1 00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:05,440 Back in the '80s, my brother was an unlikely ladies' man. 2 00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:07,877 But when he met Joanne, an equally unpredictable wildcard, 3 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:10,140 he finally found his perfect fit. 4 00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:13,404 Thank you for attending this emergency presentation 5 00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:16,320 of our plans for your bachelor and bachelorette parties. 6 00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:18,105 None of this seems like an emergency. 7 00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,324 Shut up! Let's begin with diving, 8 00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,500 scuba, cliff, and sky. 9 00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:24,154 Your body might explode 10 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:25,547 from all the drastic changes in pressure. 11 00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:26,809 Yeah, the only thing I'm jumping out of 12 00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,593 is bed every morning at 5:00. 13 00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,073 More time for a lazy breakfast with a book. 14 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,336 Fret not, my gutless friend. 15 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,686 I'll strap you to my back so if the chute doesn't open, 16 00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:37,298 we'll smash together into an indecipherable slop 17 00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:38,864 that our parents will pour into a single grave. 18 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,910 - Aw. - Fun. 19 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,042 Joanne, what do you got for me? 20 00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,740 Are we doing the two-man soup coffin? 21 00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:47,917 Better! We will be flying to Seville to run with the bulls! 22 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:50,267 Or possibly Chicago to run with Bulls forward Scottie Pippen. 23 00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:52,095 I prefer neither. 24 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:53,618 Hell you say? 25 00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,925 I spent minutes on this stuff. 26 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,406 Sorry, we're just not interested in group danger or injury. 27 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,409 But it is my duty as your best man 28 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:04,368 to possibly ruin your life with one filthy weekend. 29 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,066 And my duty as a person who wants to do 30 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,589 improper and vulgar stuff. 31 00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,373 We have the solution. 32 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,071 We're going to do a simple, co-ed weekend 33 00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:13,377 with our friends - at the beach. - Boring! 34 00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:14,726 It won't be as boring as you think 35 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,815 because all of your exes will be there. 36 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:17,990 Bar, will you be okay spending time 37 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,383 with Lainey, Ren, and Valley Erica? 38 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:20,863 Worry about them. 39 00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:22,865 I'll be parading around in my white Speedo 40 00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:24,475 with foxy Joanne in her white Speedo. 41 00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,303 Aw. Yeah, aw. 42 00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,827 Get over here. Oh, ooh! 43 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,916 ♪ I'm twisted up inside 44 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,658 ♪ But nonetheless I feel the need to say 45 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,533 ♪ I don't know the future 46 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:41,536 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 47 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,712 It was February 23rd, 1980-something, 48 00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:45,583 and my mom was meeting with the officiant 49 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:48,020 of my sister's wedding, my dad's friend, Vic. 50 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:50,849 And I boned up on your people's marriage rituals, 51 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,895 and nowhere in your sacred texts 52 00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,549 is it kosher for the mother-in-law 53 00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,116 to hold hands with the bride and groom 54 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,161 as they do their vows. 55 00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,207 I guess we'll just have to wait for our three-person dance. 56 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,252 Beverly, I assume you've seen 57 00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:03,645 this morning's Jenkintown Examiner? 58 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,255 Ooh, I love the Examiner. 59 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:08,432 They did that expose on the donut place I like. 60 00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:11,696 My love of crullers helped fund the war in Nicaragua. 61 00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:14,308 No, this is about our children's wedding announcement. 62 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,310 Kinda what I wanted to talk to you about, Beverly. 63 00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:21,010 "Geoffrey Todd Schwartz, son of L and L Schwartz, 64 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:23,621 "to wed Erica Goldberg, daughter of Beverly Goldberg, 65 00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:27,756 "beloved cookbook author, beloved almost lawyer, 66 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:30,802 "and beloved Quaker Warden of William Penn Academy." 67 00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:33,240 Are you concerned there aren't enough "beloveds?" 68 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:36,808 I faxed you a cornucopia of biographical information, 69 00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,071 none of which you included. 70 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,377 Space was limited. 