1 00:00:38,211 --> 00:00:40,648 I was sheriff of this county when I was 25. 2 00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:44,217 Hard to believe. 3 00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:46,872 Grandfather was a sheriff. Father, too. 4 00:00:46,915 --> 00:00:48,743 Ranchers all. 5 00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:51,877 Working the land through times flush and fallow. 6 00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:58,449 There's a natural order to things. 7 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,929 We know it in our bones. 8 00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:03,541 Jesus was a man, not some bearded lady. 9 00:01:03,584 --> 00:01:05,499 And just as water flows downhill, 10 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:08,372 a husband is head of his household. 11 00:01:08,415 --> 00:01:11,418 Under him, the woman abides. 12 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,247 She holds her virtue close 13 00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:17,468 until that matrimonial threshold is crossed, 14 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,991 and then she opens to him, 15 00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:21,298 as the flower opens to the sun. 16 00:01:21,341 --> 00:01:22,603 And in exchange, 17 00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:25,432 the man shelters and protects his female, 18 00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:28,261 as the sword has its sheath. 19 00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:30,872 Okay, but what I'm saying is, you... 20 00:01:32,613 --> 00:01:35,964 No. He only raises his hand to her 21 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,923 when she forgets her place and acts the man. 22 00:01:37,966 --> 00:01:41,535 And-and then only for instruction, 23 00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:45,496 never taking any pleasure or satisfaction from the task. 24 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,280 Whereas you, son, 25 00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:50,370 seem to have played a Tommy Lee drum solo 26 00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,938 all over your missus's facade. 27 00:01:52,981 --> 00:01:55,680 - This? I fell is all. - Hey, quiet now. 28 00:01:55,723 --> 00:01:58,248 Sheriff's talking. 29 00:01:58,291 --> 00:02:01,642 Come here. Take comfort, dear. 30 00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,123 Daughter, these hard times are over. 31 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,907 All right? 32 00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,779 I'll see to your husband's instruction myself. 33 00:02:07,822 --> 00:02:09,128 What 'struction? 34 00:02:14,394 --> 00:02:16,266 Now, be honest. 35 00:02:16,309 --> 00:02:18,572 Do you ever question your man's supremacy 36 00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,226 when he speaks? 37 00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,620 Just when he drinks or with the crank, you know? 38 00:02:22,663 --> 00:02:24,404 I try to stay out of the way, but... 39 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,277 Don't hurt him. 40 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,583 We got three boys who need a daddy. 41 00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:32,195 Okay. Okay. 42 00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:41,813 Yeah. 43 00:02:41,856 --> 00:02:44,294 Thank you. You got any of that huckleberry pie? 44 00:02:44,337 --> 00:02:46,992 - Sure. - That's great. 45 00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:52,127 Lookit, dick cheese, I know you... 46 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,564 Quiet. 47 00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:59,526 Go home. Fix a meal. 48 00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,485 Pray on it before you take the first bite. 49 00:03:01,528 --> 00:03:04,096 Forgiveness. Tend to his burns. 50 00:03:04,139 --> 00:03:06,141 Try to be deferential. 51 00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:08,709 Cater to his needs as a man with your mouth 52 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,450 in order to sow harmony. 53 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:13,714 I'll come by in the morning, see if the lesson stuck. 54 00:03:15,281 --> 00:03:17,109 Go on. 55 00:03:17,152 --> 00:03:18,371 Go. 56 00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,255 They missed her. 57 00:03:51,926 --> 00:03:53,972 What happened? 58 00:03:55,930 --> 00:04:00,239 You send a man to do a job without all the information, 59 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:03,721 how can the job be done? 60 00:04:03,764 --> 00:04:05,070 Yeah, what are you? 61 00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:08,116 The Riddler? 62 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:12,164 You say the woman is a woman, a... 63 00:04:12,207 --> 00:04:14,035 How do you... 64 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,690 Housewife. 65 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:22,740 Never do you mention she is, for real, a tiger. 66 00:04:22,783 --> 00:04:25,743 You're saying you couldn't handle some girl? 67 00:04:25,786 --> 00:04:27,832 100 pounds soaking wet? 69 00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:36,841 It was on the wire this morning. 70 00:04:36,884 --> 00:04:40,366 This half-wit shot up a filling station outside Beulah. 71 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,237 Murdered the clerk. 72 00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:44,414 Killed a state trooper. 73 00:04:44,457 --> 00:04:45,893 Put a hole in the leg of another. 74 00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:49,723 And this retard's partner with a cracked skull 75 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,290 and his face half burned off in the morgue. 76 00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:54,119 You say housewife, so I bring one guy. 77 00:04:54,162 --> 00:04:56,556 You say tiger... 78 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,731 that's a different guy. 79 00:04:57,775 --> 00:05:00,168 Cost you three times. 80 00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:02,867 Did they take her? The police? 81 00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:04,869 Fled on foot. 82 00:05:04,912 --> 00:05:07,262 Possibly home. 83 00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:09,003 Possibly to the wind. 84 00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:11,658 Could you find her? 85 00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:14,400 She could be found. 