1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,336 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, 2 00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:03,771 my best friend was my grandfather. 3 00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,039 If there was something awesome to do, 4 00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:06,807 I was gonna tackle it with Pops, 5 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,776 and that week, that awesome thing would be 6 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,612 the most hyped movie of our time... Batman. 7 00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:12,746 Pops... Oh. 8 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,749 I have the biggest news in your 80-some years of life. 9 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:19,220 A Batman movie's coming out, and it's going to be awesome! 10 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,888 Batm'n? I'm in! 11 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,957 Me and your dad loved the old Adam West TV show. 12 00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,226 Didn't we, Murray? 13 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:27,661 (IMITATES ADAM WEST) It appears to me, Commissioner Gordon, 14 00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:32,500 that the Joker, Riddler, and the Catwoman have escaped. 15 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,934 What is that? What is he doing? 16 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,936 I think that's Adam West as Batm'n. 17 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:42,276 Your inability to identify this spot-on impression is criminal. 18 00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:44,945 Come on. Let's go see Adam West on the big screen 19 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,847 before your dad ruins it forever! 20 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,949 Actually, the new movie stars Michael Keaton. 21 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,319 The guy who plays Beetle-Buzz? Beetlejuice. 22 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:53,321 Beetle-Jazz can't be Batm'n. 23 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:57,191 There is only one Caped Crusader, and that is me. 24 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,360 Stop it! Why is he doing that weird voice? 25 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,794 'Cause we're going to see Batman. 26 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,730 I've been waiting to see that for months! 27 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,566 I'm gonna grab my coat and pound a couple of Jolts. 28 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:06,767 I wanna make sure I'm really wired 29 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,702 when I yell things back at the screen. 30 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,672 It appears the Batcave is all mine 31 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:16,009 to watch the Bat-Television in my Bat-Underpants. 32 00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:17,845 Stop it! Come on. Let's go. 33 00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,248 To the Batmobile! To the Bat-Recliner. 34 00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:21,949 Ah! 35 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,652 Oh, man. This is awesome. 36 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,988 Great movie, great seats, great snacks. 37 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,523 Doesn't get any better than this. 38 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,493 Is that seat taken? 39 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:33,561 Is that seat taken? 40 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:34,662 (GROANS) Okay. 41 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,330 Oh, no, it's Barry! 42 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,531 Is that seat taken? 43 00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:40,301 We invited Barry and forgot all about him. 44 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,002 Technically, he invited himself... Is that seat taken? 45 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,304 ...so I feel no remorse. 46 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,839 Yo! Can you move your wheelchair so I can sit there? 47 00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:49,210 Come on. He's your brother. We got to say sorry. 48 00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,944 Is that seat taken? Do we? 49 00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:53,581 Is that seat taken? I mean, everything is so perfect right now. 50 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,349 That seat taken? That seat's taken, too. 51 00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:58,419 It's just one little "sorry." He'll understand. 52 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,454 What the hell? 53 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:03,257 You guys ditched me, now I'm walking around like a schmuck, 54 00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:04,692 begging strangers to move over? 55 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,228 We were just so excited to see the movie. You get it. 56 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,029 I don't get it! 57 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,799 Where's my seat? I think there's a couple seats in the front row. 58 00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:14,568 So you expect me to sit alone in the front row, 59 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:17,371 craning my neck up at the giant screen like putz-bag? 60 00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,207 You don't have to do it like a putz-bag. 61 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,976 No way. It's only fair if we all sit in the terrible front row. 62 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,278 Pfft. How is that fair? 63 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,447 Two words... Family. 64 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,853 Okay, look, the movie's about to start. 65 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,989 Just sit up there, and... And we'll meet up afterwards. 66 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,291 Fine! 67 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,560 But this is the worst thing that anyone has ever done to me. 68 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,397 * I'm twisted up inside 69 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:47,000 * But nonetheless I feel the need to say 70 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:50,838 * I don't know the future 71 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:54,342 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 72 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,577 ADULT ADAM: It was April 5th, 1980-something. 73 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,746 My sister's senior year was cruising right along, 74 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,147 until this happened. 75 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,082 Question... What is this garbage? 76 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,219 Oh, goodie! You got your college interview for Penn State! 