Students of Ridgewood High, for our big game against the Ravens,
we are excited to have our captain back from her injury.
Maddie Rooney!
[CHEERING]
Hey! Willow wasn't finished!
Take it away, Mads.
-Thanks, Willow, and thank you... -WILLOW: This is where you clap!
[CHEERING RESUMES]
Thanks, Willow.
And thank you so much for carrying the team when I was gone.
She didn't carry the team. We take a bus.
It's really nice, except Seat 14, which is covered in tape.
There was a bathroom though, which was handy,
-Willow knows what I'm talking about. -WILLOW: Lacy! [LAUGHS]
I think Maddie has something to say. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Hey Ridgewood!
It's gonna take more than a blown knee to keep me from beating those Ravens.
[CHEERING]
Go, Porcupines! [IMITATING PORCUPINE CALLS]
[TRAILING OFF]
Yeah, we really need to come up with a new Porcupine victory cry.
And for our big rivalry game, we bring out the Ridgewood Rock!
[CHEERING]
If anyone can steal this from the team before Friday,
you will be excused from Gym for an entire week!
[STUDENTS OOHS]
Lady Porcupines, protect the rock!
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Victory is mine! [SHRIEKS]
I desperately need that get-out-of-P.E. pass.
Next week is Square Dance Week, and Joey don't dosey doe.
Oh yes he "do see do." [GIGGLES]
Give me that rock! I won't stop trying until I get it.
It's behind my back. One hug, and it's yours.
Round One, Lady Porcupines.
♪ Better in stereo ♪ Better in stereo ♪
♪ I'm up with the sunshine Let's go ♪
♪ I lace up my high tops Oh, no ♪
♪ Slam dunk Ready or not ♪
♪ Yeah, show me what you got ♪
♪ I'm under the spotlight Holler ♪
♪ I dare you, come on and follow ♪
♪ You dance to your own beat I'll sing the melody ♪
♪ When you say yeah I say no ♪
♪ When you say stop All I wanna do is go, go, go ♪
♪ You, you, the other half of me, me The half I'll never be ♪
♪ The half that drives me crazy ♪
♪ You, you, the better half of me, me The half I'll always need ♪
♪ But we both know We're better in stereo ♪
[PUNCH SOUNDS, GROWLING]
Take that, zombies. Hi-ya!
You will not dine on these brains, sir.
Parker, are you still playing that game?
You've been playing that
since before I left for my Sparklecise aerobics class.
[GIGGLES]
Don't you want to go outside?
No, I want to go to the bathroom.
But I can't pause the game in the middle of a level.
Here, take over.
Just hide and don't get me killed.
Zombies don't play, dude.
Oh. So realistic.
It's like I'm walking through a forest.
Ooh, it even follows my movements.
Oh, look at me.
I'm walking down stairs.
[ZOMBIE GRUNTS]
Oh, excuse me, Mr. Zombie. I'm just supposed to hide.
[MOANING]
Whoa, I said, excuse me.
[SLAP]
Ugh, I actually felt that. Hey, back off!
Sparkle kick! [GIGGLES]
Oh, I'm sorry, did I knock off your head? Good. Fear me!
A-five, six, seven, eight... And one, and two, and three, and four, yeah.
[KAREN GRUNTING]
What are you doing?! I said, hide!
Oh, I...
[MUSIC CRESCENDOS]
Whoa, you made it to Level 17.
Mom, how did you do that?
Oh, I just did some moves I learned in my Sparklecise class.
Wait. You used your old lady exercise moves to clear Level 16?
This old lady could show you some of her moves.
[SCOFFS]
I don't want some of your moves.
-I want them all! Sparkle me, Mom! -KAREN: Huh?
[DEEPLY INHALING]
Guess who just got cast in her first sequel!
I'm guessing the only actress in this house.
Do you wanna know what it is? Okay, I'm gonna give you a hint.
[CLEARS THROAT]
♪ Mandy says your muffler is A-okay ♪
[SNAPS]
My first big break was singing in a local commercial
for Mike's Muffler Shop when I was 9.
To this day, the roar of bad mufflers and the smell of motor oil
always gives me that showbiz rush.
