1 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,403 This is Zero One Alpha. We have secured Falcon. 2 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,604 I say again, we have secured Falcon. 3 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,246 By the time I count to ten... 4 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,527 ...you will have told me exactly what I need to know. 5 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,000 If not... 6 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,047 ...the number ten will be the last thing you will ever hear. 7 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:57,240 One 8 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,043 Two 9 00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:59,360 Three 10 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,480 Four 11 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:01,720 Five 12 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:02,760 Six 13 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:03,880 Seven 14 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:04,563 Eight 15 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,364 Grenade! Sir, get back! 16 00:02:06,388 --> 00:02:10,388 M.R. Sumon @ Subscene.com 17 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,051 Shit. 18 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,290 Fucking missed it. 19 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,882 How did I fucking miss it? 20 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,684 Merlin, I apologize for putting you in this position. 21 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,405 You trained him well. 22 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,970 James... 23 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,202 training is over. 24 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,442 Welcome to Kingsman. 25 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,246 Lancelot. 26 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,401 Sir. 27 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,770 I'll deal with this mess personally. 28 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,923 I very much regret that your husband's bravery can't be publicly celebrated. 29 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,406 I hope you understand. 30 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,085 How can I understand? 31 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,242 You won't tell me anything. 32 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,600 I didn't even know he wasn't with his squad. 33 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,000 I'm so sorry, I can't say more. 34 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,449 But I would like to present you with this Medal of Valor... 35 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:20,969 and if you look closely on the back, there's a number. 36 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,846 And as a more concrete gesture of our gratitude... 37 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,923 we'd like to offer you... 38 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,441 Let's call it a favor. 39 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,130 The nature of it is your choice. 40 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,645 Just tell the operator... 41 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,522 "oxfords not brogues," and then I'll know it's you. 42 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,531 I don't want your help! 43 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,081 I want my husband back! 44 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,126 What's your name, young man? 45 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:52,680 Eggsy. 46 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,125 Hello, Eggsy. 47 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,531 Can I see that? 48 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,288 You take care of this, Eggsy. 49 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,691 All right? 50 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,205 And take care of your mum, too. 51 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,726 So sorry, Professor Arnold. Just a tiny bit more. 52 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,406 For God's sakes, just rip it off. 53 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,087 I'm under very strict instructions not to hurt you. 54 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,521 Look, you've made a mistake. 55 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,445 I'm a university lecturer. I've got no money. 56 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,090 This isn't about money. 57 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,208 Our boss just wants to talk to you. 58 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,283 Am I meant to find that reassuring? 59 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,568 He'll be here soon. He'll explain. 60 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,370 Do you like whiskey? 61 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,771 Red, get the '62 Dalmore. 62 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,129 Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing. 63 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,249 You will shit. 64 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,923 I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far? 65 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:19,811 Professor Arnold, I'm here to take you home. 66 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,443 1962 Dalmore. 67 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,683 It'd be a sin to spill any. 68 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,805 Don't you think? 69 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,688 Can you hold these? Please? 70 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,960 Thank you. 71 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,568 Everything is clean. 72 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,045 My kind of welcome. 73 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,568 No stomach for violence. 74 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,643 I mean, literally, I see one drop of blood... 75 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,723 that is me done. 76 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,081 I'm like... 77 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,571 projectile. 78 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,927 Listen, I'm so sorry... 79 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:16,450 you had to witness all this unpleasantness due to our uninvited guest. 80 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,770 But I promise you, by the time I've found out who he works for... 81 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:25,244 you and I will be the best of friends. 82 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,888 To the shop, please. 83 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,520 Arthur's in the dining room, sir. 84 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,006 Arthur. 85 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,406 Galahad. 86 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:16,282 The others were beginning to wonder if we were going to have a double toast. 87 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,931 Gentlemen, I'm thankful to say it's been 17 years... 88 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,487 since we last had occasion to use this decanter. 89 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,763 Lancelot was an outstanding agent, and a true Kingsman. 90 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,371 He will be sorely missed. 91 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:34,921 To Lancelot. 92 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,410 To Lancelot. 93 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:46,480 I intend to start the selection process for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow. 94 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,161 I want each of you to propose a candidate... 95 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,687 and have them report to UK HQ... 96 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,008 no later than 9 p.m. GMT. 97 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,640 Thank you. 98 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,000 Merlin. 99 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,530 Come in. 100 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,566 Lancelot was investigating a group of mercenaries... 101 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,451 who were experimenting with biological weaponry. 102 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:08,680 Glasses, gentlemen, please. 103 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,601 Uganda, 2012. 104 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,290 Synthetic cathinones. 105 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,887 They put it in the water supply of a guerrilla army base. 106 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:22,283 Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities. 107 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,130 Chechnya, 2013. 108 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,090 Insurgents turned on one another. 109 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,006 Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries, but no trace of any chemicals of any kind. 110 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,320 So what happened to Lancelot? 111 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,289 He tracked them to this property in Argentina. 112 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:37,766 While he had them under surveillance... 113 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,763 he became aware they'd effected a kidnapping. 114 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,605 So he executed a solo rescue mission, which failed. 115 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,005 This is his last transmission. 116 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,526 - Who is he? - Some climate change doomsayer. 117 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,320 Expounds something called "Gaia theory"... 118 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,124 about the world healing itself, or some such. 119 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,171 But what's curious, is he's not actually missing. 120 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,967 This is Professor Arnold... 121 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,168 at Imperial College this morning. 122 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,004 It's all yours. 123 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,487 And don't forget your membership proposal. 124 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,723 Try picking a more suitable candidate this time. 125 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,769 17 years and still... 126 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:18,561 evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. 127 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,809 Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that young man? 128 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,566 He was as much Kingsman material as any of them. 129 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:25,926 More so. 130 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,124 But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he? 131 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,487 Let's face it, Galahad, your little experiment failed. 132 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,686 With respect, Arthur, you're a snob. 133 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:38,961 "With respect"? 134 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,322 The world is changing. 135 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,485 There's a reason why aristocrats developed weak chins. 136 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,240 Eggsy? 137 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,204 Eggsy, come here. 138 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,209 - Got any Rizla, babe? - No. 139 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,408 Why don't you do your mum a favor, go down to the shop and get some? 140 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:18,891 - Get them yourself. - Oi. 141 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,691 What have I said to you about speaking to Dean like that? 142 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,327 Three's a crowd, innit? Why don't Dean's poodle go? 143 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,970 I'll tell you what. 144 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,884 Why don't you take this, go and get some Rizlas... 145 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,000 get yourself some sweets? And while you're gone... 146 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,964 we'll show your mother how three can be good company. 147 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,560 Thanks, babe. 148 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,964 There we go. 149 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,166 Is that better? 150 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,321 If Dean treats your mum so bad, why doesn't she leave him? 151 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,448 Low self-esteem. That's her problem. 152 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,400 Fuck off. Why would she have low self-esteem? 153 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,369 Eggsy's mum is well fit. 154 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,882 - No offense, bruv. - It's all right. 155 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,121 One of these days, I'm gonna smash his face in. 156 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:20,725 Are you mental, cuz? 157 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,600 He'd just get that lot to do you, and then pretend he knew nothing... 158 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,040 ...about it. 159 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,767 You think you can chat shit about us and we won't do nothing... 160 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,082 just because our guvnor's banging Eggsy's mum? 161 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,083 Pretty much, yeah. 162 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,402 Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man. 163 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,560 It's not worth it. 164 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,246 You boys have outstayed your welcome. 165 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,560 Leave. 166 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,321 What? 167 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,923 I'm sorry about that, bruv. 168 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,000 Yeah. 169 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,127 Mug. 170 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,402 They weren't fucking worth it, boys. 171 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,768 It's freezing. Why are we walking? 172 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,763 You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv? 173 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,446 Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car. 174 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,451 Shit! 175 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,810 Hold on, boys. 176 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,049 Hey, that's my fucking car! 177 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,441 Hey! Hey! Eggsy! 178 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,648 I swear, you want to fucking stop it! 179 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,366 You're a fucking dead man! Stop it! 180 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,320 I'm gonna fucking have ya! 181 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,965 Floor it, Eggsy! 182 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,120 Floor it! 183 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,080 Wanker! 184 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,445 Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me. 185 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,602 Eggsy just stole my fucking car. 186 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,604 I've come out the pub, he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face... 187 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,330 and he's drove off. 188 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,608 No, I can't have it! He's disrespecting me. 189 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,967 And that means, he's disrespecting you. 190 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,004 Hold up! What the...? 191 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:39,840 Dickhead. 192 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,643 Foxes are vermin, cuz. 193 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,245 Should've driven it over. 194 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,368 Should've done a lot of things. 195 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,204 I'll sort this. Get out of the car. 196 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,888 I said, get out of the fucking car! 197 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,848 Eggsy, there is no such thing as honor amongst thieves. 