1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:04,505 Adult Adam: Back in the '80s I had a lot of crappy jobs. 2 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,174 I worked in an ice-cream shop, an arcade, even on a film set. 3 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:10,677 And with a year off, I found myself working at a '50s diner. 4 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,221 There was one great perk -- 5 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:15,182 I still got to perform for the dinner customers. 6 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,267 Watch where you're going, Biff. 7 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,727 Can it, Spike. 8 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,812 You're just sore 'cause Foxy likes me and not you. 9 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:23,023 Boys, boys, boys, boys. 10 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,608 Boys, no need to fight. 11 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,652 There's plenty of Foxy to go around. 12 00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,362 But we always fight. 13 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,198 We're the Firebirds, the rebels of this town. 14 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,200 And we're the Varsity Club. 15 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,245 We're polite with adults, and we keep it above the waist. 16 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:39,957 Excuse me, I'm adorable and new in town. 17 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:42,000 Can someone tell me where the malt shop is? 18 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,001 You're in it. 19 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,420 I'm lost, too -- in your eyes. 20 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,713 What'sa matter, fellas? 21 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,507 Never seen a girl before? 22 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,801 Not one like this. Va-va-voom! 23 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,177 [ Chuckles ] 24 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,179 You made me drop my lucky comb. 25 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,682 Now I gotta take out my feelings of inadequacy 26 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,600 on Biff's preppy face! 27 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,271 Wait, Spike, maybe we don't have to rumble anymore. 28 00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,898 I mean, we like the same things, don't we? 29 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,233 You mean -- 30 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,569 Both: Girls, cars, and rock and roll! 31 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,861 Hit it, Rocco. 32 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:15,826 ♪♪ 33 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,829 ♪ We're gonna meet some girls and make 'em scream ♪ 34 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,831 ♪♪ 35 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:24,251 ♪ We're gonna talk about their hopes and dreams ♪ 36 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,253 ♪♪ 37 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:29,548 ♪ We're gonna park at night and rock their worlds ♪ 38 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,425 ♪♪ 39 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,678 ♪ We're gonna compliment them on their pearls ♪ 40 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,557 ♪ They're gonna cruise like rockets through the night ♪ 41 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:42,102 ♪ They're gonna fully stop at every light ♪ 42 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,480 ♪ We're gonna stay out late, 'til after dawn ♪ 43 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,232 ♪♪ 44 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:50,610 ♪ We're gonna get up early and mow the lawn ♪ 45 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,154 ♪♪ 46 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,281 ♪ But on one thing they agree ♪ 47 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,576 ♪ One sim-i-lar-i-ty ♪ 48 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,661 ♪ We'd gladly sell our souls ♪ 49 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,122 ♪ For girls, cars, and rock and roll ♪♪ 50 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,291 [ Cheers and applause ] 51 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,084 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 52 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:09,296 ♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪ 53 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,923 -- Captions by VITAC -- 54 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,383 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 55 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:17,387 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 56 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,306 It was November 30th, 1980-something 57 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,932 and to no one's surprise, 58 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,602 Barry was crushing it at medical school. 59 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:27,689 Some of you excelled on your immunology papers. 60 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,650 Others of you 61 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,152 seemed immune to studying. 62 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,946 [ Laughs ] 63 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,282 Dr. Platz takes the driest topics 64 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:38,325 and makes them wet with humor. 65 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:41,828 But this is an opportunity to remind you 66 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:45,832 how demanding the career path you've chosen can be. 67 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,335 [ Laughs ] 68 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,212 I swear, he's got no off switch. 69 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:51,797 But for Straight-A Barry, 70 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:54,216 this exam grade was no laughing matter. 71 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,676 Oh, no. 72 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,136 So he did what he always did -- wildly overreact. 73 00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,596 JTP and others. 74 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:00,681 All: JTP and -- 75 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,934 Enough of your ridiculous chit chat. 76 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,978 Today, I received a B-minus. 77 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,814 A B-minus isn't so bad. 78 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,650 And that, Naked Robert, is why you'll forever be mediocre, 79 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,527 and struggle to support a wife and children. 80 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,737 I'm gonna have a wife and children? Sweet! 81 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,698 But I'll spend the next two weeks 82 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,408 making the necessary changes 83 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,785 so as not to wind up a bum, like Matt Bradley, 84 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,787 or worse, a chiropractor. 85 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:24,913 That seems fair. 86 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:25,997 First order of business -- 87 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,958 I hereby disband the JTP. 88 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,292 Because you're slightly struggling 89 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,877 in med school, we can't hang out? 90 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,087 Not even without me. 91 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,797 The thought of you cavorting in my absence 92 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,132 is way too distracting. 