1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,920 {\an1}This programme contains strong language, adult humour 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:07,880 {\an1}and some shocking scenes some viewers may find upsetting. 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,600 {\an1}This is a nightmare. We'd never have bought them 4 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,120 {\an1}if I knew you wouldn't be able to get them on. 5 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:13,480 {\an1}- They're such a tight fit. - Oh, for God's sake. - It's probably because 6 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,360 {\an1}I've got high blood pressure. And my feet are puffing. 7 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:17,720 {\an1}- Don't say you're going to be trapped in these boots. - No. Um... 8 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,280 {\an1}I literally am going to have to get a strong man... 9 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,040 {\an1}Oh, no, they're coming, they're coming. That's fantastic, Mary. 10 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,640 {\an1}Do you think I should have got size 11s? 11 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:27,120 {\an1}THEY SCREAM 12 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,560 {\an1}Her flabbers have been gasted. 13 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,600 {\an1}You want some of...this? 14 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,920 {\an1}All of this. 15 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,240 {\an1}- Look. - Oh! 16 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:36,400 {\an1}No! 17 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,480 {\an1}Oh, now there's a controversial statement. The gravy. 18 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:40,760 {\an1}SHE CACKLES 19 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:43,040 {\an1}- Yes! - Yeah. 20 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,000 {\an1}- Do you like this music? - No, not particularly. 21 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,280 {\an1}So suck on that. 22 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,280 {\an1}Oh, wow! 23 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,040 {\an1}He's been a bad boy. 24 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,000 {\an1}Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that. 25 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,160 {\an1}Not a chance, Julie. 26 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:54,200 {\an1} Oh! 27 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,520 {\an1}Yes. Look at that. 28 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,080 {\an1}He's had an absolute feast. 29 00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,600 {\an1}What?! 30 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,880 {\an1}For a banana?! 31 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,200 {\an1}This is insane. 32 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,000 {\an1}Well, thank God that's over. 33 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,320 {\an1}I've got a headache, Ron. 34 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:09,000 {\an1}It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this. 35 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,680 {\an1}That's very modern, isn't it, Nutty? 36 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,240 {\an1}- No-one saw that coming. - No. 37 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,080 {\an1}In the week, a runaway reindeer named Buddy sparked 38 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:19,000 {\an1}an emergency rescue operation in Formby, 39 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,000 {\an1}we enjoyed lots of great telly. 40 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:27,040 {\an1}BBC One was treating us to some marvellous miniatures. 41 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,720 {\an1}What are we going to be doing for you today, please? 42 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,720 {\an1}Well, I would love to have a model made of the library 43 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,200 {\an1}that I used as a child. 44 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:38,040 {\an1}I do take Ezra to library to story time sometimes. 45 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,040 {\an1}We haven't been for a while, to be honest. 46 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,800 {\an1}Couldn't go this morning cos I had to go for me Botox top-up. 47 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:50,480 {\an1}- Sorry, Ezra. - Sorry, Ezra. - No library for you. Mummy needs Botox! 48 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,040 {\an1}Freddie Flintoff had us up for a game of darts on ITV. 49 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,200 {\an1}- Graham, I heard that you used to be in the police. - I did, yeah. 50 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,000 {\an1}And as you look around half of this Manchester audience... 51 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 52 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,920 {\an1}- Don't worry, he's retired. - Yeah. 53 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,720 {\an1}Is Freddie stood on something? 54 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,040 {\an1}Like a milk crate? 55 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,360 {\an1}I'm not sure. Remember, he was a cricketeer, wasn't he? 56 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,000 {\an1}- Yeah. - So he's, uh, tall anyway. 57 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,440 {\an1}- A what, what? - A cricketeer. 58 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,240 {\an1}- You play cricket. - Cricketer. - Huh? 59 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,960 {\an1}- Cricketer. - Not cricketeer? 60 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,960 {\an1}- No. - Yeah. 61 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,000 {\an1}That as well. 62 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,880 {\an1}What is someone who plays football? 63 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,000 {\an1}Footballeer. 64 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:29,040 {\an1}And Ed Sheeran was giving it his best shot on Netflix. 65 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,040 {\an1}And my song Perfect gets used for a lot of proposals, 66 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,720 {\an1}a lot of weddings. So, um, I'm going to sing it. 67 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,360 {\an1}He's going to propose. Hopefully, she says yes. 68 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,800 {\an1}To be fair, I'm glad Ben didn't get Ed Sheeran 69 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,120 {\an1}playing at our engagement situation. 70 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,040 {\an1}I don't think he'd have been able to afford it. 71 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,480 {\an1}Well, also, I'm not that big of a fan. 72 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,920 {\an1}Yeah. You'd have probably preferred JLS. 73 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,240 {\an1}Although they wouldn't have fitted into a hotel room. 74 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,000 {\an1}Just me, Ben and JLS. 75 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,200 {\an1}In Hull... 76 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,680 {\an1}Oh. Do you know, I haven't opened 77 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,640 {\an1}my advent calendar - 1st of December, innit? 78 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,920 {\an1}..best friends Jenny and Lee. 79 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:13,880 {\an1}Ooh. 80 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,000 {\an1}Number one, where is it? 81 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,280 {\an1}Why is it...? Who's opened this? 82 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,200 {\an1}What? 83 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,600 {\an1}I ain't opened it. 84 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,880 {\an1}- You have. - I haven't. 85 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,000 {\an1}What are you eat...? 86 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:35,040 {\an1}I can tell - Look at your face. I can tell when you're lying. 87 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,000 {\an1}You've already opened it, haven't you? 88 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,000 {\an1}Oh, don't be greedy, Lee. 89 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:40,040 {\an1}I thought I'd start it off for you. 90 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,280 {\an1}- I thought I'd start it off for you. - LEE LAUGHS 91 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,000 {\an1}- It's stuck to the roof of me mouth. - Good! 92 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,040 {\an1}This week, a global superstar went 93 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,040 {\an1}for a stroll around the Big Apple on Netflix. 94 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,160 {\an1}Ed Sheeran was busking at his start, and you used to busk. 95 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,440 {\an1}- Yeah, yeah. - So what went wrong? 96 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,560 {\an1}Why are you sat with me? 97 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,000 {\an1}I don't mind Ed Sheeran. 98 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,840 {\an1}He's inoffensive. He's vanilla. 99 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,200 {\an1}He's vanilla, is what he is. He's a crowd pleaser. 100 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,040 {\an1}It's like he's doing a live gig on 101 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:18,000 {\an1}the streets of New York, and it's all in one take. 102 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,000 {\an1}PLAYS SHAPE OF YOU 103 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,520 {\an1}Do you not remember there was a time when Shape of You 104 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,320 {\an1}was on the radio and you could not avoid that for about five years? 105 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,000 {\an1}It still is. 106 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,120 {\an1}# I'm in love with your body 107 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,440 {\an1}# Oh, I, oh, I, oh, I, oh, I, oh... # 108 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,840 {\an1}# Come on now, follow my lead 109 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,120 {\an1}# Come, come on now, follow my lead... # 110 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,360 {\an1}# I'm in love with the shape of you 111 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,000 {\an1}# Like a magnet do... # 112 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,960 {\an1}Sorry, I'm getting into it. I can't. 113 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,800 {\an1}- You're doing too much. - I can't. 114 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,040 {\an1}I'm very boring but I don't like this sort of music at all. 115 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,800 {\an1}- Do you think if you kept listening to it, you'd like it? - No. 116 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,240 {\an1}# I'm in love with... # You all good? You all good? 117 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,880 {\an1}- Yeah, we're good. - Oh, we'll just finish there, then. 118 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,240 {\an1}I don't really think he has to rehearse, though, 119 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,000 {\an1}- do you, really? - Well, he might - it's to get the sound check. 120 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,240 {\an1}Oh, all right, roadie. 121 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,680 {\an1}Where are you going? Where are you going, Ed? 122 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:10,520 {\an1}- Ah. - The story continues. 123 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,160 {\an1}- Hey, man, how are you? - Good, how are you? 124 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,880 {\an1}- Can you take me to the High Line, please? - Yeah. 125 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,040 {\an1}Does he know who he is? 126 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,040 {\an1}- Do you know who he is? - Do you know who he is? - That's Ed Sheeran. 127 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,000 {\an1}This guy got in touch for... I have like songs that people use 128 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,240 {\an1}in their weddings. 129 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,560 {\an1}Oh, pick that one up. 130 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,600 {\an1}- You're a bit of a name, like, are you? - Yeah. Who are you? 131 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,000 {\an1}Who are you? I'll tell the wife when I get home. 132 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,240 {\an1}She'll probably know who you are. 133 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,600 {\an1}And this guy's going to propose to his girlfriend, 134 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,000 {\an1}so I thought I'd go and surprise him. 135 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,040 {\an1}Oh, my God, I would die. 136 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:38,800 {\an1}What would you do if Nat proposed to you and Ed Sheeran showed up? 137 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,200 {\an1}I mean, I feel like Ed Sheeran showing up would be more believable 138 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,800 {\an1}- than... - Nat proposing. 139 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,880 {\an1}# I found a love 140 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,840 {\an1}# For me... # 141 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,120 {\an1}- Wow. - He's just going straight into it. 142 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,280 {\an1}Why is he singing it now? 143 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,000 {\an1}Oh, I love this song - it makes me cry. 144 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,960 {\an1}Oh, for fuck's sake. 145 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:59,000 {\an1}# Darling, you look perfect tonight 146 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,240 {\an1}Oh, did you see her? She went... 147 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,840 {\an1}- Double take! - Flippin' hell! It's Ed Sheeran! 