71 00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:43,032 So limited you couldn't include our first names? 72 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,948 And why is there a photo of you? 73 00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:48,820 Well, I commissioned a portrait, but it wasn't ready. 74 00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,866 Now, thanks for stopping by, 75 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,737 but I have a wedding to plan. 76 00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:55,044 Well, why don't I take something off your hands? 77 00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,916 Uh, well, you could valet the cars? 78 00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,744 I'm the father of the groom. 79 00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:03,661 Also, I can't get in and out of those low Japanese models. 80 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:06,490 How 'bout this? I make the video tribute. 81 00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:07,926 Adam's on that. 82 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,711 Oh, Adam's not on that. 83 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:12,496 These are the last couple months with m'lady friend, Brea, 84 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:15,673 so I'm kinda trying to... you know, make hay. 85 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,545 The fellas get it. 86 00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,677 - Not really. - A little shame is a good thing, son. 87 00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:21,505 So it's decided then. 88 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,333 Now if you'll excuse me, 89 00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:24,856 I probably should return this to the library. 90 00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:28,033 You gotta spy on Lou while he makes this video. 91 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,514 - No thanks! - Yes, thanks! 92 00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:33,213 This wedding is a sacred event to our family. 93 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,650 I need to know if Lou Schwartz is doing me dirty! 94 00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:37,304 Doing you dirty? 95 00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,175 The man has season tickets to something called 96 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,177 "Jazz Under the Stars." 97 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:42,700 I'll buy you something expensive. 98 00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:44,659 That's all you had to say. 99 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:47,052 While my mom suspected Lou was up to no good, 100 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,707 Geoff and Erica were down the shore for their big weekend. 101 00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,187 What's with the flowers? 102 00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:52,971 They're for Barry's exes. 103 00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,059 He thought it'd be a nice way to welcome them. 104 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,235 While my former lovers 105 00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:56,497 may no longer be able 106 00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:57,628 to enjoy my ripped bod 107 00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,369 or neon charisma, 108 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:00,892 these flowers from the open lot across the street 109 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:01,850 should ease the longing. 110 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:03,417 I'm gonna ignore it all 111 00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:04,679 and ask that you never - say "lovers" again. - Hi. 112 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,072 JTP! 113 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,292 JTP! My boys are in the house! 114 00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:10,902 Yeah, we are! 115 00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:13,165 - And we're psyched, man! - Totally. 116 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,732 When we first heard you were doing something nontraditional, 117 00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,604 we were like, "What?" 118 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,519 Yeah, but then we realized we're single men. 119 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:19,998 We can do unspeakable acts any time we want. 120 00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,391 Oh, big time. 121 00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,001 I am just one bad choice away 122 00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:24,829 from ruining my life and many others. 123 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,483 Well, why don't you dip your toes in these rough waters 124 00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:27,963 and try this crudites plate? 125 00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:29,573 Oh, carrot crazy. 126 00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,358 We made it! 127 00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,577 Barely. We had a little problem with our flight. 128 00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:36,058 Uh, a flight of tequila at our stopover in Detroit. 129 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,321 Yeah. I like the clear kind and also the other kind. 130 00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,149 - Oh. - So much. 131 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:43,065 There they are, all my former flames. 132 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,241 Just a little bit dimmer. 133 00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:47,287 Here, let me throw some kerosene on that. 134 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:48,505 And what are these for? 135 00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:49,680 For your bravery. 136 00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,682 Why are we brave, exactly? 137 00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:54,294 Well, you showed up here at the great personal cost 138 00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:55,773 of being around me 139 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,863 and my erotically potent lady friend, Joanne. 140 00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:00,952 She's also my sister, so it takes time getting used to. 141 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:03,912 Anyway, you gutsy spinsters need help with your bags? 142 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:04,956 Oh, we're good. The guys are on it. 143 00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:07,916 Guys? On it? Good? 144 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:11,311 Everyone, this is my husband, Dr. Stephen Stephens. 