1 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,237 Congratulations, everyone. 2 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,940 We finally made it to the forbes 100. 3 00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:09,508 Holler! Yeah, we did! 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:13,379 The forbes 100 worst places for a woman to work. 5 00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:17,616 If we call them, perhaps we could get a retraction. 6 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,084 I'm sorry, did you say "perhaps"? 7 00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:20,619 Because when I hear a man say "perhaps," 8 00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:23,155 I think perhaps he has no spine, 9 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:27,359 And perhahe should be looking for a new place to work. 10 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,695 Next time you feel confident about something, 11 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,630 Say "definitely." 12 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,999 We can definitely do something to get off that list. 13 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,502 Don't say "definitely" unless you have a plan. 14 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,539 I should not be on that list. 15 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,508 I love women. I respect women. 16 00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:45,110 The most important people in my life are my wife, 17 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:48,280 My daughters, and barbara boxer--my dog! 18 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,384 Let me ask the women here, if this is such a sexist, 19 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,986 Horrible place to work, 20 00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:55,354 Why hasn't anybody said anything? 21 00:00:58,691 --> 00:01:01,326 Oh, son of a bitch! 22 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,998 ♪ 23 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,068 -- Captions by vitac -- 24 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,743 This should not have happened. 25 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,678 I don't base my decisions on gender. 26 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,347 I hire people based on three criteria-- 27 00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:25,184 That they be smart, driven, and have balls. 28 00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,152 And, yes, I heard myself. 29 00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:30,589 Well, we should have known, since threepeat's 30 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,424 The only one who uses the ladies' room. 31 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,726 Yeah, it's the only one with a full-length mirror, so... 32 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,462 Well, there aren't gonna be any more men 33 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,063 Using the ladies' room. 34 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,299 In fact, I'm putting a camera in the ladies' room. 35 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:43,102 And, yes, I heard myself again. 36 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:46,071 The days of this being a boys' club are over. 37 00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:47,673 In fact, I just made the first 38 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,541 Of what are going to be many female hires. 39 00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,211 She is one of the top money managers in the United States. 40 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:55,114 She was top of her class at the harvard business school. 41 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,782 Harvard. I went to harvard. Oh. 42 00:01:56,784 --> 00:02:00,119 Didn't take you long to drop the "I went to harvard" bomb. 43 00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,653 Her name is heather doyle. 44 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,089 Oh, my god! Uh, she's my ex-girlfriend. 45 00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,791 We--we hooked up in business school. 46 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,426 Yeah, and it didn't take you long to drop 47 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:10,162 The "I hooked up in business school" bomb. 48 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,431 Is this going to be a problem for you? 49 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,166 Let me rephrase-- 50 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,768 I don't care if this is going to be a problem for you. 51 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,638 Uh, no. It--there-- there's no problem. 52 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,173 Are you kidding? The... 53 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,708 I-I'm just gonna explain it to jenny. 54 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:25,777 It's totally fine. So, uh, when does this heather start? 55 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,446 Ten minutes. 56 00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,789 Hi. I'm heather doyle. 57 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,391 I'm ten minutes early-- to you. 58 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,692 To me, I'm ten minutes late 59 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,528 Because I like to be 20 minutes early. 60 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,696 Could you validate my parking? Oh, never mind. I got it. 61 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,368 (laughs) I'm sorry. What just happened? 62 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:52,638 (sighs) I just got hired by remington trust. 63 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,240 I am, uh, nine minutes early. Oh. 64 00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,409 So, heather, uh, let's get you into the system, yeah? 65 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,844 Great. (laughs) derrick, we need an I.D. Here. 66 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,612 Yeah. All right. Grab a seat. Oh! 67 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,648 I must warn you, no matter what you do, 68 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:05,250 You will appear to be cross-eyed. 69 00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,819 Well, I used to take bad photos, 70 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,489 So I took a weekend seminar, "never take a bad photo," 71 00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,357 And I haven't since. 72 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,594 The trick is to act like you're biting an invisible apple. 73 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,296 (shutter clicks) 74 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,932 Hey, damn! Bite that invisible apple, girl! 75 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,801 No way, harvard! 76 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,803 You are not coming with us to karaoke. 77 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,239 No offense, but you suck. 78 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,540 (scoffs) I'm sorry! 79 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,442 Have you heard me sing "american pie"? 