148 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,200 {\an1}I tell you what, I would turn my mobility scooter round 149 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,560 {\an1}and follow him, if he was doing this. 150 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,160 {\an1}# To carry more than just my secrets... # 151 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,520 {\an1}- This is the couple. Here's the couple. - There they are. 152 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,000 {\an1}- Oh, they're there. They're there. They're there. - Oh, look. 153 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,000 {\an1}# Of our own 154 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:18,040 {\an1}# We are still kids 155 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,520 {\an1}# We are still kids and we're so... # 156 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,280 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh! 157 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,120 {\an1}- Look. Goose bumps. Literally. - I know, I have. 158 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,640 {\an1}I'd forget about the proposal. 159 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,040 {\an1}I'd be like, "Forget this man, I'm here for Ed Sheeran." 160 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,000 {\an1}- I'd be staring at him the whole time. - Yeah! 161 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,280 {\an1}"Oh, my God, you're here." 162 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,520 {\an1}- ED CONTINUES TO SING - You are the most amazing, 163 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,800 {\an1}beautiful girl in the world. 164 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,240 {\an1}Ed, can you shut up a minute? I can't hear what he's saying. 165 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,000 {\an1}I got one question. 166 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,560 {\an1}Will you marry me? 167 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,000 {\an1}Oh, what's she going to say? 168 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,840 {\an1}Course she's going to say yes. 169 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:45,840 {\an1}Yes! 170 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,000 {\an1}Oh, that is lovely. 171 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,480 {\an1}Oh, she said yes. 172 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,320 {\an1}Well, she couldn't hardly say no, could she? 173 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,760 {\an1}Bloody hell, imagine he pulled out big guns with Ed Sheeran 174 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,000 {\an1}and she said no. 175 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,360 {\an1}ED CONTINUES TO SING 176 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,280 {\an1}CHEERING 177 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,040 {\an1}Oh, he's going in the Subway! 178 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,480 {\an1}- Don't say he's patronising... - Yes. - ..some more people. 179 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:04,480 {\an1}Yeah. 180 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,480 {\an1}What's going on? 181 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,000 {\an1}Oh, is he going to perform on the train? 182 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,480 {\an1}I wouldn't appreciate that. 183 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,040 {\an1}I'd already be overstimulated in that environment. 184 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:19,040 {\an1}And then Ed Sheeran's there with his flippin' rinky-tink guitar. 185 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,000 {\an1}- Do you guys want a song? - Yes. 186 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:21,040 {\an1}"Would you like a song?" 187 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,320 {\an1}- "Would you like a song?" - "Would you like a song?" 188 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,560 {\an1}What else are you good for, Ed? 189 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,360 {\an1}What about singing a song that we've actually heard of, Ed? 190 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:32,960 {\an1}- Like Streets of London by... - Ralph McTell. - ..Ralph McTell. 191 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:37,040 {\an1}# The sweet perfume of the mountain grass I rolled down... # 192 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,560 {\an1}Do you know what? This feels a bit too orchestrated for me, this. 193 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,320 {\an1}Because all these people are very glam. 194 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,680 {\an1}- I just love her in the brown top! - Yeah. 195 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,200 {\an1}To Castle on the Hill! 196 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,080 {\an1}# Driving at 90... # 197 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,600 {\an1}Get that guitar in your hand. Play me a bit of Ed Sheeran. 198 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:57,920 {\an1}Right, what's it worth? 199 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,240 {\an7}- What's it worth to you? - "Chuck me a tenner." 200 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,440 {\an1}THEY LAUGH 201 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,960 {\an1}- Erm... - I could hear it - I could hear it there. 202 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,320 {\an1}- You could hear? - No, no, I could hear what that was. - First note. 203 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,040 {\an1}# When your legs don't work like they used to before... # 204 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,360 {\an1}Don't look at me when you play that, please. That's uncomfortable. 205 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,360 {\an1}- Yeah, try not to lock eyes. - Mm. 206 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,480 {\an1}In Caerphilly... 207 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,040 {\an1}I don't know if you've noticed. 208 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,000 {\an1}I like to take a hard boiled sweet to bed. 209 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,320 {\an1}Yeah, I have. 210 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,640 {\an1}..Dave and his wife Shirley. 211 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,960 {\an1}You've got some Werther's out there, haven't you? 212 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:31,320 {\an1}- Aye. - When do you buy them, then? 213 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,240 {\an1}I can't remember, I bought them in the week. Specifically for 214 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,040 {\an1}having a sweet to go to bed. 215 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,000 {\an1}- Oh, right. - Because as I say goodnight... 216 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,040 {\an1}- Oh, yeah, I know. - ..I go up there. 217 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:46,000 {\an1}- Yeah. - And I... - You say, no, I'm going to bed now. 218 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,840 {\an1}- I'm off, then. - Yeah, I know. 219 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,520 {\an1}I think, "Thank fuck for that." 220 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,720 {\an1}I can have what I fucking want on. 221 00:08:55,720 --> 00:09:00,080 {\an1}On Monday, it was all about the little things on BBC One. 222 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,880 {\an1}Good things come in small packages. 223 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,240 {\an1}That's what Mum always used to say to me when I was growing up. 224 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,000 {\an1}I don't understand people that want to make things in miniature. 225 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,320 {\an1}You just want it big. 226 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,040 {\an1}I want everything big. 227 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,880 {\an1}They say it's the little things that mean the most. 228 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,160 {\an1}That's true. 229 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,920 {\an1}And in this series, we're taking that to heart. 230 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,120 {\an1}Oh, look at that. 231 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,400 {\an1}This is up my mam's street, this. 232 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,040 {\an1}She loves little shit like that. 233 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,000 {\an1}The craft and skill of our team, of miniaturists... 234 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,560 {\an1}Miniaturists. 235 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:32,840 {\an1}- There's all sorts of ists now, isn't there? - Nudist. - Yeah. 236 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,120 {\an1}Naturist. Miniaturist. 237 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,480 {\an1}Yeah. Vapist. 238 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,040 {\an1}..shines through in every delicate detail. 239 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,040 {\an1}I've got stupidly fat fingers like Richmond sausages. 240 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,440 {\an1}There's no way I could do anything like that. 241 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:48,040 {\an1}Welcome to The Marvellous Miniature Workshop. 242 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:51,040 {\an1}If I was going to have a model done, I think... 243 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,840 {\an1}- Pontygwindy pub would be yours, wouldn't it? - What?! 244 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,720 {\an1}Pontygwindy pub. 245 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,000 {\an1}No. Not necessarily, Shirl. 246 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:58,960 {\an1}All right. 247 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,520 {\an1}Leah, welcome to the workshop. 248 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,080 {\an1}What are we going to be doing for you today, please? 249 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:07,080 {\an1}Well, I would love to have a model made of the library that I used 250 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,240 {\an1}as a child. 251 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,000 {\an1}- Aw. - Ooh. 252 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,560 {\an1}- Oh. - Why? 253 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,000 {\an1}Our library was good. 254 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:13,040 {\an1}Why would you want 255 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,680 {\an1}Why would you want the fucking library? 256 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,360 {\an1}- Well, because it brings back memories. - Sh! 257 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,760 {\an1}I mean, they're always beautiful buildings, for a start. 258 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,560 {\an1}- Not always... - No. No. 259 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:25,360 {\an1}Are they? I'm not sure they're always beautiful buildings, 260 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,720 {\an1}- are they? - No. Sturry Library certainly isn't. 261 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,600 {\an1}- No, it's really not. - Sturry's got a library? 262 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,040 {\an1}But there is another little bit to it. 263 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,400 {\an1}- Oh, come on. - Oh, there's backstories, Mary. 264 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,440 {\an1}I've got a feeling there's a backstory coming on. 265 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,400 {\an1}My favourite memory is from when I was 14 and a little bit. 266 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,000 {\an1}I met my husband there. 267 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,040 {\an1}Oh. 268 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,120 {\an1}Aw. 269 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,040 {\an1}So she met her husband in library. 270 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,680 {\an1}I've always wanted the scenario like that. 271 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:52,200 {\an1}- Oh, my God. - We both reached for the same book. - Oh! 272 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,040 {\an1}And he said something about university, 273 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,000 {\an1}and I thought he had a place at university. 274 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,040 {\an1}But when he turned round, I could 275 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:01,400 {\an1}see his school cap sticking out of his back pocket. 276 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,880 {\an1}He pretended to be older than he was. 277 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,320 {\an1}And, unfortunately, he died just over three years ago. 278 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:11,040 {\an1}- Oh, that's really sad. - That's sad. 279 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,040 {\an1}- I'm so sorry for your loss. - So sorry. 280 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,640 {\an1}"Anyway." 281 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:18,680 {\an1}Anyway! Moving on. What do you want in this library, like? 282 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,600 {\an1}Let's have a look at this one. Wow. 283 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,560 {\an1}Oh, gosh. That's impressive. 284 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,920 {\an1}- Fucking hell. I bet she's going... - FEIGNS GULPING 285 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,280 {\an1}We're not going to be able to make this, love. 286 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,160 {\an1}Hannah begins with the outer shell. 