[bird crowing]
[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]
[elephant trumpeting, lion roaring]
♪ Go!
[opening theme playing]
♪ T-E-E-N
♪ T-I-T-A-N-S
♪ Teen Titans, let's go
♪ Teen Titans, go
- [typing] - [Robin grunting]
[straining]
[Robin grunting]
[slaps] Man, give me that.
You'll never open it with them tiny baby hands.
I can open it.
I was just trying to be careful.
This could be a very valuable bag of chips.
But they're just chips, yo.
How can they be valuable?
Because of the sweepstakes.
Inside every bag, is a chance to win,
a kajillion dollars.
[all whooping]
- [electricity crackling] - The suspense is overloading my circuits.
[explosion]
Open the bag! Open the bag!
- [grunting] - [bag pops open]
[munching]
[burps]
Did we win?
Hold on.
I think I see something at the bottom.
[Robin screaming]
- [Robin and Beast Boy screaming] - [Cyborg screaming]
[Robin continues screaming]
Oh, my goodness! We won!
[excitedly] We are rich!
[chuckling] We're not just rich.
We're filthy, stinking rich!
Yeah, like them corporate Fat Cats.
[meows]
Yes. We shall live like the cats who are the fat.
And no one shall ever, ever the stop us!
[doorbell rings]
Who is that?
[static]
[suspenseful music playing]
- It's the IRS. - The I-R-what now?
The IRS. As in the Internal Revenue Service?
It's the government agency
responsible for collecting taxes.
And the taxes are...
I'm so glad you've asked, Star.
Money we pay to the government to fund vital services
like road maintenance, the fire department,
health inspectors, sanitation and much, much more.
But I don't want no government agents taking my money.
Yeah, it was hard opening up that bag of chips
and eating our way to the bottom.
Relax.
The IRS isn't going to take all of our money.
They're only going to take half.
[all screaming in fear]
- What... - ...the heck, Robin?
How greedy can these government agents get?
Look, even after we pay our taxes,
the amount of money we get to keep
is still obscene.
Forget it! I don't want to pay no taxes.
These IRS agents are straight up evil, dude.
I say we get the rid of them.
Great idea, Star. Azarath Metrion Zinthos.
[apprehensively] What did you do, Raven?
I created a world where the IRS doesn't exist.
But without the IRS, no one will pay their taxes.
and all of the government services will disappear.
[people screaming]
Fine by me.
We do not need the services, Robin.
Yeah, we's gonna spend our money
way smarter than them, dumb governmentalists would.
Now who's up for a shopping spree?
[all cheering]
[grumbles]
[upbeat music playing]
Yo, check this one out.
Ooh, it's got solid gold rims.
[narrator reading] Elegance!
The jet engine!
[narrator reading] Horsepower!
It's even got a hot tub.
[trembling] So relaxing.
[narrator reading] Water!
But buying a sports car is a huge waste of money.
It's going to lose a third of its value
the minute we drive it off the lot.
Who cares?
We've got suitcases full of money.
Yeah. And living that Fat Cat lifestyle, baby.
Now let us enjoy our new purchase
by making it go the... [imitates engine revving]
Vroom!
- [all cheering] - [crashing]
Oh, yeah, this is gonna be sick.
[upbeat music playing]
- [wheels screeching] - [all cheering]
[all grunting in pain]
[car thudding]
[all exclaiming]
[all screaming]
Oh, man, not our beautiful car!
[all screaming]
Ugh. I think it's totaled, yo.
Who put the cavities in the middle of the road?
Those aren't cavities. There are potholes.
Well, why isn't anyone fixing them?
Because no one is paying their taxes anymore.
No taxes equals no money for road maintenance.
[loud explosion]
[all screaming]
Quick, Titans, we have to put this fire out immediately!
Relax, dude. All we gotta do is call the fire department.
[dead tone]
[automated voice] We're sorry. The number you have reached is not in service.
Huh. Considering it's funded by tax dollars,
the fire department no longer exists.
[loud explosion]
[people clamoring]
That's okay.