80 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,810 Yes. 81 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,412 And it's way too long, man. 82 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,314 And then you start making up your own words. 83 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,815 People want to know what happened 84 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,817 After he drove the chevy to the levee, derrick. 85 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,353 Hey! You went to harvard? 86 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,721 Mm-hmm. What? 87 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,157 Not you. Did you know a guy named brody? 88 00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:46,358 At harvard? What? 89 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,626 Not you. 90 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,595 Are you talking about brody moyer? 91 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:52,798 Yeah, yeah! He works upstairs. I'm actually dating him. 92 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,701 Oh, my god! I used to date him at harvard. 93 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,803 What? What? 94 00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,606 Hey, uh, jenny-- 95 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,407 Brody! Brody! 96 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,576 (chuckles) heather, jenny. So you guys have met. 97 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,211 Great! Yeah. 98 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,813 Oh, that's wonderful. I was--I was worried. 99 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,448 You know? I was actually thinking-- 100 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,782 You're gonna love this. I'm gonna love this. 101 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,317 By the way, heather, you look wonderful. 102 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,685 Oh! I mean, you know what I mean? 103 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,320 You look amazing, too, jenny, of course, 104 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,822 But I feel like when someone's wearing red, 105 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,690 You kind of have to-- that's a guaranteed, like-- 106 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,592 You have to say something about that. (laughs) 107 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,495 You've had sex with both of them. 108 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,601 Just trying to move everything along here. 109 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,703 Heather, jenny, I'm glad you guys have met. 110 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,605 There's no reason for this to be awkward. 111 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:37,376 So... How long were you two lovers? 112 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,211 Don't say "lovers." 113 00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:40,545 All right, I'm sorry. 114 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:43,882 How long did you two make-a the sex, huh? 115 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,888 (clicks tongue) don't say "make-a the sex." 116 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,925 I should get upstairs. 117 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,361 Brody, maybe we can catch up more during lunch. 118 00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:58,864 Oh, well, actually, I'm gonna have lunch today with jenny. 119 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,632 Oh. You should totally come. 120 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,335 I'd love to. Are you sure it won't be weird? 121 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,337 No-- yeah, are you sure it won't be weird? 122 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,906 No. No, no, no. I'm totally not that girl. 123 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,509 Yeah. Cool, cool, cool. Um, you know, more, the merrier. 124 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,744 (chuckles) 125 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,012 Hold on, hold on. 126 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,847 I don't think I'm stepping over any line here 127 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,749 When I say personally I'd like to see 128 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:20,719 You two get back together! Get in there! Oh! (laughs) 129 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,261 Welcome to the team, heather. 130 00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:31,363 Since you're new here, why don't I fill you in 131 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,332 On how things are gonna work, huh? 132 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:36,335 Brody and I are top dogs-- los pollos locos. 133 00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,503 Mm. 134 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,572 But I don't want you to be intimidated. 135 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,774 Aw! You're so sweet. 136 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:46,011 Let me tell you how this is gonna work. 137 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:49,381 I'm gonna take your accounts, your clients, 138 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:52,551 And then I'm gonna eat your lunch. 139 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,421 I will see you in the ladies' room. 140 00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:58,724 Hmm. 141 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:01,293 Hey, heather, I hope threepeat warned you. 142 00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:02,994 Mansfield can get a little intense 143 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,496 In these morning meetings. 144 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,465 Especially after he sees our numbers 145 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:07,666 From the chicago office. 146 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,301 They suck. (chuckles) oh... 147 00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:10,969 I'll just follow your lead. (giggles) 148 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,105 (under breath) I will eat your lunch. 149 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,411 Gentlemen, lady... 150 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,448 I want to take this opportunity to welcome 151 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,618 The newest member of our team-- heather doyle. 152 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:30,789 Despite what you may have read in a certain financial magazine, 153 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,592 I think you'll find this environment is not, quote, 154 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:35,360 "so high in testosterone, 155 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:38,497 You might as well be working inside of a testicle." 156 00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:43,435 Pleasure to be here, sir. Lovely to have you. 157 00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:45,404 Mr. Moyer, are the numbers in from our chicago office? 158 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,973 Uh, yes, I am afraid so. 159 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,941 Huh. 160 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,477 (forced laugh) huh... (inhales sharply) 161 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,780 Gosh, it seems these people 162 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,982 Have lost me a great deal of money. 