1
00:01:40,790 --> 00:01:44,314
This is Zero One Alpha. We have secured Falcon. 2

2
00:01:44,315 --> 00:01:47,596
I say again, we have secured Falcon. 3

3
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:49,880
By the time I count to ten... 4

4
00:01:49,881 --> 00:01:52,564
...you will have told me exactly what I need to know. 5

5
00:01:52,565 --> 00:01:54,087
If not... 6

6
00:01:54,088 --> 00:01:57,811
...the number ten will be the last thing you will ever hear. 7

7
00:01:57,812 --> 00:01:58,932
One 8

8
00:01:58,933 --> 00:02:00,834
Two..., Three 9

9
00:02:01,056 --> 00:02:02,297
Four 10

10
00:02:02,298 --> 00:02:03,339
Five 11

11
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:04,460
Six 12

12
00:02:04,461 --> 00:02:05,621
Seven 13

13
00:02:05,622 --> 00:02:08,183
Grenade! Sir, get back! 15

14
00:02:22,324 --> 00:02:23,805
Shit. 16

15
00:02:24,247 --> 00:02:26,328
Fucking missed it. 17

16
00:02:26,329 --> 00:02:29,070
How did I fucking miss it? 18

17
00:02:30,054 --> 00:02:34,415
Merlin, I apologise for putting you in this position. 19

18
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,941
You trained him well. 20

19
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,683
James... 21

20
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,627
training is over. 22

21
00:02:44,072 --> 00:02:46,452
Welcome to Kingsman. 23

22
00:02:46,595 --> 00:02:48,036
Lancelot. 24

23
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,457
Sir. 25

24
00:02:52,363 --> 00:02:55,704
I'll deal with this mess personally. 26

25
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:04,938
I very much regret that your husband's bravery can't be publicly celebrated. 27

26
00:03:04,939 --> 00:03:06,220
I hope you understand. 28

27
00:03:06,221 --> 00:03:07,902
How can I understand? 29

28
00:03:07,903 --> 00:03:10,704
You won't tell me anything. 30

29
00:03:10,787 --> 00:03:13,430
I didn't even know he wasn't with his squad. 31

30
00:03:13,431 --> 00:03:16,313
I'm so sorry, I can't say more. 32

31
00:03:16,314 --> 00:03:18,276
But I would like to present you with this Medal of Valour... 33

32
00:03:18,277 --> 00:03:22,698
and if you look closely on the back, there's a number. 34

33
00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:25,685
And as a more concrete gesture of our gratitude... 35

34
00:03:25,686 --> 00:03:28,367
we'd like to offer you... 36

35
00:03:28,970 --> 00:03:30,332
Let's call it a favour. 37

36
00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:31,973
The nature of it is your choice. 38

37
00:03:31,974 --> 00:03:33,816
Just tell the operator... 39

38
00:03:33,817 --> 00:03:37,938
oxfords not brogues, and then I'll know it's you. 40

39
00:03:38,663 --> 00:03:41,224
I don't want your help! 41

40
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,948
I want my husband back! 42

41
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,402
What's your name, young man? 43

42
00:03:53,403 --> 00:03:54,483
Eggsy. 44

43
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,444
Hello, Eggsy. 45

44
00:03:56,847 --> 00:03:58,927
Can I see that? 46

45
00:04:05,057 --> 00:04:07,978
You take care of this, Eggsy. 47

46
00:04:08,021 --> 00:04:09,801
All right? 48

47
00:04:13,429 --> 00:04:16,469
And take care of your mum, too. 49

48
00:04:55,843 --> 00:04:59,687
So sorry, Professor Arnold. Just a tiny bit more. 50

49
00:04:59,688 --> 00:05:02,371
For God's sakes, just rip it off. 51

50
00:05:02,372 --> 00:05:06,095
I'm under very strict instructions not to hurt you. 52

51
00:05:06,096 --> 00:05:08,499
Look, you've made a mistake. 53

52
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:11,423
I'm a university lecturer. I've got no money. 54

53
00:05:11,424 --> 00:05:13,064
This isn't about money. 55

54
00:05:13,065 --> 00:05:15,267
Our boss just wants to talk to you. 56

55
00:05:15,268 --> 00:05:17,270
Am I meant to find that reassuring? 57

56
00:05:17,271 --> 00:05:20,492
He'll be here soon. He'll explain. 58

57
00:05:20,556 --> 00:05:22,877
Do you like whiskey? 59

58
00:05:22,878 --> 00:05:25,559
Red, get the '62 Dalmore. 60

59
00:05:26,924 --> 00:05:30,287
Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing. 61

60
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,308
You will shit. 62

61
00:05:51,636 --> 00:05:56,417
I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far? 63

62
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:21,571
Professor Arnold, I'm here to take you home. 64

63
00:06:32,529 --> 00:06:34,490
1962 Dalmore. 65

64
00:06:34,772 --> 00:06:37,374
It'd be a sin to spill any. 66

65
00:06:37,375 --> 00:06:39,515
Don't you think? 67

66
00:07:19,710 --> 00:07:22,511
Can you hold these? Please? 68

67
00:07:35,971 --> 00:07:37,752
Thank you. 69

68
00:07:43,622 --> 00:07:46,002
Everything is clean. 70

69
00:07:51,311 --> 00:07:53,632
My kind of welcome. 71

70
00:08:01,484 --> 00:08:03,767
No stomach for violence. 72

71
00:08:03,768 --> 00:08:05,849
I mean, literally, I see one drop of blood... 73

72
00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:07,972
that is me done. 74

73
00:08:07,973 --> 00:08:09,293
I'm like... 75

74
00:08:09,294 --> 00:08:10,776
projectile. 76

75
00:08:10,777 --> 00:08:13,138
Listen, I'm so sorry... 77

76
00:08:13,139 --> 00:08:18,521
you had to witness all this unpleasantness due to our uninvited guest. 78

77
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:22,991
But I promise you, by the time I've found out who he works for... 79

78
00:08:22,992 --> 00:08:26,453
you and I will be the best of friends. 80

79
00:08:33,927 --> 00:08:36,307
To the shop, please. 81

80
00:08:59,319 --> 00:09:02,480
Arthur's in the dining room, sir. 82

81
00:09:11,015 --> 00:09:12,335
Arthur. 83

82
00:09:12,336 --> 00:09:13,778
Galahad. 84

83
00:09:13,779 --> 00:09:19,520
The others were beginning to wonder if we were going to have a double toast. 85

84
00:09:21,108 --> 00:09:25,272
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to say it's been 17 years... 86

85
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,516
since we last had occasion to use this decanter. 87

86
00:09:28,517 --> 00:09:32,998
Lancelot was an outstanding agent, and a true Kingsman. 88

87
00:09:33,123 --> 00:09:35,804
He will be sorely missed. 89

88
00:09:35,927 --> 00:09:37,828
To Lancelot. 90

89
00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:39,830
To Lancelot. 91

90
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:48,943
I intend to start the selection process for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow. 92

91
00:09:48,944 --> 00:09:51,506
I want each of you to propose a candidate... 93

92
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:54,070
and have them report to UK HQ... 94

93
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:56,751
no later than 9 p.m. GMT. 95

94
00:09:56,835 --> 00:09:58,615
Thank you. 96

95
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:01,799
Merlin. 97

96
00:10:02,081 --> 00:10:03,742
Come in. 98

97
00:10:04,164 --> 00:10:06,927
Lancelot was investigating a group of mercenaries... 99

98
00:10:06,928 --> 00:10:09,810
who were experimenting with biological weaponry. 100

99
00:10:09,811 --> 00:10:12,672
Glasses, gentlemen, please. 101

100
00:10:13,496 --> 00:10:15,516
Uganda, 2012. 102

101
00:10:16,019 --> 00:10:17,660
Synthetic cathinones. 103

102
00:10:17,661 --> 00:10:21,265
They put it in the water supply of a guerrilla army base. 104

103
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:24,847
Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities. 105

104
00:10:25,872 --> 00:10:27,673
Chechnya, 2013. 106

105
00:10:27,674 --> 00:10:29,475
Insurgents turned on one another. 107

106
00:10:29,476 --> 00:10:33,400
Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries, but no trace of any chemicals of any kind. 108

107
00:10:33,401 --> 00:10:35,483
So what happened to Lancelot? 109

108
00:10:35,484 --> 00:10:38,727
He tracked them to this property in Argentina. 110

109
00:10:38,728 --> 00:10:40,170
While he had them under surveillance... 111

110
00:10:40,171 --> 00:10:42,853
he became aware they'd effected a kidnapping. 112

111
00:10:42,854 --> 00:10:47,156
So he executed a solo rescue mission, which failed. 113

112
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:50,781
This is his last transmission. 114

113
00:10:51,265 --> 00:10:53,948
- Who is he? - Some climate change doomsayer. 115

114
00:10:53,949 --> 00:10:55,629
Expounds something called Gaia theory... 116

115
00:10:55,630 --> 00:10:57,552
about the world healing itself, or some such. 117

116
00:10:57,553 --> 00:11:01,734
But what's curious, is he's not actually missing. 118

117
00:11:01,879 --> 00:11:04,401
This is Professor Arnold... 119

118
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:07,525
at Imperial College this morning. 120

119
00:11:07,526 --> 00:11:09,487
It's all yours. 121

120
00:11:09,488 --> 00:11:11,931
And don't forget your membership proposal. 122

121
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:15,175
Try picking a more suitable candidate this time. 123

122
00:11:15,176 --> 00:11:17,218
17 years and still... 124

123
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:21,063
evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. 125

124
00:11:21,064 --> 00:11:24,267
Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that young man? 126

125
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:27,031
He was as much Kingsman material as any of them. 127

126
00:11:27,032 --> 00:11:28,432
More so. 128

127
00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:32,074
But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he? 129

128
00:11:32,198 --> 00:11:36,679
Let's face it, Galahad, your little experiment failed. 130

129
00:11:37,485 --> 00:11:40,208
With respect, Arthur, you're a snob. 131

130
00:11:40,209 --> 00:11:42,229
With respect? 132

131
00:11:42,491 --> 00:11:44,813
The world is changing. 133

132
00:11:44,814 --> 00:11:49,295
There's a reason why aristocrats developed weak chins. 134

133
00:12:07,604 --> 00:12:09,204
Eggsy? 135

134
00:12:10,888 --> 00:12:13,148
Eggsy, come here. 136

135
00:12:15,854 --> 00:12:17,736
- Got any Rizla, babe? - No. 137

136
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,938
Why don't you do your mum a favour, go down to the shop and get some? 138

137
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:21,421
- Get them yourself. - Oi. 139

138
00:12:21,422 --> 00:12:24,265
What have I said to you about speaking to Dean like that? 140

139
00:12:24,266 --> 00:12:27,869
Three's a crowd, innit? Why don't Dean's poodle go? 141

140
00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:29,511
I'll tell you what. 142

141
00:12:29,512 --> 00:12:31,434
Why don't you take this, go and get some Rizlas... 143

142
00:12:31,435 --> 00:12:34,358
get yourself some sweets? And while you're gone... 144

143
00:12:34,359 --> 00:12:38,780
we'll show your mother how three can be good company. 145

144
00:12:39,965 --> 00:12:41,986
Thanks, babe. 146

145
00:12:48,697 --> 00:12:50,658
There we go. 147

146
00:12:51,381 --> 00:12:53,522
Is that better? 148

147
00:13:07,362 --> 00:13:09,923
If Dean treats your mum so bad, why doesn't she leave him? 149

148
00:13:09,924 --> 00:13:12,087
Low self-esteem. That's her problem. 150

149
00:13:12,088 --> 00:13:14,009
Fuck off. Why would she have low self-esteem? 151

150
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,172
Eggsy's mum is well fit. 152

151
00:13:16,173 --> 00:13:19,256
- No offence, bruv. - It's all right. 153

152
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,739
One of these days, I'm gonna smash his face in. 154

153
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:23,341
Are you mental, cuz? 155

154
00:13:23,342 --> 00:13:28,508
He'd just get that lot to do you, and then pretend he knew nothing... 156

155
00:13:28,509 --> 00:13:29,949
...about it. 157

156
00:13:29,950 --> 00:13:32,393
You think you can chat shit about us and we won't do nothing... 158

157
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,716
just because our guvnor's banging Eggsy's mum? 159

158
00:13:34,717 --> 00:13:36,718
Pretty much, yeah. 160

159
00:13:36,719 --> 00:13:39,041
Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man. 161

160
00:13:39,042 --> 00:13:40,123
It's not worth it. 162

161
00:13:40,124 --> 00:13:43,046
You boys have outstayed your welcome. 163

162
00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:44,648
Leave. 164

163
00:13:45,811 --> 00:13:47,352
What? 165

164
00:13:47,574 --> 00:13:50,435
I'm sorry about that, bruv. 166

165
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,581
Yeah. 167

166
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,062
Mug- 168

167
00:13:56,745 --> 00:13:59,988
They weren't fucking worth it, boys. 169

168
00:13:59,989 --> 00:14:03,270
It's freezing. Why are we walking? 170

169
00:14:03,434 --> 00:14:05,436
You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv? 171

170
00:14:05,437 --> 00:14:08,640
Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car. 172

171
00:14:08,641 --> 00:14:10,181
Shit! 173

172
00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:17,931
Hold on, boys. 174

173
00:14:19,855 --> 00:14:21,737
Hey, that's my fucking car! 175

174
00:14:21,738 --> 00:14:23,939
Hey! Hey! Eggsy! 176

175
00:14:24,142 --> 00:14:26,383
I swear, you want to fucking stop it! 177

176
00:14:26,384 --> 00:14:29,725
You're a fucking dead man! Stop it! 178

177
00:14:31,831 --> 00:14:34,632
I'm gonna fucking have ya! 179

178
00:14:37,999 --> 00:14:39,680
Floor it, Eggsy! 180

179
00:14:39,681 --> 00:14:41,403
Floor it! 181

180
00:14:41,404 --> 00:14:43,064
Wanker! 182

181
00:14:44,488 --> 00:14:46,169
Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me. 183

182
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:48,332
Eggsy just stole my fucking car. 184

183
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:51,336
I've come out the pub, he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face... 185

184
00:14:51,337 --> 00:14:53,057
and he's drove off. 186

185
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,341
No, I can't have it! He's disrespecting me. 187

186
00:14:55,342 --> 00:14:57,744
And that means, he's disrespecting you. 188

187
00:14:57,745 --> 00:15:00,246
Hold up! What the...? 189

188
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,262
Dickhead. 190

189
00:15:44,366 --> 00:15:46,447
Foxes are vermin, cuz. 191

190
00:15:46,448 --> 00:15:48,049
Should've driven it over. 192

191
00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:50,171
Should've done a lot of things. 193

192
00:15:50,172 --> 00:15:52,575
I'll sort this. Get out of the car. 194

193
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:55,917
I said, get out of the fucking car! 195

194
00:16:03,149 --> 00:16:07,515
Eggsy, there is no such thing as honour amongst thieves. 196

195
00:16:07,516 --> 00:16:11,880
Now, you can start giving me some names of the boys you were with... 197

196
00:16:11,881 --> 00:16:14,022
or you go down. 198

197
00:16:14,124 --> 00:16:16,264
It's up to you. 199

198
00:16:16,647 --> 00:16:20,529
I want to exercise my right to a phone call. 200

199
00:16:21,053 --> 00:16:24,214
Well, I hope it's to your mum... 201

200
00:16:24,618 --> 00:16:29,399
to tell her you're gonna be 18 months late for your dinner. 202

201
00:16:59,142 --> 00:17:02,305
Customer Complaints, how may I help you? 203

202
00:17:02,306 --> 00:17:04,028
My name's Eggsy Unwin. 204

203
00:17:04,029 --> 00:17:07,730
Sorry, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek. 205

204
00:17:08,715 --> 00:17:10,115
I'm in Holborn police station... 206

205
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:11,958
and my mum said to call this number if ever I needed help. 207

206
00:17:11,959 --> 00:17:14,642
I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number. 208

207
00:17:14,643 --> 00:17:16,543
Wait! Wait! 209

208
00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:20,007
Oxfords not brogues. 210

209
00:17:21,732 --> 00:17:23,252
Your complaint has been duly noted... 211

210
00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:27,975
and we hope that we have not lost you as a loyal customer. 212

211
00:17:37,753 --> 00:17:39,293
Yeah. 213

212
00:17:40,437 --> 00:17:42,217
You what? 214

213
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:44,441
I... 215

214
00:17:44,442 --> 00:17:45,982
Yeah. 216

215
00:17:46,323 --> 00:17:49,124
Yes, I totally understand. 217

216
00:18:08,392 --> 00:18:09,992
Eggsy. 218

217
00:18:10,596 --> 00:18:12,597
Would you like a lift home? 219

218
00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:13,839
Who are you? 220

219
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,360
The man who got you released. 221

220
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:17,003
That ain't an answer. 222

221
00:18:17,004 --> 00:18:20,206
A little gratitude would be nice. 223

222
00:18:20,207 --> 00:18:24,389
My name is Harry Hart, and I gave you that medal. 224

223
00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:28,055
Your father saved my life. 225

224
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:33,223
So before you was a tailor, was you in the army? 226

225
00:18:33,224 --> 00:18:34,746
Like an officer. 227

226
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,387
Not quite. 228

227
00:18:36,388 --> 00:18:38,350
So where was you posted, Iraq or something? 229

228
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:41,092
Sorry, Eggsy. Classified. 230

229
00:18:41,716 --> 00:18:44,278
But my dad saved your life, yeah? 231

230
00:18:44,279 --> 00:18:48,220
The day your father died, I missed something. 232

231
00:18:48,925 --> 00:18:50,205
And if it weren't for his courage... 233

232
00:18:50,206 --> 00:18:54,211
my mistake would have cost the lives of every man present. 234

233
00:18:54,212 --> 00:18:56,232
So I owe him. 235

234
00:18:56,815 --> 00:18:59,736
Your father was a brave man. 236

235
00:18:59,979 --> 00:19:01,880
A good man. 237

236
00:19:01,942 --> 00:19:03,182
And having read your files... 238

237
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,746
I think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made. 239