77 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,720 Thing is, I didn't schedule it, 78 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:07,788 and I'm not going. 79 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,923 Carnegie Mellon is the only school I care about. 80 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,459 Well, you always need a backup. 81 00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,327 That's why I always bake two pies, 82 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,596 in case Murray eats one while sleepwalking. 83 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,197 Mom, if I don't get into CMU, 84 00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,499 then I'm just gonna skip college 85 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,167 to busk on the street like a true artist. 86 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,169 So, what am I supposed to tell people? 87 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,805 "Oh, there's my daughter, singing next to a hobo 88 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,507 "who's going pishy on another hobo." 89 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,909 Penn State is amazing! 90 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:31,579 That place made your father everything he is today. 91 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,046 Bevy. 92 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,515 I lost another hot dog. 93 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,317 What? Why does this keep happening? 94 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,452 I guess 'cause my, uh, gesturing hand 95 00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,187 is also my hot-dog-holding hand. 96 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,855 I think my point here is proven. 97 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,291 Murray, your daughter thinks 98 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,859 she's too good to go to her Penn State interview. 99 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,128 Let's get something straight, little missy. 100 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,597 Graduating from Penn State 101 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:52,165 is the greatest accomplishment of my life. 102 00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:54,167 Too bad, Dad. I'm going to Carnegie Mellon. 103 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:55,769 You are going to Penn State. 104 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:58,205 It is cheaper, it's more affordable, 105 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,573 and it costs less! 106 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,675 That's the same thing said three different ways! 107 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:04,645 Well, if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for you. 108 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,779 Okay, fine. 109 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,880 I guess I didn't realize 110 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,148 how important this was to you. 111 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,383 I promise to take 112 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,319 my Penn State interview seriously. 113 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,853 ADULT ADAM: By "seriously", my sister meant 114 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,922 "intentionally tank" her Penn State interview. 115 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,724 Yo, dude! Sorry I'm two hours late. 116 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,459 Uh, well, three. (CHUCKLES) 117 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:19,860 No worries. Come on in! 118 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:23,030 Oh! Two points! 119 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,698 Oh! Wow. 120 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,767 There's not even a trash can there. (CHUCKLES) 121 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,101 Have a seat. (CLEARS THROAT) 122 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:31,038 I'm Kyle Schnitz, and it is very nice to meet you. 123 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,473 My favorite part of being an alum 124 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:36,009 is getting to interview all kinds of great students. 125 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,311 Oh, full disclosure. 126 00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,279 I'm not so much a, uh, great student 127 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,114 as I am a cheater. I'm sorry. 128 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:43,116 Aw! That's a cute dog you got there. 129 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:46,153 Oh. Uh, thank you. Yes, that's Ruffles. He's a rescue. 130 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,388 No, I'm talking about your wife. 131 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,690 Boom! Upstairs! (CHUCKLES) 132 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,693 Just gonna leave me hanging like that? 133 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:53,927 Lame. 134 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,997 Let's just forge onward, shall we? Um, so... 135 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,767 What programs at Penn State are you most excited to... 136 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,802 Oh, my! What are you doing? 137 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,271 (MUFFLED) Taking on this meatball sub like a champ. 138 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,039 Want some, Kenny? It's... Kyle. 139 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,842 Uh, would you please not get sauce all over my... 140 00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,711 Gah! Damn it! That's my name placard! 141 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,881 All right. Let me, uh, cut to the chase here, Kyle. 142 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,517 I am one hell of a singer. I mean, check out these pipes. 143 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,185 (CLEARS THROAT) 144 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:22,390 * Kyle Schnitz smells like farts 145 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:26,193 * Oh, stinky, stinky farts 146 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,595 That was right off the top of the dome. 147 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:28,929 And interview over! 148 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,498 ADULT ADAM: The only thing more uncomfortable 149 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:33,066 than Erica's interview was Barry's seat at the movie. 150 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:37,971 Wait till they get a load of me. 151 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:41,442 What's happening? This isn't like the TV show at all. 152 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,310 I know! It's so awesome! 153 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,078 ADULT ADAM: He certainly was to me. 154 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:47,915 But to Pops, his Batman was from the old TV show. 155 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,049 This is crazy. 