145 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,269 His name is ridiculous, but he is rad. 146 00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:14,705 It's nice to meet all of you. 147 00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:17,186 Oh, I should take this. 148 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,406 Dan Majerle pulled his groin again. 149 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:20,798 "Thunder" Dan Majerle from the Phoenix Suns? 150 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,539 Dr. Steve is their doctor. 151 00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,628 He's, like, always dealing with their groins. 152 00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:26,064 You hear that, Bar? 153 00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:27,892 Dr. Stevie Stevenson has your dream job. 154 00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,981 Please. 155 00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:32,244 Does he also own a secret chocolate factory on the side, 156 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:33,637 but instead of chocolate, it's biscuits? 157 00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,597 I just met him, but I'm 100% certain no. 158 00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:37,772 - No, right? - No, it's definitely no. 159 00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:38,860 - No. - Oh! 160 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,036 This is my special guy. Mwah! 161 00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,255 - Also Steve. - Am I crazy, or does he look familiar? 162 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,605 Okay, nobody freak out, 163 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,476 but Steve is one of Willie Aames' stand-ins 164 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,043 on the TV show Charles in Charge. 165 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:51,481 Oh, so cool! Big deal. 166 00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:54,092 So you have his curls, his dimples, his easy way. 167 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:55,659 You don't have his bank account. 168 00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,618 No, but my dad invented two-sided tape, 169 00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,184 so I'm much richer. 170 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,360 Bonjour! 171 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,666 - Is place? - Is place. Come here. 172 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,103 Guys, meet my new boy toy, Stephan. 173 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:06,453 He's very pretty. 174 00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:09,499 Yeah, he is, and so tall, too. 175 00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:11,545 We're gonna be fast friends. 176 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:14,504 Uh, unlikely. The only English he knows is "Is place?" 177 00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:16,898 Oh, then how'd you two get together? 178 00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:19,857 You know, we have other ways of communicating. 179 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,381 - Mmm-hmm. - Mmm-hmm. 180 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,339 Okay, who wants - top bunk? - Whoo! 181 00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:25,689 - This way. - That way. 182 00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,735 I guess she's just gonna keep us hanging on the other ways. 183 00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:30,041 Barry, this is great. 184 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:31,434 You were worried about nothing. 185 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,523 All of your exes are thriving. 186 00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:37,527 Oh, sweet, impossibly naive Joanne, don't you see? 187 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,486 They're not thriving. They're dying inside. 188 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,313 - They are? - Yes. 189 00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,490 It's all an elaborate, multi-person charade 190 00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,492 to hide their true feelings for moi. 191 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,450 It would be sad if it wasn't hilarious. 192 00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,626 Laugh with me. 193 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:55,502 As Barry was seeing his exes in a new light, 194 00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,634 something dark was going on with Lou's wedding tribute. 195 00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,419 Hi, Dr. Schwartz. 196 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:00,637 My mom sent me over with some family photos 197 00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:02,291 for the wedding montage video. 198 00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,032 I'll be sure to add them to the pile. 199 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,469 My mom was also hoping I could help out with the video. 200 00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:09,472 No need. I've already hired a pro. 201 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,083 Oddly, his name is also Adam Goldberg. 202 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,912 Well, well, Adam Goldberg the lesser. 203 00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,174 You two know each other? 204 00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:19,439 Former foes, current apathetic acquaintances. 205 00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:20,918 Future who knows. 206 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,050 I thought you moved to Hollywood 207 00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,878 to work in the dream factories. 208 00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:27,098 I did, armed with the best Mr. Belvedere script ever written. 209 00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:28,578 The studio brass said that? 210 00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:31,973 My nana did. She's impeccable with story. 211 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,976 Unfortunately, the entirety of show business disagreed. 212 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,281 None of this came out in the interview, 213 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,457 but thanks for dropping by, Adam. 214 00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:39,154 I'd like him to stay. 215 00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:41,504 I need some extra hands sorting all this crap. 216 00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,767 You mean my treasured family memories? 