Liv, I thought you were gonna, like, focus on your music?
Well, yeah, I am. But Mike's Muffler Shop called, and I felt like I owed them one. STYLE ::cue()
[SQUEALS] I'm so excited!
You're excited about being a dancing muffler chased by a badger.
Okay, first of all, Mo the Badger wasn't chasing me. He was chasing a good deal.
And secondly, I told them that I would only do it if they cast Shayna Sowen.
In second grade, Shayna and I met at Shiny Smiles Acting Camp. [GIGGLES]
Shayna was actually cast in the muffler commercial first,
but then, she got chicken pox, so they asked me to do it.
And then, Shayna had already tried on the outfit,
so, two weeks later, I got chicken pox. [CLEARS THROAT]
I just always felt bad that Shayna didn't get to do the commercial,
and now, I have a chance to make it right.
And don't worry, I will be done filming before your big basketball game.
I can't wait to see you play now that your knee is all better.
Yeah. Thank you.
-LIV: Yeah. -MADDIE: It's, uh...
It's gonna be great. [LAUGHS]
I'm gonna crush those Ravens. [TAPS ON THE TABLE]
Whoa, heh. Maddie.
You didn't say, "Bam! What?"
I've never seen you miss a "Bam! What?" moment.
I've even seen you "Bam! What?" a good "Bam! What?"
Right...
-MADDIE: Bam...! -[LIV SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
We both know you're faking.
Maddie, what's wrong?
What? Nothing's wrong.
This isn't about your knee, is it?
Because we talked to the doctor, and she said you're fine.
She also said she loved my outfit,
so she obviously knows what she's talking about.
No, Liv, nothing's bothering me.
I'm fine. I'm ready. I'm...
[GASPS]
Whoa, you are so not ready. You just got schooled by Mandy the Muffler Girl.
[LAUGHS]
What's that thing that you always do? [GASPS]
Okay.
[SNIFFS HEAVILY]
There it is.
The muffler fumes of my youth.
[SNIFFS]
Oh, okay, now, I'm just dizzy.
Oh, Tooch, hey.
Umm, before you leave, can we make sure
that Shayna is the new muffler, and I'll be the rusty old one?
It's really important to me that Shayna gets the spotlight.
Plus, I mean... I feel like I played the shiny new muffler before.
You know, I really wanna challenge myself as an actress.
So does this look rusty to you?
[MAKES SQUEAKING NOISES]
Liv!
Shayna!
[SQUEALING]
I missed you so much!
Not as much as I missed you!
Shiny Smiles Acting Camp salute?
Hey you, what do you do?
Drama, comedy, improv too.
I'll sing, I'll dance, I'll make you smile.
Shiny Smiles Camp is worth your while.
BOTH: And space work, and space work,
and space work, and space work.
Put the groceries in the cart. Put the groceries in the cart.
Lawn sprinkler, lawn sprinkler. Jazz hands.
Thank you so much for doing this commercial with me.
I told them I wouldn't do anything unless they got Liv Rooney.
I'm just kidding, I'm not doing anything.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Well, Shayna, it is such a shame that we lost touch.
Let me get your phone number.
Wow, is that the new Z Phone 5000?
Uh-huh, it's awesome. Do you like it?
I hate it.
I hate that it's not mine.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Had you going there, didn't I?
Who's the movie star, now?
I'm kidding, it's still you.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I don't know, Shane, those are diva shades if I ever saw them.
Love those.
[HONKING]
And Mo is back too?
Wow, he really hasn't aged a bit.
And Lacy kicks off the ball to Rooney, who drives to the hole!
Or passes it to Lacy, who passes it back to Rooney who drives to the hole!
-MADDIE: Yes. -WILLOW: Or not.
Maddie, you haven't taken a shot all day, what's wrong?
Yeah, something's fishy.
Whoa, I just remembered tomorrow is fish stick day at the cafeteria.
Do you think they're made from halibut or cod?
Oh, wait, Maddie, were you about to say something?
I really wanna hear it. Please, let it be cod.
I...
Okay, um...
The truth is...
I'm really excited about getting back on the court,
but I am just a little nervous that I might hurt my knee again.