238
00:19:05,747 --> 00:19:07,108
You can't talk to me like that. 240

239
00:19:07,109 --> 00:19:08,149
Huge I.Q. 241

240
00:19:08,150 --> 00:19:10,953
Great performance at primary school. 242

241
00:19:10,954 --> 00:19:12,434
And it all went tits up. 243

242
00:19:12,435 --> 00:19:15,318
Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job. 244

243
00:19:15,319 --> 00:19:17,161
You think there's a lot of jobs going around here, do you? 245

244
00:19:17,162 --> 00:19:18,843
Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. 246

245
00:19:18,844 --> 00:19:21,567
First prize, regional Under-10s gymnastics... 247

246
00:19:21,568 --> 00:19:22,968
two years in a row. 248

247
00:19:22,969 --> 00:19:25,331
Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material. 249

248
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,174
Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad... 250

249
00:19:27,175 --> 00:19:28,816
you pick up new hobbies pretty quick. 251

250
00:19:28,817 --> 00:19:32,260
Of course. Always someone else's fault. 252

251
00:19:32,261 --> 00:19:34,103
Who's to blame for you quitting the Marines? 253

252
00:19:34,104 --> 00:19:36,666
You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up. 254

253
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:38,829
Because my mum went mental. 255

254
00:19:38,830 --> 00:19:41,793
Banging on about losing me as well as my dad. 256

255
00:19:41,794 --> 00:19:44,396
Didn't want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you. 257

256
00:19:44,397 --> 00:19:46,959
Judging people like me from your ivory towers... 258

257
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,643
with no thought about why we do what we do. 259

258
00:19:49,644 --> 00:19:52,687
We ain't got much choice. You get me? 260

259
00:19:52,688 --> 00:19:55,250
And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses... 261

260
00:19:55,251 --> 00:19:58,254
we'd do just as well as you. If not, better. 262

261
00:19:58,255 --> 00:20:02,496
What the fuck you doing here? You taking the piss? 263

262
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,222
Some more examples of young men... 264

263
00:20:04,223 --> 00:20:06,104
who simply need a silver suppository? 265

264
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,787
No, they're exceptions. Come on. 266

265
00:20:07,788 --> 00:20:09,388
Nonsense. We haven't finished our drinks. 267

266
00:20:09,389 --> 00:20:10,671
After you nicked his car... 268

267
00:20:10,672 --> 00:20:12,112
Dean says you're fair game. 269

268
00:20:12,113 --> 00:20:13,795
He don't give a shit what your mum says. 270

269
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,936
Listen, boys... 271

270
00:20:16,518 --> 00:20:18,641
I've had a rather emotional day... 272

271
00:20:18,642 --> 00:20:23,326
so whatever your beef with Eggsy is, and I'm sure it's well-founded... 273

272
00:20:23,327 --> 00:20:24,969
I'd appreciate it enormously... 274

273
00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:27,092
if you could just leave us in peace... 275

274
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:30,974
until I finish this lovely pint of Guinness. 276

275
00:20:32,820 --> 00:20:35,663
You should get out of the way, Granddad, or you'll get hurt and all. 277

276
00:20:35,664 --> 00:20:38,765
He ain't joking. You should go. 278

277
00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:45,715
Excuse me. 279

278
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:52,800
If you're looking for another rent boy, they're on the corner of Smith street. 280

279
00:20:55,569 --> 00:20:57,410
Manners... 281

280
00:20:58,053 --> 00:20:59,833
maketh... 282

281
00:21:02,098 --> 00:21:03,578
man. 283

282
00:21:11,110 --> 00:21:14,031
Do you know what that means? 284

283
00:21:14,755 --> 00:21:17,856
Then let me teach you a lesson. 285

284
00:21:25,769 --> 00:21:31,091
Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight? 286

285
00:22:13,670 --> 00:22:17,011
You fucking dirty, fucking dirty... 287

286
00:22:58,009 --> 00:22:59,569
Sorry about that. 288

287
00:22:59,570 --> 00:23:02,493
Needed to let off a little steam. 289

288
00:23:02,494 --> 00:23:06,135
I heard yesterday a friend of mine died. 290

289
00:23:06,179 --> 00:23:09,460
He knew your father too, actually. 291

290
00:23:10,745 --> 00:23:13,027
Now, I do apologise, Eggsy. 292

291
00:23:13,028 --> 00:23:15,190
I shouldn't have done this in front of you. 293

292
00:23:15,191 --> 00:23:17,393
No, please! I won't say nothing, I swear! 294

293
00:23:17,394 --> 00:23:19,035
If there's one thing I can do, it's keep my mouth shut. 295

294
00:23:19,036 --> 00:23:20,557
- You won't tell a soul? - Ask the feds. 296

295
00:23:20,558 --> 00:23:21,718
I've never grassed anyone up. 297

296
00:23:21,719 --> 00:23:25,000
- Is that a promise? - On my life! 298

297
00:23:28,248 --> 00:23:30,249
Much appreciated, Eggsy. 299

298
00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:32,172
You're right about the snobs. 300

299
00:23:32,173 --> 00:23:35,336
But there, too, there are exceptions. 301

300
00:23:35,337 --> 00:23:38,318
Best of luck with everything. 302

301
00:23:51,478 --> 00:23:55,882
In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine movie premiered in Hollywood last night. 303

302
00:23:55,883 --> 00:23:58,846
The story of the internet billionaire 's rise to power... 304

303
00:23:58,847 --> 00:24:01,810
is expected to be this award season's hot ticket. 305

304
00:24:01,811 --> 00:24:04,975
One notable absence from the red carpet was Iggy Azalea... 306

305
00:24:04,976 --> 00:24:08,659
still missing three days after she failed to appear at her Oakland concert. 307

306
00:24:08,660 --> 00:24:10,381
No ransom has been demanded. 308

307
00:24:10,382 --> 00:24:13,545
Eggsy, just go, please, because he's gonna... 309

308
00:24:13,546 --> 00:24:15,188
No, please, don't hurt him! 310

309
00:24:15,189 --> 00:24:17,071
Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya! 311

310
00:24:17,072 --> 00:24:18,432
Shut the fuck up! 312

311
00:24:18,433 --> 00:24:20,715
Who was with you in that fucking pub? 313

312
00:24:20,716 --> 00:24:23,038
I want to know the name of the geezer you was with. 314

313
00:24:23,039 --> 00:24:25,041
- I wasn't with no one! - Who was it? 315

314
00:24:25,042 --> 00:24:26,602
- I don't know what you're on about. - Who was it? 316

315
00:24:26,603 --> 00:24:27,924
I don't know who you're fucking on about! 317

316
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:29,206
Fucking tell me his name! 318

317
00:24:29,207 --> 00:24:32,908
I don't know who you're fucking on about! 319

318
00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:36,935
You listen to me! 320

319
00:24:36,936 --> 00:24:39,059
I want to know who you was with in that pub. Do you understand? 321

320
00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:41,102
I want to know his fucking name! 322

321
00:24:41,103 --> 00:24:44,226
Because, I swear, I'll rip your head off. 323

322
00:24:44,227 --> 00:24:47,470
- Tell me! - don't know what you're fucking on about! 324

323
00:24:47,471 --> 00:24:48,671
Just tell him, Eggsy! 325

324
00:24:48,672 --> 00:24:50,634
Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle! 326

325
00:24:50,635 --> 00:24:52,076
I could kill you right now... 327

326
00:24:52,077 --> 00:24:54,759
and no one in the whole world will notice! 328

327
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,601
But I would. 329

328
00:24:56,602 --> 00:24:58,604
I have enough evidence on your activities... 330

329
00:24:58,605 --> 00:25:00,767
to have you locked up for the rest of your life... 331

330
00:25:00,768 --> 00:25:03,210
- Mr. Dean Anthony Baker. - What the fuck? 332

331
00:25:03,211 --> 00:25:04,972
So I suggest you leave the boy alone... 333

332
00:25:04,973 --> 00:25:09,538
or I shall be forced to deliver it to the appropriate authorities. 334

333
00:25:09,539 --> 00:25:12,262
Eggsy, meet me at the tailor I told you about. 335

334
00:25:12,263 --> 00:25:15,304
What the fuck's going on here? 336

335
00:25:16,708 --> 00:25:18,070
Eggsy, you fucking maggot! 337

336
00:25:18,071 --> 00:25:19,431
Hey, we got a racer! 338

337
00:25:19,432 --> 00:25:21,573
Come here. Hey! 339

338
00:25:21,635 --> 00:25:22,915
Eggsy, you fucking... 340

339
00:25:22,916 --> 00:25:25,057
Come here, son! 341

340
00:25:36,654 --> 00:25:37,895
You wanker! 342

341
00:25:37,896 --> 00:25:40,276
I'll have you, son! 343

342
00:26:05,011 --> 00:26:07,854
I've never met a tailor before. 344

343
00:26:07,855 --> 00:26:10,596
But I know you ain't one. 345

344
00:26:13,142 --> 00:26:15,163
Come with me. 346

345
00:26:23,515 --> 00:26:25,416
Come on in. 347

346
00:26:30,525 --> 00:26:31,805
What do you see? 348

347
00:26:31,806 --> 00:26:36,167
Someone who wants to know what the fuck is going on. 349

348
00:26:36,732 --> 00:26:39,953
I see a young man with potential. 350

349
00:26:40,417 --> 00:26:43,158
A young man who is loyal. 351

350
00:26:43,341 --> 00:26:45,223
Who can do as he's asked. 352

351
00:26:45,224 --> 00:26:49,405
And who wants to do something good with his life. 353

352
00:26:49,629 --> 00:26:52,352
Did you see the film Trading Places? 354

353
00:26:52,353 --> 00:26:53,774
No. 355

354
00:26:54,115 --> 00:26:56,375
How about Nikita? 356

355
00:26:56,718 --> 00:26:58,739
Pretty Woman? 357

356
00:26:58,961 --> 00:27:00,202
All right. 358

357
00:27:00,203 --> 00:27:03,406
My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path... 359

358
00:27:03,407 --> 00:27:05,489
but you needn't stay on it. 360

359
00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:10,151
If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform. 361

360
00:27:10,897 --> 00:27:13,397
Like in My Fair Lady. 362

361
00:27:13,781 --> 00:27:16,102
Well, you're full of surprises. 363

362
00:27:16,103 --> 00:27:18,724
Yes, like My Fair Lady. 364

363
00:27:19,868 --> 00:27:23,833
Only, in this case, I'm offering you the opportunity to become a Kingsman. 365

364
00:27:23,834 --> 00:27:25,614
A tailor? 366

365
00:27:25,636 --> 00:27:27,897
A Kingsman agent. 367

366
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,000
Like a spy? 368

367
00:27:30,001 --> 00:27:31,782
Of sorts. 369

368
00:27:33,125 --> 00:27:34,647
Interested? 370

369
00:27:34,648 --> 00:27:38,049
You think I've got anything to lose? 371

370
00:27:43,980 --> 00:27:45,501
Since 1849... 372

371
00:27:45,502 --> 00:27:49,826
Kingsman tailors have clothed the world's most powerful individuals. 373

372
00:27:49,827 --> 00:27:55,269
By 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War One. 374

373
00:27:55,355 --> 00:27:58,838
That meant a lot of money going uninherited. 375

374
00:27:58,839 --> 00:28:03,043
And a lot of powerful men with a desire to preserve peace and protect life. 376

375
00:28:03,044 --> 00:28:06,127
Our founders realised that they could channel that wealth and influence... 377

376
00:28:06,128 --> 00:28:07,930
for the greater good. 378

377
00:28:07,931 --> 00:28:11,032
And so began our other venture. 379

378
00:28:12,056 --> 00:28:14,539
An independent, international intelligence agency... 380

379
00:28:14,540 --> 00:28:18,481
operating at the highest level of discretion. 381

380
00:28:18,705 --> 00:28:20,346
Above the politics and bureaucracy... 382

381
00:28:20,347 --> 00:28:25,272
that undermine the integrity of government-run spy organisations. 383

382
00:28:25,273 --> 00:28:28,477
The suit is a modern gentleman's armour. 384

383
00:28:28,478 --> 00:28:32,359
And the Kingsman agents are the new knights. 385

384
00:28:32,643 --> 00:28:34,405
How deep does this fucking thing go? 386

385
00:28:34,406 --> 00:28:36,366
Deep enough. 387

386
00:29:20,184 --> 00:29:22,445
Shit, we're late. 388

387
00:29:46,579 --> 00:29:50,340
Your father had the same look on his face. 389

388
00:29:50,785 --> 00:29:52,565
As did I. 390

389
00:29:53,829 --> 00:29:55,549
Come on. 391

390
00:29:57,754 --> 00:29:58,954
Galahad. 392

391
00:29:58,955 --> 00:30:00,115
My code name. 393

392
00:30:00,116 --> 00:30:01,958
Late again, sir. 394

393
00:30:01,959 --> 00:30:03,640
Good luck. 395

394
00:30:03,641 --> 00:30:05,482
In you go. 396

395
00:30:16,498 --> 00:30:18,219
Fall in. 397

396
00:30:19,902 --> 00:30:22,905
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin. 398

397
00:30:22,906 --> 00:30:24,147
You are about to embark... 399

398
00:30:24,148 --> 00:30:27,712
on what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world. 400

399
00:30:27,713 --> 00:30:32,734
One of you, and only one of you, will become the next Lancelot. 401

400
00:30:33,319 --> 00:30:36,540
Can anybody tell me what this is? 402

401
00:30:37,445 --> 00:30:39,206
- Yes? - Body bag, sir. 403

402
00:30:39,207 --> 00:30:41,730
Correct. Charlie, isn't it? 404

403
00:30:41,731 --> 00:30:42,771
Yes, sir. 405

404
00:30:42,772 --> 00:30:43,692
Good. 406

405
00:30:43,693 --> 00:30:46,255
In a moment, you will each collect a body bag. 407

406
00:30:46,256 --> 00:30:48,418
You will write your name on that bag. 408

407
00:30:48,419 --> 00:30:51,823
You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag. 409

408
00:30:51,824 --> 00:30:55,427
This represents your acknowledgment of the risks that you are about to face... 410

409
00:30:55,428 --> 00:30:58,712
as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality. 411

410
00:30:58,713 --> 00:31:02,076
Which, incidentally, if you break, will result in you... 412

411
00:31:02,077 --> 00:31:04,698
and your next of kin... 413

412
00:31:04,881 --> 00:31:07,202
being in that bag. 414

413
00:31:08,125 --> 00:31:10,505
Is that understood? 415

414
00:31:11,049 --> 00:31:12,810
Excellent. 416

415
00:31:12,811 --> 00:31:14,592
Fall out. 417

416
00:31:21,422 --> 00:31:24,223
Roxanne. But call me Roxy. 418

417
00:31:24,587 --> 00:31:26,147
- I'm Eggsy. - Eggy? 419

418
00:31:26,148 --> 00:31:27,309
No. Eggsy. 420

419
00:31:27,310 --> 00:31:28,791
Eggy? 421

420
00:31:28,792 --> 00:31:30,072
Where did they dig you up? 422

421
00:31:30,073 --> 00:31:32,355
You know we're not allowed to discuss who proposed us. 423

422
00:31:32,356 --> 00:31:33,797
No need to bite his head off. 424

423
00:31:33,798 --> 00:31:36,761
Charlie's only making conversation, right, Charlie? 425

424
00:31:36,762 --> 00:31:38,603
I'm Digby. 426

425
00:31:39,285 --> 00:31:40,125
Digby. 427

426
00:31:40,126 --> 00:31:41,688
Eggy, this is Rufus. 428

427
00:31:41,689 --> 00:31:43,649
Rufus, Eggy. 429

428
00:31:45,373 --> 00:31:48,657
So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge? 430

429
00:31:48,658 --> 00:31:49,497
Neither. 431

430
00:31:49,498 --> 00:31:50,980
- Saint Andrews? - Durham? 432

431
00:31:50,981 --> 00:31:53,062
No, wait, I think we may have met. 433

432
00:31:53,063 --> 00:31:56,747
Did you serve me at the McDonald's in Winchester service station? 434

433
00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:58,169
No. 435

434
00:31:58,190 --> 00:32:01,231
It's definitely Saint Andrews. 436

435
00:32:01,274 --> 00:32:02,635
Just ignore them. 437

436
00:32:02,636 --> 00:32:03,877
You need a pen? 438

437
00:32:03,878 --> 00:32:04,798
Cheers. 439

438
00:32:04,799 --> 00:32:06,399
Amelia, isn't it? 440

439
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:07,962
Amelia, Eggsy. 441

440
00:32:07,963 --> 00:32:09,483
Hi, Eggsy- 442

441
00:32:09,484 --> 00:32:11,406
Don't take any notice of those guys. 443

442
00:32:11,407 --> 00:32:14,028
That's what I told him. 444

443
00:32:15,412 --> 00:32:16,973
It's just scare tactics. 445

444
00:32:16,974 --> 00:32:18,816
Classic army technique. 446

445
00:32:18,817 --> 00:32:21,198
No one's gonna die. 447

446
00:32:23,984 --> 00:32:25,584
Shame. 448

447
00:32:27,308 --> 00:32:29,670
Great. You don't know, the CIA don't know. 449

448
00:32:29,671 --> 00:32:32,652
Nobody knows who this guy is? 450

449
00:32:32,955 --> 00:32:34,116
Fine. 451

450
00:32:34,117 --> 00:32:35,678
Seriously, it's fine. 452

451
00:32:35,679 --> 00:32:39,723
Well, it's not really fine, but it's not why I'm here. 453

452
00:32:39,724 --> 00:32:43,327
Hell, man, you know me. Money's not my issue. 454

453
00:32:43,328 --> 00:32:45,210
I could've retired straight out of MIT... 455

454
00:32:45,211 --> 00:32:47,854
fucked off to some island, let the business run itself. 456