156 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,552 You really think Adam West is the better Batman? 157 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:52,786 He's the only Batm'n. 158 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:56,857 And this new fancy movie forgot the best part! 159 00:05:56,890 --> 00:06:00,994 Where were the "POWs" and "BAMs" when Batm'n socks the Joker? 160 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,531 I'm not so sure you need to see big cartoon words 161 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:04,765 when Bat punches a dude. 162 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,199 We'll just watch the old show, 163 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,835 and then you'll see what I'm talking about. 164 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,770 Well, no matter which Batman is better, 165 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,672 at least we can agree we had an awesome day together. 166 00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,274 (CLATTERING) 167 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:18,245 What the hell? 168 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,312 Oh, no. Balls. 169 00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:20,881 Balls is right, man! 170 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:24,017 Who exactly are you talking to right now? You! 171 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,620 My neck is just jacked up from sitting in the front row. 172 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:30,157 We were bickering about Batm'n, and forgot you were up there. 173 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:33,360 But this always happens! You two do everything without me! 174 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,095 Well, I know this looks bad, 175 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,965 but we never leave you out of the fun! 176 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,166 (OVEN TIMER DINGS) What was that? 177 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,734 Nothing. What's in the oven, dudes? 178 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,470 Don't look in the oven, Barry. You better not be doing 179 00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,171 what I think you're doing. Don't look in the oven! 180 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,441 I'm going to the oven! I'm looking inside! 181 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,611 Oh, my God! 182 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:55,115 You two made Batman Shrinky Dinks... 183 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,150 Without me? 184 00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:00,454 You know I live for shrinking dinks. 185 00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,490 We know that. Everyone knows that! 186 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,192 There's only two shrunken dinks, man! 187 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,761 Not three dinks. Just two! 188 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:11,231 Yeah, 'cause it's one dink for me and one dink for you. 189 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,535 Don't! Just don't. 190 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:15,803 (OVEN DOOR CLOSES) 191 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,738 You're gonna pay for this. 192 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,240 Oh, Barry, come back. 193 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,942 You can have my dink. 194 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:25,012 You can have my dink, Barry! 195 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,179 BEVERLY: Murray! 196 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,516 Your daughter has some huge news! 197 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,350 Erica, tell your father all about... 198 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,152 Okay, I can't stand it anymore! 199 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,722 She said she killed in her interview... Killed! 200 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,490 Whoo-hoo! That's my peanut! 201 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,992 Yep! I really made an impression on the Penn State guy. 202 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:41,261 Like, he's never gonna forget me. 203 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,164 (LAUGHING) Oh, my God. I'm so happy, I could (BLEEP) 204 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,233 That's actually, uh, good timing, 205 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,703 'cause Carnegie Mellon just sent you a letter, 206 00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:51,104 and it's kind of thin. 207 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,173 Oh, no! It is thin! 208 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,609 If they said yes, they wouldn't send the thin one! 209 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,545 Wait. Maybe they, uh, just sent a pre-letter 210 00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,446 to tell me that the thick one's on the way, and... 211 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,414 Son of a bitch! 212 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:02,916 I got rejected! 213 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,252 Carnegie Mellon rejected my baby? 214 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:07,788 (SCOFFS) Well, I'm never buying another melon! 215 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:11,859 From this moment on, this family eats tree fruits only. 216 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,561 No more scoopable fruits. You hear me? 217 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,029 Good news, though. You got your backup. 218 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:19,767 Yes! That is good news, that I have a backup. 219 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,035 Murray's an alum, and you will be, too. 220 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,637 Penn State is happening. 221 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,639 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 222 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:29,042 Well, um... I have to go for, uh... 223 00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,944 For a reason I can't think of right now, 224 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,646 but it's real, so bye. 225 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,117 Hey! Oh, no! She's back. 226 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,987 It's okay! It's me, Erica Goldberg. 227 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,122 Uh, yeah. I remember. 228 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:46,393 I'm going to my car now, and my secretary knows I'm down here. 229 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,395 Wait. No. Don't walk away from me. 230 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,130 Or run! 231 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,599 Don't make me chase you, Schnitz! 232 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,466 Oh, God. My secretary has no idea where I am. 233 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,935 I slipped out to go to my pottery class! 