Previously, on Southern Charm...
It's tough to not think about Audrey right now.
I just feel like it had to happen.
As Austen was nursing a broken heart,
Salley decided to make her move.
Salley, down dog.
But not everyone got the memo.
Until he finally fessed up to Shep.
Are you single right now?
Yeah, we're broken up.
Meanwhile, Craig and Charley's
relationship set sail...
This is me on a canoe, with a guy that I like.
MADISON:...but Salley and Venita's
was like a sinking ship.
You've put me in a lot of sh-- that I'm actually not in,
and it's crazy to me.
That's weird, because I feel the exact same way.
You tell me information, and then I'm your scapegoat.
And it just really felt like you were just, like,
trying to pin us against each other.
Venita, like, if you keep walking away...
I'm good, I'm good, I'm so good, I'm so good.
...every time, our sh--'s never gonna be ----ing settled.
And when we got back to Charleston,
it turned out the only thing about to pop was me.
What are you doing?
Okay.
♪ Bop bah doo Mm-hmm! ♪
Oh, this shirt is so good.
These.
- Yo. - Hi. How you doing?
You-- You have caught me in the middle of unpacking.
I know, Miss Girl.
Listen, they are clean creatures, okay?
And we can learn a thing or two.
Um, so, what's up?
What?
Oh, my God.
When did she go in?
Today's the day we're having our baby.
We are two hours out before C-section.
Hudson, can you believe
that you're gonna be a big brother in just two hours?
What are you most excited about?
- All of it. -Aww!
I low-key love this.
It's just, like, real happiness for her.
You're not the only baby, Piper.
Is that in the cards for us, Venita?
Yeah.
Babies in general, girl.
You know, with me and Madison,
it's kind of just interesting to see
how our lives have, you know, progressed,
and if we're being honest,
I'm just glad that she's getting something
that I don't know if I was ever ready for,
or ever would have been able to give her.
It just really puts into perspective
on, like, she's where she's supposed to be,
and I'm at square one of just, like, being single again,
being kind of lost, I don't know, being an idiot.
So, what's the plan?
Are you gonna, like, go to the hospital, or...?
Yeah.
I'm glad that you said that,
because I would have texted somebody.
I just feel like a lot of sh-- has been tangled,
and repeated.
- Ooh. - And it just really felt like
you were just, like, trying to pin us against each other.
- Sorry. -Venita.
I can tell that she wants to say something, and she's not.
I don't have anything else to say.
I at least hope that it's not, like,
a friendship-ender for you guys.
Yeah.
I'm really hurt by someone I consider to be a best friend.
I have never publicly put Salley in a position
to be humiliated.
110%.
Yeah.
Yes.
Damn.
Hmm, let's see, what do I need?
Oh, my salad dressing.
My brand-new shirt.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Hi!
- Hey. - Hello.
I can't. I have no arms to hug you.
Are you gonna be okay if I forgot the lyrics?
Keith, don't ----ing do that to me.
My blood pressure just spiked.
You're the worst.
Doing an open mic night is a million times scarier to me
than playing euphonium.
Because there's a buffer of a huge band,
versus just me,
and that terrifies me.
Let's just hope my voice doesn't shut down
when I get more nervous than this.
You'll be fine.
-Hi, how are you? -Hi, how are you?
- How are you? Hey! - Hey!
- How are you? - Good, how are you?
- Good to see you. - Good to see you.
Goddamn it, I never bring gifts.
Craig, he brought a hostess gift.
- Can't show up empty-handed. - How lovely.
-It can be from us. -Can I have a flower?
Yeah. Just take her one flower from my bouquet.
Hey.
Hey, I was hoping you'd be here.
- I decided to pop in. - Good. What are you drinking?
- I'll have a beer. - You want a Pilsner?
Yeah, actually, that sounds good.
- What do you got? - Pils.
- No. - Is this the kind of bar
where someone should yell, "Norm!"
- Good to see you. - Hey, buddy.
- Who else is coming tonight? - So, I think it's just us.
Are you excited to sing?
Well, that was sweet of her.
Well, I hope he--
I mean look, Austen is going through a lot.
Life is not easy for him right now.
- We all know that. - Yeah.
I want to get Austen and Craig together
and try to be like a salve.
I feel bad about Austen's dinner.
And how it went horribly wrong.
Austen hates me.
Yes, I do ----ing hate you.
