1
00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:05,671
Okay, guys, I got
the new phones!

2
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,072
Did anyone notice?

3
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:08,974
I am a giant black guy
wheeling around

4
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:12,177
$20,000 in new electronics.

5
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,713
You know I got stopped,
like, five times.

6
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:17,583
Did anyone upstairs
see the phones?

7
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:20,285
Hell no! Do you think
I'm crazy?
(harvard chuckles)

8
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:22,554
Once they find out,
they're gonna rush down here

9
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,456
Like a flock of douches.

10
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:27,326
Harvard, you know
better than that.

11
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,561
I meant <i>herd</i> of douches.

12
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:32,498
Hey, you know what?
I'm dating one of them,

13
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,701
And it's a <i>pride</i> of douches.
Pride of douches.

14
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,170
Now they cannot find out
until we're ready, okay?

15
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,638
I don't want any leaks.

16
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,974
Hey, babe, I was just--
is that the new phone?

17
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:43,409
Oh, my god,
that's the new phone!

18
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,477
I'm gonna go tell
the whole pride!

19
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,647
They know!
Okay, guys, let's move!

20
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,383
Derrick, get those phones
in the cage!
I got it!

21
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,452
Tori, I need you to print
100 requisition forms.

22
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,120
Well, there goes my morning.

23
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:57,256
And print.
(taps key)

24
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:01,360
I can feel it in the air.

25
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,729
Should start coming down
any second now.

26
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,030
(phone clatters)

27
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:06,532
It's happening!

28
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,200
(phones clatter)

29
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,836
This is what happens
when the company says

30
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:13,272
You can't get a new phone
till your old one breaks.

31
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,074
(clattering continues)
sure is pretty, though.

32
00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:17,142
(tori and derrick) yeah.

33
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,118
Sorry, baby, I'm dumping you
for a new model.

34
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:28,821
Mr. Wen!

35
00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:32,157
What in the hell are you
doing on my balcony?

36
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,926
I was, uh...

37
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:37,429
Just having a rough day
and thinking about jumping.

38
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:41,433
Well, hell, you can jump.
Just leave the phone.

39
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,435
You need a hand?
No.

40
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,137
Did you write a note?
No.

41
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:47,139
Ohh, there's a truck.
It'd be great.

42
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:50,109
Run you right over,
sure thing.

43
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:51,977
You know what?
I feel better.

44
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:55,380
Great pep talk, sir.
I want to live!

45
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,818
Oops.

46
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,821
♪

47
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,891
-- <font color="#ffff00">Captions by vitac</font> --

48
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,701
Morning, sir. Can I talk
to you for a second?

49
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:16,768
Yeah. Please, have a seat.

50
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,837
Uh, I wanted
to ask you something,

51
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:21,106
But I'm not sure
how you're gonna take it.

52
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:23,208
Hold on.
Are you comfortable?

53
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,643
Yes, sir.

54
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,446
(click, whirring)

55
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,217
How about now?
Not as much.

56
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,686
Excellent.
Ask me whatever you want.

57
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,522
Well, I was just wondering
if you knew

58
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:37,856
Who you were gonna take
with you

59
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,625
To the big tomkins meeting
this afternoon.

60
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,994
Oh, yes, I've put together
my very best team--

61
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,029
Me.

62
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,330
Okay, because no one knows

63
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,899
Tomkins' financials
better than I do.

64
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:49,201
I know those numbers
backwards and forwards.

65
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,636
Forwards is more useful,

66
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:52,638
But backwards makes
for a pretty nice party trick.

67
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,107
You feeling pretty good
about yourself?

68
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:57,476
(whirs, stops)

69
00:02:57,478 --> 00:03:00,712
Like a kid
at the big boy table.

70
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:03,382
Sir, you keep talking about
grooming a new person

71
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,150
To open up the new office,
but you never let me go

72
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:06,385
To the big meetings
with you.

73
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,720
Fair enough.
True or false--

74
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:12,057
I think you're ready to land
your first billionaire client.

75
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,825
True.
False!

76
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,129
True or false--
I'd love to have you

77
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,797
Help me reel one in.

78
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,667
That's true.
False!

79
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,569
Tomkins is a whale.

80
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,204
I am ahab.

81
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:28,240
You are plankton.

82
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,175
Benjamin franklin said,

83
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,110
"tell me and I forget,

84
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,613
"teach me
and I may remember,

85
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,282
But involve me
and I learn."

86
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:40,052
That's a good quote.

