1
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,403
<i>This is Zero One Alpha.
We have secured Falcon.</i>

2
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,604
<i>I say again, we have secured Falcon.</i>

3
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,246
By the time I count to 10...

4
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,527
...you will have told me
exactly what I need to know.

5
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:51,967
If not...

6
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,047
...the number 10 will be the
last thing you will ever hear.

7
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:57,082
1

8
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,043
2

9
00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:58,724
3

10
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,208
4

11
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:01,642
5

12
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:02,682
6

13
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:03,802
7

14
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:04,563
8

15
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,364
<i>Grenade! Sir, get back!</i>

16
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,051
Shit.

17
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,290
Fucking missed it.

18
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,882
How did I fucking miss it?

19
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,684
Merlin, I apologize for putting
you in this position.

20
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,405
You trained him well.

21
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,970
James...

22
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,202
training is over.

23
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,442
Welcome to Kingsman.

24
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,246
Lancelot.

25
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,401
Sir.

26
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,770
I'll deal with this mess personally.

27
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,923
<i>I very much regret that your husband's
bravery can't be publicly celebrated.</i>

28
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,406
I hope you understand.

29
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,085
How can I understand?

30
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,242
You won't tell me anything.

31
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,600
I didn't even know
he wasn't with his squad.

32
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,966
I'm so sorry, I can't say more.

33
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,449
But I would like to present you
with this Medal of Valor...

34
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:20,969
and if you look closely on the back,
there's a number.

35
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,846
And as a more concrete gesture
of our gratitude...

36
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,923
we'd like to offer you...

37
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,441
Let's call it a favor.

38
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,130
The nature of it is your choice.

39
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,645
Just tell the operator...

40
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,522
"oxfords not brogues,"
and then I'll know it's you.

41
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,531
I don't want your help!

42
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,081
I want my husband back!

43
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,126
What's your name, young man?

44
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:52,522
Eggsy-

45
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,125
Hello, Eggsy-

46
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,531
Can I see that?

47
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,288
You take care of this, Eggsy.

48
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,691
All right?

49
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,205
And take care of your mum, too.

50
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,726
So sorry, Professor Arnold.
Just a tiny bit more.

51
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,406
For God's sakes, just rip it off.

52
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,087
I'm under very strict instructions
not to hurt you.

53
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,521
Look, you've made a mistake.

54
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,445
I'm a university lecturer.
I've got no money.

55
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,090
This isn't about money.

56
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,208
Our boss just wants to talk to you.

57
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,283
Am I meant to find that reassuring?

58
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,568
He'll be here soon. He'll explain.

59
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,370
Do you like whiskey?

60
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,771
Red, get the '62 Dalmore.

61
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,129
Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing.

62
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,249
You will shit.

63
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,923
I suppose asking to borrow
a cup of sugar is a step too far?

64
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:19,811
Professor Arnold,
I'm here to take you home.

65
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,443
1962 Dalmore.

66
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,683
It'd be a sin to spill any.

67
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,805
Don't you think?

68
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,688
Can you hold these? Please?

69
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,882
Thank you.

70
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,568
Everything is clean.

71
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,045
My kind of welcome.

72
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,568
No stomach for violence.

73
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,643
I mean, literally,
I see one drop of blood...

74
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,723
that is me done.

75
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,081
I'm like...

76
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,571
projectile.

77
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,927
Listen, I'm so sorry...

78
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:16,450
you had to witness all this unpleasantness
due to our uninvited guest.

79
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,770
But I promise you, by the time
I've found out who he works for...

80
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:25,244
you and I will be the best of friends.

81
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,888
To the shop, please.

82
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,361
Arthur's in the dining room, sir.

83
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,006
Arthur.

84
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,406
Galahad.

85
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:16,282
The others were beginning to wonder
if we were going to have a double toast.

86
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,931
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to
say it's been 17 years...

87
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,487
since we last had occasion
to use this decanter.

88
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,763
Lancelot was an outstanding agent,
and a true Kingsman.

89
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,371
He will be sorely missed.

90
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:34,921
To Lancelot.

91
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,410
To Lancelot.

92
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:46,480
I intend to start the selection process
for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow.

93
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,161
I want each of you
to propose a candidate...

94
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,687
and have them report to UK HQ...

95
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,008
no later than 9 p.m. GMT.

96
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,482
Thank you.

97
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:58,842
Merlin.

98
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,530
Come in.

99
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,566
Lancelot was investigating
a group of mercenaries...

100
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,451
who were experimenting
with biological weaponry.

101
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:08,601
Glasses, gentlemen, please.

102
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,601
Uganda, 2012.

103
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,290
Synthetic cathinones.

104
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,887
They put it in the water supply
of a guerrilla army base.

105
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:22,283
Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities.

106
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,130
Chechnya, 2013.

107
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,090
Insurgents turned on one another.

108
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,006
Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries,
but no trace of any chemicals of any kind.

109
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,241
So what happened to Lancelot?

110
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,289
He tracked them to this property
in Argentina.

111
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:37,766
While he had them under surveillance...

112
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,763
he became aware
they'd effected a kidnapping.

113
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,605
So he executed a solo rescue mission,
which failed.

114
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,005
This is his last transmission.

115
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,526
- Who is he?
- Some climate change doomsayer.

116
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,205
Expounds something
called "Gaia theory"...

117
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,124
about the world healing itself,
or some such.

118
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,171
But what's curious,
is he's not actually missing.

119
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,967
This is Professor Arnold...

120
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,168
at Imperial College this morning.

121
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,004
It's all yours.

122
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,487
And don't forget
your membership proposal.

123
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,723
Try picking a more suitable
candidate this time.

124
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,769
17 years and still...

125
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:18,561
evolving with the times remains
an entirely foreign concept to you.

126
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,809
Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for that young man?

127
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,566
He was as much Kingsman
material as any of them.

128
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:25,926
More so.

129
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,124
But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he?

130
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,487
Let's face it, Galahad,
your little experiment failed.

131
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,686
With respect, Arthur, you're a snob.

132
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:38,961
"With respect"?

133
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,322
The world is changing.

134
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,485
There's a reason why aristocrats
developed weak chins.

135
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:05,968
Eggsy?

136
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,204
Eggsy, come here.

137
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,209
- Got any Rizla, babe?
- No.

138
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,408
Why don't you do your mum a favor,
go down to the shop and get some?

139
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:18,891
- Get them yourself.
- Oi.

140
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,691
What have I said to you
about speaking to Dean like that?

141
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,327
Three's a crowd, innit?
Why don't Dean's poodle go?

142
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,970
I'll tell you what.

143
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,884
Why don't you take this,
go and get some Rizlas...

144
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,883
get yourself some sweets?
And while you're gone...

145
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,964
we'll show your mother
how three can be good company.

146
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,402
Thanks, babe.

147
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,964
There we go.

148
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,166
Is that better?

149
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,321
If Dean treats your mum so bad,
why doesn't she leave him?

150
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,448
Low self-esteem. That's her problem.

151
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,369
Fuck off.
Why would she have low self-esteem?

152
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,369
Eggsy's mum is well fit.

153
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,882
- No offense, bruv.
- it's all right.

154
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,121
One of these days,
I'm gonna smash his face in.

155
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:20,725
Are you mental, cuz?

156
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,565
He'd just get that lot to do you,
and then pretend he knew nothing--

157
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:26,927
...about it.

158
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,767
You think you can chat shit about us
and we won't do nothing...

159
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,082
just because our guvnor's
banging Eggsy's mum?

160
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,083
Pretty much, yeah.

161
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,402
Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man.

162
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,482
It's not worth it.

163
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,246
You boys have outstayed your welcome.

164
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,402
Leave.

165
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,321
What?

166
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,923
I'm sorry about that, bruv.

167
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:50,808
Yeah.

168
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,127
Mug-

169
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,402
They weren't fucking worth it, boys.

170
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,768
It's freezing. Why are we walking?

171
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,763
You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv?

172
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,446
Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car.

173
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,451
Shit!

174
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,810
Hold on, boys.

175
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,049
Hey, that's my fucking car!

176
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,441
Hey! Hey! Eggsy!

177
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,648
I swear, you want to fucking stop it!

178
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,366
You're a fucking dead man! Stop it!

179
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,281
I'm gonna fucking have ya!

180
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,965
Floor it, Eggsy!

181
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:37,962
Floor it!

182
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,080
Wanker!

183
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,445
Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me.

184
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,602
Eggsy just stole my fucking car.

185
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,604
I've come out the pub,
he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face...

186
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,330
and he's drove off.

187
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,608
No, I can't have it!
He's disrespecting me.

188
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,967
And that means,
he's disrespecting you.

189
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,004
Hold up! What the...?

190
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:39,682
Dickhead.

191
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,643
Foxes are vermin, cuz.

192
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,245
Should've driven it over.

193
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,368
Should've done a lot of things.

194
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,204
I'll sort this. Get out of the car.

195
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,888
I said, get out of the fucking car!

196
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,848
<i>Eggsy, there is no such thing
as honor amongst thieves.</i>

197
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,561
Now, you can start giving me some names
of the boys you were with...

198
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,565
or you go down.

199
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,771
It's up to you.

200
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,564
I want to exercise
my right to a phone call.

201
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,762
Well, I hope it's to your mum...

202
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,447
to tell her you're gonna be
18 months late for your dinner.

203
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,767
<i>Customer Complaints, how may I help you?</i>

204
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,130
My name's Eggsy Unwin.

205
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:05,763
Sorry, Gary Unwin.
And I'm up shit creek.

206
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,200
I'm in Holborn police station...

207
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,044
and my mum said to call this number
if ever I needed help.

208
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,680
<i>I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number.</i>

209
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,211
Wait! Wait!

210
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,201
Oxfords not brogues.

211
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,325
<i>Your complaint has been duly noted...</i>

212
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,643
<i>and we hope that we have
not lost you as a loyal customer.</i>

213
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,041
Yeah.

214
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,971
You what?

215
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,367
I

216
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,801
Yeah.

217
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,171
Yes, I totally understand.

218
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:06,766
Eggsy-

219
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:08,886
Would you like a lift home?

220
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,841
Who are you?

221
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,365
The man who got you released.

222
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:13,851
That ain't an answer.

223
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,367
A little gratitude would be nice.

224
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:20,842
My name is Harry Hart,
and I gave you that medal.

225
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,402
Your father saved my life.

226
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,808
So before you was a tailor,
was you in the army?

227
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,691
Like an officer.

228
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,370
Not quite.

229
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,329
So where was you posted,
Iraq or something?

230
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,767
Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.

231
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,365
But my dad saved your life, yeah?

232
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,927
The day your father died,
I missed something.

233
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,166
And if it weren't for his courage...

234
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,244
my mistake would have cost the lives
of every man present.

235
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,685
So I owe him.

236
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,888
Your father was a brave man.

237
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,889
A good man.

238
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,087
And having read your files...

239
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,681
I think he'd be bitterly disappointed
in the choices you've made.

240
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,001
You can't talk to me like that.

241
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,087
Huge l.Q.

242
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,129
Great performance at primary school.

243
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,371
And it all went tits up.

244
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,251
Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job.

245
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,084
You think there's a lot of jobs
going around here, do you?

246
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,730
Doesn't explain
why you gave up your hobbies.

247
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,491
First prize,
regional Under-10s gymnastics...

248
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,880
2 years in a row.

249
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,247
Your coach had you pegged
as Olympic team material.

250
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,084
Yeah, well, when you grow up around
someone like my stepdad...

251
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,730
you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.

252
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,609
Of course. Always someone else's fault.

253
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,004
Who's to blame
for you quitting the Marines?

254
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,561
You were halfway through training,
doing brilliantly, but you gave up.

255
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,722
Because my mum went mental.

256
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,690
Banging on about losing me
as well as my dad.

257
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,286
Didn't want me being cannon fodder
for snobs like you.

258
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,841
Judging people like me
from your ivory towers...

259
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,241
with no thought about
why we do what we do.

260
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,286
We ain't got much choice. You get me?

261
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,121
And if we was born with the same
silver spoon up our arses...

262
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,124
we'd do just as well as you.
If not, better.

263
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,124
What the fuck you doing here?
You taking the piss?

264
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,081
Some more examples of young men...

265
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,969
who simply need a silver suppository?

266
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,645
No, they're exceptions. Come on.

267
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,245
Nonsense.
We haven't finished our drinks.

268
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,481
After you nicked his car...

269
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,966
Dean says you're fair game.

270
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,610
He don't give a shit what your mum says.

271
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,131
Listen, boys...

272
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,488
I've had a rather emotional day...

273
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,964
so whatever your beef with Eggsy is,
and I'm sure it's well-founded...

274
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,810
I'd appreciate it enormously...

275
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,928
if you could just leave us in peace...

276
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,651
until I finish
this lovely pint of Guinness.

277
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,371
You should get out of the way, Granddad,
or you'll get hurt and all.

278
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,005
He ain't joking. You should go.

279
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,001
Excuse me.

280
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,525
If you're looking for another rent boy,
they're on the corner of Smith street.

281
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:53,806
Manners...