86 00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:17,360 Where people go, the thoughts they have, 87 00:05:17,403 --> 00:05:19,927 these are known to me. 88 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,146 Instincts. 89 00:05:21,189 --> 00:05:23,496 Who flees, who fights. 90 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:27,805 It's a question of price. 91 00:05:27,848 --> 00:05:31,243 The job it was, not the job you said. 92 00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:33,332 Pain and suffering. 93 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,856 A man, missing an appendage, 94 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,250 self-sewing his own skin. 95 00:05:38,293 --> 00:05:39,991 Scarred for life, he's told. 96 00:05:40,034 --> 00:05:43,516 And then this new ask. 97 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,170 Hunting a tiger. 98 00:05:45,213 --> 00:05:48,129 And it forces the man to ask: 99 00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,915 why you want the tiger? 100 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,353 She's my wife. 101 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,659 Don't tell him shit. 102 00:05:55,702 --> 00:05:57,095 I already said I can handle this. 103 00:05:57,138 --> 00:05:59,053 We know where she lives now. Her alias. 104 00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:06,365 She made vows to me. 105 00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,106 A pledge. 106 00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:11,283 In sickness and in health. 107 00:06:11,326 --> 00:06:14,765 Consider it a debt unpaid, leaving me in limbo. 108 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:17,420 Husband yes or husband no. 109 00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:21,119 See, she hid from me nine, ten years. 110 00:06:22,076 --> 00:06:25,515 Interest accrued. 111 00:06:25,558 --> 00:06:28,605 Until the debt could no longer be paid with money. 112 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:36,134 Then, one day, there she is, fingerprints in the system. 113 00:06:36,177 --> 00:06:38,310 Now the limbo can end, 114 00:06:38,353 --> 00:06:41,269 the debt can be collected. 115 00:06:43,924 --> 00:06:45,491 Tell me something, friend. 116 00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,539 If a man is pure, 117 00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:52,324 his actions are only ever good. 118 00:06:53,281 --> 00:06:55,370 You believe that? 119 00:06:57,503 --> 00:06:59,984 I'm a nihilist. 120 00:07:00,027 --> 00:07:01,725 What the fuck does that mean? 121 00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:03,074 I believe in nothing. 122 00:07:03,117 --> 00:07:04,423 You believe in money. 123 00:07:06,294 --> 00:07:07,992 Yeah? 124 00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:16,479 Well, thanks for your help. 125 00:07:17,697 --> 00:07:19,351 Go on with Gator. He'll get you paid. 126 00:07:19,394 --> 00:07:20,657 Dad. 127 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,963 Original plus pain and suffering. 128 00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,878 Yeah, of course. 129 00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:27,272 Take it out of the rainy day fund. 130 00:07:27,315 --> 00:07:28,926 Fixing place. 131 00:07:28,969 --> 00:07:32,625 Fixing place. Right. 132 00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,627 Come on, numbnuts. 133 00:07:41,547 --> 00:07:45,812 A man is grateful. 134 00:08:00,827 --> 00:08:04,222 I'm not saying sorry, but you understand. 135 00:08:04,265 --> 00:08:05,963 I had to rough you up a little back there. 136 00:08:06,006 --> 00:08:09,053 You coming up snake eyes and all. 137 00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:15,625 With her being such a tiny bird, which... 138 00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:19,933 You know... 139 00:08:21,282 --> 00:08:23,720 they used to be dinosaurs. 140 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,552 Hundreds okay? 141 00:08:40,475 --> 00:08:41,825 Surprise, shitbird. 142 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:06,545 - What's going on, Roy? - Go on, get back to the house now. 143 00:09:32,266 --> 00:09:36,140 Like we said, this is all just a misunderstanding. 144 00:09:36,183 --> 00:09:37,663 Had a bad day is all. 145 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,235 A bad day? 146 00:09:44,278 --> 00:09:45,453 Yeah. 147 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,630 Left the house a mess. 148 00:09:47,673 --> 00:09:50,763 Last I checked, weren't a crime. 149 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,112 No, ma'am. 150 00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:54,201 I'm a recidivist on that count myself. 151 00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:55,507 Laundry especially. 152 00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:58,336 Oh, laundry. 153 00:09:58,379 --> 00:10:00,947 But what I'm concerned about is the blood. 154 00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,993 Told you, I cut my feet up on some glass. 155 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,559 You did. 156 00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:07,432 And I see the wounds. 157 00:10:07,475 --> 00:10:08,738 But what I'm dealing with is the fact 158 00:10:08,781 --> 00:10:10,522 that the blood on your entry floor 159 00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,219 is different than the blood type we have on record for you. 160 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,612 Records? 161 00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:15,788 Those... 162 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:18,922 You know, I heard a man went into the hospital in St. Paul 163 00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:20,924 fer a kidney transplant, 164 00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:22,621 he ended up with someone else's brain. 165 00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:25,145 - No way. - Yeah. 166 00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,364 Well, I'm not sure... 167 00:10:26,407 --> 00:10:28,845 That don't sound accurate. 168 00:10:28,888 --> 00:10:32,587 What I'm saying is, hospitals make mistakes. 169 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,503 Then there's the hair DNA from the balaclava in your boudoir. 