- Apologize to Craig. - Apologize now.
- No. - No?
What do you mean, no?
I think we should all go down to Mexico.
Oh, hot-- Olé!
- Olé! - Arriba, arriba!
- These are your people. - Yeah.
I want Craig and Austen to be friends
and-- and bridge their gap,
because friends are hard to come by.
That's a great thing, helping him get out of that.
He's in a very vulnerable place.
If anything, I'm there to help and support
and uplift, like, for the most part,
because, you know, I was talking to him last week
and he was like, "Rod, you don't have to gas me up."
I was like, no, I mean what I am saying to you.
I'll gas him up.
Leave that to me.
Yeah, you'll gas him up.
Rod!
Oh, her parents.
I can't believe she's doing this.
She wouldn't even sing for us.
We should go say hi.
We met them briefly at Molly's concert.
- Yeah. - Hey, everybody.
Hi, Shep. How are you?
- Good to see you. - Hey, Shep. How you doing?
-Doing well, thank you. - Nice to see you.
This is Dean, do you know Dean? Molly's ex-roommate.
- Hey. Nice to see you. - This is Shep's M.O.,
his M.O. is to go and schmooze the parents.
Do you think that they feel weird?
He's like, "Hey, I ----ed your daughter."
No, that's what I was gonna say!
Molly's been texting me. She's nervous.
Oh, she's a wreck.
Oh, wow!
This is the worst thing I've-- this is the worst idea
I've ever had in my life.
Hey!
Hey! Oh, my God.
Hey, look. Oh, my God. You and Tyler are what?
-Good luck, baby! - Tyler and Molly are matching.
-Oh, my God. - Love you.
- I love you. - Go up there,
and kill it, bitch.
- She's in her head. - She is in her head.
She's in the zone. Like, she's in the zone right now.
Check, check.
Are we starting now?
- Oh, my God. - Rock on, Molly.
I want to thank Molly for doing these songs.
I want to thank you for forcing me to do this,
and giving me the songs to sing.
This has been a long time coming.
- You know that, right? - It has.
It has been a very long time. Fifteen years.
Here's the original song.
Oh sh--!
I forgot I have the cowbell on this song.
More cowbell.
-Cowbell! -Woo hoo!
♪ When you left, who begged you to stay ♪
♪ You're shuttered in your presence, no thought or delay ♪
♪ I'm cautiously approaching, day by day ♪
♪ A mental happiness I seem to convey ♪
♪ A little bit of slow walk ♪
♪ Holding back the fast pace ♪
That girl can ----ing sing.
Forget the tuba, keep singing.
♪ No one ♪
I think for Molly, this is proof
that you are a literal boss bitch.
And once you can release those shackles of certain anxieties,
as hard as it may be, like, you're free.
♪ No space ♪
Molly!
Molly! So good.
Oh my God.
It was good. It was really good.
Oh my God!
This is truly one of my biggest fears that I've faced.
It's just yet another thing I've checked off my list now.
So, what else?
What else is there to do?
Children? No, I'm just kidding.
Ugh!
"Free Bird!"
Thank you.
Coming up...
I feel like you're being secretive with me,
because, like, Craig's calling you,
and telling you not to say something.
And he's so mother ----ing calculated, it pisses me off.
Randy, would you grab another pillow?
- From inside? - No, right there, where the--
- Okay. - They should go over here.
You want 'em side-by-side or stagger them a little bit?
Make it apricot, turn it over on the other side.
Both of them or just one?
- Yeah, I like that. - Okay.
- Okay, good, excellent. - That's good.
Oop! Thank you.
Would you like something to drink?
I think some sweet tea would be good.
- Excellent. - With some ice.
You got it, I'll be right back.
- Thank you. -Mm-hmm.
- Howdy. - Hi, honey.
What's on your list there?
Oh, I'm going to Costco because George S. is coming in,
- so I have to get snacks. - Oh, good.
You know, stuff like that. So, tell me what's going on.
I was upstairs talking to Shep about the Mexico trip,
which should be good, you know.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- Did he organize it? - He did, yeah,
for Craig and Austen.
It's basically to experience a mix of adventure,
local culture, and holistic wellness.
Well, the thought of going to Mexico with Craig right now
just doesn't sound like the most fun thing ever,
but we're definitely going to have a Mai Tai by the pool.
