1 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:10,385 PARKER: It was a peaceful day in downtown Stevens Point. 2 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,180 [ROARS] 3 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:19,102 [BUZZES] 4 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,896 [IN MONOTONE] Crush. Kill. Destroy. 5 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,701 [ROARING] 6 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,496 [ROARING] 7 00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,254 [BOX CRASHES] 8 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,258 [GASPS] 9 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,596 What kind of bonkers boy business is this? 10 00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:58,224 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Uh, we're destroying Fake Stevens Point. 11 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:01,728 [IN MONOTONE] Care to participate, insignificant humans? 12 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,065 -Yeah. -Yes. 13 00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:12,697 [CACKLES] 14 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,992 Yes! Oh, that felt good. 15 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:19,496 Hey, I'm gonna go check the video footage from the roof camera. 16 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:23,792 Liv, you're a high-class woman of the world. 17 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,377 -Aw. -So can I get your advice 18 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,003 on a matter of the heart? 19 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,630 Yes, of course. 20 00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:30,757 I love that you came to me, Reginald. 21 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,258 What's the love-1-1? 22 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:36,221 I'm crushing on an older girl. I'm not sure how to get her to notice me. 23 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:38,932 Ooh, someone likes their cheese aged. 24 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,142 So tell me about this girl. 25 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:45,271 Oh, she's got it going on, with a smile that lights up the room. 26 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,815 -Bling! -Aw. 27 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:52,278 Okay, well, my advice would be dress to impress, you know? 28 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,823 Give a hoot, wear a suit. Ha, ha. 29 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,617 And a heartfelt poem never goes out of style. 30 00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:00,078 A poem. I could flow with that. 31 00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,330 Yeah, I bet you could. 32 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,708 Flow on, Casanova. 33 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,880 Ew. Ha, ha. What's with that look? 34 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,926 -Did you just swallow a bug? -Isn't it obvious? 35 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,721 You're the older girl with the bling smile. 36 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,764 Little Reggie has a crush on you. 37 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:20,849 No. 38 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,519 Thank you for the props on my smile, but he just wanted my advice. 39 00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:26,021 Trust me. I know kids. 40 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:31,192 He was vibing you so that he didn't embarrass himself. 41 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,653 Vibing, it's, ahem, just a word that kids use. 42 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:37,741 Yeah, Mom, no one uses that word. Heh. 43 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,451 Hey, Mom. 44 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,661 Thanks for picking me up these new underwear. 45 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,664 I am totally vibing these new boxer-briefs. 46 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,667 [JOEY SINGING TUNE] 47 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,420 -I'll never say it again. -Right. 48 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,632 ♪ Better in stereo ♪ 49 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,634 ♪ Better in stereo ♪ 50 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,762 -♪ I'm up with the sunshine ♪ -♪ Let's go ♪ 51 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,097 -♪ I lace up my high-tops ♪ -♪ Oh, no ♪ 52 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,932 ♪ Slam dunk, ready or not ♪ 53 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:05,268 ♪ Yeah, show me what you got ♪ 54 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,687 -♪ I'm under the spotlight ♪ -♪ Holler ♪ 55 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,689 ♪ I dare you Come on and follow ♪ 56 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,067 ♪ You dance to your own beat ♪ 57 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,568 ♪ I'll sing the melody ♪ 58 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:18,073 ♪ When you say yeah I say no ♪ 59 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,908 ♪ When you say stop ♪ 60 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,786 ♪ All I wanna do is go, go, go ♪ 61 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,789 ♪ You, you The other half of me, me ♪ 62 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,208 ♪ The half I'll never be ♪ 63 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,419 ♪ The half that drives me crazy ♪ 64 00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,089 ♪ You, you The better half of me, me ♪ 65 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,008 ♪ The half I'll always need ♪ 66 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:41,012 ♪ But we both know We're better in stereo ♪ 67 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,394 I am ready for my morning practice, Coach Dad. 68 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,062 You sure? It's gonna be a tough one. 69 00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:51,898 Oh, yeah. Bring it. I want my sweat to sweat. 70 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,777 Okay, so ever since I came back from my knee injury, 71 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:58,863 my basketball team hasn't lost a game. 72 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,866 Ugh! Mad-Dog is back and better than ever. 73 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,786 Oh. Oh, I can't stop smiling. 74 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:06,996 See? 75 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:11,418 -All right, Mad-Dog. Let's do this. -Let's do this. 76 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,754 Not so fast. We need to talk about your grades. 77 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:18,049 -Okay, what about my grades? -You're on academic hold. 78 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:22,303 Sorry, honey, but I have to suspend you from the basketball team. 79 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,930 -What? -Yeah, what? 80 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:28,101 -Mom, I'm acing every class. -Yeah, she's acing every class. 