287 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:34,000 {\an1}MDF walls are taped together to form the grand Edwardian reading room. 288 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,480 {\an1}I could do that bit. 289 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,000 {\an1}- What, Sellotaping bits of MDF together? - Yeah. 290 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,280 {\an1}Then comes the intricate parquet. 291 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,240 {\an1}Oh, look, she's doing parquet floor. 292 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,560 {\an1}Oh, God, she's going the whole hog, Lee. 293 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:46,680 {\an1}It takes five hours. 294 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,040 {\an1}Five hours to do that floor? I'm not being funny, 295 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,880 {\an1}I could probably floor a whole house in five hours. 296 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,040 {\an1}Hannah is turning her attention to 297 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,000 {\an1}the most important items in any library... 298 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,160 {\an1}Books. 299 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,000 {\an1}Toilets. 300 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,480 {\an1}..the books. 301 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,480 {\an1}Ah! 302 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,840 {\an1}Hannah needs to make 3,000 of them. 303 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,400 {\an1}3,000 books?! 304 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:10,120 {\an1}Tiny jackets are printed in miniature on sticky paper 305 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,720 {\an1}and wrapped neatly around each block... 306 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,640 {\an1}Ohhh, it's making me eyes and me fingers go funny just looking. 307 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,680 {\an1}Me too. 308 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,480 {\an1}She's made little books, Teresa! 309 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,480 {\an1}..and with incredible precision, 310 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,120 {\an1}glues them into position on the shelves. 311 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,080 {\an1}She's even put them in with tweezers. 312 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,720 {\an1}And they all look so unique. None of them look the same. 313 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,400 {\an1}That is amazing. 314 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,720 {\an1}Now, it's time to find out if Hannah's managed to pull off 315 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,280 {\an1}a storybook ending. 316 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,800 {\an1}- Oh, she's gonna come and have a look at it now. - Oh, yeah. 317 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,680 {\an1}For me, she better be in bits at this. 318 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:45,000 {\an1}I'm talking wailing, screaming, crying. 319 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,280 {\an1}Full scene. 320 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,720 {\an1}Three, two, one... 321 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,600 {\an1}- Oh, my God. - Wow. - That's pretty cool. 322 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,400 {\an1}- Oh, that's smart. - Where's the roof? 323 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,400 {\an1}She hasn't finished it! 324 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,840 {\an1}Look at the detail. 325 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,560 {\an1}That looks so good. I just want to be a miniature person 326 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,880 {\an1}and go inside there, do you know what I mean? 327 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,160 {\an1}You ARE a miniature person! 328 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,160 {\an1}And there's one tiny detail 329 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,760 {\an1}that's an extra-special surprise for Leah... 330 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,960 {\an1}Brace yourself. 331 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,640 {\an1}..the school cap. 332 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,160 {\an1}Ohhh. 333 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,120 {\an1}And the old school cap. 334 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,680 {\an1}Aww, bless. 335 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,200 {\an1}That'll set her off, Mary. 336 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,840 {\an1}I've got tears. I've got tears. 337 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,120 {\an1}Ohhh, she's welling up now. 338 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,400 {\an1}I thought about you a lot, and Neil. 339 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,080 {\an1}Thank you for letting me do this. 340 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,080 {\an1}Honestly, thanks for trusting me. 341 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,400 {\an1}It's a thankathon, Nutty. 342 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,880 {\an1}Ah, that's lovely. 343 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,240 {\an1}I could see myself being able to do that. 344 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:52,080 {\an1}Yeah, you've got little, cute hands. I've got pianist hands. 345 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,360 {\an1}Penis hands? 346 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,760 {\an1}Pianist. 347 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:59,400 {\an1}- Penis hands? - Pianist, like I'd be good playing the piano. 348 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:00,680 {\an1}Pianist. 349 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:04,080 {\an1}- Pianist. - Not "a penised". You sound like you're saying "penis". 350 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,440 {\an1}"I've got penis hands." 351 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,320 {\an1}In Wiltshire... 352 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,080 {\an1}While you were in London, I've been busy, 353 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:21,640 {\an1}and the extraordinary thing is this tree that I bought has been reduced. 354 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,040 {\an1}Yeah, it's lovely, nutty. It's a lovely one. 355 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,840 {\an1}- And, erm... - It's in very good condition. 356 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,880 {\an1}Giles and his wife, Mary. 357 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,800 {\an1}Can't you put it over in that corner? 358 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:35,200 {\an1}Well, then, we lose Mrs Krang's armchair, 359 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,760 {\an1}Mary, which is very nice for people to sit in that corner 360 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,080 {\an1}with the reading light. 361 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,440 {\an1}You put Mrs Krang's cupboard in room four... 362 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,760 {\an1}Yeah, but it would take a day to empty the contents 363 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:46,880 {\an1}of Mrs Krang's cupboard. 364 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,000 {\an1}Just put it in front of the cupboard and move the table. 365 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,320 {\an1}Oh, all right. 366 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,200 {\an1}Won't that be in everyone's way and prickle people? 367 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,280 {\an1}No, cos I think people would rather have their... 368 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,040 {\an1}- They'd rather have it than not. - Yeah. 369 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:04,480 {\an1}On Sunday night, our favourite darts-based quiz show 370 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,240 {\an1}was back on ITV. 371 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,240 {\an1}HE HUMS CHASE THE SUN 372 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,120 {\an1}Here we go. You and darts. 373 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,680 {\an1}# 'Ey, 'ey, 'ey! # 374 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:13,760 {\an1}- Oh... - Oi! 375 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:17,520 {\an1}Two of my favourite things, nutty - darts and trivia. 376 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:18,720 {\an1}Mary? 377 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,520 {\an1}You've spent so much time in London, 378 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,440 {\an1}you don't know what I'm like any more. 379 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,400 {\an1}- I... - Darts and trivia. 380 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:29,000 {\an1}You've never been interested in darts since I met you 381 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,360 {\an1}up to 60 years ago. 382 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,080 {\an1}You'd be surprised how much I've changed 383 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,720 {\an1}in the last six months, Mary. 384 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,320 {\an1}I've rewired my brain. 385 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,000 {\an1}I'm not as good as I was. 386 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,720 {\an1}- You were shit. - No, I was not. 387 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,120 {\an1}Holderness Ladies Champion, I'll have you know. 388 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,840 {\an1}I've hit a couple of 180s in my time. 389 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,520 {\an1}- You've done one. - I've done one. - You've done one. 390 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,400 {\an1}- You done it in the flat. - I know, I know, 391 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,760 {\an1}I couldn't believe it. You thought there was something going wrong. 392 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,240 {\an1}I think 180, for me, there's no feeling like that in life. 393 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,560 {\an1}I've never felt that way again. 394 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,880 {\an1}I'm chasing that high forever. 395 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:05,280 {\an1}In the programme, it was Zayia and Lee who had made it to the final. 396 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,720 {\an1}There's eight red segments on the board 397 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,720 {\an1}and a prize behind each one. 398 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,720 {\an1}Here's what they're playing for tonight. 399 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,880 {\an1}Some of the prizes are crap, in't they? 400 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,080 {\an1}- I would say 95% of them are shite. - Yeah, yeah. 401 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,440 {\an1}Cos who the frig wants a trouser press? 402 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,160 {\an1}In one... 403 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,480 {\an1}I mean, it was stopped for a reason, wasn't it, this programme? 404 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,400 {\an1}You've got the power to DIY 405 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:31,040 {\an1}with over £1,000 worth of Ryobi tools. 406 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:34,320 {\an1}- I wouldn't mind that! - You wouldn't mind that! - Look at that! 407 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,040 {\an1}I could do a lot of damage with that. 408 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,960 {\an1}You could do lots of damage with that. 409 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,600 {\an1}In four... 410 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:40,880 {\an1}What else is there? 411 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:45,280 {\an1}..you've got to roll with it with this pair of super, smashing skates. 412 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,640 {\an1}- Roller skates? - Now, I wouldn't mind a pair of them. 413 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,000 {\an1}- Oh, they're nice. - They're a bit of you. 414 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,000 {\an1}- Brother, you've got a leotard that would go perfectly with that. - Yeah! 415 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,520 {\an1}And Bully's special prize... 416 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,360 {\an1}Oh, is it a holiday? 417 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:58,560 {\an1}Tell me it's not Butlin's. 418 00:16:58,560 --> 00:16:59,880 {\an1}It's Butlin's, it's Butlin's. 419 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:03,120 {\an1}..it's a family break, courtesy of Butlin's. 420 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,360 {\an1}Butlin's?! 421 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,880 {\an1}Butlin's! 422 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,480 {\an1}- Ahh, Butlin's! - Bad boys go to... 423 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,800 {\an1} Butlin's! 424 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,440 {\an1}Keep out of the black and in the red. 425 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,280 {\an1}There's nothing in this game for... 426 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,880 {\an1} ..two in a bed. 427 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,280 {\an1} Two in a bed! 428 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,640 {\an1}Huh? 429 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,280 {\an1}Yeah, I didn't get that. 430 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,840 {\an1}We're all behind you. 431 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,000 {\an1}Up you step. 432 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:25,880 {\an1}- Come on, lads. - Come on, boys. 433 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,440 {\an1}- This is the darter now. - Oh, is it? Right. 