93 00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:36,550 When this meeting is adjourned, 94 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,552 you'll each be assigned different directions to walk in. 95 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,471 And none of them are the directions you came from. 96 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,931 But we live together. 97 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,767 Then you will fill your apartment with Japanese dividers 98 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,602 to only see each other's silhouettes 99 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,438 as you rush to and from the fridge. 100 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,565 Creative and virtually impossible. 101 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,024 You're off to a great start here, babe. 102 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,485 Geoff and Erica, regretfully, I will not be seeing you 103 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,487 during this intense period of study. 104 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,448 Oh, my heart's heavy, Bar. I'm good with it. 105 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:03,243 Baby Muriel, I won't be available for the interactions 106 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,412 that bond us as uncle and girl-nephew. 107 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,455 But to the extent that I care, 108 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:07,998 which is slightly above not at all, 109 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,207 is Joanne also getting the gift 110 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,584 of not seeing you for two weeks? 111 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,377 Bite your tongue, sister. 112 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,296 Joanne is my sleepy-time companion. 113 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,797 [ All gag ] 114 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:18,300 Yay, graphic details of my sister's robust intimate life. 115 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,677 And I'll require silence in this house. 116 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,512 It is way too loud and chaotic! 117 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,889 That's 100% because of you. 118 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,640 Bar, maybe we should spend 119 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,309 the next two weeks at my parents' house. 120 00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,686 Yeah, their bland personalities and drab home 121 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,062 will be way less distracting. 122 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,272 And Lou is sort of a doctor, 123 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,149 so he'll understand my delicate needs. 124 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,150 Our dad's an actual doctor. 125 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,568 He's an eye doctor. 126 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,862 That's the chiropractor of the face. 127 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,655 Meeting adjourned. 128 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,699 As Barry was hunkering down in his studies, 129 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,743 I was cleaning up at the diner. 130 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,912 You need to put a little bit more elbow grease on that. 131 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,371 Oh, I'm not trying to clean it. 132 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,040 I'm just trying to look busy until my shift ends. 133 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,167 Wow. You are management material. 134 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,168 [ Chuckles ] 135 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,544 So, you got any plans? 136 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,921 I do. 137 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,547 Hone my craft at NYU Film School, 138 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,341 jump into indies and low budget stuff, 139 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,134 and ultimately create summer blockbusters 140 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,511 that make more money than sense. 141 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,554 I meant tonight, like, after work. 142 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:05,764 Of course you did. 143 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,432 And again, it's a yes. 144 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,226 Tuesdays have become movie night with my old lady. 145 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,852 You have a girlfriend? 146 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,021 Older lady. My mom. 147 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,815 Oh, well, that's too bad 148 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,525 'cause we're all going out to TJ O'Funn's. 149 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,776 [ Breathes sharply ] You should come. 150 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,445 Sorry, previously engaged. 151 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:23,031 To be clear, I'm not engaged to my mom. 152 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,699 Lovely gal, but not for me. 153 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,993 Okay. You have fun. 154 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,578 [ Door creaks ] 155 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,955 Whoa, it was awesome 156 00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,498 how uncomfortable that was, Goldnerd. 157 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,749 I savored every gross moment. 158 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:33,875 What are you talking about? 159 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,211 Carmen clearly likes you, bro. 160 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,547 No way! Women don't pursue me. 161 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,340 Look we can all agree she must be totally broken in the head, 162 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,633 but it seems to be real. 163 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:44,302 So the only question is -- do you like her? 164 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,555 Carmen, who when I make eye contact with, 165 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,306 I blush like a harvest apple? 166 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,724 Yeah, there's a fondness. 167 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,560 Then you should totally come out with us tonight. 168 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,271 I would, but Tuesday nights are for my mom. 169 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:57,023 As are Fridays, Sundays and cuddle-fest Thursdays. 170 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,608 She calls me her warmest blanket. 171 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,278 Seriously, bro, are you a child? 172 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:04,197 No, although I still go to a pediatrician, 173 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,241 but that's just because he knows my body better than anyone. 174 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,368 Just tell your mommy that something came up 175 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,995 and you'll do weird stuff with her next time. 176 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,997 Good advice, hurtfully delivered. 177 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,959 Hey, Carmen, I was wondering, 178 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,210 are those plans still on the table? 