That's all.
You'll be fine, Mads.
I just... I don't know.
I'm worried that if I get in a game, I might hesitate,
and, I mean, you know that if you hesitate for even a second, you're toast.
And, I mean, I also know that I haven't played in a while. STYLE ::cue()
What if I'm just not as good as I used to be?
Maddie, you're our star!
Once you get in a pressure situation, you're gonna react just fine.
It's like one of those things you never forget how to do.
Like, riding a bike or sneaking up on Joey when he's taking his afternoon nap.
Ha-ha!
[COUGHING]
Ha-ha, victory is mine!
Hey, hens, next time, try less clucking and more defending the rock.
Hey, Jojo.
-LACY: Cluck. -WILLOW: Cluck.
MADDIE: Boom.
This makes me slightly less certain of victory.
I shall find a neighborhood cat to lick me clean while I plot my revenge.
[GASPS]
Sweet mother of crushed vermilion.
We have the exact same lip gloss.
No way. You wear Crushed Vermilion by Lady Love Lips?
Obsessed.
[SHAYNA GIGGLES]
It's so hard to find here in Wisconsin.
I always keep it right here in my bag.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Right here.
That's so weird. It was here just a minute ago.
Okay, so I really don't want to go there,
but what are the chances of us having the exact same lip gloss color?
Like, one in a crushed vermilion?
Is it possible that Shayna took my lip gloss?
Nah. [LAUGHING]
Well...
Nah. [LAUGHS]
Well...
Huh, it's gotta be in here.
It's usually right here next to my phone...
[DEEP GASPS]
What, what is it?
My phone!
[HYPERVENTILATING] My phone, it's gone too!
Oh, I can't feel my fingers! Oh, Shayna, I can't feel my fingers!
I can't feel...
Okay, so my lip gloss and my phone,
which Shayna said she wanted, are both gone.
Normally, in this situation, I would ask Maddie what to do,
but I can't call her without my phone, and then, I can't call her from the shop
because I don't know her number and... [GASPING]
I don't know anyone's number!
Oh, oh! Ah.
Call Maddie!
[DIAL TONE] Whoa, it's angry! Ah, it's angry!
Okay, and a twizzle.
And a pivot. And a kick.
Lengthen your weight and sparkle.
Sparkle, sparkle.
-KAREN: Honey, sparkle. -Okay, say words that make sense!
Okay, let me show you.
I wish I could say that I was having fun
sharing an activity with my son, but the truth is,
I just love killing zombies.
Parker, come on! You let those zombies back you into a corner.
Well, Momma's gonna fix that, with a sparkle, sparkle, kick!
Ooh, boom.
Those zombies just got Mommied.
Okay, Mom, I think I got it.
Level 18, Momma needs some room.
But I'm ready to have my game back.
Go away. Ooh, that's my new kill move.
Yeah. And go. And go. And go.
I think some neighborhood kids are having a rock fight.
Maybe I'll go join them?
Okay, have fun!
I hope I make it back alive.
Love you too!
Yup, that's right.
At Mike's Muffler Shop...
♪ Mindy says 80 bucks is all you'll pay ♪
♪ Mandy says your muffler is A-okay ♪
♪ And Shayna stole my phone And that is not okay ♪
[BELL BUZZES]
Great take, Shayna.
Thanks. I'm drawing from the same emotions I used to play a cupcake,
and it's totally working.
[LAUGHING]
And now to find my phone.
[INHALES]
[EXHALES]
Uh!
Liv, what are you doing with my wallet?
Uh... Give me a sec. I'll think of something.
My sunglasses went missing earlier, too.
You know, the ones you said you love.
Ugh, I can't believe it. You're a thief! STYLE ::cue()
Liv Rooney's a thief!
[GIGGLING] I am kidding.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
No, I'm not. Liv Rooney's a thief!
I'm the thief? You stole my phone and my lip gloss!
What? How dare you!
[GROWLING]
-[BOTH GROWLING] -BOTH: Ooh!
[BOTH GROWLING]
Oh.
And lift, and kick, and twizzle, twizzle, turn.
Come on, tighten those buns, ladies. I mean, zombies.