87
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,553
Fine. You can come with me.

88
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,756
I will just be
the robin to your batman.

89
00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:47,693
I'm batman.

90
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,228
I like that.

91
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,431
Batman and plankton.

92
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,535
Ah-choo!
God bless you.

93
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,303
Why would you say that?
You sneezed.

94
00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:00,405
No, no. No, no. I didn't sneeze.
I don't get sick.

95
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:03,308
Sickness is a weakness
of the will. Ah-choo!

96
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,445
God bless... America.

97
00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:10,916
Hey, babe.
Ms. Miller.

98
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,452
Babe miller.

99
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:16,421
Mr. Mansfield, I was just
bringing you your new phone.

100
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,990
Where's your assistant?

101
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:19,458
Oh, eric?
He called in sick.

102
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,995
Correction--
he called in weak.

103
00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:25,030
(phone rings)

104
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:26,331
(ringing continues)

105
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,834
Are you gonna get that?

106
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,570
Ms. Miller, I'm c.E.O.
Of one of the largest

107
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,605
Financial management firms
in the country.

108
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,742
I don't answer my own phone.
Besides, it's blinking.

109
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,745
I-I don't know which button
to hit.

110
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:44,283
You'd think green, but I've
made that mistake before.

111
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,219
Remington trust.
Mr. Mansfield's office.

112
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:49,154
Oh, hello, mr. Kersey.

113
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,722
(mouthing words)
he is not in right now,

114
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,658
But he'll be back
in an hou... <i>Week.</i>

115
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,627
In a month?
He'll be back in a year.

116
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,030
(giggles) yes, in a year.
Thank you.

117
00:04:58,032 --> 00:05:01,633
And remember, you can't spell
remington trust without trust.

118
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,736
(laughs) good-bye.
That's not even
our slogan.

119
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:08,040
Yeah, but I like it!
It's fun!

120
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:10,409
Ms. Miller, how'd you like
to be my assistant

121
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,777
Until eric gets back?

122
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,612
It's new phone day.
I-I can't.

123
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,414
Let me rephrase my question.

124
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:18,317
You're my assistant
until eric gets back!

125
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,521
You're gonna like
working for batman.

126
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:32,097
According
to h.R. Guidelines,

127
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:34,700
The person that's in charge
while I'm upstairs

128
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,436
Is the manager of business.

129
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:40,238
No. Nope, nope--
got it. I got it right here.

130
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,040
(laughs) yes.

131
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:45,277
"manager
of business."

132
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,079
Okay, harvard.
(laughs)

133
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:49,848
You are in charge while
I'm upstairs, okay?

134
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,917
Just please, like,
don't go crazy.

135
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,285
(laughing) jenny!

136
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:55,620
Shut up! I'm the manager
of business.

137
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,856
Come on, I think
I can handle this.

138
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:01,693
Listen up, people!

139
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,830
The life you knew is over!

140
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,164
Okay?

141
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:09,101
Put that coconut water
down.

142
00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:14,172
Coconut water is for <i>closers!</i>

143
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:17,609
Now we got a lot of new phones
to distribute today, okay?

144
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,678
So... To keep things fun,

145
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,246
We're gonna have a contest.

146
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,348
Yeah. (laughs)
okay.

147
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,484
First prize--I wonder
what it's gonna be.

148
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,886
It's gonna be a pop-tart.
There it is.

149
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:31,289
Check it out!
Second prize...

150
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:35,761
(gasps) another pop-tart!

151
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:39,398
And third prize is...
You're fired!

152
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,833
Because we only have the--

153
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,002
We just have the two
pop-tarts.

154
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,837
You can't fire us.

155
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,806
(laughs)

156
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,141
Oh, no?

157
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:51,042
I don't think you know
who you're dealing with, okay?

158
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:54,746
See this watch? This watch cost
more than those pop-tarts.

159
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,416
How'd you get to work today?

160
00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:58,917
Because I got here

161
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:02,654
In a $90,000 bus.

162
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,090
Dude, you are really
crazy, man.

163
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,391
I'm up out of here.

164
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,727
(laughs)
go. Fine.
You can all leave!

165
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:11,897
Like I need of you anyways!
(laughs)

166
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,666
Ah, hell.
They took the pop-tarts.

167
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,307
Hey, baby.
Whatcha doin'?

168
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,575
Oh, I'm making a presentation

169
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,210
For the biggest meeting
of my life.

170
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,579
Will you actually tell me
what you think?
Yeah, I love it.

