[bird crowing]
[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]
[elephant trumpeting, lion roaring]
♪ Go!
[opening theme playing]
♪ T-E-E-N
♪ T-I-T-A-N-S
♪ Teen Titans, let's go
♪ Teen Titans, go
[hip-hop music playing]
[whirring]
[engine revving]
♪ I think they gon' do Something 'bout the door 'Bout the door ♪
♪ Every time when we Come through, come through ♪
♪ Call on my Call on my ♪
♪ Call on my Call on my Call on my ♪
♪ We gon' take it To the house ♪
[blaring]
There's my man!
Hop in, guys.
Front seat!
No, I get the front.
[Brother Blood yelps]
[growls]
You shall relinquish control of the front seat to me.
Yes, Brother Blood.
Where's Brain?
In the bathroom. He should be out any moment.
Huh. I didn't think that dude, you know, pooped.
How does that even work?
[toilet flushing]
Let's just say it involves the gorilla.
[all laugh]
[Brain] Be back in a bit, Mallah.
Give hugs and kisses to all the henchmen for me.
- B-rain, what's up, my man? - [music playing]
[Brain] I am so glad we found time to get together.
Between work and raising my army,
I've just been so busy lately.
You know why these outings are so great?
Because no one understands villains like other villains do.
[Brain] It's like we're our own special breed.
And a very misunderstood breed at that.
So what are you guys up for? Tacos? Pizza?
Well, for an occasion like this,
[gasps] I say we start with dessert.
[all exclaim] Joker's Gelato!
Mmm. I'm gonna get me
two scoops of Chocolate Minty Mark Hamil.
I'm more of a Cookie Jared Ledough myself.
Joaquin Butter Pecan Phoenix in a waffle cone,
thank you very much.
[Brain] Heath Ledger Bar Milkshake for me, please.
Joker's Gelato, here we come!
[tires screech]
[cars horns honking]
Oh, man! Would you look at this.
It's the middle of the day, there shouldn't be this much traffic.
[Brain] Let me see what the trouble is.
Oh, no! Not the Titans!
Cyborg, hit it.
[button beeps]
[bass-heavy music blaring]
[all vomiting]
[Brain] Having a giant robot dance party in rush hour traffic?
Oh, that is so typical of them.
Those fools have caused more chaos and destruction than we ever have.
And yet, we're considered the bad guys.
The Titans are a bunch of jokes.
I know, right? You know who I find the most annoying?
Beast Boy. Ugh!
[upbeat music plays]
[mimicking Beast Boy] Yo, yo, yo! That's what's up, bro!
My name is Beast Boy, and I sound so stupid
'cause I talk like this.
[laughs] Great impression, Blood.
It was like Beast Boy was right here in the van with us.
[all shudder in disgust]
[Brain] Oh, how I loathe those Titans.
Their incessant buffoonery's enough to drive anyone insane.
Did I ever tell you about the time they actually did drive me insane?
There I was, having a relaxing night at home,
- cup of tea... - [cat purring]
...when suddenly my super computer picked up an incoming signal.
- [cat yowls] - [alarm blaring]
It was a giant meteor.
And it was heading straight for Jump City.
I quickly realized there was only one thing powerful enough to stop it,
the Titans Tower weapons arsenal.
I immediately rushed over to warn them of the impending doom.
However, when I arrived, they were playing this ridiculous game
where all they could say was
"waffles"!
[Brain] Oh, that is so like them.
I know, right?
Anyway, you can only imagine the disaster that followed.
[grunts] Titans, there's a giant meteor that's about to hit Jump City.
We only have moments before...
Waffles!
Wait, what did you just say?
Waffles, waffles, waffles.
This isn't a joke.
A meteor is about to...
Waffles.
You're messing with me now, aren't you?
Waffles, waffles.
Argh, cut that out!
- Waffles. - Waffles.
Waffles.
It's not funny.
[Titans] ♪ Waffles, waffles, waffles
-♪ Waffles, waffles, waffles -[Brother Blood screaming]
-♪ Waffles -[Brother Blood] They drove me completely mad,
and that meteor ended up destroying half the city.
You have to admit, though, that waffles song is rather catchy.
♪ Waffles, waffles, waffles
♪ Waffles!
-♪ Waffles, waffles, waffles -Stop it. Stop!
Silence!
[tires screech]
If I hear that song one more time, I'll explode!
Relax, Blood.
We feel your pain.
I, too, have a painful story I'd like to share.
-[music playing and crowd cheering] -A while back, I was invited
to perform one of my spectacular light shows for a benefit event.