163 00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:01,353 Such is our business. (claps hands) 164 00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:04,956 Mr. Mansfield, given the chicago office's poor performance, 165 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,726 Perhaps they're in need of more oversight. 166 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,594 "perhaps"? (chuckles) mm-hmm. 167 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,632 Perhaps you're right. (chuckles) mm-hmm. 168 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,635 Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. 169 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:21,773 (high-pitch voice, giggles) ah, it's a beautiful day! 170 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,378 You never diversify mezzanine c.D.O.S 171 00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,447 In exchange-traded market segments! 172 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,082 Yeah, it's like trying to monetize credit swaps 173 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,517 In the derivatives market. 174 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,085 (forced laugh) (laughing) totally! 175 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,921 I mean, if you want to incentivize me, 176 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,557 Don't collateralize my bonds, am I right? 177 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,158 (laughing) (forced laughing) 178 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,893 Speaking of which, 179 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:46,064 Is anybody gonna eativize that eggplant? Ha ha! 180 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:49,067 'cause you guys were using "ize" words. 181 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,637 Sorry, jenny, these are just inside jokes. Oh. 182 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,673 (laughs) it's okay. We have inside jokes, too, 183 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,641 Like... (laughs) this one time, 184 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,044 I laughed so hard that I farted. 185 00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,084 It wasn't a big one, though-- please don't. 186 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,053 Okay. 187 00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:11,723 Well, anyway, we should do this again soon. Yeah, totally. 188 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,425 Yeah, hey, how about tonight? 189 00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:15,494 What? No, tonight's our karaoke night. 190 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,562 It's--it's kind of our thing. Yeah. You should totally come. 191 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,598 Oh, I don't want to intrude. Oh, no! 192 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,434 Hey, it'd be fun to get together outside of the office. 193 00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,436 You're cool! Yeah, she's cool. 194 00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:25,971 (laughs) yeah. I'm cool. 195 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,572 (elevator bell dings) 196 00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:32,677 Hey, heather, I think we got off on the wrong foot yesterday. 197 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,946 Oh, thank you! Is this soy? 198 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,715 Uh, no, it's not. Oh. 199 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,550 Because it's mine. 200 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,619 Uh, but I suppose I could zip down 201 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:43,154 And grab you another one. Great! Extra hot and two stevias. 202 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:46,191 Oh, and while you're down there, would you mind... 203 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,893 Dropping off my dry cleaning? 204 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,227 You got it. 205 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,130 (forced laugh) what am I doing? 206 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:58,069 ♪ he took the last train for the coast ♪ 207 00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,504 ♪ the day 208 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,240 ♪ the music died 209 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,876 I'll tell you what's killing music--illegal downloads. 210 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,645 I'll tell you... 211 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,581 That and that bieber kid. What's his deal, huh? (laughs) 212 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:13,084 But anyways... ♪ bye-bye, miss american... 213 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,987 Jobs, because they're going to china. 214 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,522 To china! 215 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,190 Look at me! 216 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,893 You guys are great. I love you so much. Thank you. 217 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,795 (booing) 218 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,163 Oh, boo! 219 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,032 I love your hatred! I bathe in it! 220 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,800 It makes my beard grow! 221 00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:32,170 Man, that heather is fine! 222 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,172 If I knew business schools had girls like that, 223 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,141 I would have went there, majored in accounting, 224 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:38,310 And taxed that ass! 225 00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:41,046 You okay, boo? 226 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,981 Look, I know that I can't compete with heather, 227 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,683 You know, in the business world, 228 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,284 But that's why I invited her tonight. 229 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,853 'cause here, surrounded by friends in a bar 230 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:51,256 That smells like old beer and hot wings 231 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,659 And just a hint of urine-- this is my house! 232 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,194 Amen. 233 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:57,796 (laughs) jenny, jenny, jenny, 234 00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,631 Jenny, jenny, jenny, jenny, jenny. 235 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,800 If you love someone, set them free. 236 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,702 If they hook up with an ex-girlfriend 237 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,136 And they start a family, 238 00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:08,073 Well, then I was always yours to begin with. 239 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:11,576 Okay, I got you a beer, and the songbook, 240 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,244 And what is that on page 9? 