282
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,286
maketh...

283
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,565
man.

284
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,804
Do you know what that means?

285
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,842
Then let me teach you a lesson.

286
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,763
Are we going to stand around here all day,
or are we going to fight?

287
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,569
You fucking dirty, fucking dirty--

288
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,211
Sorry about that.

289
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,124
Needed to let off a little steam.

290
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,807
I heard yesterday a friend of mine died.

291
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,008
He knew your father too, actually.

292
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,648
Now, I do apologize, Eggsy.

293
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,802
I shouldn't have done this
in front of you.

294
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,962
No, please!
I won't say nothing, I swear!

295
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,650
If there's one thing I can do,
it's keep my mouth shut.

296
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,165
- You won't tell a soul?
- Ask the feds.

297
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,321
I've never grassed anyone up.

298
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,801
- Is that a promise?
- On my life!

299
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,843
Much appreciated, Eggsy.

300
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,764
You're right about the snobs.

301
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,161
But there, too, there are exceptions.

302
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,889
Best of luck with everything.

303
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:52,444
<i>In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine
movie premiered in Hollywood last night.</i>

304
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,410
<i>The story of the internet billionaire's
rise to power...</i>

305
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,370
<i>is expected to be
this award season's hot ticket.</i>

306
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,524
<i>One notable absence from the red carpet
was Iggy Azalea...</i>

307
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,207
<i>still missing 3 days after she failed
to appear at her Oakland concert.</i>

308
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:06,930
<i>No ransom has been demanded.</i>

309
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,048
Eggsy, just go, please,
because he's gonna...

310
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,730
No, please, don't hurt him!

311
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,564
Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya!

312
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:14,966
Shut the fuck up!

313
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,248
Who was with you in that fucking pub?

314
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,562
I want to know the name of the geezer
you was with.

315
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,563
- I wasn't with no one!
- Who was it?

316
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,131
- I don't know what you're on about.
- Who was it?

317
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:24,441
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!

318
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,726
Fucking tell me his name!

319
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,201
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!

320
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,441
<i>You listen to me!</i>

321
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,568
<i>I want to know who you was with in that pub.
Do you understand?</i>

322
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,609
<i>I want to know his fucking name!</i>

323
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,730
<i>Because, I swear,
I'll rip your head off.</i>

324
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,963
<i>- Tell me!
- I don't know what you're fucking on about!</i>

325
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:45,167
Just tell him, Eggsy!

326
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,129
Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle!

327
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,566
I could kill you right now...

328
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,246
and no one in the whole world
will notice!

329
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,084
<i>But I would.</i>

330
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,083
I have enough evidence
on your activities...

331
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,242
to have you locked up
for the rest of your life...

332
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,641
- Mr. Dean Anthony Baker.
- What the fuck?

333
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,410
<i>So I suggest you leave the boy alone...</i>

334
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,161
<i>or I shall be forced to deliver it
to the appropriate authorities.</i>

335
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,731
<i>Eggsy, meet me at the tailor
I told you about.</i>

336
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,360
What the fuck's going on here?

337
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,526
Eggsy, you fucking maggot!

338
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,886
Hey, we got a racer!

339
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,530
Come here. Hey!

340
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,366
Eggsy. you fucking--

341
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,806
Come here, son!

342
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,321
You wanker!

343
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,130
I'll have you, son!

344
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,562
I've never met a tailor before.

345
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,731
But I know you ain't one.

346
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,364
Come with me.

347
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,326
Come on in.

348
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,041
What do you see?

349
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,563
Someone who wants to know
what the fuck is going on.

350
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,607
I see a young man with potential.

351
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,684
A young man who is loyal.

352
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,569
Who can do as he's asked.

353
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,530
And who wants to do
something good with his life.

354
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,122
<i>Did you see the film Trading Places?</i>

355
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,205
No.

356
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,125
<i>How about Nikita?</i>

357
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,531
<i>Pretty Woman?</i>

358
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,521
All right.

359
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,729
My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon
has set you on a certain path...

360
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,723
but you needn't stay on it.

361
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:06,807
If you're prepared to adapt and learn,
you can transform.

362
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,203
<i>Like in My Fair Lady.</i>

363
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,288
Well, you're full of surprises.

364
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,245
<i>Yes, like My Fair Lady.</i>

365
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:19,608
Only, in this case, I'm offering you
the opportunity to become a Kingsman.

366
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,611
A tailor?

367
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,411
A Kingsman agent.

368
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,246
Like a spy?

369
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:27,566
Of sorts.

370
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:30,402
Interested?

371
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,242
You think I've got anything to lose?

372
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,765
Since 1849...

373
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:46,084
Kingsman tailors have clothed
the world's most powerful individuals.

374
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:50,928
By 1919, a great number of them
had lost their heirs to World War One.

375
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,082
That meant a lot of money
going uninherited.

376
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,290
And a lot of powerful men with a desire
to preserve peace and protect life.

377
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,364
Our founders realized that they could
channel that wealth and influence...

378
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,170
for the greater good.

379
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,608
And so began our other venture.

380
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,761
An independent,
international intelligence agency...

381
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,288
operating at the highest level
of discretion.

382
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,570
Above the politics and bureaucracy...

383
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,930
that undermine the integrity
of government-run spy organizations.

384
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,007
The suit is a modern gentleman's armor.

385
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,923
And the Kingsman agents
are the new knights.

386
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,604
How deep does this fucking thing go?

387
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:31,807
Deep enough.

388
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,164
Shit, we're late.

389
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,366
Your father had the
same look on his face.

390
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,405
As did I.

391
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,206
Come on.

392
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,047
Galahad.

393
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,201
My code name.

394
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:57,850
Late again, sir.

395
00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:59,531
Good luck.

396
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,211
In you go.

397
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:13,881
Fall in.

398
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,964
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin.

399
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,201
You are about to embark...

400
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,091
on what is probably the most
dangerous job interview in the world.

401
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:28,767
One of you, and only one of you,
will become the next Lancelot.

402
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,763
Can anybody tell me what this is?

403
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,244
- Yes?
- Body bag, sir.

404
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,721
Correct. Charlie, isn't it?

405
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:38,807
Yes, sir.

406
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:39,722
Good.

407
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,247
In a moment,
you will each collect a body bag.

408
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,249
You will write your name on that bag.

409
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,843
You will write the details
of your next of kin on that bag.

410
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,288
This represents your acknowledgment
of the risks that you are about to face...

411
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,729
as well as your agreement
to strict confidentiality.

412
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,963
Which, incidentally, if you break,
will result in you...

413
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,561
and your next of kin...

414
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,610
being in that bag.

415
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,691
Is that understood?

416
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,361
Excellent.

417
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,246
Fall out.

418
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,961
Roxanne. But call me Roxy.

419
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,131
- I'm Eggsy-
- "Eggy"?

420
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,247
No, Eggsy

421
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:24,771
Eggy?

422
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,046
Where did they dig you up?

423
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,328
You know we're not allowed
to discuss who proposed us.

424
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:29,766
No need to bite his head off.

425
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,287
Charlie's only making conversation,
right, Charlie?

426
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,120
I'm Digby.

427
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:36,083
Digby-.

428
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,651
Eggy, this is Rufus.

429
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,325
Rufus, Eggsy-

430
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,290
So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge?

431
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:45,443
Neither.

432
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,931
- Saint Andrews?
- Durham?

433
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,003
No, wait, I think we may have met.

434
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,721
Did you serve me at the McDonald's
in Winchester service station?

435
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:53,568
No.

436
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,806
It's definitely Saint Andrews.

437
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,566
Just ignore them.

438
00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:59,801
You need a pen?

439
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:00,722
Cheers.

440
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,291
Amelia, isn't it?

441
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:03,891
Amelia, Eggsy-

442
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,201
Hi, Eggsy-

443
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,324
Don't take any notice of those guys.

444
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,164
That's what I told him.

445
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:12,686
It's just scare tactics.

446
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,565
Classic army technique.

447
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:15,881
No one's gonna die.

448
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,246
Shame.

449
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,567
Great. You don't know,
the CIA don't know.

450
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,246
Nobody knows who this guy is?

451
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,001
Fine.

452
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:31,525
Seriously, it's fine.

453
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:35,566
Well, it's not really fine,
but it's not why I'm here.

454
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:39,207
Hell, man, you know me.
Money's not my issue.

455
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,089
I could've retired
straight out of MIT...

456
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,720
fucked off to some island,
let the business run itself.

457
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,645
Nobody told me
to try and save the planet.

458
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,450
I wanted to.

459
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:52,321
Climate change research,
lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars...

460
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,289
and you know why I quit?

461
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:59,487
Because the last time I checked,
the planet was still fucked.

462
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,326
Hence, my epiphany-

463
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,245
Money won't solve this.

464
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,080
Those idiots
who call themselves politicians...

465
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,290
have buried their heads in the sand
and stood for nothing but re-election.

466
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:17,404
So I spent the last 2 years
trying to find a real solution.

467
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,923
And I found it.

468
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,129
Now, if you really want to make
the world a better place...

469
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:28,763
I suggest you open your fucking ears,
because I'm about to tell it to you.

470
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,803
Go on, Mr. Valentine.

471
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,485
I'm still listening.

472
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:37,171
As long as you agree to all my terms.

473
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,885
All right, no one panic. Listen to me.

474
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,207
Stay calm.

475
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:29,723
Fuck.

476
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,405
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels!

477
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:34,647
Loo snorkels?

478
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,648
Showerheads!

479
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:37,722
Showerheads?

480
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,325
She's right. Fucking go!

481
00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:43,766
Hey, hang about,
what's wrong with the fucking door?

482
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,250
Congratulations on completing
your first task.

483
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,171
Charlie, Roxy, well done.

484
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,129
For those of you
who are still confused...

485
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,487
if you can get a breathing tube
around a U-bend of a toilet...

486
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,483
you have an unlimited air supply.

487
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,120
Simple physics, worth remembering.

488
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,608
Eggsy, well done for spotting
that was a two-way mirror.

489
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:26,761
He's probably seen enough of them.

490
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,810
Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks
off your faces.

491
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,800
Because as far as I'm concerned,
every single one of you has failed.

492
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,209
You all forgot
the most important thing...

493
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,486
teamwork.

494
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,331
So much for classic army technique.

495
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:00,760
35.

496
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:02,805
105.

497
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,761
That's it. That's it.

498
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:11,043
Hello.

499
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:12,847
Can I help you?

500
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,408
Yes. I have a question
about anthropogenic force.

501
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,009
Really? It's actually quite fascinating.

502
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,530
My colleague died
trying to rescue you...

503
00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,404
and I'm sure you saw
how well trained he was...

504
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,166
so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped
you and why they let you go.

505
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,084
I have no idea what you're talking--

506
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,121
I'm not supposed to say it, but it was--

507
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,204
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.

508
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:37,691
Man up!

509
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,443
Fuck that guy, whoever he is.
I'm gonna--

510
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,968
He made me kill Professor Arnold.

511
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,451
I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.

512
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,681
Well, the good news is...

513
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:08,649
we know the emergency
and surveillance system work.

514
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,768
You know what's not good news?

515
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,649
"My colleague died!"

516
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,211
That's what he said!

517
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,727
This is an organization,
and they're all over us.

518
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,724
- Whoever you spoke to--
- I told you...

519
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,441
I made contact with the KGB, MI6,
Mossad and Beijing.

520
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,011
They all insist he wasn't one of theirs.

521
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:25,726
Beijing-

522
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:30,404
So freaky how there's no recognizable name
for the Chinese secret service.

523
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,002
Now, that's what you call
a secret, right?

524
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,769
You know what? Fuck it.

525
00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:37,810
We need to speed things up.

526
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,331
Bring the product release forward.

527
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,323
We're only halfway into production...

528
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:42,925
and speeding it will cost a fortune.

529
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:44,366
Do I look like I give a fuck?

530
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,443
Just get it done.

531
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,531
As some of you will
have learned last night...

532
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,169
teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman.

533
00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:00,120
We're here to enhance your skills,
test you to the limit.

534
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,727
Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy.

535
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,723
Wherever you go, your dog goes.

536
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,087
You will care for it. You will teach it.

537
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,329
And by the time it's fully trained,
so will you be.

538
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,086
Those of you who are still here,
that is.

539
00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:16,163
Do you understand?

540
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,249
Choose your puppy-

541
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,081
A Doodle?

542
00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:23,082
What?

543
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:24,924
They're gun dogs.

544
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:26,570
Oldest working breed.

545
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,524
Easy to train.

546
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:30,846
A pug?

547
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:33,884
It's a bulldog, innit?

548
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,685
It'll get bigger, though, won't it?

549
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,728
Shit.

550
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:49,042
His MRI shows no signs of concussion.

551
00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:52,210
No direct brain trauma at all.

552
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,602
How much longer can he be out?

553
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:55,921
That's the million-dollar question.

554
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:57,929
We don't know
what he was exposed to in there.

555
00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,565
What about Harry's footage?

556
00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:01,404
It didn't stream to his home terminal.