179 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,421 Totally. Be there or be square. 180 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,631 Oh, I think I'm gonna prove to you that I can do both. Oh. 181 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:24,342 I was fully in on plans with my work friends. 182 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:27,262 All I had to do was break the news to my mom. 183 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,180 Mama, I'm not going to be able to see 184 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,223 "Endless Love" with you tonight. 185 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,641 What?! [ Sighs ] 186 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,394 That's the quintessential mother-son movie. 187 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,188 It's certainly an unsettling description of that saucy film. 188 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,691 I'm sorry, but I made some plans with my pals from work. 189 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,527 And their parents are okay with them roving around town 190 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,362 like a bunch of sailors on shore leave? 191 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,364 They're 20, and it's dinner at a chain restaurant 192 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,490 in the lobby of the Sheraton. 193 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,700 You have been wanting to find 194 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,452 the lad some same-aged compadres. 195 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,578 Wait. 196 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,538 You guys discuss my social life? 197 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,123 You're one of our favorite subjects. 198 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:58,001 That, and Ginzy's impossibly green lawn. 199 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,045 What is she doing that I'm not? 200 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,463 And why is she such a [bleep] about it? 201 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,464 You know what, Adam? 202 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,799 Go. Have fun with your friends. 203 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:07,636 Thank you for recognizing that I'm not a child anymore. 204 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,721 Also, may I have $20 for dinner? 205 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,139 I'm saving up my work money 206 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,099 for a Skyhammer Ultra Pretender Transformer. 207 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,603 While I was planning to head out on the town, 208 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,855 Barry was settling in at the Schwartzes'. 209 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,607 A study treat for Barry? 210 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,484 He's under so much pressure. 211 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,444 He couldn't choose a flavor, so he said, 212 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,237 "Just make one with all the fruits." 213 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,657 Well, our children and grandchild 214 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,201 spend so much time at the Goldbergs', 215 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:34,204 I guess it's nice to have one of theirs for a change. 216 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,206 Even if it's not the one anyone really wanted. 217 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,666 [ Chuckles ] 218 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,959 Here is your pie. 219 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,462 Oh, heavens, your feet are on the table, yeah, 220 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,422 in the exact same spot that I eat and pray. 221 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,716 Sorry, Linda, but my big brain only works 222 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,051 when my little piggies are happy. 223 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,886 What happened to my horse figurines?! 224 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,888 Yeah. We got rid of them. 225 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,598 They were staring right at me. 226 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:56,267 Barry doesn't get along with horses or zebras. 227 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,435 They're the horses of Africa. 228 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,896 Zebras are nothing like horses. 229 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,773 This is madness. 230 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,067 While Barry was proving to be a difficult guest, 231 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:07,112 I was feeling right at home with my work friends. 232 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,738 Look at us, sipping drinks on a weeknight 233 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,073 like we're in Barcelona. 234 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,616 Okay, you two, beat it. 235 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:12,617 Johnny out. 236 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,743 Byeee. 237 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,078 Whoa, that was abrupt. 238 00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,371 Is it because Johnny burped 239 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,747 the "Battle Hymn of the Republic"? 240 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,833 [ Chuckles ] Well, that and so that 241 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,252 it would be just you and me. 242 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:23,753 Interesting. [ Both chuckle ] 243 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,004 And it was. 244 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,548 Alone with a girl I liked? 245 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:29,884 This would require a few drinks, so we drank. 246 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,636 My new prescription is fun! 247 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,679 [ Both laugh ] 248 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,806 Wait, these are actually helping. 249 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,558 You are not like other guys I meet. 250 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,934 But I can change. 251 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,060 Give me a list of their attributes. 252 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,854 I'll get to work. [ Both laugh ] 253 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,772 We drank a lot. 254 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,442 It was a night I'd never forget, 255 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,527 except for how I got here. 256 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,945 Hey. 257 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,321 [ Breathes deeply ] 258 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,198 Oh, where am I? 259 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,867 [ Chuckles ] You crashed on my couch. 260 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,368 Without my bedtime milk? 261 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,620 Apparently. Oh, balls! 262 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,914 Did anything happen? 263 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,083 Yeah, we robbed like six banks. 264 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,501 Oh, my God! What?! 265 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:04,586 [ Laughs ] 266 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,004 We smooched on the couch a little, 267 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,422 and then you passed out. 268 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:08,798 Oh, well, 269 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,342 I am profoundly sorry for my ungentlemanly deeds. 