241 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,180 Is that "islands in the stream"? (gasps) 242 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:18,316 Oh, that is what we are, babe. Oh, yeah. 243 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,920 You're not gonna believe what song I picked. 244 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,822 Is it "bitch, meet my fist"? 245 00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:29,928 Think... Second year finals party. 246 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,796 (laughing) oh, my god! You didn't! 247 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:32,998 I did. You didn't. 248 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,799 I did. You did not. 249 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,202 I-- I feel like she probably did. (laughs nervously) 250 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,903 ("baby one more time" playing) I can't believe you did this. 251 00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:41,072 Do you mind if I steal him? Nope. Go. Ha ha. 252 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,841 It's just something goofy we used to do. 253 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,843 I love goof. (forced laugh) 254 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,712 ♪ oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ oh 255 00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,914 ♪ oh, baby, baby 256 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,984 ♪ how was I supposed to know ♪ 257 00:10:54,286 --> 00:10:57,956 ♪ that something wasn't right, yeah? ♪ 258 00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,991 ♪ oh, baby, baby 259 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:05,597 ♪ I shouldn't have let you go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 260 00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,199 ♪ and now you're out of sight ♪ ♪ yeah 261 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:11,636 ♪ my loneliness is killing me ♪ 262 00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,138 ♪ and I 263 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:17,275 ♪ I must confess I still believe ♪ 264 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:18,910 ♪ still believe 265 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:22,013 ♪ when I'm not with you I lose my mind ♪ 266 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:26,151 ♪ give me a sign 267 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,620 ♪ hit me, baby, one more time ♪ 268 00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:31,056 (music stops) (cheers and applause) 269 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:34,292 (harvard) all right! (cheering continues) 270 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,094 Get married! Get married! 271 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,402 Hey, there you are. 272 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,137 After you slipped out last night, I called you 273 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,906 A bunch of times and it went straight to voicemail. 274 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,274 I think your phone's broken. 275 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,875 Hmm, yeah, it's doing this really weird thing 276 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,812 Where when I see it's you calling, I hit "ignore." 277 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,147 Okay, so you're mad at me? 278 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,650 Mad? Mad... At you? (laughs) why would I be mad at you? 279 00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:00,685 Because you spent all last night singing duets 280 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,187 With your ex-girlfriend? 281 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,755 She's pitchy, by the way. 282 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,724 (chuckles) what? No, she's not. 283 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:09,160 No! No, she's not! 284 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,428 Hold on. I don't understand. 285 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,063 You said it was okay if I sang with her. 286 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,698 Well, yeah, but I didn't realize 287 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,366 You were gonna put on a concert. 288 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,202 Three songs? Come on! 289 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:20,071 Actually, we sang four songs. 290 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,974 Four? You--you've never sang four songs with me. 291 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,243 We usually do two, and then you get tired halfway through 292 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,246 And I have to finish by myself. 293 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,148 Look, I was drunk. It happened so fast. 294 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,383 I was thinking of you the whole time! Oh, please! 295 00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,919 Hey! You're the one who invited heather. 296 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,888 Yeah, I did, because I wanted to show her 297 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,957 How good we were together, and instead, 298 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,860 She showed me how good you guys are together. 299 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,729 I mean, better than good. You're perfect together. 300 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,264 Everyone in the whole place saw it. 301 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,433 Why did you guys even break up in the first place? 302 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,835 Well, it was obvious it wasn't gonna work out. 303 00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:52,704 Why not? 304 00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:54,773 You know, because we both moved to different cities 305 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,174 After we graduated. 306 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,742 (laughing) wow, there's just... 307 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,477 No way to overcome that one. 308 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,279 Oh, wait a minute, there is one way-- 309 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,981 Like if she moved here! 310 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,183 Okay, you know what? It wasn't just that. 311 00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,851 She was so competitive. 312 00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:09,053 She and I were always fighting over closet space. 313 00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,925 You lived together? 314 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:17,862 I'm sorry, what... Was that? 315 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,197 Brody, brody, brody. 316 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,932 Just look me in the eye right now 317 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:24,169 And tell me that she is not exactly the kind of woman 318 00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,204 That you always envisioned yourself with. 319 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,275 Ugh... You're perfect together. 