1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:07,106
So I had the dream again.
Here it is. Okay, yes.
2
00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:08,674
I'm in a speeding train
3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,476
Headed towards a tunnel
marked "jenny."
4
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:13,712
Inside the train,
I'm having sex....
5
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,581
With jenny.
6
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:19,718
Guys! Guys, guys, guys!
Big news!
7
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,620
I'm going to paris!
(derrick) what?!
8
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,522
What?
In a train with me?
9
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,960
I can't believe you're
going to paris!
I know!
10
00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:29,561
Did someone say paris?
11
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,430
J'ai vécu dans le neuviène
arrondissement.
12
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,098
(chuckles)
13
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,967
I did a semester
at the sorbonne.
14
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:38,103
You are what the french
would call a "douche."
15
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:42,141
Well, uh, "douche" is actually
french for "shower."
16
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,543
Damn it.
17
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:48,514
I am going to paris.
No way. You're kidding.
18
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,716
Yes! I've been saving credit
card miles for eight years,
19
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,418
And I finally have enough.
20
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,420
Ah, paris is my favorite
city in the world.
21
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:57,423
(jenny) aw.
Yes, we heard about
your sore bone.
22
00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:01,460
I love paris.
23
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,529
I mean, I've never been there,
but I fell in love with it
24
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:05,531
Like every other
9-year-old girl
25
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,366
When I saw the movie
"forget paris."
26
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,635
Aww! Wait, "forget paris,"
the billy crystal movie
27
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,236
From, like, 20 years ago?
28
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,305
(giggles) I know.
I'm such a cliché.
29
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:16,208
(laughs)
(chuckles) okay, so, uh,
when's the trip?
30
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:19,578
Well, due to the blackout dates,
it's either next week or...
31
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,448
October 2031.
(chuckles)
32
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:25,250
Well, mansfield owes me
about 60 vacation days,
33
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,585
So I'll see what
I can do.
34
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,554
Oh, did you want to go?
35
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:31,523
Oh. Did you not
want me to go?
36
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,159
Oh, it's just I didn't know
37
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,727
That you would want to go.
(chuckles)
38
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,262
Oh, I just said it was
my favorite city in the world,
39
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:38,764
Like, twice. (chuckles)
40
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,633
Oh, it's just that I-I booked
this before I knew you.
41
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,068
Oh.
Oh.
42
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,269
Oh.
Oh.
43
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,804
Oh. (chuckles)
oh. (laughs)
44
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,740
What's french for "she doesn't
want to go with you...
45
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,877
You giant shower"?
46
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,082
♪
47
00:01:57,084 --> 00:02:00,152
-- Captions by vitac --
48
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,228
She said she's wanted to go
since she saw "forget paris."
49
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,529
Oh, it's a classic.
(elevator bell dings)
50
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,331
It'll totally make you
want to go to paris.
51
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,100
I do want to go to paris.
Look, I want to go with jenny,
52
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,768
But for some reason,
she didn't ask me.
53
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,104
Well, it's a big jump going
from dating someone
54
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,539
To traveling together.
Mm-hmm.
55
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:21,773
You've been with her,
what, three months?
56
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:25,744
I don't know.
108 days exactly.
57
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,379
Look,
I know we hide it well,
58
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,381
But things have actually
gotten kind of serious.
59
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,517
"hide it"? You--you guys
don't hide it.
60
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,418
You guys are all over
each other.
61
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,087
You guys are the reason
why we had
62
00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:36,588
That company-wide
h.R. Meeting
63
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,558
About inappropriate behavior
in the workplace.
64
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,260
I don't remember that.
65
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,228
Because you were making out
the entire time.
66
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,164
You were groping her
like a blind pickpocket.
67
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,232
Okay... (scoffs)
68
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,101
All right, fine,
we're affectionate.
69
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:51,370
Yeah, it's totally fine, man.
You guys are in love.
70
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:53,338
Yeah.
71
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,741
(inhales)
yeah, actually, I--
72
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:58,210
I haven't told her
I love her yet.
73
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:01,547
What? You tell me you love me
all the time.
74
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,282
Yeah, well, I do love you.
75
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:06,118
Well, I love you, too, man.