217 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,465 It's pictures set to music. 218 00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,336 It ain't Belvedere, brother. 219 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,556 Maybe I can see - what you have so far? - No, no, no, no. 220 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:52,689 You can start by fueling up our creative tanks with coffee. 221 00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,822 Oh, I'm no good with tasks. 222 00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,780 That's the industry, kid. 223 00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:58,390 You start at the bottom and work your way up 224 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:01,568 to paying rent to live in your nana's sunroom. 225 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,613 And so, instead of keeping an eye on Lou, 226 00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:06,790 I was keeping an eye on his lengthy to-do list. 227 00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:08,618 I got the dry cleaning. 228 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:09,750 It would've been easier if you had given me the ticket, 229 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,882 or the address. 230 00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:13,580 I'm back from the vet. 231 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:16,800 Mitzy's anal glands are officially expressed. 232 00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:19,803 Back from all the McDonald's in the Philly area. 233 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,066 Turns out it's not Shamrock Shake season, 234 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,286 as I gently tried to explain to you. 235 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:25,809 I'm back. 236 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,637 Where's Lou? 237 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,118 I somehow found extra-large toenail clippers. 238 00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:33,556 Wait, you haven't even cracked open my mom's photo album yet. 239 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,298 Welcome to the nasty side of weddings, pal. 240 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,343 It's not all about the happy couple's special day. 241 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,128 What are you saying? 242 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:42,870 I'm saying this video tribute is all Schwartz. 243 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:45,089 As Lou was putting his family front and center, 244 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,874 my brother was calling for backup. 245 00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,615 Thank you for coming to 246 00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:51,226 this emergency 6:00 a.m. meeting of the JTP. 247 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,880 You told us there'd be bagels and OJ. 248 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,143 That was a cover for the reason we're gathering, 249 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,188 to stop my exes from ruining this weekend. 250 00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:58,755 But there's a poppy seed and juice in front of you... 251 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,017 That's where I got 252 00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:01,889 the idea for the lie. 253 00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:03,020 Think before you interrupt me, 254 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,631 Matt Bradley. 255 00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:06,154 How exactly are Lainey, Ren, and Valley Erica 256 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:07,285 ruining the weekend? 257 00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,070 Well, it's become painfully clear 258 00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:10,985 that they're not over me and desperately want me back. 259 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:12,377 That is not clear. 260 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,944 One of them is married. 261 00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:16,164 Yeah, last night I heard Stephan and Ren's 262 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:17,557 fondness for each other through the wall. 263 00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:19,428 They snatched up a trio of losers 264 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,082 to try and ease the pain of seeing me. 265 00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:23,867 Dude. Steve runs with the brat pack's B-team, 266 00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,869 Dr. Steve rebuilt Jeff Hornacek's knee, 267 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:27,262 and Stephan's butt and jaw were just featured 268 00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,525 in a Calvin Klein magazine ad! 269 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,005 I took a look. It's nice. 270 00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,355 But do they have what I have? 271 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:34,835 An exaggerated sense of self-worth? 272 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,967 A big toe with a really small nail? 273 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:38,665 I was going to say the nail thing. 274 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:41,058 Barry magic. 275 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,538 So there's only one thing to do. 276 00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,975 Nothing. It's obviously nothing. 277 00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:48,544 I will shame their boyfriends with my intense masculinity 278 00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:51,112 until they are forced to leave under a cloud of humiliation. 279 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:52,722 How would that help anything? 280 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:55,377 It will force my exes to admit their undying love for me. 281 00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:59,424 Then, after many tears, we can all begin to heal. 282 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,209 I guess from a twisted, shoehorned, 283 00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:04,081 almost 100% wrong point of view, that makes some sense. 284 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:06,562 - Some indeed. - Great news! 285 00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,695 Today, we're going to have some fun playing The Bach-lympics. 286 00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,610 It's a combination of "bachelor" and "Olympics." 