320 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,043 You guys have everything in common. 321 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:35,013 You know, your ambition and your business suits, 322 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,448 And let's not forget your precious harvard! 323 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,250 What? Not you! 324 00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,358 Well, these are some pretty impressive résumés. 325 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,893 Well, they should be. They're 40 of the best 326 00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,029 Female money managers in the country. 327 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,831 Lookit, the days of this place 328 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,767 Being a men's locker room are over. 329 00:13:55,769 --> 00:13:58,036 So no more post-deal ass slapping? 330 00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:00,305 Regretfully, no. 331 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,274 I-I can't slap a man's ass in the workplace 332 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,443 And not also slap a woman's ass, 333 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,213 And I can't slap a woman's ass, so I... 334 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,548 I can't slap any ass! 335 00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:13,885 Look, I gotta confess to you, 336 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:17,055 This whole experience has been quite freeing for me. 337 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,391 You see, I've managed to tap into my feminine side. 338 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:25,463 So tell me, how are things with you in here? 339 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:28,266 (sighs) well, actually, jenny's... 340 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,268 Feeling threatened by heather? 341 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,203 Yeah. How did you know that? 342 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,638 Intuition. 343 00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:38,376 Of course jenny is feeling threatened by heather. 344 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,445 You and heather are... 345 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,046 Well, you're the perfect merger. 346 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,481 You went to the same school together, 347 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,149 You speak the same language-- 348 00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,885 Hell, you'd spawn a race of super-children 349 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,353 I'd hire in a minute. 350 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:52,156 On paper, you two are an ideal match. 351 00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:55,026 Well, we did finish one and two in our class. 352 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,161 I won't say who was number one, but, you know... 353 00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,364 I was. 354 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:02,066 Well, if you were so perfect together, why'd you break up? 355 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,968 Well, we moved to different cities. 356 00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,237 (high-pitched whistle) 357 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,972 Wrong! Okay, I can see 358 00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:10,875 You're back in touch with your masculine side. 359 00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,978 You broke up with her because you weren't in love with her. 360 00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:17,081 This, uh... This is a picture of my wife. 361 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,616 You can look at it long enough 362 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,318 To see how beautiful she is, 363 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,153 But not so long that it gets awkward. 364 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,155 And that should do the trick. 365 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,326 Let me ask you, do you-- 366 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,495 Do you think our relationship was made any easier 367 00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,230 By the fact that we were both 368 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,933 Powerful investment bankers when we got started? 369 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,334 Yes. 370 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,902 She didn't even have a bank account 371 00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,938 When we got started. 372 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,472 We had nothing in common. 373 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,942 She was a painter, and I was... 374 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,377 Well, I was impressive. 375 00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:49,247 See this painting? 376 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,250 This painting is-- is one of hers. 377 00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:56,321 The yellow splotch on gray. 378 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:59,624 Yes. She calls it "yellow splotch on gray." 379 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,526 Right. 380 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,494 You know what this painting means? 381 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,664 Uh, well, I'm guessing the gray could represent hopelessness, 382 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:10,401 And I'm thinking the yellow splotch can be an egg. 383 00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:13,204 No. 384 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,406 It means I love my wife. 385 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,975 And every time I look at this painting, 386 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,110 I'm reminded of just how much I do love her. 387 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:23,147 You understand, on paper, we had nothing in common. 388 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,717 But god knows, you don't fall in love on paper, do you, son? 389 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,420 (pats back) uh, I gotta go. 390 00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:34,392 Holy smokes. 391 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,194 I think that is an egg. 392 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,103 Uh, we are closed. 393 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,038 Yeah, I just-- I wanna talk to jenny. 394 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,573 Well, I don't want to talk to you. 395 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,375 Step off, bitch. 396 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:55,346 Listen, I screwed up, and I'm really sorry. 397 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,982 But you are the only person in the world 398 00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,018 That I want to sing with. 399 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,020 Oh, brody, don't. 400 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,655 Yeah. Karaoke is over, as are you two, 401 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,191 So let's get out of here, guys. 402 00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:13,064 ♪ right from the start 403 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:16,667 ♪ you were a thief, you stole my heart ♪ 404 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,471 ♪ and I your willing victim 405 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:24,108 (singsongy) no one's listening! 