455
00:32:47,855 --> 00:32:50,778
Nobody told me to try and save the planet. 457

456
00:32:50,779 --> 00:32:52,579
I wanted to. 458

457
00:32:52,580 --> 00:32:56,464
Climate change research, lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars... 459

458
00:32:56,465 --> 00:32:58,708
and you know why I quit? 460

459
00:32:58,709 --> 00:33:03,610
Because the last time I checked, the planet was still fucked. 461

460
00:33:03,795 --> 00:33:06,176
Hence, my epiphany- 462

461
00:33:06,478 --> 00:33:09,099
Money won't solve this. 463

462
00:33:09,602 --> 00:33:12,245
Those idiots who call themselves politicians... 464

463
00:33:12,246 --> 00:33:17,091
have buried their heads in the sand and stood for nothing but re-election. 465

464
00:33:17,092 --> 00:33:21,994
So I spent the last two years trying to find a real solution. 466

465
00:33:22,019 --> 00:33:24,160
And I found it. 467

466
00:33:25,023 --> 00:33:28,306
Now, if you really want to make the world a better place... 468

467
00:33:28,307 --> 00:33:32,992
I suggest you open your fucking ears, because I'm about to tell it to you. 469

468
00:33:32,993 --> 00:33:34,995
Go on, Mr. Valentine. 470

469
00:33:34,996 --> 00:33:37,318
I'm still listening. 471

470
00:33:37,319 --> 00:33:40,780
As long as you agree to all my terms. 472

471
00:34:29,466 --> 00:34:31,268
All right, no one panic. Listen to me. 473

472
00:34:31,269 --> 00:34:33,109
Stay calm. 474

473
00:34:33,151 --> 00:34:34,692
Fuck. 475

474
00:34:35,995 --> 00:34:37,796
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels! 476

475
00:34:37,797 --> 00:34:38,958
Loo snorkels? 477

476
00:34:38,959 --> 00:34:40,920
Showerheads! 478

477
00:34:41,002 --> 00:34:42,002
Showerheads? 479

478
00:34:42,003 --> 00:34:44,684
She's right. Fucking go! 480

479
00:34:45,367 --> 00:34:49,728
Hey, hang about, what's wrong with the fucking door? 481

480
00:36:11,679 --> 00:36:14,762
Congratulations on completing your first task. 482

481
00:36:14,763 --> 00:36:17,504
Charlie, Roxy, well done. 483

482
00:36:17,567 --> 00:36:19,528
For those of you who are still confused... 484

483
00:36:19,529 --> 00:36:21,891
if you can get a breathing tube around a U-bend of a toilet... 485

484
00:36:21,892 --> 00:36:23,893
you have an unlimited air supply. 486

485
00:36:23,894 --> 00:36:26,577
Simple physics, worth remembering. 487

486
00:36:26,578 --> 00:36:30,022
Eggsy, well done for spotting that was a two-way mirror. 488

487
00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:31,184
He's probably seen enough of them. 489

488
00:36:31,185 --> 00:36:34,268
Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks off your faces. 490

489
00:36:34,269 --> 00:36:38,433
Because as far as I'm concerned, every single one of you has failed. 491

490
00:36:38,434 --> 00:36:42,195
You all forgot the most important thing... 492

491
00:36:42,479 --> 00:36:44,260
teamwork. 493

492
00:36:57,979 --> 00:37:01,320
So much for classic army technique. 494

493
00:37:03,826 --> 00:37:05,247
35. 495

494
00:37:05,749 --> 00:37:07,229
105. 496

495
00:37:07,752 --> 00:37:10,252
That's it. That's it. 497

496
00:37:14,681 --> 00:37:16,122
Hello. 498

497
00:37:16,123 --> 00:37:17,364
Can I help you? 499

498
00:37:17,365 --> 00:37:21,546
Yes. I have a question about anthropogenic force. 500

499
00:37:22,211 --> 00:37:25,852
Really? It's actually quite fascinating. 501

500
00:37:27,217 --> 00:37:29,058
My colleague died trying to rescue you... 502

501
00:37:29,059 --> 00:37:30,901
and I'm sure you saw how well trained he was... 503

502
00:37:30,902 --> 00:37:33,664
so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped you and why they let you go. 504

503
00:37:33,665 --> 00:37:36,228
I have no idea what you're talking... 505

504
00:37:36,229 --> 00:37:38,871
I'm not supposed to say it, but it was... 506

505
00:37:38,872 --> 00:37:40,714
For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 507

506
00:37:40,715 --> 00:37:42,375
Man up! 508

507
00:38:02,903 --> 00:38:06,387
Fuck that guy, whoever he is. I'm gonna... 509

508
00:38:06,388 --> 00:38:08,510
He made me kill Professor Arnold. 510

509
00:38:08,511 --> 00:38:09,991
I goddamn loved Professor Arnold. 511

510
00:38:09,992 --> 00:38:11,234
Well, the good news is... 512

511
00:38:11,235 --> 00:38:13,196
we know the emergency and surveillance system work. 513

512
00:38:13,197 --> 00:38:15,319
You know what's not good news? 514

513
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,201
My colleague died! 515

514
00:38:17,202 --> 00:38:18,763
That's what he said! 516

515
00:38:18,764 --> 00:38:21,367
This is an organisation, and they're all over us. 517

516
00:38:21,368 --> 00:38:23,289
- Whoever you spoke to... - I told you... 518

517
00:38:23,290 --> 00:38:27,013
I made contact with the KGB, MI6, Mossad and Beijing. 519

518
00:38:27,014 --> 00:38:28,856
They all insist he wasn't one of theirs. 520

519
00:38:28,857 --> 00:38:30,577
Beijing- 521

520
00:38:30,579 --> 00:38:35,265
So freaky how there's no recognisable name for the Chinese secret service. 522

521
00:38:35,266 --> 00:38:38,469
Now, that's what you call a secret, right? 523

522
00:38:38,470 --> 00:38:40,672
You know what? Fuck it. 524

523
00:38:40,673 --> 00:38:42,434
We need to speed things up. 525

524
00:38:42,435 --> 00:38:43,915
Bring the product release forward. 526

525
00:38:43,916 --> 00:38:45,918
We're only halfway into production... 527

526
00:38:45,919 --> 00:38:47,521
and speeding it will cost a fortune. 528

527
00:38:47,522 --> 00:38:49,042
Do I look like I give a fuck? 529

528
00:38:49,043 --> 00:38:51,304
Just get it done. 530

529
00:38:53,409 --> 00:38:57,411
As some of you will have learned last night... 531

530
00:38:57,415 --> 00:39:00,778
teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman. 532

531
00:39:00,779 --> 00:39:04,743
We're here to enhance your skills, test you to the limit. 533

532
00:39:04,744 --> 00:39:08,325
Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy. 534

533
00:39:08,349 --> 00:39:10,350
Wherever you go, your dog goes. 535

534
00:39:10,351 --> 00:39:12,753
You will care for it. You will teach it. 536

535
00:39:12,754 --> 00:39:15,957
And by the time it's fully trained, so will you be. 537

536
00:39:15,958 --> 00:39:18,721
Those of you who are still here, that is. 538

537
00:39:18,722 --> 00:39:20,844
Do you understand? 539

538
00:39:20,845 --> 00:39:23,165
Choose your puppy. 540

539
00:39:25,411 --> 00:39:26,731
A Doodle? 541

540
00:39:26,732 --> 00:39:27,813
What? 542

541
00:39:27,814 --> 00:39:29,575
They're gun dogs. 543

542
00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:31,258
Oldest working breed. 544

543
00:39:31,259 --> 00:39:33,339
Easy to train. 545

544
00:39:34,062 --> 00:39:35,662
A pug? 546

545
00:39:36,705 --> 00:39:39,266
It's a bulldog, innit? 547

546
00:39:40,831 --> 00:39:44,172
It'll get bigger, though, won't it? 548

547
00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:47,658
Shit. 549

548
00:39:50,242 --> 00:39:53,703
His MRI shows no signs of concussion. 550

549
00:39:53,767 --> 00:39:56,808
No direct brain trauma at all. 551

550
00:39:57,051 --> 00:39:59,293
How much longer can he be out? 552

551
00:39:59,294 --> 00:40:00,655
That's the million-dollar question. 553

552
00:40:00,656 --> 00:40:02,658
We don't know what he was exposed to in there. 554

553
00:40:02,659 --> 00:40:04,260
What about Harry's footage? 555

554
00:40:04,261 --> 00:40:06,102
It didn't stream to his home terminal. 556

555
00:40:06,103 --> 00:40:08,904
Encrypted and uncrackable. 557

556
00:40:09,307 --> 00:40:10,628
If and when he comes around... 558

557
00:40:10,629 --> 00:40:13,432
you might want to have a word with him about sharing his password. 559

558
00:40:13,433 --> 00:40:16,174
Is he gonna be all right? 560

559
00:40:16,276 --> 00:40:18,359
We need to have patience, Eggsy. 561

560
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,280
But there's hope, okay? 562

561
00:40:20,281 --> 00:40:22,163
If I were you, I'd concentrate on your training. 563

562
00:40:22,164 --> 00:40:25,925
Make it through the tests. Make him proud. 564

563
00:40:31,977 --> 00:40:33,618
Come on, come on, come on! 565

564
00:40:33,619 --> 00:40:36,240
J.B., come on! Come on! 566

565
00:40:38,826 --> 00:40:41,669
I'm not coming last because of you. 567

566
00:40:41,670 --> 00:40:45,394
J.B., I'll shoot you! Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you! 568

567
00:40:45,395 --> 00:40:49,156
Merlin said we're not allowed to hold you. 569

568
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,020
Bollocks. 570

569
00:41:33,336 --> 00:41:34,937
Water! 571

570
00:41:37,623 --> 00:41:39,263
- Come on, then! - Eggsy, forget it! 572

571
00:41:39,264 --> 00:41:40,946
What's wrong, mate? You can't take a joke? 573

572
00:41:40,947 --> 00:41:43,308
Seriously, you'll get thrown out, and it's just not worth it. 574

573
00:41:43,309 --> 00:41:44,951
Maybe I don't give a fuck if I get kicked out! 575

574
00:41:44,952 --> 00:41:46,473
Do it. Come on, you pleb. 576

575
00:41:46,474 --> 00:41:48,795
Charlie, fuck off! 577

576
00:41:49,998 --> 00:41:53,219
Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead. 578

577
00:41:54,324 --> 00:41:55,565
Come on, J.B. 579

578
00:41:55,566 --> 00:41:57,887
Come on, good boy. 580

579
00:42:10,464 --> 00:42:13,027
You have exactly one hour to complete the test... 581

580
00:42:13,028 --> 00:42:15,049
starting now. 582

581
00:42:16,673 --> 00:42:18,595
New target, 800 metres. 583

582
00:42:18,596 --> 00:42:20,356
You know, it's unbelievable. You're still here... 584

583
00:42:20,357 --> 00:42:24,041
lingering like some big, steaming shit that just won't flush. 585

584
00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:25,724
Roger that. Target identified. 586

585
00:42:25,725 --> 00:42:27,887
And how about you shut the fuck up? 587

586
00:42:27,888 --> 00:42:29,168
Positive discrimination... 588

587
00:42:29,169 --> 00:42:30,771
that's what it is. 589

588
00:42:30,772 --> 00:42:34,135
It's like those fucking state school kids who get into Oxford on C grades... 590

589
00:42:34,136 --> 00:42:35,897
because their mum is a one-legged lesbian. 591

590
00:42:35,898 --> 00:42:37,580
You don't know fuck all about my grades. 592

591
00:42:37,581 --> 00:42:39,622
Forgive me, I'm sure you're highly educated. 593

592
00:42:39,623 --> 00:42:41,824
Fire when ready. 594

593
00:42:43,267 --> 00:42:46,848
How's that for positive discrimination? 595

594
00:42:57,967 --> 00:42:59,928
I want to thank you both for listening... 596

595
00:42:59,929 --> 00:43:03,172
and I really, really appreciate you travelling all this way... 597

596
00:43:03,173 --> 00:43:04,534
Your Royal Highness. 598

597
00:43:04,535 --> 00:43:06,296
And you, too, Prime Minister. 599

598
00:43:06,297 --> 00:43:09,458
I think this is quite brilliant. 600

599
00:43:09,822 --> 00:43:12,623
It's absolutely brilliant. 601

600
00:43:13,106 --> 00:43:15,847
You are completely crazy. 602

601
00:43:17,993 --> 00:43:19,674
And as for you, Prime Minister 603

602
00:43:19,675 --> 00:43:23,316
I'm speechless you'd even consider this. 604

603
00:43:27,204 --> 00:43:30,327
- Don't touch... - Sorry, Your Royal Highness. 605

604
00:43:30,328 --> 00:43:31,529
But you've got a big role to play... 606

605
00:43:31,530 --> 00:43:34,413
in getting the Scandinavian region back on track. 607

606
00:43:34,414 --> 00:43:35,935
You're popular, inspirational... 608

607
00:43:35,936 --> 00:43:38,538
and you have the power to galvanise the people. 609

608
00:43:38,539 --> 00:43:41,542
Now, whether you're on board or not... 610

609
00:43:41,543 --> 00:43:43,344
I'm going to have to insist... 611

610
00:43:43,345 --> 00:43:46,749
on getting you somewhere I can ensure your safety. 612

611
00:43:46,750 --> 00:43:49,913
How about you, Prime Minister? You in or out? 613

612
00:43:49,914 --> 00:43:51,595
Well, I think it's about time... 614

613
00:43:51,596 --> 00:43:56,677
that a politician did something that actually made a difference. 615

614
00:43:56,763 --> 00:43:58,544
Too true. 616

615
00:43:58,766 --> 00:43:59,766
What? 617

616
00:43:59,767 --> 00:44:01,848
Take her away. 618

617
00:44:04,774 --> 00:44:06,374
Drink? 619

618
00:44:06,615 --> 00:44:08,336
Why not? 620

619
00:44:10,060 --> 00:44:12,081
Guards! Help! 621

620
00:44:12,103 --> 00:44:13,023
Don't worry. 622

621
00:44:13,024 --> 00:44:14,986
No harm will come to the princess. 623

622
00:44:14,987 --> 00:44:19,828
Well, I'm a republican anyways, so it really doesn't matter. 624

623
00:44:20,633 --> 00:44:23,134
Release the princess! 625

624
00:44:55,399 --> 00:44:56,720
Okay, you're done. 626

625
00:44:56,721 --> 00:44:58,763
Not so bad, right? 627

626
00:44:58,764 --> 00:45:00,926
Hardly felt a thing. 628

627
00:45:00,927 --> 00:45:02,888
Welcome aboard. 629

628
00:45:02,889 --> 00:45:05,390
Pleasure is all mine. 630

629
00:45:11,060 --> 00:45:13,261
Ever heard of knocking? 631

630
00:45:13,262 --> 00:45:16,105
Only when I'm casing a place to rob. 632

631
00:45:16,106 --> 00:45:18,588
Merlin said you wanted to see me? 633

632
00:45:18,589 --> 00:45:20,912
I hope J.B.'s training is going as well as yours is. 634

633
00:45:20,913 --> 00:45:22,393
Sit. 635

634
00:45:24,477 --> 00:45:27,520
Congratulations on making it to the final six candidates. 636

635
00:45:27,521 --> 00:45:32,182
Your test results were even better than I could've hoped. 637

636
00:45:32,647 --> 00:45:34,368
Come in. 638

637
00:45:38,015 --> 00:45:40,818
Eggsy, I need to have a private conversation. 639

638
00:45:40,819 --> 00:45:41,979
You're dismissed. 640

639
00:45:41,980 --> 00:45:43,901
Nonsense. Let him observe. 641

640
00:45:43,902 --> 00:45:46,024
Might learn a thing or two. 642

641
00:45:46,025 --> 00:45:48,187
As you wish. Take a look at this. 643

642
00:45:48,188 --> 00:45:50,149
For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 644

643
00:45:50,150 --> 00:45:51,671
Man up! 645

644
00:45:51,672 --> 00:45:53,513
Fucking hell! 646

645
00:45:53,514 --> 00:45:55,955
That is rank, Harry. 647

646
00:45:56,198 --> 00:45:57,719
You blew up his head? 648

647
00:45:57,720 --> 00:45:59,321
It's a bit much, innit? 649

648
00:45:59,322 --> 00:46:03,206
Actually, the explosion was caused by an implant in his neck. 650

649
00:46:03,207 --> 00:46:05,049
Here, under the scar. 651

650
00:46:05,050 --> 00:46:07,732
Did my hardware pick up the signal that triggered it? 652

651
00:46:07,733 --> 00:46:09,574
Fortunately, yes. 653

652
00:46:09,575 --> 00:46:11,697
Unfortunately, the IP address I traced it to... 654

653
00:46:11,698 --> 00:46:14,060
is registered to the Valentine Corporation. 655

654
00:46:14,061 --> 00:46:17,104
That's not much of a lead. He has millions of employees worldwide. 656

655
00:46:17,105 --> 00:46:20,506
That Richmond Valentine is a genius. 657

656
00:46:22,873 --> 00:46:25,755
Did you not see his announcement today? 658

657
00:46:25,756 --> 00:46:27,176
No. 659

658
00:46:31,004 --> 00:46:34,705
We each spend on average $2,000 a year... 660

659
00:46:34,768 --> 00:46:36,809
on cell phone and internet usage. 661

660
00:46:36,810 --> 00:46:40,094
It gives me great pleasure to announce... 662

661
00:46:40,095 --> 00:46:42,536
those days are over. 663

662
00:46:42,818 --> 00:46:44,019
As of tomorrow... 664

663
00:46:44,020 --> 00:46:48,025
every man, woman and child can claim a free SIM card... 665

664
00:46:48,026 --> 00:46:52,087
compatible with any cell phone, any computer... 666

665
00:46:52,351 --> 00:46:56,412
and utilise my communications network for free. 667

666
00:46:56,676 --> 00:46:58,198
Free calls... 668

667
00:46:58,199 --> 00:46:59,839
free internet... 669

668
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:01,861
for everyone. 670

669
00:47:02,364 --> 00:47:04,084
Forever. 671

670
00:47:19,546 --> 00:47:22,749
Valentine's assistant has the same implant scar. 672

