1
00:00:27,089 --> 00:00:32,089
Sync & corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:34,970
Principal vagina here.
Don't let the name fool you.
3
00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:37,430
I'm very much in charge
reminding you that tonight
4
00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:39,000
is our annual flu season dance.
5
00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:40,740
I don't know how many
times I have to say this,
6
00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:42,485
but if you have
the flu, stay home.
7
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,400
Hey.
8
00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:45,930
The flu season dance is about
awareness, not celebration.
9
00:00:47,150 --> 00:00:49,000
You don't bring dead babies
to passover.
10
00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:50,530
Okay. Here we go.
11
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,700
Hey, Jessica.
12
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,300
Uh...
13
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,530
What's up, Morty?
14
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:56,199
What are you doing?
15
00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:57,030
Um...
16
00:00:57,050 --> 00:00:58,170
Wait, wait.
17
00:00:58,190 --> 00:01:00,129
Were you about to talk... to her?
18
00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:02,900
Well... I mean, I was
thinking about it.
19
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,800
Dude, stay in your league.
20
00:01:04,820 --> 00:01:05,970
Look at how hot she is.
21
00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:08,800
You don't see me going to a
bigger school in a wealthier district
22
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,600
and hitting on their
prettiest girl.
23
00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:11,770
Gee, thanks, Brad.
24
00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:13,300
I throw balls far.
25
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:16,530
You want good words?
Date a languager.
26
00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:18,429
Try not to worry about
it, Morty.
27
00:01:18,450 --> 00:01:21,000
You're a good kid, and there's
not a premium on that right now,
28
00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:23,730
but you'll be getting girls
sometime after Brad's out of shape.
29
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,130
You're missing the point, dad.
30
00:01:26,150 --> 00:01:28,830
I don't want girls.
I want Jessica.
31
00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:30,770
Ah, well, I remember
32
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,030
feeling that way about a young
33
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,730
lady named "your mom," and
34
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,030
that's not an urban diss.
35
00:01:35,050 --> 00:01:36,130
Your mom was my Jessica.
36
00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:37,430
I remember the first time I saw
her.
37
00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:38,100
I thought,
38
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,000
"I should get her pregnant, and
then she'll have to marry me."
39
00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,100
I beg your pardon,
Rick. Inappropriate.
40
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,035
Sorry, please proceed
with your story
41
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,730
about banging my
daughter in high school.
42
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:49,370
I'm not sure you want to take
romantic advice from this guy, Morty.
43
00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:51,070
His marriage is hanging from a
thread.
44
00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:52,800
My marriage is fine, thank you.
45
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:53,930
Jerry, it's your
46
00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:55,130
house whatever you say it is
47
00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:56,300
is how it is but I think a
48
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,470
blind man could see that Beth is
looking for the door.
49
00:01:58,490 --> 00:02:00,630
I barely have a reason to care,
and even inoticed.
50
00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:01,770
Come on, Rick!
51
00:02:01,790 --> 00:02:03,300
Don't talk about my parents like
that.
52
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,500
Listen, Morty, I hate to break it
to you, but what people call "love"...
53
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,329
is just a chemical reaction
that compels animals to breed.
54
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,800
It hits hard, Morty, then it
slowly fades,
55
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,970
leaving you stranded
in a failing marriage.
56
00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:16,000
I did it.
Your parents are gonna do it.
57
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:17,100
Break the cycle, Morty.
58
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,630
Rise above. Focus on science.
59
00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:23,930
All right, well, I'm gonna go
get dressed for the dance.
60
00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:27,470
Yeah, I'm just going
to... check on your mom.
61
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:32,800
Morty, hand me that
screwdriver, huh?
62
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,930
I'm almost finished making my
ionic defibulizer, Morty.
63
00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:36,030
It's gonna be great.
64
00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:37,270
Hey, listen, Rick.
65
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,799
You know how you said that,
66
00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:41,130
you know, love is a chemical and
all that stuff from earlier?
67
00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:42,270
Well, I was thinking, you know,
68
00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:45,029
could you make some
sort of chemical thing
69
00:02:45,050 --> 00:02:46,700
happen inside of Jessica's
mind, you know,
70
00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:49,430
so where she falls in love with me
and all that sort of thing?