The last time I saw him was just at Wit's house,
and we gave each other a ton of space.
But I mean, I always have that itch to be like,
let's go see some different culture for a couple days,
get out of our comfort zone.
So, hopefully this spiritual reawakening
might attune Craig and Austen
to the things that are most important.
Which are friendship, peace in the world--
Don't spout that bullsh-- to me, I know better.
Seems kind of bizarre to me,
but it's not the first thing I've heard
with this group that's bizarre.
Shep professed to have some spirituality,
but it's just all bullsh--.
I mean, he went to Costa Rica and did toad venom,
and he thinks he's, like, a shaman now.
I had a vision of Taylor.
I took her into my nest, and I fed her and nourished her,
and I wanted her to become this majestic bird.
Are you just making all this up?
-No. - Yeah.
I mean... bless his heart.
Well, I think you'll have fun.
Rebalance my chakras.
Yeah, right.
Whatever a chakra is.
Come on, where's your brother?
Boots! Take your time.
Oh! I'm trying to catch you.
Hello?
- Hi! -Hey!
- Hey. - Hey.
Did you work? No, you didn't work today.
My surgery canceled.
I got a colonic right before this.
Wait, what?
They, like, massage you while you're doing it.
That's crazy.
I love them.
That's a crazy thing to say.
I love colonics, I do.
Can you just explain it to me?
Yeah, they just put a lot of water up there, and then...
- And it comes out? - Yeah.
- Where? - Into, like, a tube.
Away.
- Should I get one? - Sure.
- Let's go sit in here. - Okay.
- Hey. - Come here, you little rascals.
They smell like wet dog. Do not lick my face.
It's okay.
By the way, Molly is insane at singing.
I know, I was sad to miss that.
- What did you do? - Um...
I had drinks with Craig again.
This is so not me to even, like, say,
but, like, usually when I'm hanging out with someone,
I can just get a read on them.
And, like, I can't get a read on you.
But, like, I feel like there's just--
I obviously like you.
But in what, like, in what capacity?
I feel like I only see, like, something serious with you.
Wait, so...
Oh.
I mean...
- What? - I feel confused.
Why?
It honestly feels like a slap in the face to our friendship.
I don't know why you didn't tell me.
Yeah, I mean...
I think I've also just really been trying
to figure out my feelings for him, because I haven't--
But even if you were doing that with another guy,
you would tell me.
Usually our friendship is very much open
and honest with each other
about, like, everything we have going on with boys.
Yeah, for sure.
Like, any guy you go on a date with,
you come to me, and you tell me everything,
and all the details, all the time.
And you're like, oh my God, this is how I feel.
- And you unload on me. - Yeah.
And you're silent when it comes to Craig.
Yeah, no, for sure.
I mean, we used to tell each other everything
and talk to each other three times a day.
And now she's like,
ever since she's been doing whatever she's doing with Craig,
she just hasn't spoken to me, like, at all.
And it makes me kind of question our friendship.
I feel like you're being secretive with me
because like Craig's calling you and telling you
not to say something.
He's so mother ----ing calculated.
It pisses me off.
This is why I don't want you to, like...
Yeah, there's nothing to say.
Coming up...
Austen should stand up for himself.
Venita, you don't know anything about me and Austen,
so just off.
Oh, this is so cute.
I'm, like, borrowing my mom's luggage,
since one of my cats peed in mine.
Little demons.
Pack for Mexico.
Pants.
- All right. - You got it?
- Yeah. - She's heavy.
Sh--, girl, what the?
To Mexico.
-Hey. -Hey.
-That's all you got? -Yes.
Okay, listen, don't judge me, okay?
I got a lot of stuff that I gotta take care of, okay?
I don't even own that many things.
- You ready? - So ready.
Those high beams tell me you're ready.
Oh, they're always ready.
Let me get a ticket.
I like to do it the old-fashioned way.
I like having a ticket in my hand.
So cute.
Like, the fact that she already has all that hair.
Hair, I know.
I mean, I guess she was due in August.
- Yeah. - She came early.
Aah!
Jesus Christ.
Oh, I haven't had my morning margarita.
- I need coffee. - I need that.
What's wrong?
Charley.
I just think that there's, like, a lot of,
I don't know, I don't know, I'll tell you later.
Two.
Oh.
Well, that's why we're gonna have fun.
Bye guys, see ya.
Austen's upgraded, I'm not.