557
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,530
Encrypted and uncrackable.

558
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:05,921
If and when he comes around...

559
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,686
you might want to have a word with him
about sharing his password.

560
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,530
Is he gonna be all right?

561
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:13,370
We need to have patience, Eggsy.

562
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,131
But there's hope, okay?

563
00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,404
If I were you,
I'd concentrate on your training.

564
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,762
Make it through the tests.
Make him proud.

565
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:28,890
Come on, come on, come on!

566
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,122
J.B., come on! Come on!

567
00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:36,242
I'm not coming last because of you.

568
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,560
J.B., I'll shoot you!
Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you!

569
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,484
Merlin said we're not
allowed to hold you.

570
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,165
Bollocks.

571
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:29,647
Water!

572
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,450
- Come on, then!
- Eggsy, forget it!

573
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,125
What's wrong, mate?
You can't take a joke?

574
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,442
Seriously, you'll get thrown out,
and it's just not worth it.

575
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,130
Maybe I don't give a fuck
if I get kicked out!

576
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:41,645
Do it. Come on, you pleb.

577
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,211
Charlie, fuck off!

578
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,290
Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead.

579
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:50,721
Come on, J.B.

580
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,961
Come on, good boy.

581
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,161
You have exactly one hour
to complete the test...

582
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,890
starting now.

583
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,689
<i>New target, 800 meters.</i>

584
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,484
<i>You know, it's unbelievable.
You're still here...</i>

585
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:19,167
lingering like some
big, steaming shit that just won't flush.

586
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,845
Roger that. Target identified.

587
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,002
And how about you shut the fuck up?

588
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:24,286
Positive discrimination...

589
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:25,885
that's what it is.

590
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:29,203
It's like those fucking state school kids
who get into Oxford on C grades...

591
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,004
because their mum
is a one-legged lesbian.

592
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,685
You don't know fuck all about my grades.

593
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,729
Forgive me,
I'm sure you're highly educated.

594
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,370
Fire when ready.

595
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,522
How's that for positive discrimination?

596
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,009
I want to thank you both
for listening...

597
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,243
and I really, really appreciate
you travelling all this way...

598
00:42:58,400 --> 00:42:59,401
Your Royal Highness.

599
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:01,364
And you, too, Prime Minister.

600
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,569
I think this is quite brilliant.

601
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,566
It's absolutely brilliant.

602
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,164
You are completely crazy.

603
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:14,770
And as for you, Prime Minister

604
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,087
I'm speechless you'd even consider this.

605
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,370
- Don't touch--
- Sorry, Your Royal Highness.

606
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:26,567
But you've got a big role to play...

607
00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:29,291
in getting the Scandinavian
region back on track.

608
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:30,965
You're popular, inspirational...

609
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,566
and you have the power
to galvanize the people.

610
00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:36,564
Now, whether you're on board or not...

611
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:38,370
I'm going to have to insist...

612
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,410
on getting you somewhere
I can ensure your safety.

613
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,127
How about you, Prime Minister?
You in or out?

614
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,605
Well, I think it's about time...

615
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:51,448
that a politician did something
that actually made a difference.

616
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,763
Too true.

617
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:54,762
What?

618
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:56,251
Take her away.

619
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:00,762
Drink?

620
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,285
Why not?

621
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,168
Guards! Help!

622
00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:07,968
Don't worry.

623
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,605
No harm will come to the princess.

624
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:14,250
Well, I'm a republican anyways,
so it really doesn't matter.

625
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:16,568
Release the princess!

626
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:51,641
Okay, you're done.

627
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,325
Not so bad, right?

628
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,683
Hardly felt a thing.

629
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,490
Welcome aboard.

630
00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,803
Pleasure is all mine.

631
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,121
Ever heard of knocking?

632
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:09,685
Only when I'm casing a place to rob.

633
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:12,321
Merlin said you wanted to see me?

634
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,688
I hope J.B.'s training
is going as well as yours is.

635
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,007
Sit.

636
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,410
Congratulations on making it
to the final 6 candidates.

637
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,040
Your test results were even better
than I could've hoped.

638
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:28,841
Come in.

639
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,691
Eggsy, I need to have
a private conversation.

640
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:36,807
You're dismissed.

641
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,684
Nonsense. Let him observe.

642
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:40,524
Might learn a thing or two.

643
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,042
As you wish. Take a look at this.

644
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,009
<i>For God's sake, I've barely touched you.</i>

645
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,002
<i>Man up!</i>

646
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:48,364
Fucking hell!

647
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,488
That is rank, Harry.

648
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,565
You blew up his head?

649
00:45:52,720 --> 00:45:54,165
It's a bit much, innit?

650
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:58,006
Actually, the explosion was caused
by an implant in his neck.

651
00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,725
Here, under the scar.

652
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,566
Did my hardware
pick up the signal that triggered it?

653
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:04,245
Fortunately, yes.

654
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,528
Unfortunately,
the IP address I traced it to...

655
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,887
is registered
to the Valentine Corporation.

656
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,884
That's not much of a lead.
He has millions of employees worldwide.

657
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,242
That Richmond Valentine is a genius.

658
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,047
Did you not see his announcement today?

659
00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:21,926
No.

660
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,521
<i>We each spend on average
$2,000 a year...</i>

661
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:31,609
<i>on cell phone and internet usage.</i>

662
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,889
<i>It gives me great pleasure
to announce...</i>

663
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,611
<i>those days are over.</i>

664
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:38,807
<i>As of tomorrow...</i>

665
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:42,806
<i>every man, woman and child
can claim a free SIM card...</i>

666
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:47,090
<i>compatible with any cell phone,
any computer...</i>

667
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:51,444
<i>and utilize my communications network
for free.</i>

668
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:52,931
<i>Free calls...</i>

669
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,610
<i>free internet...</i>

670
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,285
for everyone.

671
00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:58,611
<i>Forever.</i>

672
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,125
Valentine's assistant
has the same implant scar.

673
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,291
I think Mr. Valentine and I
should have a tete-e-tete.

674
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,280
He's having a gala dinner next week.

675
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,284
I'll get you an invitation.
You need to be careful, though.

676
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,448
Since you've been out,
hundreds of VIPs have gone missing.

677
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,967
No ransom notes,
exactly like Professor Arnold.

678
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:38,041
Then I suggest you make my alias
somebody worth kidnapping.

679
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,001
<i>Fuck, fuck, fuck!</i>

680
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:53,321
<i>What, don't like heights?</i>

681
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:54,481
<i>Yeah, it's okay.</i>

682
00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:58,327
<i>I've done it before, which is probably why,
come to think of it.</i>

683
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:01,529
<i>Hey, it's gonna be all right.</i>

684
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,125
<i>You're top of the class.</i>

685
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:06,360
<i>Listen up.</i>

686
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,330
<i>Your mission is to land in the target
without the radar detecting you.</i>

687
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:13,166
If I read you on the radar,
or you miss the target, you go home.

688
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:14,681
Is that understood?

689
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,806
<i>Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds.</i>

690
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:23,571
<i>We gotta go.</i>

691
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,729
<i>Eggsy, I really don't think
I can do this.</i>

692
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:35,881
<i>Of course you can't.</i>

693
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:37,371
<i>Head to the back
and I'll show you how, yeah?</i>

694
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,882
<i>Eggsy, wait! Hang on!</i>

695
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:50,405
<i>Roxy, just stop fucking about!</i>

696
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:52,887
<i>Follow me, yeah?</i>

697
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,923
<i>Come on!</i>

698
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,248
<i>Roxy, it's now or never.</i>

699
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:14,760
<i>Jump!</i>

700
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:34,731
<i>Good girl, Rox...</i>

701
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:36,484
<i>I'm glad you made it!</i>

702
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:50,964
<i>Yeah!</i>

703
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:52,601
<i>Come on!</i>

704
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,128
My, my, you're all very cheerful.

705
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,442
Did you really think it was gonna be
that straightforward?

706
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,007
Any idiot can read a heads-up display.

707
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,846
A Kingsman agent needs to be able
to solve problems under pressure.

708
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,922
Like what to do when one of
your group has no parachute.

709
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,970
<i>- What, no parachute?
- Shit!</i>

710
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:14,486
<i>Who?</i>

711
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:15,482
<i>Fuck!</i>

712
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:16,607
<i>Which one?</i>

713
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:18,205
<i>What do we do?</i>

714
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:19,771
<i>I told you. Aim for the target.</i>

715
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:21,206
<i>Come in under the radar.</i>

716
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:23,328
And I hope not to be scraping
one of you up.

717
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:26,650
But if I do have to,
and you're inside the target...

718
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:28,844
please know I'll be very impressed.

719
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,451
<i>- Fuck!
- Oh, shit!</i>

720
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,004
<i>Everybody listen, I've got a plan!</i>

721
00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:40,690
<i>Pair off!
Grab the closest person to them.</i>

722
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:44,526
<i>Rufus, come on!</i>

723
00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:45,642
<i>Fuck!</i>

724
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:47,362
<i>Rufus!</i>

725
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,001
<i>Shit! I can't!</i>

726
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:53,523
<i>Fuck!</i>

727
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:56,006
<i>Thank God!</i>

728
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:58,003
<i>Rufus, you wanker!</i>

729
00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:00,651
<i>Shit, we're an odd number now!</i>

730
00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:02,801
<i>Quick, make a circle!</i>

731
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:04,689
<i>Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it.</i>

732
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,482
<i>We pull our cords one by one!</i>

733
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:12,880
<i>When we know who's fucked...</i>

734
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:14,371
<i>the person on their right grabs them.</i>

735
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,400
<i>Okay, Eggsy-</i>

736
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:18,881
<i>Good plan, Eggsy-</i>

737
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,202
You have 30 seconds.
Come on now, hurry.

738
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:22,361
<i>Me first!</i>

739
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:25,722
<i>Fuck!</i>

740
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:27,211
<i>Yes!</i>

741
00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:31,686
<i>Okay, me next.</i>

742
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:35,205
<i>See you on the ground, boys.</i>

743
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:40,041
<i>Now me.</i>

744
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:44,762
<i>Fuck!</i>

745
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,208
<i>Roxy---</i>

746
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,044
<i>no matter what happens now,
I've got you, all right?</i>

747
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:57,206
<i>Okay, Eggsy-</i>

748
00:51:57,360 --> 00:51:58,521
<i>- Yours first, okay?
- Yep.</i>

749
00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:12,607
Shit!

750
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:21,640
<i>Shit!</i>

751
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:24,443
<i>Shit!</i>

752
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:27,123
<i>Rox!</i>

753
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:32,006
<i>Fuck.</i>

754
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,527
<i>Hugo, Dew-</i>

755
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,490
You don't land in the K,
you're not in the K.

756
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:55,961
Rufus, you opened too soon.

757
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:57,485
You were all over the radar.

758
00:52:57,640 --> 00:52:59,483
All three of you,
pack your bags, go home.

759
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,807
Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations.

760
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:05,770
You set a new record.

761
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:07,160
Opening at 300 feet...

762
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:08,367
that's pretty ballsy.

763
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:11,046
Well done for completing another task.
Fall out.

764
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:13,161
Sorry, sir.

765
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,004
But why the fuck did you
choose me as the gimp?

766
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:16,366
Am I the expendable candidate?

767
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:19,126
No, no, no.
You don't talk to me like that.

768
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,487
You have a complaint, you come here
and you whisper it in my ear.

769
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,051
You need to take
that chip off your shoulder.

770
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,520
Mr. DeVere.
It's a pleasure to meet you.

771
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,891
I'm awfully sorry.
I seem to have my dates muddled up.

772
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,930
No, no, no.
I cancelled the gala because of you.

773
00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:13,049
Anybody willing to donate that much...

774
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:15,362
deserves their own dinner.
Come in!

775
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,001
Thank you.

776
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,406
Got to admit,
I was really intrigued to meet you.

777
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,403
There aren't many billionaires
I don't know.

778
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:25,561
I don't doubt it.

779
00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:28,724
And, obviously,
I had my people look into your affairs...

780
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:30,609
and that's some pretty old money
you're from.

781
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:31,602
How'd your folks make it?

782
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:35,244
Property, mostly.
Property and the markets.

783
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,448
Nothing questionable,
if that's your concern.

784
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,365
Look, I'm just into finding out
what caliber person you are.

785
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:41,362
I'm sure you understand that.

786
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:42,967
I most certainly do.

787
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:44,610
- Hope you're hungry.
- I'm famished.

788
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:45,847
Good.

789
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:46,921
Grab a seat.

790
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:09,761
I'll have the Big Mac, please.

791
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:11,126
Great choice.

792
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:14,682
But nothing beats two cheeseburgers
with secret sauce.

793
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:16,649
Goes great with this '45 Lafite.

794
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:17,801
A classic pairing.

795
00:55:18,240 --> 00:55:21,244
And may I suggest Twinkies
and a 1937 Cheteau d'Yquem for pudding?

796
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:23,445
I like it.

797
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:27,840
So, you want to donate to my foundation.

798
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:31,322
You are aware that I wound things
down in that area, right?