287 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,089 Everybody gets it, Geoff. 288 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,917 Anyway, we're going to be playing games. 289 00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,746 Physical and mental challenges 290 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,315 that showcase one's dominance over weaker foes. 291 00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,143 It's perfect. 292 00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,927 Your tone and words suggest you're not approaching this 293 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,408 with the fun that's intended, but okay. 294 00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:29,324 I will crush these men under my Jordans. 295 00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:32,283 Or flip-flops if it's on the sand. 296 00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:33,850 This seems like a huge mistake. 297 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,722 I'm too tired and hungry to stop him. 298 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,201 I would not wear flip-flops with your weird big toe. 299 00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:45,035 Lou had cut our family from the wedding video tribute, 300 00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:46,515 and it was up to me to tell my mom. 301 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,648 Hey, Mr. Brown, is my mom around? 302 00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:50,650 She stepped out to yell at a wedding vendor. 303 00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,521 Something about destroying their entire lineage 304 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:53,914 if they don't get the stemware correct. 305 00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,698 She's a volatile lady. 306 00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,221 She's not gonna take what I have to say easy. 307 00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:59,833 Lay down your burden, Adam. 308 00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:02,966 I'm a deacon, and that means more than just driving 309 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:05,621 the church shuttle to and from the devotional softball game. 310 00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,667 That kind of sounds official. 311 00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:10,191 Lou's not including our family in the video montage at all. 312 00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:13,020 Oh, no! I can't know that! 313 00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:16,806 You have to tell your mother so her and Lou 314 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:20,114 can, uh, discuss this calmly and rationally, as adults. 315 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,029 Calm? Rational? 316 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,552 Those words don't sound like things my mom is 317 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:24,422 or ever will be. 318 00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:26,250 There's my Schmoo. 319 00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:28,252 Did you find out Lou's trying to steal the wedding yet? 320 00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:31,560 - How'd you know? - That overstuffed pastry bag was so obvious. 321 00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:34,084 Come on, dish the dirt to Mama. 322 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,565 He's not using a single photo of us in the video. 323 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,654 But we can still be reasonable about this. 324 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,525 I'll be as reasonable with the seating chart 325 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,310 as he's being with the video. 326 00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,834 Say hello to the parking lot, Lou's cousin Glen. 327 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,794 Oh, but Cousin Glen's flying in from Shaker Heights! 328 00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,970 - I can't be a part of this. - Too late. 329 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,362 You are gonna go destroy that tape 330 00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:52,799 if you have to burn the place to the ground. 331 00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:55,192 That's arson. 332 00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,977 Only if you get caught. Go! 333 00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,674 Thanks for the help, Deacon Do Nothing. 334 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,502 Only God can judge me. 335 00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,896 And I imagine he isn't pleased. 336 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,854 While my mom was settling the score with Lou, 337 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,030 Barry was attempting to score in The Bach-lympics. 338 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,555 Okay, one, two, three, toss! 339 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,253 First was the egg toss. 340 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:16,736 Damn it, Naked Rob! How about a heads up? 341 00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,476 Next was the quick change. 342 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:19,956 Alright, Stephan and I are done! 343 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:26,093 Ooh-la-la! That's what I'm taking home. 344 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:27,398 This is rigged! 345 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,574 Stephan's a model! He changes clothes for a living! 346 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,881 And then came the name-guessing game. 347 00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:33,448 Okay, it's two words. The first is your dream job. 348 00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:34,710 - Ninja. - No. 349 00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:36,364 - Vampire hunter. - No. 350 00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:37,365 Intercontinental -wrestling champion? - No! 351 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,193 And time. 352 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:41,543 "Dr. Zhivago"? 353 00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,893 That's not anyone's name. I demand a fourth do-over. 354 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,243 No. And it's time to check our leaderboard. 355 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,462 Ooh! 356 00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:48,855 Impossible! 