Oh boy.
All right, we're walking.
And we're moving, and we're moving.
- Hey! It's me! - Hey!
I love when people hold my name up.
Two vans here.
All right, right here, we're going right here.
Okay!
All right Salley, come in here.
I'm taking this solo seat.
He just wants to be solo, he's just a solo man.
I'm just saying.
All right, old Mexico awaits.
- Toto bien? - Toto bien, sir.
All right, let's go.
Thanks for planning the trip.
- Sir, take me to the pool. - Okay.
-Well, I'm excited. -It's beautiful.
- It's really, really pretty. -It's so beautiful.
All right guys, we're going to this place called Casa Velas.
- A little boutique place. - Cool.
- Hell yeah. - I like that.
I'm hot.
If I don't put on a bathing suit in the next five minutes,
I'm gonna freak the out.
Do you have, like, one of those little tiny ones
that just covers your nips?
Or do you have big nips? I don't know.
I do not have big nipples. Mine are very proportionate.
- Oh, I like that. - I'll show you later.
You know who has the perkiest little tits?
Who?
This one right here, I love him.
- Just, like, ni-ni-ni-ni-ni. - Oh, God.
I mean, I have no intention of doing anything with Salley,
but at the same time, it's kind of endearing
to have someone who's just, like, hitting on you,
and laying it on thick.
Oh, my God.
Here we are, Casa Velas.
- Well done, Shep. - Hola.
- Thank you. - Oh, it's a cold towel.
- Hello, hola. - Hola.
Welcome. Please follow me this way.
Thank you.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Hey.
Venita.
They say that how you dance is how you are in the bedroom.
Aah! Don't go so far!
Shep is like, look at what I can do.
Huh! Done.
I know how to eat salsa.
I just don't know how to dance that way.
What is that?
Thank you.
Okay, so for your stay,
we have reserved the Presidential Suite.
We also have three single Grand Class Suites
and two Ambassador Suites.
- Ambassador! -Wow.
Austen, Craig, me, Rodrigo in Presidential Suite.
- And then? - Uh, Whitner in a single.
- I want a single room. - Okay, single room for you.
I would love a single room if that's okay.
There you go. Then you guys split one?
Perfect.
I mean, I think she should room with Craig
and not tell anyone about it.
Okay, please come with me.
Welcome to your Presidential Suite.
- Wow, it's gorgeous. - All right.
You have a terrace overlooking the whole property.
-Plunge pool. - Good job, Shep.
This is our spot. All right, I have a premonition
that I'm gonna take the room on the right here.
Ah. Si, si, bueno.
-I'll take this room. -All right,
- I'll take this room. - Everything's good.
Hell yeah. This'll ----ing do.
Mm-hmm.
Yay! I love this.
How cute of a room is this?
-Oh, wow. - Wow! This is perfect.
We have a plunge pool and we have two little tanning chairs.
I'm, like, really happy that we're far away from everybody.
I'm not planning on sleeping here.
You're not planning on sleeping here?
If things go according to plan, no, I'm not gonna sleep here.
-Shepard! -Yeah?
What's up? You got a good one?
Yeah, I got the one next to you.
-Look at mine. -You've got a master
in both of these past two trips!
I thought I was gonna be with Sienna in the master!
That was the whole thing.
- Good. - I'll give you some space.
- To change. - More space?
Change and meet me downstairs.
No! Come on, stay up here.
The Bahamas, I was a dead man walking.
You know, I knew it. Everyone else knew it.
- Not this time. - That's not-- Well,
don't count your chickens before they hatch.
No. I'm gonna count 'em.
This year, Shep is on a healing journey,
and it's great to see him and his penis so carefree.
This is really nice. It's quieter, you know?
- I like that. -Where's Shep?
We're just gonna go off-property and do cool things.
They're gonna see you naked in here.
- Hey! - Hey!
Sorry. My ears.
- I also can walk away. - No!
That was-- We're talking about your reaction.
- No, it was so funny. - Oh, this is cool.
Look at the size of that pool bar.
Let's go look at it close.
I'm going to. I'm gonna put my bathing suit on.
Oh, thank you so much.
Could someone see where, like, my luggage is, maybe?
Housekeeping!
- Hey. - Hola.
I think there was some sort of mistake,
which is perfectly okay. Charley!
-Yeah? - Is this your stuff?