170 00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,331 Told you, I bought that secondhand. 171 00:10:41,509 --> 00:10:43,773 You know, it's my fault. 172 00:10:43,816 --> 00:10:47,341 You know, I came home, front door was wide open... 173 00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:49,779 ...all the blood. 174 00:10:49,822 --> 00:10:52,999 I'm not ashamed to say I panicked. 175 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,609 But, you know, Dot's home... 176 00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:56,481 ...and that's all that matters. 177 00:10:56,524 --> 00:10:58,788 So, whatever the... 178 00:10:58,831 --> 00:11:01,616 You know, she's my wife. And I believe her. 179 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:05,316 So, if there's a form or something I can sign to... 180 00:11:05,359 --> 00:11:08,275 you know, drop the charges... 181 00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,190 That's not how this works. 182 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:15,848 I got to... 183 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,981 It's almost time for pickup. 184 00:11:18,024 --> 00:11:22,202 I told Scotty we could go to DQ after school, so... 185 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,425 Well, okay, then. 186 00:11:27,468 --> 00:11:28,992 Thanks for your time. 188 00:11:30,776 --> 00:11:32,560 We're reviewing traffic cameras in the neighborhood... 189 00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:33,518 so if I have any more questions... 190 00:11:33,561 --> 00:11:34,998 No. 191 00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:37,087 She's... 192 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,742 Wayne, she's not listening to me. 193 00:11:39,785 --> 00:11:41,918 Danish Graves is our attorney, 194 00:11:41,961 --> 00:11:43,920 so if you need to contact us again, 195 00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:46,618 which you shouldn't... 196 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,490 Okay, then. 197 00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,287 So, it's a puzzler. 198 00:12:03,330 --> 00:12:04,854 Spoke to Wayne. 199 00:12:04,897 --> 00:12:06,681 Dot's back. 200 00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,248 She's what now? 201 00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:10,294 Yeah, came home on her own. 202 00:12:10,337 --> 00:12:12,252 A little bruised. 203 00:12:13,253 --> 00:12:14,777 Bloody feet. 204 00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:16,300 She escaped? 205 00:12:16,343 --> 00:12:17,475 Well, that's the conundrum. 206 00:12:17,518 --> 00:12:19,129 Says she wasn't taken. 207 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:22,219 Says it was just a driving around type scenario. 208 00:12:22,262 --> 00:12:23,655 Getting her head straight. 209 00:12:23,698 --> 00:12:25,613 Bullshit. 210 00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:28,355 You saw the police report. 211 00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:30,096 Something's fishy here. 212 00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,272 Agreed. 213 00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:33,970 I smell a rat. 214 00:12:34,013 --> 00:12:36,233 You think... 215 00:12:36,276 --> 00:12:37,625 Well, what do you think? 216 00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:40,933 A play, maybe. 217 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,631 Extortion, but she got cold feet. 218 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,285 Kidnapped herself, you're thinking? 219 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:48,593 I mean, what do we know about this girl, really? 220 00:12:48,636 --> 00:12:51,117 Well, I did the background check when they got engaged. 221 00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:52,989 Well, you said yourself, not much there. 222 00:12:53,032 --> 00:12:54,425 Pretty thin, for sure. 223 00:12:54,468 --> 00:12:55,948 Just the birth certificate, 224 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,732 a few school records, previous addresses. 225 00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,865 Well, it's too good to be true, now I'm thinking. 226 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,736 So, what do we...? 227 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:05,392 Tell you what we don't want, police digging their noses 228 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:06,785 into other people's business. 229 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,526 Asking questions that can't be answered. 230 00:13:08,569 --> 00:13:09,832 Then what? 231 00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,661 Possibly this thing goes federal. 232 00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,707 You know, wrong person makes a phone call. 233 00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:18,623 You don't think Wayne's... 234 00:13:18,666 --> 00:13:21,104 Who knows what to think? 235 00:13:21,147 --> 00:13:23,193 He's got the dealership, 236 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,065 a decent roof over their head, 237 00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:31,114 but maybe she's pushing him for more. 238 00:13:31,157 --> 00:13:33,725 Putting ideas in his head. 239 00:13:33,768 --> 00:13:36,380 I don't know. 240 00:13:36,423 --> 00:13:39,644 So we separate 'em, like the cops. 241 00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:42,342 You brace him. I go at her. 242 00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:44,431 Get to the bottom of things. 243 00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:45,955 If this deal's for real 244 00:13:45,998 --> 00:13:48,653 and they got a notion to take what's mine, 245 00:13:48,696 --> 00:13:51,003 we need to nip it in the bud. 246 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,613 Keep things in-house. 247 00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:55,007 Ah, geez. 248 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,618 Everything was going along just fine, too. 249 00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:58,924 And now, what do you... 250 00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:02,754 This... enemy within situation. 251 00:14:02,797 --> 00:14:06,889 She made promises. To me. 252 00:14:06,932 --> 00:14:08,542 My son. 253 00:14:09,543 --> 00:14:11,241 To have and to hold. 254 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,808 For richer and poorer. 