198 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,561 Now, you can start giving me some names of the boys you were with... 199 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,565 or you go down. 200 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,771 It's up to you. 201 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,680 I want to exercise my right to a phone call. 202 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,762 Well, I hope it's to your mum... 203 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,447 to tell her you're gonna be 18 months late for your dinner. 204 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,767 Customer Complaints, how may I help you? 205 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,130 My name's Eggsy Unwin. 206 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:05,763 Sorry, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek. 207 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,240 I'm in Holborn police station... 208 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,044 and my mum said to call this number if ever I needed help. 209 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,680 I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number. 210 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,211 Wait! Wait! 211 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,201 Oxfords not brogues. 212 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,440 Your complaint has been duly noted... 213 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,643 and we hope that we have not lost you as a loyal customer. 214 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,041 Yeah. 215 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,971 You what? 216 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,367 I... 217 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,801 Yeah. 218 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,171 Yes, I totally understand. 219 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:06,766 Eggsy. 220 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:08,886 Would you like a lift home? 221 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,841 Who are you? 222 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,365 The man who got you released. 223 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:13,851 That ain't an answer. 224 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,367 A little gratitude would be nice. 225 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:20,842 My name is Harry Hart, and I gave you that medal. 226 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,402 Your father saved my life. 227 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,808 So before you was a tailor, was you in the army? 228 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,691 Like an officer. 229 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,370 Not quite. 230 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,329 So where was you posted, Iraq or something? 231 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,767 Sorry, Eggsy. Classified. 232 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,365 But my dad saved your life, yeah? 233 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,927 The day your father died, I missed something. 234 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,166 And if it weren't for his courage... 235 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,244 my mistake would have cost the lives of every man present. 236 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,685 So I owe him. 237 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,888 Your father was a brave man. 238 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,889 A good man. 239 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,200 And having read your files... 240 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,681 I think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made. 241 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,080 You can't talk to me like that. 242 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,200 Huge I.Q. 243 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,129 Great performance at primary school. 244 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,371 And it all went tits up. 245 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,251 Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job. 246 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,084 You think there's a lot of jobs going around here, do you? 247 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,730 Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. 248 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,491 First prize, regional Under-10s gymnastics... 249 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,880 two years in a row. 250 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,247 Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material. 251 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,084 Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad... 252 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,730 you pick up new hobbies pretty quick. 253 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,609 Of course. Always someone else's fault. 254 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,040 Who's to blame for you quitting the Marines? 255 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,561 You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up. 256 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,722 Because my mum went mental. 257 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,690 Banging on about losing me as well as my dad. 258 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,286 Didn't want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you. 259 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,841 Judging people like me from your ivory towers... 260 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,241 with no thought about why we do what we do. 261 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,286 We ain't got much choice. You get me? 262 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,121 And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses... 263 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,124 we'd do just as well as you. If not, better. 264 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,124 What the fuck you doing here? You taking the piss? 265 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,081 Some more examples of young men... 266 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,969 who simply need a silver suppository? 267 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,645 No, they're exceptions. Come on. 268 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,245 Nonsense. We haven't finished our drinks. 269 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,481 After you nicked his car... 270 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,966 Dean says you're fair game. 271 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,720 He don't give a shit what your mum says. 272 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,131 Listen, boys... 273 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,488 I've had a rather emotional day... 274 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,964 so whatever your beef with Eggsy is, and I'm sure it's well-founded... 275 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,810 I'd appreciate it enormously... 276 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,928 if you could just leave us in peace... 277 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,651 until I finish this lovely pint of Guinness. 278 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,480 You should get out of the way, Granddad, or you'll get hurt and all. 279 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,005 He ain't joking. You should go. 280 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,001 Excuse me. 281 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,920 If you're looking for another rent boy, they're on the corner of Smith street. 282 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:53,806 Manners... 283 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,286 maketh... 284 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,565 man. 285 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,804 Do you know what that means? 286 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,842 Then let me teach you a lesson. 287 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,763 Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight? 288 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,569 You fucking dirty, fucking dirty... 289 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,211 Sorry about that. 290 00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,124 Needed to let off a little steam. 291 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,807 I heard yesterday a friend of mine died. 292 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,008 He knew your father too, actually. 293 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,648 Now, I do apologize, Eggsy. 294 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,802 I shouldn't have done this in front of you. 295 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,962 No, please! I won't say nothing, I swear! 296 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,650 If there's one thing I can do, it's keep my mouth shut. 297 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,165 - You won't tell a soul? - Ask the feds. 298 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,321 I've never grassed anyone up. 299 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,801 - Is that a promise? - On my life! 300 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,843 Much appreciated, Eggsy. 301 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,764 You're right about the snobs. 302 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,161 But there, too, there are exceptions. 303 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,889 Best of luck with everything. 304 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:52,444 In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine movie premiered in Hollywood last night. 305 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,410 The story of the internet billionaire's rise to power... 306 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,370 is expected to be this award season's hot ticket. 307 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,524 One notable absence from the red carpet was Iggy Azalea... 308 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,207 still missing three days after she failed to appear at her Oakland concert. 309 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:06,930 No ransom has been demanded. 310 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,048 Eggsy, just go, please, because he's gonna... 311 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,730 No, please, don't hurt him! 312 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,564 Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya! 313 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:14,966 Shut the fuck up! 314 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,248 Who was with you in that fucking pub? 315 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,562 I want to know the name of the geezer you was with. 316 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,563 - I wasn't with no one! - Who was it? 317 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,131 - I don't know what you're on about. - Who was it? 318 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:24,441 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 319 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,726 Fucking tell me his name! 320 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,201 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 321 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,441 You listen to me! 322 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,568 I want to know who you was with in that pub. Do you understand? 323 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,609 I want to know his fucking name! 324 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,730 Because, I swear, I'll rip your head off. 325 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:41,651 - Tell me! 326 00:24:41,676 --> 00:24:43,987 - I don't know what you're fucking on about! 327 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:45,167 Just tell him, Eggsy! 328 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,129 Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle! 329 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,566 I could kill you right now... 330 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,246 and no one in the whole world will notice! 331 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,084 But I would. 332 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,083 I have enough evidence on your activities... 333 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,242 to have you locked up for the rest of your life... 334 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,641 - Mr. Dean Anthony Baker. - What the fuck? 335 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,410 So I suggest you leave the boy alone... 336 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,161 or I shall be forced to deliver it to the appropriate authorities. 337 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,731 Eggsy, meet me at the tailor I told you about. 338 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,360 What the fuck's going on here? 339 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,526 Eggsy, you fucking maggot! 340 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,886 Hey, we got a racer! 341 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,530 Come here. Hey! 342 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,366 Eggsy, you fucking... 343 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,806 Come here, son! 344 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,321 You wanker! 345 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,130 I'll have you, son! 346 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,562 I've never met a tailor before. 347 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,731 But I know you ain't one. 348 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,364 Come with me. 349 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,326 Come on in. 350 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,041 What do you see? 351 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,563 Someone who wants to know what the fuck is going on. 352 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,607 I see a young man with potential. 353 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,684 A young man who is loyal. 354 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,569 Who can do as he's asked. 355 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,530 And who wants to do something good with his life. 356 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,122 Did you see the film Trading Places? 357 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,205 No. 358 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,125 How about Nikita? 359 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,531 Pretty Woman? 360 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,521 All right. 361 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,729 My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path... 362 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,723 but you needn't stay on it. 363 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:06,807 If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform. 364 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,203 Like in My Fair Lady. 365 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,288 Well, you're full of surprises. 366 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,245 Yes, like My Fair Lady. 367 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:19,608 Only, in this case, I'm offering you the opportunity to become a Kingsman. 368 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,611 A tailor? 369 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,411 A Kingsman agent. 370 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,246 Like a spy? 371 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:27,566 Of sorts. 372 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:30,560 Interested? 373 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,242 You think I've got anything to lose? 374 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,765 Since 1849... 375 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:46,084 Kingsman tailors have clothed the world's most powerful individuals. 376 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:50,928 By 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War One. 377 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,082 That meant a lot of money going uninherited. 378 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,290 And a lot of powerful men with a desire to preserve peace and protect life. 379 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,364 Our founders realized that they could channel that wealth and influence... 380 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,170 for the greater good. 381 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,608 And so began our other venture. 382 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,761 An independent, international intelligence agency... 383 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,288 operating at the highest level of discretion. 384 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,570 Above the politics and bureaucracy... 385 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,930 that undermine the integrity of government-run spy organizations. 386 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,007 The suit is a modern gentleman's armor. 387 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,923 And the Kingsman agents are the new knights. 388 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,604 How deep does this fucking thing go? 389 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:31,807 Deep enough. 