71
00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:50,300
You know, like, maybe make some
72
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,830
sort of love potion or
something?
73
00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:53,530
Morty, that's such a
poor use of my time.
74
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:55,370
It's beneath me.
Hand me the screwdriver.
75
00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:57,070
You know what?
No, Rick!
76
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,830
I'm not gonna hand you the
screwdriver.
77
00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:01,030
I'm not gonna hand you
anything ever again, Rick!
78
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,769
I'm always helping you with this
and that and the other thing.
79
00:03:03,790 --> 00:03:05,799
What about me, Rick?
80
00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:08,900
Why can't you just help
me out once once for once?
81
00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:11,200
You're growing up fast, Morty.
82
00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:14,070
You're growing into a real big
thorn straight up into my ass.
83
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,730
Listen, this is called oxytocin.
I extracted it from a vole.
84
00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:19,670
Do you know what a vole is,
Morty?
85
00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:20,730
You know what a vole is?
86
00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:22,930
It's a it's a rodent that
mates for life, Morty.
87
00:03:22,950 --> 00:03:25,000
This is the chemical released
in a mammal's brain,
88
00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:26,470
you know, that
makes it fall in love.
89
00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:29,330
All right, Morty, I just got to
combine it with some of your DNA.
90
00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:30,230
Oh, well, okay.
91
00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:33,370
A hair, Morty.
I need one of your hairs.
92
00:03:33,390 --> 00:03:35,670
- This isn't "game of thrones."
- Ow!
93
00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:36,970
All right, Morty.
94
00:03:36,990 --> 00:03:39,230
Whoever you smear this stuff on
will fall in love with you,
95
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:40,770
and only you, forever.
96
00:03:40,790 --> 00:03:42,870
- Are you happy now, Morty?
- Heck, yeah!
97
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,270
Thank you, grandpa Rick.
98
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,260
Hey, there's no... dangers or
anything, or side effects, right?
99
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,300
What am I, a hack?
100
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,869
Go nuts, Morty. It's foolproof.
101
00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:56,070
Eh, unless she has the flu.
102
00:03:57,190 --> 00:04:01,530
- Beth, do you still love me?
- Ugh, what kind of question is that?
103
00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:03,270
The "yes or no" kind?
104
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,230
Jerry, do you want
homeless people to have homes?
105
00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:07,900
- Yes.
- Are you gonna build them?
106
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,769
- No.
- Then what good was the "yes"?
107
00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:13,730
Wait, is loving me the house
or the homeless people?
108
00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:17,470
Loving you is work,
Jerry hard work,
109
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,970
like building a homeless shelter
nobody wants to say no to doing it,
110
00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:22,299
but some people put the work in.
111
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,000
So, what do you say?
Do you see me working here?
112
00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:27,530
Does this conversation seem
tedious to me?
113
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:28,730
Sort of.
114
00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:30,830
Then I obviously sort
of love you, don't I?
115
00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:33,000
So stop asking, and maybe I'll
love you more.
116
00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,800
Crap, they need me at the horse
hospital.
117
00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:37,070
This late?
118
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:39,170
The racetrack had a
starlight derby.
119
00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:42,990
There was a seven-horse collision,
and Davin's there alone.
120
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,570
Davin.
121
00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:46,830
Davin! Davin.
122
00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:49,170
Davin! Davin!
123
00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:52,030
Davin! Davin!
124
00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:53,970
♪ Flu, yo ♪
♪ you got to be aware ♪
125
00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:56,470
♪ aware of all the flu ♪
♪ up in the air ♪
126
00:04:56,490 --> 00:04:58,430
♪ I'm-a get me a shot ♪
♪ and make the flu go away ♪
127
00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:01,430
♪ flu-hating rapper ♪
♪ just rapping away ♪
128
00:05:01,450 --> 00:05:04,500
♪ yo, yo, flu-hating rapper ♪
♪ it's a flu-hating rapper ♪
129
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:05,900
Hey, there, Jessica.
130
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,730
Whoa! Oh, whoopsie!
131
00:05:09,150 --> 00:05:10,169
Oh, my God.
132
00:05:10,190 --> 00:05:11,930
Morty.
133
00:05:11,950 --> 00:05:13,930
You look really nice tonight.
134
00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,500
Wow, thanks.
135
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,600
I love you, Morty!