255 00:14:15,027 --> 00:14:17,377 And that's a debt we're gonna collect. 269 00:15:25,706 --> 00:15:27,795 You gonna make it there, sunshine? 270 00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:31,930 Fucker got the drop on me. 271 00:15:34,019 --> 00:15:36,282 Tell me her name again? 272 00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:39,851 Goes by Dorothy Lyon now. 273 00:15:39,894 --> 00:15:41,940 Lives in a suburb outside the Twin Cities. 274 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,420 Married, you said? 275 00:15:43,463 --> 00:15:45,030 Going on ten years. 276 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,120 Husband owns a car dealership, some kind of... 277 00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:50,122 ...Korean model. 278 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,428 Koreans make cars? 279 00:15:51,471 --> 00:15:53,734 I guess. 280 00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,084 Anyway, she's got a daughter... 281 00:15:55,127 --> 00:15:57,912 ...named Scotty. She's about nine. 282 00:16:06,312 --> 00:16:08,749 Roy, we got FBI here. 283 00:16:13,493 --> 00:16:14,799 Let's send 'em up. 284 00:16:16,061 --> 00:16:17,367 What do you want me to...? 285 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,542 Don't worry about it. 286 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,378 Hard day at the office. 287 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,076 Like the sign says, he's a hard man for hard times. 288 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,383 And by "he" I mean me. 289 00:16:38,953 --> 00:16:41,956 Agent Ja-Queen. 290 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,220 It's Joaquin. 291 00:16:44,263 --> 00:16:45,699 This is Agent Meyer. 292 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,136 We're new in the Fargo office. 293 00:16:47,179 --> 00:16:48,615 We thought we'd come by, 294 00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,791 see why you aren't enforcing any of our laws. 295 00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:52,402 What laws? 296 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,143 You know, gun laws, drug laws. 297 00:16:54,186 --> 00:16:56,797 Any of the half-dozen other American laws 298 00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,930 passed and ratified by the United States government 299 00:16:58,973 --> 00:17:01,454 that you don't seem to recognize. 300 00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,456 Well, Agent Ja-Queen, I think you'll find 301 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,502 that there is no one on God's green Earth 302 00:17:05,545 --> 00:17:06,981 who is a greater enforcer of the laws of this land 303 00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,461 than Roy Tillman. 304 00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:10,550 Why do I feel like there's a "but" here? 305 00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:11,682 But... 306 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:17,644 ...what you need to know is that I am the law of the land. 307 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:20,430 Elected by the residents of this county 308 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,562 to interpret and enforce the Constitution 309 00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:26,044 given unto us by Almighty God. 311 00:17:27,915 --> 00:17:29,830 Freedom. 312 00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,354 Amen. 313 00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:33,660 You know, I hear that word a lot out here. 314 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,271 I'm curious... 315 00:17:35,314 --> 00:17:37,099 what you think it means. 316 00:17:37,142 --> 00:17:38,839 Agent, if you don't know what freedom is, 317 00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,145 I don't think me saying the words out loud 318 00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:41,929 is gonna teach you. 319 00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:46,673 Why don't you go and do your chores? 320 00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,815 Seriously? 321 00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,861 Do you want a towel, or...? 322 00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,863 Does my discussing matters of state 323 00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:05,214 in moist repose bother you? 324 00:18:14,875 --> 00:18:16,399 Jesus. 325 00:18:27,975 --> 00:18:29,542 Now, what is it you wanted to discuss? 326 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,544 Well, like I said, we're new in town. 327 00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:34,112 We thought we'd come open a collegial dialogue. 328 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,158 Maybe let you know we're looking into the practices... 329 00:18:36,201 --> 00:18:38,725 - ...of your office. - Very unorthodox practices. 330 00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,640 Possibly illegal. 331 00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:44,209 Illegal according to who? 332 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,428 Maybe you weren't paying attention, 333 00:18:45,471 --> 00:18:46,951 but I am the law around here. 334 00:18:46,994 --> 00:18:48,996 So you said. 335 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,738 Removable only by the governor or my constituents, 336 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:53,349 who love me, by the way, 337 00:18:53,392 --> 00:18:56,221 because I say what I want and I do as I please. 338 00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:58,049 And I know the difference between right and wrong. 339 00:18:58,092 --> 00:19:00,051 Don't you mean legal and illegal? 340 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,534 Well... 341 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,971 did you know that in North Dakota it is illegal... 342 00:19:07,014 --> 00:19:08,320 for a charitable group to hold... 343 00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:11,541 ...more than two poker games a year? 344 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:14,326 And similarly, it is illegal 345 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,676 to keep an elk in a sandbox in your own backyard. 