434 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,400 {\an1}- That's black. - Oh... - Oh, that's black. 435 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,040 {\an1}Straight in the black. That'll do. 436 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,720 {\an1}That's not good. He needs to be in the red. 437 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,720 {\an1}- Black again. - Oh, another one! 438 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,600 {\an1}- What's wrong with those darts? - Zayia! 439 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,760 {\an1}And black. Unlucky. 440 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,840 {\an1}- And black again! - Oh, no! 441 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,600 {\an1}- Ohh... - Fucking hell, is he the darts player?! 442 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,640 {\an1}Come on, Lee. 443 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,360 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 444 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,120 {\an1}- Come on, Lee. - You've gotta do better than Zayia. 445 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,120 {\an1}Come on. 446 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,200 {\an1}- Black. - Black. 447 00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,520 {\an1}- SHE GASPS - Oh, shit. 448 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:00,720 {\an1}- Oh, black. - Black. 449 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:01,720 {\an1}The red, Lee, the red! 450 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,560 {\an1}Black again. 451 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:05,600 {\an1} Black. 452 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:06,680 {\an1}No! 453 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,960 {\an1}- Oh, my God! - Oh, no, it's not going well. 454 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,560 {\an1}Oh... 455 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,040 {\an1}- What?! Stop it! - Specsavers, please. 456 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,040 {\an1}- He's got glasses on! - Yeah, but they ain't working! 457 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,920 {\an1}I actually don't think we've ever seen this before. 458 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,760 {\an1}They've not won a single prize. 459 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,040 {\an1}I bet they're gutted. 460 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,480 {\an1}- Zayia, you've got the final three darts. - All right, come on, then. 461 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,280 {\an1}Please get something. 462 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,640 {\an1}- Black again. - Black. 463 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,720 {\an1}Black again! 464 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,000 {\an1}HE LAUGHS 465 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,640 {\an1}- Come on, Zayia. - Oh, mate. 466 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,080 {\an1}It'd actually be hard to get black this many times. 467 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,720 {\an1}- Oh... - And black. 468 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,000 {\an1}Oh, f... 469 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,920 {\an1}Oh, that's nowt. 470 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:45,960 {\an1}Oh, that's the first time 471 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:49,040 {\an1}Oh, that's the first time I've ever seen that! 472 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,000 {\an1}- I've still got to ask you a big question. - Right. 473 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,280 {\an1}Do you want to risk nothing... 474 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,800 {\an1}Yeah. 475 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,080 {\an1}..and take on one final challenge? 476 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,640 {\an1}Score 101 or more with six darts 477 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,720 {\an1}and you leave here with Bully's mystery star prize. 478 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,480 {\an1}"Nah, to be honest with you, I want to go home with nothing!" 479 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,320 {\an1}"I don't want to risk it, Fred!" 480 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,000 {\an1}- Well, it's a no-brainer, isn't it? - What would you do, Jane? 481 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,800 {\an1}Lee, you're first to throw. 482 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,680 {\an1}Please step up to the oche. 483 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,360 {\an1}- For goodness' sake. - Come on, Lee! 484 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,720 {\an1}They've got to get something here, Simon. 485 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,240 {\an1}- OK. - Here we go. Come on, Lee. 486 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,040 {\an1}101 or more in six darts. 487 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,920 {\an1}- 101 or more in six darts. - That's doable. 488 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:27,960 {\an1}You could do that 489 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,520 {\an1}You could do that with your eyes shut. 490 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,080 {\an1}No pressure. 491 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,520 {\an1}Or lots of pressure. 492 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,520 {\an1}- Seven. - Seven. That's a good start for him. 493 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:40,040 {\an1}"I like to get the seven out of the way early doors. 494 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,760 {\an1}"Set me up nicely for a treble 20!" 495 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,680 {\an1}- Oh... - Five. 496 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,120 {\an1} Five! 497 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,680 {\an1}They're hopeless. 498 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,080 {\an1}That's 12. 499 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,640 {\an1}And 19. 500 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,920 {\an1}19. Not bad. 501 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,480 {\an1}Yeah. If he gets 70, they win. 502 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,560 {\an1}Is that possible? 503 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,440 {\an1}Yeah, cos they could get a triple 20 and a 10. 504 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,080 {\an1}For Bully's mystery star prize. 505 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,640 {\an1} Come on, Zayia. 506 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,600 {\an1}This isn't hard, as someone who played darts. 507 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,160 {\an1}20. 508 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,200 {\an1}Whoa! 509 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,280 {\an1}- 20. - Ooh... - Come on, boy! 510 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,720 {\an1}- 20. - Yes! - Oh, nice! 511 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,040 {\an1}Oh, he's doing all right here! 512 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,480 {\an1}It's all on the last dart, Soph. 513 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,720 {\an1}GROANING 514 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:24,680 {\an1}Oh, no. 515 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:25,720 {\an1}Oh, he's fucked it. 516 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,440 {\an1}- Ohhh... - 72. - 72. Well done, lad. 517 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,920 {\an1}Oh, Lee. Zayia. 518 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,800 {\an1}Aww, you tried. You tried, guys. 519 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,600 {\an1}I don't think they tried hard enough! 520 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,160 {\an1}I don't! 521 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,560 {\an1}In Derby... 522 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,480 {\an1}Theodore, look, I'm sitting with Uncie Roz. 523 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,680 {\an1}Can you see him? 524 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,760 {\an1}- Yeah. - I'm special. 525 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,360 {\an1}And there's someone else very special here. 526 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:55,120 {\an1}Do you want to say hi? 527 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,600 {\an1}..the Siddiquis. 528 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,280 {\an1}Ho-ho-ho! 529 00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,400 {\an1}THEODORE LAUGHS 530 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,440 {\an1}Have you been good this year, little man? 531 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:06,200 {\an1}That's not real, Santa, it's Grandad! 532 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,480 {\an1}"I know you want a snake for Christmas." 533 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:13,080 {\an1}I know what you want for Christmas. 534 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,000 {\an1}What do you think? 535 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,600 {\an1}You want a snake! 536 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,800 {\an1}- No! - Oh! - LAUGHTER ON CALL 537 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,320 {\an1}He's fallen over. 538 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,640 {\an1}I don't need a... I don't... I don't want... 539 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,920 {\an1}Dad, stop telling him! 540 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 541 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:35,200 {\an1}On Friday, there was a famous face doing some festive fiddling on ITV. 542 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:39,680 {\an1}Ooh, Sara Davies' Christmas Craft Off, Tom. 543 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,960 {\an1}- Craft Off? - Yes. 544 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,040 {\an1}Is Sara Davies... 545 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,360 {\an1}..Dragons' Den, blonde hair? 546 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:48,640 {\an1}- Yes. - Got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 547 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,200 {\an1}She's a massive craftie. 548 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,640 {\an1}- Is she? - Yes. 549 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,200 {\an1}It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. 550 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,600 {\an1}- Oh, I like her. - I do. 551 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,200 {\an1}I can't believe she's made that much money out of cardboard. 552 00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,280 {\an1}Neither can I. 553 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,520 {\an1}I'm on a mission to spread a bit of home-made festive magic. 554 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,240 {\an1}Do you know what? You can't beat a bit of... 555 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,000 {\an1} ..home-made festive magic. 556 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,040 {\an1}You can't. 557 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,480 {\an1}- Nice little gilded pine... - Wow. 558 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,200 {\an1}Oh, I love a sparkly pine cone. 559 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,360 {\an1}So grab your glue guns and let's get Christmas crafting. 560 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:17,560 {\an1}I need to get a bad-man glue gun. That's what I need. 561 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,760 {\an1}- Yeah. - A real bad-man glue gun. - Real bad-man glue gun. - Mm. 562 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,000 {\an1}Do you know what Christmas crafts equals? 563 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,440 {\an1}Christmas crap. 564 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,000 {\an1}Christmas crap, yeah. 565 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,560 {\an1}I thought, why not do a little Christmas scene in a glass? 566 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,040 {\an1}Oh, why not?! 567 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,760 {\an1}- That's what every glass needs at Christmas. - Yep, absolutely. 568 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,200 {\an1}- A what? - Christmas scene in a glass. 569 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,240 {\an1}I like fuckin' vodka in my glass. 570 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,920 {\an1}Yeah, I do, that's the only thing I like in my glass - fluid. 571 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,480 {\an1}..or a nice Pinot Grigio. 572 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,160 {\an1}This is a really fun treat and super easy. 573 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,400 {\an1}I don't have a spare glass. 574 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,880 {\an1}Look how the other half live, honestly! 575 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,240 {\an1}How do you do a Christmas scene in a glass? 576 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,600 {\an1}And what is the point of a Christmas scene in a glass? 577 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,280 {\an1}Well, just to be festive. 578 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,720 {\an1}All I'm going to use - little bit of rosemary... 579 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,600 {\an1}- OK. - Got that in the garden. 580 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,600 {\an1}We do have that in the garden, grows all year. 581 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:08,960 {\an1}Abundance of rosemary. 582 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,360 {\an1}..some pomegranate seeds... 