390 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,164 Shit, we're late. 391 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,366 Your father had the same look on his face. 392 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,405 As did I. 393 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,206 Come on. 394 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,047 Galahad. 395 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,201 My code name. 396 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:57,850 Late again, sir. 397 00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:59,531 Good luck. 398 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:01,211 In you go. 399 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:13,881 Fall in. 400 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,964 Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin. 401 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,201 You are about to embark... 402 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,091 on what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world. 403 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:28,767 One of you, and only one of you, will become the next Lancelot. 404 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,763 Can anybody tell me what this is? 405 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,244 - Yes? - Body bag, sir. 406 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,721 Correct. Charlie, isn't it? 407 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:38,920 Yes, sir. 408 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:39,722 Good. 409 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,247 In a moment, you will each collect a body bag. 410 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,249 You will write your name on that bag. 411 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,843 You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag. 412 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,288 This represents your acknowledgment of the risks that you are about to face... 413 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,729 as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality. 414 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,963 Which, incidentally, if you break, will result in you... 415 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,561 and your next of kin... 416 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,610 being in that bag. 417 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,691 Is that understood? 418 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,361 Excellent. 419 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,246 Fall out. 420 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,961 Roxanne. But call me Roxy. 421 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,131 - I'm Eggsy. - "Eggy"? 422 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,280 No, "Eggsy". 423 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:24,771 Eggy? 424 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,046 Where did they dig you up? 425 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,328 You know we're not allowed to discuss who proposed us. 426 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:29,766 No need to bite his head off. 427 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,287 Charlie's only making conversation, right, Charlie? 428 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,120 I'm Digby. 429 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:36,083 Digby. 430 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,651 Eggy, this is Rufus. 431 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,325 Rufus, Eggy. 432 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,290 So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge? 433 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:45,443 Neither. 434 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,931 - Saint Andrews? - Durham? 435 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,003 No, wait, I think we may have met. 436 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,721 Did you serve me at the McDonald's in Winchester service station? 437 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:53,840 No. 438 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,806 It's definitely Saint Andrews. 439 00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,566 Just ignore them. 440 00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:59,801 You need a pen? 441 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:00,722 Cheers. 442 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,291 Amelia, isn't it? 443 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:03,891 Amelia, Eggsy. 444 00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,201 Hi, Eggsy. 445 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,324 Don't take any notice of those guys. 446 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,164 That's what I told him. 447 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:12,686 It's just scare tactics. 448 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,565 Classic army technique. 449 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:15,881 No one's gonna die. 450 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,246 Shame. 451 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,567 Great. You don't know, the CIA don't know. 452 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,246 Nobody knows who this guy is? 453 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,001 Fine. 454 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:31,525 Seriously, it's fine. 455 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:35,566 Well, it's not really fine, but it's not why I'm here. 456 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:39,207 Hell, man, you know me. Money's not my issue. 457 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,089 I could've retired straight out of MIT... 458 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,720 fucked off to some island, let the business run itself. 459 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,645 Nobody told me to try and save the planet. 460 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,450 I wanted to. 461 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:52,321 Climate change research, lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars... 462 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,289 and you know why I quit? 463 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:59,487 Because the last time I checked, the planet was still fucked. 464 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,326 Hence, my epiphany. 465 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,245 Money won't solve this. 466 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,080 Those idiots who call themselves politicians... 467 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,290 have buried their heads in the sand and stood for nothing but re-election. 468 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:17,404 So I spent the last two years trying to find a real solution. 469 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,923 And I found it. 470 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,129 Now, if you really want to make the world a better place... 471 00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:28,763 I suggest you open your fucking ears, because I'm about to tell it to you. 472 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,803 Go on, Mr. Valentine. 473 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,485 I'm still listening. 474 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:37,171 As long as you agree to all my terms. 475 00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,885 All right, no one panic. Listen to me. 476 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,207 Stay calm. 477 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,040 Fuck. 478 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,405 Loo snorkels, loo snorkels! 479 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:34,680 Loo snorkels? 480 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,840 Showerheads! 481 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:37,722 Showerheads? 482 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,325 She's right. Fucking go! 483 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:43,766 Hey, hang about, what's wrong with the fucking door? 484 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,250 Congratulations on completing your first task. 485 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,171 Charlie, Roxy, well done. 486 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,129 For those of you who are still confused... 487 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,487 if you can get a breathing tube around a U-bend of a toilet... 488 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,483 you have an unlimited air supply. 489 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,120 Simple physics, worth remembering. 490 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,608 Eggsy, well done for spotting that was a two-way mirror. 491 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:26,761 He's probably seen enough of them. 492 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,810 Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks off your faces. 493 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,800 Because as far as I'm concerned, every single one of you has failed. 494 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,209 You all forgot the most important thing... 495 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,486 teamwork. 496 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,331 So much for classic army technique. 497 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:00,760 35. 498 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:02,805 105. 499 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,761 That's it. That's it. 500 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:11,360 Hello. 501 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:12,847 Can I help you? 502 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,408 Yes. I have a question about anthropogenic force. 503 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,009 Really? It's actually quite fascinating. 504 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,530 My colleague died trying to rescue you... 505 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,404 and I'm sure you saw how well trained he was... 506 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,200 so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped you and why they let you go. 507 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,084 I have no idea what you're talking... 508 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,121 I'm not supposed to say it, but it was... 509 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,204 For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 510 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:37,691 Man up! 511 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,443 Fuck that guy, whoever he is. I'm gonna... 512 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,968 He made me kill Professor Arnold. 513 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,451 I goddamn loved Professor Arnold. 514 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,681 Well, the good news is... 515 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:08,649 we know the emergency and surveillance system work. 516 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,768 You know what's not good news? 517 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,649 "My colleague died!" 518 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,211 That's what he said! 519 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,727 This is an organization, and they're all over us. 520 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,724 - Whoever you spoke to... - I told you... 521 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,441 I made contact with the KGB, MI6, Mossad and Beijing. 522 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,200 They all insist he wasn't one of theirs. 523 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:25,726 Beijing. 524 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:30,404 So freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese secret service. 525 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,002 Now, that's what you call a secret, right? 526 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,769 You know what? Fuck it. 527 00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:37,810 We need to speed things up. 528 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,360 Bring the product release forward. 529 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,323 We're only halfway into production... 530 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:42,925 and speeding it will cost a fortune. 531 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:44,366 Do I look like I give a fuck? 532 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,443 Just get it done. 533 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,531 As some of you will have learned last night... 534 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,169 teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman. 535 00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:00,120 We're here to enhance your skills, test you to the limit. 536 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,727 Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy. 537 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,723 Wherever you go, your dog goes. 538 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,087 You will care for it. You will teach it. 539 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,329 And by the time it's fully trained, so will you be. 540 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,086 Those of you who are still here, that is. 541 00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:16,163 Do you understand? 542 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,249 Choose your puppy. 543 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,081 A poodle? 544 00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:23,240 What? 545 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:24,924 They're gun dogs. 546 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:26,570 Oldest working breed. 547 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,524 Easy to train. 548 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:30,846 A pug? 549 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:33,884 It's a bulldog, innit? 550 00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,720 It'll get bigger, though, won't it? 551 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,728 Shit. 552 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:49,042 His MRI shows no signs of concussion. 553 00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:52,210 No direct brain trauma at all. 554 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,602 How much longer can he be out? 555 00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:55,921 That's the million-dollar question. 556 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:57,929 We don't know what he was exposed to in there. 557 00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,565 What about Harry's footage? 558 00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:01,404 It didn't stream to his home terminal. 559 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,530 Encrypted and uncrackable. 560 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:05,960 If and when he comes around... 561 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,686 you might want to have a word with him about sharing his password. 562 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,530 Is he gonna be all right? 563 00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:13,370 We need to have patience, Eggsy. 564 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,131 But there's hope, okay? 565 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,404 If I were you, I'd concentrate on your training. 566 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,762 Make it through the tests. Make him proud. 567 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:28,890 Come on, come on, come on! 568 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,122 J.B., come on! Come on! 569 00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:36,242 I'm not coming last because of you. 570 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,560 J.B., I'll shoot you! Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you! 571 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,484 Merlin said we're not allowed to hold you. 572 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,165 Bollocks. 573 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:29,680 Water! 574 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,450 - Come on, then! - Eggsy, forget it! 575 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,240 What's wrong, mate? You can't take a joke? 576 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,442 Seriously, you'll get thrown out, and it's just not worth it. 577 00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,130 Maybe I don't give a fuck if I get kicked out! 578 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:41,645 Do it. Come on, you pleb. 579 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,211 Charlie, fuck off! 580 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,290 Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead. 581 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:50,721 Come on, J.B. 582 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,961 Come on, good boy. 583 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,161 You have exactly one hour to complete the test... 584 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,890 starting now. 585 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,689 New target, 800 meters. 586 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,484 You know, it's unbelievable. You're still here... 587 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:19,167 lingering like some big, steaming shit that just won't flush. 