346 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,983 I shit you not. 347 00:19:19,026 --> 00:19:20,637 Now, if you were to own a tavern 348 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,552 and serve beer and pretzels at the same time, 349 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,553 I could arrest you. 350 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,120 And in Waverly... 351 00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:31,256 ...the law forbids horses from sleeping in bathtubs. 352 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,606 You beginning to get the drift here? 353 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:37,610 I'm a sheriff of the American Constitution. 354 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:40,700 Bound by duty, blood, and tradition 355 00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:44,138 to enforce what is right and to prosecute what is wrong. 356 00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:46,228 And the law, my friends... 357 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,100 ...has very little to do with it. 358 00:19:51,276 --> 00:19:55,149 So, Ja-Queen, Mrs. Ja-Queen... 359 00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:57,195 if you'll excuse me... 360 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,023 ...I have some justice to administer. 361 00:20:00,154 --> 00:20:02,113 You can see yourself out. 362 00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,875 What do you say next time we get an extra Blizzard 363 00:20:24,918 --> 00:20:27,530 and hold it upside down to see how long it takes 364 00:20:27,573 --> 00:20:29,271 for the stuffing to come out? 365 00:20:29,314 --> 00:20:31,229 - Yeah. - Yeah. 366 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,797 Your tea selection is atrocious. 367 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,799 How did you get in here? 368 00:20:39,933 --> 00:20:41,283 Hey, Nana. 369 00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:45,156 Are you wearing lipstick? 370 00:20:45,199 --> 00:20:47,114 That's ketchup. We had curly fries. 371 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,512 Like I said, how come you're in my home? 372 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,514 Of course I have a key. 373 00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,995 It's my son's house. 374 00:20:58,038 --> 00:21:01,433 Still, sorry if we startled you. 375 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,174 Imagine intruders breaking into your house 376 00:21:03,217 --> 00:21:05,742 twice in one week. 377 00:21:05,785 --> 00:21:07,874 Oh, wait. 378 00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:11,269 That didn't happen. 379 00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:14,446 What do you want? 380 00:21:16,361 --> 00:21:19,930 Jerome, could you see my granddaughter to her room? 381 00:21:19,973 --> 00:21:22,411 Maybe she wants to show you her dolls. 382 00:21:22,454 --> 00:21:25,892 I don't have dolls, Nana. I like ninjas. 383 00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,633 Is that some kind of cat? 384 00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:28,982 You're silly. 385 00:21:29,026 --> 00:21:31,507 Come on, young Skywalker. 386 00:21:31,550 --> 00:21:35,554 I'll show you how a true samurai fights. 388 00:21:43,388 --> 00:21:47,914 Well, I guess with you when it rains it pours. 389 00:21:47,958 --> 00:21:49,699 That... 390 00:21:51,918 --> 00:21:55,792 I mean, this is all just a bunch of silliness. 391 00:21:55,835 --> 00:21:59,404 Honestly, I'm embarrassed by all the fuss. 392 00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:01,319 Signs of a break-in, I'm told. 393 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:04,801 Evidence you fought back, which good for you. 394 00:22:04,844 --> 00:22:06,803 I'd have skinned 'em where they stood. 395 00:22:06,846 --> 00:22:08,761 Please. 396 00:22:08,805 --> 00:22:10,546 More like Mama had a tantrum 397 00:22:10,589 --> 00:22:12,983 and it all got blowed out of proportion. 398 00:22:13,026 --> 00:22:16,421 Honestly, like a snowball rolling downhill. 399 00:22:16,465 --> 00:22:19,859 Well, either you got a screw loose, 400 00:22:19,903 --> 00:22:23,602 or somebody came for you and you got away... 401 00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:25,212 and now you're lying about it. 402 00:22:25,256 --> 00:22:27,040 Mom. 403 00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:29,260 No. 404 00:22:29,303 --> 00:22:31,218 I'm not your mom. 405 00:22:31,262 --> 00:22:34,918 You're married to my son, mother to my granddaughter. 406 00:22:34,961 --> 00:22:37,311 I wanted a girl with papers, 407 00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:39,923 but my Wayne always liked a sassy thing 408 00:22:39,966 --> 00:22:42,404 with a tight caboose, so here you are. 409 00:22:46,451 --> 00:22:49,323 Haven't you ever had one of those days? 410 00:22:51,717 --> 00:22:55,068 So what if I do got a screw loose? 411 00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:57,723 Stress and the like. 412 00:22:57,767 --> 00:23:00,683 I'm holding up my end of the deal. 413 00:23:00,726 --> 00:23:02,467 We're man and wife, 414 00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:04,556 him and me, 415 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:05,949 and he loves me. 416 00:23:05,992 --> 00:23:08,560 There are ways we could change that. 417 00:23:08,604 --> 00:23:10,388 The holy bond. 418 00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:12,695 Revocation of the trust. 419 00:23:12,738 --> 00:23:14,218 And cut you both out of the will, 420 00:23:14,261 --> 00:23:15,741 see if that moves the marker. 421 00:23:15,785 --> 00:23:17,003 What are you saying? 422 00:23:17,047 --> 00:23:19,441 I'm saying I don't trust you. 423 00:23:19,484 --> 00:23:21,051 You're up to something. 424 00:23:21,094 --> 00:23:23,967 And I won't have you dragging my son down. 425 00:23:24,010 --> 00:23:25,621 So... 426 00:23:25,664 --> 00:23:27,318 best you make excuses, 427 00:23:27,361 --> 00:23:31,757 you go back to wherever it is you were before you met. 428 00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:36,545 If you go easy, I could even see my way to... 429 00:23:36,588 --> 00:23:41,463 staking you for the first two years. 430 00:23:43,334 --> 00:23:44,857 Listen, bitch. 431 00:23:46,424 --> 00:23:50,559 I've climbed through six kinds of hell to get where I am. 432 00:23:50,602 --> 00:23:53,475 And no Ivy League royal wannabe is gonna run me off 433 00:23:53,518 --> 00:23:55,477 just because she doesn't like the way I smell. 434 00:23:57,653 --> 00:24:00,656 If you want to tussle with me... 435 00:24:00,699 --> 00:24:04,921 ...you better sleep with both eyes open. 436 00:24:04,964 --> 00:24:09,926 Because nobody takes what's mine and lives. 