Yes, but it's so clearly labeled!
Where's mine?
Wait, why do you think I would have yours?
That's what I thought, it was a mix-up.
I literally don't even care about unpacking.
I just wanna go to the pool.
-Well, thank you. -You're welcome.
-I'm sorry. - That's okay.
I wish I had your luggage to give to you.
Charley, do not say "I'm sorry."
There's nothing to be sorry for.
Well, he thought we were doing an exchange.
I know he did, but that's not your fault.
- Okay, life coach. - I'm just saying.
- We're joking. - Okay. All right.
Anything that has to do with a guy in this friend group,
she has something to say about it.
I'm at a breaking point, seriously.
Gonna put a bathing suit on. See you by the pool.
- Find your luggage. -See ya. I will try.
Coming up.
Talk about the ultimate slap in the face...
- No, yeah. - ...of a breakup to, like,
do something with Salley.
Ha! Wow.
Roddy Rod, let's go. We're, like, last ones, I think.
They probably ate our lunch already.
But I might have an excuse. My bag.
- Where are they? - I got 'em now.
Oh, this is cool.
Guys, let me just say something.
Nobody is stronger than the Mexican sun,
so don't think that you are,
- and apply it. - You're right.
-Vamanos. -Let's do it.
- Right? - Upper shoulds.
Uh-huh.
- Yeah, yeah, exactly. - Because Mexican sun...
- Don't around. - ...ain't no ----ing joke.
. I like your shorts.
Thanks, dude.
You guys go ahead. You guys go ahead.
I'm gonna go sort out lunch.
Let's get in this frickin' pool.
Hola, amigas. "Amigas."
That means you're feminine.
Do you make icebergs?
Yeah? Dos.
Ugh. Oh, thank God.
Oh, baby. I've been waiting for this for, like, six hours.
Can I get a daiquiri?
Perfect.
Whitney!
---ing excellent.
The mezcal is really good.
The beach thing is just my idea of hell.
---ing sweaty, depressing, slow death.
Get up and show us the goods, baby.
What?
It's really good sh--.
- Hey, kids. - What's up, girl?
-Hi! -Come here.
-Wanna see the outfit? -Yeah, I wanna see it.
Not booty meat!
Yeah, a little bit. Not too much. Not too much.
Yo, where are the other girls?
Where are the girls?
I don't know if it's the Mexican heat
or what the is going on with me,
but I'm being a ----ing bitch.
- Like, what's wrong? - I just think I'm so sick
and tired of manchildren. Like, obviously, Craig.
Like, I don't know if I would've said all of this yesterday,
but sometimes I feel like you don't realize it, but sometimes
you do say these little sly remarks about him, or, like...
Yeah, because best friends warning each other
about certain situations, that's all I'm doing.
I am one of your best friends.
Like, I just don't know how you could like Craig.
This is what I don't wanna hear. This is why I don't bring it up.
I enjoy spending time with him. I like hanging out with him.
I'm excited to have fun with him in Mexico.
Maybe I don't want to talk to you about, like,
every single thing that I do with him.
Do you understand how that's, like, hard for me?
Because, like, I've lost my best friend and being able
- to vent to her about-- - Okay, you haven't lost
your best friend. We talk about everything else.
It might be a hard pill to swallow, but, yeah, I mean,
I'm trying to change the dynamic of our friendship.
I just have realized whenever I know that my best friend,
like, feels a little type of way about him,
I'm not gonna be like, "Hey!" You know?
Like, it influences the way that I feel about him.
I don't want that to happen anymore.
I have plenty of friends to vent to about him.
So I don't have to come to you.
- That's what I'm saying. - Then I won't.
Okay. Go put a hot bathing suit on.
Yeah.
- It's so hot. - It's Mexico.
- Cheers. - Let's show some love.
I wonder what Charley and Salley are doing.
Their relationship is so ----ing weird.
It's, like, domineering on Salley's part.
Craig can shed light into this.
Yes, he can.
Craig can shed all the light into this.
I'll have a beer on ice.
I went to deliver Charley's bags.
And I thought she had mine. I went over there.
And Salley, she's very controlling over Charley.
- Very. - Austen said you can
- shed light on that dynamic. - Like, are they being like,
"I like Craig and you don't like that I like Craig"?
I really don't know. Here's what I was attempting to not ever do:
I never wanna be a reason of conflict for those two.