76
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,520
But why haven't you told her?
It's not that hard.
77
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,888
I don't--I don't want
to scare her off, you know?
78
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,390
She's really skittish.
79
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,624
I once said "I love
hugh jackman,"
80
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,226
And she totally freaked out.
81
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:17,229
Maybe it's 'cause you said
"I love hugh jackman."
82
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:20,465
Oh, I'm sorry. Jean valjean
and wolverine in the same year?
83
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,701
I love hugh.
84
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,303
My point is,
maybe that's why
85
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,305
She didn't invite you
to paris, you know?
86
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,373
'cause you haven't dropped
the "l" bomb yet.
87
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,608
Of course that's why.
88
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,144
I have to tell jenny
I love her.
89
00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:34,179
Do it. Do it. Just be
real discreet about it,
90
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,981
Like when you took her bra off
at the fire drill.
91
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,785
So we will see mr. Zhang
tomorrow
92
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,320
At 4:00 p.M. At my office.
93
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,821
Thank you, dear.
(cell phone beeps)
94
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:47,960
Scale of 1 to 10--
how happy am I right now?
95
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,596
Uh... 10?
96
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,631
1!
97
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,367
Of course, my scale
is in reverse order,
98
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,469
1 being the highest!
99
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,838
Oh. So then I was right.
100
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,642
You said 10. You couldn't have
been more wrong.
101
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,878
Now tomorrow I have
a very important meeting
102
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,781
With a potential new client,
and let me just say
103
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,583
We're going to be discussing...
104
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,453
Big things.
105
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:16,488
Big, big things.
Big, big things.
106
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,625
Very... Big things.
107
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:23,462
Okay. You're being
really coy, sir.
108
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,464
Am I?
109
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,967
Am I being coy?
110
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,837
As coy
as a southern belle, sir.
111
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,438
(southern accent)
well, I do declare,
112
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,375
You might be on to something,
mr. Wen.
113
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,977
(southern accent)
well, my heavens,
114
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,847
Your brazenness is giving me
the vapors.
115
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,882
(normal voice) oh, well, that--
that--that--that's enough.
116
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:46,218
Mister--mister--mr. Zhang
is what we call
117
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:47,953
A "game changer,"
118
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,489
Therefore, mr. Moyer,
you will stay here.
119
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,391
Mr. Wen, you'll come
to the meeting.
120
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,393
Me? Why me?
Him? Why him?
121
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,228
Well, it's simple, mr. Moyer.
122
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:58,630
Last week, you had a shot
at a big client,
123
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,566
And it's time for mr. Wen
to prove his worth.
124
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,001
Damn right it is.
125
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,370
Also, mr. Zhang doesn't speak
a word of english,
126
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:08,006
And it says on your résumé
that you are fluent in mandarin.
127
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:10,609
It does?
128
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,545
You know, uh...
Most people never get
129
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,448
To the bottom of a résumé
where you list other skills.
130
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,684
I read every word.
In fact,
131
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,719
When you are you gonna
stage that opera?
132
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,788
Uh...
133
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,623
Still looking
for the right venue.
134
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,291
Oh, you're in luck.
135
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:28,427
I'm on the, uh, board
of the san francisco opera.
136
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,629
You found your venue!
137
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:36,435
Now I gotta learn mandarin
and write an opera.
138
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:37,903
(clicks tongue)
139
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,872
(southern accent)
well, I do declare.
140
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,742
You are so screwed.
141
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,584
Hey, can I talk to you
for a second?
142
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,419
Yeah. I-is it about
the paris thing?
143
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,688
Uh, not exactly. Uh, I want
to say something to you,
144
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,857
But I don't want you
to freak out.
Oh, my god.
145
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,526
Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
No, no, no!
146
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,595
I just said I don't want you
to freak out.
147
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,731
Well, don't say that you don't
want me to freak out,
148
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,833
Because right when you say that,
I start to freak out!
149
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,302
It's the weird mole
on your neck, isn't it?
150
00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:11,870
What? I have a weird mole
on my neck?
151
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,439
Yes, baby, that's why
I tell you to wear sunscreen!
152
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,508
But I'm never outside!