136
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,770
I love you so much it burns!
137
00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:20,300
Oh, man!
138
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,330
I love you too, Jessica!
139
00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:25,070
Is this punk bothering you,
Jessica?
140
00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:26,330
Leave him alone, jerk!
141
00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:27,970
I'm in love with him!
142
00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:29,570
He is more man than you will
ever be!
143
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,500
♪ This is about ♪
♪ flu awareness ♪
144
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,200
♪ got to be aware of the flu in ♪
♪ the air-ness ♪
145
00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:37,200
♪ yo, I'm a flu-hating rapper ♪
146
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,870
Oh, man, Morty.
147
00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:41,170
I'm really sorry.
148
00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:43,670
Oh, well, no problem, Brad.
149
00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:46,370
There's something special
about you, Morty so special.
150
00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:48,530
- Mmm, yeah.
- Whoa, take it easy!
151
00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:49,730
Get your hands off of him!
152
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,030
- Back off!
- I'm trying to be with my man!
153
00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:53,130
That's enough, Bradley!
154
00:05:53,150 --> 00:05:54,800
We don't want you injuring your
ball-throwing arm.
155
00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,300
Oh, come on, principal Vagina.
156
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:58,230
Never leave me, Morty.
Never!
157
00:05:58,250 --> 00:05:59,830
Uh, sure.
158
00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:01,500
I mean, of course not.
159
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,270
What do you think that was all
about?
160
00:06:04,290 --> 00:06:05,670
Who cares? Just hold me.
161
00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:08,170
Let me go! I love you, Morty!
162
00:06:09,090 --> 00:06:10,230
Let go of me!
163
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,070
Morty!
164
00:06:18,090 --> 00:06:20,430
She's gonna be alone
with that guy all night.
165
00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:22,900
Yeah, dad, digging
around the insides of horses.
166
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,230
It's not a very
romantic setting.
167
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,177
Well, Summer, there's
always the possibility
168
00:06:26,203 --> 00:06:27,685
that she made the
whole work thing up.
169
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,000
Maybe Davin's digging
around in her insides.
170
00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:32,430
Grandpa, so gross!
You're talking about my mom.
171
00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:34,200
Well, she's my daughter, Summer.
172
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,230
I outrank you.
173
00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:38,100
Or family means nothing, in
which case don't play that card.
174
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,070
She's not responding
to my texts!
175
00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:41,230
Careful, dad.
176
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,330
Jealousy turns women off.
177
00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:44,230
Well, isn't that convenient?
178
00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,470
Not for the men they
cheat on, no.
179
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:50,000
Okay, I'm... going to
go out... for some ice cream.
180
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:53,470
And maybe stop by the
hospital... to support my wife...
181
00:06:53,490 --> 00:06:54,730
with my confidence.
182
00:06:55,990 --> 00:06:59,270
- God, grandpa, you're such a dick.
- I'm sorry, Summer.
183
00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:00,900
Your opinion means very little
to me.
184
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,370
How come you're not at this stupid
dance everyone loves so much?
185
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,330
Screw that.
I don't want to get sick.
186
00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:06,929
- It's flu season.
- It is?
187
00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:08,900
- Yeah.
- Uh-oh.
188
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,200
Please just let this work out.
189
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:19,200
Do it, Morty. Do it.
190
00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,700
Rip my clothes off and mate with
me for life!
191
00:07:22,420 --> 00:07:23,630
Um...
192
00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:26,070
Can we maybe go
somewhere more private?
193
00:07:26,090 --> 00:07:28,130
Jessica, get a hold of yourself!
194
00:07:29,590 --> 00:07:32,470
You don't deserve to carry
Morty's genes.
195
00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:37,130
♪ I love Morty ♪
♪ and I hope Morty loves me ♪
196
00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:40,370
♪ I'd like to wrap my arms ♪
♪ around him ♪
197
00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:42,169
♪ and feel him inside me ♪
198
00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:43,570
Oh, crap.
199
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:48,300
Morty!
200
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:51,200
Morty, come on!
We got to get you out of here.
201
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,458
You're not gonna believe this,
202
00:07:52,483 --> 00:07:55,249
because it usually never happens,
but I made a mistake.
203
00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:57,870
Come on, Morty.
We got to get out of here.