270 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,136 Don't be. I had fun. 271 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,804 Okay, but I should go. 272 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,181 My mom tends to worry. 273 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,308 Yeah, her name came up an uncomfortable amount. 274 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,352 I just had to sneak back home 275 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,812 before my mom knew what happened. 276 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,439 How hard could that be? 277 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,690 Turns out, pretty hard. 278 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,192 Excuse me, sir. 279 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,943 Sir, you need to come with me. 280 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,488 Is there a law against taking a morning stroll 281 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,073 in the same pants, shirt, and unmentionables 282 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:33,907 you wore the night before? 283 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,200 I'm not here to arrest you. 284 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,410 I'm here for the reward. Reward? 285 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:44,084 ♪♪ 286 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,502 Oh, my God. 287 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,586 You're the "baby angel" 288 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,546 who was "stolen from her breast," right? 289 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,672 You know I am. 290 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,673 Let's just ride. 291 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:57,430 I knew my mom was worried that I was out all night, 292 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,265 but maybe we could discuss it like reasonable people. 293 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,227 Where in the [bleep] were you? 294 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,562 Ooh, coming in hot but deserved. 295 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,731 Why is my high school guidance counselor here? 296 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,150 When will you acknowledge that I have transitioned 297 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:12,570 from scholastic acquaintance to top-tier family friend? 298 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,073 I aged years last night worrying about you, 299 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,575 though you would never know it because of my fabulous skin. 300 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,869 It's like a fine Dutch porcelain. Thank you. 301 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:20,995 Would "just a guidance counselor" 302 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,080 say something that personal? 303 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,456 I don't think so. 304 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,333 Look, I'm really sorry that you were worried. 305 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,127 I should have called. The night got away from me. 306 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,795 Well, that makes everything okay. 307 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:32,507 And that is sarcasm as only a close friend would recognize. 308 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,384 And may I ask where you slept? 309 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,344 I have the same question. 310 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,179 At Carmen's. 311 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,306 And what did Carmen's parents have to say about that? 312 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,307 She lives alone. 313 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,893 Oh, Carmen lives alone, 314 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,646 like the bawdy heroine of a Danielle Steel novel. 315 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,231 No supervision, 316 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:51,317 just Sodom and Gomorrah over at Carmen's place! 317 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,319 It's actually a -- a pleasant one-bedroom. 318 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,654 And that's the last time you're ever gonna be 319 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,156 in that den of sin, 320 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,158 because I forbid you from ever speaking to Carmen again. 321 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,325 A line in the sand. 322 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,994 You can't forbid me from seeing her. 323 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,287 We work together. 324 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,997 That harlot is leading you astray. 325 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,417 It's none of your business, but we just kissed. 326 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,711 Ugh! I don't need a recap of the "The Blue Lagoon." 327 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:10,920 Mom, come on. 328 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,172 I'm almost 20. 329 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,715 I don't care if you're almost 90. 330 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,217 If you're living under my roof, you will live by my rules. 331 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,303 Maybe I'll live under Carmen's roof! 332 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,430 She has way too much wicker for a young person, 333 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,557 but I'll make do! 334 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,851 I had no interest in listening to my mom, 335 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:28,688 but Joanne wanted to hear some relationship advice from Geoff. 336 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,356 Got a sec? Sure. 337 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,108 I'm just putting some new laces on Erica's favorite boots. 338 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,027 Really? She asked you to do that? 339 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,695 Oh, I just do it before she has to ask. 340 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,363 It's much better for everyone that way. 341 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,490 That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. 342 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,700 Is it me, or is it sometimes 343 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,535 hard to be in a relationship with a Goldberg? 344 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,621 Sometimes? [ Laughs ] 345 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,580 Shut the door. 346 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,458 [ Sighs ] Barry's been staying with me, 347 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,210 and Mom and Dad, and it's been -- 348 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,587 Difficult? Tricky? A minefield? 349 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,255 Yes! We're trying to help him, 350 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,798 but nothing we ever do is good enough. 351 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,550 Goldberg children were raised to believe 352 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,177 that the entire world revolves around them. 353 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,221 And it is our job as their significant other 354 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,223 to reinforce that belief every day. 355 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,557 Here's a fun way to think about it. 356 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,018 Why does this house have so many chalkboards? 