171
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,281
Well, can I show it
to you first?

172
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,849
All right. Okay.

173
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,851
So--all right, let me just
get back to the beginning.

174
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,920
(types and clicks mouse)
okay, so...

175
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:37,689
We open with the remington trust
company logo. And then--

176
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,291
Ooh! Can I say something?
Uh, sure. Go ahead.

177
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:40,926
You should use
my new slogan,

178
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:43,195
"you can't spell remington trust
without trust."

179
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,063
I think--uh, yeah, let's--
let's put a pin in that.

180
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,032
I just wanted to show you
the presentation for--

181
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:50,068
So--here we go.
So the first slide is basically

182
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,204
A brief overview
of the client's industry,

183
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,905
Which basically--
ooh! Can I say something?

184
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,174
What?
He does oil, right?

185
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,543
So, like, how about, instead
of these lines or whatever,

186
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:01,079
You do, uh, oil wells
that are spouting money?

187
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:04,483
Um... Okay, because it's
not what I'm doing.

188
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,451
Can I just, uh, show you
the presentation?

189
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,053
Yes.
Okay.

190
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:10,522
I'm sorry, baby.
It's really good so far.
Aw, thank you.

191
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,157
Mm-hmm.
So--oh, this is
the best part.

192
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,193
I basically compare
our performance to our client's,

193
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,529
And I name names, which is
pretty ballsy. (laughs)

194
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,331
Can I say something?
What? (sighs)

195
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,868
It's really dry. I think
you should make it fun.

196
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,402
What do you--it's not
supposed to be fun,

197
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,704
It's supposed to be good.

198
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,572
Yeah, but it could be
fun and good.

199
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:28,974
Like--oh... (laughing)

200
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,109
We made this video
for new employees

201
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,178
Called "welcome
to remington trust,"

202
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,248
And harvard's wearing
this captain's hat!

203
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:37,682
Uh...
It's ridiculous!

204
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,317
Wait. So-so... (sighs)

205
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,686
You want me to put a video
of harvard in a captain's hat

206
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,021
Into my presentation?

207
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,357
No, I would just
skip the presentation.

208
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,626
I'm not skipping
the presentation.

209
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,461
The whole point
is the presentation.

210
00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:50,829
Okay, I'm just trying
to help.

211
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,531
Well, I-I don't need
your help then. (huffs)

212
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,899
Then why did you ask me
what I think?

213
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,667
Because I just wanted you
to say it was great.

214
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,769
Then it's great!

215
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,304
I'm going back
to my office...

216
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,740
Which is over here now.

217
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:08,580
Mr. Mansfield?
Just wanted to remind you

218
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,615
That you have the tomkins
meeting at 4:00,

219
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,784
And I need your john hancock
on a few things,

220
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,387
Including a birthday card
for mark zuckerberg.

221
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:18,857
I found one that just
says "like." (giggles)

222
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,191
Ah-choo!

223
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:23,061
Sir, if you're sick,
you should cancel the meeting.

224
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,729
I'm not going to cancel
the meeting,

225
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,199
Because I'm not sick.

226
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,668
Sickness is surrender.

227
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,571
Did my body betray me
and allow a virus in?

228
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:36,141
Perhaps, but that's not
my problem.

229
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,477
If my body wants
to pick a fight with me,

230
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,013
I'll kicks its ass,
but I will not--

231
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:46,284
I repeat, I will not--
surrender.

232
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,986
Are you sure?

233
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,921
Um, because it looks like
the only thing

234
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,389
Holding you up right now
is that table.

235
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:54,059
(sighs and stammers)

236
00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:57,562
Incorrect.
You may leave.

237
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,931
Sir, you need to rest.

238
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,866
What are you--
what are you doing, ms. Miller?

239
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,069
Th-this does not
end well for you.
(clicks)

240
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:06,705
(whirring)
if you just
put the remote down,

241
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:10,408
We'll never speak of this
ever again.

242
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,745
(panting) I surrender.

243
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:23,989
Hey. About before, I'm sorry
if I was a little prickly.

244
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,958
Yeah, you were.
Without the "ly."

245
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,894
I know, I know,
I know, I know.

246
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:32,230
I'm just tense because this
meeting is so important to me.

247
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,699
Well, you can relax, because
mansfield told me to cancel it.

248
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,134
Hi. Mr. Tomkins' office,
please?

249
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,603
What?! No!
Ah! Damn!
What are you doing?

250
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,740
I'm hanging up!
No, you're n--
you just transferred the call.