437 00:24:16,062 --> 00:24:18,195 Anyhoo... 438 00:24:18,238 --> 00:24:20,153 thanks for stopping by. 439 00:24:21,067 --> 00:24:22,504 Dinner Sunday? 440 00:24:23,592 --> 00:24:26,029 I'll bring my blue salad. 441 00:24:27,117 --> 00:24:29,249 Jerome. 442 00:24:29,293 --> 00:24:31,164 We're leaving. 443 00:24:34,733 --> 00:24:37,040 Always nice to see you, dear. 444 00:24:39,085 --> 00:24:43,046 Maybe think about getting some iron into your diet. 445 00:24:43,089 --> 00:24:45,178 You look like a corpse. 447 00:25:29,005 --> 00:25:30,180 Mom? 449 00:25:35,664 --> 00:25:36,665 I'm hungry. 450 00:25:36,708 --> 00:25:38,492 What? 451 00:25:38,536 --> 00:25:40,320 You just had DQ. 452 00:25:40,364 --> 00:25:42,279 It didn't take. 453 00:25:42,322 --> 00:25:45,108 What's going on down there? 454 00:25:45,151 --> 00:25:46,718 A wedgie. 455 00:25:51,418 --> 00:25:53,159 Tell you what. 456 00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:55,988 How about we make a vegetable medley 457 00:25:56,032 --> 00:25:59,731 with carrot sticks and the bell peppers you like? 458 00:25:59,775 --> 00:26:02,778 And then you can help Mom do some kind of craft project. 459 00:26:02,821 --> 00:26:04,518 What kind of craft project? 460 00:26:04,562 --> 00:26:07,870 You're gonna have to go downstairs to find out. 461 00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:10,916 Come on. 462 00:26:22,841 --> 00:26:25,235 Bye-bye. 463 00:26:25,278 --> 00:26:27,759 Nicely done. 464 00:26:32,590 --> 00:26:34,157 Awesome. 474 00:27:27,036 --> 00:27:28,820 - You ready? - Yeah. 481 00:27:55,325 --> 00:27:57,370 Keep your hands off the ball chain, huh? 482 00:27:57,414 --> 00:28:00,547 Mama doesn't want you getting smooshed like a bug. 483 00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:04,247 Can we do my room next? 484 00:28:04,290 --> 00:28:06,336 Oh, yeah. 485 00:28:06,379 --> 00:28:07,946 Let's go. 486 00:28:07,990 --> 00:28:09,643 Race you. 489 00:28:22,395 --> 00:28:25,790 Oh, sure, yeah, I got those VIN numbers right here. 490 00:28:27,836 --> 00:28:30,534 Actually, Phil, I'll have to call you back. 491 00:28:30,577 --> 00:28:33,058 All right. 492 00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:35,234 Finally saw the light on that Porsche, did you? 493 00:28:36,583 --> 00:28:38,977 What are you... 494 00:28:39,021 --> 00:28:41,632 - What are you... - I got some business to discuss, Wayne. 496 00:28:43,939 --> 00:28:46,028 Is he on? 497 00:28:46,071 --> 00:28:47,638 Mom? 498 00:28:47,681 --> 00:28:49,509 Got a problem here, kid. Need your help with it. 499 00:28:49,553 --> 00:28:50,684 Of course, yeah. 500 00:28:50,728 --> 00:28:52,382 Is it that landscaper again? 501 00:28:52,425 --> 00:28:54,340 No, it's not the landscaper, moron. 502 00:28:54,384 --> 00:28:56,429 It's your wife. 503 00:28:56,473 --> 00:28:58,736 Now hold on. That's... 504 00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:01,130 This whole kidnapping that ain't a kidnapping thing, 505 00:29:01,173 --> 00:29:03,132 well, there's something fishy about that. 506 00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:05,395 Full low tide, if you ask me. 507 00:29:05,438 --> 00:29:06,700 Like the dog's breath. 508 00:29:06,744 --> 00:29:08,572 Now, we talked about this... 509 00:29:08,615 --> 00:29:10,182 She had a bad day. 510 00:29:10,226 --> 00:29:11,444 Son. 511 00:29:11,488 --> 00:29:13,011 I talked to the police. 512 00:29:13,055 --> 00:29:15,274 They got hard evidence your wife was abducted. 513 00:29:15,318 --> 00:29:17,189 Not to mention, 514 00:29:17,233 --> 00:29:19,191 I just learned they think they got one of the guys 515 00:29:19,235 --> 00:29:21,933 on a slab over in North Dakota. 516 00:29:21,977 --> 00:29:24,588 Broke his skull in the commode of a filling station. 517 00:29:26,372 --> 00:29:28,592 - Geez. - Yeah, officer on the scene said 518 00:29:28,635 --> 00:29:31,290 there was a female present who matches Dot. 519 00:29:31,334 --> 00:29:35,642 Get your head out of your ass, kid. 520 00:29:35,686 --> 00:29:37,949 She's making a play here, your missus. 521 00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:39,472 In cahoots with the kidnappers maybe, 522 00:29:39,516 --> 00:29:43,172 or maybe just seizing the opportunity. 523 00:29:43,215 --> 00:29:44,608 I'm not sure what or why. 524 00:29:44,651 --> 00:29:45,783 But any way you tell the story, 525 00:29:45,827 --> 00:29:47,741 it ends with me writing a check. 526 00:29:47,785 --> 00:29:51,136 Oh, come on now, Ma, not everything's about money. 527 00:29:52,268 --> 00:29:53,312 Slap him. 528 00:29:53,356 --> 00:29:56,446 I'm... sorry? 529 00:29:56,489 --> 00:29:57,577 You heard me. 530 00:29:57,621 --> 00:29:59,144 My son needs a slap 531 00:29:59,188 --> 00:30:00,624 and I'm not there to give it to him. 532 00:30:00,667 --> 00:30:01,973 So, as my attorney, I authorize you 533 00:30:02,017 --> 00:30:04,280 to knock his fucking block off. 534 00:30:08,893 --> 00:30:10,416 No. 535 00:30:12,288 --> 00:30:13,202 No, no, no, no, no, no. 536 00:30:13,245 --> 00:30:14,768 Wait a minute... 538 00:30:17,946 --> 00:30:19,469 Listen to me, boy. 539 00:30:19,512 --> 00:30:21,384 You're back at the kiddie table on this one. 540 00:30:21,427 --> 00:30:23,212 That's official. 541 00:30:23,255 --> 00:30:26,432 Now shut your hole and listen to me talk. 542 00:30:34,701 --> 00:30:35,920 Trooper? 543 00:30:35,964 --> 00:30:37,835 Saved. 544 00:30:37,879 --> 00:30:39,837 From what? 545 00:30:39,881 --> 00:30:41,839 Concord grape, I think. 547 00:30:44,102 --> 00:30:46,888 How may I help you? 548 00:30:46,931 --> 00:30:48,498 Sure, well, I'm Deputy Olmstead... 549 00:30:48,541 --> 00:30:50,282 ...Scandia Police Department over in Minnesota. 550 00:30:50,326 --> 00:30:51,762 I wanted to ask you some questions 551 00:30:51,805 --> 00:30:53,111 about events that transpired last night. 552 00:30:53,155 --> 00:30:54,939 You and everybody else. 553 00:30:54,983 --> 00:30:57,028 Well, sir, I think I might have a piece of your puzzle. 554 00:30:57,072 --> 00:30:59,857 To wit, the identity of the missing female you assisted. 555 00:30:59,901 --> 00:31:03,252 If I'm right, which I think I am. 556 00:31:03,295 --> 00:31:05,384 Color me intrigued. 557 00:31:05,428 --> 00:31:07,778 Taken from her home yesterday afternoon by two men, we think. 558 00:31:07,821 --> 00:31:09,562 We found blood from one. 559 00:31:09,606 --> 00:31:12,130 Looks like she burned the other fella's face pretty bad. 560 00:31:12,174 --> 00:31:13,740 Sounds like my girl. 561 00:31:13,784 --> 00:31:15,264 Rambo, basically. 