588 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,845 Roger that. Target identified. 589 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,002 And how about you shut the fuck up? 590 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:24,286 Positive discrimination... 591 00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:25,885 that's what it is. 592 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:29,203 It's like those fucking state school kids who get into Oxford on C grades... 593 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,040 because their mum is a one-legged lesbian. 594 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,760 You don't know fuck all about my grades. 595 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,729 Forgive me, I'm sure you're highly educated. 596 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,370 Fire when ready. 597 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,522 How's that for positive discrimination? 598 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,009 I want to thank you both for listening... 599 00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,243 and I really, really appreciate you travelling all this way... 600 00:42:58,400 --> 00:42:59,401 Your Royal Highness. 601 00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:01,364 And you, too, Prime Minister. 602 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,569 I think this is quite brilliant. 603 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,566 It's absolutely brilliant. 604 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,164 You are completely crazy. 605 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:14,770 And as for you, Prime Minister 606 00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,087 I'm speechless you'd even consider this. 607 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,370 - Don't touch... - Sorry, Your Royal Highness. 608 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:26,567 But you've got a big role to play... 609 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:29,291 in getting the Scandinavian region back on track. 610 00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:30,965 You're popular, inspirational... 611 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,566 and you have the power to galvanize the people. 612 00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:36,564 Now, whether you're on board or not... 613 00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:38,370 I'm going to have to insist... 614 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,410 on getting you somewhere I can ensure your safety. 615 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,127 How about you, Prime Minister? You in or out? 616 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,605 Well, I think it's about time... 617 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:51,448 that a politician did something that actually made a difference. 618 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,763 Too true. 619 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:54,762 What? 620 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:56,251 Take her away. 621 00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:00,920 Drink? 622 00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,285 Why not? 623 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,168 Guards! Help! 624 00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:07,968 Don't worry. 625 00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,605 No harm will come to the princess. 626 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:14,250 Well, I'm a republican anyways, so it really doesn't matter. 627 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:16,760 Release the princess! 628 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:51,641 Okay, you're done. 629 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,325 Not so bad, right? 630 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,683 Hardly felt a thing. 631 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,490 Welcome aboard. 632 00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,803 Pleasure is all mine. 633 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,121 Ever heard of knocking? 634 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:09,760 Only when I'm casing a place to rob. 635 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:12,480 Merlin said you wanted to see me? 636 00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,688 I hope J.B.'s training is going as well as yours is. 637 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,007 Sit. 638 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,410 Congratulations on making it to the final six candidates. 639 00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,040 Your test results were even better than I could've hoped. 640 00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:28,841 Come in. 641 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,691 Eggsy, I need to have a private conversation. 642 00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:36,840 You're dismissed. 643 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,684 Nonsense. Let him observe. 644 00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:40,524 Might learn a thing or two. 645 00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,042 As you wish. Take a look at this. 646 00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,009 For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 647 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,160 Man up! 648 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:48,364 Fucking hell! 649 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,488 That is rank, Harry. 650 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,565 You blew up his head? 651 00:45:52,720 --> 00:45:54,165 It's a bit much, innit? 652 00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:58,006 Actually, the explosion was caused by an implant in his neck. 653 00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,725 Here, under the scar. 654 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,566 Did my hardware pick up the signal that triggered it? 655 00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:04,245 Fortunately, yes. 656 00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,528 Unfortunately, the IP address I traced it to... 657 00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,887 is registered to the Valentine Corporation. 658 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,884 That's not much of a lead. He has millions of employees worldwide. 659 00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,242 That Richmond Valentine is a genius. 660 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,047 Did you not see his announcement today? 661 00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:21,926 No. 662 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,521 We each spend on average $2,000 a year... 663 00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:31,609 on cell phone and internet usage. 664 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,889 It gives me great pleasure to announce... 665 00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,611 those days are over. 666 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:38,807 As of tomorrow... 667 00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:42,806 every man, woman and child can claim a free SIM card... 668 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:47,090 compatible with any cell phone, any computer... 669 00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:51,444 and utilize my communications network for free. 670 00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:52,931 Free calls... 671 00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,610 free internet... 672 00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,285 for everyone. 673 00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:58,611 Forever. 674 00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,125 Valentine's assistant has the same implant scar. 675 00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,291 I think Mr. Valentine and I should have a tête-à-tête. 676 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,280 He's having a gala dinner next week. 677 00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,284 I'll get you an invitation. You need to be careful, though. 678 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,448 Since you've been out, hundreds of VIPs have gone missing. 679 00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,967 No ransom notes, exactly like Professor Arnold. 680 00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:38,041 Then I suggest you make my alias somebody worth kidnapping. 681 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,001 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 682 00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:53,321 What, don't like heights? 683 00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:54,481 Yeah, it's okay. 684 00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:58,327 I've done it before, which is probably why, come to think of it. 685 00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:01,529 Hey, it's gonna be all right. 686 00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,125 You're top of the class. 687 00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:06,360 Listen up. 688 00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,330 Your mission is to land in the target without the radar detecting you. 689 00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:13,166 If I read you on the radar, or you miss the target, you go home. 690 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:14,681 Is that understood? 691 00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,806 Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds. 692 00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:23,571 We gotta go. 693 00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,729 Eggsy, I really don't think I can do this. 694 00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:35,881 Of course you can't. 695 00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:37,800 Head to the back and I'll show you how, yeah? 696 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,882 Eggsy, wait! Hang on! 697 00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:50,405 Roxy, just stop fucking about! 698 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,000 Follow me, yeah? 699 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,923 Come on! 700 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,248 Roxy, it's now or never. 701 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:14,760 Jump! 702 00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:34,731 Good girl, Rox... 703 00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:36,484 I'm glad you made it! 704 00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:50,964 Yeah! 705 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:52,601 Come on! 706 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,128 My, my, you're all very cheerful. 707 00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,561 Did you really think it was gonna be that straightforward? 708 00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,007 Any idiot can read a heads-up display. 709 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,846 A Kingsman agent needs to be able to solve problems under pressure. 710 00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,922 Like what to do when one of your group has no parachute. 711 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,970 - What, no parachute? - Shit! 712 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:14,486 Who? 713 00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:15,482 Fuck! 714 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:16,640 Which one? 715 00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:18,205 What do we do? 716 00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:19,771 I told you. Aim for the target. 717 00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:21,206 Come in under the radar. 718 00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:23,328 And I hope not to be scraping one of you up. 719 00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:26,650 But if I do have to, and you're inside the target... 720 00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:28,844 please know I'll be very impressed. 721 00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,451 - Fuck! - Oh, shit! 722 00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,004 Everybody listen, I've got a plan! 723 00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:40,690 Pair off! Grab the closest person to them. 724 00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:44,526 Rufus, come on! 725 00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:45,720 Fuck! 726 00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:47,520 Rufus! 727 00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,001 Shit! I can't! 728 00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:53,840 Fuck! 729 00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:56,006 Thank God! 730 00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:58,003 Rufus, you wanker! 731 00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:00,651 Shit, we're an odd number now! 732 00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:02,801 Quick, make a circle! 733 00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:04,689 Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it. 734 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,482 We pull our cords one by one! 735 00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:12,880 When we know who's fucked... 736 00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:14,520 the person on their right grabs them. 737 00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,400 Okay, Eggsy. 738 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:18,881 Good plan, Eggsy. 739 00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,202 You have 30 seconds. Come on now, hurry. 740 00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:22,361 Me first! 741 00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:25,722 Fuck! 742 00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:27,211 Yes! 743 00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:31,686 Okay, me next. 744 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:35,205 See you on the ground, boys. 745 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:40,041 Now me. 746 00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:44,920 Fuck! 747 00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,208 Roxy... 748 00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,400 No matter what happens now, I've got you, all right? 749 00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:57,206 Okay, Eggsy. 750 00:51:57,360 --> 00:51:58,521 - Yours first, okay? - Yep. 751 00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:12,720 Shit! 752 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:21,640 Shit! 753 00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:24,760 Shit! 754 00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:27,440 Rox! 755 00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:32,006 Fuck. 756 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,527 Hugo, Digby. 757 00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,490 You don't land in the K, you're not in the K. 758 00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:55,961 Rufus, you opened too soon. 759 00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:57,485 You were all over the radar. 760 00:52:57,640 --> 00:52:59,483 All three of you, pack your bags, go home. 761 00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,807 Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. 762 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:05,770 You set a new record. 763 00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:07,160 Opening at 300 feet... 764 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:08,367 that's pretty ballsy. 765 00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:11,046 Well done for completing another task. Fall out. 766 00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:13,161 Sorry, sir. 767 00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,004 But why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? 768 00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:16,366 Am I the expendable candidate? 769 00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:19,126 No, no, no. You don't talk to me like that. 770 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,840 You have a complaint, you come here and you whisper it in my ear. 771 00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,051 You need to take that chip off your shoulder. 772 00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,520 Mr. DeVere. It's a pleasure to meet you. 773 00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,891 I'm awfully sorry. I seem to have my dates muddled up. 774 00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,930 No, no, no. I cancelled the gala because of you. 775 00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:13,049 Anybody willing to donate that much... 776 00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:15,362 deserves their own dinner. Come in! 777 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,001 Thank you. 778 00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,406 Got to admit, I was really intrigued to meet you. 779 00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,403 There aren't many billionaires I don't know. 780 00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:25,561 I don't doubt it. 781 00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:28,724 And, obviously, I had my people look into your affairs... 782 00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:30,640 and that's some pretty old money you're from. 783 00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:31,760 How'd your folks make it? 784 00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:35,244 Property, mostly. Property and the markets. 