251
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:44,309
Do any of you guys know
how to use these phones?

252
00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:47,245
Look, you--you cannot
cancel that meeting.

253
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,880
You know what?
I'll do it without him.

254
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,316
(laughs) are you crazy?
Yeah. Crazy like plankton.

255
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,685
Look, mansfield keeps
talking about

256
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,320
Someone opening up
a new office.

257
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,390
If I can land this client
alone, I'll be that guy.

258
00:10:58,392 --> 00:11:00,592
Babe, you just told me that
you've never done

259
00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:02,193
A meeting like this before.
Well, I'm ready.

260
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,396
I-I wrote the presentation.
I could do the presentation.

261
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:08,233
The presentation's great.
Uh, babe, the presentation's
all right.

262
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,535
It's great! Look, you don't know
anything about my business.

263
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:13,104
I do. When mansfield sees
that I don't have to be

264
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,540
Second fiddle, that I could be
the whole damn orchestra,

265
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,975
He's gonna ask
for an encore.

266
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,443
Maybe even an oboe solo.

267
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,612
And, yes, I know I'm stuck
in a music metaphor,

268
00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:22,681
But I'm gonna do
this meeting.

269
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:26,351
Oh, my god! You are
just as stubborn as he is.

270
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,253
Thank you.

271
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,790
It wasn't a compliment.

272
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,831
Dude, you gotta hook me up
with a new phone.

273
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,399
My old one died on me.

274
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,634
(rings)

275
00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:44,703
(stomps on phone)

276
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,205
Okay. Okay, slow down.

277
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,140
We have a process here,
okay?

278
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,643
Now I just need to match
the new serial numbers

279
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,845
With your employee I.D.S.

280
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:57,449
Then I'm gonna fill out
requisition form 43a,

281
00:11:57,451 --> 00:12:00,752
And then enter the corresponding
activation codes

282
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,187
From the service provider.

283
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:05,056
Now...
Who here knows how to do

284
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,758
Any of those things
I just said?
(sighs)

285
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,260
(sighs) just give us
our damn phones!

286
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,196
Yeah, man.
I need that phone bad.

287
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,732
It's got more pixels
than the human eye can see.
(gasps)

288
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,734
Whoa! Okay--okay,
back up, back up!

289
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:18,703
I'll use this, man.
Come on, man.

290
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,805
Think about what you're doing.

291
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:22,741
You just tell your people
to stand down.

292
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:25,009
I can't give that order.
You tell your people
to stand down!

293
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,678
I can't give that order!

294
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,179
Let's just take 'em!

295
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,381
(all shouting)
no, no, no, no, no! No!

296
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:33,518
(laughing hysterically)

297
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:37,989
(continues laughing)

298
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:41,693
Now nobody gets a phone!
(laughs)

299
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:43,194
Yeah! That's right!

300
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:46,498
You don't bring a knife
to a gunfight, people.

301
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,933
(laughing)

302
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:52,971
And you "don't close
the door from the inside."

303
00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:58,643
My mom was right.

304
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,780
I'm gonna die alone in a cage.

305
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,919
Mr. Tomkins,
over the next hour,

306
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:10,088
I will use my exhaustive
research to show you

307
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,924
Why you should invest
your money in remington trust.

308
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:15,293
Okay, first slide--
can I say something?

309
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,162
Sure. Go ahead.

310
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:21,099
Is this just gonna be a bunch
of graphs and projections?

311
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,301
'cause I've already done
all that research.

312
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,238
Okay, great. Yeah.
I'll just skip ahead a bit.

313
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:31,576
Uh, skip... Skip...
<i>Skip...</i> Skip...

314
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,011
Okay, great. Here we go.

315
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,013
I don't to see
how your company

316
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,048
Stacks up against
the competition.

317
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,185
Uh... Uh, the end.

318
00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:43,855
Where's mansfield?

319
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,824
Uh, sir, he's unavailable,
but rest assured

320
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,358
He has complete confidence
in me--

321
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,260
As will you, because we are
a great company.

322
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,095
There's lots of great
companies.

323
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,498
But I'm worth
a billion dollars.

324
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,935
So that makes me the hot girl
at the dance.

325
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,570
Trust me, son--

326
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:01,773
I ain't gonna have
no trouble getting laid.

327
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:04,175
Well, we here
at remington trust

328
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,344
Want to be the guy who gets you
in the back of the limo,

329
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,547
And I'm not gonna
finish that thought.

