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,554 they both are and aren't, just like us. 129 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,256 - Is the world gone? - Is the world gone? 130 00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,924 - Where are mom and dad? - What about mom and dad? 131 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,260 Mom and dad? Get your head out of your family's ass. 132 00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:57,663 The three of us are lost in a timeless oblmon. 133 00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:59,131 Your parents get to exist. 134 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,233 They're probably lmng it up in some pointless, 135 00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:03,435 grounded story about their [Bleep] marriage. 136 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,404 Jerry: Cold stone creamery is the best. 137 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,407 What should we do with our remaining $20? 138 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,476 You realize they sing no matter how much you tip? 139 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,345 - Whoa! - Aaah! 140 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,346 Holy [Bleep] 141 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,248 - What happened? - I hit a deer. 142 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,317 We... we have to tell the cops you were drmng. 143 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,019 - What? - This is rum raisin! 144 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,523 It's still alive. 145 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:28,260 Well, do we... do I, uh, get, uh, a big rock, or...? 146 00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,961 It's not an armadillo, asshole. 147 00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,830 I thought that's what a man's supposed to say. 148 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,365 It's not like I could've actually done it. 149 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,334 If we were near a hospital, I could treat it, 150 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,035 but I... I think we have to just... 151 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:39,471 It's okay. This is just something that happens. 152 00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:42,274 And even if we were in a hospital, what could we do? 153 00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:44,776 You're a horse surgeon, not a deer surgeon. 154 00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:45,944 So...? 155 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,279 Well, don't different animals... 156 00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:49,014 Require different levels of skill to keep alive? 157 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,682 - Oh, God. - Get the deer in the car, Jerry. 158 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,117 Yes, Beth. 159 00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,119 This is why you don't freeze time, you guys. 160 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,554 It's incredibly irresponsible. 161 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,023 And you did it so we could clean the house after a party? 162 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,459 Look, there's no time to hold me accountable, morty. 163 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,327 Like, literally no time. Look around. 164 00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,863 Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. 165 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,132 Eventually, everything either is or isn't. 166 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,634 And we've got about four hours to be "is." 167 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,536 - Or...? - We isn't. 168 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,339 All right, since this time crystal exists in both possibilities, 169 00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,808 and since it's impossible that I didn't nail this, 170 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,510 I'm probably about to press this button 171 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,879 in both possibilities at exactly the same time. 172 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,314 - How do you know... - How do you know that... 173 00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,316 Whatever your asking me, the answer is I'm amazing. 174 00:06:24,318 --> 00:06:26,318 And away we Go. 175 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,221 [ Warbling ] 176 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,857 Huh, what do you know. It's working. 177 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:34,359 - Ow, ow, ow! - Oh [Bleep] 178 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,728 What the hell is wrong with you two? 179 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,996 I-I-I-I mean you four! 180 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,731 Both: That hurt! That was painful. 181 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,000 Good, I'm glad it was painful. You deserve it. 182 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,569 I saw you. Y-you're both [Burps] all over the damn place. 183 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,738 We've been split for 20 minutes and your lives 184 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,274 are already scattered to the quantum [Bleep] wind? 185 00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,776 What the hell do either of you two 186 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:53,345 have to be so uncertain about? Your brand of zit cream? 187 00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,347 Which chair to sit in while I do everything? 188 00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:57,115 Come on, spit it out! Well, you don't exactly make it easy, Rick. 189 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,284 You make fun of me all the time... You're always picking on me... 190 00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,620 And now summer's doing it... and now you got summer to kiss your ass. 191 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,022 Me?! What about you? You're just as mean to me because you're jealous... 192 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,291 Could you get more excited to see me fail? Because you want grandpa all to yourself! 193 00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,960 All right, all right, cool it. I see what's happening here. 194 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,695 You're both young, you're both unsure 195 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,030 about your place in the universe, 196 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,899 and you both want to be grandpa's favorite. 197 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,534 I can fix this. Morty, sit here. 198 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,302 Summer, you sit here. Now, listen. 