583 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,360 {\an1}- Pomegranate seeds? - Hang on! 584 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,760 {\an1}- Mm-hm. - OK. 585 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,000 {\an1}We're going to freeze it ready. 586 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,040 {\an1}- Ooh. - What? 587 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,280 {\an1}- OK. - What's she doing here, man? 588 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,120 {\an1}I want to know where this is going here. 589 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:20,400 {\an1}In the freezer. 590 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,120 {\an1}THEY LAUGH 591 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,200 {\an1}Now, this is low tack tape. 592 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,440 {\an1}What tape? 593 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,720 {\an1}Low tack. 594 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,200 {\an1}Low tack? 595 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,040 {\an1}She's a bit Blue Peter-y, isn't she? 596 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,120 {\an1}- Yeah. - I had no idea she was into this type of stuff. 597 00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:39,840 {\an1}It is going to hold our little miniature Christmas tree in place. 598 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,720 {\an1}- A miniature Christmas tree? - Yeah. 599 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,320 {\an1}That's what she's doing with the rosemary. 600 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:44,520 {\an1}Where...? 601 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,160 {\an1}- Oh! - That's going to be the miniature Christmas tree. 602 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,480 {\an1}And then, you see, that 603 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,840 {\an1}will be held just nicely in the glass. 604 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,000 {\an1}Lovely. 605 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,040 {\an1}And the best thing about that size of using rosemary 606 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,520 {\an1}is you will have your eye out when you're having a drink. 607 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,720 {\an1}I think she's showing you how to make a cannabis farm. 608 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,600 {\an1}We'll start off just with a little bit of water, 609 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,560 {\an1}cos it's going to be going into the freezer. 610 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:07,640 {\an1}Oh, yeah. 611 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:08,920 {\an1}What is this? 612 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,280 {\an1}It's a Christmas scene in a glass. 613 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,920 {\an1}Ours would end up with frozen peas and sweetcorn in, as well. 614 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,280 {\an1}- Yeah. - A mix, a country mix. 615 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:20,920 {\an1}I wouldn't even get one glass in my freezer. 616 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:20,960 {\an1}No, I can't even get 617 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,480 {\an1}No, I can't even get the ice cubes in mine. 618 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,080 {\an1}And then you just need to take the tape off. 619 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,880 {\an1}OK, take the tape off, let's have a look. 620 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,200 {\an1}And what you'll see is... 621 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,800 {\an1}A twig. 622 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,000 {\an1}In ice. 623 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,320 {\an1}..that Christmas tree... 624 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,520 {\an1}..will have frozen... 625 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,840 {\an1}..perfectly into place. 626 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:40,960 {\an1}Lovely. 627 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,240 {\an1}- Erm... - HE LAUGHS 628 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,040 {\an1}Erm... 629 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,240 {\an1}Right. 630 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,680 {\an1}I don't even know what to make of it. 631 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,080 {\an1}I'm so... Like, I'm lost for words. 632 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:52,760 {\an1}It looks dead! 633 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,120 {\an1}Now I'm just adding tonic water to these. 634 00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:56,360 {\an1}Here we go. 635 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,760 {\an1}Oh, now she's talking. 636 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,560 {\an1}Can I have Coke in mine instead? 637 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,560 {\an1}You can't even see it. 638 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,880 {\an1}With rosemary. 639 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,680 {\an1}Oh, I'll have a rosemary and Coke, please. 640 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:09,960 {\an1}Oh, come on, get something harder 641 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,800 {\an1}Oh, come on, get something harder in there. 642 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,120 {\an1}Where's the gin? 643 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:15,120 {\an1}- HE CHUCKLES - Yeah. 644 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,320 {\an1}Where's the vodka? 645 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,000 {\an1}You know what, at least she tried, innit? 646 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,480 {\an1}That's all that matters. Like, at least she tried. 647 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:30,480 {\an1}In Leeds... 648 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,200 {\an1}I'm going to a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. 649 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,960 {\an1}Yes, I'd heard about this. 650 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,600 {\an1}Yeah, so I'm going to an actual American's house 651 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,080 {\an1}for an actual Thanksgiving dinner. 652 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,320 {\an1}Lucky you. 653 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,160 {\an1}..sisters Ellie and Izzi. 654 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,520 {\an1}Do you know what, as well, like, I feel really grown-up 655 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:50,120 {\an1}and mature to be invited to a Thanksgiving dinner party? 656 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,280 {\an1}I know. 657 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,800 {\an1}I've been invited to a dinner party. 658 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,160 {\an1}Tell me you're old without telling me that you're old. 659 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,000 {\an1}Me and Nat are going to a dinner party. 660 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,360 {\an1}We've actually never been to a dinner party. 661 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:05,920 {\an1}That's cos none of your friends are sophisticated or hosting parties. 662 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,280 {\an1}You've just made friends with Neil and Hannah, 663 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,800 {\an1}and they so happen to be normal human beings. 664 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,080 {\an1}- SHE LAUGHS - Yeah. 665 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,600 {\an1}On Monday, fallout from the budget 666 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,600 {\an1}was still bubbling along on BBC News. 667 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,200 {\an1}I'm guessing it will be the trouble they're in 668 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,080 {\an1}because they didn't tell the Cabinet they had a budget surplus notified 669 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,320 {\an1}by the OBR when they were saying they had a £20 billion black hole. 670 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,200 {\an1}Have you had your advent calendar this morning? 671 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,480 {\an1}No, I haven't. 672 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,840 {\an1}I've had a coffee one, me. 673 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:35,880 {\an1}Pinch, punch, first of the month. 674 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,840 {\an1}Pinch, punch, first of the month. No returns. 675 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:38,880 {\an1}Good afternoon, 676 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,560 {\an1}Good afternoon, welcome to the BBC News at One. 677 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,680 {\an1}Our main story, the Prime Minister has insisted... 678 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,040 {\an1}Oh, he looks a bit alarmed there, your Keir. 679 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:48,720 {\an1}- He looks bewildered, doesn't he? - Yeah. 680 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:50,560 {\an1}..that his Chancellor, Rachel Reeves, 681 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,680 {\an1}did not mislead the public before last week's budget. 682 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,120 {\an1}That's not what I've heard. 683 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,680 {\an1}- Have you been following this? - Yes, yes. 684 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,600 {\an1}She, um, exaggerated the... 685 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,960 {\an1}- Shortfall. - ..so-called fiscal black hole. 686 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,600 {\an1}Cabinet members have reportedly accused him 687 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,960 {\an1}and Ms Reeves of misleading ministers. 688 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,600 {\an1}Yep, I'd have to agree with that. 689 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,640 {\an1}They didn't mislead them, they just kept some information back, 690 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,800 {\an1}which helped with what she was doing. 691 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,200 {\an1}Rachel Reeves has defended her position, saying full details 692 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,080 {\an1}contained in a budget are never provided in advance. 693 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,440 {\an1}Pretty big detail to not release, though. 694 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,160 {\an1}You know, she doesn't release all the details, 695 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,520 {\an1}just the ones that she wants you to hear. 696 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,880 {\an1}We know now that on October the 31st, 697 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,640 {\an1}the Office for Budget Responsibility told Rachel Reeves 698 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:37,000 {\an1}that she still had a surplus of £4.2 billion. 699 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,360 {\an1}What?! 700 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,160 {\an1}So the economy's doing better than we all thought? 701 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,280 {\an1}She was telling everybody we were 20 or 30 billion down, 702 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,640 {\an1}- and she was 4.2 billion up. - Yeah. 703 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,480 {\an1}This is like what happened with Nana's energy bills. 704 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,440 {\an1}- Yeah. - THEY LAUGH 705 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,000 {\an1}Giving a speech in London, 706 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,760 {\an1}the Prime Minister said there had been no misleading. 707 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,120 {\an1}Well, of course he would say that. 708 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,400 {\an1}We had, on the one hand, 709 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,800 {\an1}£16 billion less than we might otherwise have had, 710 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,160 {\an1}we had clear commitments that we'd made throughout the process 711 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,480 {\an1}as to what it was we were going to achieve. 712 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,320 {\an1}Oh, God, he's so boring. 713 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,000 {\an1}- Yeah, I've checked out now. - Oh. 714 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,080 {\an1}It was inevitable that we would always have to raise revenue. 715 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,360 {\an1}What is that horn noise? 716 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,280 {\an1}It was a moment of personal pride... 717 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,720 {\an1}It's not an air raid, is it? 718 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,040 {\an1}The Tories have asked the financial regulator 719 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,040 {\an1}to investigate Rachel Reeves. 720 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,600 {\an1}What? I mean, what's going to happen? 721 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,000 {\an1}They're going to do an investigation, 722 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,440 {\an1}it's going to take nine years, 723 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,800 {\an1}they're going to be out of power, and no-one's going to care. 724 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,160 {\an1}A CEO who did what Rachel Reeves did would have had to resign. 725 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,280 {\an1}You tell him, Kemi. 726 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,640 {\an1}And she should be held to the same high standards. 727 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,440 {\an1}She's the Chancellor of the Exchequer, she's not a PR lady. 728 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,040 {\an1}Kemi's just happy to get her neb on telly. 