204
00:07:57,890 --> 00:07:58,800
Morty!
205
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,330
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine!
206
00:08:00,350 --> 00:08:01,300
Oh, good.
207
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,070
If anything ever happened to
you, I would kill myself.
208
00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:05,970
I love you bad, mo-mo!
209
00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:12,370
Morty, the principal and I
have discussed it,
210
00:08:12,390 --> 00:08:15,730
and we're both insecure enough
to agree to a three-way!
211
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,670
I didn't realize when
I gave you that serum
212
00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,070
that Jessica had
the flu, you know,
213
00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:25,600
that might have been valuable
information for me, Morty.
214
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,300
What the hell is going on, Rick?
215
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,430
What does it look like?
216
00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:30,530
The serum is piggybacking
on the virus.
217
00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:32,100
It's gone airborne, Morty.
218
00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:34,730
Oh, crap.
What are we gonna do, Rick?
219
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:35,899
It's gonna be fine,
Morty, relax.
220
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,100
I whipped up and antidote.
221
00:08:37,119 --> 00:08:39,229
It's based on praying-mantis
222
00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:41,800
You know, praying mantises are the
exact opposite of voles, Morty.
223
00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:43,970
I mean, they they mate once, and then
they, you know,
224
00:08:43,995 --> 00:08:46,130
...decapitate the partner.
I mean, it's a whole ritual.
225
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,130
It's really gruesome and totally
opposite.
226
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:49,270
There's no love at all.
227
00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:52,100
I basically mixed this with
a more contagious flu virus.
228
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,670
It should neutralize the whole
thing, Morty.
229
00:08:54,690 --> 00:08:56,630
It'll all be over very shortly.
230
00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:59,655
Morty!
231
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,600
Uh, by the way, Morty, I know
you didn't ask or anything, but...
232
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:05,300
I'm not interested in having sex
with you.
233
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,370
These serums, they don't work on
anybody related to you genetically.
234
00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:10,730
Morty!
235
00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:26,430
Okay, well, sometimes, science
is more art than science, Morty.
236
00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:27,970
A lot of people don't get that.
237
00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:37,200
Come on. Are you kidding me?
238
00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:38,130
Hello!
239
00:09:38,150 --> 00:09:40,170
Morty!
240
00:09:40,190 --> 00:09:41,270
You're not Morty!
241
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,100
Bring us Morty!
242
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:56,670
Nobody's killing me until after I
catch my wife with another man.
243
00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:58,699
I had sex with Billy.
244
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,530
But you were already pregnant!
245
00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:02,800
Yeah, so what's the worst
that could happen?
246
00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:05,400
We interrupt "pregnant baby"
with breaking news.
247
00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:06,900
Come on.
248
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,970
This just in; Morty Smith's
whereabouts are still unknown.
249
00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:11,100
What the hell?
250
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,830
The only thing that is known
is... how cute he is.
251
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:18,070
I love him so much, I want to make
love to him and then eat his head.
252
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:20,600
I love him more than you do,
Harold!
253
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,169
You wish, you stupid bitch!
254
00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:23,200
Morty's mine!
255
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:24,370
Morty's mine!
256
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,569
Meant to be together!
257
00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:28,300
Morty!
258
00:10:34,820 --> 00:10:36,570
Where is Morty?
259
00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:53,130
Oh, my God, Rick.
The whole world is infected!
260
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:55,630
Yeah, it's pretty wild
how fast that spread.
261
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:56,770
I've really outdone myself.
262
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:57,970
Outdone yourself?!
263
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,630
Are you kidding me, Rick?
264
00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:00,800
This is not okay!
265
00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:03,000
Not only do they all want to
have sex with me,
266
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:05,100
but, you know, now they
want to eat me afterwards!
267
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,700
Yeah, I don't know what
I was thinking.
268
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,400
Mantises are they
opposite of voles?
269
00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:11,400
I mean, obviously, DNA's a little
more complicated than that.
270
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,580
You know what, though, Morty?
271
00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:14,270
This right here's gonna do the
trick, baby.
272
00:11:14,290 --> 00:11:17,429
It's koala mixed with
rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus,
273
00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:21,000
shark, golden retriever, and
just a smidge of dinosaur.
274
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:22,530
Should add up to normal
humanity.