199 00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,970 I know the two of you are very different 200 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,238 from each other in a lot of ways, 201 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,540 but you have to understand 202 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,208 that as far as grandpa's concerned, 203 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,910 you're both pieces of shit. Yeah. 204 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,244 I can prove it mathematically. 205 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,979 Actually, l-l-let me grab my white board. 206 00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,714 This has been a long time coming, anyway. 207 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,450 [ Tires screech ] 208 00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,385 Emergency! Wounded deer coming in. 209 00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,053 [ Air hissing ] - Three. 210 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,888 Excuse me, you can't be back here. 211 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,390 I'm a certified horse surgeon, 212 00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:40,325 and this deer needs medical attention. 213 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,661 - Nurse, please move that snake. - That's my nurse. 214 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,629 And as a horse surgeon, I'm sure that you know 215 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,999 that deer have much smaller, much more intricate organs. 216 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,068 As a vet, I'm sure you know that a deer 217 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,404 is closer to a horse than you are to a doctor. 218 00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:55,073 So let's save the measuring for when our dicks are out. 219 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,775 - It's time to save a life! - Geez. 220 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,243 [ Grunts, sighs ] 221 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,679 That's odd. This deer's wounded. 222 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,081 Uh, yeah, I was there. You don't have to rub it in. 223 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,450 I mean it's been shot with a gun. 224 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,586 Man: My gun. 225 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,187 May I help you, sir? 226 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,122 No, but you can stop helping this deer. 227 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,358 I shot it before these two hit it with their car, 228 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,460 and I followed them when they hauled it off. 229 00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,095 This deer belongs to me. 230 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,097 [ Sighs ] We don't have time for this, okay? 231 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,966 I need anaesthetic and deer saline. 232 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,934 Look, I don't know what the law says about this, 233 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,604 but I took an oath that I would let no animal come to harm. 234 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,139 Except when sterilizing, aborting, or euthanizing them, 235 00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:30,108 or also when eating them at also any meal. 236 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,943 I'm calling my lawyer. 237 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,479 I hope for all our sakes you're as bad a surgeon as I am a hunter. 238 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,448 In your dreams, bitch. Scalpel. 239 00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:39,851 So, in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial, 240 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,620 overly sensitive, clingy, 241 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,788 hysterical, bird-brained homunculi. 242 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,892 And I honestly can't even tell the two of you apart half the time 243 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,460 because I don't Go by height or age, 244 00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:50,061 I Go by amount of pain in my ass, 245 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,329 which makes you both identical. 246 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,964 All right, everything resolved? 247 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,233 Everybody nice and certain about their position in my world. 248 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,535 Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. 249 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,136 All right, perfect. Sit still. 250 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,071 [ Burps ] Arms down. I'm gonna do this again. 251 00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,073 This time be like grandpa. 252 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,241 You mean drunk? 253 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,043 What's that? You got something to say? 254 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,144 - No. - And away we Go! 255 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,747 And away we Go! 256 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:11,650 - Huh, that's weird. - Huh, that's weird. 257 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:12,918 [ Button clicking ] 258 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:13,919 - Oh, my God. - What? 259 00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,420 - Oh, my God. - What? 260 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:16,922 The son of a bitch is gonna kill me! What?! 261 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,890 The son of a bitch is gonna kill me! What?! 262 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,225 Diabolical, unfeeling sociopath. 263 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,726 - Don't you get it?! - Don't you get it?! 264 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,929 The other Rick isn't trying to merge us anymore. 265 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,363 He thinks he can save his own skin 266 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,731 by using the crystal to kill me. 267 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,667 He probably figures it's [Belches] easier 268 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:31,102 to eliminate one of the possibilities rather than merge them. 269 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,337 [ Laughs ] I have to admit, 270 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,172 it was always in the back of my mind, too. 271 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,107 The difference is I would never do it, until now. 272 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,510 Rick, what the hell are you doing? Saving our lives! 