729 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,400 {\an1}- Oh, God, yeah. - Just to stay relevant. 730 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,400 {\an1}I mean, fair play to her, she didn't pull a Kwasi Kwarteng. 731 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,680 {\an1}- Yeah, yeah. - You know? 732 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,440 {\an1}She has got that on her side. 733 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:56,160 {\an1}- Yeah. - Nobody's beat Kwasi Kwarteng yet. 734 00:28:58,480 --> 00:28:59,920 {\an1}In Yorkshire... 735 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:02,240 {\an1}What makes someone beautiful and what makes someone pretty? 736 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:03,760 {\an1}It's just an interesting concept. 737 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,840 {\an1}..Sara and her daughter-in-law Lara. 738 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,240 {\an1}Well, my sister was beautiful, 739 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,200 {\an1}and I was just pretty, OK? 740 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,280 {\an1}So what am I? 741 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,600 {\an1}You're... 742 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,680 {\an1}Yikes! Why did I ask that? Why did I ask that? 743 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,360 {\an1}You are, um, pretty, I suppose. 744 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,760 {\an1}Attractive, beautiful, I don't know what you are, darling, 745 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:24,880 {\an1}what I think you are. 746 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:32,680 {\an1}On Saturday night, Alan Carr took us back in time on ITV. 747 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:36,760 {\an1}I feel like I get really stuck in the '60s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. 748 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:38,360 {\an1}I don't know the difference between them all. 749 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,280 {\an1}What was going on in the '80s? 750 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:41,760 {\an1}With me? 751 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,320 {\an1}Well, I was fully out then, wasn't I? So it was all fun. 752 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,680 {\an1}- Well, actually, it wasn't at all. - Oh, God, I don't want to know 753 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,520 {\an1}what was going on in the '80s with you, then. 754 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,800 {\an1}He does a young Alan Carr so well, that boy. 755 00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,400 {\an1}Never mind Changing Ends, 756 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,720 {\an1}you can't change bloody channels for Alan Carr. 757 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,880 {\an1}Nothing united the UK more than a telethon. 758 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,040 {\an1}What's a telethon? 759 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:10,600 {\an1}We've got telethons now. 760 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,000 {\an1}No, that's telephone. 761 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:15,000 {\an1}Everyone used to sit in baths of baked beans, didn't they? 762 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,880 {\an1}What the fuck? 763 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,120 {\an1}Even celebrities came down from their ivory towers 764 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,440 {\an1}to show us they were just like us. 765 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:26,280 {\an1}Oh, they need to bring back things like this. This is proper telly. 766 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,240 {\an1}Not like the shite we have to watch now. 767 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,520 {\an1}DOORBELL RINGS 768 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,920 {\an1}Oh, Ange, you ain't got a few tins of beans, have you? 769 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,840 {\an1}We're in a right state. 770 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:33,880 {\an1}She's the annoying neighbour over 771 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,360 {\an1}She's the annoying neighbour over t' road, in't she? 772 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,960 {\an1}She's the snobby neighbour 773 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,640 {\an1}who's always looking down her nose at Alan's mum. 774 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,680 {\an1}If your cupboards are bare, you can always send the boys to me 775 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,480 {\an1}for a feed. 776 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,800 {\an1}- It's a right '80s haircut, that one, innit? - Yeah. 777 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,120 {\an1}I had that hairdo, remember? 778 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,480 {\an1}Yeah, but yours looked like an explosion in a mattress factory. 779 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,640 {\an1}Mine was lovely, I had real good hair. 780 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,200 {\an1}We're just doing a bath of beans for charity. 781 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:55,880 {\an1}Well, we're trying, we're about 20 tins short. 782 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,120 {\an1}That's why we're here. 783 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,760 {\an1}Charlie's doing a camp out, Saturday. 784 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,120 {\an1}Yeah, it was a bit mad, wasn't it, back in the day? 785 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,040 {\an1}It was constantly something, 786 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,880 {\an1}you were getting sponsored for something all the time. 787 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,280 {\an1}He's having a camp out, load of mates coming round. 788 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:09,840 {\an1}What about Alan? 789 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,280 {\an1}Ask Alan to go. 790 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,480 {\an1}Oh, which mates? 791 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,760 {\an1}Michael Gudgeon, Bradley. 792 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:16,440 {\an1}- Who else? - Jake. 793 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,320 {\an1}- Oh, Jake. - Oh, Jake, he likes Jake, doesn't he? 794 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,200 {\an1}He likes Jake, yeah. He'll be there, Alan, won't he? 795 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,800 {\an1}Maybe Alan could camp out, instead of the beans? 796 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,120 {\an1}Oh, well, that's very... You'd like that. 797 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:28,320 {\an1}Look at his little face. 798 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,640 {\an1}- He lit up there, didn't he? - Oh, yes, please. 799 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,920 {\an1}I'll camp out with those boys. 800 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,920 {\an1}Oh, no. Not with Charlie. 801 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:36,880 {\an1}He's done enough for charity already. 802 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,160 {\an1}- No! - Oh, he doesn't want Alan to come. 803 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,200 {\an1}After setting up camp with his friend Kaye, 804 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,520 {\an1}Alan was keen to see what Jake and the lads 805 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,440 {\an1}were up to in the other garden. 806 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,160 {\an1}Get yourself in the tent there. Go on, Alan. 807 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,520 {\an1}Sh! Get in. 808 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:56,600 {\an1}Ooh! 809 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,440 {\an1}Oh, my God, he's in with all the boys now. 810 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,720 {\an1}Hey. Hi. Hello. 811 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,000 {\an1}SHE CHUCKLES 812 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,440 {\an1}That's what you're like when you fancy someone. 813 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:06,720 {\an1}I know. That's why I'm single, babe. 814 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,320 {\an1}- Jake. - Good timing. 815 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,000 {\an1}- Oh, there's Jake! - Oh, yep. 816 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,480 {\an1}- He's there. - Very happy. 817 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:12,760 {\an1}Let's do something else, eh? 818 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,000 {\an1}No. Georgie's turn. 819 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,800 {\an1}No, this is a dangerous game, man. Oh, my God. 820 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,160 {\an1}Never have I ever... 821 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,840 {\an1}..done fourth base. 822 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:21,960 {\an1}GASPING 823 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,240 {\an1}What is fourth base? 824 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:24,320 {\an1}What's a base? 825 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,840 {\an1}One, two, three... 826 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,360 {\an1}Not round the back?! 827 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,480 {\an1}I don't think it's round the back, they're barely even 15. 828 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,480 {\an1}I'm sure Alan can help you, Georgie. 829 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,960 {\an1}Don't worry, Al. It's just a game, innit? 830 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,600 {\an1}Aww, poor Alan. This is a horrible situation to be in. 831 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,360 {\an1}I'm bored of this now. Come on. 832 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,680 {\an1}Go on, Jake, sticking up for Alan, yeah. 833 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:44,680 {\an1}Never change, Alan. 834 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:46,200 {\an1} Hello, happy campers! 835 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:47,560 {\an1}Aww! 836 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:48,760 {\an1}Did you see that look? 837 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,280 {\an1}- He told him, "Never change." - Mm-hm! 838 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,320 {\an1}Alan, you've left poor Kaye on her own. Out. 839 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:55,960 {\an1}Kaye, you grass! 840 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,600 {\an1}Absolute party pooper. 841 00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:58,920 {\an1}Give me that. 842 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,640 {\an1}Right, all of you out, now. 843 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:01,880 {\an1}Come on. 844 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:03,120 {\an1}Oh, they've been caught. 845 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,000 {\an1}Bootle of whisky snatched. 846 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,360 {\an1}Oh, come on. 847 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:07,480 {\an1}Georgie. 848 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:11,840 {\an1}- SHE GASPS - Oh! Alan giving Jake the eye. 849 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:13,360 {\an1}I can't believe this. 850 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,680 {\an1}You have no idea what's going on in your back garden. 851 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:16,840 {\an1}You've got kids... 852 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:17,960 {\an1}GASPS 853 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,680 {\an1}Oh! 854 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,080 {\an1}Oh, my God, Alan. 855 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,320 {\an1}- Oh... - Aww! 856 00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,920 {\an1}Jake and Georgie are snogging! 857 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:37,520 {\an1}It's tough, Alan. 858 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,040 {\an1}Who does that on the drive, though? 859 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,440 {\an1}Yeah, why are two kids necking on? 860 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,040 {\an1}I really felt that I had a chance. 861 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:46,320 {\an1}She just wasn't the one, darling. 862 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:47,400 {\an1}Aww! 863 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,720 {\an1}Mum just got the wrong idea. 864 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:51,480 {\an1}I wasn't talking about Georgie. 865 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,760 {\an1}- Yeah, we know. - We know, Alan. 866 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,040 {\an1}I know. 867 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:56,840 {\an1}- Aww! - Aww! 868 00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,760 {\an1}Aww, what a good friend. 869 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,520 {\an1}I mean, these days, you'd be pleased to have a gay son, wouldn't you? 870 00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:02,840 {\an1}Oh, God, yeah, I'm hoping. 871 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:02,880 {\an1}Do you know, I'll tell you who 872 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,000 {\an1}Do you know, I'll tell you who I used to like one time 873 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,400 {\an1}was Debbie Harry. 874 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:08,680 {\an1}Was it? 875 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,040 {\an1}I don't know. That's not somebody in school, is it? 876 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,480 {\an1}I can't think of anybody in school. 