562 00:31:15,307 --> 00:31:19,442 Or, the other fella from the TV... 563 00:31:19,485 --> 00:31:21,792 - MacGyver. - Well, I got a picture. 565 00:31:24,273 --> 00:31:25,361 What do you know? 566 00:31:26,536 --> 00:31:28,320 It's a party. 567 00:31:28,364 --> 00:31:30,888 Indira Olmstead, Scandia Police Department. 568 00:31:30,932 --> 00:31:33,238 City girl. 569 00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:35,240 Well, we prefer "women" these days. 570 00:31:35,284 --> 00:31:37,199 But the rest is accurate. 571 00:31:37,242 --> 00:31:38,635 How can we help you, stranger? 572 00:31:38,678 --> 00:31:42,378 Sheriff's Deputy, Stark County. 573 00:31:42,421 --> 00:31:45,033 Sounds like you had a mix-up in my neck of the woods last night, 574 00:31:45,076 --> 00:31:48,079 which we run a pretty tight ship, so... 575 00:31:48,123 --> 00:31:50,038 I take it personal when bad men appear. 576 00:31:50,081 --> 00:31:52,301 This job will grind you down, you take it too personal. 577 00:31:52,344 --> 00:31:55,957 What can I say? I like being on the right side of a gunfight. 578 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,959 Heard you say you had a picture of the perps? 579 00:31:58,002 --> 00:32:00,874 - Victim. Female. - Right. 580 00:32:00,918 --> 00:32:04,617 Saw something about, a woman got taken. 581 00:32:04,661 --> 00:32:06,968 Or escaped or something? 582 00:32:07,011 --> 00:32:09,361 We think these fellas grabbed her up in Minnesota. 583 00:32:09,405 --> 00:32:12,103 Taking her to points west when the trooper pulled them over. 584 00:32:12,147 --> 00:32:14,671 She killed one, the recidivist Donald Ireland... 585 00:32:14,714 --> 00:32:17,804 ...I think they said. The other one got away. 586 00:32:17,848 --> 00:32:21,112 Sounds like a real Comanche, this female you're hunting. 587 00:32:21,156 --> 00:32:24,942 Like I said, I got a photo. Excuse me. 588 00:32:24,986 --> 00:32:28,032 So, what, she some kind of criminal, also? 589 00:32:28,076 --> 00:32:29,599 Not exactly. 590 00:32:29,642 --> 00:32:31,905 Had a mix-up at her daughter's school this week. 591 00:32:31,949 --> 00:32:33,342 Tased an officer by accident. 592 00:32:33,385 --> 00:32:34,778 How's that happen? 593 00:32:34,821 --> 00:32:36,258 Heat of the moment, I'm guessing. 594 00:32:36,301 --> 00:32:37,563 Used to be a saying: 595 00:32:37,607 --> 00:32:40,436 "Minnesota nice." But I was there. 596 00:32:40,479 --> 00:32:42,699 Nothing nice about Minnesota that day. 597 00:32:42,742 --> 00:32:44,701 Oops. What'd I do? 598 00:32:44,744 --> 00:32:47,225 - What did you...? - I must've, I don't know, I pressed something. 599 00:32:47,269 --> 00:32:50,359 Darn it, you deleted the victim, her photo. 600 00:32:50,402 --> 00:32:53,231 Yeah, me and technology don't see eye to eye. 601 00:32:53,275 --> 00:32:54,580 Especially now. 602 00:32:54,624 --> 00:32:57,061 This wrist-breaker... 603 00:32:57,105 --> 00:32:59,281 No, it's my fault. 604 00:32:59,324 --> 00:33:01,457 I'm not sure what I was thinking just bringing the one. 605 00:33:01,500 --> 00:33:04,068 Well, I sure hope you find her. 606 00:33:04,112 --> 00:33:06,418 If it was her, saved my life, I think. 607 00:33:06,462 --> 00:33:09,117 Oh, no, she's home. A little worse for wear 608 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,422 but intact. 609 00:33:10,466 --> 00:33:11,641 Strangest thing, though. 610 00:33:11,684 --> 00:33:13,338 Despite all evidence, 611 00:33:13,382 --> 00:33:15,253 she's claiming it never happened. 612 00:33:15,297 --> 00:33:17,342 Never... what now? 613 00:33:17,386 --> 00:33:18,909 Says nobody broke in. 614 00:33:18,952 --> 00:33:20,563 Says she wasn't taken. 615 00:33:20,606 --> 00:33:22,130 Just went for a wander for ten hours 616 00:33:22,173 --> 00:33:24,306 and then came home and cooked breakfast. 617 00:33:24,349 --> 00:33:26,177 Cry for attention, sounds like. 618 00:33:26,221 --> 00:33:29,615 Drama queen trying to make her husband sick. 619 00:33:29,659 --> 00:33:31,269 Who said she has a husband? 620 00:33:31,313 --> 00:33:32,923 No, I mean, I'm assuming. 621 00:33:32,966 --> 00:33:35,969 Description said 30s in the police report, so... 622 00:33:36,013 --> 00:33:37,667 Well, all I know is, the woman I met broke loose 623 00:33:37,710 --> 00:33:40,235 like somebody who knows how small the cage can get. 624 00:33:41,714 --> 00:33:43,412 Wish you had that picture. 625 00:33:43,455 --> 00:33:45,414 Like to meet that woman again, thank her. 626 00:33:45,457 --> 00:33:47,416 For what? Far as I can tell, 627 00:33:47,459 --> 00:33:49,418 she's the one got you shot in the first place. 628 00:33:49,461 --> 00:33:51,463 Oh, the job got me shot. 629 00:33:51,507 --> 00:33:53,552 She was just... 630 00:33:53,596 --> 00:33:55,728 trying to get free. 631 00:33:55,772 --> 00:33:57,382 But you know what they say. 632 00:33:57,426 --> 00:33:58,601 Protect and serve. 633 00:34:00,298 --> 00:34:03,127 Yeah, I'm down with "protect," but... 634 00:34:03,171 --> 00:34:04,781 I ain't in the service industry. 635 00:34:04,824 --> 00:34:08,654 I'm in the kicking ass and taking names business. 636 00:34:17,489 --> 00:34:19,100 You two have a nice day. 637 00:34:38,945 --> 00:34:41,122 Consider that bitch flummoxed. 638 00:35:14,024 --> 00:35:15,417 What the heck? 639 00:35:15,460 --> 00:35:17,245 Hiya, hon. 640 00:35:20,726 --> 00:35:22,075 What the heck? 641 00:35:22,119 --> 00:35:23,773 Made some shepherd's pie. 642 00:35:29,692 --> 00:35:31,259 Scotty. 643 00:35:32,303 --> 00:35:33,652 What you doing there? 644 00:35:33,696 --> 00:35:35,698 For security. Mom said. 645 00:35:35,741 --> 00:35:37,439 Yeah. 646 00:35:37,482 --> 00:35:38,483 Hon... 647 00:35:38,527 --> 00:35:41,269 Yeah? 648 00:35:41,312 --> 00:35:43,836 Why is there a sledgehammer over the front door? 649 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,448 Well, we talked about an alarm system, 650 00:35:46,491 --> 00:35:49,973 but you said we couldn't afford a good one, so we... 651 00:35:50,016 --> 00:35:51,757 Well, what the heck is...? 652 00:35:51,801 --> 00:35:53,368 Oh, no, hon, I wouldn't touch that. It's electrified. 653 00:35:53,411 --> 00:35:54,804 It's what? 654 00:35:54,847 --> 00:35:56,762 It's plugged into the wall. 655 00:35:56,806 --> 00:35:58,634 Anyone tries to bust in, 656 00:35:58,677 --> 00:36:00,679 well, they'll get a righteous shock. 657 00:36:06,424 --> 00:36:09,079 Hon, can we talk? I... 658 00:36:09,122 --> 00:36:12,343 Wait, how, I'm just gonna... 659 00:36:12,387 --> 00:36:13,953 How about you go upstairs and... 660 00:36:13,997 --> 00:36:16,739 watch some cartoons on your Samsung? 661 00:36:16,782 --> 00:36:19,045 Yeah? 662 00:36:21,744 --> 00:36:24,616 - Yeah. - Let me get my apron off at least. 