273 00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:41,179 After he takes me out, he's... He's gonna be coming for you. 274 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,380 - Who? - Me! 275 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,515 [ Gunshot ] - Aah! 276 00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,216 - Whoa! - You see that? Get down! 277 00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,285 I told you, he's a psycho. He's lost it! 278 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,387 Th-th-th-the time fracture must have made him crazy! 279 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,056 - I don't know what to do! - Oh, crap! 280 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,757 I don't know what to do! [ Rumbling ] 281 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,225 [ Device beeps ] 282 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,061 Oh, God, now there's three of them. 283 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,029 We're outnumbered. Get in the cupboards. 284 00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,230 Wait, don't... don't do that. 285 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,732 They'll know. Wait, wait. 286 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,968 Think about getting in the cupboards, but don't really. 287 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,736 [ Gunshots ] [ Screams ] 288 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,038 Is this what you want, you sick [Bleep]?! 289 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,607 You want to see children die?! 290 00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:09,708 You son of a bitch. 291 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,210 You don't stop lmng until I say so! 292 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,244 Michael. 293 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,713 - Who's this now? - My lawyer. 294 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,215 I'm here to notify you, ma'am, that in this county, 295 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,783 any deer shot by a hunter 296 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,119 is that hunter's property regardless of how far it runs 297 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,988 or who intercepts it before it dies. 298 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:24,255 It's called Brad's law. 299 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,724 We can't make you stop the surgery, 300 00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:28,126 but at this point, you're performing it on venison. 301 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,462 Actually, I've decided not to eat it. 302 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,965 All this fear and conflict... I'm sure it's ruined the meat. 303 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,401 I'm just gonna use the head for my rec-room wall. 304 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,902 She normally works on horses. 305 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,972 Jerry, if you're not gonna help, get the [Bleep] out of here. 306 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,340 I will reach into heaven 307 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,909 and yank your screaming deer soul back! 308 00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,745 Jesus. 309 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,013 Shh, shh! 310 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,914 I know where you are, you creepy old monster. 311 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,249 I know how you think. 312 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,251 Oh, is there where you think I'm going? 313 00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:54,786 You think I'm standing here? 314 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,021 Well, maybe you're right. 315 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,455 [ Morty grunts ] [ Rick groans ] 316 00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:58,957 Summer: Holy [Bleep] now what? 317 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,992 Well, if all of me knocked out all the ricks, 318 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,360 and you peed in all of your pants, 319 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,262 doesn't that mean that we're all synchronized? 320 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,764 - Right. - Okay. 321 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:08,433 So, from now on, whatever we do, we have to be certain. 322 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,668 Right. 323 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,537 I think I'm certain we're effed in the "a." 324 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,207 [ Cats meowing, purring ] 325 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,442 Oh, God, my head. 326 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,977 [ Groans ] What did you guys do? 327 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:22,113 We put you in a dog crate because you were acting crazy 328 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,182 and you caused another time fracture. 329 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,384 You tried to kill yourself. 330 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,618 O-only in self-defense. 331 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:28,019 Myself tried to kill me first. 332 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,288 Guys, I don't expect you to understand this, 333 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,123 but time breaking twice means our problem is 334 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,893 two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it. 335 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,195 Well, actually, I do expect you to understand that. 336 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,664 It's basic math. C-can somebody just let me out of here? 337 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,299 If I die in a cage, I lose a bet. 338 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:42,834 Well, is there some way you can prove 339 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,736 you're not a threat to yourself and others anymore? 340 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,471 Oh, for God's sake. All right, here. 341 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,540 - Give me the time crystal. - Wh-what are you doing? 342 00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,709 Calling myself. Here, listen. 343 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,377 It'll [Burps] probably Go to voicemail 344 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,045 since, you know, I'm calling myself. 345 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,814 Hello, Rick here. 346 00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:57,482 Don't fall for it. It's a bit. 347 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,917 Just kidding! Ha, ha! 348 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,251 You just got ricked. 