81 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,855 Not home ec. You're failing. 82 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,899 Yeah, no, I meant every real class. Right, Dad? 83 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,572 This would be the part where you back me up. 84 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,199 Sorry, Maddie. 85 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,703 -Grades come first. -Yeah, your father's right. 86 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,372 You need to go talk to Mr. Clodfelter. 87 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,958 What? No. 88 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:55,837 [STAMMERING] I can't talk to him, because he's just-- 89 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,589 He's a monster. 90 00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,883 You can't make me talk to-- 91 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,176 Are you guys buying this? STYLE ::cue() 92 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:06,848 No? Ugh. Fine. You weren't buying it even for a second? 93 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:09,684 Fine. 94 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,399 Hey. Where is Mr. Clodfelter? 95 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,111 [TIRES SCREECHING] 96 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:31,790 All right, class. 97 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:34,000 Phones down, spoons up. We're making crepes. 98 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,586 Let's get ready to whip it and flip it. 99 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,214 [MADDIE CLEARS THROAT] 100 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,091 Hmm, look who's here. 101 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,467 Maddie Rooney. 102 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,135 You can't fail me. 103 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,721 When teachers don't fail students, 104 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,724 students fail themselves. 105 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,976 [LAUGHING MANIACALLY] 106 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:07,534 Okay, but if you don't change my grade, I am off the basketball team. 107 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,620 Hmm, well, if you want to pass home ec, you gotta do the work. 108 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,831 Respect the ec, yo. 109 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,457 [KEY CHIRPS] 110 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,794 Okay, so if I'm being honest, 111 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,631 some of my projects didn't exactly turn out the way I had hoped. 112 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,800 She made me lasagna. 113 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,469 Or a doorstop. I can't tell. 114 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,973 She made me a sweatshirt. 115 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,643 I don't let her make me anything. Life's too short. 116 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,564 Okay, so home ec isn't exactly my bag, 117 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,816 but isn't there anything I can do for extra credit? 118 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,485 Well, there is one thing you can do. 119 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:46,364 Win the Clodfelter Cooking Competition this Friday. 120 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:47,532 Okay, I'm in. 121 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,869 Who am I gonna make cry when I beat them? 122 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:54,039 Funny, I was just asking myself the same thing. 123 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,875 [LAUGHING MANIACALLY] 124 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,798 Wait, okay, I have to beat Artie to get back on the team? 125 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:08,345 Have you seen the gourmet treats that he drops off to woo Liv? 126 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:13,350 Because he calls this one a "Liv and Artie Berry Tartie." 127 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:17,145 Hello, my star sous-chef. 128 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,981 Oh, right back at you, my culinary king. 129 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:27,572 So Miss Rooney versus Chef Artie. Do you feel you're up for the challenge, 130 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:31,368 or are you going to deflate like a bad chocolate soufflé? 131 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,162 [BOTH CACKLING] 132 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:52,681 Oh, lookie, lookie. Daddy's playing hooky. 133 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:57,602 Where are you sneaking off to? Are you a volunteer fireman? 134 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,437 No, wait, a spy. 135 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,689 [GASPS] 136 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,899 A fire spy. 137 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,068 What's a fire spy? 138 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,696 Oh, is that a secret too? Dad, you don't have to tell me. 139 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,155 Daddy, please tell me. 140 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,241 Okay. Listen. 141 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:16,162 I have a few free periods between classes. I'm heading out to catch a movie. 142 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,288 Oh, what movie? 143 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:21,876 [IN DEEP VOICE] In a world where gladiators need friends, there is... 144 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,462 BOTH: The Gladiator Gang. 145 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,758 I really wanna see that. Can I come? 146 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,845 Joey, I can't take you out of school to see a movie. 147 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,806 [HONKING] 148 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,311 Come on. Those weird moose kids get to leave. 149 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,190 They're going on a field trip. That's the Moose Enthusiasts Club. 150 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:47,777 Okay, all right. The Gladiator Gang is set in ancient Rome. 151 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:51,197 The Ancient Roman History Club is born. 152 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:56,453 Nice try, Joey, but school comes before movies. 153 00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,331 Dad, I have two free periods with a lunch in between, 154 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,500 a 4.3 GPA, 155 00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:05,670 and I just so happen to have popcorn in my pocket. 