406 00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:29,714 ♪ I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty ♪ 407 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:33,751 ♪ and with every touch you fixed them ♪ 408 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,723 (exhales) 409 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,191 (chuckles) 410 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,763 ♪ now you've been talking in your sleep ♪ 411 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,432 ♪ oh, oh 412 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:51,369 ♪ things you never say to me 413 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,703 ♪ oh, oh 414 00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:56,574 ♪ tell me that you've had enough ♪ 415 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,277 ♪ of our love 416 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:03,081 ♪ our love 417 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,383 ♪ just give me a reason 418 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,785 ♪ just a little bit's enough 419 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:11,556 ♪ just a second, we're not broken, just bent ♪ 420 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,392 ♪ and we can learn to love again ♪ 421 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,394 ♪ it's in the stars 422 00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:19,263 ♪ it's been written in the scars on our hearts ♪ 423 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:22,066 ♪ that we're not broken, just bent ♪ 424 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:25,837 ♪ and we can learn to love again ♪ 425 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:30,408 ♪ and we can learn to love again ♪ 426 00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:43,788 So, the place downstairs couldn't get the stain out, 427 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,724 But I found a place in jackson square that could. 428 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,729 So, uh, if there's nothing else... 429 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,832 Go ahead. Good work today. 430 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,201 Yes! What? (giggles) 431 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,439 Heather, could I speak with you for a moment? 432 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,541 Oh. I, uh, I just want to tell you 433 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,510 What a delight it's been to have you with us here 434 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,111 The last couple of days, and I sure hope 435 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,447 Nothing has prevented you from feeling comfortable 436 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,617 While you've been here. Can I speak frankly, sir? 437 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,685 Sure. I wish you would. I took this job 438 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,787 Because I heard you were a hard-ass boss 439 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:19,190 Who would push me to be the best that I could be, 440 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,259 And you're treating me like some kind of princess, 441 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,227 And it's bullshit! 442 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,730 No wonder the chicago office is going in the crapper. 443 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:29,500 I feel like I'm the only one in this company with balls! 444 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,838 That's fantastic! 445 00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,642 How, uh... 446 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,111 How would you like to run my chicago office for me? 447 00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:42,213 I'd love to. Good. 448 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,748 You start Monday. (gasps) 449 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,683 Oh... One other thing. 450 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,251 Please don't confuse me 451 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:49,620 With some jackass you meet out in the street. 452 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:52,723 I am your boss, so watch your (bleep) mouth. 453 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,326 Go get 'em! 454 00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:01,832 (laughing) a toast to the chicago office! 455 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,267 Hear, hear! Whoo! 456 00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:05,303 Mmm. Why do you have to go? 457 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:08,906 ("locked out of heaven" playing) guys, let's go. We're up. 458 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,741 Whoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Ooh! 459 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,543 Oh! I love this song! 460 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,645 Heather, get your cute butt up here. 461 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,247 Yes! 462 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:19,283 ♪ 463 00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:20,751 Let's kill this. Let's go. 464 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,753 Okay, that's not gonna happen. 465 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,255 Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. 466 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,857 ♪ I never had much faith in love ♪ 467 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,893 ♪ or miracles 468 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,695 Great job, babe. ♪ huh 469 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:34,765 ♪ I never wanna put my heart on the line ♪ 470 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,634 ♪ 471 00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,369 ♪ huh 472 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:42,306 ♪ swimming in your water is something spiritual ♪ 473 00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:44,208 ♪ ooh, oh, oh ♪ huh 474 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:48,846 ♪ I'm born again every time you spend the n-I-I-ight ♪ 475 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,681 ♪ ...I-I-ight ♪ huh 476 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,718 ♪ 'cause your sex takes me to paradise ♪ 477 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,188 ♪ yeah, your sex takes me to paradise ♪ 478 00:20:57,190 --> 00:21:00,791 ♪ and it sho-o-ows 479 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:03,527 ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah 480 00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:05,730 ♪ 'cause you make me feel like 481 00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:08,833 ♪ I've been locked out of heaven ♪ 482 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,704 ♪ for too long 483 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,641 ♪ for too lo-o-ong