349 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,720 You've reached Rick's voicemail. 350 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,221 You know what to do. [ Bee ] 351 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,689 Hey, Rick. It's Rick. 352 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,391 Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings. 353 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,393 I know you know I mean it, too. Take it easy. 354 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,828 Whoa, damn! Look at this. 355 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,163 I'm blowing up... Three new voicemails. 356 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,364 Hey, Rick. It's Rick. 357 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,666 Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. 358 00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,267 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard this one. 359 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,602 Hey, Rick. It's Rick. 360 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,104 Hey, Rick, it's... You get the idea. 361 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,739 [ Burps ] W-we're cool now. 362 00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,574 Okay, well, we're still not gonna let you out of this crate. 363 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,008 Fine. I'll just do it myself. 364 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,444 If you could get out that whole time, why didn't you? 365 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,246 Because I waited until I was certain 366 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,748 it was what I wanted to do, morty. 367 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,683 That's the difference between you and me. 368 00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:32,917 I'm certain, and you're 369 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,420 a walking burlap sack filled with turds. 370 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,755 You know, geez, Rick! 371 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,389 Y-y-you're really tearing into me right now. 372 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,958 You know, words hurt. 373 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,259 - Holy! - A monster! 374 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,194 Hey, you... hey, quit yelling. 375 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,430 Quit yelling. What the [Bleep] 376 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,265 Your time is all ripped up to hell! 377 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,267 [ Warbles ] You broke your time twice. 378 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,269 - [ Sighs ] - How did this happen? 379 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,771 [ All speaking indistinctly ] 380 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,306 Nevermind. Shut the [Bleep] up. Oh, damn. 381 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,075 I'm from the fourth dimension. 382 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,443 I can hear all of y'all. 383 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,645 Now let's just see what we got here for a second. 384 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,448 - [ Groans ] - Hey, damn it. 385 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,482 Were you trying to use this to... 386 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,452 Oh, see, you broke time, and you thought you could 387 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,454 just stick it back together with this? 388 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,089 How you think you gonna move time 389 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,490 while you're standing in it, 390 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,292 you dumbass three-dimensional monkey-ass dummies? 391 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,560 Oh, way to Go, Rick. 392 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,928 Yeah, grandpa, way to Go. 393 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,797 What, you're just gonna listen to this guy now? 394 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,999 He's got a giant testicle for a head. 395 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,267 He came here in a bubble. 396 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:23,768 For all we know, he could be 397 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,670 the David berkowitz of nutsackland. 398 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,839 Shut up. Here, put these on. 399 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,674 They'll sync your possibilities up 400 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,743 so I can bring you back to certain time. 401 00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:33,912 Y'all are just... Just... just negligent. 402 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,747 See, now... Now look right here. 403 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,649 Hey, hey, hey, the three of you, put your collars on. 404 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,350 - We have them on. - What are you talking about? 405 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,752 - Uh, we did. - We're not wearing collars. 406 00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:42,587 Exactly. 'Cause you're being obstinate. 407 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,988 [ Belches ] What? 408 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,957 Put the damn collars on if you want to live. 409 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,926 - They're on right now. - We did. They're on. 410 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:50,094 All right, fine. Summer, morty, put them on. 411 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,496 [ Device beeps ] 412 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,298 [ Warbling ] 413 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,632 - Yes, we're back! - No more cats! 414 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,501 - We're back in certain time. - Problem solved. 415 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,769 No more cats! Oh, you did it! 416 00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,704 - You fixed it. - Yeah, I did. 417 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,306 Now keep those collars on so you 418 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:02,841 don't break your weak-ass time again. 419 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,876 How long, exactly, do we have to wear these things? 420 00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,344 They're really embarrassing. 421 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,613 Well, since you're going to time prison, 422 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,715 I'd say you can keep them on forever. 