357 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,479 FISS? Is that a new cola that'll put Barry to sleep? 358 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,731 It's the acronym that every Goldberg significant other 359 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,149 must live by -- 360 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,152 flatter, inflate their ego, serve their every need, 361 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,904 and spoil them, just like they're used to. 362 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,281 I'm not sure I can or should do all of that. 363 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,867 Oh, believe me, if you put your mind to it, you can FISS. 364 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,827 You may not take as much joy in FISS-ing as I do, 365 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,204 but that's because I was born to FISS. 366 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,705 You'll get there. Erica: Geoff! 367 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,753 Yo, those boots almost done? 368 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,921 Uh, yes, my combustible flower. 369 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,256 I'm so sorry for the delay. 370 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,465 It's just I was talking to my sister, 371 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:38,758 but it won't happen again. 372 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,551 Cool, cool. 373 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,053 While Joanne realized she needed to stay one step 374 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,805 ahead of Barry's needs, 375 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,224 my mom was trying to stay ahead of my love life. 376 00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:49,060 Adam, thank God you're okay. 377 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,728 Brea, what are you doing here? 378 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,897 I rushed here when I heard about the accident. What accident? 379 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,774 Your mom said you were in a horrible car wreck 380 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,234 and it was touch and go. 381 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:59,112 Oh, no, Brea, you must have misheard me. 382 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:02,156 See, when Adam was four, I was driving him to preschool, 383 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,700 and we got in a little fender bender. 384 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,368 That is not at all what you said. 385 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,661 Words, huh? 386 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,621 They mean different things to different people. 387 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,123 Anyway, you're here now, 388 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,792 so why don't you two reconnect over some blondies? 389 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,753 Mom, did you drag Brea all the way down here to see me? 390 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:18,464 "All the way down here"? Don't be so dramatic. 391 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,258 Providence is practically next door. 392 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,759 It was 6 1/2 hours by bus, 393 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,761 next to an asthmatic man who kept passing out on me. 394 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,431 Exactly, easy breezy, guy was wheezy. 395 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:27,724 [ Chuckles ] 396 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,268 You guys used to like to watch movies, right? 397 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:34,314 "Goonies," "Say Anything," ooh, "Weekend at Bernie's," -- 398 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,858 the lead actor is a dead human being. 399 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,651 [ Laughs ] Comedy! 400 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,654 Mom, you have crossed a line from which there is no return! 401 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,822 What do you mean, Schmoo? 402 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,074 I just happened to call your ex Brea, 403 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,909 who I have always adored, by the way. 404 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,619 You made me sit alone at Thanksgiving. 405 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,038 You called it the Brea table. 406 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,373 I thought you'd like your own table, Princess. 407 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,417 [ Chuckles ] Well, the point is, 408 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,210 you and Adam were made for each other. 409 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,004 I finally see it now. 410 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,255 You're just pulling out all the stops 411 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,965 'cause you don't want me with Carmen. 412 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,216 Carmen? 413 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,469 A girl I'm kinda seeing at work. 414 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,262 And somehow it gets even more awkward. 415 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,723 So I did a little bit of matchmaking. 416 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,225 But look at how adorable Brea is. 417 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,685 You were in love with her before. 418 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,188 Why don't you just jump right back on that bike, huh? 419 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,773 Lucky me, I'm the bike here. 420 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,232 Get this through your head -- 421 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,650 if you don't start treating me like an adult, 422 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,860 you and I are finished. 423 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,571 ♪♪ 424 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,698 I don't think this was the best use of my midterm week. 425 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,909 While I laid down the law with my mom, 426 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:30,703 Joanne was trying to step up her support of Barry, 427 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,871 starting with flattery. 428 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,956 Ooh! There's my super-smart fella, 429 00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,750 getting his immunology on. 430 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,251 You're in my light. 431 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:40,004 And what'd I say about clomping around in such loud shoes? 432 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,256 I'm barefoot. Around this place? 433 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,341 Yuck. 434 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,510 She tried inflating his ego. 435 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,844 Congratulations, 436 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:49,055 you are Medical School Student of the Month, 437 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,556 which is totally a real thing. 438 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,766 Great, just put it over there 439 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,017 where the others will eventually go. 440 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,477 She tried serving him. 441 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:57,230 Six different types of salami, just like you requested. 442 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,940 I requested seven. 