Obviously nothing's gonna ever happen if I'm the reason
that she's fighting with her ----ing friend.
Right.
- Hey. -Oh, hey.
Where have y'all been?
- Unpacking. - Yeah.
I need a drink so bad. Like, so bad.
There's a margarita.
I don't wanna ask questions later,
so just tell me what was going on.
I don't care to talk about it right now.
I just, like, am excited for the pool.
Oh, my God, body.
Body-ody-ody-ody-ody.
This girl.
Austen...
- Hey, Austen! - Hi!
Just kidding.
- No, you're not. - No, I'm not kidding at all.
All right, am I insane that it, like, does weigh on me
a little bit that Audrey didn't like Salley
because Salley was so overly aggressive
telling people whatever she felt about me?
So is Craig and Salley a thing,
- or is it... - Mmm...
Okay, come on, come on.
Honestly? Salley's got the hots for Austen.
Talk about the ultimate slap in the face...
-No, yeah. Yeah. - ...of a breakup to, like,
go and, like, do something with the one person...
- You only do live once, so. - Ha! Wow.
He just seems to be the Austen that I love again.
I really try to compartmentalize
rather than always just being ----ing angry.
Always being angry is not a good way to live.
Now, compartmentalizing is also probably not
a very good way to live, but I would much rather
pretend to be harmonious than always at each other's throats.
Listen, I love you. You can do whatever you want with Austen.
From my perspective, though, it seems like
he doesn't know what he wants.
All I've ever heard in this friend group is talking about
how they're not for each other
and, like, how they don't wanna be with each other.
I was told she would be, like,
nonchalant and totally fine if they broke up.
- Oh, no. - From who?
Why? Why would someone be nonchalant
and totally fine after breaking up--
Apparently she's-- 'Cause that's what I was told.
Like, their relationship was immature.
-Well, it wasn't me. -It wasn't me.
I'ma say I wouldn't say they were immature.
I might say some sh--, but it wasn't that.
So you're just saying, just be honest, it was Craig.
Hey! Thank you. Let's cheers. Cheers.
These guys aren't the people to go to for ----ing information.
Do you think Craig lies?
Salley! That shouldn't take you so long.
- Yes, no. Come on. - Truth!
I cannot speak negatively about Craig.
No! That's not-- God.
Coming up.
So, Salley and I talked to each other.
All right, let's get in the pool.
Yes, let's get in the pool.
Rum and coconut!
I'm gonna drink 17 of these on this trip.
Damn, that's good!
Would you like some coconuts?
- Yeah. - Okay, try one.
- Would you like some coconuts? - I'm drinking one.
Cheers.
- Hey. -What up?
What have you guys been doing?
Looks like it.
Guys, I think it's just about time
to head back to our domiciles and get ready for dinner.
Hey, get ready. We have, like, one hour. Meeting in the lobby.
Time to go. Let's go.
Can't wait to see everyone change for the better.
I have mascara all over my eyelid right there.
Okay.
Here we go.
- Shall we? -Y'all ready?
Yeah.
To dinner we go.
- Are we all getting in one? - I hope not.
-I'm going this one. -Me too.
We're going to the Iguana that was owned by
Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
We're gonna have drinks in Elizabeth Taylor's boudoir.
- Hell yeah. - Wow.
Anyway, it was one of the most heated
love relationships in the history of Hollywood.
Well, Richard Burton met Elizabeth Taylor at a pool party
and apparently he went up to her and his opening line was,
"You have the greatest tits I've ever seen."
That's a nice line.
Would that pick-up line ever work?
It works at Mar-a-Lago.
Okay, here we go.
Thank you so much.
- Well, this looks nice. - Very nice.
-Look at the sunset. -Yeah, this is cool.
Oh, boy. Look at that statue.
Oh, hell yeah. Austen, it's us.
Oh, my God, except for she has-- Look at the boobs.
That's a pre-tit job.
Damn. That is my hair.
And that is Salley before she had--
I'm not even looking, but I'm sure they're great.
Fantastic.
That'll be fantastic.
This is-- It's amazing. Thank you so much.
Yeah, this is nice.
-Oh, my God. -Holy crap.
-Whoa! - This is insane.
Is this where they banged?
- Wow! - Look at that sky.
-You're kidding. - Wow.
-Hola. -Hi.
May I offer a cocktail?
Do you have, like, an espresso martini?