785 00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,448 Nothing questionable, if that's your concern. 786 00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,365 Look, I'm just into finding out what caliber person you are. 787 00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:41,680 I'm sure you understand that. 788 00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:42,967 I most certainly do. 789 00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:44,610 - Hope you're hungry. - I'm famished. 790 00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:45,847 Good. 791 00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:46,921 Grab a seat. 792 00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:09,880 I'll have the Big Mac, please. 793 00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:11,126 Great choice. 794 00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:14,682 But nothing beats two cheeseburgers with secret sauce. 795 00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:16,649 Goes great with this '45 Lafite. 796 00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:17,801 A classic pairing. 797 00:55:18,240 --> 00:55:21,244 And may I suggest Twinkies and a 1937 Château d'Yquem for pudding? 798 00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:23,445 I like it. 799 00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:27,840 So, you want to donate to my foundation. 800 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:31,322 You are aware that I wound things down in that area, right? 801 00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,404 Climate change is a threat, which affects us all, Mr. Valentine. 802 00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,729 And you're one of the few powerful men who seems to share my concerns. 803 00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:40,565 No, I shut things down, because I wasn't getting anywhere. 804 00:55:40,720 --> 00:55:43,564 Every bit of research kept pointing to the same thing. 805 00:55:43,720 --> 00:55:45,085 That carbon emissions are a red herring... 806 00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:48,926 and that we're past the point of no return no matter what remedial actions we take? 807 00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,924 You know your shit. 808 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:54,687 I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance of those less well versed in their... 809 00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:56,446 "shit." 810 00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:59,050 As Professor Arnold always said... 811 00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:02,046 "Humankind is the only virus cursed to live... 812 00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,443 "with the horrifying knowledge of its host's fragile mortality." 813 00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,251 You know, not a lot of people knew about him. 814 00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,327 You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere? 815 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,049 Nowadays, they're all a little serious for my taste. 816 00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,200 But the old ones... 817 00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:24,200 Marvelous. 818 00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,641 Give me a far-fetched theatrical plot any day. 819 00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,327 The old Bond movies. Oh, man! 820 00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:34,007 When I was a kid, that was my dream job. 821 00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:36,404 Gentleman spy. 822 00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:40,128 I always felt the old Bond films were only as good as the villain. 823 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:44,610 As a child, I rather fancied a future as a colorful megalomaniac. 824 00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:49,802 What a shame we both had to grow up. 825 00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:55,640 Bon appétit. 826 00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:01,130 Just give me a couple of days to think over your proposal. 827 00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:02,884 I'll have my people get in touch with yours... 828 00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:04,565 and it's all good. 829 00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:08,247 And thank you for such a happy meal. 830 00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:14,965 Well, want me to follow him? 831 00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:16,286 Nah. 832 00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:19,006 I put a nano tracker gel in the wine. 833 00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,204 We'll know his every move for the next 24 hours. 834 00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,931 Finally find out who he works for. 835 00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,448 Valentine didn't let me out of his sight. 836 00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:31,126 All I got was this on the way in. 837 00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:38,323 South Glade Mission Church is a hate group based in Kentucky. 838 00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:40,804 FBI have been monitoring them for years. 839 00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:42,769 But you think Valentine is a supporter? 840 00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:46,208 No evidence yet of a direct connection, but I'll keep looking. 841 00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:48,491 By the way... 842 00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:53,680 our ever-growing list of missing persons now includes Scandinavian royalty. 843 00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:56,811 Royal Crown Princess Tilde. 844 00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:01,724 Just let me out, you psycho! 845 00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,724 I told you, you're free to go any time you want. 846 00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,167 As long as you agree to my conditions. 847 00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,210 I don't agree... 848 00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:12,091 and I am never ever going to agree! 849 00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:13,480 Tough shit. 850 00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:14,921 Bitch. 851 00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:18,844 I want to speak to the British Council! 852 00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:21,839 The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries 853 00:58:21,864 --> 00:58:23,913 has continued to grow in recent weeks... 854 00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:27,931 and world leaders are coming under increasing pressure to provide answers. 855 00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:31,846 We are doing everything in our power to find Princess Tilde. 856 00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,163 You know, governments and security forces worldwide... 857 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:39,046 are working together to find the person behind these abductions. 858 00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:40,920 In other news, people all over the world... 859 00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:45,443 continue to wait in line day and night to get their free SIM cards. 860 00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:48,080 Mrs. P, did you get one? 861 00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,811 Yeah, I've been queuing up all day. 862 00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:55,244 This unprecedented giveaway by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine... 863 00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,244 has already seen over a billion cards distributed. 864 00:58:58,400 --> 00:58:59,640 At ease. 865 00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,201 So you thought we were done for the day, huh? 866 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,206 Well, we're not. 867 00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:09,842 - A party? - Tonight, in London. 868 00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,921 - Who's this? - Your target. 869 00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,048 Your mission is to use your NLP training... 870 00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,640 to win over the individual on the photograph in your envelope. 871 00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,285 And when I say "win over"... 872 00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,250 I do mean in the biblical sense. 873 00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:23,561 Easy. 874 00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,528 Posh girls love a bit of rough. 875 00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:28,330 We'll see about that, yeah? 876 00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:30,409 We certainly will. 877 00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:36,600 Hi! 878 00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:40,048 Sorry, I just had to come over and say, amazing eyes. 879 00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:41,640 Are you wearing color contacts? 880 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:44,007 - No! - You so are. 881 00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:46,561 Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious. 882 00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:48,609 I haven't heard anyone try that since the noughties. 883 00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:49,886 Excuse me? 884 00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:51,040 "Negging." 885 00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:55,051 Saying something negative to a pretty girl in order to undermine her social value. 886 00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:57,282 It's supposed to make you want to win his approval. 887 00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,889 Absurdly basic neuro-linguistic programming technique. 888 01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:03,202 Is it just me, or does this champagne taste a little bit funny? 889 01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,249 - It's an acquired taste, mate. - I think it's just cheap. 890 01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,243 Get one of these instead. They're delicious. 891 01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:10,131 If you're into seduction techniques, this guy is textbook. 892 01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:13,045 See what he just did? It's called an opinion opener. 893 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,690 He got you talking with a neutral question... 894 01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:16,640 got all of us involved in the conversation... 895 01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:18,404 so that you craved individual attention. 896 01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:20,451 No, I'm just saying the champagne tastes rank. 897 01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:22,364 Lady Sophie Montague-Herring. 898 01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:23,851 Phone call for you at reception. 899 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,840 - Be right back. - We'll see you in a bit, yeah? 900 01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:27,245 See you in a bit. 901 01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,243 Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough. 902 01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:30,925 - Are you all right? - No. 903 01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,127 Sorry to eavesdrop... 904 01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:35,841 but there's a much easier way to guarantee getting someone home. 905 01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:37,610 Rohypnol. 906 01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:41,524 Or even something stronger. 907 01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:00,764 Who the fuck are you? 908 01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:02,765 Where am I? 909 01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:06,321 This knife... 910 01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:08,562 can save your life. 911 01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:13,801 Fuck! 912 01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:17,010 My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. 913 01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:19,049 What the fuck is Kingsman? 914 01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:20,850 And who's Harry Hart? 915 01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:22,843 I don't know who the fuck that is! 916 01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:23,808 Shit! 917 01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:27,760 Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer! 918 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:29,400 Fuck! 919 01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:32,331 Just cut the fucking ropes, please! 920 01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:33,527 Hey, Eggsy! 921 01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:35,045 Is Kingsman worth dying for? 922 01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:38,605 Fuck you! 923 01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:54,206 Congratulations. 924 01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:55,600 Bloody well done. 925 01:01:57,880 --> 01:01:59,484 How did the others do? 926 01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:01,449 Roxy passed with flying colors. 927 01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:04,247 Charlie's up next. Want to watch? 928 01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:07,085 Yeah, all right. 929 01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,648 Is Kingsman really worth dying for? 930 01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:13,165 No, it fucking isn't! 931 01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,163 Shit, I'll tell you what you want. Please! 932 01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:16,606 Chester King is Arthur. 933 01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,001 Arthur's head of a spy agency. It's called Kingsman. 934 01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:20,840 - Get me out of here! - Thank you, Charlie. 935 01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:22,211 Much appreciated. 936 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:24,761 Come on! That wasn't the fucking deal! 937 01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,447 Fuck! 938 01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,761 I had such high hopes for you. 939 01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:38,883 You're a bloody disgrace. 940 01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:40,041 Arthur, I'm sorry. 941 01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:42,211 At least untie me. 942 01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:43,891 Untie yourself. 943 01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:47,722 Arthur, please. 944 01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,611 I'm the fucking son of the... Shit! 945 01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,286 Anyone? Hello? 946 01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,011 Galahad, Percival, congratulations. 947 01:02:57,280 --> 01:03:00,090 Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. 948 01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:03,801 As tradition allows, you now have 24 hours to spend with them. 949 01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:07,563 Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. 950 01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:09,321 From now on... 951 01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:11,280 there are no safety nets, understood? 952 01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:16,120 Good. Dismissed. 953 01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:22,088 Charlie, time to go home. 954 01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:23,605 Fuck you. 955 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,287 Fucking dad's gonna hear about this! 956 01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:29,441 "To pee or not to pee?" 957 01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:32,522 That was the headline... 958 01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,285 the day after I defused a dirty bomb in Paris. 959 01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,604 "Germany, 1, England, 5." 960 01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:38,841 Missed that game. 961 01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:42,010 I was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the Pentagon. 962 01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:48,811 My first mission. 963 01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:50,760 Foiled the assassination of Margaret Thatcher. 964 01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:53,640 Not everybody would thank you for that one. 965 01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:56,451 The point is, Eggsy, nobody thanked me for any of them. 966 01:03:57,120 --> 01:04:00,681 Front page news on all these occasions was celebrity nonsense. 967 01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:04,521 Because it's the nature of Kingsman that our achievements remain secret. 968 01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:08,328 A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times. 