I borrowed the museum's giant prism
- to take my light show to the next level. - [bell dings]
I went through all the proper channels, filled out all the paperwork.
I wanted the show to be legit, 100% on the up-and-up.
[crowd cheering]
[whirring]
[captivating music playing]
[cheering]
From now on, I shall only use light for good and entertainment.
I truly feel today is the first day of the rest of my new life...
- [crowd gasps] - Too bad the rest of your life is going to be behind bars.
Wait, I didn't do anything wrong.
- [groaning] - [Robin grunting]
Seriously... [groans] I didn't break any law.
- Ow! - Save it for the judge.
[Dr. Light groaning]
[crying]
But I really didn't do any...
Same some for Cy!
[vocalizes aggressively]
Stay down!
You do not want to get up!
Ka-blam!
[Dr. Light] I was hospitalized for weeks.
And without a light show, the benefit event was unable
to raise money for the Jump City orphanage.
[groans] Their wanton displays of violence
are really inappropriate for such a young audience.
[Brain] Superheroes are supposed to be role models
who always model good behavior.
And if kids can't look up to superheroes,
who can they look up to?
Their parents? Please.
Yeah, they'd be better off looking up to us.
- Ditto. - I agree with that 100%.
[Brain] ...upstanding, you know.
The Titans are such disappointments.
You wanna talk disappointments?
Let me tell you what happened just last week.
Me and the H.I.V.E. decided we wanted to make a little withdrawal from the bank.
Hand over the money, H.I.V.E.
We didn't steal this money. It's ours.
-We just cashed in our 401 -Ks.
That don't make no sense.
-Choosing to cash in your 401 -Ks before retirement age
will cause you to get hit with additional taxes and penalties
that can reduce your savings by as much as 40%.
And why would you choose to succumb to this fate
when you could've just as easily rolled your money into an IRA
and avoided paying the aforementioned taxes and penalties altogether?
That would be the fiscally wise option
that any sane person would have chosen.
Which is why we know that you are telling the lies.
-Get 'em -No, no. Wait.
We were just ill-informed about our financial options!
Maybe this will teach you a lesson.
[beeping rapidly]
No!
Ugh. How do they know so much -about things like 401 -Ks and rental properties?
[Brain] It's as if their dialog was written by some boring middle-aged man.
[all laugh]
[tires screech]
[vocalizes]
We're here!
- [all cheer] - We are here.
[all] Joker's Gelato!
[slurping and munching]
I am loving these Pepper Jack Nicholson sprinkles.
[slurping]
[Brain] Joker's Gelato always puts a smile on my face.
- [digital warbling] - [cash register dings]
[girl giggling]
[mysterious music plays]
[continues giggling]
[digital warbling]
[Brain sobbing]
Brain, what's wrong?
Do tell, Brain, what happened, bro?
[Brain] As you know,
I'd love to spend my weekends like a typical megalomaniac:
coaching youth soccer.
Lyla, show no mercy!
Persa, take no prisoners.
First, we shall dominate this soccer division,
- and then the world! - [thunder cracks]
But just before the big game, the power went out.
So, I rushed home to grab my generator to power the lights.
Careful with that,
it is crucial to my plan for world domination.
[Robin] Your plan stops here, Brain.
Beast Boy, take out that generator.
That's my specialty, yo!
That's right! You's gettin' all them shrimps and prime rib, generator!
-['90s R&B music playing] -♪ Shrimps and prime rib
♪ Shows you how much I care
♪ Shrimps and prime rib
- ♪ Oh, baby, I'm cooking Shrimps and prime rib ♪ - ♪ I'm cookin' medium-rare
- ♪ For you, I cook it Medium-rare ♪ - ♪ Medium-rare, baby
♪ For you, I cook it 'Cause I care ♪
[Brain] Stop! That grease is going to short the circuits.
[crackling]
Without that generator, I had to cancel the game.
And when the kids found out, they were furious.
I absolutely despise the Titans' humor.
[Brain imitates Robin] "Take out that generator."
[imitates Beast Boy] "Oh! Well, I get it.
Like, take it out to dinner."
[chuckling] Hmm, that's actually pretty funny.
Mmm, sorry.
Well, gentlemen, I must say, indulging in these delicious frozen treats
and sharing these stories has truly been cathartic for me.
It's so much healthier to talk about our problems
than it is to carry around all that anger.
I'm not even mad at the Titans anymore.
Then I propose, that from this day forward,
we give up our hatred for the Titans,
and instead,
meet here once a week and discuss our problems like mature adults.
[others] Hear, hear!
[upbeat music playing]
Curse you, Titans!
[Brain] Destroy them!
[all yelling]