234 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,204 Look, I know I messed up my interview, 235 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,405 but I have my reasons! 236 00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,440 I only tanked it on purpose out of spite! 237 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,209 That's even worse than being crazy. 238 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,111 I'm not crazy, and this proves it! 239 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,846 Look at my teacher recommendations! (CAR ENGINE STARTS) 240 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,348 Just look at them! Damn it! 241 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,151 You are nuts, lady! And I have good SATs! Ow! 242 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,453 I need to get a will. And I played soccer in the 10th grade! 243 00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:16,256 I was also Model U.N. Treasurer! (TIRES SQUEAL) 244 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,628 I think that helped. 245 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,230 ADULT ADAM: With that, Erica officially lost her backup school. 246 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,365 Meanwhile, Pops was giving me an education 247 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,100 on the old version of Batman. 248 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,703 See that? It's a camera trick. 249 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,472 Th... They shoot it sideways. Yeah, I got it. 250 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,341 Now, this is Batm'n! 251 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:35,709 ADULT ADAM: Little did I know, 252 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,645 my scorned brother was lurking in the shadows 253 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:40,147 and planning a dastardly revenge plot to ensure 254 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,950 that me and my grandfather would never forget him again. 255 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,752 (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) 256 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:45,853 (LAUGHS EVILLY) 257 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,789 What? 258 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,057 ADULT ADAM: Like the Joker himself, 259 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,258 Barry set a treacherous trap 260 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,560 that would destroy the dynamic duo forever. 261 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,996 Adam! Come quick! It's an emergency! 262 00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,833 Oh! Thanks for dropping by. 263 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,368 You said it was an emergency. 264 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,170 A hang-with-my-bro emergency. 265 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,672 Here, have a seat. 266 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,373 No! 267 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,441 This chair. 268 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,780 And action... 269 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,715 Is my favorite movie genre. 270 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:18,852 Which reminds me, I saw you watching that old Batman TV show. 271 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,153 Pops was right. 272 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:22,089 Adam West is better than Keaton. 273 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,624 Pops doesn't know the first thing about Batman. 274 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:27,394 He doesn't even say it right. He says "Batm'n." 275 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,797 But you told Pops you love his show. 276 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,598 It kind of sounds like you lied to his face. 277 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,501 I had to. It's just... It's so corny! 278 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:35,669 Say it louder. 279 00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:37,104 I mean, it made no sense at all. 280 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,072 They had a bat-calendar. 281 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,474 Move more into the light. And bat shark repellant? 282 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:45,045 Why would a superhero even have that on his utility belt? Why? 283 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,681 So you don't just reject Pops' Batman. 284 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:50,083 You reject Pops as a human old person? 285 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,885 Nah, I'm just humoring him. 286 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,654 All that old-timey stuff he likes, it's just not for me. 287 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:55,856 And cut. 288 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,324 Why would you say that? No reason. 289 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,491 I always like our talks. 290 00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,861 Go away now. Come on. Come on. 291 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,096 ADULT ADAM: And with that, my brother had everything he needed 292 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:06,566 to become a villain that could even rival Jack Nicholson's Joker. 293 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:08,869 Wait till they get a load of me. 294 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,271 What'd you say? Nothing! Go away now! 295 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,375 Wait till they get a load of... 296 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:18,211 Nope. Moment's passed. Damn it. 297 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,851 ADULT ADAM: It had been a day since my sister's Penn State disaster, 298 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:27,054 and our parents still didn't know until now. 299 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,822 Hey, folks, no need for alarm, 300 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:31,491 except for the incredibly alarming phone call I just got. 301 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,327 It seems that Erica tanked her interview with Penn State, 302 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,930 and then attacked the man in a parking garage. 303 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,531 What? What have you done, child? 304 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,666 It's not my fault! 305 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,534 Dad said I had to go to Penn State, 306 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,370 and I wanted CMU, and now I have nothing, 307 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,538 and, dear Lord, this is a disaster! 308 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,040 Look, you folks can relax 309 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,609 because ol' Glascott has the solution. 310 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:50,978 Good. Thank God. 311 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,312 I have failed as a mother. 312 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:56,283 Are any of you familiar with the International Correspondence School? 