671
00:47:22,750 --> 00:47:27,231
I think Mr. Valentine and I should have a téte-a-téte. 673

672
00:47:28,918 --> 00:47:31,561
He's having a gala dinner next week. 674

673
00:47:31,562 --> 00:47:34,605
I'll get you an invitation. You need to be careful, though. 675

674
00:47:34,606 --> 00:47:36,727
Since you've been out, hundreds of VIPs have gone missing. 676

675
00:47:36,728 --> 00:47:39,451
No ransom notes, exactly like Professor Arnold. 677

676
00:47:39,452 --> 00:47:44,234
Then I suggest you make my alias somebody worth kidnapping. 678

677
00:47:55,994 --> 00:47:57,314
Fuck, fuck, fuck! 679

678
00:47:57,315 --> 00:47:58,636
What, don't like heights? 680

679
00:47:58,637 --> 00:47:59,877
Yeah, it's okay. 681

680
00:47:59,878 --> 00:48:04,804
I've done it before, which is probably why, come to think of it. 682

681
00:48:04,805 --> 00:48:06,846
Hey, it's gonna be all right. 683

682
00:48:06,847 --> 00:48:09,528
You're top of the class. 684

683
00:48:10,292 --> 00:48:11,693
Listen up. 685

684
00:48:11,694 --> 00:48:14,657
Your mission is to land in the target without the radar detecting you. 686

685
00:48:14,658 --> 00:48:18,702
If I read you on the radar, or you miss the target, you go home. 687

686
00:48:18,703 --> 00:48:21,084
Is that understood? 688

687
00:48:23,389 --> 00:48:26,550
Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds. 689

688
00:48:27,354 --> 00:48:29,315
We gotta go. 690

689
00:48:38,049 --> 00:48:40,090
Eggsy, I really don't think I can do this. 691

690
00:48:40,091 --> 00:48:41,252
Of course you can't. 692

691
00:48:41,253 --> 00:48:45,194
Head to the back and I'll show you how, yeah? 693

692
00:48:51,106 --> 00:48:53,606
Eggsy, wait! Hang on! 694

693
00:48:54,109 --> 00:48:57,150
Roxy, just stop fucking about! 695

694
00:48:57,233 --> 00:48:59,434
Follow me, yeah? 696

695
00:49:12,333 --> 00:49:14,053
Come on! 697

696
00:49:15,457 --> 00:49:18,138
Roxy, it's now or never. 698

697
00:49:18,781 --> 00:49:20,321
Jump! 699

698
00:49:38,687 --> 00:49:40,168
Good girl, Rox... 700

699
00:49:40,169 --> 00:49:42,670
I'm glad you made it! 701

700
00:49:54,588 --> 00:49:56,128
Yeah! 702

701
00:49:56,910 --> 00:49:58,631
Come on! 703

702
00:50:00,315 --> 00:50:02,597
My, my, you're all very cheerful. 704

703
00:50:02,598 --> 00:50:04,960
Did you really think it was gonna be that straightforward? 705

704
00:50:04,961 --> 00:50:07,483
Any idiot can read a heads-up display. 706

705
00:50:07,484 --> 00:50:11,769
A Kingsman agent needs to be able to solve problems under pressure. 707

706
00:50:11,770 --> 00:50:16,371
Like what to do when one of your group has no parachute. 708

707
00:50:16,656 --> 00:50:18,698
- What, no parachute? - Shit! 709

708
00:50:18,699 --> 00:50:19,979
Who? 710

709
00:50:19,980 --> 00:50:20,981
Fuck! 711

710
00:50:20,982 --> 00:50:22,102
Which one? 712

711
00:50:22,103 --> 00:50:23,704
What do we do? 713

712
00:50:23,705 --> 00:50:25,267
I told you. Aim for the target. 714

713
00:50:25,268 --> 00:50:26,708
Come in under the radar. 715

714
00:50:26,709 --> 00:50:29,031
And I hope not to be scraping one of you up. 716

715
00:50:29,032 --> 00:50:32,516
But if I do have to, and you're inside the target... 717

716
00:50:32,517 --> 00:50:34,399
please know I'll be very impressed. 718

717
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:36,780
- Fuck! - Oh, Shit! 719

718
00:50:39,686 --> 00:50:42,967
Everybody listen, I've got a plan! 720

719
00:50:43,090 --> 00:50:46,851
Pair off! Grab the closest person to them. 721

720
00:50:48,698 --> 00:50:50,098
Rufus, come on! 722

721
00:50:50,099 --> 00:50:51,640
Fuck! 723

722
00:50:51,902 --> 00:50:53,223
Rufus! 724

723
00:50:53,224 --> 00:50:55,305
Shit! I can't! 725

724
00:50:58,231 --> 00:50:59,771
Fuck! 726

725
00:51:00,273 --> 00:51:01,554
Thank God! 727

726
00:51:01,555 --> 00:51:03,875
Rufus, you wanker! 728

727
00:51:04,639 --> 00:51:07,120
Shit, we're an odd number now! 729

728
00:51:07,121 --> 00:51:08,363
Quick, make a circle! 730

729
00:51:08,364 --> 00:51:11,765
Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it. 731

730
00:51:14,812 --> 00:51:17,053
We pull our cords one by one! 732

731
00:51:17,054 --> 00:51:18,456
When we know who's fucked... 733

732
00:51:18,457 --> 00:51:21,580
the person on their right grabs them. 734

733
00:51:21,581 --> 00:51:23,302
Okay, Eggsy. 735

734
00:51:23,303 --> 00:51:24,464
Good plan, Eggsy. 736

735
00:51:24,465 --> 00:51:26,786
You have 30 seconds. Come on now, hurry. 737

736
00:51:26,787 --> 00:51:28,568
Me first! 738

737
00:51:30,312 --> 00:51:31,313
Fuck! 739

738
00:51:31,314 --> 00:51:32,794
Yes! 740

739
00:51:34,678 --> 00:51:36,758
Okay, me next. 741

740
00:51:39,123 --> 00:51:42,044
See you on the ground, boys. 742

741
00:51:44,491 --> 00:51:46,151
Now me. 743

742
00:51:49,377 --> 00:51:50,918
Fuck! 744

743
00:51:54,864 --> 00:51:55,824
Roxy... - 745

744
00:51:55,825 --> 00:52:00,186
no matter what happens now, I've got you, all right? 746

745
00:52:01,393 --> 00:52:02,833
Okay, Eggsy. 747

746
00:52:02,834 --> 00:52:05,695
- Yours first, okay? - Yep. 748

747
00:52:17,212 --> 00:52:18,753
Shit! 749

748
00:52:25,904 --> 00:52:27,444
Shit! 750

749
00:52:29,268 --> 00:52:30,808
Shit! 751

750
00:52:31,952 --> 00:52:33,432
Rox! 752

751
00:52:36,398 --> 00:52:37,939
Fuck. 753

752
00:52:53,860 --> 00:52:55,701
Hugo, DEW- 754

753
00:52:56,223 --> 00:52:59,186
You don't land in the K, you're not in the K. 755

754
00:52:59,187 --> 00:53:01,670
Rufus, you opened too soon. 756

755
00:53:01,671 --> 00:53:03,191
You were all over the radar. 757

756
00:53:03,192 --> 00:53:06,953
All three of you, pack your bags, go home. 758

757
00:53:07,157 --> 00:53:09,680
Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. 759

758
00:53:09,681 --> 00:53:11,483
You set a new record. 760

759
00:53:11,484 --> 00:53:12,884
Opening at 300 feet... 761

760
00:53:12,885 --> 00:53:14,085
that's pretty ballsy. 762

761
00:53:14,086 --> 00:53:17,731
Well done for completing another task. Fall out. 763

762
00:53:17,732 --> 00:53:18,892
Sorry, sir. 764

763
00:53:18,893 --> 00:53:20,734
But why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? 765

764
00:53:20,735 --> 00:53:22,096
Am I the expendable candidate? 766

765
00:53:22,097 --> 00:53:24,860
No, no, no. You don't talk to me like that. 767

766
00:53:24,861 --> 00:53:30,002
You have a complaint, you come here and you whisper it in my ear. 768

767
00:53:33,912 --> 00:53:37,854
You need to take that chip off your shoulder. 769

768
00:54:07,677 --> 00:54:10,799
Mr. DeVere. It's a pleasure to meet you. 770

769
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,683
I'm awfully sorry. I seem to have my dates muddled up. 771

770
00:54:13,684 --> 00:54:16,887
No, no, no. I cancelled the gala because of you. 772

771
00:54:16,888 --> 00:54:18,850
Anybody willing to donate that much... 773

772
00:54:18,851 --> 00:54:22,192
deserves their own dinner. Come in! 774

773
00:54:22,656 --> 00:54:24,497
Thank you. 775

774
00:54:25,540 --> 00:54:28,222
Got to admit, I was really intrigued to meet you. 776

775
00:54:28,223 --> 00:54:30,224
There aren't many billionaires I don't know. 777

776
00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:31,386
I don't doubt it. 778

777
00:54:31,387 --> 00:54:34,551
And, obviously, I had my people look into your affairs... 779

778
00:54:34,552 --> 00:54:36,432
and that's some pretty old money you're from. 780

779
00:54:36,433 --> 00:54:37,915
How'd your folks make it? 781

780
00:54:37,916 --> 00:54:41,079
Property, mostly. Property and the markets. 782

781
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,281
Nothing questionable, if that's your concern. 783

782
00:54:43,282 --> 00:54:46,205
Look, I'm just into finding out what caliber person you are. 784

783
00:54:46,206 --> 00:54:47,608
I'm sure you understand that. 785

784
00:54:47,609 --> 00:54:48,809
I most certainly do. 786

785
00:54:48,810 --> 00:54:50,490
- Hope you're hungry. - I'm famished. 787

786
00:54:50,491 --> 00:54:51,613
Good. 788

787
00:54:51,614 --> 00:54:53,574
Grab a seat. 789

788
00:55:14,403 --> 00:55:15,644
I'll have the Big Mac, please. 790

789
00:55:15,645 --> 00:55:17,005
Great choice. 791

790
00:55:17,006 --> 00:55:20,569
But nothing beats two cheeseburgers with secret sauce. 792

791
00:55:20,570 --> 00:55:22,532
Goes great with this '45 Lafite. 793

792
00:55:22,533 --> 00:55:23,974
A classic pairing. 794

793
00:55:23,975 --> 00:55:27,820
And may I suggest Twinkies and a 1937 Chateau d'Yquem for pudding? 795

794
00:55:27,821 --> 00:55:29,661
I like it. 796

795
00:55:29,783 --> 00:55:33,424
So, you want to donate to my foundation. 797

796
00:55:33,748 --> 00:55:37,231
You are aware that I wound things down in that area, right? 798

797
00:55:37,232 --> 00:55:40,355
Climate change is a threat, which affects us all, Mr. Valentine. 799

798
00:55:40,356 --> 00:55:43,640
And you're one of the few powerful men who seems to share my concerns. 800

799
00:55:43,641 --> 00:55:46,483
No, I shut things down, because I wasn't getting anywhere. 801

800
00:55:46,484 --> 00:55:49,487
Every bit of research kept pointing to the same thing. 802

801
00:55:49,488 --> 00:55:51,010
That carbon emissions are a red herring... 803

802
00:55:51,011 --> 00:55:55,095
and that we're past the point of no return no matter what remedial actions we take? 804

803
00:55:55,096 --> 00:55:56,857
You know your shit. 805

804
00:55:56,858 --> 00:56:01,023
I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance of those less well versed in their... 806

805
00:56:01,024 --> 00:56:02,564
Shit. 807

806
00:56:03,266 --> 00:56:05,388
As Professor Arnold always said... 808

807
00:56:05,389 --> 00:56:07,992
Humankind is the only virus cursed to live... 809

808
00:56:07,993 --> 00:56:12,477
with the horrifying knowledge of its host's fragile mortality. 810

809
00:56:12,478 --> 00:56:16,419
You know, not a lot of people knew about him. 811

810
00:56:17,766 --> 00:56:20,926
You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere? 812

811
00:56:23,813 --> 00:56:27,016
Nowadays, they're all a little serious for my taste. 813

812
00:56:27,017 --> 00:56:28,779
But the old ones... 814

813
00:56:28,780 --> 00:56:30,220
Marvellous. 815

814
00:56:30,221 --> 00:56:32,623
Give me a far-fetched theatrical plot any day. 816

815
00:56:32,624 --> 00:56:35,605
The old Bond movies. Oh, man! 817

816
00:56:36,309 --> 00:56:39,950
When I was a kid, that was my dream job. 818

817
00:56:40,634 --> 00:56:42,596
Gentleman spy. 819

818
00:56:42,597 --> 00:56:46,321
I always felt the old Bond films were only as good as the villain. 820

819
00:56:46,322 --> 00:56:51,524
As a child, I rather fancied a future as a colourful megalomaniac. 821

820
00:56:52,330 --> 00:56:55,731
What a shame we both had to grow up. 822

821
00:57:00,260 --> 00:57:02,221
Bon appétit. 823

822
00:57:04,025 --> 00:57:07,148
Just give me a couple of days to think over your proposal. 824

823
00:57:07,149 --> 00:57:08,911
I'll have my people get in touch with yours... 825

824
00:57:08,912 --> 00:57:10,592
and it's all good. 826

825
00:57:10,593 --> 00:57:13,994
And thank you for such a happy meal. 827

826
00:57:19,485 --> 00:57:21,047
Well, want me to follow him? 828

827
00:57:21,048 --> 00:57:22,448
Nah. 829

828
00:57:22,449 --> 00:57:25,092
I put a nano tracker gel in the wine. 830

829
00:57:25,093 --> 00:57:28,256
We'll know his every move for the next 24 hours. 831

830
00:57:28,257 --> 00:57:31,538
Finally find out who he works for. 832

831
00:57:32,382 --> 00:57:34,504
Valentine didn't let me out of his sight. 833

832
00:57:34,505 --> 00:57:37,726
All I got was this on the way in. 834

833
00:57:41,154 --> 00:57:45,118
South Glade Mission Church is a hate group based in Kentucky. 835

834
00:57:45,119 --> 00:57:46,880
FBI have been monitoring them for years. 836

835
00:57:46,881 --> 00:57:48,843
But you think Valentine is a supporter? 837

836
00:57:48,844 --> 00:57:53,008
No evidence yet of a direct connection, but I'll keep looking. 838

837
00:57:53,009 --> 00:57:54,570
By the way... 839

838
00:57:54,571 --> 00:58:00,017
our ever-growing list of missing persons now includes Scandinavian royalty. 840

839
00:58:00,018 --> 00:58:02,879
Royal Crown Princess Tilde. 841

840
00:58:04,824 --> 00:58:07,745
Just let me out, you psycho! 842

841
00:58:07,828 --> 00:58:10,830
I told you, you're free to go any time you want. 843

842
00:58:10,831 --> 00:58:13,514
As long as you agree to my conditions. 844

843
00:58:13,515 --> 00:58:15,317
I don't agree... 845

844
00:58:15,318 --> 00:58:18,201
and I am never ever going to agree! 846

845
00:58:18,202 --> 00:58:19,883
Tough shit. 847

846
00:58:19,884 --> 00:58:21,485
Bitch. 848

847
00:58:23,048 --> 00:58:25,410
I want to speak to the British Council! 849

848
00:58:25,411 --> 00:58:30,016
The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries has continued to grow in recent weeks... 850

849
00:58:30,017 --> 00:58:34,061
and world leaders are coming under increasing pressure to provide answers. 851

850
00:58:34,062 --> 00:58:37,987
We are doing everything in our power to find Princess Tilde. 852

851
00:58:37,988 --> 00:58:41,351
You know, governments and security forces worldwide... 853

852
00:58:41,352 --> 00:58:45,236
are working together to find the person behind these abductions. 854

853
00:58:45,237 --> 00:58:47,038
In other news, people all over the world... 855

854
00:58:47,039 --> 00:58:51,604
Continue to wait in line day and night to get their free SIM cards. 856

855
00:58:51,605 --> 00:58:54,247
Mrs. P, did you get one? 857

856
00:58:54,248 --> 00:58:57,011
Yeah, I've been queuing up all day. 858

857
00:58:57,012 --> 00:59:01,417
This unprecedented giveaway by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine... 859

858
00:59:01,418 --> 00:59:04,421
has already seen over a billion cards distributed. 860

859
00:59:04,422 --> 00:59:06,142
At ease. 861

860
00:59:07,826 --> 00:59:11,030
So you thought we were done for the day, huh? 862

861
00:59:11,031 --> 00:59:13,231
Well, we're not. 863

862
00:59:13,873 --> 00:59:17,034
- A party? - Tonight, in London. 864

863
00:59:17,638 --> 00:59:20,121
- Who's this? - Your target. 865

864
00:59:20,122 --> 00:59:22,244
Your mission is to use your NLP training... 866

865
00:59:22,245 --> 00:59:24,807
to win over the individual on the photograph in your envelope. 867

866
00:59:24,808 --> 00:59:26,649
And when I say win over... 868

867
00:59:26,650 --> 00:59:28,452
I do mean in the biblical sense. 869

868
00:59:28,453 --> 00:59:29,993
Easy. 870

869
00:59:30,535 --> 00:59:32,737
Posh girls love a bit of rough. 871

870
00:59:32,738 --> 00:59:34,660
We'll see about that, yeah? 872

871
00:59:34,661 --> 00:59:36,981
We certainly will. 873

872
00:59:41,670 --> 00:59:42,830
Hi! 874

873
00:59:42,831 --> 00:59:46,475
Sorry, I just had to come over and say, amazing eyes. 875

874
00:59:46,476 --> 00:59:47,877
Are you wearing colour contacts? 876

875
00:59:47,878 --> 00:59:50,240
- No! - You so are. 877

876
00:59:50,241 --> 00:59:52,803
Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious. 878

877
00:59:52,804 --> 00:59:54,846
I haven't heard anyone try that since the noughties. 879