275
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,670
That doesn't make
any sense, Rick.
276
00:11:24,690 --> 00:11:26,500
How does that add up to normal
humanity?
277
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,400
What, Morty, you want
me to show you my math?
278
00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:30,138
I'm sorry are you the scientist
279
00:11:30,164 --> 00:11:31,895
or are you the kid that
wanted to get laid?
280
00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:36,896
Well, I'm glad we saved
all those horses,
281
00:11:36,922 --> 00:11:38,699
but I'm almost sorry
we're finished.
282
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,570
Yes, it's satisfying work.
283
00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:43,070
Unh-unh-unh, it's, uh
it's more than the work.
284
00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:47,570
I love being in that sterilized
room, sealed off from the world.
285
00:11:47,590 --> 00:11:50,170
It's the only time I can really
think... and feel.
286
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,430
Hmm, uh, what are you doing?
287
00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:55,700
I'm playing African dream pop.
288
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,500
What do you do after
a long night?
289
00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:01,870
Oh, ha, um, hey,
I'd better get going.
290
00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:04,270
Um, Jerry's been texting some
pretty high-maintenance stuff.
291
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,070
Beth...
292
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:06,030
What is it, Davin?
293
00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:09,200
Just once, I'd like to know...
294
00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:13,430
...what it was like to give
your son a bath.
295
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:14,830
What?!
296
00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:18,370
What does Morty's
skin smell like?
297
00:12:18,390 --> 00:12:19,669
How soft...
298
00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:23,370
How soft are his privates?
299
00:12:23,390 --> 00:12:25,070
Let go of me, Davin!
300
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,529
Take me to Morty.
301
00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:36,200
You're not Morty.
302
00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:37,430
No.
303
00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:43,770
I'm Mr. Crowbar, and this is my
friend, who is also a crowbar.
304
00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:45,670
That's... stupid.
305
00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:49,700
Yeah?
306
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,429
Well, look where
being smart got you.
307
00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:53,230
Jerry! Thank God!
308
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,530
God?
309
00:12:54,550 --> 00:12:57,900
God's turning people into insect
monsters, Beth.
310
00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,770
I'm the one beating
them to death.
311
00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:00,800
Thank me.
312
00:13:00,820 --> 00:13:02,200
Thank you, Jerry.
313
00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:04,200
Thank you.
314
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,530
Take a good look down
there, Morty, and soak it in,
315
00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:13,470
because, you know, once I pull this
lever, it's all back to normal.
316
00:13:13,490 --> 00:13:14,669
Just do it already.
317
00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:16,830
Well, technically, Morty,
there's no rush.
318
00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:18,610
I mean, you know, once it's
fixed, it's done.
319
00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:19,570
It's fixed.
320
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,500
You know, we could we could
just enjoy it for a little bit.
321
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,030
I mean, look at how crazy it is.
322
00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:25,270
I mean, Morty,
323
00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:27,370
when's the next time you're gonna see
something like this?
324
00:13:27,490 --> 00:13:30,030
I mean, soak it in, you know?
It's it's pretty neat.
325
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:31,370
- It's pretty interesting.
- That's it, Rick!
326
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:32,669
I'm pulling the lever.
327
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,600
What do we have here, Morty?
328
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,730
Looks like I was right and you
were wrong, huh?
329
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:45,360
I bet you feel pretty stupid
right about now, huh?
330
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,700
I bet you feel like the
world's smallest man
331
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,970
that you were doubting me
about this whole thing, Morty.
332
00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:51,670
Oh, Rick, something's not right.
333
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:53,470
Yeah, you.
334
00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:55,400
- You're not right ever.
- No, no!
335
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,600
Look, you idiot!
336
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,770
Bet you're loving this, Morty.
337
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:24,800
This must be the best day of
your life.
338
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,470
You get to be the mayor of
"I told you" town.
339
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:29,530
You're welcome.
340
00:14:39,490 --> 00:14:40,530
Hold on.
341
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,470
I wish that shotgun
was my penis.
342
00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:05,470
If it were, you could
call me Ernest Hemingway.
343
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:08,030
I don't get it, and I
don't need to.
344
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,430
Mom! Dad!
345
00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:13,700
- Summer!
- Summer!
346
00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:17,370
- Where's Morty?