313 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,986 Do you want to make more money? Sure, we all do. 314 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,054 You may have seen their catchy TV commercials 315 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,423 starring America's sweetheart, Sally Struthers. 316 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:04,825 Don't. Ooh, look! 317 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:05,926 In just two short years, 318 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,928 you can get a degree in TV/VCR repair. 319 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,662 But I don't want to fix TVs! 320 00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,464 Well, luckily, you have a bunch of other options... 321 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:14,067 Gun repair, child daycare, 322 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,903 learning the personal computer. 323 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,205 We're seeing the same thing you are! 324 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,672 You don't have to read it out loud! 325 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,608 Interior decorating? Cooking? 326 00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,476 Art? Air condition and maintenance? 327 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,678 I mean, what does this school not have? 328 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,547 A campus. This is a nightmare! 329 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,316 Okay, let's all just take a breath. 330 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,018 We've got one card left to play. 331 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,886 Murray, you're an alum. 332 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,055 You'll go down there and straighten this whole mess out. 333 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,857 Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea. 334 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,758 What? Why not? She made her bed, 335 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,928 and now she's gonna have to lie in it! 336 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,163 Kid's got to learn. Yeah. In college. 337 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,465 Okay, I am not getting involved. 338 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:48,601 End of story! Do not pry! 339 00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:49,736 Shh! 340 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,771 Well, I am getting you into Penn State. 341 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,842 No child of mine will deal with the consequences of her actions! 342 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:55,943 Excuse me. 343 00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,710 1-800... 344 00:12:57,744 --> 00:13:00,247 ADULT ADAM: As Erica's college career went up in flames, 345 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,549 my plan to shoot a Batman movie with Pops 346 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:03,817 was about to be shut down. 347 00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:05,853 Well, well, well. 348 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,255 If it isn't Adamander Goldberg in the flesh. 349 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,223 Adamander? We need to talk, my friend. 350 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,492 You think Adam is short for Adamander? 351 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:13,793 It's time to pay the piper. 352 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,229 Do you think it's like Alexander? Forget the name! 353 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,764 You got other things to worry about. 354 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,299 ADULT ADAM: Did I ever. 355 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,569 At that very moment, Pops would stumble upon a secret recording of me 356 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,037 bashing him and all he held dear. 357 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,472 (ON RECORDING) Nah, I'm just humoring him. 358 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,574 All that old-timey stuff he likes, 359 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:28,909 it's just not for me. 360 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,944 Oh, no. I said awful things 361 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,679 about his terrible version of Batman. 362 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,948 Yes you did. 363 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:39,452 For once, Pops is gonna be in my stupid home movie. 364 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,222 "Rad: The Barry Goldberg Story." 365 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:46,293 No! You can't put that wonderful elderly man in a BMX movie! 366 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,361 I don't think you'll be stopping me. 367 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,034 No! You can't do this! 368 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,602 Okay. This isn't a problem. 369 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,204 I'll just grab my toolbox and... 370 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,873 Damn it! I don't have real-world skills. 371 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,943 Or a utility belt with actual utilities! 372 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,112 Well, well, looks like you wanted to get into Penn State 373 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,480 a little bit more than you thought, hmm, Miss Goldberg? 374 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:10,951 She does, and we are so, so grateful 375 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,220 that you agreed to meet with us today, 376 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,923 and Erica is very sorry for her behavior. 377 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:19,526 I really am. I mean, stalking you in the garage 378 00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,729 and singing a hurtful song about you smelling like poots 379 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:26,233 and comparing your wife's appearance to that of a canine... 380 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,168 It's all very... 381 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,836 Not good. 382 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,505 I might also add, she ate a sandwich on my desk. 383 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,342 Which reminds me, you know, I never had my lunch. 384 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,911 Would you mind if I rudely devoured this and wasted your time? 385 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,179 Okay, I deserve that. 386 00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:42,549 Mmm, that is very messy. 387 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,051 All right, well, I made my point, okay? 388 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,986 Well, it might interest you to know 389 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,887 that my husband, Murray Goldberg, 390 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:51,024 is an active alum of this school. 