878
00:59:54,847 --> 00:59:56,128
Excuse me? 880

879
00:59:56,129 --> 00:59:57,169
Negging 881

880
00:59:57,170 --> 01:00:01,295
Saying something negative to a pretty girl in order to undermine her social value. 882

881
01:00:01,296 --> 01:00:03,937
It's supposed to make you want to win his approval. 883

882
01:00:03,938 --> 01:00:07,142
Absurdly basic neuro-linguistic programming technique. 884

883
01:00:07,143 --> 01:00:09,465
Is it just me, or does this champagne taste a little bit funny? 885

884
01:00:09,466 --> 01:00:11,508
- It's an acquired taste, mate. - I think it's just cheap. 886

885
01:00:11,509 --> 01:00:13,510
Get one of these instead. They're delicious. 887

886
01:00:13,511 --> 01:00:16,394
If you're into seduction techniques, this guy is textbook. 888

887
01:00:16,395 --> 01:00:19,318
See what he just did? It's called an opinion opener. 889

888
01:00:19,319 --> 01:00:20,999
He got you talking with a neutral question... 890

889
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,842
got all of us involved in the conversation... 891

890
01:00:22,843 --> 01:00:25,246
so that you craved individual attention. 892

891
01:00:25,247 --> 01:00:26,727
No, I'm just saying the champagne tastes rank. 893

892
01:00:26,728 --> 01:00:28,650
Lady Sophie Montague-Herring. 894

893
01:00:28,651 --> 01:00:30,132
Phone call for you at reception. 895

894
01:00:30,133 --> 01:00:32,014
- Be right back. - We'll see you in a bit, yeah? 896

895
01:00:32,015 --> 01:00:33,536
See you in a bit. 897

896
01:00:33,537 --> 01:00:35,539
Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough. 898

897
01:00:35,540 --> 01:00:37,221
- Are you all right? - No. 899

898
01:00:37,222 --> 01:00:38,423
Sorry to eavesdrop... 900

899
01:00:38,424 --> 01:00:42,188
but there's a much easier way to guarantee getting someone home. 901

900
01:00:42,189 --> 01:00:43,969
Rohypnol. 902

901
01:00:45,913 --> 01:00:48,774
Or even something stronger. 903

902
01:01:05,259 --> 01:01:07,500
Who the fuck are you? 904

903
01:01:07,501 --> 01:01:09,402
Where am I? 905

904
01:01:11,347 --> 01:01:12,667
This knife... 906

905
01:01:12,668 --> 01:01:15,049
can save your life. 907

906
01:01:18,996 --> 01:01:20,397
Fuck! 908

907
01:01:20,398 --> 01:01:23,361
My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. 909

908
01:01:23,362 --> 01:01:25,404
What the fuck is Kingsman? 910

909
01:01:25,405 --> 01:01:27,206
And who's Harry Hart? 911

910
01:01:27,207 --> 01:01:29,209
I don't know who the fuck that is! 912

911
01:01:29,210 --> 01:01:30,170
Shit! 913

912
01:01:30,171 --> 01:01:34,616
Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer! 914

913
01:01:34,617 --> 01:01:35,977
Fuck! 915

914
01:01:35,978 --> 01:01:38,701
Just cut the fucking ropes, please! 916

915
01:01:38,702 --> 01:01:39,902
Hey, Eggsy! 917

916
01:01:39,903 --> 01:01:42,824
Is Kingsman worth dying for? 918

917
01:01:43,468 --> 01:01:45,249
FUCK you! 919

918
01:01:59,169 --> 01:02:00,609
Congratulations. 920

919
01:02:00,610 --> 01:02:02,871
Bloody well done. 921

920
01:02:04,134 --> 01:02:05,896
How did the others do? 922

921
01:02:05,897 --> 01:02:08,220
Roxy passed with flying colours. 923

922
01:02:08,221 --> 01:02:11,442
Charlie's up next. Want to watch? 924

923
01:02:11,905 --> 01:02:14,105
Yeah, all right. 925

924
01:02:15,870 --> 01:02:18,072
Is Kingsman really worth dying for? 926

925
01:02:18,073 --> 01:02:19,594
No, it fucking isn't! 927

926
01:02:19,595 --> 01:02:21,597
Shit, I'll tell you what you want. Please! 928

927
01:02:21,598 --> 01:02:23,038
Chester King is Arthur. 929

928
01:02:23,039 --> 01:02:25,442
Arthur's head of a spy agency. It's called Kingsman. 930

929
01:02:25,443 --> 01:02:27,163
- Get me out of here! - Thank you, Charlie. 931

930
01:02:27,164 --> 01:02:28,646
Much appreciated. 932

931
01:02:28,647 --> 01:02:31,450
Come on! That wasn't the fucking deal! 933

932
01:02:31,451 --> 01:02:32,991
Fuck! 934

933
01:02:40,742 --> 01:02:43,265
I had such high hopes for you. 935

934
01:02:43,266 --> 01:02:45,348
You're a bloody disgrace. 936

935
01:02:45,349 --> 01:02:47,189
Arthur, I'm sorry. 937

936
01:02:47,190 --> 01:02:48,872
At least untie me. 938

937
01:02:48,873 --> 01:02:51,013
Untie yourself. 939

938
01:02:51,877 --> 01:02:54,017
Arthur, please. 940

939
01:02:55,362 --> 01:02:58,084
I'm the fucking son of the... Shit! 941

940
01:02:58,085 --> 01:03:00,165
Anyone? Hello? 942

941
01:03:00,768 --> 01:03:03,611
Galahad, Percival, congratulations. 943

942
01:03:03,612 --> 01:03:06,575
Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. 944

943
01:03:06,576 --> 01:03:10,740
As tradition allows, you now have 24 hours to spend with them. 945

944
01:03:10,741 --> 01:03:14,666
Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. 946

945
01:03:14,667 --> 01:03:16,147
From now on... 947

946
01:03:16,148 --> 01:03:19,609
there are no safety nets, understood? 948

947
01:03:21,476 --> 01:03:23,676
Good. Dismissed. 949

948
01:03:26,322 --> 01:03:28,604
Charlie, time to go home. 950

949
01:03:28,605 --> 01:03:30,366
Fuck you. 951

950
01:03:30,367 --> 01:03:33,768
Fucking dad's gonna hear about this! 952

951
01:03:34,813 --> 01:03:37,313
To pee or not to pee? 953

952
01:03:38,057 --> 01:03:38,977
That was the headline... 954

953
01:03:38,978 --> 01:03:42,302
the day after I defused a dirty bomb in Paris. 955

954
01:03:42,303 --> 01:03:44,143
Germany, 1, England, 5. 956

955
01:03:44,144 --> 01:03:45,426
Missed that game. 957

956
01:03:45,427 --> 01:03:50,088
I was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the Pentagon. 958

957
01:03:53,877 --> 01:03:55,359
My first mission. 959

958
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:58,363
Foiled the assassination of Margaret Thatcher. 960

959
01:03:58,364 --> 01:04:00,124
Not everybody would thank you for that one. 961

960
01:04:00,125 --> 01:04:03,529
The point is, Eggsy, nobody thanked me for any of them. 962

961
01:04:03,530 --> 01:04:07,374
Front page news on all these occasions was celebrity nonsense. 963

962
01:04:07,375 --> 01:04:11,380
Because it's the nature of Kingsman that our achievements remain secret. 964

963
01:04:11,381 --> 01:04:14,904
A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times. 965

964
01:04:14,905 --> 01:04:17,387
When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies. 966

965
01:04:17,388 --> 01:04:20,911
And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen. 967

966
01:04:20,912 --> 01:04:23,234
That's me fucked then. 968

967
01:04:23,235 --> 01:04:25,277
It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb. 969

968
01:04:25,278 --> 01:04:26,479
Nonsense. 970

969
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:29,923
Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one's birth. 971

970
01:04:29,924 --> 01:04:32,527
Being a gentleman is something one learns. 972

971
01:04:32,528 --> 01:04:34,609
Yeah, but how? 973

972
01:04:35,291 --> 01:04:36,692
All right, first lesson. 974

973
01:04:36,693 --> 01:04:39,976
You should've asked me before you took a seat. 975

974
01:04:39,977 --> 01:04:42,139
Second lesson... 976

975
01:04:42,140 --> 01:04:44,463
how to make a proper martini. 977

976
01:04:44,464 --> 01:04:46,364
Yes, Harry. 978

977
01:04:49,149 --> 01:04:52,250
Goddamn it! This fucking hurts! 979

978
01:04:52,674 --> 01:04:55,356
You're the one who asked for a biometric security system. 980

979
01:04:55,357 --> 01:04:56,638
What's wrong with a simple switch? 981

980
01:04:56,639 --> 01:04:57,840
A simple switch? 982

981
01:04:57,841 --> 01:05:01,422
This is an extremely dangerous machine. 983

982
01:05:01,686 --> 01:05:06,410
It should only be operated by someone as responsible and sane as me. 984

983
01:05:06,411 --> 01:05:11,072
Bad shit could happen if this falls into the wrong hands. 985

984
01:05:11,899 --> 01:05:13,740
We done here? Shit! 986

985
01:05:13,741 --> 01:05:16,002
No. Now this one. 987

986
01:05:16,545 --> 01:05:17,745
For the test at the church. 988

987
01:05:17,746 --> 01:05:19,748
This one just has a short range. 989

988
01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:22,430
A simple switch will do. 990

989
01:05:27,278 --> 01:05:30,321
So are you gonna teach me how to talk proper, like in My Fair Lady? 991

990
01:05:30,322 --> 01:05:32,084
Don't be absurd. 992

991
01:05:32,085 --> 01:05:34,768
Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one's accent. 993

992
01:05:34,769 --> 01:05:37,250
It's about being at ease in one's own skin. 994

993
01:05:37,251 --> 01:05:38,973
As Hemingway said, There is nothing noble... 995

994
01:05:38,974 --> 01:05:41,777
in being superior to your fellow man. 996

995
01:05:41,778 --> 01:05:46,139
True nobility is being superior to your former self. 997

996
01:05:48,987 --> 01:05:52,511
Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit. 998

997
01:05:52,512 --> 01:05:55,955
By which I mean, a bespoke suit. Never off-the-peg. 999

998
01:05:55,956 --> 01:05:58,519
And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof. 1000

999
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:01,482
So let's get you measured, and then, whether you get the job or not... 1001

1000
01:06:01,483 --> 01:06:06,008
you'll have a lasting and useful memento of your time at Kingsman. 1002

1001
01:06:06,009 --> 01:06:09,813
I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman is completing his fitting. 1003

1002
01:06:09,814 --> 01:06:12,176
Fitting Room Two is available. 1004

1003
01:06:12,177 --> 01:06:17,262
One does not use Fitting Room Two when one is popping one's cherry. 1005

1004
01:06:17,263 --> 01:06:21,865
Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait. 1006

1005
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:31,882
So we going up or down? 1007

1006
01:06:31,883 --> 01:06:33,663
Neither. 1008

1007
01:06:34,285 --> 01:06:35,486
Is this it? 1009

1008
01:06:35,487 --> 01:06:39,308
Of course not. Pull the hook on your left. 1010

1009
01:06:45,821 --> 01:06:47,061
Oh, yes. 1011

1010
01:06:47,062 --> 01:06:49,323
Very, very nice. 1012

1011
01:06:52,309 --> 01:06:54,952
You're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit. 1013

1012
01:06:54,953 --> 01:06:59,014
An oxford is any formal shoe with open lacing. 1014

1013
01:06:59,278 --> 01:07:02,642
This additional decorative piece is called broguing. 1015

1014
01:07:02,643 --> 01:07:04,003
Oxfords not brogues. 1016

1015
01:07:04,004 --> 01:07:05,846
Words to live by, Eggsy. 1017

1016
01:07:05,847 --> 01:07:08,888
Words to live by. Try a pair. 1018

1017
01:07:09,211 --> 01:07:12,134
Your weapon scores are excellent, by the way. 1019

1018
01:07:12,135 --> 01:07:15,578
These you are familiar with, and this is our standard issue pistol. 1020

1019
01:07:15,579 --> 01:07:17,340
It's quite unique, as you'll see. 1021

1020
01:07:17,341 --> 01:07:20,865
It also fires a shotgun cartridge for use in messy close-range situations. 1022

1021
01:07:20,866 --> 01:07:22,507
- How do they feel? - Yeah, good. 1023

1022
01:07:22,508 --> 01:07:23,989
Now do your very best impersonation... 1024

1023
01:07:23,990 --> 01:07:27,751
of a German aristocrat's formal greeting. 1025

1024
01:07:29,197 --> 01:07:31,097
No, Eggsy. 1026

1025
01:07:34,564 --> 01:07:36,644
That is sick. 1027

1026
01:07:36,847 --> 01:07:38,969
In the old days, they had a phone in the heel as well. 1028

1027
01:07:38,970 --> 01:07:40,210
How do I get it back in? 1029

1028
01:07:40,211 --> 01:07:44,255
Well, it's coated in one of the fastest acting neurotoxins known to man... 1030

1029
01:07:44,256 --> 01:07:46,637
so very carefully. 1031

1030
01:07:47,661 --> 01:07:51,183
Now, I've had a lot of fun with this. 1032

1031
01:07:51,546 --> 01:07:54,750
One of our finest examples of chemical engineering. 1033

1032
01:07:54,751 --> 01:07:57,392
A poison, harmless when ingested... 1034

1033
01:07:57,393 --> 01:07:59,435
but at a time convenient to you... 1035

1034
01:07:59,436 --> 01:08:02,777
can be remotely activated. Primed. 1036

1035
01:08:04,924 --> 01:08:06,644
Lethal. 1037

1036
01:08:07,126 --> 01:08:09,648
What about these? What do these do? 1038

1037
01:08:09,649 --> 01:08:11,772
- Electrocute you? - Don't be ridiculous. 1039

1038
01:08:11,773 --> 01:08:13,774
- It's a hand grenade. - Shut up! 1040

1039
01:08:13,775 --> 01:08:16,257
If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring. 1041

1040
01:08:16,258 --> 01:08:18,500
A gentleman traditionally wears the signet on his left hand. 1042

1041
01:08:18,501 --> 01:08:21,624
But a Kingsman wears it on whichever hand happens to be dominant. 1043

1042
01:08:21,625 --> 01:08:23,146
Touch the contact behind the ring... 1044

1043
01:08:23,147 --> 01:08:25,948
it delivers 50,000 volts. 1045

1044
01:08:26,191 --> 01:08:28,794
And what about them? What makes them so special? 1046

1045
01:08:28,795 --> 01:08:29,995
Nothing. 1047

1046
01:08:29,996 --> 01:08:33,679
That technology has caught up with the spy world. 1048

1047
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:36,121
Put it back, Eggsy. 1049

1048
01:08:37,887 --> 01:08:39,487
Perfect timing. 1050

1049
01:08:39,488 --> 01:08:42,589
The gentleman's just finished. 1051

1050
01:08:46,537 --> 01:08:48,498
Mr. DeVere! 1052

1051
01:08:49,341 --> 01:08:51,663
What a coincidence. 1053

1052
01:08:51,664 --> 01:08:54,748
You are totally the reason I'm here. 1054

1053
01:08:54,749 --> 01:08:56,029
When you left my house... 1055

1054
01:08:56,030 --> 01:08:59,994
I was thirsting for that dope-ass smoking jacket you had on. 1056

1055
01:08:59,995 --> 01:09:01,676
And since I'm going to Royal Ascot... 1057

1056
01:09:01,677 --> 01:09:04,279
and, apparently, you need one of these penguin suits... 1058

1057
01:09:04,280 --> 01:09:06,002
here I am. 1059

1058
01:09:06,003 --> 01:09:07,283
What are you doing here? 1060

1059
01:09:07,284 --> 01:09:08,766
What's up, man? 1061

1060
01:09:08,767 --> 01:09:10,247
Richmond Valentine. 1062

1061
01:09:10,248 --> 01:09:13,411
This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor. 1063

1062
01:09:13,412 --> 01:09:16,453
Another coincidence. So am I. 1064

1063
01:09:16,616 --> 01:09:18,899
Have you had any chance to think further on my proposal? 1065

1064
01:09:18,900 --> 01:09:20,100
Most definitely. 1066

1065
01:09:20,101 --> 01:09:23,264
My people will be getting in touch with you very soon. 1067

1066
01:09:23,265 --> 01:09:25,427
I guarantee it. 1068

1067
01:09:25,428 --> 01:09:27,109
A word of advice. 1069

1068
01:09:27,110 --> 01:09:29,791
Ascot requires top hat. 1070

1069
01:09:30,314 --> 01:09:33,835
I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters. 1071

1070
01:09:34,279 --> 01:09:35,520
Saint James's. 1072

1071
01:09:35,521 --> 01:09:37,082
Lox as in smoked fish? 1073

1072
01:09:37,083 --> 01:09:39,404
As in, locked up. 1074

1073
01:09:42,690 --> 01:09:46,214
I have trouble understanding you people sometimes. 1075

1074
01:09:46,215 --> 01:09:48,836
You all talk so funny. 1076

1075
01:09:55,307 --> 01:09:59,248
Gentlemen, would you look after him, please? 1077

1076
01:10:10,927 --> 01:10:12,368
Now this... 1078

1077
01:10:12,369 --> 01:10:14,990
is a dope-ass top hat. 1079

1078
01:10:15,934 --> 01:10:18,855
Gazelle, let's go ascoting. 1080

1079
01:10:20,739 --> 01:10:22,101
Your hat looks fine, Gazelle. 1081

1080
01:10:22,102 --> 01:10:25,705
Come on! Don't make me late for the queen. 1082

1081
01:10:25,706 --> 01:10:28,549
Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late. 1083

1082
01:10:28,550 --> 01:10:30,551
How far is Ascot? 1084

1083
01:10:30,552 --> 01:10:32,333
How far? 1085

1084
01:10:35,799 --> 01:10:37,600
Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir? 1086