423 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,650 - Time prison? - Yeah. 424 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,652 Well, I don't know where you expect me to think 425 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,020 you got that crystal over there, 426 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:19,958 but the only way your dumbass assin' ass asses 427 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,827 could ever have on is if it was stolen. 428 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:25,363 You stole a time-freezing crystal from testicle monsters?! 429 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,032 I would've been happy to pay for it, s... [burps] Summer, 430 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,068 but they don't exactly sell them at costco. 431 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,904 Besides, there's a larger lesson to be learned here. Get him! 432 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,539 No, no, no, no! You better keep back! 433 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,007 Man, this will turn your ass 434 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:38,343 into a third-trimester fetus from 30 yards. 435 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,845 [ Monitor beeping ] 436 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,247 Mm. 437 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,883 Isn't there a kitten somewhere that needs a manicure? 438 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:47,385 That's right, Mrs. Smith. Give in to your anger. 439 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,520 Neglect that deer. 440 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,422 Honey, it's gonna be okay. 441 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,391 These men are from the cervine institute 442 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,893 of of elk, moose, deer, and stag. 443 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,895 They can take this deer to a helicopter 444 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:59,030 and fly it to the country's top deer surgeon 445 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,399 on a wildlife reserve across the state border. 446 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,935 Where your jurisdiction ends. 447 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,338 I guess that's the end of that. 448 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,907 There is just one more thing. 449 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,542 According to this state's veterinarian statute, 450 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,411 this animal can't be transferred 451 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,513 until the current attending physician 452 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:18,182 verbally confirms their inability 453 00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,884 to provide adequate care. 454 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:22,086 You heard the man, horse doctor. 455 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:25,924 You have to say you couldn't hack it. 456 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,593 We did it! 457 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,528 Uh-huh. No, mother... no. Earth, dude. 458 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,864 No, I'm talking about... Yeah, with the dinosaurs. 459 00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:35,533 No, if you get to the dolphin people, you gone too far. 460 00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,702 All right, man, I'll talk to you later. Okay. 461 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,103 You know what they do 462 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,039 to third-dimensional life forms in time prison? 463 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,408 Same thing they do in every other prison, only forever. 464 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,776 Why are you doing this? 465 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,945 You think I want to be an omniscient immortal being 466 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,113 transcending time and space my whole life? 467 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,148 I got ambitions, man. 468 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,050 Bringing you guys in is my ticket up. 469 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:55,253 What if I told you there's a huge ticket 470 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,454 up right behind you? 471 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,655 You really think I'm that stupid? 472 00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,290 All right, hear me out on this. 473 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,159 You're immortal, right, which means your life is infinite. 474 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,161 Okay, well, then that means there's a 100% chance 475 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,796 that you'll eventually do everything, 476 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,298 including turning around to look behind you. 477 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,466 I cannot argue that. 478 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,069 [ Thud! ] - Aaah! 479 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,570 [ Squeals ] Oh, God, gross and weird! 480 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,739 Chris! [ Splat! ] 481 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,107 You killed my gun! 482 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,742 Rick: Summer, morty, take off your collars. 483 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,243 What? What the hell are you doing? 484 00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:23,848 Good question. I suppose the answer is I'm not certain. 485 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,483 Oh, no, what are you doing? 486 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,251 - I have no idea. - I'm not sure. 487 00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,686 Stop it! 488 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,155 [ Echoing ] Maybe I will, maybe I won't. 489 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,458 I'm really uncertain about everything, 490 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,759 even kicking your ass. 491 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,127 List... hey! Tw... ow! 492 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,162 But the... these arms are vestigial! [ Grunts ] 493 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,164 Now, you poked me where an eye would've been 494 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,766 about 6 million years ago. 495 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,768 Summer: [ Echoing ] Come on, let's help grandpa. 496 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:46,204 Morty: [ Echoing ] Yes! I'm 100% not sure about anything! 497 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,939 Yeah, totally uncertain. 