877 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,760 {\an1}I used to fancy the window cleaner in school. 878 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,520 {\an1}- Who? The window cleaner? - Mm. 879 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,280 {\an1}- Yeah. I did end up going out with him. - Oh. 880 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,040 {\an1}- In Blackpool... - Tell you what, 881 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:36,000 {\an1}- the kids are getting all excited for Christmas, aren't they? - Yeah. 882 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,320 {\an1}..Pete and his little sister Sophie. 883 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,680 {\an1}When they were round here the other day, 884 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:44,000 {\an1}Jimmy was saying, "We've got a Christmas tree." 885 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,440 {\an1}I said, "Oh," I said, 886 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,040 {\an1}"Me and Uncle Ben have put ours up in the other lounge." 887 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,400 {\an1}Begging me to see it, like, obviously, 888 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,720 {\an1}so I said, "Yeah, come on then, let's go." 889 00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:55,040 {\an1}And I've put... 890 00:34:55,040 --> 00:35:00,040 {\an1}I've had made two little stockings, one for Ben, one for me. 891 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:04,720 {\an1}Hung on the fire. Lovely touch. Match all the colour scheme. 892 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:07,080 {\an1}Jimmy takes one look at 'em and goes, 893 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,440 {\an1}"Why have you got two big stinking socks?" 894 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,800 {\an1}I was like, "They're not stinking socks, Jimmy." 895 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:19,080 {\an1}This week, we were all on the edge of our seats 896 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:23,480 {\an1}as we waited to find out who was to blame for what on Sky. 897 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:27,880 {\an1}- Oh, you know what this is, love. - What? - Don't Blame Her, innit? 898 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,600 {\an1}"Don't Blame Her"? It's not that. It's "All Her Fault". 899 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,880 {\an1}Oh, I thought it was... 900 00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:34,880 {\an1}I thought it was Don't Blame Her. 901 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,640 {\an1}So what's happened? What have I missed? 902 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:43,040 {\an1}So at the start, a child gets kidnapped by a nanny - 903 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,480 {\an1}not his own nanny. 904 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:46,800 {\an1}Another nanny who's got a special interest in him. 905 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,360 {\an1}She was called Carrie. 906 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,840 {\an1}As it happens, now called Josephine. 907 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,400 {\an1}Child's now been reunited with his family. 908 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,360 {\an1}However, we don't know why. 909 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,120 {\an1}- We don't know why it's all happened. - Mm. 910 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,600 {\an1}In the programme, they had a flashback 911 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,400 {\an1}to show us how it all started. 912 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,320 {\an1}Oh, Josie had a baby six years ago. 913 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:12,400 {\an1}If Josie had a baby, why did she need to steal someone else's? 914 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,200 {\an1}Oh, look how happy she is, Lee. She's taking him home. 915 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,680 {\an1}- CRASH - Don't look round! 916 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,760 {\an1}Oh, you buggers! 917 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:23,800 {\an1}Oh! Fucking hell. 918 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,080 {\an1}- Oh! Fucking hell. - Oh, bloody hell! 919 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:27,960 {\an1}CRASHING, GLASS SHATTERS 920 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,440 {\an1}Shit! 921 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,800 {\an1}Oh, now, who is in that car? 922 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,200 {\an1}Is that the mum and the dad of, um...Milo? 923 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,480 {\an1}No, no, no. 924 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,880 {\an1}No, I heard him. 925 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,120 {\an1}Oh, no. 926 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,800 {\an1}Josie's in hospital. 927 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,160 {\an1}Yeah, but what's happening to the baby? 928 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:46,800 {\an1}- He was crying. - I'm sorry. 929 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,840 {\an1}He didn't survive the crash. 930 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,320 {\an1}Oh, no. 931 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,000 {\an1}What's she saying? She heard the baby crying? 932 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,120 {\an1}Yeah, she said she heard him. 933 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,000 {\an1}I think that you're confused. 934 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,600 {\an1}That must have been the other baby. 935 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,880 {\an1}- What? - The other baby? 936 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:00,240 {\an1}What other baby? 937 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:01,640 {\an1}In the other car. 938 00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,960 {\an1}Are we still six years ago, or are we real now? 939 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,080 {\an1}Real now. 940 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,240 {\an1}Does the name Josephine Murphy mean anything to you? 941 00:37:13,240 --> 00:37:14,520 {\an1}- Uh-uh. - Ah-ah! 942 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,800 {\an1}- Josie, what are you doing with a gun? - What are you doing? 943 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,160 {\an1}He's my son. 944 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,440 {\an1}What do you mean, he's your son? 945 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,000 {\an1}Her son died in the car accident. 946 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,000 {\an1}My name is Josephine Murphy. 947 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:29,920 {\an1}What? No. 948 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,320 {\an1}They recognise the name. 949 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:32,840 {\an1}No. You... 950 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,240 {\an1}- You died. - I didn't. 951 00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,760 {\an1}- What? - She died. They said she died. 952 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:37,800 {\an1}Why did they think she died? 953 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,120 {\an1}- Why did they think she died? - Said she was dead? 954 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,160 {\an1}I didn't come here to try to get him back. 955 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,480 {\an1}Well, what have you come here for, then? 956 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,080 {\an1}I came here because I need you to promise me... 957 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:49,680 {\an1}- What? - ..mother to mother that you'll protect Milo. 958 00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,000 {\an1}I am so confused. I thought she's the baddie! 959 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,000 {\an1}- She doesn't sound like a baddie. - No. 960 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:55,360 {\an1}From... From what? 961 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,640 {\an1}- From him. - Him. 962 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,680 {\an1}Oh! Why? What's he done? 963 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,520 {\an1}You don't know what he's capable of. 964 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,040 {\an1}Oh, my God, look, look at his face. He's like, "No, please don't. 965 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,480 {\an1}"Please don't expose me." Like, what are you hiding? 966 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,840 {\an1}I know you won't believe me if I tell you, 967 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,120 {\an1}which is why you have to hear it for yourself. 968 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,440 {\an1}- Shut up! - She's got evidence! 969 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,120 {\an1}- Oh, my God. - No! 970 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:17,920 {\an1}- GUNSHOT - Oh! 971 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,480 {\an1} No! 972 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,200 {\an1}- He's shot her! - He done that deliberately, the... 973 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,440 {\an1}OK. 974 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,000 {\an1}He done summat, Lee, hasn't he? 975 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,760 {\an1}- She had the evidence there. - Yeah. 976 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,560 {\an1}Peter. Whose...? 977 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,320 {\an1}Whose baby died in that accident? 978 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:38,680 {\an1}- Their baby died, and he took... - Hers. 979 00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,480 {\an1}- ..Josie's baby. - Yeah. 980 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000 {\an1}He was scared, and he was cold, and I couldn't... 981 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,720 {\an1}I couldn't just leave him there. 982 00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:47,080 {\an1}No, no, no, no, no. 983 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,800 {\an1}So Milo is Josie's baby. 984 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,840 {\an1}Poor old Josie has been in the right all along. 985 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,120 {\an1}- You stole her child! - No, I did... 986 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,400 {\an1}I did what I thought was right. 987 00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,000 {\an1}Aye, you stole a child, mate. 988 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,400 {\an1}No matter which way you look at it or cut it down, 989 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,920 {\an1}you still stole somebody's child. 990 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,920 {\an1}All this time, I thought the kidnapping was my fault, 991 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,280 {\an1}and you let me think it was my fault. 992 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:08,720 {\an1}But it was not my fault. It was yours. 993 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:10,160 {\an1}Yeah, he did, didn't he? 994 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:13,720 {\an1}Change the title! It's all HIS fault. It's not all her fault. 995 00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:17,240 {\an1}We knew it would never be her fault. It's always got to be a man's fault. 996 00:39:17,240 --> 00:39:22,000 {\an1}A bit later, it looked like Marissa had forgiven her husband, Peter. 997 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,560 {\an1}Why is she being nice to him? 998 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,400 {\an1}I couldn't kiss him. Knowing what she knows, I couldn't. 999 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,080 {\an1}What was that for? 1000 00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:38,560 {\an1}Er, I've missed you. 1001 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,160 {\an1}"What was that for?" Nat says that when I snog him - 1002 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:42,800 {\an1}thinks that I'm up to summat. 1003 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,680 {\an1}Yeah, I missed you, too. 1004 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,000 {\an1}- Mmm. - Peter. Never trust a redhead, mate. 1005 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,720 {\an1}You're on thin ice there. 1006 00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:53,120 {\an1}CLEARS THROAT 1007 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:55,600 {\an1}COUGHS 1008 00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,520 {\an1}- What's he coughing for? - Oh, what's wrong? 1009 00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,240 {\an1}That's how Mel reacts when I kiss her. 1010 00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:01,040 {\an1}Oh, shit. 1011 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,640 {\an1}- Er... - What? 1012 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,000 {\an1}- I didn't check all the allergens. - Oh! 1013 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,000 {\an1}- She's had summat on her lips. - Yeah, she's kissed him. 1014 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:08,600 {\an1}A deadly kiss, Simon. 1015 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,800 {\an1}- I could have had soy by accident. Fuck! I'm so sorry. - I gotta... 1016 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,720 {\an1}Have you got your EpiPen handy, love? 1017 00:40:13,720 --> 00:40:14,920 {\an1}I hope not. 1018 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,960 {\an1}Isn't it like an immediate reaction? 1019 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,080 {\an1}What the fuck? 1020 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,400 {\an1}- It's expired. - What? 1021 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,000 {\an1}Oh, shit. It's not working. 