1085
01:10:37,601 --> 01:10:39,442
Sit down. 1087

1086
01:10:44,330 --> 01:10:46,012
Pretty dog. 1088

1087
01:10:46,013 --> 01:10:47,453
What's his name? 1089

1088
01:10:47,454 --> 01:10:48,615
J.B. 1090

1089
01:10:48,616 --> 01:10:51,098
- As in James Bond? - No. 1091

1090
01:10:51,099 --> 01:10:52,780
Jason Bourne? 1092

1091
01:10:52,781 --> 01:10:54,982
No. Jack Bauer. 1093

1092
01:10:55,105 --> 01:10:56,585
Oh! 1094

1093
01:10:56,826 --> 01:10:58,468
Bravo. 1095

1094
01:10:58,469 --> 01:10:59,789
It pains me to admit it... 1096

1095
01:10:59,790 --> 01:11:02,833
but I think that one day, you might be as good a spy... 1097

1096
01:11:02,834 --> 01:11:05,035
as any of them. 1098

1097
01:11:11,366 --> 01:11:13,146
Take it. 1099

1098
01:11:19,856 --> 01:11:21,997
Shoot the dog. 1100

1099
01:11:27,907 --> 01:11:30,407
This weapon is live. 1101

1100
01:11:32,393 --> 01:11:34,533
Shoot the dog. 1102

1101
01:12:12,125 --> 01:12:14,385
Give me the gun. 1103

1102
01:12:24,500 --> 01:12:27,601
At least the girl's got balls. 1104

1103
01:12:29,867 --> 01:12:31,549
Get out. 1105

1104
01:12:31,550 --> 01:12:34,530
I knew you couldn't make it. 1106

1105
01:12:36,836 --> 01:12:38,617
Go home. 1107

1106
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,721
Merlin, send in Roxy, please. 1108

1107
01:13:06,315 --> 01:13:08,936
Welcome to Kingsman... 1109

1108
01:13:10,280 --> 01:13:12,121
Lancelot. 1110

1109
01:13:34,792 --> 01:13:36,233
Mum! 1111

1110
01:13:36,234 --> 01:13:37,554
Eggsy! 1112

1111
01:13:37,555 --> 01:13:39,036
Oh, God. Where have you been? 1113

1112
01:13:39,037 --> 01:13:42,198
I've been so worried about you. 1114

1113
01:13:43,002 --> 01:13:46,643
Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown! 1115

1114
01:13:52,054 --> 01:13:54,256
- Where is he? - I'm fine. 1116

1115
01:13:54,257 --> 01:13:56,098
Eggsy, please, just don't get involved. 1117

1116
01:13:56,099 --> 01:13:57,940
I should never have left you on your own. 1118

1117
01:13:57,941 --> 01:14:00,502
This stops right now. 1119

1118
01:14:00,545 --> 01:14:01,786
I'll be right back. 1120

1119
01:14:01,787 --> 01:14:03,447
Eggsy. 1121

1120
01:14:05,752 --> 01:14:07,592
Oi, Dean! 1122

1121
01:14:08,075 --> 01:14:10,076
Mugsy, so you're back. 1123

1122
01:14:10,077 --> 01:14:12,159
What, you gone and nicked a fucking taxi, now? 1124

1123
01:14:12,160 --> 01:14:13,721
Yeah. 1125

1124
01:14:13,722 --> 01:14:16,765
Can I have a word about my mum's black eye? 1126

1125
01:14:16,766 --> 01:14:18,648
You want to have a word with me, you get out of that cab... 1127

1126
01:14:18,649 --> 01:14:22,573
I'll knock you straight back down on your fucking arse. 1128

1127
01:14:22,574 --> 01:14:26,858
Tell your muppets to go inside, then I'll get out. 1129

1128
01:14:26,859 --> 01:14:28,941
Go on, lads. It'll be two hits. 1130

1129
01:14:28,942 --> 01:14:31,465
Me hitting him, him hitting the floor. 1131

1130
01:14:31,466 --> 01:14:33,987
Come on, then, you prick. 1132

1131
01:14:33,988 --> 01:14:36,030
Let's see what you got. Want a bit of me? 1133

1132
01:14:36,031 --> 01:14:36,991
What are you doing? 1134

1133
01:14:36,992 --> 01:14:38,033
No, no, no! 1135

1134
01:14:38,034 --> 01:14:38,994
Get out of the fucking car! 1136

1135
01:14:38,995 --> 01:14:41,036
What are you doing? Where you going, you mug? 1137

1136
01:14:41,037 --> 01:14:43,119
Go on, you got no bollocks! 1138

1137
01:14:43,120 --> 01:14:45,283
Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum! 1139

1138
01:14:45,284 --> 01:14:46,844
Come back when you've grown a pair! 1140

1139
01:14:46,845 --> 01:14:48,506
Mugsy! 1141

1140
01:15:10,636 --> 01:15:11,837
You throw away... 1142

1141
01:15:11,838 --> 01:15:15,779
your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog. 1143

1142
01:15:16,804 --> 01:15:19,367
And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss's car. 1144

1143
01:15:19,368 --> 01:15:21,890
You shot a dog just to get a fucking job. 1145

1144
01:15:21,891 --> 01:15:23,851
Yes, I did. 1146

1145
01:15:25,896 --> 01:15:31,037
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit! 1147

1146
01:15:31,384 --> 01:15:34,025
You shot your dog and had it stuffed? 1148

1147
01:15:34,026 --> 01:15:35,428
You fucking freak. 1149

1148
01:15:35,429 --> 01:15:36,949
No, I shot my dog... 1150

1149
01:15:36,950 --> 01:15:38,792
and then I brought him home and continued to care for him... 1151

1150
01:15:38,793 --> 01:15:41,956
for the next 11 years until he died of pancreatitis. 1152

1151
01:15:41,957 --> 01:15:45,178
- What? - It was a blank, Eggsy. 1153

1152
01:15:45,762 --> 01:15:48,244
It was a fucking blank. 1154

1153
01:15:48,245 --> 01:15:49,766
Remember Amelia? 1155

1154
01:15:49,767 --> 01:15:50,687
Yeah. 1156

1155
01:15:50,688 --> 01:15:52,009
She didn't drown. 1157

1156
01:15:52,010 --> 01:15:54,933
She works in our tech department in Berlin. She's fine. 1158

1157
01:15:54,934 --> 01:15:56,294
Limits must be tested... 1159

1158
01:15:56,295 --> 01:15:59,098
a Kingsman only condones the risking of a life to save another. 1160

1159
01:15:59,099 --> 01:16:02,222
Like my dad saved your life even though your fuck-up cost his. 1161

1160
01:16:02,223 --> 01:16:05,947
Or have you got him stuffed here and all? 1162

1161
01:16:05,948 --> 01:16:11,750
Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1163

1162
01:16:14,840 --> 01:16:16,681
Harry, listen to this. 1164

1163
01:16:16,682 --> 01:16:18,844
Valentine is at last saying something of note. 1165

1164
01:16:18,845 --> 01:16:21,608
Do you know what I love about pen and paper? 1166

1165
01:16:21,609 --> 01:16:24,531
Nobody can hack into this shit. 1167

1166
01:16:24,532 --> 01:16:28,056
Our worldwide tour was a complete success. 1168

1167
01:16:28,057 --> 01:16:30,659
We have total coverall. 1169

1168
01:16:30,660 --> 01:16:33,623
Like when all your numbers in bingo are crossed out. 1170

1169
01:16:33,624 --> 01:16:34,664
Bingo? 1171

1170
01:16:34,666 --> 01:16:38,727
Bingo, the game. You have played bingo, right? 1172

1171
01:16:38,951 --> 01:16:41,932
Do I look like I play bingo? 1173

1172
01:16:42,956 --> 01:16:44,637
Point is... 1174

1173
01:16:44,638 --> 01:16:49,283
if our tests go well at the church tomorrow, we are good to go. 1175

1174
01:16:49,284 --> 01:16:52,205
South Glade Mission Church. 1176

1175
01:16:52,729 --> 01:16:55,051
- Merlin, get the plane ready. - Will do. 1177

1176
01:16:55,052 --> 01:16:56,853
Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna do whatever... 1178

1177
01:16:56,854 --> 01:16:58,015
You should be. 1179

1178
01:16:58,016 --> 01:17:03,337
You just stay right there. I'll sort this mess out when I get back. 1180

1179
01:17:06,827 --> 01:17:08,709
And I say to you... 1181

1180
01:17:08,710 --> 01:17:10,150
bear witness! 1182

1181
01:17:10,151 --> 01:17:12,874
Watch the news. Watch the news. 1183

1182
01:17:12,875 --> 01:17:14,475
AIDS! 1184

1183
01:17:14,637 --> 01:17:15,638
Floods! 1185

1184
01:17:15,639 --> 01:17:17,960
The blood of the innocent, spilled! 1186

1185
01:17:17,961 --> 01:17:22,863
And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of God. 1187

1186
01:17:24,971 --> 01:17:29,692
Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion! 1188

1187
01:17:31,820 --> 01:17:34,502
And yet, some still doubt... 1189

1188
01:17:34,503 --> 01:17:37,904
this is the work of the antichrist! 1190

1189
01:17:38,589 --> 01:17:42,830
You do not have to be a Jew, a nigger, a whore... 1191

1190
01:17:43,635 --> 01:17:46,718
or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter... 1192

1191
01:17:46,719 --> 01:17:48,360
Charming sermon. 1193

1192
01:17:48,361 --> 01:17:50,202
Can you see Valentine anywhere? 1194

1193
01:17:50,203 --> 01:17:51,765
So, my friends... 1195

1194
01:17:51,766 --> 01:17:54,969
although he is a just God, he is justly a vengeful one... 1196

1195
01:17:54,970 --> 01:17:58,133
and there can be no turning back... 1197

1196
01:17:58,134 --> 01:17:59,895
from the almighty wrath... 1198

1197
01:17:59,896 --> 01:18:01,618
Are you sure we're out of range? 1199

1198
01:18:01,619 --> 01:18:03,339
We're over 1,000 feet away. What's wrong? 1200

1199
01:18:03,340 --> 01:18:04,742
What if the calculations are wrong? 1201

1200
01:18:04,743 --> 01:18:07,545
You just have to trust me. 1202

1201
01:18:07,546 --> 01:18:12,191
...Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and the devil is burning them... 1203

1202
01:18:12,192 --> 01:18:13,673
for all eternity. 1204

1203
01:18:13,674 --> 01:18:15,836
Would you excuse me? 1205

1204
01:18:15,837 --> 01:18:17,477
Where are you going? 1206

1205
01:18:17,478 --> 01:18:20,279
Hey! What's your problem? 1207

1206
01:18:20,883 --> 01:18:22,484
I'm a Catholic whore... 1208

1207
01:18:22,485 --> 01:18:26,209
currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend... 1209

1208
01:18:26,210 --> 01:18:29,373
who works in a military abortion clinic. 1210

1209
01:18:29,374 --> 01:18:31,015
So, hail Satan... 1211

1210
01:18:31,016 --> 01:18:34,417
and have a lovely afternoon, madam. 1212

1211
01:18:36,263 --> 01:18:37,824
Oh, shit. He's leaving. 1213

1212
01:18:37,825 --> 01:18:39,867
I'm starting the test now. 1214

1213
01:18:39,868 --> 01:18:44,349
Let's hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards. 1215

1214
01:18:44,755 --> 01:18:47,797
I kindly ask you to sit down, my friend! 1216

1215
01:18:47,798 --> 01:18:49,039
Just leave this church! 1217

1216
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:53,461
You just leave this church like the infidel you are! 1218

1217
01:18:53,966 --> 01:18:57,329
Satan cannot save you now! You will eat your babies. 1219

1218
01:18:57,330 --> 01:19:01,014
You will drown in the blood of the Lord! 1220

1219
01:19:01,015 --> 01:19:03,576
He will not save you! 1221

1220
01:19:08,706 --> 01:19:10,606
Holy fuck! 1222

1221
01:19:11,469 --> 01:19:15,170
Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here. 1223

1222
01:19:55,887 --> 01:19:57,847
Jeez! Fuck. 1224

1223
01:19:58,570 --> 01:20:01,092
Galahad, can you hear me? 1225

1224
01:20:01,093 --> 01:20:02,494
Harry! 1226

1225
01:20:02,495 --> 01:20:05,776
Harry, what the heck is going on? 1227

1226
01:20:06,020 --> 01:20:08,823
Could you turn the volume down, please? 1228

1227
01:20:08,824 --> 01:20:10,945
I didn't expect it to be that effective. 1229

1228
01:20:10,946 --> 01:20:12,988
What kind of response are we talking? 1230

1229
01:20:12,989 --> 01:20:15,010
100 percent. 1231

1230
01:20:15,112 --> 01:20:18,515
So, everyone's been affected, whether they have a SIM card or not. 1232

1231
01:20:18,516 --> 01:20:21,318
And we get the added benefit of wiping out the Kingsman. 1233

1232
01:20:21,319 --> 01:20:23,100
Not yet. 1234

1233
01:21:18,194 --> 01:21:20,754
You need to see this. 1235

1234
01:23:16,707 --> 01:23:18,909
What did you do to me? 1236

1235
01:23:18,910 --> 01:23:21,230
I had no control. 1237

1236
01:23:21,874 --> 01:23:24,734
I killed all those people. 1238

1237
01:23:25,279 --> 01:23:26,679
I wanted to. 1239

1238
01:23:26,680 --> 01:23:27,920
Clever, isn't it? 1240

1239
01:23:27,921 --> 01:23:30,804
In simple terms, it's a neurological wave... 1241

1240
01:23:30,805 --> 01:23:32,527
that triggers the centres of aggression... 1242

1241
01:23:32,528 --> 01:23:34,769
and switches off inhibitors. 1243

1242
01:23:34,770 --> 01:23:39,492
Transmitted through your nasty, free SIM cards, I assume. 1244

1243
01:23:40,938 --> 01:23:43,021
Do you know what this is like? 1245

1244
01:23:43,022 --> 01:23:46,465
It's like those old movies we both love. 1246

1245
01:23:46,466 --> 01:23:49,709
Now, I'm going to tell you my whole plan... 1247

1246
01:23:49,710 --> 01:23:53,154
and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you... 1248

1247
01:23:53,155 --> 01:23:56,838
and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape. 1249

1248
01:23:56,839 --> 01:23:59,082
Sounds good to me. 1250

1249
01:23:59,083 --> 01:24:02,544
Well, this ain't that kind of movie. 1251

1250
01:24:04,850 --> 01:24:06,330
No! 1252

1251
01:24:15,504 --> 01:24:17,345
Is he dead? 1253

1252
01:24:17,346 --> 01:24:20,028
That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head. 1254

1253
01:24:20,029 --> 01:24:21,631
It feels good, right? 1255

1254
01:24:21,632 --> 01:24:23,873
No, no, it does not feel good. It feels fucking awful. 1256

1255
01:24:23,874 --> 01:24:26,357
What? You just killed how many people in that church? 1257

1256
01:24:26,358 --> 01:24:27,478
This is one guy. 1258

1257
01:24:27,479 --> 01:24:30,640
No, no, they killed each other. 1259

1258
01:24:32,366 --> 01:24:34,447
Okay, send out the countdown clock. 1260

1259
01:24:34,448 --> 01:24:37,369
This party starts tomorrow. 1261

1260
01:25:11,817 --> 01:25:13,537
Arthur? 1262

1261
01:25:15,342 --> 01:25:17,143
Are you there? 1263

1262
01:25:17,144 --> 01:25:19,165
Sadly, I am. 1264

1263
01:25:19,667 --> 01:25:22,288
Assemble the Kingsmen. 1265

1264
01:25:26,916 --> 01:25:32,718
Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1266

1265
01:25:51,549 --> 01:25:54,711
I see a young man with potential... 1267

1266
01:25:54,712 --> 01:25:58,714
who wants to do something good with his life. 1268

1267
01:26:14,097 --> 01:26:16,658
Arthur, Harry's dead. 1269

1268
01:26:17,101 --> 01:26:19,362
Galahad is dead. 1270

1269
01:26:19,705 --> 01:26:22,788
Hence, we have just drunk a toast to him. 1271

1270
01:26:22,789 --> 01:26:25,472
Well, then you know what that psycho's doing. 1272

1271
01:26:25,473 --> 01:26:28,276
How many people around the world have got those SIM cards? 1273

1272
01:26:28,277 --> 01:26:30,838
Valentine can send his signal to any of them, all of them. 1274

1273
01:26:30,839 --> 01:26:33,041
If they all go homicidal at the same time then... 1275

1274
01:26:33,042 --> 01:26:35,525
Indeed, and thanks to Galahad's recordings... 1276

1275
01:26:35,526 --> 01:26:38,329
we have Valentine's confession. 1277

1276
01:26:38,330 --> 01:26:41,853
The intelligence has been passed on to the relevant authorities. 1278

1277
01:26:41,854 --> 01:26:43,375
Our work is complete... 1279

1278
01:26:43,376 --> 01:26:48,638
and a most distinguished legacy for our fallen friend, it is, too. 1280

1279
01:26:48,663 --> 01:26:50,803
And that's it? 1281

1280
01:26:51,025 --> 01:26:53,466
Come sit down, boy. 1282

1281
01:26:55,552 --> 01:26:58,893
This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy. 1283

1282
01:27:01,600 --> 01:27:05,524
And we only drink it when we lose a Kingsman. 1284

1283
01:27:05,525 --> 01:27:08,566
Galahad was very fond of you. 1285

1284
01:27:10,731 --> 01:27:13,294
And on this occasion... 1286

1285
01:27:13,295 --> 01:27:18,076
I think it's acceptable for us to bend the rules a little. 1287

1286
01:27:19,062 --> 01:27:20,423
Are these all Kingsmen? 1288

1287
01:27:20,424 --> 01:27:23,465
Yes, they're founder members. 1289

1288
01:27:24,108 --> 01:27:27,389
I want you to join me in a toast. 1290

1289
01:27:28,435 --> 01:27:30,395
To Galahad. 1291

1290
01:27:31,438 --> 01:27:33,399
To Galahad. 1292

1291
01:27:37,486 --> 01:27:40,609
Harry says you don't like to break rules, Arthur. 1293