Espresso martini? Nice choice.
-Thank you so much. -Thank you very much.
I'm gonna show you one cool thing. Follow me.
Look at this ----ing thing.
This was built for Elizabeth Taylor circa 1962.
Did they bang here too?
'Cause I can see it. Just sort of, like, here...
- Then you're here... - Ridiculous.
I think, like, she's sitting here out of the water,
'cause you don't wanna do under the water.
Having sex underwater is not all that fun.
- Not that lubricating. -No, underwater sex
- is the worst. - Yeah.
So Salley and I talked to each other.
Well...
What are you saying no about?
Coming up.
If I had to close my eyes and hear you talk about Austen,
I would say, "That man doesn't like you as much--"
But you don't, because I don't talk to you, Venita.
- You don't. - Just off.
- Is it raining? -Guys, feel that?
-Guys, it's raining. -I kinda like it.
Let's go down for dinner.
This is so nice.
Where should we sit?
- Where are you sitting? - I have no idea.
Why don't you-- Charley, you're there.
-Okay. - Shep.
Sit down wherever?
Oh!
Thank you.
I want, like, two, two, two, two, two.
I want the short rib.
I'm gonna get the lobster tail.
I'm gonna get the short rib.
- You have any chilled red wine? -Si.
Craig's got another button going?
I only button two. You can go down one more.
I just did one!
Can y'all just make out already?
Look at them smiling. They're both smiling.
- They're both smiling. - Just make out.
Salley and I are very different in our approach towards men.
Salley puts on this, "Oh, let me bat my eyes at you.
Oh, my gosh, you're so hot."
I'm like a man repeller. I'm like, I'm gonna do
all the weird sh--, and if you still like me,
then, hey, that's awesome.
- Cheers, everybody. -Cheers.
-So can I say something? - Yes, please, go ahead.
I mean, I'm--
- I love this. - That's pretty cool.
I love this!
- Ooh! -I love it, I love it.
Look at this.
There's been another murder!
Oh, I love a thunderstorm.
Guys? Uh, yeah, so this trip,
we're gonna do things that spurs you towards inner peace,
bring out a big inner smile.
So that's what we're focusing on.
And in the spirit of that, let's play a game.
- Do it. - Go around the table,
and it's New Year's resolutions,
but each person can pick someone to their right or left,
give them the thing that they should work on.
- Love that idea. - He said New Year's resolution
- to someone else. -I'm gonna start.
This goes with something today. I was at Salley and Charley's,
you were delivering your luggage, and you said
"I'm sorry," but Salley came in and was like,
- "Don't say you're sorry!" - I did do that.
"There's nothing to be sorry for." And I was like,
whoa, whoa, whoa. Y'all's personality is
- so clearly different. - So different.
And so my thing to you is be more autonomous
and be sure of yourself.
- There you go. -Thank you.
I feel like I did that, though. Whenever I--
She did. She fought back with me.
Okay, well, while we're starting that, I have a problem with you
because you don't say "thank you" and "please" that often.
Okay. I accept that. You're right.
I'm a spoiled brat sometimes.
Okay. Venita?
I would like to see Austen stand up for himself...
in more situations than not.
- Okay. - Generally.
Yeah, not targeting me at all.
I appreciate you saying so.
And sometimes I take the, like, you know, easier path out.
- Uh-huh. Yeah. -Just move on.
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh. -You know?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Venita, you don't know anything about
me and Austen's relationship, as much as you want to.
We've known each other for a decade, and I know that
you're trying to make whatever you're doing, but, like--
I know that everyone's trying to, like, posture, but I--
that's why I'm saying that I don't care what anyone
has to say about my relationship with Craig.
If I had to close my eyes and hear you talk about Austen,
I would say "That man doesn't like you" with my eyes closed.
But you don't, because I don't talk to you, Venita,
- 'cause I don't know you. - You don't. Yeah, you don't.
Okay. Venita, you don't exist in my world.
So just off.
Oh, wow!
Next time on Southern Charm.
- What? - We made out.
- Kiss my ass, losers! - Whoo!
What happens in Mexico does not stay in Mexico.
I was just curious if you knew that
Craig's been making out with Charley.
What the?
There was a shift in our friendship
and that's what I'm upset about.
- You didn't tell me! - I tried to set boundaries!
You keep getting involved with sh-- that has nothing
- to do with you! - I never--