330
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,816
I want to do my banking

331
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:14,352
With people who don't...
Feel like bankers.

332
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,121
Hmm.
First time I met mansfield,

333
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:20,024
He punched a shark
right in the face.

334
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,893
You guys went shark fishing?

335
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,761
No, we were
at the aquarium.

336
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:25,797
(chuckles) that actually
sounds kinda fun.

337
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:27,765
That's what I'm looking for,
right there.

338
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,334
Hell, anybody can show me
numbers.

339
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,502
Show me fun.

340
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,271
I'll go get her.

341
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,376
(clicks tongue)
whoa! 105?

342
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,778
That's the highest temperature
I've ever seen.

343
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,847
Thank you.

344
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:46,050
That's not a compliment!

345
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,186
Sir, we gotta get you
to a doctor.

346
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,054
Why? So I can be told I'm sick

347
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:55,059
By some macho know-it-all
jackass in scrubs?

348
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,495
That's not me!

349
00:14:57,497 --> 00:15:00,098
Hey, mr. Mansfield,
how we feeling?

350
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,067
Oh, great, mr. Moyer--mnh.
Ha ha!

351
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,936
Swallow. Swallow.

352
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:09,140
Oh, grape! Gross!

353
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:12,210
Uh, jenny, can I borrow you
for a second?
Yes, sure.

354
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,845
How's the meeting going?

355
00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:15,580
Great. Good. Not bad.

356
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,882
Bad. The worst.

357
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,817
I need your help.
Wh-what can I do?

358
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:22,120
Well, I need fun, and you are
the funnest person I know.

359
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:25,156
Oh, baby. He didn't like
the presentation?
No.

360
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:32,096
Come on. Come on.

361
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,732
Come to papa! Come on!

362
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,701
Come on!

363
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,636
Damn it! Ahh!

364
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,571
What are you doing?

365
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:43,107
Starving to death.

366
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,109
Okay, how about I give you
the pop-tart,

367
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,444
I let you out of the cage,

368
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,579
And you hook me up
with a new phone?

369
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,982
What's in it for me?

370
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:54,953
A pop-tart
and getting out of a cage.

371
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,588
Okay, yeah, deal. Good.
Okay?

372
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,057
Yeah, yeah.
Good, good, good.
Good, good, good, good.

373
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,525
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
Okay.

374
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,427
Come on!
Okay.

375
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,896
Ahh! (groans)

376
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:06,531
(coughs)

377
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,402
(exhales sharply)

378
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,271
It's been like 15 minutes,
man.

379
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,574
15 feels like 20
when you're in the hole.

380
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,677
Okay, you're out of the cage.
Give me the phone.

381
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,179
All right, look, I lied.

382
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,714
I don't even know
how to do the phones.

383
00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:24,949
I just... I thought I could
do this job alone,

384
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,684
And obviously
it's impossible!

385
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,320
Okay, so...
I help you out, all right?

386
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,022
I-I change my phones
every six months.

387
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,857
If you want, I can, like,
hold your hand

388
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:35,126
Right through this stuff.
Hmm?

389
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:38,596
Hey, look, harvard, man,
we are so sorry--

390
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,098
Told ya.

391
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:46,504
You guys were right.

392
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,773
I needed you all along.
I don't even--

393
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,475
I don't even know how to
register the phones.

394
00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,577
All right,
if I'm being honest,

395
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,445
I don't know
how to do that either, man.

396
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,781
It's easy. He'll hold
your hand right through it.

397
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,217
Thanks, man.
Ahh... Come on.

398
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:04,589
I just want a new phone.

399
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,597
(instrumental lounge music
playing)

400
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,465
(ship horn blows)
you're going to have

401
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,668
An awful lot of fun
aboard the s.S. "remington."

402
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:18,870
Whoa! (laughs)

403
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:21,372
Go long!

404
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,776
But we want to make sure
all the members of the crew

405
00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:26,844
Feel comfortable.

406
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,579
♪

407
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:31,249
Hi! Bill from marketing?
I'm sally from accounting.

408
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:33,951
I'm new here.
Nice to meet you, sally.

409
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,753
Good boobs!

410
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,056
<i>(buzzer)</i>

411
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,659
Now where did bill go wrong?

412
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,095
That's right.
He should have stopped

413
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:46,531
Before saying, "good boobs."

414
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:50,935
But sometimes harassment
can be even more subtle.

415
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,637
Take a look.
(ship horn blows)

416
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,705
Whoa!

417
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,240
You must work out a lot.