Oh, my god!
153
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,477
I can't believe this is
happening to me!
Oh, my god! Oh, wait a minute.
154
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,546
(smacks lips)
no, it's just chocolate.
Oh.
155
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,949
What a relief.
So, um, we're good?
156
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,384
Yes, thank god.
Okay.
157
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:26,885
No, no, that's not--
it's--no.
158
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,620
That's not what I wanted
to say at all.
159
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,989
Um, look, I want to say
something to you, babe,
160
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,891
And there's never a really
good time to say it,
161
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,993
So I feel like if I just
say it right now,
162
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,561
Then I'll just say it.
163
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,964
I love you, jenny!
164
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,800
I realized that's what
my dreams have meant. (laughs)
165
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,603
The washington monument,
the gushing oil derricks,
166
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,772
The hot dog eating contests...
167
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:49,374
Those are all things
that I love.
168
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,042
Just like I love you.
169
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:55,380
Well, thank you, harvard,
and, hey, I love you, too.
170
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,382
Hey, what's going on?
Jenny just said she loves me.
171
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,851
Uh, uh, just like I love you,
derrick.
172
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,520
I love you, too.
I love you, jenny.
173
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,788
I love you, too, tori.
174
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:06,658
Are you frickin' kidding me?
175
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,660
I love all y'all!
Group hug!
176
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,028
(all laughing)
177
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,864
Aw, aw, aw!
I love you!
178
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:20,472
(speaking mandarin)
179
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:23,408
(repeats in mandarin)
180
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:26,578
Well, everyone told jenny
they loved her before I could.
181
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:29,481
They frickin'
love-blocked me, man.
182
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,883
Well, do you know how a chinese
person would respond to that?
183
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,418
No. How?
184
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,520
No, I'm asking you.
I don't speak chinese.
185
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,956
Look, unless you can learn
an entire foreign language
186
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,091
In a day, I really suggest
you tell mansfield.
187
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:43,428
You want me to tell mansfield
that I lied on my résumé?
Yeah.
188
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:46,031
Yeah, I might as well tell him
in not one-eighth cherokee.
189
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,901
Aren't both your parents
from the philippines?
190
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,670
All I know is that
once a year
191
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,104
I get a check from a casino
in connecticut,
192
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,674
And I don't ask
any questions.
193
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,142
Gentlemen, mr. Wen,
194
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,578
Are there any chinese
phrases I should know
195
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,012
For my big meeting
tomorrow?
196
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,581
I mean, I'm obviously
not gonna learn
197
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,182
An entire new language
in a day, right?
198
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,718
Yeah, you know, uh,
chinese is really a language
199
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,421
Of meaningful pauses
and gestures.
200
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,857
It's considered a sign of power
to not talk.
201
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,526
Oh.
For--for--for long periods,
you know?
202
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,828
So--so don't be surprised
if this meeting is filled
203
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,998
With what seems like silence
and blank stares.
204
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,802
Okay. Let me, uh,
let me give it a try.
205
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:33,078
What did I just say?
206
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:36,214
That I better not
screw this up?
207
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:40,719
Oh, you're very good, kid!
You're very good!
208
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,988
I'm bilingual.
Do you love it?
209
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,490
Hey, babe.
210
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,958
Here we go.
211
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,793
You left before
we had a chance to talk.
212
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:51,630
Yes. Uh, and I want to talk
to you so badly right now.
213
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:54,165
Look... There's really
no good way of saying this
214
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,001
And I really didn't imagine
doing it here,
215
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,636
But I might as well just say--
hey--hey, gang,
216
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,070
You mind having
this conversation, like,
217
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,139
Anywhere else?
218
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,708
I have 18 hours to become
fluent in mandarin,
219
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,777
And I can't even get
on the website, so...
220
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,780
Threepeat, you know who's fluent
in mandarin is tori.
221
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,649
Are you serious?
Can you spare her for a day
222
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,784
So she can teach me?
(laughs) spare her?
223
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,620
We don't even know
what she does.
224
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:18,023
Can--can you ask her for me?
225
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:20,992
Yeah, I'll make it happen.
Oh, my god!
Jenny, I love you so much!