969 01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,801 When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies. 970 01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:14,169 And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen. 971 01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:15,811 That's me fucked then. 972 01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:18,689 It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb. 973 01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:19,841 Nonsense. 974 01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:22,960 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one's birth. 975 01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:25,323 Being a gentleman is something one learns. 976 01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,923 Yeah, but how? 977 01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:30,080 All right, first lesson. 978 01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:32,040 You should've asked me before you took a seat. 979 01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:34,681 Second lesson... 980 01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,011 how to make a proper martini. 981 01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:40,082 Yes, Harry. 982 01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,729 Goddamn it! This fucking hurts! 983 01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,726 You're the one who asked for a biometric security system. 984 01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:50,006 What's wrong with a simple switch? 985 01:04:50,160 --> 01:04:51,161 A simple switch? 986 01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:55,001 This is an extremely dangerous machine. 987 01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:59,728 It should only be operated by someone as responsible and sane as me. 988 01:04:59,920 --> 01:05:02,207 Bad shit could happen if this falls into the wrong hands. 989 01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:07,084 We done here? Shit! 990 01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:09,891 No. Now this one. 991 01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:11,120 For the test at the church. 992 01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,083 This one just has a short range. 993 01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:14,810 A simple switch will do. 994 01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:23,650 So are you gonna teach me how to talk proper, like in My Fair Lady? 995 01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,245 Don't be absurd. 996 01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:28,086 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one's accent. 997 01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:30,561 It's about being at ease in one's own skin. 998 01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:32,290 As Hemingway said, "There is nothing noble... 999 01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,807 "in being superior to your fellow man. 1000 01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:38,722 "True nobility is being superior to your former self." 1001 01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:45,762 Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit. 1002 01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:49,248 By which I mean, a bespoke suit. Never off-the-peg. 1003 01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:51,801 And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof. 1004 01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:54,770 So let's get you measured, and then, whether you get the job or not... 1005 01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:59,289 you'll have a lasting and useful memento of your time at Kingsman. 1006 01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:03,081 I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman is completing his fitting. 1007 01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:05,447 Fitting Room Two is available. 1008 01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:09,605 One does not use Fitting Room Two when one is popping one's cherry. 1009 01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:13,490 Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait. 1010 01:06:23,840 --> 01:06:25,126 So we going up or down? 1011 01:06:25,280 --> 01:06:26,441 Neither. 1012 01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:28,681 Is this it? 1013 01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:31,963 Of course not. Pull the hook on your left. 1014 01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:40,200 Oh, yes. 1015 01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:42,647 Very, very nice. 1016 01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:48,160 You're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit. 1017 01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:52,484 An oxford is any formal shoe with open lacing. 1018 01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:55,849 This additional decorative piece is called broguing. 1019 01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:57,206 "Oxfords not brogues." 1020 01:06:57,360 --> 01:06:58,964 Words to live by, Eggsy. 1021 01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:01,806 Words to live by. Try a pair. 1022 01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:04,324 Your weapon scores are excellent, by the way. 1023 01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:08,723 These you are familiar with, and this is our standard issue pistol. 1024 01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:10,524 It's quite unique, as you'll see. 1025 01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:14,048 It also fires a shotgun cartridge for use in messy close-range situations. 1026 01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:15,645 - How do they feel? - Yeah, good. 1027 01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:17,171 Now do your very best impersonation... 1028 01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:19,004 of a German aristocrat's formal greeting. 1029 01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:23,760 No, Eggsy. 1030 01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:29,120 That is sick. 1031 01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,128 In the old days, they had a phone in the heel as well. 1032 01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:33,361 How do I get it back in? 1033 01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:37,411 Well, it's coated in one of the fastest acting neurotoxins known to man... 1034 01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:39,050 so very carefully. 1035 01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:44,681 Now, I've had a lot of fun with this. 1036 01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:47,844 One of our finest examples of chemical engineering. 1037 01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:50,520 A poison, harmless when ingested... 1038 01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:52,569 but at a time convenient to you... 1039 01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:56,725 can be remotely activated. Primed. 1040 01:07:58,200 --> 01:07:59,200 Lethal. 1041 01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:02,528 What about these? What do these do? 1042 01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,888 - Electrocute you? - Don't be ridiculous. 1043 01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:06,883 - It's a hand grenade. - Shut up! 1044 01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:09,480 If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring. 1045 01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:11,602 A gentleman traditionally wears the signet on his left hand. 1046 01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:14,730 But a Kingsman wears it on whichever hand happens to be dominant. 1047 01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:16,320 Touch the contact behind the ring... 1048 01:08:16,400 --> 01:08:17,526 it delivers 50,000 volts. 1049 01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:21,886 And what about them? What makes them so special? 1050 01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:23,041 Nothing. 1051 01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:25,925 That technology has caught up with the spy world. 1052 01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:28,729 Put it back, Eggsy. 1053 01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:32,565 Perfect timing. 1054 01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:34,609 The gentleman's just finished. 1055 01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:41,091 Mr. DeVere! 1056 01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:44,244 What a coincidence. 1057 01:08:44,880 --> 01:08:47,770 You are totally the reason I'm here. 1058 01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:49,086 When you left my house... 1059 01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:53,040 I was thirsting for that dope-ass smoking jacket you had on. 1060 01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:54,725 And since I'm going to Royal Ascot... 1061 01:08:54,880 --> 01:08:57,040 and, apparently, you need one of these penguin suits... 1062 01:08:57,480 --> 01:08:58,641 here I am. 1063 01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:00,247 What are you doing here? 1064 01:09:00,480 --> 01:09:01,811 What's up, man? 1065 01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:03,086 Richmond Valentine. 1066 01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:06,444 This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor. 1067 01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:09,444 Another coincidence. So am I. 1068 01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:12,000 Have you had any chance to think further on my proposal? 1069 01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:13,081 Most definitely. 1070 01:09:13,280 --> 01:09:16,284 My people will be getting in touch with you very soon. 1071 01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:17,930 I guarantee it. 1072 01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:19,965 A word of advice. 1073 01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:22,487 Ascot requires top hat. 1074 01:09:23,480 --> 01:09:26,643 I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters. 1075 01:09:27,440 --> 01:09:28,487 Saint James's. 1076 01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:29,920 "Lox" as in smoked fish? 1077 01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,811 As in, "locked up." 1078 01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:38,764 I have trouble understanding you people sometimes. 1079 01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,442 You all talk so funny. 1080 01:09:48,440 --> 01:09:51,523 Gentlemen, would you look after him, please? 1081 01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,326 Now this... 1082 01:10:05,480 --> 01:10:07,369 is a dope-ass top hat. 1083 01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:12,328 Gazelle, let's go ascoting. 1084 01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:15,046 Your hat looks fine, Gazelle. 1085 01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:18,044 Come on! Don't make me late for the queen. 1086 01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:21,485 Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late. 1087 01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:23,165 How far is Ascot? 1088 01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:24,687 How far? 1089 01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:30,400 Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir? 1090 01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:32,205 Sit down. 1091 01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:38,640 Pretty dog. 1092 01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:40,366 What's his name? 1093 01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:41,521 J.B. 1094 01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:43,887 - As in "James Bond"? - No. 1095 01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:45,650 "Jason Bourne"? 1096 01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:47,842 No. "Jack Bauer." 1097 01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:49,207 Oh! 1098 01:10:49,880 --> 01:10:50,881 Bravo. 1099 01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:52,681 It pains me to admit it... 1100 01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,730 but I think that one day, you might be as good a spy... 1101 01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:57,325 as any of them. 1102 01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:06,050 Take it. 1103 01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:14,120 Shoot the dog. 1104 01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:22,206 This weapon is live. 1105 01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:26,400 Shoot the dog. 1106 01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:06,127 Give me the gun. 1107 01:12:17,440 --> 01:12:19,169 At least the girl's got balls. 1108 01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:23,801 Get out. 1109 01:12:24,480 --> 01:12:26,482 I knew you couldn't make it. 1110 01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:31,091 Go home. 1111 01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,444 Merlin, send in Roxy, please. 1112 01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:02,204 Welcome to Kingsman... 1113 01:13:03,160 --> 01:13:04,286 Lancelot. 1114 01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:28,641 Mum! 1115 01:13:29,080 --> 01:13:30,206 Eggsy! 1116 01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:31,686 Oh, God. Where have you been? 1117 01:13:31,880 --> 01:13:33,882 I've been so worried about you. 1118 01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:39,083 Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown! 1119 01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:46,928 - Where is he? - I'm fine. 1120 01:13:47,080 --> 01:13:48,764 Eggsy, please, just don't get involved. 1121 01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:50,604 I should never have left you on your own. 1122 01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,161 This stops right now. 1123 01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:54,441 I'll be right back. 1124 01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:56,204 Eggsy. 1125 01:13:58,560 --> 01:13:59,891 Oi, Dean! 1126 01:14:00,880 --> 01:14:02,723 Mugsy, so you're back. 1127 01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:04,769 What, you gone and nicked a fucking taxi, now? 1128 01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:06,371 Yeah. 1129 01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:08,568 Can I have a word about my mum's black eye? 1130 01:14:09,560 --> 01:14:11,289 You want to have a word with me, you get out of that cab... 1131 01:14:11,440 --> 01:14:13,600 I'll knock you straight back down on your fucking arse. 1132 01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:17,362 Tell your muppets to go inside, then I'll get out. 1133 01:14:19,640 --> 01:14:21,563 Go on, lads. It'll be two hits. 1134 01:14:21,720 --> 01:14:23,768 Me hitting him, him hitting the floor. 1135 01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:26,607 Come on, then, you prick. 1136 01:14:26,760 --> 01:14:28,649 Let's see what you got. Want a bit of me? 1137 01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:29,608 What are you doing? 1138 01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:30,760 No, no, no! 1139 01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:31,608 Get out of the fucking car! 1140 01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:33,649 What are you doing? Where you going, you mug? 1141 01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:35,086 Go on, you got no bollocks! 1142 01:14:35,880 --> 01:14:37,882 Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum! 1143 01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:39,451 Come back when you've grown a pair! 1144 01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:40,600 Mugsy! 1145 01:15:03,360 --> 01:15:04,361 You throw away... 1146 01:15:04,560 --> 01:15:08,531 your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog. 1147 01:15:09,520 --> 01:15:11,841 And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss's car. 1148 01:15:12,080 --> 01:15:14,162 You shot a dog just to get a fucking job. 1149 01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:15,601 Yes, I did. 1150 01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:22,491 And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit! 1151 01:15:24,080 --> 01:15:26,560 You shot your dog and had it stuffed? 1152 01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:27,960 You fucking freak. 1153 01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:29,485 No, I shot my dog... 1154 01:15:29,640 --> 01:15:31,324 and then I brought him home and continued to care for him... 1155 01:15:31,480 --> 01:15:33,926 for the next 11 years until he died of pancreatitis. 1156 01:15:34,640 --> 01:15:37,291 - What? - It was a blank, Eggsy. 1157 01:15:38,440 --> 01:15:40,124 It was a fucking blank. 1158 01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:42,285 Remember Amelia? 1159 01:15:42,440 --> 01:15:43,202 Yeah. 1160 01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:44,486 She didn't drown. 1161 01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:47,411 She works in our tech department in Berlin. She's fine. 1162 01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:48,806 Limits must be tested... 1163 01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:51,611 a Kingsman only condones the risking of a life to save another. 1164 01:15:51,760 --> 01:15:54,730 Like my dad saved your life even though your fuck-up cost his. 1165 01:15:54,880 --> 01:15:56,564 Or have you got him stuffed here and all? 1166 01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:01,683 Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1167 01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:09,164 Harry, listen to this. 1168 01:16:09,320 --> 01:16:11,120 Valentine is at last saying something of note. 1169 01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:13,721 Do you know what I love about pen and paper? 