799
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,404
Climate change is a threat,
which affects us all, Mr. Valentine.

800
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,729
And you're one of the few powerful men
who seems to share my concerns.

801
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:40,565
No, I shut things down,
because I wasn't getting anywhere.

802
00:55:40,720 --> 00:55:43,564
Every bit of research
kept pointing to the same thing.

803
00:55:43,720 --> 00:55:45,085
That carbon emissions
are a red herring...

804
00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:48,926
and that we're past the point of no return
no matter what remedial actions we take?

805
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,924
You know your shit.

806
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:54,687
I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance
of those less well versed in their...

807
00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:56,446
"shit."

808
00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:59,050
As Professor Arnold always said...

809
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:02,046
"Humankind is the only virus
cursed to live...

810
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,443
"with the horrifying knowledge
of its host's fragile mortality."

811
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,251
You know, not a lot of people
knew about him.

812
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,327
You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere?

813
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,049
Nowadays, they're all a little
serious for my taste.

814
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,167
But the old ones...

815
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:24,200
Marvelous.

816
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,641
Give me a far-fetched
theatrical plot any day.

817
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,327
The old Bond movies. Oh, man!

818
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:34,007
When I was a kid, that was my dream job.

819
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:36,404
Gentleman spy.

820
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:40,128
I always felt the old Bond films
were only as good as the villain.

821
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:44,610
As a child, I rather fancied a future
as a colorful megalomaniac.

822
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:49,802
What a shame we both had to grow up.

823
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:55,640
<i>Bon appetit.</i>

824
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:01,130
Just give me a couple of days
to think over your proposal.

825
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:02,884
I'll have my people
get in touch with yours...

826
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:04,565
and it's all good.

827
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:08,247
And thank you for such a happy meal.

828
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:14,965
Well, want me to follow him?

829
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:16,286
Nah.

830
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:19,006
I put a nano tracker gel in the wine.

831
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,204
We'll know his every move
for the next 24 hours.

832
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,931
Finally find out who he works for.

833
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,448
Valentine didn't let me
out of his sight.

834
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:31,126
All I got was this on the way in.

835
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:38,323
South Glade Mission Church
is a hate group based in Kentucky.

836
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:40,804
FBI have been monitoring them for years.

837
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:42,769
But you think Valentine is a supporter?

838
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:46,208
No evidence yet of a direct connection,
but I'll keep looking.

839
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:48,491
By the way...

840
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:53,680
our ever-growing list of missing persons
now includes Scandinavian royalty.

841
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:56,811
Royal Crown Princess Tilde.

842
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:01,724
Just let me out, you psycho!

843
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,724
I told you, you're free to go
any time you want.

844
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,167
As long as you agree to my conditions.

845
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,210
I don't agree...

846
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:12,091
and I am never ever going to agree!

847
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:13,480
Tough shit.

848
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:14,921
Bitch.

849
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:18,844
I want to speak to the British Council!

850
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:23,889
<i>The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries
has continued to grow in recent weeks...</i>

851
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:27,931
<i>and world leaders are coming under
increasing pressure to provide answers.</i>

852
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:31,846
<i>We are doing everything in our power
to find Princess Tilde.</i>

853
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,163
<i>You know,
governments and security forces worldwide...</i>

854
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:39,046
<i>are working together to find the person
behind these abductions.</i>

855
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:40,890
<i>In other news,
people all over the world...</i>

856
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:45,443
<i>continue to wait in line day and night
to get their free SIM cards.</i>

857
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:48,080
Mrs. P, did you get one?

858
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,811
Yeah, I've been queuing up all day.

859
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:55,244
<i>This unprecedented giveaway
by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine...</i>

860
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,244
<i>has already seen
over a billion cards distributed.</i>

861
00:58:58,400 --> 00:58:59,640
At ease.

862
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,201
So you thought we were done
for the day, huh?

863
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,206
Well, we're not.

864
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:09,842
- A party?
- Tonight, in London.

865
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,921
- Who's this?
- Your target.

866
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,048
Your mission
is to use your NLP training...

867
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,601
to win over the individual
on the photograph in your envelope.

868
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,285
And when I say "win over"...

869
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,250
I do mean in the biblical sense.

870
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:23,561
Easy.

871
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,528
Posh girls love a bit of rough.

872
00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:28,330
We'll see about that, yeah?

873
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:30,409
We certainly will.

874
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:36,567
Hi!

875
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:40,048
Sorry, I just had to come over
and say, amazing eyes.

876
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:41,640
Are you wearing color contacts?

877
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:44,007
- No!
- You so are.

878
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:46,561
Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious.

879
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:48,609
I haven't heard anyone try that
since the noughties.

880
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:49,886
Excuse me?

881
00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:50,927
"Negginel"

882
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:55,051
Saying something negative to a pretty girl
in order to undermine her social value.

883
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:57,282
It's supposed to make you
want to win his approval.

884
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,889
Absurdly basic
neuro-linguistic programming technique.

885
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:03,202
Is it just me, or does this champagne
taste a little bit funny?

886
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,249
- It's an acquired taste, mate.
- I think it's just cheap.

887
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,243
Get one of these instead.
They're delicious.

888
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:10,131
If you're into seduction techniques,
this guy is textbook.

889
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:13,045
See what he just did?
It's called an opinion opener.

890
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,690
He got you talking
with a neutral question...

891
01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:16,564
got all of us involved
in the conversation...

892
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:18,404
so that you craved individual attention.

893
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:20,451
No, I'm just saying
the champagne tastes rank.

894
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:22,364
Lady Sophie Montague-Herring.

895
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:23,851
Phone call for you at reception.

896
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,729
- Be right back.
- We'll see you in a bit, yeah?

897
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:27,245
See you in a bit.

898
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,243
Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough.

899
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:30,925
- Are you all right?
- No.

900
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,127
Sorry to eavesdrop...

901
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:35,841
but there's a much easier way
to guarantee getting someone home.

902
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:37,610
Rohypnol.

903
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:41,524
Or even something stronger.

904
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:00,764
Who the fuck are you?

905
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:02,765
Where am I?

906
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:06,321
This knife...

907
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:08,562
can save your life.

908
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:13,801
Fuck!

909
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:17,010
My employer's got two questions
for you, Eggsy.

910
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:19,049
What the fuck is Kingsman?

911
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:20,850
And who's Harry Hart?

912
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:22,843
I don't know who the fuck that is!

913
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:23,808
Shit!

914
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:27,760
Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends
who gave me the same bullshit answer!

915
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:29,322
Fuck!

916
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:32,331
Just cut the fucking ropes, please!

917
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:33,527
Hey, Eggsy!

918
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:35,045
Is Kingsman worth dying for?

919
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:38,605
Fuck you!

920
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:54,206
Congratulations.

921
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:55,600
Bloody well done.

922
01:01:57,880 --> 01:01:59,484
How did the others do?

923
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:01,449
Roxy passed with flying colors.

924
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:04,247
Charlie's up next. Want to watch?

925
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:07,085
Yeah, all right.

926
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,648
Is Kingsman really worth dying for?

927
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:13,165
No, it fucking isn't!

928
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,163
Shit, I'll tell you what you want.
Please!

929
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:16,606
Chester King is Arthur.

930
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,001
Arthur's head of a spy agency.
It's called Kingsman.

931
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:20,685
- Get me out of here!
- Thank you, Charlie.

932
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:22,211
Much appreciated.

933
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:24,761
Come on!
That wasn't the fucking deal!

934
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,447
Fuck!

935
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,761
I had such high hopes for you.

936
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:38,883
You're a bloody disgrace.

937
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:40,041
Arthur, I'm sorry.

938
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:42,211
At least untie me.

939
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:43,891
Untie yourself.

940
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:47,722
Arthur, please.

941
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,611
<i>I'm the fucking son of the... Shit!</i>

942
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,286
<i>Anyone? Hello?</i>

943
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,011
Galahad, Percival, congratulations.

944
01:02:57,280 --> 01:03:00,090
Your candidates have reached
the final stage of the testing process.

945
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:03,801
As tradition allows,
you now have 24 hours to spend with them.

946
01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:07,563
Eggsy, you should know your
father reached this point.

947
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:09,321
From now on...

948
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:11,245
there are no safety nets, understood?

949
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:16,007
Good. Dismissed.

950
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:22,088
Charlie, time to go home.

951
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:23,605
<i>Fuck you.</i>

952
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,287
Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!

953
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:29,441
"To pee or not to pee?"

954
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:32,522
That was the headline...

955
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,285
the day after I defused
a dirty bomb in Paris.

956
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,604
"Germany, 1, England, 5."

957
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:38,841
Missed that game.

958
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:42,010
I was breaking up an undercover
spy ring at the Pentagon.

959
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:48,811
My first mission.

960
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:50,450
Foiled the assassination
of Margaret Thatcher.

961
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:53,291
Not everybody would
thank you for that one.

962
01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:56,451
The point is, Eggsy,
nobody thanked me for any of them.

963
01:03:57,120 --> 01:04:00,681
Front page news on all these occasions
was celebrity nonsense.

964
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:04,521
Because it's the nature of Kingsman
that our achievements remain secret.

965
01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:08,328
A gentleman's name should appear
in the newspaper only 3 times.

966
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,801
When he's born, when he marries,
and when he dies.

967
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:14,169
And we are, first and foremost,
gentlemen.

968
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:15,811
That's me fucked then.

969
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:18,689
It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb.

970
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:19,841
Nonsense.

971
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:22,520
Being a gentleman has nothing to do
with the circumstances of one's birth.

972
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:25,323
Being a gentleman
is something one learns.

973
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,923
Yeah, but how?

974
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:30,080
All right, first lesson.

975
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:31,685
You should've asked me
before you took a seat.

976
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:34,681
Second lesson...

977
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,011
how to make a proper martini.

978
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:40,082
Yes, Harry.

979
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,729
Goddamn it! This fucking hurts!

980
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,726
You're the one who asked
for a biometric security system.

981
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:50,006
What's wrong with a simple switch?

982
01:04:50,160 --> 01:04:51,161
A simple switch?

983
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:55,001
This is an extremely dangerous machine.

984
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:59,728
It should only be operated by someone
as responsible and sane as me.

985
01:04:59,920 --> 01:05:02,207
Bad shit could happen
if this falls into the wrong hands.

986
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:07,084
We done here? Shit!

987
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:09,891
No. Now this one.

988
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:11,087
For the test at the church.

989
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,083
This one just has a short range.

990
01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:14,810
A simple switch will do.

991
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:23,650
So are you gonna teach me how to
talk proper, like in <i>My Fair Lady?</i>

992
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,245
Don't be absurd.

993
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:28,086
Being a gentleman has nothing
to do with one's accent.

994
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:30,561
It's about being at ease
in one's own skin.

995
01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:32,290
As Hemingway said,
"There is nothing noble...

996
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,807
"in being superior to your fellow man.

997
01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:38,722
"True nobility is being superior
to your former self."

998
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:45,762
Now, the first thing every
gentleman needs is a good suit.

999
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:49,248
By which I mean, a bespoke suit.
Never off-the-peg.

1000
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:51,801
And Kingsman suits
are always bulletproof.

1001
01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:54,770
So let's get you measured,
and then, whether you get the job or not...

1002
01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:59,289
you'll have a lasting and useful memento
of your time at Kingsman.

1003
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:03,081
I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman
is completing his fitting.

1004
01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:05,447
Fitting Room Two is available.

1005
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:09,605
One does not use Fitting Room Two
when one is popping one's cherry.

1006
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:13,490
Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three
while we wait.

1007
01:06:23,840 --> 01:06:25,126
So we going up or down?

1008
01:06:25,280 --> 01:06:26,441
Neither.

1009
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:28,681
Is this it?

1010
01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:31,963
Of course not.
Pull the hook on your left.

1011
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:39,962
Oh, yes.

1012
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:42,647
Very, very nice.

1013
01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:48,160
You're going to need a pair of shoes
to go with your suit.

1014
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:52,484
An oxford is any formal shoe
with open lacing.

1015
01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:55,849
This additional decorative piece
is called broguing.

1016
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:57,206
"Oxfords not brogues."

1017
01:06:57,360 --> 01:06:58,964
Words to live by, Eggsy.

1018
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:01,806
Words to live by. Try a pair.

1019
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:04,324
Your weapon scores are excellent,
by the way.

1020
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:08,723
These you are familiar with,
and this is our standard issue pistol.

1021
01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:10,524
It's quite unique, as you'll see.

1022
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:14,048
It also fires a shotgun cartridge
for use in messy close-range situations.

1023
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:15,645
- How do they feel?
- Yeah, good.

1024
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:17,171
Now do your very best impersonation...

1025
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:19,004
of a German aristocrat's
formal greeting.

1026
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:23,760
No, Eggsy-

1027
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:29,120
That is sick.

1028
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,128
In the old days,
they had a phone in the heel as well.

1029
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:33,361
How do I get it back in?

1030
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:37,411
Well, it's coated in one of the fastest
acting neurotoxins known to man...

1031
01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:39,050
so very carefully.

1032
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:44,681
Now, I've had a lot of fun with this.