357 00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:51,161 Barry... You're all cheating 358 00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,033 by being knowledgeable about your partners and the world! 359 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,644 Off I go! 360 00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:58,342 As my brother had lost his grip on the Steves, 361 00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:01,519 my mom had sent me to get my hands on Lou's wedding tribute. 362 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:04,000 Hey. Did you finish the video yet? 363 00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:06,307 Just slapped my "a film by" credit on 364 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,178 to let the crew know they're just cogs. 365 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:11,181 And just like that, I was alone with the tape. 366 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,227 It would be so easy to destroy. 367 00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:15,403 Hello, Adam. 368 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:16,796 Or not. 369 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,754 What have you got in your hand there? 370 00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:19,711 Just your finished video. 371 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,626 Easy now. 372 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,326 Set the tape down, slow. 373 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,894 I think I'm gonna hold onto it for a sec. 374 00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:29,330 Don't do anything stupid, son. 375 00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,335 There! 376 00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:35,553 We're all safe now. 377 00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,338 Argh! Dr. Schwartz, please! 378 00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,557 As a doctor, a pillar of the community, 379 00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:41,864 and as a father, don't do this. 380 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,039 Be the bigger man. 381 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:45,520 Maybe you're right. 382 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,348 Maybe I have taken this too far. 383 00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:48,610 It's okay. 384 00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:50,699 You're not the only one. 385 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,919 You should see what my mom was doing to the seating chart. 386 00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:54,355 - Oh? - Well, let's just say 387 00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:56,531 your family was pushed behind the carving station. 388 00:13:56,705 --> 00:13:58,750 I understand. 389 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:01,101 I don't understand! 390 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,755 Cousin Marlene is in the overflow room? 391 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:06,367 - She has a palsied foot! - You like that? 392 00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:09,239 Well, wait till you see where I put your parents. 393 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:12,068 The freight elevator, next to Great Uncle Yankel? 394 00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,157 You with Bev, you get 395 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:15,463 Okay, there's the low point. 396 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:18,466 - The wedding is off! - And yet lower we go. 397 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,208 You can't call the wedding off because I'm calling it off. 398 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:22,557 Neither of you can call it off. 399 00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:23,950 Fine! The wedding is back on, 400 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,517 but I will make sure it is terrible for you. 401 00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:29,259 Oh, you don't know terrible! 402 00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:32,262 Trust me, no one knows terrible more than she does, man. 403 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,656 As the wedding battle hit a fever pitch, 404 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:37,659 my brother was taking one last swing at beating the Steves. 405 00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,748 The trophy goes to... 406 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:43,012 Me! Or it will, after our last competition, 407 00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:47,625 a rap battle between me and Dr. Steve for 100 points. 408 00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:48,757 You're behind by 200. 409 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,194 One million points. 410 00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:52,369 Yeah, let me just check the rules. 411 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,589 - No. - It's agreed. 412 00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:55,895 Dr. Steve, do you accept my challenge, 413 00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:58,288 or do you admit defeat? 414 00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,421 Sorry, um, I was on the phone with the Suns' gorilla. 415 00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:01,726 He twisted his ankle on a trampoline jam. 416 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,206 Are you talking to me? 417 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,252 Barry, can I talk to you privately? 418 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:07,776 Not now. I'm about to drop some funky cold medina. 419 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:10,431 Okay, Big Tasty, you can begin or whatever. 420 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:13,260 ♪ Dr. Steve Older than the hills 421 00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,697 ♪ You gotta help him walk or he'll take big spills 422 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:18,526 ♪ Hollywood Steve ain't nothing like me 423 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,745 ♪ Just a poor man's Aames a wee Willie Wee 424 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,705 ♪ Stephan can't understand a word 425 00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:26,490 ♪ Body by Jake but the face of a turd 426 00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:29,624 ♪ And then there's me the greatest ex-boyfriend 427 00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:32,975 ♪ The man who rocked the world of Lainey that one and Ren! ♪ 428 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,025 Wow. 429 00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:41,157 I mean, I think we have our winner, 430 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:44,334 but what the heck, I