- I don't know.
347
00:15:17,390 --> 00:15:19,430
Do you think grandpa Rick had
something to do with this?
348
00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:21,230
It's not fair to
assume that, Summer.
349
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,400
Oh, not fair?
Give me a break.
350
00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:26,970
He is a selfish, irresponsible
ass, and he left my mother.
351
00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:29,770
A real man stands by his woman.
352
00:15:35,290 --> 00:15:37,430
Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo.
353
00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:40,430
Boy, Morty, I really cronenberged
the world up, didn't I?
354
00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:42,170
We got a whole planet
of cronenbergs
355
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:43,670
walking around down
there, Morty.
356
00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:45,810
At least they're not in love
with you anymore, though.
357
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,400
That's a huge step in the right
direction.
358
00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:48,330
Oh, my God!
359
00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:49,570
It's a living nightmare!
360
00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:51,970
How could you be so
irresponsible, Rick?
361
00:15:51,990 --> 00:15:53,630
Me irresponsible?!
362
00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:56,589
All I wanted you to do was
hand me a screwdriver, Morty!
363
00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:57,900
You're the one who wanted me
364
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,600
to buckle down
and make you up a... roofie-juice
365
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:04,930
serum so you could roofie that
poor girl at your school.
366
00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:07,970
I mean, are you kidding me, Morty?
367
00:16:07,990 --> 00:16:10,000
You're gonna try to take the
high road on this one?
368
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:11,629
You're a little creep, Morty.
369
00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:14,370
You're you're just a little
creepy... creep person.
370
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,429
All right, fine.
371
00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:18,030
I should have just listened to you
when you refused to make the serum.
372
00:16:18,050 --> 00:16:20,331
I'm willing to accept my part of
the blame for this, Rick.
373
00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:21,930
But I'll tell you something
you know what?
374
00:16:21,950 --> 00:16:23,900
You got to accept your part of
the blame!
375
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,830
I'm not the one who fouled up
the serum!
376
00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:28,530
I'm not the one who
haphazardly, you know,
377
00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:31,830
mixed a bunch of nonsense together
and created a bunch of cronenbergs!
378
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:32,900
You got to fix this, Rick!
379
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,430
All right, all right, Morty.
380
00:16:34,450 --> 00:16:36,870
You know, we are in a
pretty deep hole, here,
381
00:16:36,890 --> 00:16:39,630
but I do have one emergency solution that
I can use that'll kind of put
382
00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:41,900
everything back to normal,
relatively speaking.
383
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,200
Here, Morty, put this on while I
do a little bit of scouting.
384
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,200
Wow, Rick, I got to say,
385
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,630
you really pulled a rabbit
out of your hat this time.
386
00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:04,969
I mean, I really thought
that the whole place
387
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,900
was gonna be
messed up for good, but here,
388
00:17:06,919 --> 00:17:10,630
you did it... you figured out that
crazy solution, like you always do.
389
00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:12,570
Whoo!
That's some great luck.
390
00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:13,830
Come on, Morty.
391
00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,030
Luck had nothing to do with it.
392
00:17:15,050 --> 00:17:18,370
I'm great.
That's the real reason.
393
00:17:18,390 --> 00:17:20,030
Now, Morty, what do you say,
buddy?
394
00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:21,600
Will you hand me a screwdriver
395
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,669
so I can finish my ionic dis
defibulizer?
396
00:17:23,689 --> 00:17:24,830
Sure thing, Rick.
397
00:17:24,850 --> 00:17:25,970
Here's a screwdriver.
398
00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:27,330
All right, Morty.
399
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:28,570
Thank you very much.
400
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:32,670
We got one screw turn... and two
screw turns... and...
401
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,030
All right, Morty, here we are.
402
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,370
Oh, my God, Rick!
403
00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:41,470
Is that us?!
404
00:17:41,490 --> 00:17:42,570
We're dead!
405
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:44,330
What is going on, Rick?
I'm freaking out!
406
00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:45,400
Calm down, Morty!
407
00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:46,529
Look at me! Calm down, Morty!
408
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:48,000
No, I can't deal with this!
409
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,670
- Calm yourself, Morty.
- I can't deal with this, Rick!
410
00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:52,800
- Calm down, Morty.
- This can't be real!