1033
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:47,844
One of our finest examples
of chemical engineering.

1034
01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:50,520
A poison, harmless when ingested...

1035
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:52,569
but at a time convenient to you...

1036
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:56,725
can be remotely activated. Primed.

1037
01:07:58,200 --> 01:07:59,087
Lethal.

1038
01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:02,528
What about these? What do these do?

1039
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,888
- Electrocute you?
- Don't be ridiculous.

1040
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:06,883
- It's a hand grenade.
- Shut up!

1041
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:09,327
If you want to electrocute someone,
you'll need a signet ring.

1042
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:11,602
A gentleman traditionally
wears the signet on his left hand.

1043
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:14,730
But a Kingsman wears it on
whichever hand happens to be dominant.

1044
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:16,211
Touch the contact behind the ring...

1045
01:08:16,400 --> 01:08:17,526
it delivers 50,000 volts.

1046
01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:21,886
And what about them?
What makes them so special?

1047
01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:23,041
Nothing.

1048
01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:25,925
That technology has caught up
with the spy world.

1049
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:28,729
Put it back, Eggsy.

1050
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:32,565
<i>Perfect timing.</i>

1051
01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:34,609
The gentleman's just finished.

1052
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:41,091
Mr. DeVere!

1053
01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:44,244
What a coincidence.

1054
01:08:44,880 --> 01:08:47,770
You are totally the reason I'm here.

1055
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:49,086
When you left my house...

1056
01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:53,040
I was thirsting for that dope-ass
smoking jacket you had on.

1057
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:54,725
And since I'm going to Royal Ascot...

1058
01:08:54,880 --> 01:08:56,928
and, apparently,
you need one of these penguin suits...

1059
01:08:57,480 --> 01:08:58,641
here I am.

1060
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:00,247
What are you doing here?

1061
01:09:00,480 --> 01:09:01,811
What's up, man?

1062
01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:03,086
Richmond Valentine.

1063
01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:06,444
This is my new valet.
I was just introducing him to my tailor.

1064
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:09,444
Another coincidence. So am I.

1065
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:11,882
Have you had any chance
to think further on my proposal?

1066
01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:13,081
Most definitely.

1067
01:09:13,280 --> 01:09:16,284
My people will be getting
in touch with you very soon.

1068
01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:17,930
I guarantee it.

1069
01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:19,965
A word of advice.

1070
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:22,487
Ascot requires top hat.

1071
01:09:23,480 --> 01:09:26,643
I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters.

1072
01:09:27,440 --> 01:09:28,487
Saint James's.

1073
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:29,920
"Lox" as in smoked fish?

1074
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,811
As in, "locked up."

1075
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:38,764
I have trouble understanding
you people sometimes.

1076
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,442
You all talk so funny.

1077
01:09:48,440 --> 01:09:51,523
Gentlemen, would you look after him,
please?

1078
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,326
Now this...

1079
01:10:05,480 --> 01:10:07,369
is a dope-ass top hat.

1080
01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:12,328
Gazelle, let's go ascoting.

1081
01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:15,046
<i>Your hat looks fine, Gazelle.</i>

1082
01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:18,044
<i>Come on!
Don't make me late for the queen.</i>

1083
01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:21,485
<i>Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late.</i>

1084
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:23,165
<i>How far is Ascot?</i>

1085
01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:24,687
<i>How far?</i>

1086
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:30,211
Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir?

1087
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:32,205
Sit down.

1088
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:38,640
Pretty dog.

1089
01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:40,366
What's his name?

1090
01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:41,521
J.B.

1091
01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:43,887
- As in "James Bond"?
- No.

1092
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:45,650
"Jason Bourne"?

1093
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:47,842
No. "Jack Bauer."

1094
01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:49,207
Oh!

1095
01:10:49,880 --> 01:10:50,881
Bravo.

1096
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:52,681
It pains me to admit it...

1097
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,730
but I think that one day,
you might be as good a spy...

1098
01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:57,325
as any of them.

1099
01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:06,050
Take it.

1100
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:14,120
Shoot the dog.

1101
01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:22,206
This weapon is live.

1102
01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:26,287
Shoot the dog.

1103
01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:06,127
Give me the gun.

1104
01:12:17,440 --> 01:12:19,169
At least the girl's got balls.

1105
01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:23,801
Get out.

1106
01:12:24,480 --> 01:12:26,482
I knew you couldn't make it.

1107
01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:31,091
Go home.

1108
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,444
Merlin, send in Roxy, please.

1109
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:02,204
Welcome to Kingsman...

1110
01:13:03,160 --> 01:13:04,286
Lancelot.

1111
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:28,641
Mum!

1112
01:13:29,080 --> 01:13:30,206
Eggsy!

1113
01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:31,686
Oh, God. Where have you been?

1114
01:13:31,880 --> 01:13:33,882
I've been so worried about you.

1115
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:39,083
Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown!

1116
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:46,928
- Where is he?
- I'm fine.

1117
01:13:47,080 --> 01:13:48,764
Eggsy, please, just don't get involved.

1118
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:50,604
I should never have left you
on your own.

1119
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,161
This stops right now.

1120
01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:54,441
I'll be right back.

1121
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:56,204
Eggsy-

1122
01:13:58,560 --> 01:13:59,891
Oi, Dean!

1123
01:14:00,880 --> 01:14:02,723
Mugsy, so you're back.

1124
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:04,769
What, you gone and nicked
a fucking taxi, now?

1125
01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:06,371
Yeah.

1126
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:08,568
Can I have a word
about my mum's black eye?

1127
01:14:09,560 --> 01:14:11,289
You want to have a word with me,
you get out of that cab...

1128
01:14:11,440 --> 01:14:13,124
I'll knock you straight back down
on your fucking arse.

1129
01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:17,362
Tell your muppets to go inside,
then I'll get out.

1130
01:14:19,640 --> 01:14:21,563
Go on, lads. It'll be two hits.

1131
01:14:21,720 --> 01:14:23,768
Me hitting him, him hitting the floor.

1132
01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:26,607
Come on, then, you prick.

1133
01:14:26,760 --> 01:14:28,649
Let's see what you got.
Want a bit of me?

1134
01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:29,608
What are you doing?

1135
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:30,647
No, no, no!

1136
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:31,608
Get out of the fucking car!

1137
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:33,649
What are you doing?
Where you going, you mug?

1138
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:35,086
Go on, you got no bollocks!

1139
01:14:35,880 --> 01:14:37,882
Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum!

1140
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:39,451
Come back when you've grown a pair!

1141
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:40,487
Mugs!

1142
01:15:03,360 --> 01:15:04,361
You throw away...

1143
01:15:04,560 --> 01:15:08,531
your biggest opportunity
over a fucking dog.

1144
01:15:09,520 --> 01:15:11,841
And then you humiliate me
by stealing my boss's car.

1145
01:15:12,080 --> 01:15:14,162
You shot a dog
just to get a fucking job.

1146
01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:15,601
Yes, I did.

1147
01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:22,491
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that
every time I take a shit!

1148
01:15:24,080 --> 01:15:26,560
You shot your dog and had it stuffed?

1149
01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:27,960
You fucking freak.

1150
01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:29,485
No, I shot my dog...

1151
01:15:29,640 --> 01:15:31,324
and then I brought him home
and continued to care for him...

1152
01:15:31,480 --> 01:15:33,926
for the next 11 years
until he died of pancreatitis.

1153
01:15:34,640 --> 01:15:37,291
- What?
- it was a blank, Eggsy.

1154
01:15:38,440 --> 01:15:40,124
It was a fucking blank.

1155
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:42,285
Remember Amelia?

1156
01:15:42,440 --> 01:15:43,202
Yeah.

1157
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:44,486
She didn't drown.

1158
01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:47,411
She works in our tech department in Berlin.
She's fine.

1159
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:48,806
Limits must be tested...

1160
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:51,611
a Kingsman only condones
the risking of a life to save another.

1161
01:15:51,760 --> 01:15:54,730
Like my dad saved your life
even though your fuck-up cost his.

1162
01:15:54,880 --> 01:15:56,564
Or have you got him
stuffed here and all?

1163
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:01,683
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?

1164
01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:09,164
Harry, listen to this.

1165
01:16:09,320 --> 01:16:11,084
Valentine is at last
saying something of note.

1166
01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:13,721
<i>Do you know what I love
about pen and paper?</i>

1167
01:16:14,240 --> 01:16:16,720
Nobody can hack into this shit.

1168
01:16:17,160 --> 01:16:20,482
Our worldwide tour
was a complete success.

1169
01:16:20,680 --> 01:16:23,126
We have total coverall.

1170
01:16:23,280 --> 01:16:26,090
Like when all your numbers in bingo
are crossed out.

1171
01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:27,127
Bingo?

1172
01:16:27,280 --> 01:16:30,682
Bingo, the game.
You have played bingo, right?

1173
01:16:31,560 --> 01:16:33,324
Do I look like I play bingo?

1174
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:36,607
Point is...

1175
01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:41,723
if our tests go well at the church tomorrow,
we are good to go.

1176
01:16:41,880 --> 01:16:44,406
South Glade Mission Church.

1177
01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:47,482
- Merlin, get the plane ready.
<i>- Will</i> do.

1178
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:49,290
Harry, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna do whatever--

1179
01:16:49,440 --> 01:16:50,441
You should be.

1180
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:53,046
You just stay right there.
I'll sort this mess out when I get back.

1181
01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:01,129
And I say to you...

1182
01:17:01,280 --> 01:17:02,520
bear witness!

1183
01:17:02,720 --> 01:17:05,291
Watch the news. Watch the news.

1184
01:17:05,440 --> 01:17:06,771
AIDS!

1185
01:17:07,200 --> 01:17:08,042
Floods!

1186
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:10,328
The blood of the innocent, spilled!

1187
01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:15,686
And yet, there are those who doubt
this is the wrath of God.

1188
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:24,210
Our filthy government condones
sodomy, divorce, abortion!

1189
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:26,886
And yet, some still doubt...

1190
01:17:27,040 --> 01:17:30,931
this is the work of the antichrist!

1191
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:36,001
You do not have to be
a Jew, a nigger, a whore...

1192
01:17:36,160 --> 01:17:38,925
or an atheistic, science-loving
evolution spouter...

1193
01:17:39,240 --> 01:17:40,685
<i>Charming sermon.</i>

1194
01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:42,530
Can you see Valentine anywhere?

1195
01:17:42,720 --> 01:17:44,131
So, my friends...

1196
01:17:44,280 --> 01:17:47,329
although he is a just God,
he is justly a vengeful one...

1197
01:17:47,480 --> 01:17:50,450
and there can be no turning back...

1198
01:17:50,640 --> 01:17:52,244
<i>from the almighty wrath...</i>

1199
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:53,890
Are you sure we're out of range?

1200
01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:55,690
We're over 1,000 feet away.
What's wrong?

1201
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:57,080
What if the calculations are wrong?

1202
01:17:57,240 --> 01:17:58,844
You just have to trust me.

1203
01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:04,523
...Jew, nigger, fag lovers,
and the devil is burning them...

1204
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:05,966
for all eternity.

1205
01:18:06,160 --> 01:18:07,321
Would you excuse me?

1206
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:09,162
Where are you going?

1207
01:18:09,960 --> 01:18:11,769
Hey! What's your problem?

1208
01:18:13,360 --> 01:18:14,771
I'm a Catholic whore...

1209
01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:18,521
currently enjoying congress out of wedlock
with my black, Jewish boyfriend...

1210
01:18:18,680 --> 01:18:21,251
who works in a military abortion clinic.

1211
01:18:21,840 --> 01:18:23,171
So, hail Satan...

1212
01:18:23,480 --> 01:18:25,323
and have a lovely afternoon, madam.

1213
01:18:28,720 --> 01:18:30,131
Oh, shit. He's leaving.

1214
01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:31,884
I'm starting the test now.

1215
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:34,402
Let's hope enough of these freaks
have our SIM cards.

1216
01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:40,090
I kindly ask you to sit down,
my friend!

1217
01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:41,321
Just leave this church!

1218
01:18:41,480 --> 01:18:43,847
You just leave this church
like the infidel you are!

1219
01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:49,609
Satan cannot save you now!
You will eat your babies.

1220
01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:53,287
You will drown in the blood of the Lord!

1221
01:18:53,440 --> 01:18:54,885
He will not save you!

1222
01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:02,121
Holy fuck!

1223
01:19:03,880 --> 01:19:06,042
Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here.

1224
01:19:48,240 --> 01:19:50,242
Jeez! Fuck.

1225
01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:53,048
<i>Galahad, can you hear me?</i>

1226
01:19:53,440 --> 01:19:54,282
Harry!

1227
01:19:54,840 --> 01:19:57,207
Harry, what the heck is going on?

1228
01:19:58,360 --> 01:19:59,850
Could you turn the volume down, please?

1229
01:20:01,160 --> 01:20:03,128
I didn't expect it to be that effective.

1230
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:04,441
What kind of response are we talking?

1231
01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:06,321
100 percent.