498 00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:49,774 Beat his ass! Get him! Beat him up! 499 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,210 - Kick his ass, Rick! - Die, mother[Bleep] 500 00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,611 Ow! I'm defeated. 501 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,613 - What's happening? - Time is falling apart. 502 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,148 We've got to get back to certainty quick. 503 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,483 Give me your collars. 504 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,518 Oh, man. Don't you have to fix, like, 30 of them? 505 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,886 Morty, I have to fix three of them. 506 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,454 And then there's 31 other versions of me 507 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:06,124 that have to also fix three, for a total of 96. 508 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,526 I'm not an idiot. I know how to be decisive. 509 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,461 Now hand me that flat-head screwdriver. Now hand me that Phillips screwdriver. 510 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,530 - Actually, make it a flat-head. - Actually, make it a Phillips. 511 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,132 Oh, shit. 512 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:17,568 Look, I know I was kind of a nuisance today. 513 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,203 I know it's my fault we hit the deer. 514 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,639 And I know you wanted to be the one to save it. 515 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,141 Whatever. 516 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,576 How petty would I have to be to care less 517 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,745 about an animal's life than my own ego? 518 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:30,848 Well, you'd have to be pretty petty. 519 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,217 But you'd still be the woman I married. 520 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,420 [ Car rattles ] Where are we going? 521 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,655 One last stop. 522 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,224 [ Tires squeal ] 523 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,193 Where's the helicopter? 524 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,694 There is no helicopter. 525 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,064 And there is no cervine institute. 526 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,832 But the top deer surgeon... 527 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,033 I'm looking at her. 528 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,568 Thanks for teeing me up like that. 529 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,103 You better get moving. 530 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,038 These lights are designed for basic ice-cream work. 531 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,440 They're not gonna last all night. 532 00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,208 I need five minutes. 533 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,911 [ Upbeat music plays ] 534 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:31,576 Jerry, this was the most romantic weekend I've ever had. 535 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,811 Thanks to cold stone creamery. 536 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,713 You're welcome. 537 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,248 Rick: Okay, collars are done. Put them on. 538 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,717 We're out of time. It's ironic, huh? 539 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,385 [ Beeping ] 540 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,987 Huh? Wait a minute. 541 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,489 - Great. - Rick! 542 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,723 What's going on? 543 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,091 The collar. Oh, the latch is broken. 544 00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,459 It won't latch closed around my neck. 545 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,595 - Oh, are you kidding me? - Geez, what's going on? 546 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,963 How come our collars aren't green? 547 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,598 Obviously because someone doesn't know how to put 548 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,733 his collar on, and one of me is stuck trying to help him. 549 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:58,236 Don't blame this on me. You're the one that couldn't fix a latch. 550 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,104 What are you talking about? It's not broken, morty. 551 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,139 I fixed it. Just put it on. 552 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,907 It won't close. It's broken. 553 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,642 Fine, bring it here. 554 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,277 [ Groans ] Oh! 555 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,745 - Rick! - Morty! 556 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,080 [ Screams ] 557 00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:10,648 Oh, really, morty? Well, I'm sorry. 558 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,251 I'm not the one who's so [Bleep] uncertain about everything. 559 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:14,919 You know what I'm certain of, Rick? 560 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,587 I've really made up my mind about this. 561 00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,022 I never want to see you again! 562 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,491 You're never gonna see anything again, you little dummy! 563 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,659 You killed us! 564 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,428 God damn it. [ Grunts ] 565 00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:24,930 ♪♪ 566 00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,668 Rick! Oh! 567 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,170 Morty, where's your collar? I'll fix it. 568 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,338 I dropped it. 569 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,606 [ Beeping ] 570 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:38,442 What the hell? What have you done to me, morty? 571 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,346 I'm okay with this. Be good, morty. 572 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:45,883 Be better than me. 573 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,552 Oh [Bleep] the other collar! 574 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,887 I'm not okay with this. I am not okay with this! 575 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,355 Oh, sweet Jesus, please let me live. 576 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,691 Oh, my God, I have to... I've got to fix this thing. 