will give it a try. 431 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,597 Do I have to spit - as much as he did? - Please don't. 432 00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:49,731 ♪ Geoff and Erica, a love born so true 433 00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:52,342 ♪ For him and for her there's nothing they won't do 434 00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:54,954 ♪ When Geoff first saw you his loving heart was slain 435 00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,608 ♪ A woman so strong who still had hands like the rain 436 00:15:57,782 --> 00:16:01,003 ♪ Delicate and soft a touch he needed 437 00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,527 ♪ So to his deepest passion this great man heeded 438 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:06,095 ♪ So together, they embark on their journey of love 439 00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,010 ♪ A God-given miracle from heaven above! ♪ 440 00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:13,798 That was amazing! 441 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,670 That made my entire weekend. 442 00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,759 Dr. Steve, how did you do that? 443 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,674 Well, I kind of channeled all the love I'm feeling 444 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:20,849 in this house, I guess. 445 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,590 I have two words for you... Nice job? 446 00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,853 You suck and you're old! 447 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,681 Well, that was five words, and I'm 36. 448 00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:29,292 My God, enough! 449 00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:31,555 This whole weekend, you've been trying to impress your exes, 450 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,253 barely paying attention to me. 451 00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:35,385 You're not over any of them. 452 00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:37,518 But at least now it's clear who you are over. 453 00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:38,780 Me. 454 00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:40,912 - Joanne, come on. - Mmm-mmm. 455 00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:48,311 Thanks to my mom and Lou, the wedding was falling apart. 456 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,096 So I decided to try and put it back together. 457 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:52,098 I need to make things right, and I need your help to do it. 458 00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,100 That's what Wesley said in season two's seminal episode, 459 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:56,232 "Requiem." Mr. Belvedere? 460 00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,104 Sorry. Sometimes, I forget the world at large 461 00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,280 doesn't share my passion for all things Belv. 462 00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,630 Look, I know if we work together, 463 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:05,850 we can make a wedding tribute video so magical, 464 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,417 it could end all this madness. 465 00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:09,506 But if you won't do it for love or art, 466 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,073 would you do it for money? 467 00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:11,943 You had me at money. 468 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:15,817 And just like that, we got down to work. 469 00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:18,080 We used Schwartz photos, Goldberg photos, 470 00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,213 even my home movies. 471 00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:22,867 And so I gathered the folks who needed to see it most. 472 00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,349 Up next, Mr. Belvedere. 473 00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:27,524 "Mr. Belvedere"? 474 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,352 I'll tell you what it's not, 475 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,833 loving pictures of our family set to a James Taylor song! 476 00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:34,096 Damn it, it happened again. 477 00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,185 Those trucker pills were supposed to keep me focused. 478 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,318 Can I go? I despise that fussbottom butler. 479 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:41,408 Maybe because he reminds you of you, 480 00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:43,366 a cranky buttinsky who oversteps his role! 481 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:44,933 Oh, hell no! 482 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,282 I will not stand here while you sully 483 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:47,979 Lynn Aloysius Belvedere's good name! 484 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,155 Aloysius? 485 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,113 Guys! We wanted to remind you 486 00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:53,159 that weddings are about coming together, 487 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:56,640 joining forces, and being better for it. 488 00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:58,599 Erica and Geoff are making a commitment 489 00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:01,428 to spend the rest of their lives together. 490 00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,082 Why can't you celebrate that? 491 00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:04,648 I have been. 492 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,476 At the exclusion of the Schwartzes! 493 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:09,000 He went too far with the video, 494 00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:10,785 but this all started with that wedding announcement. 495 00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,830 That was very hurtful. 496 00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:15,268 I know. I'm sorry. 497 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:17,444 It's just you're this accomplished eye doctor, 498 00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:20,055 and I'm just the mother of the bride. 499 00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:23,145 I wanted to feel important, too. 500 00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:26,627 Beverly, you're incredibly important. 