1232
01:20:07,440 --> 01:20:10,444
So, everyone's been affected,
whether they have a SIM card or not.

1233
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:13,002
And we get the added benefit
of wiping out the Kingsman.

1234
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:15,483
Not yet.

1235
01:21:10,440 --> 01:21:11,771
You need to see this.

1236
01:23:08,800 --> 01:23:10,643
What did you do to me?

1237
01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:12,604
I had no control.

1238
01:23:13,960 --> 01:23:15,405
I killed all those people.

1239
01:23:17,360 --> 01:23:18,566
I wanted to.

1240
01:23:18,760 --> 01:23:19,841
Clever, isn't it?

1241
01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:22,731
In simple terms,
it's a neurological wave...

1242
01:23:22,880 --> 01:23:24,405
that triggers
the centers of aggression...

1243
01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:26,284
and switches off inhibitors.

1244
01:23:26,840 --> 01:23:29,764
Transmitted through your nasty,
free SIM cards, I assume.

1245
01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:34,889
Do you know what this is like?

1246
01:23:35,080 --> 01:23:38,368
It's like those old movies we both love.

1247
01:23:38,520 --> 01:23:41,603
Now, I'm going to tell you
my whole plan...

1248
01:23:41,760 --> 01:23:45,048
and then I'm going to come up with
some absurd and convoluted way to kill you...

1249
01:23:45,200 --> 01:23:47,806
and you'll find an equally
convoluted way to escape.

1250
01:23:48,880 --> 01:23:50,370
Sounds good to me.

1251
01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:53,248
Well, this ain't that kind of movie.

1252
01:23:56,880 --> 01:23:59,360
No!

1253
01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:09,204
Is he dead?

1254
01:24:09,360 --> 01:24:11,840
That tends to happen
when you shoot someone in the head.

1255
01:24:12,040 --> 01:24:13,166
It feels good, right?

1256
01:24:13,640 --> 01:24:15,722
No, no, it does not feel good.
It feels fucking awful.

1257
01:24:15,880 --> 01:24:18,167
What? You just killed
how many people in that church?

1258
01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:19,327
This is one guy.

1259
01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:21,482
No, no, they killed each other.

1260
01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:26,283
Okay, send out the countdown clock.

1261
01:24:26,440 --> 01:24:29,125
This party starts tomorrow.

1262
01:25:03,760 --> 01:25:05,171
Arthur?

1263
01:25:07,280 --> 01:25:08,770
Are you there?

1264
01:25:09,080 --> 01:25:11,242
<i>Sadly, I am.</i>

1265
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:15,082
Assemble the Kingsmen.

1266
01:25:18,840 --> 01:25:22,925
<i>Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?</i>

1267
01:25:43,440 --> 01:25:45,807
<i>I see a young man with potential...</i>

1268
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:49,285
<i>who wants to do something
good with his life.</i>

1269
01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:08,281
Arthur, Harry's dead.

1270
01:26:08,960 --> 01:26:11,361
Galahad is dead.

1271
01:26:11,560 --> 01:26:13,961
Hence, we have just drunk
a toast to him.

1272
01:26:14,640 --> 01:26:17,166
Well, then you know
what that psycho's doing.

1273
01:26:17,320 --> 01:26:19,971
How many people around the world
have got those SIM cards?

1274
01:26:20,120 --> 01:26:22,521
Valentine can send his signal
to any of them, all of them.

1275
01:26:22,680 --> 01:26:24,728
If they all go homicidal
at the same time then--

1276
01:26:24,880 --> 01:26:27,201
Indeed, and thanks
to Galahad's recordings...

1277
01:26:27,360 --> 01:26:29,966
we have Valentine's confession.

1278
01:26:30,160 --> 01:26:33,528
The intelligence has been passed on
to the relevant authorities.

1279
01:26:33,680 --> 01:26:35,045
Our work is complete...

1280
01:26:35,200 --> 01:26:39,649
and a most distinguished legacy
for our fallen friend, it is, too.

1281
01:26:40,480 --> 01:26:41,641
And that's it?

1282
01:26:42,840 --> 01:26:44,001
Come sit down, boy.

1283
01:26:47,360 --> 01:26:52,366
This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy.

1284
01:26:53,400 --> 01:26:56,688
And we only drink it
when we lose a Kingsman.

1285
01:26:57,320 --> 01:27:00,369
Galahad was very fond of you.

1286
01:27:02,520 --> 01:27:04,921
And on this occasion...

1287
01:27:05,080 --> 01:27:08,448
I think it's acceptable for us
to bend the rules a little.

1288
01:27:10,840 --> 01:27:12,001
Are these all Kingsmen?

1289
01:27:12,200 --> 01:27:14,521
Yes, they're founder members.

1290
01:27:15,880 --> 01:27:17,962
I want you to join me in a toast.

1291
01:27:20,200 --> 01:27:22,202
To Galahad.

1292
01:27:23,200 --> 01:27:24,690
To Galahad.

1293
01:27:29,240 --> 01:27:31,891
Harry says you don't like
to break rules, Arthur.

1294
01:27:32,360 --> 01:27:33,441
Why now?

1295
01:27:33,640 --> 01:27:34,880
You're very good, Eggsy.

1296
01:27:35,040 --> 01:27:38,647
Perhaps I will make you my proposal
for Galahad's position.

1297
01:27:39,560 --> 01:27:42,245
Provided, of course,
that we can see eye to eye...

1298
01:27:42,440 --> 01:27:44,568
on certain political matters.

1299
01:27:47,400 --> 01:27:48,925
Can you guess...

1300
01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:51,644
what this is?

1301
01:27:51,800 --> 01:27:53,484
I don't have to. Harry showed me.

1302
01:27:53,640 --> 01:27:55,165
You click it. I die.

1303
01:27:55,320 --> 01:27:57,129
I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit.

1304
01:27:59,080 --> 01:27:59,729
Bravo.

1305
01:28:00,400 --> 01:28:03,563
Valentine won you over, somehow.

1306
01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:06,564
Once he explained, I understood.

1307
01:28:06,760 --> 01:28:08,000
<i>When you get a virus...</i>

1308
01:28:08,280 --> 01:28:09,486
you get a fever.

1309
01:28:09,640 --> 01:28:13,690
That's the human body raising
its core temperature to kill the virus.

1310
01:28:13,840 --> 01:28:16,081
Planet Earth works the same way.

1311
01:28:16,240 --> 01:28:18,163
Global warming is the fever.

1312
01:28:18,320 --> 01:28:21,130
Mankind is the virus.

1313
01:28:21,280 --> 01:28:23,681
We're making our planet sick.

1314
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:26,446
A cull is our only hope.

1315
01:28:26,600 --> 01:28:28,841
If we don't reduce
our population ourselves...

1316
01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:31,606
there is only one of two ways
this can go.

1317
01:28:31,760 --> 01:28:36,004
The host kills the virus,
or the virus kills the host.

1318
01:28:36,320 --> 01:28:37,207
Either way...

1319
01:28:38,240 --> 01:28:39,810
The result is the same.

1320
01:28:40,000 --> 01:28:41,604
The virus dies.

1321
01:28:42,680 --> 01:28:46,127
So Valentine's gonna take care
of the population problem himself.

1322
01:28:46,280 --> 01:28:48,806
Well, if we don't do something,
nature will.

1323
01:28:48,960 --> 01:28:53,284
Sometimes a culling is the only way
to ensure that this species survives...

1324
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:56,128
and history will see Valentine...

1325
01:28:56,280 --> 01:28:58,567
as the man who saved
humanity from extinction.

1326
01:28:59,120 --> 01:29:02,488
And he gets to pick and choose
who gets culled, does he?

1327
01:29:02,640 --> 01:29:03,846
All his rich mates, they get to live...

1328
01:29:04,000 --> 01:29:06,526
and anyone he thinks is worth saving,
he's keeping them safe...

1329
01:29:06,680 --> 01:29:08,648
whether they agree with him or not.

1330
01:29:08,800 --> 01:29:10,962
And you, Eggsy-

1331
01:29:11,520 --> 01:29:13,488
In Harry's honor...

1332
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:18,328
I am inviting you
to be part of a new world.

1333
01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:22,687
It's time to make your decision.

1334
01:29:29,560 --> 01:29:31,528
I'd rather be with Harry.

1335
01:29:32,160 --> 01:29:33,082
Thanks.

1336
01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:35,205
So be it.

1337
01:29:51,520 --> 01:29:54,763
The problem with us common types...

1338
01:29:54,920 --> 01:29:56,524
is that we're light-fingered.

1339
01:29:57,720 --> 01:29:59,449
Kingsman's taught me a lot...

1340
01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:00,840
but sleight of hand...

1341
01:30:01,520 --> 01:30:03,284
Yes, they're founder members.

1342
01:30:05,920 --> 01:30:07,206
I had that down already.

1343
01:30:09,520 --> 01:30:13,127
You dirty little fucking...

1344
01:30:13,280 --> 01:30:14,725
prick.

1345
01:30:49,000 --> 01:30:50,729
It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down.

1346
01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:53,445
It's verified.

1347
01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:58,411
Arthur's phone is receiving update
texts about getting to safety.

1348
01:30:58,560 --> 01:31:00,324
- We don't have a lot of time.
- What are you going to do?

1349
01:31:00,480 --> 01:31:02,642
The question is,
what are we going to do?

1350
01:31:02,800 --> 01:31:05,531
God knows who's in Valentine's pocket
and who's not.

1351
01:31:06,160 --> 01:31:07,685
We have no choice.

1352
01:31:08,760 --> 01:31:10,842
We are gonna have to deal
with this ourselves.

1353
01:31:14,280 --> 01:31:15,611
Follow me.

1354
01:31:34,480 --> 01:31:35,811
What the fuck is this?

1355
01:31:35,960 --> 01:31:37,803
I have no idea.

1356
01:31:38,800 --> 01:31:39,961
What you're playing with...

1357
01:31:40,120 --> 01:31:42,851
is a prototype personal
transatmospheric vehicle.

1358
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:45,287
It was developed as part of
Reagan's Star Wars project.

1359
01:31:45,440 --> 01:31:48,364
It's pretty basic,
but it should still work.

1360
01:31:48,640 --> 01:31:51,007
We're gonna take out
one of Valentine's satellites.

1361
01:31:51,400 --> 01:31:53,846
We're gonna break the chain,
stop the signal.

1362
01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:55,684
It'll take him a couple of hours
to reroute it...

1363
01:31:56,360 --> 01:32:00,729
which buys us enough time for you
to get me into Valentine's mainframe...

1364
01:32:00,880 --> 01:32:02,689
so I can shut it down.

1365
01:32:02,840 --> 01:32:05,161
Lancelot, you're going to be using it.

1366
01:32:05,320 --> 01:32:06,685
Get into your halo suit.

1367
01:32:19,320 --> 01:32:21,084
<i>Swedish Prime Minister,
requesting permission to land.</i>

1368
01:32:27,080 --> 01:32:28,844
<i>Permission granted.</i>

1369
01:32:32,440 --> 01:32:34,920
- Please.
- Thank you.

1370
01:32:35,080 --> 01:32:37,162
- How many more are we expecting?
- Not many.

1371
01:32:37,360 --> 01:32:38,691
Most have their own bunkers.

1372
01:32:38,840 --> 01:32:42,208
I figure we're just getting
the really nervous ones.

1373
01:32:42,440 --> 01:32:44,442
Welcome, Prime Minister.

1374
01:32:45,720 --> 01:32:48,690
It seems the implant
can emit some kind of counter signal...

1375
01:32:48,840 --> 01:32:52,526
to ensure the wearer remains unaffected
by the waves from the SIM cards.

1376
01:32:52,680 --> 01:32:54,728
The waves that turn everyone
into a psycho killer.

1377
01:32:54,920 --> 01:32:57,446
Quite. But what he
probably didn't tell anyone...

1378
01:32:57,600 --> 01:33:01,889
is it can also super heat
their soft tissue at his command.

1379
01:33:02,040 --> 01:33:06,204
Valentine selected his chosen few
to get the countdown warning...

1380
01:33:06,360 --> 01:33:09,204
but he had to be sure they didn't blab
to the wrong people beforehand.

1381
01:33:09,360 --> 01:33:11,089
How does this help us right now?

1382
01:33:12,040 --> 01:33:13,041
It doesn't.

1383
01:33:13,440 --> 01:33:14,805
Roxy, here we go!

1384
01:33:27,720 --> 01:33:31,327
The higher you go,
the more the balloons expand.

1385
01:33:31,480 --> 01:33:33,323
When you reach
the edge of the atmosphere...

1386
01:33:33,480 --> 01:33:35,608
they'll explode.

1387
01:33:35,760 --> 01:33:37,762
You'll need to deploy your missile
just before that, okay?

1388
01:33:37,960 --> 01:33:39,291
Edge of the atmosphere.

1389
01:33:39,440 --> 01:33:42,762
And once you've deployed,
you'll need to release for descent, fast.

1390
01:33:43,760 --> 01:33:45,000
Good luck.

1391
01:33:47,320 --> 01:33:49,322
- You can do this, okay?
- Yeah.