391 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,692 An active alum? 392 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,094 Active. Damn it. Fine. 393 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,197 Well, I'm sure we can, uh, work something out. (CHUCKLES) 394 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,466 Just take a look. 395 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:02,569 Huh. It appears that Mr. Goldberg is not, 396 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,804 in fact, a graduate of Penn State. 397 00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,573 What? How dare you! 398 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,275 Oh, see for yourself. 399 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:12,079 He's one credit shy of graduation. 400 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,548 I say I'd earned a celebratory bite, hmm? 401 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,017 (CHUCKLES) 402 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:20,320 (GROANS) Oh, Schnitz! I messed myself. 403 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,455 I messed myself. 404 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:26,193 College dropout? I'm married to a college dropout? 405 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,694 You're a college dropout! 406 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,297 I dropped out to marry you, dropout! 407 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,764 So this is why you wouldn't help, 408 00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,833 because you've been lying for three decades? 409 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,836 I feel bad, and I say that from the bottom of my heart 410 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,938 and also to end this conversation! 411 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,040 This is nuts. 412 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,209 You both lectured me my entire life 413 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:43,876 on how important college is, 414 00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:46,746 and now I find out that neither of you even graduated? 415 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,348 I was one credit short! 416 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:52,752 You know, if I eat 99% of a sandwich, I still at a sandwich! 417 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,787 This isn't a sandwich! It's my future! 418 00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,156 Look, it doesn't matter what I did. 419 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,457 I'm still your father, 420 00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,492 and you're not skipping out on college. 421 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,462 I am done taking life advice from a hypocrite. 422 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,164 Since none of these colleges will take me, 423 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,333 I am just gonna focus on my music 424 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:10,237 and busk on the streets like a true artist! 425 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,505 Why didn't you back me up on the sandwich metaphor? 426 00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:15,708 Well, I hope you're happy. Your daughter's a busker. 427 00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:17,244 We've lost her to the streets. 428 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:18,445 Busking? 429 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,380 ADULT ADAM: As Erica walked out on her college future, 430 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,882 Pops had stumbled right into Barry's supervillain trap, 431 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,384 and it was foolproof. 432 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:29,089 (SIGHS) Adam said some pretty nasty words about everything you love. 433 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,224 Can't imagine what you must be thinking right now. 434 00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:33,393 I think you secretly taped Adam 435 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:36,129 in a weird attempt to turn us against each other. 436 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,864 How dare you, sir! 437 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:40,667 You told Adam to stand in better light. 438 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,570 You really need to learn how to grift someone, kiddo. 439 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:47,174 If anything, you should be angry at Adam! 440 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:50,777 He's the one who bad-mouthed you while I happened to be filming! 441 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,011 Yeah, where's Adam? 442 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,746 ADULT ADAM: I was trapped with no way out. 443 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,582 Think, Adamander! Think! 444 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:56,883 ADULT ADAM: And then I saw it. 445 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,586 My sheets served as my own Bat-Signal. 446 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,021 Forget the Batman movie and TV show. 447 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,891 I'd be the greatest Dark Knight Gotham had ever seen! 448 00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:08,128 I told you! Adam's long gone! 449 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,329 Whoa! (THUDS) 450 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,365 That looks so much easier on TV! 451 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,469 Adam, are you okay? No! 452 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,338 This crazy man locked me in my room 453 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,107 so he could make a dirt-biking movie with you! 454 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,142 Barry, why would you do this? 455 00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,776 The kid could have gotten real hurt. 456 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,678 I just had enough. Enough of what? 457 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,414 Of you two leaving me out! 458 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:31,284 All my life, you guys have been the dynamic duo... 459 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:35,255 Having fun, making awesome movies... 460 00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,358 Did it ever occur to you, just once, maybe I'd like to be included? 461 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,928 Barry, you're my grandson, too. You know I love you. 462 00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,463 It doesn't feel like that, Pops. 463 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,404 ADULT ADAM: With her college dreams dashed, 464 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,473 Erica would busk her way to fame and fortune. 465 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,176 Naturally, she'd rely on the greatest song of the '80s. 466 00:17:56,209 --> 00:18:00,847 * Gonna take a lot to take me away from you 467 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,550 * There's nothing that a hundred men or more... 468 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,951 (GASPS) 469 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,386 Gah! Gross! 