156 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,756 Don't ask me why. 157 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,216 You know what? 158 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:12,635 Let's do it. 159 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,182 How old is this popcorn? 160 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,101 I don't know. How old is this sweater? 161 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:27,650 Om... 162 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,235 Om... 163 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,242 Wow! Reggie, you look so great. 164 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:39,746 Thanks. I took your advice. Dressing to impress my girl. 165 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,664 I wrote a poem too. Tell me what you think. 166 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:42,916 Okay. 167 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,251 Bling! Bling! 168 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,253 My green-eyed girl sings 169 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:48,546 Blastoff! 170 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,549 She's a rocket In orbit around my heart 171 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,097 This is my heart. 172 00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,057 It's beating. 173 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,061 Ah, yes. I can see that. STYLE ::cue() 174 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,897 Well, gotta find Dr. P. Stay pretty. 175 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,273 Okay. 176 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,403 Okay, so maybe Reggie does have a crush on me. 177 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:14,656 I said that. Remember when I said that? Does Mama know kids or what? 178 00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:20,078 How am I supposed to let someone down when they're as sweet as that? 179 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,580 Oh, honey, just be delicate. 180 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:26,126 -You're probably the first crush he's had. -Aw. 181 00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:30,005 The way you treat him will affect every relationship he ever has. 182 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,631 Ever. 183 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,344 Okay, that's a lot of pressure on me. 184 00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:38,221 Oh, I'm not trying to put pressure on you. 185 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,349 Just remember how tight he is with Parker. You don't wanna destroy that. 186 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,852 I do not envy being you right now, okay. 187 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,647 -What am I supposed to do? -You should probably just marry him. 188 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,955 As faculty adviser of the Terminal Velocity Club, 189 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:07,542 I must say, I love skydiving. 190 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:12,005 After our "field trip" to the gladiator movie, 191 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:16,509 Joey and I realized there were a lot of educational opportunities out there. 192 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,554 All you've gotta do is start the right club. 193 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,723 [AIR HISSES] 194 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,684 The Compressed-Air Fishing Club went scuba diving 195 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,478 in Lake Hacheemachee. 196 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:31,566 The Enhanced Engineering Club went to the monster-truck rally. 197 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:35,612 I got this hat and a healthy fear of large trucks. 198 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,745 What's that smell? 199 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:47,415 Can't tell whether it's coming from the oven or my butt. 200 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,253 It is chicken and dumplings. 201 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:56,216 It's actually Mr. Clodfelter's favorite dish. 202 00:11:57,050 --> 00:12:01,262 Although I'm just now realizing that my dumplings are a little dumpy. 203 00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:05,100 Yeah, well, the fumes are burning my nose. 204 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,601 We need some fresh air. 205 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:11,940 Hola, Rooneys. 206 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,400 Well... 207 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,569 now I know what the butt smell was. 208 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,697 Put a sock in it, sass-mouth. 209 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:24,244 I'm here to drop off my weekly delivery for my future wife, Liv Rooney. 210 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,370 [SNAPS] 211 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,168 [HUMS NOTE] 212 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,381 You made a wedding cake? 213 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,383 You do know Liv hates you, right? 214 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:43,555 There's a fine line between love and hate, child. 215 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,436 Hey, Artie, could you do me this big favor 216 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,063 and just kind of bow out of the competition? 217 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:55,108 I need to win or they're not gonna let me play basketball anymore. 218 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,569 Tsk. Hmm, I could do that. 219 00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,946 But I won't. Do you know why? 220 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,699 It was more of a yes-or-no question. 221 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,783 I'll tell you why. 222 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,536 'Twas a crisp October day six years ago. 223 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,080 -I'm sure you remember the rest. -Nope. 224 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:13,209 We were at recess, picking teams for dodgeball. Ring a bell? 225 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,753 -Not a ding. -I stood by, 226 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,839 hoping dodge dynamo Madison Rooney would look my way 227 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,341 and pick me for her team. 228 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,177 -Doesn't sound like something I would do. -And you didn't. 229 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:26,139 I was stuck playing Duck, Duck, Goose with the kindergarteners. 230 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,975 Oh, I remember that. 231 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,394 You were goose for like a whole week. 232 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:35,106 Wait, you're mad at me 233 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:38,610 because I didn't pick you for dodgeball in grade school? 