418
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,309
And as your boss,
I should tell you,

419
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,611
If you want to get ahead
in this company,

420
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,880
Wear tighter pants!

421
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,615
<i>(buzzer)</i>
<i>ooh!</i>

422
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,851
Inappropriate.

423
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,553
(taps key)

424
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:12,723
You actually show this
to new employees?

425
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:15,259
Yeah. Yeah.
Entry level.
Just entry level.

426
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:18,463
It's fabulous.
Uh, yeah, every lev--

427
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,231
Every level sees it.
I-I--

428
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,200
(laughing) I love it.
I tell ya,

429
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,068
I am so tired of meeting
companies

430
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,603
That are just full of
tight-asses in suits

431
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,505
That it's, uh,
it's refreshing to meet somebody

432
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,407
Doesn't take themselves
so seriously.

433
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,576
(laughing)
oh, yeah, well,
we are total goofballs.

434
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:32,810
Rrr! (laughs)

435
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,312
I take my money seriously.

436
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,614
Yeah.
Not as seriously
as we do.

437
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,550
If you like, I could
show you my presentation now.

438
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,152
Oh, god, no.

439
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,888
Or we can make that presentation
a drinking game.

440
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,691
Every time he shows us
a boring graph, we drink?

441
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,759
Sister, I can't afford
to get that drunk.

442
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,194
(laughs)

443
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:52,230
I gotta be able to fly
my helicopter out of here.

444
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,831
Oh.
All right, um...

445
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,633
Tell you what I'll do.

446
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,335
If will give these numbers
the once-over,

447
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,704
And if they are as good
as you say they are,

448
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:03,508
You just might be able to
take me home from the dance.

449
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,276
Oh...

450
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,044
Yeah, we'd--we'd love that.

451
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:11,315
And remember, you can't spell
remington trust without trust.

452
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,817
That ought to be your slogan.

453
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,324
Mr. Moyer.
What a day, what a day.

454
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,260
Sir! I didn't expect you
to be in.

455
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,594
I heard you had
a 72-hour flu.

456
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,864
I did indeed,
but I crushed it in 18.

457
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:30,801
It's a personal best.
(laughs) not surprised, sir.

458
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,069
True or false?
Hmm?

459
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,372
Mr. Tomkins was very
impressed by you.

460
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,806
True.
True!

461
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,808
True or false--
you just brought in the--

462
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:40,211
The biggest new account
this firm's had this quarter.

463
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:41,712
(singsongy) true!
True!

464
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,749
True or false--
I could not be happier.

465
00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:46,617
(normal voice) true.

466
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,219
False.

467
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,121
I'm really not that good
at this game.

468
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:51,722
Come. Sit with me.

469
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:55,359
Tell you what--ever since
the day I started this firm,

470
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,261
I've looked forward
to finding out

471
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:59,330
Just who I was gonna
pass it on to.

472
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,766
Now that day is getting
a little closer.

473
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,568
Well, it's trickier
than I thought.

474
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,403
Oh, come on, sir.
You have plenty of time.

475
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,338
Oh, don't patronize me,
mr. Moyer.

476
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,807
Even if I continue
to stay fit and eat right,

477
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:12,944
I still only have 60
or 70 good years left in me.

478
00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:15,213
(laughing)

479
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,548
(gasps) oh, you're serious.

480
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,284
Of course I was--I was happy
that you closed the deal.

481
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,053
Hell, I trained you
how to do it.

482
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,422
But that you were able
to do it without me--

483
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:27,725
That's... That's what
pissed me off.

484
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,228
Well, if it makes you feel any
better, I didn't do it alone.

485
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,662
I needed jenny
to save my ass.

486
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:34,098
Well, that makes me feel
quite a bit better.

487
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,366
(chuckles)

488
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,767
For the record, uh,

489
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:39,070
You took quite a bold
initiative there,

490
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,138
Going behind my back.
It reminded me of myself.

491
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:44,442
Oh. Thank you, sir.
Anyway, I'm glad it worked out.

492
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,344
Not so fast.
Yeah?

493
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,913
As I said, you did
go behind my back,

494
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,716
So for that,
there's a consequence.

495
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,718
(phone rings)
mr. Mansfield's office.

496
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,020
(other lines ringing)
mr. Mansfield's office.

497
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,688
(ringing continues)
mr. Mansfield's--mr...

498
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,423
Mr. Mansfield's office.
Mr. Man--

499
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:02,760
Does anyone know how to work
these frickin' phones?