226
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:24,062
Oh! Thanks.
I love you, too.
227
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,598
Unbelievable.
228
00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:35,607
(french music playing)
229
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:01,333
(romantic french music playing)
230
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:15,814
♪
231
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:18,984
(groaning sounds)
232
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:21,052
Aah! Aah! (panting)
233
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,321
I can't let her take him
to paris!
234
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,056
(sighs) go back to sleep,
sweetie.
235
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,058
You're just having
a bad dream.
Oh...
236
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,127
Okay, thanks.
237
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:34,232
Aah! (panting)
238
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,639
Here you go, sir.
239
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,674
Got you the numbers
for the, uh, thing.
240
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,876
It's in the back
of the... Whatever.
241
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,778
Ah. What's, uh...
242
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,780
What's the matter
with you, son?
243
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,215
You look like someone
stole your cookies.
244
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,684
No, sir, it's...
It's just that, um...
245
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:55,353
Are those my cookies?
246
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,589
Anything you leave
on your desk is mine.
247
00:10:57,591 --> 00:10:59,624
Uh, have a seat.
Have a seat.
(sighs)
248
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,127
I'm trying to tell jenny
that I love her.
249
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,628
She doesn't know already?
250
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,196
Hell, the rest
of the world does.
251
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,732
It's why we had that
annoying h.R. Meeting.
252
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,734
Well, apparently
she doesn't know.
253
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,102
She's planning a trip
to paris,
254
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,138
And it never even occurred
to her to invite me.
255
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,874
Paris. It's my favorite city
in the whole planet.
256
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,710
(chuckles)
did you ever see
"forget paris"?
257
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:23,181
Was that on cable recently?
Everyone is talking about it.
258
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,816
Well, you don't want
to watch that on tv.
259
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,951
You want to see a film
like that on the big screen.
260
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,920
Billy crystal 40 feet high?
261
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,322
Doesn't get any better
than that.
262
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:34,325
Anyway, uh, now that
I haven't said it,
263
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,061
Every minute that goes by
264
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,762
Makes me more and more
stressed about it.
265
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:40,031
Son, have I ever told you
266
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,666
What to do
in your relationship?
267
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,334
At every single turn.
268
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:46,204
Then it--it should come
as no surprise to you then
269
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,807
When you hear me say,
now is not the time
270
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,676
To tell that girl
that you love her.
271
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,344
I don't understand.
I thought you liked jenny.
272
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,780
I do. I love her.
273
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,752
Does she not know?
Should--should I go tell her?
274
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:03,655
No. No one else needs
to tell her they love her.
275
00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,824
(sighs)
look,
276
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:08,293
Big things are happening
at this firm.
277
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,762
Now's not the time for you
to complicate your life.
278
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,430
It's... It's kismet.
279
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,833
As in fate?
No. It's an acronym.
280
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:17,435
It stands for,
"keep it simple, moyer,
281
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:21,239
Especially today."
282
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,308
Did you just think of that?
283
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,777
It came to me as I said it.
It was kismet.
284
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:30,915
Sir, have I ever ignored
your relationship advice?
285
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,450
Only at every single turn.
286
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,719
Then you will not be surprised
287
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,921
That no matter what,
I'm gonna tell her today.
288
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,791
Well, don't be a shmuck.
That stands for,
289
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:43,228
"sometimes happiness
messes up career...
290
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,996
Kevin"?
291
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:55,073
(speaking mandarin)
292
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,976
That means, "this boat
goes very fast."
293
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,280
Okay, uh, I'm meeting
with a tech billionaire,
294
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,382
And so far all the phrases
you've taught me
295
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,384
Have the word "boat" in it.
296
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,720
That's 'cause I learned
mandarin over a year
297
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,722
Touring asia
as a boat show model.
298
00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:12,223
She was in a chinese
boat calendar,
299
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,458
But will she bring it in?
No.
300
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,126
I told you,
I was topless.
301
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:18,096
And I keep telling you,
I'm cool with that!
302
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:22,100
I need some
business phrases, okay?
303
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,202
Okay, okay.
(clears throat)
304
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:27,906
(speaking mandarin)
305
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,476
That means, "no, sir,
I do not come with the boat."