234 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,028 Not mad, my sweet. 235 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,946 Motivated. 236 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:46,826 You took my dodgeball hopes. Now I will take your basketball dreams. 237 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,286 Listen, Artie. 238 00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,955 No one threatens my sister except for me. 239 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,499 Now beat it, goose. 240 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,335 Fine. I was leaving anyway. 241 00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,381 Can you take a picture of Liv eating this--? 242 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,632 -Out. -No. 243 00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:03,760 [GROANS] 244 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,513 There's no way I'm gonna beat Artie. 245 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,140 I am gonna fail home ec and be benched forever. 246 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,851 Are you really giving up that easily? 247 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,187 You worked so hard to get back on the team. 248 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,314 Come on. You gotta be able to cook something. 249 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:22,237 I just don't care about cooking, you know? The only thing I care about is basketball. 250 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,782 We have to figure out a way to channel that passion into food. 251 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,285 We're eating Liv's wedding cake first, right? 252 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,204 -Uh, cheah. -Sick. 253 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,169 [BOTH MOAN] 254 00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:47,595 Hey, Liv. What you up to? 255 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,931 Oh, just brushing my teeth. 256 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,104 Whoa. 257 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:02,902 Okay, so I decided the best way to keep sweet little Reggie from feeling rejected 258 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,613 was to get him to reject me first. STYLE ::cue() 259 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,867 [LISPING] Sorry you have to see me like this. 260 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:15,165 I know you really have a thing for those bling smiles, so... 261 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:19,961 I've gotta say, Liv, I admire you for letting me see your true self. 262 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:21,046 Mad respect. 263 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:25,258 What? No. You're supposed to reject me. 264 00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:26,926 Because of your teeth? 265 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,137 What type of superficial monster do you think I am? 266 00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:31,473 [LIV CLEARS THROAT] 267 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,977 Okay. Come here. 268 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:37,687 Um... 269 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,067 So, Reggie, you... 270 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,903 are a very, very sweet boy. 271 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:50,325 And, you know, somewhere out there is the perfect girl for you. 272 00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,077 And when you meet her, 273 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,538 she's gonna have no choice but to orbit around your heart. 274 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,417 But we really need to talk about this crush that you have 275 00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:01,586 on this green-eyed older girl. 276 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,297 You know? I think we both know who it is. 277 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,508 Oh, you know Clarissa too? 278 00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:09,344 Yeah, I do. Wait. No. What? No. Who's Clarissa? 279 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,305 A girl from my karate dojo. 280 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,933 Okay, but hold on. 281 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,394 You said you had a crush on an older girl. 282 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,104 She's three months older than me. 283 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:25,193 Wait, you didn't think I meant you, did you? 284 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,904 Yeah, no, it's possible that I thought that, yes. 285 00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:32,992 Was this disgusting, slobbery mess your way of letting me down easy? 286 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,287 It's possible that it was, yes. 287 00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:41,793 Liv, you're cute, but you're a little immature for me. 288 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:46,131 Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find a nice guy. 289 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:49,134 Oh, that Artie dude seems into you. Want me to hook it up? 290 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,927 Mm, heh. Get out. 291 00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:02,647 I am so excited to mini-golf. 292 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:07,694 And is it just me, or do I look great in these tiny elf pants? 293 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,489 Well, lookie, lookie. 294 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,784 Two Rooneys playing hooky. 295 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:18,288 We have permission slips signed by our faculty adviser. 296 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,791 Let it go. It's over, son. 297 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,668 Oh, heh, it's not over. 298 00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:25,628 -It's not? -Oh, no. 299 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,590 No, I had to open your club up to new membership. 300 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,426 So looks like you have some guests on your field trip. 301 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:35,263 Hi, guys. The Moose Enthusiasts Club. 302 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,807 Yeah, and they don't want to mini-golf. 303 00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:41,561 They just wanna sit in the woods, you know, just hope that a moose walks by. 304 00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:46,900 Well, can't get any worse. 305 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,902 [HONKING] 306 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:57,577 Hello, Rooneys. I hear we're going moosing together. 307 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,745 [HONKS] 308 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,210 I stand corrected. 