663 00:36:28,577 --> 00:36:30,579 Mom came by the lot today. 664 00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:33,495 Well, her man did. 665 00:36:33,538 --> 00:36:34,931 She called in. 666 00:36:34,974 --> 00:36:36,759 Yeah, she... 667 00:36:36,802 --> 00:36:38,543 I saw her, too. 668 00:36:38,587 --> 00:36:40,023 But don't worry. 669 00:36:40,066 --> 00:36:42,112 I think we came to an understanding. 670 00:36:42,155 --> 00:36:43,722 She said that, or...? 671 00:36:43,766 --> 00:36:45,724 No. 672 00:36:45,768 --> 00:36:49,075 But women understand each other. 673 00:36:49,119 --> 00:36:52,165 Well, hon, I don't think you do... 674 00:36:52,209 --> 00:36:55,256 understand each other. 675 00:36:55,299 --> 00:36:57,780 She's litigating against you, see. 676 00:36:57,823 --> 00:37:00,522 She... 677 00:37:00,565 --> 00:37:02,828 Well, she thinks you made this whole thing up. 678 00:37:02,872 --> 00:37:06,789 I mean, the whole thing sounds... loony. 679 00:37:06,832 --> 00:37:10,488 But she thinks you're some kind of con woman. 680 00:37:10,532 --> 00:37:13,230 Playing us for our money. 681 00:37:13,274 --> 00:37:15,014 In league with the kidnappers. 682 00:37:15,058 --> 00:37:16,538 I just... 683 00:37:16,581 --> 00:37:20,324 Told you, there were no kidnappers, just... 684 00:37:20,368 --> 00:37:21,847 Drove around to clear your head. 685 00:37:21,891 --> 00:37:23,893 But, hon, the... 686 00:37:23,936 --> 00:37:25,808 The car was here the whole time. 687 00:37:25,851 --> 00:37:27,113 Walking, I said, or I... 688 00:37:27,157 --> 00:37:28,593 Listen, I believe you. 689 00:37:28,637 --> 00:37:31,335 I'm not the one you got to... I just... 690 00:37:31,379 --> 00:37:33,076 And she said she can get the cops out of the equation. 691 00:37:33,119 --> 00:37:36,732 You know, her friend the attorney general, but, hon... 692 00:37:36,775 --> 00:37:39,125 You know, from where she's sitting the whole thing 693 00:37:39,169 --> 00:37:40,823 don't make a lot of sense. 694 00:37:44,653 --> 00:37:47,090 But it makes sense to us. 695 00:37:48,091 --> 00:37:49,875 That's what matters, right? 696 00:37:49,919 --> 00:37:53,183 Yeah, maybe. 697 00:37:53,226 --> 00:37:57,796 But, hon... why is there a sledgehammer... 698 00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,494 ...in the vestibule? 699 00:37:59,537 --> 00:38:02,323 And how come Scotty's making a zombie killer? 700 00:38:02,366 --> 00:38:05,238 Well, like she said. Security. 701 00:38:05,282 --> 00:38:06,457 From what? 702 00:38:06,501 --> 00:38:07,893 Hon... 703 00:38:07,937 --> 00:38:09,634 No, I'm just trying to, you know... 704 00:38:09,678 --> 00:38:13,464 No. You can't. You weren't there. 705 00:38:13,508 --> 00:38:14,987 At the school board. 706 00:38:15,988 --> 00:38:19,078 Neighbor against neighbor. 707 00:38:19,122 --> 00:38:20,645 Society's breaking down here. 708 00:38:20,689 --> 00:38:22,343 The social structure. 709 00:38:22,386 --> 00:38:25,302 What side you're on, whether you're for or against... 710 00:38:25,346 --> 00:38:28,914 I'm just saying... 711 00:38:30,133 --> 00:38:31,700 We need to wake up here. 712 00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:34,180 Protect ourselves, in case... 713 00:38:34,224 --> 00:38:35,965 In case what? 714 00:38:36,008 --> 00:38:38,315 In case... 715 00:38:38,359 --> 00:38:41,013 ruffians at the door. 716 00:38:41,057 --> 00:38:44,190 Or Mr. Abernathy decides he wants revenge. 717 00:38:44,234 --> 00:38:46,062 Or a thousand other maybes. 718 00:38:46,105 --> 00:38:47,716 Who? 719 00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:49,152 Scotty's math teacher. 720 00:38:49,195 --> 00:38:50,458 The fella I tased before the cop. 721 00:38:50,501 --> 00:38:51,981 You tased the math teacher? 722 00:38:52,024 --> 00:38:53,722 Well... 723 00:38:53,765 --> 00:38:55,593 I got a bad feeling, hon. 724 00:38:55,637 --> 00:38:57,595 - Yeah. - People do. 725 00:38:57,639 --> 00:38:59,336 It's not just me. 726 00:38:59,380 --> 00:39:01,904 And I'm not saying that we should build a bunker. 727 00:39:01,947 --> 00:39:05,081 Or stockpile long guns. 728 00:39:05,124 --> 00:39:06,648 A few common sense... 729 00:39:06,691 --> 00:39:09,781 Hon, you got electric wire on the windows. 730 00:39:09,825 --> 00:39:11,217 A few practical solutions. 731 00:39:11,261 --> 00:39:13,089 Unless you're ready to step up 732 00:39:13,132 --> 00:39:17,006 and go state of the art, really sink some capital into it. 733 00:39:17,049 --> 00:39:20,357 Should we, I don't know, should we get a gun? 734 00:39:20,401 --> 00:39:24,143 See? Oh. Now you're thinking. 735 00:39:24,187 --> 00:39:26,842 A gun is a great idea. We should get a shotgun. 736 00:39:26,885 --> 00:39:28,626 And maybe a pistol for the bedroom. 737 00:39:28,670 --> 00:39:31,281 And maybe we could replace my Taser, too. 738 00:39:31,324 --> 00:39:34,023 And, I don't know, maybe some kind of net. 739 00:39:34,066 --> 00:39:36,417 - Just in case they... - A net? 741 00:39:37,461 --> 00:39:38,810 All I'm saying is, 742 00:39:38,854 --> 00:39:40,943 now we're speaking the same language. 743 00:39:44,207 --> 00:39:45,730 Oh, you're such a gentle guy. 744 00:39:45,774 --> 00:39:47,079 - Yeah. - Yeah. 745 00:39:47,123 --> 00:39:49,430 I know how hard this is. 746 00:39:50,561 --> 00:39:52,433 I just want to play floor hockey 747 00:39:52,476 --> 00:39:55,740 in my socks with Scotty again and watch Real Housewives. 748 00:39:55,784 --> 00:39:57,220 I know. 749 00:39:58,351 --> 00:40:00,789 And we can and we will. 750 00:40:00,832 --> 00:40:05,097 Hey. We just got to take care of a few things first. 751 00:40:11,408 --> 00:40:14,063 All I ever wanted was... 752 00:40:15,107 --> 00:40:17,849 You're my dream come true. 753 00:40:21,592 --> 00:40:24,029 And you're mine. 754 00:40:30,427 --> 00:40:32,603 Come on, mister. 755 00:40:32,647 --> 00:40:34,823 Before your daughter's brain turns to sludge. 756 00:40:34,866 --> 00:40:36,825 Yeah. 757 00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:38,522 Hey, Scotty. 758 00:40:41,046 --> 00:40:42,874 Let's eat! 765 00:41:02,415 --> 00:41:04,156 Pull in here. I got to take a piss. 776 00:41:36,624 --> 00:41:38,974 - Want a pop? - No, I'm fine. 778 00:42:47,738 --> 00:42:49,348 I got us some jerky. 779 00:42:51,481 --> 00:42:52,917 Spicy kind. 780 00:42:52,961 --> 00:42:55,398 You better keep those windows down. 781 00:43:13,329 --> 00:43:14,852 Fuck, that's hot. 782 00:43:31,042 --> 00:43:33,697 Where is this guy? 783 00:43:39,747 --> 00:43:41,313 Oh, my God. 784 00:43:42,271 --> 00:43:43,968 Oh, my God. 785 00:44:03,466 --> 00:44:04,902 Oh, shit. 786 00:44:08,471 --> 00:44:10,125 Oh, shit.