306
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,247
Thank you so much.
Mm-hmm.
307
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:37,849
This has been
super helpful.
308
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:41,853
Hey, remember,
when all else fails...
309
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:43,788
Stroke the boat.
310
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,790
Yeah, when I'm fired,
I'll have plenty of time
311
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,892
To stroke the boat.
312
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,897
Jenny, you were in my dream
again last night.
313
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:56,467
Was it gross?
Yeah. It was disgusting.
Brody kissed you.
314
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,770
Well, that doesn't sound
very gross.
315
00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:00,438
Well, it was.
I'll show you.
316
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,907
You be brody, I'll be you.
317
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:05,343
No. You be brody,
I'll be me.
318
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,278
Wait, no.
No, I don't want to...
319
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:11,049
Look, jenny, listen to me.
I...
320
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,917
I don't think you should
go to paris with brody.
321
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:16,321
It is--it's not a place
for couples. It's...
322
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:19,791
Paris is the city
of loners.
323
00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:23,194
No. Paris is the city
of lovers.
324
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,531
Well, then they have enough.
(chuckles)
325
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,967
Look, you know, I mean,
I've been thinking about it,
326
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,869
And I keep going back and forth,
you know?
327
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,004
On the one hand,
brody's so sweet,
328
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,907
And he speaks french,
and it would be so romantic.
329
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,942
Get to the other hand.
What is on that other hand?
330
00:14:39,511 --> 00:14:41,880
Well, on the other hand,
we've been dating for, what,
331
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,314
Like three months?
332
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,550
109 days exactly.
333
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,320
Yeah, and it's going
really great, you know.
334
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,989
I don't want to push
the relationship.
335
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,557
We're already moving
so fast.
336
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,192
So fast. Fast, yes.
337
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,160
Yeah--yes.
Like a speeding train.
338
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:59,430
Yes, just like in my dream.
Look at this.
339
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:04,035
Who's this guy
spooning you?
340
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:09,274
Okay, that's private,
all right?
341
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,309
Tell him remington trust
342
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,611
Has withstood
the market's volatility
343
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,447
Better than any other company
in the country.
344
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,456
Oh!
345
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:28,226
He said, "oh."
346
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,629
Yes, I got that.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
347
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,165
Tell him that because
we are a boutique firm,
348
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,567
We can react quickly
to market changes.
Yeah.
349
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:48,479
(speaking mandarin)
350
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,620
Answer his question,
mr. Wen.
351
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:12,337
(speaking mandarin)
352
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,906
(shouts in mandarin)
(shouts in mandarin)
353
00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:16,607
Ha ha!
354
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,943
Wh-what just happened?
We just closed the deal.
355
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,645
Ha ha, we closed the deal!
356
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:24,315
You speak mandarin.
I'm fired!
357
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,951
I speak a little mandarin,
but you are fluent
358
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:30,989
In the international language
of bullshit!
359
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,124
It's impressive.
Really?
360
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,959
Absolutely.
I just watched you
361
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,929
Tread water for 23 minutes
with no knowledge of chinese
362
00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:40,598
And only a basic understanding
of boats.
363
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,635
Now... I'm about to open up
an office in hong kong,
364
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,605
And good things
are about to happen to you.
365
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,474
Very good things.
Now you didn't lie about
366
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,342
Anything else on your résumé,
did you?
367
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,478
Oh, no sir. Everything else
is completely true.
368
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,113
Good, 'cause I'm really
looking forward
369
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,215
To seeing
those juggling skills.
370
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,488
Oh. Yes! You're alone.
371
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,590
Okay, I have something
to tell you,
372
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,258
But I was hoping to do it
373
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:10,094
In a place that had
fewer dumpsters. (chuckles)
374
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,296
I have to go to paris alone.
375
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,365
What?
376
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,300
I'm so sorry, babe.
I just--
377
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:18,102
I've been picturing
this trip in my head
378
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:20,671
For so long,
and it's just been me
379
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,641
And my backpack
and a bag of pastries.
Mm-hmm.
380
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,443
And for some reason,
a little black dog
381
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:28,513
That follows me around
everywhere I go. (chuckles)
382
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:32,050
Please don't hate me
because I want--
I love you.