309 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,045 It got worse. 310 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,589 Well, have fun, boys. 311 00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:11,257 [HONKS DEJECTEDLY] 312 00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,808 Welcome to the Clodfelter Cooking Competition, 313 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:25,438 which pits Maddie Rooney versus Artie Smalls. 314 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,734 And this is why we cook! 315 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,575 Behold the Clodfelter. 316 00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:41,496 I had to use my pension money to have this lifty thing installed. 317 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,580 Worth every penny. 318 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,835 Chef Artie, present your plate. 319 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,461 [SNAPS] 320 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,509 Why did the chicken and dumplings cross the road? 321 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:55,927 [CHUCKLES] 322 00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:58,304 To deliver Maddie a beatdown! 323 00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,474 Ooh. 324 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:05,895 Chicken and dumplings, my favorite dish. 325 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,105 Mm. 326 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:18,950 Someone has been reading my self-published memoir... 327 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,955 From the Fridge to the Stove: The Three-Foot Journey. 328 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:28,126 Artie, you stole my dish. 329 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:29,794 You dirty dumpling. 330 00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:34,424 Don't hate the plater. Hate the game. 331 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,470 Very impressive, Chef Artie. 332 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,890 One day, when Hollywood whisks me away for my cooking show, 333 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:45,727 this kitchen kingdom, complete with the custom lifty-thing, 334 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:46,895 will all be yours. 335 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,443 Pomegranate fizz-fizz? 336 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:59,032 I shall drink it in celebration as I hoist the Clodfelter in victory. 337 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,618 Ah, not so fast. My turn. 338 00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,497 Sure, why not end on a whimper? 339 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,582 [BOTH LAUGHING] STYLE ::cue() 340 00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:12,921 [ARTIE WHEEZING] 341 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:15,048 Ahem. Behold, 342 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,467 Madison Square Meal Garden: 343 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,469 The People's Snackadium! 344 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,638 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 345 00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:36,361 [CHANTING] Maddie, Maddie, here to please! Fifty pounds of ham and cheese! 346 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:40,407 Snackadium, Snackadium! Go, Snackadium! 347 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,082 A food cheerleader. How delightful. 348 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,420 This Snackadium, it intrigues me. 349 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:57,799 Excellent presentation, wonderful creativity. 350 00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,300 Hmm. 351 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,930 Mm, mm, mm. 352 00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:07,892 Mm. 353 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:13,064 Now, I know you just dumped these cheese cubes out of a bag, 354 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,108 but they taste delicious. 355 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,820 The glory of the Snackadium cannot be denied. 356 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,197 Maddie Rooney has won the Clodfelter! 357 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,657 Oh! Yay! 358 00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:24,701 -No! -Okay. Yay! 359 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:27,996 Guys, I'm back on the team. 360 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,498 What? No! 361 00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,460 This is a stain on the Clodfelter that can never be removed. 362 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:35,962 [SNAPS] 363 00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:44,721 Poor Artie, so prepared in the kitchen, 364 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,182 so unprepared for life. 365 00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:50,935 [BOTH CACKLING] 366 00:21:56,691 --> 00:21:58,693 [BOTH COUGHING] 367 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:14,250 Welcome once again to Cooking With Clodfelter. 368 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,337 Today we're making seven-layer dip surprise. 369 00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:19,714 What's the surprise, you may ask? 370 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,967 [WHISPERS] We're using eight layers. 371 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:26,096 [LAUGHTER ON RECORDING] 372 00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:28,973 You get a car! You get a car! You get a car! 373 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:31,559 You get a custom-made lifty-thing. 374 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:33,687 [MADDIE CLEARS THROAT] 375 00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:36,314 Mr. Clodfelter. 376 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,483 What you doing? 377 00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:41,986 Nothing, certainly not talking to an imaginary audience, 378 00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:44,030 pretending I have my own cooking show. 379 00:22:45,156 --> 00:22:48,535 -What do you want? -I was just gonna show Liv my Snackadium. 380 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:50,954 Sorry, kid. I ate it. 381 00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:54,582 Oh. Well, then... 382 00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:58,586 maybe we could teach the imaginary folks at home 383 00:22:58,670 --> 00:23:01,214 how to make their very own Snackadium. 384 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,925 Excellent idea. 385 00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:06,302 Who doesn't love a special guest star? 386 00:23:06,386 --> 00:23:09,055 Welcome to the show, Liv and Maddie! 387 00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:13,226 No channel hopping, we're about to get chopping. 388 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:15,812 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]