1170 01:16:14,240 --> 01:16:16,720 Nobody can hack into this shit. 1171 01:16:17,160 --> 01:16:20,482 Our worldwide tour was a complete success. 1172 01:16:20,680 --> 01:16:23,126 We have total coverall. 1173 01:16:23,280 --> 01:16:26,090 Like when all your numbers in bingo are crossed out. 1174 01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:27,240 Bingo? 1175 01:16:27,280 --> 01:16:30,682 Bingo, the game. You have played bingo, right? 1176 01:16:31,560 --> 01:16:33,324 Do I look like I play bingo? 1177 01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:36,607 Point is... 1178 01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:41,723 if our tests go well at the church tomorrow, we are good to go. 1179 01:16:41,880 --> 01:16:44,406 South Glade Mission Church. 1180 01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:47,482 - Merlin, get the plane ready. - Will do. 1181 01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:49,400 Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna do whatever... 1182 01:16:49,440 --> 01:16:50,441 You should be. 1183 01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:53,240 You just stay right there. I'll sort this mess out when I get back. 1184 01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:01,129 And I say to you... 1185 01:17:01,280 --> 01:17:02,520 bear witness! 1186 01:17:02,720 --> 01:17:05,291 Watch the news. Watch the news. 1187 01:17:05,440 --> 01:17:06,771 AIDS! 1188 01:17:07,200 --> 01:17:08,042 Floods! 1189 01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:10,328 The blood of the innocent, spilled! 1190 01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:15,686 And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of God. 1191 01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:24,210 Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion! 1192 01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:26,886 And yet, some still doubt... 1193 01:17:27,040 --> 01:17:30,931 this is the work of the antichrist! 1194 01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:36,001 You do not have to be a Jew, a nigger, a whore... 1195 01:17:36,160 --> 01:17:38,925 or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter... 1196 01:17:39,240 --> 01:17:40,685 Charming sermon. 1197 01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:42,530 Can you see Valentine anywhere? 1198 01:17:42,720 --> 01:17:44,131 So, my friends... 1199 01:17:44,280 --> 01:17:47,329 although he is a just God, he is justly a vengeful one... 1200 01:17:47,480 --> 01:17:50,450 and there can be no turning back... 1201 01:17:50,640 --> 01:17:52,244 from the almighty wrath... 1202 01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:53,890 Are you sure we're out of range? 1203 01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:55,720 We're over 1,000 feet away. What's wrong? 1204 01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:57,080 What if the calculations are wrong? 1205 01:17:57,240 --> 01:17:58,844 You just have to trust me. 1206 01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:04,523 ...Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and the devil is burning them... 1207 01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:05,966 for all eternity. 1208 01:18:06,160 --> 01:18:07,321 Would you excuse me? 1209 01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:09,320 Where are you going? 1210 01:18:09,960 --> 01:18:11,769 Hey! What's your problem? 1211 01:18:13,360 --> 01:18:14,771 I'm a Catholic whore... 1212 01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:18,521 currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend... 1213 01:18:18,680 --> 01:18:21,251 who works in a military abortion clinic. 1214 01:18:21,840 --> 01:18:23,171 So, hail Satan... 1215 01:18:23,480 --> 01:18:25,323 and have a lovely afternoon, madam. 1216 01:18:28,720 --> 01:18:30,131 Oh, shit. He's leaving. 1217 01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:31,884 I'm starting the test now. 1218 01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:34,402 Let's hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards. 1219 01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:40,090 I kindly ask you to sit down, my friend! 1220 01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:41,321 Just leave this church! 1221 01:18:41,480 --> 01:18:43,847 You just leave this church like the infidel you are! 1222 01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:49,609 Satan cannot save you now! You will eat your babies. 1223 01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:53,287 You will drown in the blood of the Lord! 1224 01:18:53,440 --> 01:18:54,885 He will not save you! 1225 01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:02,121 Holy fuck! 1226 01:19:03,880 --> 01:19:06,042 Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here. 1227 01:19:48,240 --> 01:19:50,242 Jeez! Fuck. 1228 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:53,048 Galahad, can you hear me? 1229 01:19:53,440 --> 01:19:54,440 Harry! 1230 01:19:54,840 --> 01:19:57,207 Harry, what the heck is going on? 1231 01:19:58,360 --> 01:19:59,920 Could you turn the volume down, please? 1232 01:20:01,160 --> 01:20:03,128 I didn't expect it to be that effective. 1233 01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:04,760 What kind of response are we talking? 1234 01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:06,321 100 percent. 1235 01:20:07,440 --> 01:20:10,444 So, everyone's been affected, whether they have a SIM card or not. 1236 01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:13,040 And we get the added benefit of wiping out the Kingsman. 1237 01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:15,483 Not yet. 1238 01:21:10,440 --> 01:21:11,771 You need to see this. 1239 01:23:08,800 --> 01:23:10,643 What did you do to me? 1240 01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:12,604 I had no control. 1241 01:23:13,960 --> 01:23:15,405 I killed all those people. 1242 01:23:17,360 --> 01:23:18,566 I wanted to. 1243 01:23:18,760 --> 01:23:19,841 Clever, isn't it? 1244 01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:22,731 In simple terms, it's a neurological wave... 1245 01:23:22,880 --> 01:23:24,520 that triggers the centers of aggression... 1246 01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:26,284 and switches off inhibitors. 1247 01:23:26,840 --> 01:23:29,764 Transmitted through your nasty, free SIM cards, I assume. 1248 01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:34,889 Do you know what this is like? 1249 01:23:35,080 --> 01:23:38,368 It's like those old movies we both love. 1250 01:23:38,520 --> 01:23:41,603 Now, I'm going to tell you my whole plan... 1251 01:23:41,760 --> 01:23:45,048 and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you... 1252 01:23:45,200 --> 01:23:47,806 and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape. 1253 01:23:48,880 --> 01:23:50,370 Sounds good to me. 1254 01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:53,248 Well, this ain't that kind of movie. 1255 01:23:56,880 --> 01:23:59,360 No! 1256 01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:09,204 Is he dead? 1257 01:24:09,360 --> 01:24:11,840 That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head. 1258 01:24:12,040 --> 01:24:13,166 It feels good, right? 1259 01:24:13,640 --> 01:24:15,760 No, no, it does not feel good. It feels fucking awful. 1260 01:24:15,880 --> 01:24:18,167 What? You just killed how many people in that church? 1261 01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:19,360 This is one guy. 1262 01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:21,482 No, no, they killed each other. 1263 01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:26,283 Okay, send out the countdown clock. 1264 01:24:26,440 --> 01:24:29,125 This party starts tomorrow. 1265 01:25:03,760 --> 01:25:05,171 Arthur? 1266 01:25:07,280 --> 01:25:08,770 Are you there? 1267 01:25:09,080 --> 01:25:11,242 Sadly, I am. 1268 01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:15,082 Assemble the Kingsmen. 1269 01:25:18,840 --> 01:25:22,925 Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1270 01:25:43,440 --> 01:25:45,807 I see a young man with potential... 1271 01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:49,285 who wants to do something good with his life. 1272 01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:08,281 Arthur, Harry's dead. 1273 01:26:08,960 --> 01:26:11,361 Galahad is dead. 1274 01:26:11,560 --> 01:26:13,961 Hence, we have just drunk a toast to him. 1275 01:26:14,640 --> 01:26:17,166 Well, then you know what that psycho's doing. 1276 01:26:17,320 --> 01:26:19,971 How many people around the world have got those SIM cards? 1277 01:26:20,120 --> 01:26:22,521 Valentine can send his signal to any of them, all of them. 1278 01:26:22,680 --> 01:26:24,728 If they all go homicidal at the same time then... 1279 01:26:24,880 --> 01:26:27,201 Indeed, and thanks to Galahad's recordings... 1280 01:26:27,360 --> 01:26:29,966 we have Valentine's confession. 1281 01:26:30,160 --> 01:26:33,528 The intelligence has been passed on to the relevant authorities. 1282 01:26:33,680 --> 01:26:35,045 Our work is complete... 1283 01:26:35,200 --> 01:26:39,649 and a most distinguished legacy for our fallen friend, it is, too. 1284 01:26:40,480 --> 01:26:41,641 And that's it? 1285 01:26:42,840 --> 01:26:44,001 Come sit down, boy. 1286 01:26:47,360 --> 01:26:52,366 This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy. 1287 01:26:53,400 --> 01:26:56,688 And we only drink it when we lose a Kingsman. 1288 01:26:57,320 --> 01:27:00,369 Galahad was very fond of you. 1289 01:27:02,520 --> 01:27:04,921 And on this occasion... 1290 01:27:05,080 --> 01:27:08,448 I think it's acceptable for us to bend the rules a little. 1291 01:27:10,840 --> 01:27:12,001 Are these all Kingsmen? 1292 01:27:12,200 --> 01:27:14,521 Yes, they're founder members. 1293 01:27:15,880 --> 01:27:17,962 I want you to join me in a toast. 1294 01:27:20,200 --> 01:27:22,202 To Galahad. 1295 01:27:23,200 --> 01:27:24,690 To Galahad. 1296 01:27:29,240 --> 01:27:31,891 Harry says you don't like to break rules, Arthur. 1297 01:27:32,360 --> 01:27:33,441 Why now? 1298 01:27:33,640 --> 01:27:34,880 You're very good, Eggsy. 1299 01:27:35,040 --> 01:27:38,647 Perhaps I will make you my proposal for Galahad's position. 1300 01:27:39,560 --> 01:27:42,245 Provided, of course, that we can see eye to eye... 1301 01:27:42,440 --> 01:27:44,568 on certain political matters. 1302 01:27:47,400 --> 01:27:48,925 Can you guess... 1303 01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:51,644 what this is? 1304 01:27:51,800 --> 01:27:53,484 I don't have to. Harry showed me. 1305 01:27:53,640 --> 01:27:55,165 You click it. I die. 1306 01:27:55,320 --> 01:27:57,129 I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit. 1307 01:27:59,080 --> 01:28:00,080 Bravo. 1308 01:28:00,400 --> 01:28:03,563 Valentine won you over, somehow. 1309 01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:06,564 Once he explained, I understood. 1310 01:28:06,760 --> 01:28:08,000 When you get a virus... 1311 01:28:08,280 --> 01:28:09,486 you get a fever. 1312 01:28:09,640 --> 01:28:13,690 That's the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. 1313 01:28:13,840 --> 01:28:16,081 Planet Earth works the same way. 1314 01:28:16,240 --> 01:28:18,163 Global warming is the fever. 1315 01:28:18,320 --> 01:28:21,130 Mankind is the virus. 1316 01:28:21,280 --> 01:28:23,681 We're making our planet sick. 1317 01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:26,446 A cull is our only hope. 1318 01:28:26,600 --> 01:28:28,841 If we don't reduce our population ourselves... 1319 01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:31,606 there is only one of two ways this can go. 1320 01:28:31,760 --> 01:28:36,004 The host kills the virus, or the virus kills the host. 1321 01:28:36,320 --> 01:28:37,320 Either way... 1322 01:28:38,240 --> 01:28:39,810 The result is the same. 1323 01:28:40,000 --> 01:28:41,604 The virus dies. 1324 01:28:42,680 --> 01:28:46,127 So Valentine's gonna take care of the population problem himself. 1325 01:28:46,280 --> 01:28:48,806 Well, if we don't do something, nature will. 1326 01:28:48,960 --> 01:28:53,284 Sometimes a culling is the only way to ensure that this species survives... 1327 01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:56,128 and history will see Valentine... 1328 01:28:56,280 --> 01:28:58,567 as the man who saved humanity from extinction. 1329 01:28:59,120 --> 01:29:02,488 And he gets to pick and choose who gets culled, does he? 1330 01:29:02,640 --> 01:29:03,846 All his rich mates, they get to live... 1331 01:29:04,000 --> 01:29:06,526 and anyone he thinks is worth saving, he's keeping them safe... 1332 01:29:06,680 --> 01:29:08,648 whether they agree with him or not. 1333 01:29:08,800 --> 01:29:10,962 And you, Eggsy. 1334 01:29:11,520 --> 01:29:13,488 In Harry's honor... 1335 01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:18,328 I am inviting you to be part of a new world. 1336 01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:22,687 It's time to make your decision. 1337 01:29:29,560 --> 01:29:31,528 I'd rather be with Harry. 1338 01:29:32,160 --> 01:29:33,160 Thanks. 1339 01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:35,205 So be it. 1340 01:29:51,520 --> 01:29:54,763 The problem with us common types... 1341 01:29:54,920 --> 01:29:56,524 is that we're light-fingered. 1342 01:29:57,720 --> 01:29:59,449 Kingsman's taught me a lot... 1343 01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:00,840 but sleight of hand... 1344 01:30:01,520 --> 01:30:03,284 Yes, they're founder members. 1345 01:30:05,920 --> 01:30:07,206 I had that down already. 1346 01:30:09,520 --> 01:30:13,127 You dirty little fucking... 1347 01:30:13,280 --> 01:30:14,725 prick. 1348 01:30:49,000 --> 01:30:50,729 It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down. 1349 01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:53,445 It's verified. 1350 01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:58,411 Arthur's phone is receiving update texts about getting to safety. 1351 01:30:58,560 --> 01:31:00,324 - We don't have a lot of time. - What are you going to do? 1352 01:31:00,480 --> 01:31:02,642 The question is, what are we going to do? 1353 01:31:02,800 --> 01:31:05,531 God knows who's in Valentine's pocket and who's not. 1354 01:31:06,160 --> 01:31:07,685 We have no choice. 1355 01:31:08,760 --> 01:31:10,842 We are gonna have to deal with this ourselves. 1356 01:31:14,280 --> 01:31:15,611 Follow me. 1357 01:31:34,480 --> 01:31:35,811 What the fuck is this? 1358 01:31:35,960 --> 01:31:37,803 I have no idea. 1359 01:31:38,800 --> 01:31:39,961 What you're playing with... 1360 01:31:40,120 --> 01:31:42,851 is a prototype personal transatmospheric vehicle. 1361 01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:45,287 It was developed as part of Reagan's Star Wars project. 1362 01:31:45,440 --> 01:31:48,364 It's pretty basic, but it should still work. 1363 01:31:48,640 --> 01:31:51,007 We're gonna take out one of Valentine's satellites. 1364 01:31:51,400 --> 01:31:53,846 We're gonna break the chain, stop the signal. 1365 01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:55,920 It'll take him a couple of hours to reroute it... 1366 01:31:56,360 --> 01:32:00,729 which buys us enough time for you to get me into Valentine's mainframe... 1367 01:32:00,880 --> 01:32:02,689 so I can shut it down. 1368 01:32:02,840 --> 01:32:05,161 Lancelot, you're going to be using it. 1369 01:32:05,320 --> 01:32:06,685 Get into your halo suit. 1370 01:32:19,320 --> 01:32:21,440 Swedish Prime Minister, requesting permission to land. 1371 01:32:27,080 --> 01:32:28,844 Permission granted. 1372 01:32:32,440 --> 01:32:34,920 - Please. - Thank you. 1373 01:32:35,080 --> 01:32:37,162 - How many more are we expecting? - Not many. 1374 01:32:37,360 --> 01:32:38,691 Most have their own bunkers. 1375 01:32:38,840 --> 01:32:42,208 I figure we're just getting the really nervous ones. 1376 01:32:42,440 --> 01:32:44,442 Welcome, Prime Minister. 1377 01:32:45,720 --> 01:32:48,690 It seems the implant can emit some kind of counter signal... 1378 01:32:48,840 --> 01:32:52,526 to ensure the wearer remains unaffected by the waves from the SIM cards. 1379 01:32:52,680 --> 01:32:54,728 The waves that turn everyone into a psycho killer. 1380 01:32:54,920 --> 01:32:57,446 Quite. But what he probably didn't tell anyone... 1381 01:32:57,600 --> 01:33:01,889 is it can also super heat their soft tissue at his command. 1382 01:33:02,040 --> 01:33:06,204 Valentine selected his chosen few to get the countdown warning... 1383 01:33:06,360 --> 01:33:09,204 but he had to be sure they didn't blab to the wrong people beforehand. 1384 01:33:09,360 --> 01:33:11,089 How does this help us right now? 1385 01:33:12,040 --> 01:33:13,041 It doesn't. 1386 01:33:13,440 --> 01:33:14,805 Roxy, here we go! 1387 01:33:27,720 --> 01:33:31,327 The higher you go, the more the balloons expand. 1388 01:33:31,480 --> 01:33:33,323 When you reach the edge of the atmosphere... 1389 01:33:33,480 --> 01:33:35,608 they'll explode. 1390 01:33:35,760 --> 01:33:37,762 You'll need to deploy your missile just before that, okay? 1391 01:33:37,960 --> 01:33:39,291 Edge of the atmosphere. 1392 01:33:39,440 --> 01:33:42,762 And once you've deployed, you'll need to release for descent, fast. 1393 01:33:43,760 --> 01:33:45,000 Good luck. 1394 01:33:47,320 --> 01:33:49,322 - You can do this, okay? - Yeah. 1395 01:33:49,480 --> 01:33:52,290 Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend. 1396 01:34:14,760 --> 01:34:16,762 You're getting in on Arthur's invitation. 1397 01:34:16,960 --> 01:34:18,166 You're gonna need to blend in. 1398 01:34:18,320 --> 01:34:19,446 I'm supposed to be Arthur? 1399 01:34:19,600 --> 01:34:22,604 His invitation is in his phone. You give them this. 1400 01:34:22,800 --> 01:34:25,280 - Give his real name, Chester King. - What about you? 1401 01:34:25,440 --> 01:34:26,885 I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here. 1402 01:34:27,960 --> 01:34:29,041 Is that gonna fit me? 1403 01:34:29,200 --> 01:34:31,726 A bespoke suit always fits. 1404 01:34:31,880 --> 01:34:33,689 Just be grateful Harry had it made for you. 1405 01:34:34,640 --> 01:34:35,641 Get dressed. 1406 01:34:37,080 --> 01:34:38,360 What the fuck's wrong with them? 1407 01:34:38,480 --> 01:34:41,211 I don't know. Could have something to do with the mass genocide. 