1022 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,240 {\an1}It's expired! Yes! 1023 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:34,080 {\an1}You always have the emergency kit. 1024 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:35,800 {\an1}- He knows. - He's worked it out. 1025 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,680 {\an1}That's true. I manage your allergy for you. 1026 00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:40,320 {\an1}Oh. 1027 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,240 {\an1}Read between the lines. "I managed your allergy for you." 1028 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:45,560 {\an1}Amira, remember when you had to use an EpiPen 1029 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,520 {\an1}because you had some Parmesan? 1030 00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:52,600 {\an1}"Some Parmesan"? Don't make it sound so minuscule, like it... 1031 00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,040 {\an1}Amani, I had to be rushed into hospital. 1032 00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,040 {\an1}- That was the funniest day ever. - Do you remember? 1033 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,720 {\an1}Do you remember, though, when you were like... 1034 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:03,080 {\an1}When we called the ambulance and they were like, 1035 00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:06,040 {\an1}"Who's gonna come with her?" And none of you wanted to volunteer. 1036 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,040 {\an1}You were like, "I've got work the next day. 1037 00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,040 {\an1}"I don't know how long we're going to be there." 1038 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,480 {\an1}You don't know what could have happened to me. 1039 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,840 {\an1}My lips were huge. They looked like Kylie Jenner's lips. 1040 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,720 {\an1}- In Glasgow... - Work Christmas parties. 1041 00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,280 {\an1}The worst part about them is like, 1042 00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:23,920 {\an1}yeah, it's that not knowing where the line is. 1043 00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,640 {\an1}There's a clear line, mate. Don't cross it. 1044 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,960 {\an1}..best mates Jake and Calum. 1045 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,880 {\an1}I don't really drink that much so it doesn't, like... 1046 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:31,600 {\an1}- I never really get to that place. - Never done it? 1047 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,840 {\an1}But I've been to some wild Christmas parties where you're just like... 1048 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,160 {\an1}"Anne from Accounts does not do that on a Monday morning." 1049 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,720 {\an1}It's almost like a superhero, right? 1050 00:41:38,720 --> 00:41:41,080 {\an1}They come out, they show you their true powers, 1051 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:42,560 {\an1}and on the Monday you're like, "All right?" 1052 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:44,040 {\an1}- Yeah, back to... - Back to normal. 1053 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,400 {\an1}- Back to your spreadsheets. - Do you not think that's magical? 1054 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,920 {\an1}- It's nice. - You know what I mean? - It's a wee glimmer 1055 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,280 {\an1}- into someone's actual... - It's a glimmer, innit? 1056 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,240 {\an1}- You go, "I know I like you, but we don't need to talk about it." - Yeah. 1057 00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:57,680 {\an1}This week, Strictly had something new in store for us on BBC One. 1058 00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:00,000 {\an1}You ready for Strictly? Ha-ha! 1059 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,480 {\an1}- Are you ready? Easy. - Oh, good catch. Nice. 1060 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:06,240 {\an1}Should we watch Strictly and at least there'll be some... 1061 00:42:06,240 --> 00:42:07,720 {\an1}..athletic gaiety? 1062 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,160 {\an1}THEY SING ALONG TO THEME TUNE 1063 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,400 {\an1}- Where's your bottom gone? - It's over there. You haven't brought it. 1064 00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,200 {\an1}Look, it's on the worktop. 1065 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:24,440 {\an1}Oh! 1066 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,680 {\an1}- Why has it come off? - Because it's cheap plastic. 1067 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:30,960 {\an1}That's why it's come off. 1068 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,040 {\an1}Hey, so, do I look like Claudia? 1069 00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:36,320 {\an1}No, you look like that Derek that Ricky Gervais plays. 1070 00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,320 {\an1}Welcome to Strictly Come Dancing. 1071 00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,080 {\an1}We are back from Blackpool and back to business. 1072 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:44,320 {\an1}Bloody hell. How big's Tess's hair this week? 1073 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,680 {\an1}That blow-dry'd envy Jane McDonald. 1074 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,840 {\an1}Our couples have another chance to improve their position 1075 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:54,200 {\an1}on the leaderboard when they take on Instant Dance. 1076 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,160 {\an1}Instant Dance? This is new. 1077 00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:59,560 {\an1}What do you mean, an instant dance? Do you have to, like, "Dance now!"? 1078 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,160 {\an1}Yeah, that's exactly it. 1079 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:04,320 {\an1}All our couples will be asked to improvise a dance on the spot. 1080 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:05,880 {\an1}Oh, my God. Improv. 1081 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:07,160 {\an1}This is... 1082 00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:08,680 {\an1}Ah, shit! 1083 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:11,720 {\an1}- Improvisation! - LAUGHS 1084 00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:12,840 {\an1}Yeah! 1085 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,200 {\an1}- They're starting to change it, Mary. - Oh, no. 1086 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:18,560 {\an1}- I think the expression is "change it up" now. - Oh. 1087 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:22,440 {\an1}After being assigned their dances and picking their own costumes... 1088 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:23,920 {\an1}- That's mine. - Yes! 1089 00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,080 {\an1}- Take trousers. - Trousers are good. 1090 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,640 {\an1}It's chaos, this. What the frig is going on? 1091 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,120 {\an1}- It's a bit like It's A Knockout, Nutty. - Yeah. 1092 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,720 {\an1}The dancers have just ten seconds to confer 1093 00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:36,560 {\an1}before taking to the dance floor. 1094 00:43:37,720 --> 00:43:39,200 {\an1}Flying squirrel! 1095 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,720 {\an1}THEY CONFER, AUDIENCE COUNTS DOWN 1096 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:43,240 {\an1}- Oh, she's talking him through it. - Yeah. 1097 00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:46,160 {\an1}- Right. - "You do that." "Quick plan. You do that and I'll do that." 1098 00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,000 {\an1}"I'm going to do this, you go over there." 1099 00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,080 {\an1}- Oh, look at him. - Oh, hello. - Hello! 1100 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,080 {\an1}Just... Yeah, yeah. Just strip. That'll confuse them. 1101 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,640 {\an1}I mean, they're just floating round the room at this stage. 1102 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:07,600 {\an1}- He doesn't need to do anything. - That's the thing. He's just like... 1103 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,040 {\an1}As long as he does this dance... 1104 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,040 {\an1}"If I just stay there, she'll lead me." 1105 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:15,400 {\an7}# This is what it sounds like when doves cry. # 1106 00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:17,720 {\an1}Oh! He's done a lift! 1107 00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:20,080 {\an1}- CHEERING - Unbelievable! 1108 00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:23,880 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh, God. He's just thrown her on the floor. 1109 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,560 {\an1}Honestly, I could have done that. 1110 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,480 {\an1}They've done a couple of forward steps, 1111 00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,280 {\an1}a couple of backward steps, side steps, 1112 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,320 {\an1}- and then... - I mean... - ..hoyed her on the floor. 1113 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:36,240 {\an1}Will our final couple, Amber and Nikita, make it onto the floor? 1114 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:39,280 {\an1}I love how Nikita's come dressed as a car wash. 1115 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:42,160 {\an1}AUDIENCE COUNTS DOWN 1116 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,360 {\an1}Shit! 1117 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,280 {\an1}She doesn't fuck about, does she? 1118 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,200 {\an1}You start anything like that, and you'll be fine, innit? 1119 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,560 {\an1}That's how I start doing my taxes. 1120 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,960 {\an1}Whenever, Wherever by Shakira 1121 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,320 {\an1}I would need a good bit of warning 1122 00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,360 {\an1}if someone were going to toss me in the air like that 1123 00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,640 {\an1}with my legs open, because it wouldn't end well for them. 1124 00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:06,840 {\an1}Oh, them ruffles are made for shimmying, aren't they? 1125 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,480 {\an1}When in doubt, you shimmy, innit? When in doubt, you shimmy. 1126 00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:14,640 {\an1}Oh, yeah. 1127 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,280 {\an1}That's the Shakira dance. 1128 00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:21,960 {\an1}Yeah? 1129 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,560 {\an1}# La-la la-la la-lay 1130 00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,840 {\an1}# La-la la-la la-lay 1131 00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:28,160 {\an1}# Can't you see 1132 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,520 {\an1}# I'm at your feet 1133 00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:33,800 {\an1}# Whenever, wherever 1134 00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,080 {\an1}# We're meant to be together... # 1135 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,960 {\an1}They are nailing this. 1136 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,480 {\an1}Yeah, they've got a bit of Shakira going through them. 1137 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:41,960 {\an1} # Whenever, wherever 1138 00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:44,280 {\an1}# Whenever, wherever... # 1139 00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,040 {\an1}- Oh, God. - The thing is, if all else fails, 1140 00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,000 {\an1}just fling your crotch in someone's face. 1141 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,480 {\an1}Listen, it works, clearly. 1142 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,800 {\an1}# If you really feel the way I feel... # 1143 00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:53,320 {\an1} Oh! 1144 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:54,720 {\an1}She were like a whipping top. 1145 00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:57,120 {\an1}- Oh, yes. - Oh! - Very slick. 1146 00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,360 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh! - Whoa! 1147 00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,360 {\an1}I think he just took a foot to the bollocks. 1148 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,680 {\an1}- We'll play that game at Christmas. - That'll be fun. 1149 00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:09,360 {\an1}- Instant Dance. - Give that a whirl. 1150 00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:12,040 {\an1}I've gotta tell you, I've not been that interested in Strictly 1151 00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,400 {\an1}since Ann Widdecombe was used as a mop to clean the Strictly floor. 1152 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,880 {\an1}- Yeah. - But this has definitely rekindled my interest in it. 1153 00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:27,120 {\an1}# In a perfect world 1154 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:35,840 {\an1}# In a perfect world singing out 1155 00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:43,560 {\an1}# In a perfect world 1156 00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:48,840 {\an1}# In a perfect, perfect world. # 1157 00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,080 {\an1}Subtitles by Red Bee Media