501 00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:29,499 You raised a wonderful daughter 502 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:32,589 that we're beyond delighted to welcome into our family. 503 00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:34,374 And two great sons. 504 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:35,331 If you say so. 505 00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,421 You're right. 506 00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:39,944 I am a mother and a hero. 507 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,819 See, this is what it's all about. 508 00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:46,690 You know what? 509 00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:48,170 It is what it's all about. 510 00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,867 I have so much work to do. 511 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:53,219 Making a montage video that includes both of our families? 512 00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,656 No, man. I'm gonna take another crack at my Belv script. 513 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,571 Toodle-oo. 514 00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:59,529 While my mom and Lou were making things right, 515 00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:02,053 Barry was trying to figure out where he went wrong. 516 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,796 Can I ask you guys something, 517 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,885 based on your intimate knowledge of me? 518 00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,365 You and I kissed once at a party, 519 00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:11,672 but, sure, I'll give you life advice. 520 00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:15,545 Why do I always ruin the good things I have? 521 00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:19,158 Look, Bar, you're the best, but you can also be a little... 522 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:20,420 Emotionally out of control? 523 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,465 I was gonna say intense. 524 00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,467 And you're never better than when you're not worrying about 525 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:25,642 what other people think of you. 526 00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,775 Or trying to show off. 527 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:29,907 You have a giant heart, and you were a great boyfriend. 528 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:30,995 I was? 529 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,823 - Yes. - Absolutely. 530 00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:35,174 I thought your name was Gary until this weekend. 531 00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,828 Just be honest. No weird plans or schemes. 532 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,787 Just tell her how you feel. 533 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,005 I think I can do that. 534 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,051 We know you can. 535 00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,532 I don't know that you can, but maybe? 536 00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:52,234 Joanne, I know I've been a jerk. 537 00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,323 Yeah, you have. 538 00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:57,674 Look, all the women I ever dated 539 00:19:57,848 --> 00:20:00,938 are now with amazing men, so I freaked out. 540 00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:02,418 Because you're jealous. Yeah, I get it. 541 00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:05,291 Because I got scared that you might be the next one 542 00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,379 to leave me and go find your Steve. 543 00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:08,642 You really think that? 544 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:13,081 Seems to be the pattern. 545 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:16,302 Barry, I would never dump you for some amazing guy 546 00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:19,479 because you're my amazing guy. 547 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,961 You're my Steve. 548 00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:25,311 Guess I am the big winner this weekend. 549 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:26,703 Yeah, you are. 550 00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:28,618 ♪ Oh We both are. 551 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,794 ♪ Bring me higher love ♪ 552 00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:34,363 Weddings bring people together. 553 00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:35,973 The stress that comes with them 554 00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:37,453 can sometimes drive them apart. 555 00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:40,978 Give it up for Dr. Steve! 556 00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:43,981 But then again, what brings everybody back together 557 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:46,549 is remembering why they were all there in the first place. 558 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,595 'Cause when you celebrate love 559 00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,901 with the people you care about the most, 560 00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:53,469 there's no such thing as a bad seat. 561 00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:56,037 Don't worry, kids, the wedding is back on. 562 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,734 - What? - I don't even want to know. 563 00:20:57,908 --> 00:20:59,388 Even if getting there 564 00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:00,215 can sometimes be a little confusing. 565 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:06,830 Uh-oh. We still don't have a seat for your Aunt Edna. 566 00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:09,485 That woman is a pill. She always pats my belly and says, 567 00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:11,008 "Looks like you're having twins." 568 00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:12,749 Screw you, Aunt Edna! 569 00:21:12,923 --> 00:21:14,751 At least I have eyebrows. 570 00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:17,319 Well, why don't we put Aunt Edna in the caterer's kitchen? 571 00:21:17,493 --> 00:21:19,234 I like where your head's at. 572 00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:22,411 And I am not fond of my cousin Ronnie who still cleans pools, 573 00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:24,108 so why don't we put him in the smoking section? 574 00:21:25,545 --> 00:21:26,807 We work well together. 575 00:21:26,981 --> 00:21:28,374 Weddings really do bring out the best in people.