411
00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:54,430
You got to calm down, Morty.
412
00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:55,770
We're ripped apart!
413
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:57,470
Shut up and listen to me!
414
00:17:57,490 --> 00:17:58,800
It's fine. Everything is fine.
415
00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:01,400
There's an infinite number of
realities, Morty,
416
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,170
and in a few dozen of
those, I got lucky and
417
00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:04,400
turned everything back to
normal.
418
00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:06,170
I just had to find one
of those realities
419
00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:08,530
in which we also happen
to both die around this time.
420
00:18:08,550 --> 00:18:09,900
Now we can just slip into the
421
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,470
place of our dead selves in this
422
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,300
reality and everything will be
fine.
423
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,870
We're not skipping a beat,
Morty.
424
00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:16,930
- Now, help me with these bodies.
- This is insane.
425
00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:19,370
Look, Morty, I'll grab
myself, you grab yourself, okay?
426
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,170
I mean, that seems
fair to me I mean,
427
00:18:21,190 --> 00:18:22,729
that seems like a
fair way to divvy it up.
428
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,870
Rick, what about the
reality we left behind?
429
00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:27,600
What about the reality where
Hitler cured cancer, Morty?
430
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:29,070
The answer is don't
think about it.
431
00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:31,300
It's not like we can do this
every week, anyways.
432
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,970
We get three or four more of
these, tops.
433
00:18:32,990 --> 00:18:34,530
Now, pick up your dead self and
come on.
434
00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:35,830
Haste makes waste.
435
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,430
I don't suppose you've
considered this detail,
436
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,900
but obviously, if I hadn't screwed
up as much as I did,
437
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,230
we'd be these guys right now,
so, again, you're welcome.
438
00:18:47,850 --> 00:18:54,770
♪ Look on down from the bridge ♪
439
00:18:54,790 --> 00:19:02,790
♪ there's still fountains down there ♪
440
00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:10,700
♪ look on down from the bridge ♪
441
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:18,720
♪ it's still raining up here ♪
442
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:28,500
♪ everybody seems so ♪
♪ far away from me ♪
443
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:36,370
♪ everybody just ♪
♪ wants to be free ♪
444
00:19:36,390 --> 00:19:42,400
♪ look away from the sky ♪
445
00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:48,430
♪ it's no different when you're ♪
♪ leaving home ♪
446
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:57,870
♪ I can't be the same ♪
♪ thing to you now ♪
447
00:19:57,890 --> 00:20:02,518
♪ I'm just gone ♪
448
00:20:02,644 --> 00:20:07,130
♪ just gone ♪
449
00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:15,730
♪ how could I say goodbye? ♪
450
00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:19,270
♪ How could I say goodbye? ♪
451
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,530
You know, the thing
about a shark...
452
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:28,530
He's got lifeless eyes...
black eyes, like a doll's eyes.
453
00:20:28,550 --> 00:20:32,830
When he comes at ya, he doesn't
seem to be living until he bites ya,
454
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:35,670
and then the the blood,
and the red, and the water...
455
00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:38,069
You ever wonder what happened to
Rick and Morty?
456
00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:39,700
Sometimes.
457
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:46,270
But, I'm ashamed to admit, now that
they're gone, I'm finally happy.
458
00:20:47,790 --> 00:20:49,600
Here we are, cronenberg Morty,
459
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:52,530
a reality where everyone in the world got
genetically cronenberged.
460
00:20:52,550 --> 00:20:54,570
We'll fit right in,
cronenberg Morty.
461
00:20:54,590 --> 00:20:56,630
It'll be like we never even left
cronenberg world.
462
00:20:56,650 --> 00:20:59,730
Yeah, cronenberg Rick, but, you know,
I'm gonna miss cronenberg world,
463
00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:01,670
because everyone was
cronenberged all along
464
00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:03,200
like us from the
beginning, you know?
465
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,700
I mean, I wish we hadn't
genetically ruined cronenberg world
466
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,200
beyond repair like we did,
you know, and turned everyone
467
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:10,630
into regular, normal people just
walking around.
468
00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:14,030
Don't you worry about that sort
of thing, cronenberg Morty.
469
00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:16,320
Let's go make ourselves at home,
huh?
470
00:21:17,055 --> 00:21:22,055
Sync & corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com