1292
01:27:40,610 --> 01:27:41,891
Why now? 1294

1293
01:27:41,892 --> 01:27:43,292
You're very good, Eggsy. 1295

1294
01:27:43,293 --> 01:27:47,818
Perhaps I will make you my proposal for Galahad's position. 1296

1295
01:27:47,819 --> 01:27:50,702
Provided, of course, that we can see eye to eye... 1297

1296
01:27:50,703 --> 01:27:53,744
on certain political matters. 1298

1297
01:27:55,670 --> 01:27:57,930
Can you guess... 1299

1298
01:27:58,313 --> 01:28:00,074
what this is? 1300

1299
01:28:00,075 --> 01:28:01,917
I don't have to. Harry showed me. 1301

1300
01:28:01,918 --> 01:28:03,599
You click it. I die. 1302

1301
01:28:03,600 --> 01:28:07,301
I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit. 1303

1302
01:28:07,365 --> 01:28:08,686
Bravo. 1304

1303
01:28:08,687 --> 01:28:11,908
Valentine won you over, somehow. 1305

1304
01:28:12,011 --> 01:28:15,054
Once he explained, I understood. 1306

1305
01:28:15,055 --> 01:28:16,576
When you get a virus... 1307

1306
01:28:16,577 --> 01:28:17,937
you get a fever. 1308

1307
01:28:17,938 --> 01:28:22,143
That's the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. 1309

1308
01:28:22,144 --> 01:28:24,546
Planet Earth works the same way. 1310

1309
01:28:24,547 --> 01:28:26,629
Global warming is the fever. 1311

1310
01:28:26,630 --> 01:28:29,191
Mankind is the virus. 1312

1311
01:28:29,594 --> 01:28:32,156
We're making our planet sick. 1313

1312
01:28:32,157 --> 01:28:34,898
A cull is our only hope. 1314

1313
01:28:34,921 --> 01:28:37,322
If we don't reduce our population ourselves... 1315

1314
01:28:37,323 --> 01:28:40,086
there is only one of two ways this can go. 1316

1315
01:28:40,087 --> 01:28:44,628
The host kills the virus, or the virus kills the host. 1317

1316
01:28:44,653 --> 01:28:46,575
Either way... 1318

1317
01:28:46,576 --> 01:28:48,337
The result is the same. 1319

1318
01:28:48,338 --> 01:28:50,538
The virus dies. 1320

1319
01:28:51,021 --> 01:28:54,625
So Valentine's gonna take care of the population problem himself. 1321

1320
01:28:54,626 --> 01:28:57,308
Well, if we don't do something, nature will. 1322

1321
01:28:57,309 --> 01:29:02,355
Sometimes a culling is the only way to ensure that this species survives... 1323

1322
01:29:02,356 --> 01:29:04,638
and history will see Valentine... 1324

1323
01:29:04,639 --> 01:29:07,482
as the man who saved humanity from extinction. 1325

1324
01:29:07,483 --> 01:29:11,006
And he gets to pick and choose who gets culled, does he? 1326

1325
01:29:11,007 --> 01:29:12,368
All his rich mates, they get to live... 1327

1326
01:29:12,369 --> 01:29:15,052
and anyone he thinks is worth saving, he's keeping them safe... 1328

1327
01:29:15,053 --> 01:29:17,174
whether they agree with him or not. 1329

1328
01:29:17,175 --> 01:29:19,436
And you, 599$'!- 1330

1329
01:29:19,899 --> 01:29:22,021
In Harry's honour... 1331

1330
01:29:22,022 --> 01:29:25,963
I am inviting you to be part of a new world. 1332

1331
01:29:28,791 --> 01:29:32,012
It's time to make your decision. 1333

1332
01:29:37,962 --> 01:29:40,565
I'd rather be with Harry. 1334

1333
01:29:40,566 --> 01:29:42,247
Thanks. 1335

1334
01:29:42,248 --> 01:29:44,088
So be it. 1336

1335
01:29:59,951 --> 01:30:03,352
The problem with us common types... 1337

1336
01:30:03,355 --> 01:30:06,158
is that we're light-fingered. 1338

1337
01:30:06,159 --> 01:30:08,040
Kingsman's taught me a lot... 1339

1338
01:30:08,041 --> 01:30:09,963
but sleight of hand... 1340

1339
01:30:09,964 --> 01:30:13,005
Yes, they're founder members. 1341

1340
01:30:14,369 --> 01:30:17,110
I had that down already. 1342

1341
01:30:17,974 --> 01:30:20,895
You dirty little fucking... 1343

1342
01:30:21,740 --> 01:30:23,400
prick. 1344

1343
01:30:57,505 --> 01:31:00,428
It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down. 1345

1344
01:31:00,429 --> 01:31:02,570
It's verified. 1346

1345
01:31:04,354 --> 01:31:07,077
Arthur's phone is receiving update texts about getting to safety. 1347

1346
01:31:07,078 --> 01:31:09,000
- We don't have a lot of time. - What are you going to do? 1348

1347
01:31:09,001 --> 01:31:11,322
The question is, what are we going to do? 1349

1348
01:31:11,323 --> 01:31:14,687
God knows who's in Valentine's pocket and who's not. 1350

1349
01:31:14,688 --> 01:31:17,069
We have no choice. 1351

1350
01:31:17,291 --> 01:31:21,352
We are gonna have to deal with this ourselves. 1352

1351
01:31:22,819 --> 01:31:24,719
Follow me. 1353

1352
01:31:43,045 --> 01:31:44,525
What the fuck is this? 1354

1353
01:31:44,526 --> 01:31:46,727
I have no idea. 1355

1354
01:31:47,370 --> 01:31:48,692
What you're playing with... 1356

1355
01:31:48,693 --> 01:31:51,574
is a prototype personal transatmospheric vehicle. 1357

1356
01:31:51,575 --> 01:31:54,018
It was developed as part of Reagan's Star Wars project. 1358

1357
01:31:54,019 --> 01:31:57,222
It's pretty basic, but it should still work. 1359

1358
01:31:57,223 --> 01:31:59,986
We're gonna take out one of Valentine's satellites. 1360

1359
01:31:59,987 --> 01:32:02,589
We're gonna break the chain, stop the signal. 1361

1360
01:32:02,590 --> 01:32:04,953
It'll take him a couple of hours to reroute it... 1362

1361
01:32:04,954 --> 01:32:09,478
which buys us enough time for you to get me into Valentine's mainframe... 1363

1362
01:32:09,479 --> 01:32:11,440
so I can shut it down. 1364

1363
01:32:11,441 --> 01:32:13,924
Lancelot, you're going to be using it. 1365

1364
01:32:13,925 --> 01:32:16,666
Get into your halo suit. 1366

1365
01:32:27,943 --> 01:32:32,485
Swedish Prime Minister, requesting permission to land. 1367

1366
01:32:35,713 --> 01:32:38,153
Permission granted. 1368

1367
01:32:41,080 --> 01:32:43,701
- Please. - Thank you. 1369

1368
01:32:43,723 --> 01:32:46,006
- How many more are we expecting? - Not many. 1370

1369
01:32:46,007 --> 01:32:47,487
Most have their own bunkers. 1371

1370
01:32:47,488 --> 01:32:51,092
I figure we're just getting the really nervous ones. 1372

1371
01:32:51,093 --> 01:32:53,834
Welcome, Prime Minister. 1373

1372
01:32:54,377 --> 01:32:57,500
It seems the implant can emit some kind of counter signal... 1374

1373
01:32:57,501 --> 01:33:01,345
to ensure the wearer remains unaffected by the waves from the SIM cards. 1375

1374
01:33:01,346 --> 01:33:03,588
The waves that turn everyone into a psycho killer. 1376

1375
01:33:03,589 --> 01:33:06,272
Quite. But what he probably didn't tell anyone... 1377

1376
01:33:06,273 --> 01:33:10,717
is it can also super heat their soft tissue at his command. 1378

1377
01:33:10,718 --> 01:33:15,044
Valentine selected his chosen few to get the countdown warning... 1379

1378
01:33:15,045 --> 01:33:18,047
but he had to be sure they didn't blab to the wrong people beforehand. 1380

1379
01:33:18,048 --> 01:33:20,730
How does this help us right now? 1381

1380
01:33:20,731 --> 01:33:22,133
It doesn't. 1382

1381
01:33:22,134 --> 01:33:24,454
Roxy, here we go! 1383

1382
01:33:36,432 --> 01:33:40,196
The higher you go, the more the balloons expand. 1384

1383
01:33:40,197 --> 01:33:42,199
When you reach the edge of the atmosphere... 1385

1384
01:33:42,200 --> 01:33:44,460
they'll explode. 1386

1385
01:33:44,482 --> 01:33:46,684
You'll need to deploy your missile just before that, okay? 1387

1386
01:33:46,685 --> 01:33:48,166
Edge of the atmosphere. 1388

1387
01:33:48,167 --> 01:33:52,492
And once you've deployed, you'll need to release for descent, fast. 1389

1388
01:33:52,493 --> 01:33:54,393
Good luck. 1390

1389
01:33:56,058 --> 01:33:58,219
- You can do this, okay? - Yeah. 1391

1390
01:33:58,220 --> 01:34:01,862
Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend. 1392

1391
01:34:23,533 --> 01:34:25,735
You're getting in on Arthur's invitation. 1393

1392
01:34:25,736 --> 01:34:27,097
You're gonna need to blend in. 1394

1393
01:34:27,098 --> 01:34:28,379
I'm supposed to be Arthur? 1395

1394
01:34:28,380 --> 01:34:31,582
His invitation is in his phone. You give them this. 1396

1395
01:34:31,583 --> 01:34:34,226
- Give his real name, Chester King. - What about you? 1397

1396
01:34:34,227 --> 01:34:36,749
I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here. 1398

1397
01:34:36,750 --> 01:34:37,991
Is that gonna fit me? 1399

1398
01:34:37,992 --> 01:34:40,674
A bespoke suit always fits. 1400

1399
01:34:40,675 --> 01:34:43,438
Just be grateful Harry had it made for you. 1401

1400
01:34:43,439 --> 01:34:45,460
Get dressed. 1402

1401
01:34:45,882 --> 01:34:47,283
What the fuck's wrong with them? 1403

1402
01:34:47,284 --> 01:34:50,207
I don't know. Could have something to do with the mass genocide. 1404

1403
01:34:50,208 --> 01:34:52,469
Give me the mic. 1405

1404
01:34:53,932 --> 01:34:55,653
Hey-oh! 1406

1405
01:34:55,655 --> 01:34:58,738
Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello! 1407

1406
01:34:58,739 --> 01:35:01,141
What the fuck is wrong with you people? 1408

1407
01:35:01,142 --> 01:35:04,145
I just wanna remind you that today... 1409

1408
01:35:04,146 --> 01:35:06,887
is a day of celebration. 1410

1409
01:35:07,550 --> 01:35:11,234
We must put aside all thoughts of death... 1411

1410
01:35:11,235 --> 01:35:13,676
and focus on birth. 1412

1411
01:35:14,199 --> 01:35:16,880
The birth of a new age. 1413

1412
01:35:17,843 --> 01:35:22,145
We mustn't mourn those who give their lives today. 1414

1413
01:35:22,970 --> 01:35:25,093
We should honour their sacrifice... 1415

1414
01:35:25,094 --> 01:35:27,295
Has she got my number to call me back? I got a new phone. 1416

1415
01:35:27,296 --> 01:35:31,237
...and their roles in saving the human race. 1417

1416
01:35:32,863 --> 01:35:36,204
We must put aside doubt and guilt. 1418

1417
01:35:37,949 --> 01:35:40,810
You are the chosen people. 1419

1418
01:35:43,157 --> 01:35:46,760
When folks tell their kids the story of Noah's Ark... 1420

1419
01:35:46,761 --> 01:35:47,921
is Noah the bad guy? 1421

1420
01:35:47,922 --> 01:35:48,723
No! 1422

1421
01:35:48,724 --> 01:35:50,925
Is God the bad guy? 1423

1422
01:35:50,926 --> 01:35:51,767
No! 1424

1423
01:35:51,768 --> 01:35:54,330
How about the animals marching two by two? 1425

1424
01:35:54,331 --> 01:35:55,292
No! 1426

1425
01:35:55,293 --> 01:35:57,214
Of course not! 1427

1426
01:35:57,215 --> 01:35:58,736
Yeah, that's it! 1428

1427
01:35:58,737 --> 01:36:02,198
Let's turn those frowns upside down. 1429

1428
01:36:02,702 --> 01:36:04,703
Eat, drink... 1430

1429
01:36:04,704 --> 01:36:06,605
and party! 1431

1430
01:36:09,431 --> 01:36:13,012
And I will see you all in the new age. 1432

1431
01:36:37,227 --> 01:36:39,308
Rox, it's me. 1433

1432
01:36:39,870 --> 01:36:42,071
How's the view? 1434

1433
01:36:44,035 --> 01:36:46,278
- Hideous - Mine's pretty sweet. 1435

1434
01:36:46,279 --> 01:36:49,402
- They made you one of these suits yet? - No, not yet. 1436

1435
01:36:49,403 --> 01:36:51,885
You've got something to look forward to then. 1437

1436
01:36:51,886 --> 01:36:55,930
We're coming up on Valentine's base. Gotta go. 1438

1437
01:36:55,931 --> 01:36:57,831
Good luck. 1439

1438
01:37:04,902 --> 01:37:07,403
Looking good, Eggsy. 1440

1439
01:37:08,588 --> 01:37:11,148
Feeling good, Merlin. 1441

1440
01:37:16,598 --> 01:37:18,359
This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo... 1442

1441
01:37:18,360 --> 01:37:21,461
requesting permission to land. 1443

1442
01:37:23,807 --> 01:37:26,428
Permission is granted. 1444

1443
01:37:30,015 --> 01:37:31,796
Fuck me. 1445

1444
01:37:59,053 --> 01:38:01,373
599331, we're on. 1446

1445
01:38:16,236 --> 01:38:18,237
Chester King. 1447

1446
01:38:18,238 --> 01:38:20,600
Mr. King, welcome. 1448

1447
01:38:20,601 --> 01:38:24,565
I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's strict no-weapons policy... 1449

1448
01:38:24,566 --> 01:38:26,047
- but if you don't object... - Of course. 1450

1449
01:38:26,048 --> 01:38:27,769
Thank you. 1451

1450
01:38:27,770 --> 01:38:30,511
Do you have any luggage? 1452

1451
01:38:30,894 --> 01:38:34,938
Congratulations, Mycroft, you just graduated from my pilot to my valet. 1453

1452
01:38:34,939 --> 01:38:37,582
- You cheeky... - Understood? 1454

1453
01:38:37,583 --> 01:38:39,184
Good. 1455

1454
01:38:40,146 --> 01:38:42,047
Thank you. 1456

1455
01:39:07,061 --> 01:39:11,843
Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online. The clock is ticking. 1457

1456
01:39:12,869 --> 01:39:15,752
And remember, try to blend in. 1458

1457
01:39:15,753 --> 01:39:18,355
Would sir care for a drink? 1459

1458
01:39:18,356 --> 01:39:19,717
Martini. 1460

1459
01:39:19,718 --> 01:39:22,080
Gin, not vodka, obviously. 1461

1460
01:39:22,081 --> 01:39:26,406
Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. 1462

1461
01:39:26,407 --> 01:39:28,307
Thank you. 1463

1462
01:39:30,412 --> 01:39:32,414
Merlin, are you clocking this? 1464

1463
01:39:32,415 --> 01:39:35,097
Yes, I am. Stay focused. 1465

1464
01:39:35,098 --> 01:39:37,980
Lancelot, you're doing great. Not much further to go. 1466

1465
01:39:37,981 --> 01:39:40,002
Yes, Merlin. 1467

1466
01:39:40,625 --> 01:39:43,426
Eggsy, get me online now. 1468

1467
01:39:43,829 --> 01:39:45,991
Yep, I'm on it. 1469

1468
01:39:45,992 --> 01:39:48,475
Lancelot, you're approaching your altitude limit. 1470

1469
01:39:48,476 --> 01:39:51,117
Those balloons won't last much longer. 1471

1470
01:39:51,118 --> 01:39:53,979
Prepare to engage missile. 1472

1471
01:40:08,502 --> 01:40:10,182
Society's dead. 1473

1472
01:40:10,183 --> 01:40:12,564
Long live society. 1474

1473
01:40:13,027 --> 01:40:15,108
Amen to that. 1475

1474
01:40:15,831 --> 01:40:18,192
- I'm Morten Lindstrom. - Chester King. 1476

1475
01:40:18,193 --> 01:40:19,915
How'd you get online? I couldn't. 1477

1476
01:40:19,916 --> 01:40:25,057
It's a closed network, you see. Pre-authorised connections only. 1478

1477
01:40:27,085 --> 01:40:28,567
I've got a fix on the satellite. 1479

1478
01:40:28,568 --> 01:40:29,848
Do you have the correct time? 1480

1479
01:40:29,849 --> 01:40:31,209
I think I'm still in my last time zone. 1481

1480
01:40:31,210 --> 01:40:34,071
Yeah, yeah. Let's see now. 1482

1481
01:40:46,711 --> 01:40:47,871
599531, I'm in. 1483

1482
01:40:47,872 --> 01:40:49,153
Get your arse back to the plane, now. 1484

1483
01:40:49,154 --> 01:40:50,875
- On my way. - Lancelot, good luck! 1485

1484
01:40:50,876 --> 01:40:53,317
Firing in 3... 2... 1486

1485
01:41:00,448 --> 01:41:01,609
Nice and slow. 1487

1486
01:41:01,610 --> 01:41:02,971
Fuck are you doing here? 1488

1487
01:41:02,972 --> 01:41:05,454
Well, my family were invited, obviously. 1489

1488
01:41:05,455 --> 01:41:08,297
Now, get the fuck up! Slowly. 1490

1489
01:41:08,298 --> 01:41:10,340
Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire! 1491