1408 01:34:41,400 --> 01:34:43,323 Give me the mic. 1409 01:34:45,120 --> 01:34:46,690 Hey-oh! 1410 01:34:46,840 --> 01:34:49,764 Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello! 1411 01:34:49,920 --> 01:34:52,161 What the fuck is wrong with you people? 1412 01:34:52,320 --> 01:34:55,164 I just wanna remind you that today... 1413 01:34:55,320 --> 01:34:57,926 is a day of celebration. 1414 01:34:58,720 --> 01:35:02,247 We must put aside all thoughts of death... 1415 01:35:02,400 --> 01:35:04,289 and focus on birth. 1416 01:35:05,360 --> 01:35:07,806 The birth of a new age. 1417 01:35:09,000 --> 01:35:13,961 We mustn't mourn those who give their lives today. 1418 01:35:14,120 --> 01:35:16,088 We should honor their sacrifice... 1419 01:35:16,240 --> 01:35:18,242 Has she got my number to call me back? I got a new phone. 1420 01:35:18,440 --> 01:35:21,603 ...and their roles in saving the human race. 1421 01:35:24,000 --> 01:35:27,686 We must put aside doubt and guilt. 1422 01:35:29,080 --> 01:35:32,641 You are the chosen people. 1423 01:35:34,280 --> 01:35:37,727 When folks tell their kids the story of Noah's Ark... 1424 01:35:37,880 --> 01:35:38,880 is Noah the bad guy? 1425 01:35:39,040 --> 01:35:39,689 No! 1426 01:35:39,840 --> 01:35:41,888 Is God the bad guy? 1427 01:35:42,040 --> 01:35:42,689 No! 1428 01:35:42,880 --> 01:35:45,281 How about the animals marching two by two? 1429 01:35:45,440 --> 01:35:46,248 No! 1430 01:35:46,400 --> 01:35:47,400 Of course not! 1431 01:35:48,320 --> 01:35:49,685 Yeah, that's it! 1432 01:35:49,840 --> 01:35:53,640 Let's turn those frowns upside down. 1433 01:35:53,800 --> 01:35:55,643 Eat, drink... 1434 01:35:55,800 --> 01:35:57,484 and Party! 1435 01:36:00,520 --> 01:36:03,046 And I will see you all in the new age. 1436 01:36:28,280 --> 01:36:30,408 Rox, it's me. 1437 01:36:30,920 --> 01:36:32,251 How's the view? 1438 01:36:35,080 --> 01:36:37,162 - Hideous - Mine's pretty sweet. 1439 01:36:37,320 --> 01:36:40,244 - They made you one of these suits yet? - No, not yet. 1440 01:36:40,440 --> 01:36:42,761 You've got something to look forward to then. 1441 01:36:42,920 --> 01:36:45,526 We're coming up on Valentine's base. Gotta go. 1442 01:36:46,960 --> 01:36:48,291 Good luck. 1443 01:36:55,920 --> 01:36:56,921 Looking good, Eggsy. 1444 01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:02,331 Feeling good, Merlin. 1445 01:37:07,600 --> 01:37:09,204 This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo. .. 1446 01:37:09,360 --> 01:37:11,806 Requesting permission to land. 1447 01:37:14,800 --> 01:37:17,326 Permission is granted. 1448 01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:22,809 Fuck me. 1449 01:37:50,000 --> 01:37:52,446 Eggsy, we're on. 1450 01:38:07,160 --> 01:38:08,161 Chester King. 1451 01:38:09,160 --> 01:38:11,128 Mr. King, welcome. 1452 01:38:11,520 --> 01:38:15,320 I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's strict no-weapons policy... 1453 01:38:15,480 --> 01:38:16,811 - but if you don't object... - Of course. 1454 01:38:16,960 --> 01:38:18,200 Thank you. 1455 01:38:18,680 --> 01:38:20,808 Do you have any luggage? 1456 01:38:21,800 --> 01:38:25,247 Congratulations, Mycroft, you just graduated from my pilot to my valet. 1457 01:38:25,840 --> 01:38:28,320 - You cheeky... Understood? 1458 01:38:28,480 --> 01:38:29,720 Good. 1459 01:38:31,040 --> 01:38:32,644 Thank you. 1460 01:38:57,920 --> 01:39:02,562 Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online. The clock is ticking. 1461 01:39:03,720 --> 01:39:06,451 And remember, try to blend in. 1462 01:39:06,600 --> 01:39:08,568 Would sir care for a drink? 1463 01:39:09,200 --> 01:39:10,406 Martini. 1464 01:39:10,560 --> 01:39:12,722 Gin, not vodka, obviously. 1465 01:39:12,920 --> 01:39:16,606 Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. 1466 01:39:17,240 --> 01:39:18,446 Thank you. 1467 01:39:21,240 --> 01:39:23,049 Merlin, are you clocking this? 1468 01:39:23,240 --> 01:39:25,288 Yes, I am. Stay focused. 1469 01:39:25,920 --> 01:39:28,082 Lancelot, you're doing great. Not much further to go. 1470 01:39:28,800 --> 01:39:29,926 Yes, Merlin. 1471 01:39:31,440 --> 01:39:33,727 Eggsy, get me online now. 1472 01:39:34,640 --> 01:39:35,641 Yep, I'm on it. 1473 01:39:36,800 --> 01:39:38,928 Lancelot, you're approaching your altitude limit. 1474 01:39:39,280 --> 01:39:41,044 Those balloons won't last much longer. 1475 01:39:41,920 --> 01:39:43,888 Prepare to engage missile. 1476 01:39:59,280 --> 01:40:00,486 Society's dead. 1477 01:40:00,960 --> 01:40:02,803 Long live society. 1478 01:40:03,800 --> 01:40:05,131 Amen to that. 1479 01:40:06,600 --> 01:40:08,648 - I'm Morten Lindström. - Chester King. 1480 01:40:08,960 --> 01:40:10,291 How'd you get online? I couldn't. 1481 01:40:10,680 --> 01:40:13,650 It's a closed network, you see. Pre-authorized connections only. 1482 01:40:17,840 --> 01:40:19,126 I've got a fix on the satellite. 1483 01:40:19,320 --> 01:40:20,480 Do you have the correct time? 1484 01:40:20,600 --> 01:40:21,806 I think I'm still in my last time zone. 1485 01:40:21,960 --> 01:40:23,371 Yeah, yeah. Let's see now. 1486 01:40:37,440 --> 01:40:38,441 Eggsy, I'm in. 1487 01:40:38,600 --> 01:40:39,726 Get your arse back to the plane, now. 1488 01:40:39,880 --> 01:40:41,450 - On my way. - Lancelot, good luck! 1489 01:40:41,600 --> 01:40:43,807 Firing in 3... 2... 1490 01:40:51,160 --> 01:40:52,161 Nice and slow. 1491 01:40:52,320 --> 01:40:53,526 Fuck are you doing here? 1492 01:40:53,680 --> 01:40:56,001 Well, my family were invited, obviously. 1493 01:40:56,160 --> 01:40:57,810 Now, get the fuck up! Slowly. 1494 01:40:59,000 --> 01:41:00,889 Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire! 1495 01:41:01,040 --> 01:41:02,644 That other balloon is gonna blow! 1496 01:41:02,800 --> 01:41:05,849 Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it. Give me a second! 1497 01:41:07,720 --> 01:41:10,644 Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy! 1498 01:41:11,320 --> 01:41:12,367 V-Glass, zoom. 1499 01:41:12,520 --> 01:41:14,568 Oh, fuck! It's that young valet. 1500 01:41:18,680 --> 01:41:20,091 Son of a bitch. 1501 01:41:20,640 --> 01:41:21,766 Got it! 1502 01:41:31,880 --> 01:41:33,166 Oh, shit. Sound the alarm! 1503 01:41:35,720 --> 01:41:36,800 I'm not taking any chances. 1504 01:41:36,920 --> 01:41:38,560 Okay, you send out the two-minute warning. 1505 01:41:38,600 --> 01:41:41,046 I'm starting the override. All right, let's do this. 1506 01:41:42,400 --> 01:41:44,004 Countdown initiated. 1507 01:41:53,720 --> 01:41:55,404 - You see him? - Right here. 1508 01:42:04,200 --> 01:42:05,440 Eggsy, take a left. 1509 01:42:06,240 --> 01:42:07,241 Two guards, up ahead. 1510 01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:20,886 Lancelot! Release now! 1511 01:42:31,920 --> 01:42:33,729 Eggsy, straight ahead, then right. 1512 01:42:34,120 --> 01:42:35,121 There's two more. 1513 01:42:38,800 --> 01:42:40,928 All right, everybody on your feet! 1514 01:42:41,080 --> 01:42:42,286 Countdown to V-day! 1515 01:42:42,440 --> 01:42:43,965 Welcome in the new age! 1516 01:42:52,320 --> 01:42:53,401 Flat spin. 1517 01:43:08,600 --> 01:43:11,444 Eggsy, next left, down the narrow tunnel! 1518 01:43:20,200 --> 01:43:21,201 Here we go! 1519 01:43:21,360 --> 01:43:22,360 10... 1520 01:43:23,000 --> 01:43:24,331 9... 1521 01:43:24,840 --> 01:43:25,840 8... 1522 01:43:26,480 --> 01:43:27,480 7... 1523 01:43:28,400 --> 01:43:29,400 6... 1524 01:43:30,080 --> 01:43:31,161 5... 1525 01:43:31,760 --> 01:43:32,760 4... 1526 01:43:34,000 --> 01:43:34,762 3... 1527 01:43:34,920 --> 01:43:35,920 2... 1528 01:43:36,680 --> 01:43:37,680 1! 1529 01:43:43,600 --> 01:43:45,443 Nice! Well done, both of you. 1530 01:43:46,160 --> 01:43:47,161 It's not working! 1531 01:43:47,360 --> 01:43:49,408 It's supposed to be working! What the fuck? 1532 01:43:56,200 --> 01:43:56,849 Yes! 1533 01:43:57,040 --> 01:43:58,371 Well done, Rox. Good girl. 1534 01:44:01,720 --> 01:44:04,246 We've lost one of our satellites. 1535 01:44:13,800 --> 01:44:17,566 Oh, no, no. There's no way I can hack past that. 1536 01:44:23,120 --> 01:44:24,121 What's going on? 1537 01:44:25,320 --> 01:44:26,401 Is there a problem? 1538 01:44:27,560 --> 01:44:28,920 Come on. There's no need for guns. 1539 01:44:29,040 --> 01:44:30,565 I'm just a pilot. 1540 01:44:33,560 --> 01:44:34,607 Fuck. Merlin! 1541 01:44:37,400 --> 01:44:39,004 Get in here! 1542 01:44:43,240 --> 01:44:44,401 Come on! 1543 01:44:47,960 --> 01:44:49,291 Let's get the fuck out of here! 1544 01:44:49,440 --> 01:44:50,441 We can't. 1545 01:44:50,600 --> 01:44:52,090 I can't get into Valentine's machine. 1546 01:44:52,240 --> 01:44:53,844 He's got biometric security. 1547 01:44:55,320 --> 01:44:58,642 You're gonna have to get in there and make sure his hand never touches that desk. 1548 01:44:58,800 --> 01:45:00,325 Are you taking the fucking piss? 1549 01:45:00,520 --> 01:45:01,760 I'm afraid not. 1550 01:45:04,920 --> 01:45:05,921 Let's have that then. 1551 01:45:07,600 --> 01:45:08,931 This is mine. 1552 01:45:09,440 --> 01:45:11,363 I'll show you yours. 1553 01:45:28,680 --> 01:45:29,680 Good choice. 1554 01:45:32,320 --> 01:45:33,920 How long to re-link the satellite chain? 1555 01:45:34,040 --> 01:45:35,280 It'll take an hour, maybe two. 1556 01:45:35,440 --> 01:45:37,568 Bullshit! Just bring these two closer together. 1557 01:45:37,720 --> 01:45:39,051 But that's not yours. 1558 01:45:44,720 --> 01:45:46,484 V-Glass, call E-man. 1559 01:45:47,280 --> 01:45:48,645 E, it's V. 1560 01:45:48,800 --> 01:45:50,802 Listen, man, I got a little hiccup on this end. 1561 01:45:50,960 --> 01:45:51,961 I need to piggyback. 1562 01:45:52,120 --> 01:45:56,170 One of my satellites just went down, but it's right next to one of yours. 1563 01:45:56,680 --> 01:45:58,170 You read my mind. 1564 01:45:58,800 --> 01:46:00,404 How long before you make that happen? 1565 01:46:03,480 --> 01:46:04,527 Go. 1566 01:46:08,680 --> 01:46:10,648 All right, we should be coming back online. 1567 01:46:13,560 --> 01:46:14,560 10 percent. 1568 01:46:17,680 --> 01:46:18,408 Shit! 1569 01:46:18,600 --> 01:46:20,364 Eggsy, Valentine's using someone else's satellite. 1570 01:46:20,560 --> 01:46:22,528 He's going to reconnect the chain. 1571 01:46:22,680 --> 01:46:24,200 It's going to take him no time at all. 1572 01:46:25,080 --> 01:46:26,161 It's at 20 percent. 1573 01:46:44,120 --> 01:46:47,363 Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you. Get a move on! 1574 01:47:20,880 --> 01:47:22,291 Is that Kingsman kid dead yet? 1575 01:47:22,480 --> 01:47:24,130 Not yet, but he will be soon. 1576 01:47:24,280 --> 01:47:26,009 Good. 1577 01:47:38,920 --> 01:47:39,921 Merlin, I'm fucked. 1578 01:47:53,120 --> 01:47:54,121 As am I. 1579 01:47:54,320 --> 01:47:56,641 They're coming at me from both sides. I'm out of options. 1580 01:47:57,080 --> 01:47:59,924 Rox, I need a favor. 1581 01:48:00,080 --> 01:48:01,161 Call my mum. 1582 01:48:01,320 --> 01:48:02,920 Tell her to lock herself away from Dean. 1583 01:48:03,640 --> 01:48:04,640 And the baby... 1584 01:48:06,160 --> 01:48:07,161 and tell her I love her. 1585 01:48:16,120 --> 01:48:17,360 For fuck's sake. 1586 01:48:21,720 --> 01:48:24,883 Merlin, remember those implants you said were of no use to us? 1587 01:48:26,680 --> 01:48:27,960 Any chance you can turn them on? 1588 01:48:31,560 --> 01:48:32,322 All right. 1589 01:48:32,520 --> 01:48:34,966 My turn to play, Valentine. 1590 01:48:43,480 --> 01:48:44,641 Oh, no! 1591 01:48:44,800 --> 01:48:47,246 What the fuck is he doing? I can't stop this. 1592 01:49:00,640 --> 01:49:01,721 Yes, please. 1593 01:49:05,360 --> 01:49:06,566 No! 1594 01:50:03,320 --> 01:50:05,402 Oh, my God! 1595 01:50:05,560 --> 01:50:07,562 That is fucking spectacular! 1596 01:50:07,720 --> 01:50:10,485 Merlin, you're a fucking genius! 1597 01:50:10,640 --> 01:50:13,803 What the fuck is happening out there? 1598 01:50:18,120 --> 01:50:19,406 Aren't you that princess who went missing? 1599 01:50:19,560 --> 01:50:20,607 Can you get me out? 1600 01:50:21,240 --> 01:50:23,163 If I do, will you give me a kiss? 1601 01:50:23,320 --> 01:50:24,840 I've always wanted to kiss a princess. 1602 01:50:24,920 --> 01:50:27,480 If you get me out right now, I'll give you more than just a kiss. 1603 01:50:29,160 --> 01:50:30,400 You motherfucker. 1604 01:50:30,600 --> 01:50:32,409 Did you really think I was stupid enough... 1605 01:50:32,600 --> 01:50:34,762 to implant one of those things in my own head? 1606 01:50:35,200 --> 01:50:36,770 What are you, fucking crazy? 1607 01:50:37,720 --> 01:50:40,007 All those innocent people killed and for what? 1608 01:50:40,880 --> 01:50:43,724 You didn't stop shit! 1609 01:50:45,080 --> 01:50:47,082 Fine, I've locked the door. What do you want me to do now? 1610 01:50:47,280 --> 01:50:50,124 As I said, put your daughter in the bathroom and throw away the key. 1611 01:50:50,880 --> 01:50:53,281 It's still happening! 1612 01:50:53,440 --> 01:50:54,601 You're fucking insane! 1613 01:50:54,760 --> 01:50:55,886 Just do it. 1614 01:51:23,200 --> 01:51:24,565 Eggsy, the signal's started! 1615 01:51:24,720 --> 01:51:27,883 Get Valentine's hand off that bloody desk now! 1616 01:51:28,040 --> 01:51:29,040 Sorry, love. 1617 01:51:29,400 --> 01:51:30,481 Got to save the world. 1618 01:51:31,760 --> 01:51:33,683 I'll be right back. 1619 01:51:35,120 --> 01:51:36,120 Good luck! 1620 01:51:42,880 --> 01:51:43,880 London. 1621 01:52:12,320 --> 01:52:13,320 Rio. 1622 01:52:29,320 --> 01:52:30,320 Get down! 1623 01:52:32,320 --> 01:52:33,320 You did it! 1624 01:52:42,760 --> 01:52:44,683 The glass is not gonna hold long. 1625 01:52:46,360 --> 01:52:47,964 You stay here. 1626 01:52:50,200 --> 01:52:51,361 Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there? 1627 01:52:51,680 --> 01:52:53,603 - Keep shooting, I'll find a route. - Understood. 1628 01:53:10,160 --> 01:53:11,241 Holy fuck! 1629 01:53:29,760 --> 01:53:31,046 We're back up. 1630 01:53:31,920 --> 01:53:33,251 We're back up! 1631 01:53:40,240 --> 01:53:41,969 This is great! 1632 01:53:50,080 --> 01:53:50,922 Eggsy! 1633 01:53:51,080 --> 01:53:52,605 Fucking get on with it! 1634 01:53:52,800 --> 01:53:54,006 Kick his ass, Gazy! 1635 01:54:00,640 --> 01:54:03,450 Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai! 1636 01:54:11,800 --> 01:54:14,280 Kill that motherfucker! He killed all our friends! 1637 01:54:31,640 --> 01:54:33,642 Eggsy, the world is going to shit! 1638 01:54:43,040 --> 01:54:45,122 - Is he dead yet? - Not yet! 1639 01:54:45,280 --> 01:54:47,408 Stop playing with your food! 1640 01:54:47,560 --> 01:54:48,561 Kill him! 1641 01:56:06,680 --> 01:56:08,045 Gazelle! 1642 01:56:09,880 --> 01:56:11,041 Gazelle! 1643 01:56:20,680 --> 01:56:22,409 Come on! Come on! 1644 01:56:25,400 --> 01:56:26,400 Kill him! 1645 01:56:43,720 --> 01:56:44,720 Hey! 1646 01:57:09,440 --> 01:57:10,965 Well done, son! 1647 01:57:12,280 --> 01:57:13,280 Yes! 1648 01:57:13,400 --> 01:57:14,561 Yes, Eggsy! 1649 01:57:14,720 --> 01:57:16,290 Well done, Eggsy! 1650 01:57:16,800 --> 01:57:17,961 And you, Lancelot. 1651 01:57:20,720 --> 01:57:23,291 I'm so sorry. Mummy would never hurt you. 1652 01:57:23,920 --> 01:57:26,969 Mummy would never hurt you. I'm so sorry. 1653 01:57:29,440 --> 01:57:30,487 Are you okay? 1654 01:57:34,240 --> 01:57:36,129 Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy. 1655 01:57:37,480 --> 01:57:38,561 He was right. 1656 01:57:54,000 --> 01:57:55,286 What's up, man? 1657 01:57:55,640 --> 01:57:59,008 Is this the part where you say some really bad pun? 1658 01:58:00,480 --> 01:58:02,482 Well, it's like you said to Harry. 1659 01:58:05,680 --> 01:58:08,001 This ain't that kind of movie, bruv. 1660 01:58:09,480 --> 01:58:10,925 Perfect. 1661 01:58:31,800 --> 01:58:33,006 Eggsy, where are you going? 1662 01:58:33,160 --> 01:58:35,400 There's no need for champagne. We got loads in the plane. 1663 01:58:42,520 --> 01:58:43,601 Did you save the world? 1664 01:58:44,200 --> 01:58:45,690 Yes, I did. 1665 01:58:47,000 --> 01:58:49,810 So, you gonna come in? 1666 01:58:50,560 --> 01:58:52,050 Yes, I am. 1667 01:58:57,520 --> 01:58:59,409 Merlin, the cell's locked. How do I get in? 1668 01:59:01,680 --> 01:59:03,205 26-25. 1669 01:59:07,560 --> 01:59:10,166 Merlin, you're the guvnor. 1670 01:59:12,360 --> 01:59:14,727 You owe me, Eggsy. 1671 01:59:20,360 --> 01:59:21,407 Eggsy? 1672 01:59:27,400 --> 01:59:29,084 Oh, my word. 1673 02:00:16,280 --> 02:00:19,124 Michelle, turn that shit off. It's doing my nut in. 1674 02:00:20,120 --> 02:00:21,645 I rather like that song. 1675 02:00:22,160 --> 02:00:23,764 Leave it on, eh, Mum? 1676 02:00:27,520 --> 02:00:29,443 Mugsy's back. 1677 02:00:29,560 --> 02:00:31,960 You've finally come to have that word with me, have you, son? 1678 02:00:32,360 --> 02:00:33,720 Or are you gonna run away again... 1679 02:00:33,800 --> 02:00:35,404 and pretend you're going to court, dressed like that? 1680 02:00:35,840 --> 02:00:37,251 Oh, you mean this? 1681 02:00:38,760 --> 02:00:40,091 No. 1682 02:00:40,680 --> 02:00:44,002 I know this bloke who's just taken over a tailor shop on Savile Row. 1683 02:00:45,080 --> 02:00:46,650 He's given me a job, Mum. 1684 02:00:47,360 --> 02:00:48,646 It comes with a lot of perks. 1685 02:00:50,040 --> 02:00:51,371 Including a house. 1686 02:00:52,520 --> 02:00:54,363 Come and live with me there, Mum. 1687 02:00:54,960 --> 02:00:56,041 Come on. 1688 02:00:56,200 --> 02:00:57,200 Sit down, you. 1689 02:00:58,320 --> 02:01:00,560 Only place she'll be visiting is you in fucking hospital. 1690 02:01:00,680 --> 02:01:02,489 - Do you hear? - Just leave him alone, Dean! 1691 02:01:02,640 --> 02:01:04,881 Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe. 1692 02:01:06,360 --> 02:01:07,646 All right. 1693 02:01:07,800 --> 02:01:09,370 That's it, do as Mummy says. 1694 02:01:09,520 --> 02:01:12,364 Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours, and knock up a nice chicken costume. 1695 02:01:12,520 --> 02:01:13,885 It'll suit you, you mug. 1696 02:01:16,160 --> 02:01:18,925 As a good friend once said... 1697 02:01:20,240 --> 02:01:21,366 "Manners... 1698 02:01:23,280 --> 02:01:24,280 "maketh... 1699 02:01:26,840 --> 02:01:27,841 "man." 1700 02:01:28,680 --> 02:01:31,047 - Dean? - Shut the fuck up. 1701 02:01:31,200 --> 02:01:33,646 Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners up your fucking... 1702 02:01:39,600 --> 02:01:40,600 So... 1703 02:01:40,840 --> 02:01:44,845 are we gonna stand around here all day, or are we gonna fight? 1704 02:01:44,869 --> 02:01:51,469 Edit: M.R. Sumon @ Subscene.com