443 00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,608 They were out of capicola. What? 444 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,069 At least tell me they had all five of the cheeses I asked for. 445 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,363 No Havarti. It's not a party without Havarti. 446 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,949 I have to walk this off. 447 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,700 And she tried spoiling him. 448 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,328 Okay. I washed your car, I brushed your hair, 449 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,288 and I whispered, "You're a champion," in your ear. 450 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,707 Fanning isn't working. I'm still slightly dewy. 451 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,042 You could take your sweater off. 452 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,585 It would take too long. Linda! 453 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,838 May I trouble you for a freshly brewed iced tea 454 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,506 and three Popsicles?! 455 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,134 Sorry, Barry, but Lou and I have to suddenly go away. 456 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,385 Where are you going? 457 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,886 We'll think of somewhere in the car. 458 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,680 No one can live like this. Go, go, go, go, go. 459 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,640 Ah, just as well. 460 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,433 I don't think they knew how distracting they were. [ Door opens, closes ] 461 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,019 With that, Joanne finally had enough. 462 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,312 You know what? 463 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:39,564 You suck. 464 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:40,815 What? 465 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,567 All I've done is try to help you, 466 00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,402 but you just keep demanding more. 467 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,820 You've chased my parents away, 468 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,655 and all you think about is yourself. 469 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,783 Joanne, you know I'm going through a difficult time. 470 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,285 What if I can't make it in med school 471 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,162 and don't become a top-ranked surgeon? 472 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,622 Barry, that doesn't give you the right to be awful. 473 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,541 You know what? Go FISS yourself. 474 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:02,670 ♪♪ 475 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,134 My mom finally understood that she'd pushed me too far 476 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,719 about Carmen, and she was determined to make it right. 477 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:10,720 Oh, hello, Carmen. 478 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,513 Oh, you must be Beverly. 479 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,473 How did you know? Adam described you. 480 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:15,975 You are pretty unmistakable. 481 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,227 Yes, yes. I am a blonde bombshell. 482 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,188 [ Chuckles ] His words probably. 483 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:21,522 Uh, he's in the back. I'll go get him. 484 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,233 Oh, actually, I wanted to speak to you. 485 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,611 Speak to me? 486 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:30,489 Adam was right, he is an adult man with adult needs. 487 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:31,991 O-kay. 488 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,953 Therefore, the two of you are welcome to use our home 489 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,664 whenever you like as your love nest. 490 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,166 Oh, boy. 491 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,375 There's a working Jacuzzi in the basement. 492 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,669 It takes about 4 hours to properly heat. 493 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,670 I don't need to know this. 494 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,380 The weekend of the 16th, 495 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:49,091 I will be in Delaware at a sweater expo. 496 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:52,345 You might want to circle those dates in your calendar. 497 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,722 Why would I -- We're not big drinkers, 498 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:58,142 but in the garage there are wine coolers, 499 00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,727 Chablis... Oh. 500 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,772 ...beer with a blue ribbon on it signifying quality. Mnh. 501 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:03,814 Please help yourselves 502 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,608 to whatever would set an adult mood. 503 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,235 I'm rarely uncomfortable, but -- Oh! 504 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,778 There's a baby living in our house, 505 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,447 so I would ask that you keep the sounds of your passion 506 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,990 down to a reasonable volume. 507 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,242 Okay, that's enough. 508 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:18,079 Um, Adam is a very sweet guy, 509 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,538 but we're just getting to know each other. 510 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,749 That's all that's going on. I see. 511 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,334 I know I'm not the one to tell you this, 512 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,711 but if Adam was in college right now, 513 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,965 he would be meeting new people, trying new things, 514 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,466 even making mistakes, 515 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,677 and you would not be there for any of that. 516 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:34,887 So what are you saying? I'm saying, 517 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,931 if you want to continue having a relationship 518 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:40,601 with your son into adulthood, you gotta give him some space. 519 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,603 ♪♪ 520 00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:46,148 You make some [sighs] good points. 521 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,025 I'm pretty smart for someone who skipped college. 522 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,112 You skipped college? 523 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,029 I'm gonna go. 524 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:54,865 Oh, my dear God. 525 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,410 Carmen had given my mom a lot to think about. 526 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,287 And Barry was still thinking about how badly 527 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,496 he'd messed up with Joanne. 528 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,747 Hey. 529 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,291 What's wrong? Another bad grade? 530 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:04,959 [ Sighs ] Yeah. 531 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,919 I'm failing as a boyfriend. 