577 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,560 Please, God in heaven. Please, God. 578 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:56,861 Oh, lord, hear my prayers. 579 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,863 [ Collar beeps ] Yes! [Bleep] You, God! 580 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,464 Not today, bitch! 581 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:03,668 Please, God, if there's a hell, please be merciful to me. 582 00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,303 [ Collar beeps ] 583 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,805 Yes, I did it! There is no God! 584 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,373 In your face! 585 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,841 One dot, mother[Bleep] 586 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,177 Yes! Oh, yes! 587 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,879 All right, you know what I'm talking about. 588 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,314 - Oh, that was a close call. - Oh, yeah! 589 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,882 I'm gonna do the cabbage patch, morty. 590 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,150 - Oh, yeah, do it. - Check me out. 591 00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:20,384 I'm doing the cabbage patch. 592 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,986 - Do it right. - I'm doing it, too. 593 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,387 - Do the cabbage patch. - It's a classic dance. 594 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,223 - Do it. Do the dance. - Oh [Bleep] look at that. 595 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,358 Hey, wait a second, how come you guys took longer to get here? 596 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,661 I don't know. I think, like, 1/64 of my collars didn't work. 597 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,096 It's hard to keep straight now 598 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,599 that I have 63 other memories of everything. 599 00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:35,833 Yeah. 600 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,602 But I feel like one of the 64 ricks, 601 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,103 like, sacrificed himself for me? 602 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,606 - Maybe? I think? - Shut up, morty. 603 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,408 The last time you felt something, we all almost died. 604 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:45,676 You little piece of shit. 605 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,044 Beth: Hey, guys, we're home. 606 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,412 Together: Mom! Dad! 607 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,947 Uh, hold the phone. 608 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,383 Where did you guys get those necklaces from? 609 00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,919 Uh, lady gaga, table for three. Am I right? 610 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,121 Are you guys power rangers, 611 00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,856 but only on one small part of you necks? 612 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,291 Hey, do those things need batteries? 613 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,126 Were they included? Cleanup in the fruit aisle. 614 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,128 Not in a homophobic way, though. 615 00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,430 They're just fruity necklaces is what I was saying. I'm gonna pee my pants! 616 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,933 Somebody call the planet of "tron"! Doesn't feel so good, does it? 617 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,769 We have three "tron" people over here. No, it doesn't. It hurts. 618 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,871 Seriously, are these Halloween costumes? 619 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,273 Are you going as motorcycles 620 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,742 with green headlights instead of normal ones? 621 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,644 Are you dogs? Robot dogs? [ Laughs ] 622 00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:21,279 Gosh, you guys are lame. 623 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,414 Are those chokers from the '90s? 624 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,783 What is this, a '90s nostalgia thing? 625 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:30,054 Are you guys in that movie "the craft" with fairuza balk? 626 00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:34,158 [ Dramatic electronic music plays ] 627 00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:06,090 [ Warbling ] 628 00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:08,192 Hey, man, when the hell were you? 629 00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:09,794 Looking for you, asshole. 630 00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:11,329 I told you past the dinosaurs. 631 00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:13,798 You know how much time is past the dinosaurs? 632 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:14,999 Half of all time! 633 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,133 Come on, man. It's this way. 634 00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:17,335 - Come on. - Give me that thing. 635 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:18,969 Speed it up. He can't be this far back. 636 00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,772 No, no, there he is. There he is. There he is. 637 00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,106 There he is. Stop, stop. 638 00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:23,541 - So, that's the guy, huh? - Yeah, that's him. 639 00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:25,276 Hey, man. Remember me? 640 00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:27,011 I got something for your ass. [ Grunting ] 641 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:28,946 Don't... mess... with time! 642 00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:31,015 You don't [Bleep] with time! 643 00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,551 Mother[Bleep] 644 00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,686 [ Warbles ] 645 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,188 [ Groans ] 646 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,824 [ German accent ] I will mess with time. 647 00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:42,727 [ Whimpers ] I will mess with time. 648 00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,161 [ Shouting ] 649 00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:45,529 Man: Did you get any of that? 650 00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,965 Man: [ Italian accent ] It's a good show.