1490
01:41:10,341 --> 01:41:12,103
That other balloon is gonna blow! 1492

1491
01:41:12,104 --> 01:41:16,405
Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it. Give me a second! 1493

1492
01:41:17,030 --> 01:41:20,551
Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy! 1494

1493
01:41:20,635 --> 01:41:21,836
V-Glass, zoom. 1495

1494
01:41:21,837 --> 01:41:25,057
Oh, fuck! It's that young valet. 1496

1495
01:41:28,004 --> 01:41:29,966
Son of a bitch. 1497

1496
01:41:29,967 --> 01:41:31,687
Got it! 1498

1497
01:41:41,221 --> 01:41:44,082
Oh, shit. Sound the alarm! 1499

1498
01:41:45,066 --> 01:41:46,267
I'm not taking any chances. 1500

1499
01:41:46,268 --> 01:41:47,949
Okay, you send out the two-minute warning. 1501

1500
01:41:47,950 --> 01:41:51,754
I'm starting the override. All right, let's do this. 1502

1501
01:41:51,755 --> 01:41:54,256
Countdown initiated. 1503

1502
01:42:03,090 --> 01:42:06,071
- You see him? - Right here. 1504

1503
01:42:13,584 --> 01:42:15,626
Eggsy, take a left. 1505

1504
01:42:15,627 --> 01:42:18,187
Two guards, up ahead. 1506

1505
01:42:29,004 --> 01:42:31,624
Lancelot! Release now! 1507

1506
01:42:41,339 --> 01:42:43,541
Eggsy, straight ahead, then right. 1508

1507
01:42:43,542 --> 01:42:45,863
There's two more. 1509

1508
01:42:48,228 --> 01:42:50,510
AH right, everybody on your feet! 1510

1509
01:42:50,511 --> 01:42:51,873
Countdown to V-day! 1511

1510
01:42:51,874 --> 01:42:54,554
Welcome in the new age! 1512

1511
01:43:01,766 --> 01:43:03,667
Flat spin. 1513

1512
01:43:18,067 --> 01:43:21,829
Eggsy, next left, down the narrow tunnel! 1514

1513
01:43:29,683 --> 01:43:30,843
Here we go! 1515

1514
01:43:30,844 --> 01:43:32,445
10... 1516

1515
01:43:32,486 --> 01:43:34,026
9... 1517

1516
01:43:34,328 --> 01:43:35,869
8... 1518

1517
01:43:35,971 --> 01:43:37,511
7... 1519

1518
01:43:37,893 --> 01:43:39,434
6... 1520

1519
01:43:39,575 --> 01:43:41,115
5... 1521

1520
01:43:41,257 --> 01:43:42,798
4... 1522

1521
01:43:43,500 --> 01:43:44,420
3... 1523

1522
01:43:44,421 --> 01:43:45,962
2... 1524

1523
01:43:46,184 --> 01:43:47,604
1! 1525

1524
01:43:53,113 --> 01:43:55,675
Nice! Well done, both of you. 1526

1525
01:43:55,676 --> 01:43:56,877
It's not working! 1527

1526
01:43:56,878 --> 01:44:00,759
It's supposed to be working! What the fuck? 1528

1527
01:44:05,730 --> 01:44:06,569
Yes! 1529

1528
01:44:06,570 --> 01:44:09,431
Well done, Rox. Good girl. 1530

1529
01:44:11,256 --> 01:44:14,537
We've lost one of our satellites. 1531

1530
01:44:23,352 --> 01:44:27,533
Oh, no, no. There's no way I can hack past that. 1532

1531
01:44:32,684 --> 01:44:34,886
What's going on? 1533

1532
01:44:34,887 --> 01:44:37,129
Is there a problem? 1534

1533
01:44:37,130 --> 01:44:38,611
Come on. There's no need for guns. 1535

1534
01:44:38,612 --> 01:44:40,932
I'm just a pilot. 1536

1535
01:44:43,138 --> 01:44:45,219
Fuck. Merlin! 1537

1536
01:44:46,983 --> 01:44:49,004
Get in here! 1538

1537
01:44:52,831 --> 01:44:54,611
Come on! 1539

1538
01:44:57,556 --> 01:44:59,038
Let's get the fuck out of here! 1540

1539
01:44:59,039 --> 01:45:00,199
We can't. 1541

1540
01:45:00,200 --> 01:45:01,841
I can't get into Valentine's machine. 1542

1541
01:45:01,842 --> 01:45:04,823
He's got biometric security. 1543

1542
01:45:04,926 --> 01:45:08,409
You're gonna have to get in there and make sure his hand never touches that desk. 1544

1543
01:45:08,410 --> 01:45:10,132
Are you taking the fucking piss? 1545

1544
01:45:10,133 --> 01:45:12,334
I'm afraid not. 1546

1545
01:45:14,538 --> 01:45:17,099
Let's have that then. 1547

1546
01:45:17,222 --> 01:45:19,064
This is mine. 1548

1547
01:45:19,065 --> 01:45:21,565
I'll show you yours. 1549

1548
01:45:38,329 --> 01:45:40,350
Good choice. 1550

1549
01:45:41,975 --> 01:45:43,695
How long to re-link the satellite chain? 1551

1550
01:45:43,696 --> 01:45:45,097
It'll take an hour, maybe two. 1552

1551
01:45:45,098 --> 01:45:47,380
Bullshit! Just bring these two closer together. 1553

1552
01:45:47,381 --> 01:45:49,942
But that's not yours. 1554

1553
01:45:54,390 --> 01:45:56,891
V-Glass, call E-man. 1555

1554
01:45:56,954 --> 01:45:58,474
E, it's V. 1556

1555
01:45:58,475 --> 01:46:00,637
Listen, man, I got a little hiccup on this end. 1557

1556
01:46:00,638 --> 01:46:01,798
I need to piggyback. 1558

1557
01:46:01,799 --> 01:46:06,365
One of my satellites just went down, but it's right next to one of yours. 1559

1558
01:46:06,366 --> 01:46:08,487
You read my mind. 1560

1559
01:46:08,488 --> 01:46:12,010
How long before you make that happen? 1561

1560
01:46:13,175 --> 01:46:14,655
Go. 1562

1561
01:46:18,381 --> 01:46:22,263
All right, we should be coming back online. 1563

1562
01:46:23,268 --> 01:46:25,229
10 percent. 1564

1563
01:46:27,393 --> 01:46:28,313
Shit! 1565

1564
01:46:28,314 --> 01:46:30,276
Eggsy, Valentine's using someone else's satellite. 1566

1565
01:46:30,277 --> 01:46:32,399
He's going to reconnect the chain. 1567

1566
01:46:32,400 --> 01:46:34,801
It's going to take him no time at all. 1568

1567
01:46:34,802 --> 01:46:37,243
It's at 20 percent. 1569

1568
01:46:53,867 --> 01:46:59,069
Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you. Get a move on! 1570

1569
01:47:30,675 --> 01:47:32,277
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet? 1571

1570
01:47:32,278 --> 01:47:34,079
Not yet, but he will be soon. 1572

1571
01:47:34,080 --> 01:47:35,681
Good. 1573

1572
01:47:48,739 --> 01:47:51,179
Merlin, I'm fucked. 1574

1573
01:48:02,957 --> 01:48:04,158
As am I. 1575

1574
01:48:04,159 --> 01:48:06,921
They're coming at me from both sides. I'm out of options. 1576

1575
01:48:06,922 --> 01:48:09,483
Rox, I need a favour. 1577

1576
01:48:09,926 --> 01:48:11,167
Call my mum. 1578

1577
01:48:11,168 --> 01:48:13,490
Tell her to lock herself away from Dean. 1579

1578
01:48:13,491 --> 01:48:15,692
And the baby... 1580

1579
01:48:16,014 --> 01:48:18,755
and tell her I love her. 1581

1580
01:48:25,987 --> 01:48:28,247
For fuck's sake. 1582

1581
01:48:31,594 --> 01:48:36,560
Merlin, remember those implants you said were of no use to us? 1583

1582
01:48:36,561 --> 01:48:39,782
Any chance you can turn them on? 1584

1583
01:48:41,447 --> 01:48:42,408
All right. 1585

1584
01:48:42,409 --> 01:48:45,330
My turn to play, Valentine. 1586

1585
01:48:53,383 --> 01:48:54,703
Oh, no! 1587

1586
01:48:54,704 --> 01:48:58,706
What the fuck is he doing? I can't stop this. 1588

1587
01:49:10,565 --> 01:49:12,586
Yes, please. 1589

1588
01:49:15,292 --> 01:49:16,772
No! 1590

1589
01:50:13,327 --> 01:50:15,288
Oh, my God! 1591

1590
01:50:15,570 --> 01:50:17,731
That is fucking spectacular! 1592

1591
01:50:17,732 --> 01:50:20,655
Merlin, you're a fucking genius! 1593

1592
01:50:20,656 --> 01:50:24,177
What the fuck is happening out there? 1594

1593
01:50:28,145 --> 01:50:29,587
Aren't you that princess who went missing? 1595

1594
01:50:29,588 --> 01:50:31,269
Can you get me out? 1596

1595
01:50:31,270 --> 01:50:33,352
If I do, will you give me a kiss? 1597

1596
01:50:33,353 --> 01:50:34,953
I've always wanted to kiss a princess. 1598

1597
01:50:34,954 --> 01:50:39,199
If you get me out right now, I'll give you more than just a kiss. 1599

1598
01:50:39,200 --> 01:50:40,641
You motherfucker. 1600

1599
01:50:40,642 --> 01:50:42,644
Did you really think I was stupid enough... 1601

1600
01:50:42,645 --> 01:50:45,246
to implant one of those things in my own head? 1602

1601
01:50:45,247 --> 01:50:47,770
What are you, fucking crazy? 1603

1602
01:50:47,771 --> 01:50:50,934
All those innocent people killed and for what? 1604

1603
01:50:50,935 --> 01:50:53,496
You didn't stop shit! 1605

1604
01:50:55,140 --> 01:50:57,343
Fine, I've locked the door. What do you want me to do now? 1606

1605
01:50:57,344 --> 01:51:00,947
As I said, put your daughter in the bathroom and throw away the key. 1607

1606
01:51:00,948 --> 01:51:03,509
It's still happening! 1608

1607
01:51:03,512 --> 01:51:04,832
You're fucking insane! 1609

1608
01:51:04,833 --> 01:51:06,794
Just do it. 1610

1609
01:51:33,310 --> 01:51:34,831
Eggsy, the signal's started! 1611

1610
01:51:34,832 --> 01:51:38,155
Get Valentine's hand off that bloody desk now! 1612

1611
01:51:38,156 --> 01:51:39,518
Sorry, love. 1613

1612
01:51:39,519 --> 01:51:41,880
Got to save the world. 1614

1613
01:51:41,881 --> 01:51:44,322
I'll be right back. 1615

1614
01:51:45,245 --> 01:51:47,146
Good luck! 1616

1615
01:51:53,016 --> 01:51:54,736
London. 1617

1616
01:52:22,495 --> 01:52:24,035
Rio. 1618

1617
01:52:39,517 --> 01:52:41,357
Get down! 1619

1618
01:52:42,521 --> 01:52:44,481
You did it! 1620

1619
01:52:52,974 --> 01:52:56,255
The glass is not gonna hold long. 1621

1620
01:52:56,579 --> 01:52:58,720
You stay here. 1622

1621
01:53:00,423 --> 01:53:01,904
Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there? 1623

1622
01:53:01,905 --> 01:53:06,147
- Keep shooting, I'll find a route. - Understood. 1624

1623
01:53:20,409 --> 01:53:22,310
Holy fuck! 1625

1624
01:53:40,035 --> 01:53:42,176
We're back up. 1626

1625
01:53:42,198 --> 01:53:44,338
We're back up! 1627

1626
01:53:50,528 --> 01:53:52,669
This is great! 1628

1627
01:54:00,381 --> 01:54:01,381
Eggsy! 1629

1628
01:54:01,382 --> 01:54:03,104
Fucking get on with it! 1630

1629
01:54:03,105 --> 01:54:05,546
Kick his ass, Gazy! 1631

1630
01:54:10,955 --> 01:54:13,636
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai! 1632

1631
01:54:22,130 --> 01:54:26,431
Kill that motherfucker! He killed all our friends! 1633

1632
01:54:41,995 --> 01:54:45,336
Eggsy, the world is going to shit! 1634

1633
01:54:53,410 --> 01:54:55,653
- Is he dead yet? - Not yet! 1635

1634
01:54:55,654 --> 01:54:57,935
Stop playing with your food! 1636

1635
01:54:57,936 --> 01:54:59,777
Kill him! 1637

1636
01:56:17,159 --> 01:56:18,940
Gazelle! 1638

1637
01:56:20,363 --> 01:56:22,144
Gazelle! 1639

1638
01:56:31,177 --> 01:56:33,498
Come on! Come on! 1640

1639
01:56:35,904 --> 01:56:37,744
Kill him! 1641

1640
01:56:54,247 --> 01:56:55,788
Hey! 1642

1641
01:57:20,001 --> 01:57:22,202
Well done, son! 1643

1642
01:57:22,845 --> 01:57:23,965
Yes! 1644

1643
01:57:23,966 --> 01:57:25,286
Yes, Eggsy! 1645

1644
01:57:25,287 --> 01:57:27,369
Well done, Eggsy! 1646

1645
01:57:27,370 --> 01:57:29,751
And you, Lancelot. 1647

1646
01:57:31,295 --> 01:57:34,498
I'm so sorry. Mummy would never hurt you. 1648

1647
01:57:34,499 --> 01:57:38,260
Mummy would never hurt you. I'm so sorry. 1649

1648
01:57:40,027 --> 01:57:42,108
Are you okay? 1650

1649
01:57:44,832 --> 01:57:48,076
Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy. 1651

1650
01:57:48,077 --> 01:57:50,158
He was right. 1652

1651
01:58:04,618 --> 01:58:06,260
What's up, man? 1653

1652
01:58:06,261 --> 01:58:10,622
Is this the part where you say some really bad pun? 1654

1653
01:58:11,107 --> 01:58:14,448
Well, it's like you said to Harry. 1655

1654
01:58:16,314 --> 01:58:19,775
This ain't that kind of movie, bruv. 1656

1655
01:58:20,119 --> 01:58:21,899
Perfect. 1657

1656
01:58:42,468 --> 01:58:43,828
Eggsy, where are you going? 1658

1657
01:58:43,829 --> 01:58:48,550
There's no need for champagne. We got loads in the plane. 1659

1658
01:58:53,202 --> 01:58:54,882
Did you save the world? 1660

1659
01:58:54,883 --> 01:58:56,844
Yes, I did. 1661

1660
01:58:57,687 --> 01:59:00,308
So, you gonna come in? 1662

1661
01:59:01,252 --> 01:59:03,153
Yes, I am. 1663

1662
01:59:08,221 --> 01:59:12,103
Merlin, the cell's locked. How do I get in? 1664

1663
01:59:12,387 --> 01:59:14,047
26-25. 1665

1664
01:59:18,274 --> 01:59:21,135
Merlin, you're the guvnor. 1666

1665
01:59:23,081 --> 01:59:25,462
You owe me, Eggsy. 1667

1666
01:59:31,091 --> 01:59:32,752
Eggsy? 1668

1667
01:59:38,140 --> 01:59:40,161
Oh, my word. 1669

1668
02:00:27,083 --> 02:00:30,927
Michelle, turn that shit off. It's doing my nut in. 1670

1669
02:00:30,928 --> 02:00:32,970
I rather like that song. 1671

1670
02:00:32,971 --> 02:00:35,532
Leave it on, eh, Mum? 1672

1671
02:00:38,338 --> 02:00:40,380
Mugsy's back. 1673

1672
02:00:40,381 --> 02:00:43,184
You've finally come to have that word with me, have you, son? 1674

1673
02:00:43,185 --> 02:00:44,625
Or are you gonna run away again... 1675

1674
02:00:44,626 --> 02:00:46,668
and pretend you're going to court, dressed like that? 1676

1675
02:00:46,669 --> 02:00:49,050
Oh, you mean this? 1677

1676
02:00:49,593 --> 02:00:51,073
No. 1678

1677
02:00:51,515 --> 02:00:55,920
I know this bloke who's just taken over a tailor shop on Savile Row. 1679

1678
02:00:55,921 --> 02:00:58,203
He's given me a job, Mum. 1680

1679
02:00:58,204 --> 02:01:00,886
It comes with a lot of perks. 1681

1680
02:01:00,887 --> 02:01:03,268
Including a house. 1682

1681
02:01:03,371 --> 02:01:05,813
Come and live with me there, Mum. 1683

1682
02:01:05,814 --> 02:01:07,054
Come on. 1684

1683
02:01:07,055 --> 02:01:09,178
Sit down, you. 1685

1684
02:01:09,179 --> 02:01:11,540
Only place she'll be visiting is you in fucking hospital. 1686

1685
02:01:11,541 --> 02:01:13,503
- Do you hear? - Just leave him alone, Dean! 1687

1686
02:01:13,504 --> 02:01:17,085
Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe. 1688

1687
02:01:17,229 --> 02:01:18,669
All right. 1689

1688
02:01:18,670 --> 02:01:20,392
That's it, do as Mummy says. 1690

1689
02:01:20,393 --> 02:01:23,396
Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours, and knock up a nice chicken costume. 1691

1690
02:01:23,397 --> 02:01:26,138
It'll suit you, you mug. 1692

1691
02:01:27,041 --> 02:01:30,082
As a good friend once said... 1693

1692
02:01:31,126 --> 02:01:33,027
Manners... 1694

1693
02:01:34,170 --> 02:01:36,011
maketh... 1695

1694
02:01:37,735 --> 02:01:39,276
man. 1696

1695
02:01:39,578 --> 02:01:42,099
- Dean? - Shut the fuck up. 1697

1696
02:01:42,100 --> 02:01:46,642
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners up your fucking... 1698

1697
02:01:50,512 --> 02:01:51,752
So... 1699

1698
02:01:51,753 --> 02:01:56,475
are we gonna stand around here all day, or are we gonna fight?