1392
01:33:49,480 --> 01:33:52,290
Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend.

1393
01:34:14,760 --> 01:34:16,762
You're getting in
on Arthur's invitation.

1394
01:34:16,960 --> 01:34:18,166
You're gonna need to blend in.

1395
01:34:18,320 --> 01:34:19,446
I'm supposed to be Arthur?

1396
01:34:19,600 --> 01:34:22,604
His invitation is in his phone.
You give them this.

1397
01:34:22,800 --> 01:34:25,280
- Give his real name, Chester King.
- What about you?

1398
01:34:25,440 --> 01:34:26,885
I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here.

1399
01:34:27,960 --> 01:34:29,041
Is that gonna fit me?

1400
01:34:29,200 --> 01:34:31,726
A bespoke suit always fits.

1401
01:34:31,880 --> 01:34:33,689
Just be grateful
Harry had it made for you.

1402
01:34:34,640 --> 01:34:35,641
Get dressed.

1403
01:34:37,080 --> 01:34:38,127
What the fuck's wrong with them?

1404
01:34:38,480 --> 01:34:41,211
I don't know. Could have something to do
with the mass genocide.

1405
01:34:41,400 --> 01:34:43,323
Give me the mic.

1406
01:34:45,120 --> 01:34:46,690
<i>Hey-oh!</i>

1407
01:34:46,840 --> 01:34:49,764
<i>Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello!</i>

1408
01:34:49,920 --> 01:34:52,161
<i>What the fuck is wrong with you people?</i>

1409
01:34:52,320 --> 01:34:55,164
<i>I just wanna remind you that today...</i>

1410
01:34:55,320 --> 01:34:57,926
<i>is a day of celebration.</i>

1411
01:34:58,720 --> 01:35:02,247
<i>We must put aside
all thoughts of death...</i>

1412
01:35:02,400 --> 01:35:04,289
<i>and focus on birth.</i>

1413
01:35:05,360 --> 01:35:07,806
<i>The birth of a new age.</i>

1414
01:35:09,000 --> 01:35:13,961
<i>We mustn't mourn those
who give their lives today.</i>

1415
01:35:14,120 --> 01:35:16,088
<i>We should honor their sacrifice...</i>

1416
01:35:16,240 --> 01:35:18,242
Has she got my number to call me back?
I got a new phone.

1417
01:35:18,440 --> 01:35:21,603
<i>...and their roles in saving
the human race.</i>

1418
01:35:24,000 --> 01:35:27,686
<i>We must put aside doubt and guilt.</i>

1419
01:35:29,080 --> 01:35:32,641
<i>You are the chosen people.</i>

1420
01:35:34,280 --> 01:35:37,727
<i>When folks tell their kids
the story of Noah's Ark...</i>

1421
01:35:37,880 --> 01:35:38,847
<i>is Noah the bad guy?</i>

1422
01:35:39,040 --> 01:35:39,689
No!

1423
01:35:39,840 --> 01:35:41,888
<i>Is God the bad guy?</i>

1424
01:35:42,040 --> 01:35:42,689
No!

1425
01:35:42,880 --> 01:35:45,281
<i>How about the animals
marching two by two?</i>

1426
01:35:45,440 --> 01:35:46,248
No!

1427
01:35:46,400 --> 01:35:47,208
<i>Of course not!</i>

1428
01:35:48,320 --> 01:35:49,685
<i>Yeah, that's it!</i>

1429
01:35:49,840 --> 01:35:53,640
<i>Let's turn those frowns upside down.</i>

1430
01:35:53,800 --> 01:35:55,643
<i>Eat, drink...</i>

1431
01:35:55,800 --> 01:35:57,484
<i>and Party!</i>

1432
01:36:00,520 --> 01:36:03,046
<i>And I will see you all in the new age.</i>

1433
01:36:28,280 --> 01:36:30,408
<i>Rox, it's me.</i>

1434
01:36:30,920 --> 01:36:32,251
<i>How's the view?</i>

1435
01:36:35,080 --> 01:36:37,162
<i>- Hideous
- Mine's pretty sweet.</i>

1436
01:36:37,320 --> 01:36:40,244
- They made you one of these suits yet?
- No, not yet.

1437
01:36:40,440 --> 01:36:42,761
<i>You've got something to
look forward to then.</i>

1438
01:36:42,920 --> 01:36:45,526
<i>We're coming up on Valentine's base.
Gotta go.</i>

1439
01:36:46,960 --> 01:36:48,291
<i>Good luck.</i>

1440
01:36:55,920 --> 01:36:56,921
Looking good, Eggsy.

1441
01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:02,331
Feeling good, Merlin.

1442
01:37:07,600 --> 01:37:09,204
<i>This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo.</i> ..

1443
01:37:09,360 --> 01:37:11,806
<i>Requesting permission to land.</i>

1444
01:37:14,800 --> 01:37:17,326
<i>Permission is granted.</i>

1445
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:22,809
Fuck me.

1446
01:37:50,000 --> 01:37:52,446
Eggsy, we're on.

1447
01:38:07,160 --> 01:38:08,161
Chester King.

1448
01:38:09,160 --> 01:38:11,128
Mr. King, welcome.

1449
01:38:11,520 --> 01:38:15,320
I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's
strict no-weapons policy...

1450
01:38:15,480 --> 01:38:16,811
- but if you don't object...
- Of course.

1451
01:38:16,960 --> 01:38:18,200
Thank you.

1452
01:38:18,680 --> 01:38:20,808
Do you have any luggage?

1453
01:38:21,800 --> 01:38:25,247
Congratulations, Mycroft,
you just graduated from my pilot to my valet.

1454
01:38:25,840 --> 01:38:28,320
- You cheeky--
- Understood?

1455
01:38:28,480 --> 01:38:29,720
Good.

1456
01:38:31,040 --> 01:38:32,644
Thank you.

1457
01:38:57,920 --> 01:39:02,562
<i>Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online.
The clock is ticking.</i>

1458
01:39:03,720 --> 01:39:06,451
<i>And remember, try to blend in.</i>

1459
01:39:06,600 --> 01:39:08,568
Would sir care for a drink?

1460
01:39:09,200 --> 01:39:10,406
Martini.

1461
01:39:10,560 --> 01:39:12,722
Gin, not vodka, obviously.

1462
01:39:12,920 --> 01:39:16,606
Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing
at an unopened bottle of vermouth.

1463
01:39:17,240 --> 01:39:18,446
Thank you.

1464
01:39:21,240 --> 01:39:23,049
Merlin, are you clocking this?

1465
01:39:23,240 --> 01:39:25,288
Yes, I am. Stay focused.

1466
01:39:25,920 --> 01:39:28,082
Lancelot, you're doing great.
Not much further to go.

1467
01:39:28,800 --> 01:39:29,926
<i>Yes, Merlin.</i>

1468
01:39:31,440 --> 01:39:33,727
<i>Eggsy, get me online now.</i>

1469
01:39:34,640 --> 01:39:35,641
Yep, I'm on it.

1470
01:39:36,800 --> 01:39:38,928
Lancelot, you're approaching
your altitude limit.

1471
01:39:39,280 --> 01:39:41,044
<i>Those balloons won't last much longer.</i>

1472
01:39:41,920 --> 01:39:43,888
<i>Prepare to engage missile.</i>

1473
01:39:59,280 --> 01:40:00,486
Society's dead.

1474
01:40:00,960 --> 01:40:02,803
Long live society.

1475
01:40:03,800 --> 01:40:05,131
Amen to that.

1476
01:40:06,600 --> 01:40:08,648
- I'm Morten Lindstrem.
- Chester King.

1477
01:40:08,960 --> 01:40:10,291
How'd you get online? I couldn't.

1478
01:40:10,680 --> 01:40:13,650
It's a closed network, you see.
Pre-authorized connections only.

1479
01:40:17,840 --> 01:40:19,126
<i>I've got a fix on the satellite.</i>

1480
01:40:19,320 --> 01:40:20,446
<i>Do you have the correct time?</i>

1481
01:40:20,600 --> 01:40:21,806
I think I'm still in my last time zone.

1482
01:40:21,960 --> 01:40:23,371
Yeah, yeah. Let's see now.

1483
01:40:37,440 --> 01:40:38,441
Eggsy, I'm in.

1484
01:40:38,600 --> 01:40:39,726
Get your arse back to the plane, now.

1485
01:40:39,880 --> 01:40:41,450
- On my way.
- Lancelot, good luck!

1486
01:40:41,600 --> 01:40:43,807
Firing in 3...2...

1487
01:40:51,160 --> 01:40:52,161
Nice and slow.

1488
01:40:52,320 --> 01:40:53,526
Fuck are you doing here?

1489
01:40:53,680 --> 01:40:56,001
Well, my family were invited, obviously.

1490
01:40:56,160 --> 01:40:57,810
Now, get the fuck up! Slowly.

1491
01:40:59,000 --> 01:41:00,889
Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire!

1492
01:41:01,040 --> 01:41:02,644
<i>That other balloon is gonna blow!</i>

1493
01:41:02,800 --> 01:41:05,849
<i>Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it.
Give me a second!</i>

1494
01:41:07,720 --> 01:41:10,644
Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy!

1495
01:41:11,320 --> 01:41:12,367
V-Glass, zoom.

1496
01:41:12,520 --> 01:41:14,568
Oh, fuck! It's that young valet.

1497
01:41:18,680 --> 01:41:20,091
Son of a bitch.

1498
01:41:20,640 --> 01:41:21,766
<i>Got it!</i>

1499
01:41:31,880 --> 01:41:33,166
Oh, shit. Sound the alarm!

1500
01:41:35,720 --> 01:41:36,767
I'm not taking any chances.

1501
01:41:36,920 --> 01:41:38,445
Okay, you send out
the 2-minute warning.

1502
01:41:38,600 --> 01:41:41,046
I'm starting the override.
All right, let's do this.

1503
01:41:42,400 --> 01:41:44,004
<i>Countdown initiated.</i>

1504
01:41:53,720 --> 01:41:55,404
- You see him?
- Right here.

1505
01:42:04,200 --> 01:42:05,440
Eggsy, take a left.

1506
01:42:06,240 --> 01:42:07,241
Two guards, up ahead.

1507
01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:20,886
Lancelot! Release now!

1508
01:42:31,920 --> 01:42:33,729
<i>Eggsy, straight ahead, then right.</i>

1509
01:42:34,120 --> 01:42:35,121
<i>There's two more.</i>

1510
01:42:38,800 --> 01:42:40,928
<i>All right, everybody on your feet!</i>

1511
01:42:41,080 --> 01:42:42,286
<i>Countdown to V-day!</i>

1512
01:42:42,440 --> 01:42:43,965
<i>Welcome in the new age!</i>

1513
01:42:52,320 --> 01:42:53,401
<i>Flat spin.</i>

1514
01:43:08,600 --> 01:43:11,444
<i>Eggsy, next left,
down the narrow tunnel!</i>

1515
01:43:20,200 --> 01:43:21,201
Here we go!

1516
01:43:21,360 --> 01:43:22,009
10...

1517
01:43:23,000 --> 01:43:24,331
<i>9...</i>

1518
01:43:24,840 --> 01:43:25,523
<i>8...</i>

1519
01:43:26,480 --> 01:43:27,163
<i>7...</i>

1520
01:43:28,400 --> 01:43:29,242
<i>6...</i>

1521
01:43:30,080 --> 01:43:31,161
5...

1522
01:43:31,760 --> 01:43:32,488
<i>4...</i>

1523
01:43:34,000 --> 01:43:34,762
<i>3...</i>

1524
01:43:34,920 --> 01:43:35,682
2...

1525
01:43:36,680 --> 01:43:37,567
1!

1526
01:43:43,600 --> 01:43:45,443
Nice! Well done, both of you.

1527
01:43:46,160 --> 01:43:47,161
It's not working!

1528
01:43:47,360 --> 01:43:49,408
It's supposed to be working!
What the fuck?

1529
01:43:56,200 --> 01:43:56,849
<i>Yes!</i>

1530
01:43:57,040 --> 01:43:58,371
Well done, Rox. Good girl.

1531
01:44:01,720 --> 01:44:04,246
We've lost one of our satellites.

1532
01:44:13,800 --> 01:44:17,566
Oh, no, no.
There's no way I can hack past that.

1533
01:44:23,120 --> 01:44:24,121
What's going on?

1534
01:44:25,320 --> 01:44:26,401
Is there a problem?

1535
01:44:27,560 --> 01:44:28,891
Come on. There's no need for guns.

1536
01:44:29,040 --> 01:44:30,565
I'm just a pilot.

1537
01:44:33,560 --> 01:44:34,607
Fuck. Merlin!

1538
01:44:37,400 --> 01:44:39,004
Get in here!

1539
01:44:43,240 --> 01:44:44,401
Come on!

1540
01:44:47,960 --> 01:44:49,291
Let's get the fuck out of here!

1541
01:44:49,440 --> 01:44:50,441
We can't.

1542
01:44:50,600 --> 01:44:52,090
I can't get into Valentine's machine.