532 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,504 Yeah, I get it. 533 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,798 I know I could be better to Geoff sometimes. 534 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,384 Did Mom just raise us to be the worst? 535 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,970 No. Mom made us the center of her universe 536 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,763 and always put our needs first. 537 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,599 The only problem is that we kind of grew up 538 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,267 expecting everyone else in the world 539 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,768 to treat us the way that she does. 540 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,645 Well, you're the center of Geoff's universe. 541 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,355 There's nobody like Geoff. 542 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,648 God bless him, he wakes up thinking 543 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,859 about how to make my life better. 544 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:30,901 You're pretty lucky. 545 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:33,070 The luckiest. 546 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,363 But one day the dam might break 547 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,948 and he'll have a full meltdown, 548 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:39,327 which will cause me to face some difficult truths about myself, 549 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,162 but until then, I got it pretty good. 550 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:42,788 Yeah, but Joanne's not like that. 551 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,457 No she's not. 552 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,626 She's a tough cookie. 553 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,170 But trust me, when you're with a Schwartz, 554 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,047 you do not want to lose them. 555 00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:53,924 [ "Something About You" plays ] 556 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,343 I think I finally get it. 557 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,761 Good. 558 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,095 Now tell Geoff to get in here. 559 00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:01,015 I gotta tell that sexy dork how much I love him. 560 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,643 Love can take many forms. 561 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,812 Sometimes it's about giving people space. 562 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,105 Got a sec? 563 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,690 I guess. 564 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:10,941 ♪ How... ♪ 565 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:14,278 [ Sighs ] A wise person has told me 566 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:17,406 I've been too controlling with my very adult son. 567 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,408 That person makes a lot of sense. 568 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,620 ♪ ...fashioned by fate could suffer so hard? ♪ 569 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:26,040 Look, I know I've said this before, 570 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,835 but I am gonna try to back off a little. 571 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,671 I would appreciate that, 572 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:35,091 but it is also nice to know how much you care. 573 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:38,135 And I'll never stop. 574 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:41,222 But to that end, uh, the next time you're gonna be late... 575 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,099 I'll call. You better. 576 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:47,687 ♪ Is it so wrong to be human after all? ♪ 577 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,563 Other times, it's just about showing 578 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:51,691 how much you appreciate them. 579 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,109 What's all this? 580 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,694 You guys tried so hard to help, 581 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,070 it's the least I can do. 582 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,155 But don't you have to study? 583 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,241 Ah, it can wait. 584 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,367 My whole life, being a doctor 585 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,827 was the most important thing to me, 586 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,286 but then I met you. 587 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,831 ♪ We're only human after all ♪ 588 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:07,915 ♪ Oh, these changing years ♪ 589 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:10,126 Let's eat. [ Chuckles ] 590 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,961 But one thing that's as true now 591 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:14,505 as it was in the '80s [Chuckling] and the '50s... 592 00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,549 [ Chuckles ] 593 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,718 ...is that if you have people around you 594 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,177 who give you what you need... 595 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,429 Wait, no, w-wait. What? 596 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:22,888 Sit. 597 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,349 ...you're never fully on your own. 598 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:33,107 ♪ Because there's something about you, baby, so right ♪ 599 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,320 Adam, do you know how I got in here just now? 600 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:42,158 You walked. Yes, but first I used this. 601 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,534 I'm pretty sure it was unlocked. 602 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,202 Well, I could've used this. 603 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,203 Do you know what this is? 604 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,038 A key to the Goldberg home. 605 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,833 And why would I be entrusted with such a precious item? 606 00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,834 I bet you're gonna tell me. 607 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,502 It's a token of my place 608 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,756 as the unspoken official member of your family. 609 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,091 Let's emphasize the unspoken part. 610 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:02,595 I was at all your graduations, Erica's wedding reception, 611 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,889 and when baby Muriel came home from the hospital, 612 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,849 who was the 13th person to hold her? 613 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,393 Someone who loves to interrupt a man's breakfast? 614 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:12,772 John Latifa Glascott, the permanent holder 615 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,065 of the golden key of trust. 616 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,193 Ah! There's my emergency spare. 617 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,987 Ginzy's back home from vacation, so it's hers again. 618 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,364 Rats and mice! I was so close. 619 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,324 [ Sighs ] 620 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,118 I'm taking an orange.