I'm sure the blaze will eventually burn itself out.
[stomach rumbling]
Ooh. All of this excitement
has worked up quite the appetites.
I know a great burger place nearby.
- That sounds good. - Indeed.
Then let's buy a helicopter and fly there, y'all.
[all cheering]
[amusing music playing]
[Raven] Wow. What a great use of our money.
We'll take four hamburgers...
And one veggie burger, please.
How much of the cash money do we owe you?
[cash register beeps and dings]
[all gasp]
How can they charge us so much for the meat patties?
Because there's no tax funded government
to stop them from price gouging.
Okay, I'll pay it.
But this better be one tasty burger.
[rock music playing]
- [munching] - Hey!
This is pretty good.
Mm-hmm?
But why does mine taste so crunchy?
[exclaims in disgust]
Cockroaches!
[all exclaiming and retching]
Why are there so many bugs in our foods?
Because no taxes means
the city can't pay for a health inspector.
Ugh. I need to rinse my mouth out.
Here you go, mama.
[gulps]
[spits] Ew! What's wrong with the water?
The city's pipes are aging and fixing them requires...
[all] Tax dollars.
I'm beginning to see how the lack of the taxes
can deteriorate our quality of the living.
So you're willing to start paying your taxes now?
- No, man, are you crazy? - [Starfire scoffs]
We do not have to worry about a crumbling society
as long as we have the money.
Speaking of money,
we're down to our last suitcase.
So we need to make sure we don't lose it.
Don't worry, mama.
Ain'ts nothing gonna separate me from this money.
[ominous music playing]
[roars]
Ow!
[starts engine]
No!
Our monies.
What's with all these wild animals running around?
Without budget-saving tax dollars,
the zoo must have been forced to release them.
Quick! Someone call animal control.
There is no animal control.
Oh, man. So now we're broke?
I'm afraid so.
[groans] Living in a tax free world is horrible.
Unless you have tons of money to fix all of your problems.
Then we need to fix this world by bringing back the IRS.
But I can't bring them back.
They no longer exist.
Then, perhaps, we should become the IRS
and collect the tax money ourselves.
Great idea, Star.
Then it's settled.
Teen Tax-Mans, go, collect!
Give us half of your pay check!
[laughing]
- [bone cracking] - [Kid Flash screams in pain]
[grunting]
Teen Tax-Mans,
convert tax dollars into public services!
[grunting loudly]
Hi-yah!
Whoo-hoo!
Good work, Team Tax-mans.
We've made a lot of progress.
But we still need more tax dollars
to fix the rest of the city.
[sirens wailing]
But where are we supposed to get that money?
We've collected taxes from everyone.
Not everyone.
Oh, no. There's one group that is yet to pay their taxes.
The corporate Fat Cats.
How do we find them, yo?
Well, Fat Cats love staying on top.
So all we have to do is look up.
[jazz music playing]
[meows]
Whoa. Those are some big Fat Cats.
Now let's go get 'em.
[upbeat rock music playing]
[sweetly] Mr. Fat Cats...
- [shouts] ...pay your taxes! - [cat yowls]
[cat snarling]
These Fat Cats are really good at evading taxes.
[straining] We got a big one.
[straining] But he's so heavy.
We can't shakes the monies out.
[Beast Boy groans]
- Argh! - [cat snarling]
These Cats have learned to become tax exempt.
[yowls]
[all screaming]
Oh, mans. We never gonna get that money.
If only there was a way we could outsmart them.
Hmm. I've got it!
We'll use the one thing no Fat Cat can resist.
A loophole.
[bell tingles]
[all meowing]
[grunts in effort]
[all meowing]
[cat farts]
Quick! Close the loopholes!
Whoo-hoo! We did it!
[all cheering]
Ooh, yeah!
[Robin] With all the taxes collected,
we were able to restore Jump City,
to its former publicly-funded glory.
I think we all learned a valuable lesson today
about the importance of paying our taxes.
[doubtfully] Oh.
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Oh, the yes.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[groans] You guys didn't learn anything, did you?
Uh, nope.