1543
01:44:52,240 --> 01:44:53,844
He's got biometric security.

1544
01:44:55,320 --> 01:44:58,642
You're gonna have to get in there and make
sure his hand never touches that desk.

1545
01:44:58,800 --> 01:45:00,325
Are you taking the fucking piss?

1546
01:45:00,520 --> 01:45:01,760
I'm afraid not.

1547
01:45:04,920 --> 01:45:05,921
Let's have that then.

1548
01:45:07,600 --> 01:45:08,931
This is mine.

1549
01:45:09,440 --> 01:45:11,363
I'll show you yours.

1550
01:45:28,680 --> 01:45:29,602
Good choice.

1551
01:45:32,320 --> 01:45:33,890
How long to re-link the satellite chain?

1552
01:45:34,040 --> 01:45:35,280
It'll take an hour, maybe two.

1553
01:45:35,440 --> 01:45:37,568
Bullshit! Just bring these two
closer together.

1554
01:45:37,720 --> 01:45:39,051
But that's not yours.

1555
01:45:44,720 --> 01:45:46,484
V-Glass, call E-man.

1556
01:45:47,280 --> 01:45:48,645
E, it's V.

1557
01:45:48,800 --> 01:45:50,802
Listen, man,
I got a little hiccup on this end.

1558
01:45:50,960 --> 01:45:51,961
I need to piggyback.

1559
01:45:52,120 --> 01:45:56,170
One of my satellites just went down,
but it's right next to one of yours.

1560
01:45:56,680 --> 01:45:58,170
You read my mind.

1561
01:45:58,800 --> 01:46:00,404
How long before you make that happen?

1562
01:46:03,480 --> 01:46:04,527
Go.

1563
01:46:08,680 --> 01:46:10,648
All right, we should be
coming back online.

1564
01:46:13,560 --> 01:46:14,482
10 percent.

1565
01:46:17,680 --> 01:46:18,408
Shit!

1566
01:46:18,600 --> 01:46:20,364
Eggsy, Valentine's using
someone else's satellite.

1567
01:46:20,560 --> 01:46:22,528
<i>He's going to reconnect the chain.</i>

1568
01:46:22,680 --> 01:46:24,091
<i>It's going to take him no time at all.</i>

1569
01:46:25,080 --> 01:46:26,161
It's at 20 percent.

1570
01:46:44,120 --> 01:46:47,363
Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you.
Get a move on!

1571
01:47:20,880 --> 01:47:22,291
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet?

1572
01:47:22,480 --> 01:47:24,130
Not yet, but he will be soon.

1573
01:47:24,280 --> 01:47:26,009
Good.

1574
01:47:38,920 --> 01:47:39,921
Merlin, I'm fucked.

1575
01:47:53,120 --> 01:47:54,121
As am l.

1576
01:47:54,320 --> 01:47:56,641
They're coming at me from both sides.
I'm out of options.

1577
01:47:57,080 --> 01:47:59,924
Rox, I need a favor.

1578
01:48:00,080 --> 01:48:01,161
Call my mum.

1579
01:48:01,320 --> 01:48:02,845
Tell her to lock herself away from Dean.

1580
01:48:03,640 --> 01:48:04,527
<i>And the baby...</i>

1581
01:48:06,160 --> 01:48:07,161
and tell her I love her.

1582
01:48:16,120 --> 01:48:17,360
For fuck's sake.

1583
01:48:21,720 --> 01:48:24,883
Merlin, remember those implants
you said were of no use to us?

1584
01:48:26,680 --> 01:48:27,841
Any chance you can turn them on?

1585
01:48:31,560 --> 01:48:32,322
All right.

1586
01:48:32,520 --> 01:48:34,966
My turn to play, Valentine.

1587
01:48:43,480 --> 01:48:44,641
Oh, no!

1588
01:48:44,800 --> 01:48:47,246
What the fuck is he doing?
I can't stop this.

1589
01:49:00,640 --> 01:49:01,721
Yes, please.

1590
01:49:05,360 --> 01:49:06,566
No!

1591
01:50:03,320 --> 01:50:05,402
<i>Oh, my God!</i>

1592
01:50:05,560 --> 01:50:07,562
That is fucking spectacular!

1593
01:50:07,720 --> 01:50:10,485
Merlin, you're a fucking genius!

1594
01:50:10,640 --> 01:50:13,803
What the fuck is happening out there?

1595
01:50:18,120 --> 01:50:19,406
Aren't you that princess
who went missing?

1596
01:50:19,560 --> 01:50:20,607
Can you get me out?

1597
01:50:21,240 --> 01:50:23,163
If I do, will you give me a kiss?

1598
01:50:23,320 --> 01:50:24,765
I've always wanted to kiss a princess.

1599
01:50:24,920 --> 01:50:26,922
If you get me out right now,
I'll give you more than just a kiss.

1600
01:50:29,160 --> 01:50:30,400
<i>You motherfucker.</i>

1601
01:50:30,600 --> 01:50:32,409
<i>Did you really think
I was stupid enough...</i>

1602
01:50:32,600 --> 01:50:34,762
<i>to implant one of those
things in my own head?</i>

1603
01:50:35,200 --> 01:50:36,770
<i>What are you, fucking crazy?</i>

1604
01:50:37,720 --> 01:50:40,007
All those innocent people killed
and for what?

1605
01:50:40,880 --> 01:50:43,724
You didn't stop shit!

1606
01:50:45,080 --> 01:50:47,082
Fine, I've locked the door.
What do you want me to do now?

1607
01:50:47,280 --> 01:50:50,124
As I said, put your daughter
in the bathroom and throw away the key.

1608
01:50:50,880 --> 01:50:53,281
It's still happening!

1609
01:50:53,440 --> 01:50:54,601
You're fucking insane!

1610
01:50:54,760 --> 01:50:55,886
<i>Just do it.</i>

1611
01:51:23,200 --> 01:51:24,565
Eggsy, the signal's started!

1612
01:51:24,720 --> 01:51:27,883
Get Valentine's hand off
that bloody desk now!

1613
01:51:28,040 --> 01:51:28,962
Sorry, love.

1614
01:51:29,400 --> 01:51:30,481
Got to save the world.

1615
01:51:31,760 --> 01:51:33,683
I'll be right back.

1616
01:51:35,120 --> 01:51:36,087
Good luck!

1617
01:51:42,880 --> 01:51:43,722
London.

1618
01:52:12,320 --> 01:52:13,287
Rio.

1619
01:52:29,320 --> 01:52:30,162
Get down!

1620
01:52:32,320 --> 01:52:33,162
You did it!

1621
01:52:42,760 --> 01:52:44,683
The glass is not gonna hold long.

1622
01:52:46,360 --> 01:52:47,964
You stay here.

1623
01:52:50,200 --> 01:52:51,361
Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there?

1624
01:52:51,680 --> 01:52:53,603
- Keep shooting, I'll find a route.
- Understood.

1625
01:53:10,160 --> 01:53:11,241
Holy fuck!

1626
01:53:29,760 --> 01:53:31,046
We're back up.

1627
01:53:31,920 --> 01:53:33,251
We're back up!

1628
01:53:40,240 --> 01:53:41,969
This is great!

1629
01:53:50,080 --> 01:53:50,922
<i>Eggsy!</i>

1630
01:53:51,080 --> 01:53:52,605
Fucking get on with it!

1631
01:53:52,800 --> 01:53:54,006
Kick his ass, Gazy!

1632
01:54:00,640 --> 01:54:03,450
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai!

1633
01:54:11,800 --> 01:54:14,280
Kill that motherfucker!
He killed all our friends!

1634
01:54:31,640 --> 01:54:33,642
Eggsy, the world is going to shit!

1635
01:54:43,040 --> 01:54:45,122
- Is he dead yet?
- Not yet!

1636
01:54:45,280 --> 01:54:47,408
Stop playing with your food!

1637
01:54:47,560 --> 01:54:48,561
Kill him!

1638
01:56:06,680 --> 01:56:08,045
Gazelle!

1639
01:56:09,880 --> 01:56:11,041
Gazelle!

1640
01:56:20,680 --> 01:56:22,409
Come on! Come on!

1641
01:56:25,400 --> 01:56:26,083
<i>Kill him!</i>

1642
01:56:43,720 --> 01:56:44,369
Hey!

1643
01:57:09,440 --> 01:57:10,965
<i>Well done, son!</i>

1644
01:57:12,280 --> 01:57:13,247
Yes!

1645
01:57:13,400 --> 01:57:14,561
Yes, Eggsy!

1646
01:57:14,720 --> 01:57:16,290
Well done, Eggsy!

1647
01:57:16,800 --> 01:57:17,961
And you, Lancelot.

1648
01:57:20,720 --> 01:57:23,291
I'm so sorry.
Mummy would never hurt you.

1649
01:57:23,920 --> 01:57:26,969
Mummy would never hurt you.
I'm so sorry.

1650
01:57:29,440 --> 01:57:30,487
Are you okay?

1651
01:57:34,240 --> 01:57:36,129
Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy.

1652
01:57:37,480 --> 01:57:38,561
He was right.

1653
01:57:54,000 --> 01:57:55,286
What's up, man?

1654
01:57:55,640 --> 01:57:59,008
Is this the part where you say
some really bad pun?

1655
01:58:00,480 --> 01:58:02,482
Well, it's like you said to Harry.

1656
01:58:05,680 --> 01:58:08,001
This ain't that kind of movie, bruv.

1657
01:58:09,480 --> 01:58:10,925
Perfect.

1658
01:58:31,800 --> 01:58:33,006
Eggsy, where are you going?

1659
01:58:33,160 --> 01:58:35,288
There's no need for champagne.
We got loads in the plane.

1660
01:58:42,520 --> 01:58:43,601
Did you save the world?

1661
01:58:44,200 --> 01:58:45,690
Yes, I did.

1662
01:58:47,000 --> 01:58:49,810
So, you gonna come in?

1663
01:58:50,560 --> 01:58:52,050
Yes, I am.

1664
01:58:57,520 --> 01:58:59,409
Merlin, the cell's locked.
How do I get in?

1665
01:59:01,680 --> 01:59:03,205
26-25.

1666
01:59:07,560 --> 01:59:10,166
Merlin, you're the guvnor.

1667
01:59:12,360 --> 01:59:14,727
<i>You owe me, Eggsy.</i>

1668
01:59:20,360 --> 01:59:21,407
Eggsy?

1669
01:59:27,400 --> 01:59:29,084
Oh, my word.

1670
02:00:16,280 --> 02:00:19,124
Michelle, turn that shit off.
It's doing my nut in.

1671
02:00:20,120 --> 02:00:21,645
I rather like that song.

1672
02:00:22,160 --> 02:00:23,764
Leave it on, eh, Mum?

1673
02:00:27,520 --> 02:00:29,443
Mugsy's back.

1674
02:00:29,560 --> 02:00:31,608
You've finally come
to have that word with me, have you, son?

1675
02:00:32,360 --> 02:00:33,646
Or are you gonna run away again...

1676
02:00:33,800 --> 02:00:35,404
and pretend you're going to court,
dressed like that?

1677
02:00:35,840 --> 02:00:37,251
Oh, you mean this?

1678
02:00:38,760 --> 02:00:40,091
No.

1679
02:00:40,680 --> 02:00:44,002
I know this bloke who's just taken over
a tailor shop on Savile Row.

1680
02:00:45,080 --> 02:00:46,650
He's given me a job, Mum.

1681
02:00:47,360 --> 02:00:48,646
It comes with a lot of perks.

1682
02:00:50,040 --> 02:00:51,371
Including a house.

1683
02:00:52,520 --> 02:00:54,363
Come and live with me there, Mum.

1684
02:00:54,960 --> 02:00:56,041
Come on.

1685
02:00:56,200 --> 02:00:56,928
Sit down, you.

1686
02:00:58,320 --> 02:01:00,527
Only place she'll be visiting
is you in fucking hospital.

1687
02:01:00,680 --> 02:01:02,489
- Do you hear?
- Just leave him alone, Dean!

1688
02:01:02,640 --> 02:01:04,881
Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe.

1689
02:01:06,360 --> 02:01:07,646
All right.

1690
02:01:07,800 --> 02:01:09,370
That's it, do as Mummy says.

1691
02:01:09,520 --> 02:01:12,364
Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours,
and knock up a nice chicken costume.

1692
02:01:12,520 --> 02:01:13,885
It'll suit you, you mug.

1693
02:01:16,160 --> 02:01:18,925
As a good friend once said...

1694
02:01:20,240 --> 02:01:21,366
"Manners...

1695
02:01:23,280 --> 02:01:24,247
"maketh...

1696
02:01:26,840 --> 02:01:27,841
"man."

1697
02:01:28,680 --> 02:01:31,047
- Dean?
- Shut the fuck up.

1698
02:01:31,200 --> 02:01:33,646
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners
up your fucking--

1699
02:01:39,600 --> 02:01:40,487
So...

1700
02:01:40,840 --> 02:01:44,845
are we gonna stand around here all day,
or are we gonna fight?