Mom, you've been playing Zombie Gut Splash all day.
You gonna take a break and make dinner, by any chance?
Momma's busy. Make it yourself.
I get to use the stove? Yay!
Oh, hello, Mr. Zombie, sir.
Have you met my friend Size Seven Sparkle Sneaker?
Did someone order a can of butt whooping? Because I brought a whole case.
I played outside for 20 minutes.
I got three mosquito bites, somersaulted into dog poop, and was chased by an owl.
It was time to take virtual reality back.
Oh, hello, little boy.
I hope you bought a ticket because you're going down to Karentown.
You're pretty tough against the undead. Let's see how you do against the living.
-PARKER: Hiya, hiya! -KAREN: Oof. Oh!
And stretch, and lift, and shimmy, shimmy, boom!
And slap, and slap, and slappy, slappy, slap!
No!
Ever been beaten with your own spine?
[IMITATING RATTLE]
[IMITATING WHIP]
As I ripped the spine from my son's body,
I realized that maybe I'd crossed a line.
Oh, sorry, honey.
Here's your spine back.
[IMITATING RATTLE]
Thank you.
Here's your Mother of the Year Award.
-Oh, I think I'm done with this game. -PARKER: Probably best.
But you had a good run, Mom.
Thank you, honey.
So, the stove is super complicated.
Who wants ice pops for dinner?
You are never moving out, are you?
It is not looking good.
Shayna: Give me back my sunglasses!
I don't have your sunglasses!
-Give me back my phone! -SHAYNA: I don't have your phone!
What is going on?
[SHAYNA AND LIV GRUNTING]
I thought we were gonna be friends!
I'm not friends with thieves.
I am not a thief!
Girls, what is wrong with you?
And Liv, why do you keep texting me weird stuff that I don't understand,
like "LLK semicolon"?
I barely know what "IDK" means.
[CHUCKLING] LOL.
I can't text you, Dad, because Shayna stole my phone.
[PHONE BUZZES]
Well, you just texted me a photo.
What? That's impossible.
Why is there a selfie of a badger on my...?
[GASPS] Mo!
[GROWLING]
-Mo stole our stuff? -LIV: Ha!
I'm gonna get my phone back.
[SNARLING]
Dad, get my phone back.
[SNARLING]
Let's just let him finish his phone call first.
Shayna, I'm so sorry I thought you took my phone.
I'm sorry too.
And when I thought you were the thief,
I was really upset because I was so happy that we're friends again.
And when I thought you were the thief, I thought:
"She's a movie star, why can't she afford her own sunglasses?"
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I really wanna hug you, but I don't think I can get my hands around your suit.
Bow and touch tailpipes?
[GIGGLING]
I got your phone back.
All right, Porcupines.
One more minute until we have successfully defended the rock.
Keep walking, buster!
Bring us home, Lacy.
No, Maddie, you should do it. You could use the confidence boost.
And my self-esteem is flying high.
I found a rainbow scrunchie today, in Chemistry. Check it. STYLE ::cue()
I was gonna go all side pony, but then, I decided it was...
Just give her the rock. Just...
Oh, right.
Here you go, Mads.
Thanks, Lace, and great job, guys.
I mean, if we work like this against the Ravens, then, nothing can stop us.
[PORCUPINE CALL]
Ha! Victory is mine!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
No!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
Time!
Hey, rock's right here, coach.
Maddie! You ran, planted, and pivoted on your knee!
Just like you would in a game!
You're back, captain!
You're right.
Ooh, I am!
Bam! What?
Ooh, that was a really good one.
Bam! What?
[CHEERING]
See you in Gym class, partner.
[SCREAMING]
Victory is mine. [LAUGHS]
Great win, Porcupines!
And our game MVP is Maddie Rooney!
[CHEERING]
Thanks, you guys.
And it feels so good to get back on the court with a win.
Nice work, ladies.
While you were winning your game, I had my own little triumph.
I overcame my fear of the oven.
And I baked you guys a cake to celebrate.
A cake that will explode in Maddie's face,
covering her in a thick layer of frosted revenge.
Go ahead, Maddie.
Cut into it. See what...
[ALL LAUGHING]
Happens.