383
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,252
What?
384
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,354
I've wanted to say it since
the first night we hooked up,
385
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,756
But, uh, I didn't want
to scare you off.
386
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:42,393
Plus I wasn't sure
of your name, but...
387
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,396
And I-I've wanted to say it
every day since.
388
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,365
Jenny, I've never met
anyone like you.
389
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,067
You're crazy
and you're funny
390
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:52,470
And you're really gorgeous,
and you're real.
391
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,639
And you bring out
the best version of me.
392
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,575
And if you want to go to paris
alone, that's totally fine.
393
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,677
I just... Couldn't let you go
without saying
394
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,280
That, jenny, I love you.
395
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:05,349
(gasps) oh, my god.
(giggles)
396
00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:09,353
I love you, too.
397
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,522
I really love you.
398
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,257
Please come to paris
with me. (laughs)
399
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,126
Of course I will. (laughs)
400
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,301
(speaking inaudibly)
401
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:36,614
I just had the best night
of my life.
402
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,549
Really? Because if you had
the best night of your life,
403
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,686
You'd be me, because jenny
told me she loved me.
404
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,654
Oh,
I'm so happy for you, man.
405
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,457
My night crushed yours.
406
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,494
Because mansfield and I
went out partying,
407
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,496
And everything was
coming up threepeat.
408
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:54,098
But the point is,
I trashed my place,
409
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,633
Told my landlord to suck it
410
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,401
Because I'm not gonna need
my apartment anymore,
411
00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:59,070
And you know what?
He's gonna tell you why.
412
00:18:59,072 --> 00:19:00,605
All right,
everyone gather round.
413
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,206
Mr. Wen, mr. Moyer.
414
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:03,674
Now, as you all know,
for the last year,
415
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,576
I've been preparing to open
a new office.
416
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,211
We didn't know where,
we didn't know when.
417
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:08,713
I didn't even know
who was gonna run it.
418
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,448
But today--ha ha ha--
419
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:13,417
Today I have all the answers.
420
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:15,753
The when is next week,
the where is hong kong,
421
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,522
And the who is wen--
422
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,557
Me. My last name is wen.
423
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,559
I'm doing a wordplay thing.
It--it doesn't matter.
424
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,794
The point is,
425
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,563
None of you guys thought
I could do it,
426
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:29,333
So screw you, screw you,
screw you,
427
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,102
You, I have always wanted
to sleep with.
428
00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:32,703
I think we can make time
when I get back
429
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:35,740
From hong kong!
430
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,508
Threepeat,
431
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,243
You're not going
to hong kong.
432
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:42,113
What? But I--
433
00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:45,116
I crushed that meeting. You--
I was gonna move to hong kong
434
00:19:45,118 --> 00:19:48,286
And finally not be
the asian guy.
435
00:19:49,821 --> 00:19:51,789
You did crush it.
You truly crushed it,
436
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,791
Which is why I want you
to stay here
437
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:56,627
In this office
and be my new brody.
438
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,563
But I gave up my apartment.
439
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,299
That was dumb.
440
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:04,335
What's happening
to the old brody?
441
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:06,704
Congratulations, son.
442
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,439
You're going to hong kong.
443
00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:11,175
What?
444
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:14,212
I wanted to tell you
the first day I met you.
445
00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:19,550
But I was afraid it would
scare you off, and I...
446
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,851
You're my guy.
447
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,221
(chuckles)
448
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,256
Congratulations, son.
449
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,458
We leave in two days.
450
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,760
Uh, I-I'm supposed to go
to paris with jenny.
451
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,963
Forget paris.
452
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:42,573
(french music playing)
453
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,375
(coin rattles)
454
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,177
(drumming)
455
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:48,479
Hey, what are you doing?
You're in my dream.
456
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,448
No, man, you are all up
in my dream.
457
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,216
How do you know?
458
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,584
(french accent) bonjour.
459
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,320
Would you like to see
my boat show calendar?
460
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:57,755
Just this once.
461
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,457
Now get out of here
before jenny catches me
462
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,659
Sleeping in the supply closet.