470 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,522 * I bless the rains down in a... 471 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,124 (GASPS) Damn it! 472 00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:14,961 * Gonna take more than that to make me leave this pla... 473 00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,197 Gah! Come on! 474 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:21,468 * I hate the rains down in Jenkintown * 475 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,236 ADULT ADAM: While Erica's dreams broke down, 476 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,805 me and Pops were ready to build Barry back up. 477 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:26,873 Hi. 478 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,008 Hey. 479 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,844 So, me and Pops are starting our Batman movie, 480 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,281 but we couldn't decide which Batman was better, 481 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,483 so we're gonna have both. Sounds fun. 482 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:39,552 Actually, we thought you could have some fun with us. 483 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:43,089 Really? I mean, we got the superheroes, 484 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,724 but no one for us to fight. 485 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,394 I don't know. I didn't really like being the Joker. 486 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,229 I think this time you will. 487 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,231 Follow us. 488 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:57,103 No way! A BMX Batman movie? 489 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,572 Look, we never meant to leave you out, 490 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:03,476 and now that you're here, I say we turn the dynamic duo 491 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,512 into the fearsome threesome! 492 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:12,485 * It's really getting soaked down in Jenkintown 493 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:15,788 * There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do * 494 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,858 How's it going? It's going great. 495 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,661 Listen, I realized you were right about me, 496 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:25,164 screaming at you all these years about finishing college, 497 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,933 and I didn't even see it through. 498 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,336 So you're not gonna make me go home and apply to new schools? 499 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,003 I'd like to, but I can't, 500 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,972 not after lying to you all these years. 501 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,642 So that's it? Tell me I'm a moron! 502 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,610 Tell me not to give up on myself! 503 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:38,978 Tell me to apply to new schools 504 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,913 and make something of my stupid life! 505 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,982 Sounds like I don't have to say anything 506 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,617 because you already know it. 507 00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:45,918 I guess you're right. 508 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:51,123 I also know that if I'm gonna start college, then you're gonna finish it. 509 00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,393 Hey, I do high-level accounting every day. 510 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,927 It's one credit. Come on. 511 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,964 Okay, fine. 512 00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,832 If you're willing to see it through... 513 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,034 So can I. 514 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,504 ADULT ADAM: That day, my dad was the hero who saved Erica, 515 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,373 and she ended up saving him right back. 516 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,841 And that night, I finally got the chance 517 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:12,512 to be the Dark Knight, with my superfamily by my side. 518 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:14,647 The Joker's on the loose. 519 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:15,715 To the Batmobile. 520 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:19,151 To the better Batmobile. 521 00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,388 ADULT ADAM: Because in the end, the greatest superheroes 522 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,890 ...don't have powers or wear capes. 523 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:25,492 They're the people who stick with us 524 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,260 through the greatest adventure of all... 525 00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:28,428 Growing up. 526 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:32,098 * I bless the rains down in Africa * 527 00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,167 Truth is, it's not how many gadgets we have in our utility belt 528 00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:36,269 that get us through life. 529 00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:38,938 What really saves the day are the loved ones 530 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:41,107 who stand by our side and help us fight 531 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,109 to make our dreams come true. 532 00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:59,592 I am... Super! 533 00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,963 POPS: Batm'n. Batman. 534 00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,465 That's what I said... Batm'n. 535 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,066 No, you're saying, "Batm'n." 536 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,469 Listen... "I'm Batman!" 537 00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:10,870 "I'm Batm'n." 538 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,307 "I'm Batman!" "I'm Batm'n." 539 00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:16,208 "I'm Batman!" "I'm Batm'n." 540 00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:18,411 What on Earth are you two doing? 541 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,647 No need to be alarmed, citizen. 542 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,515 We are crime-fighting professionals. 543 00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:25,385 Get off the side of the house, or I'll kill both Batmans. 544 00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:26,753 See, that's how you say it. 545 00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,223 I'm walking off this picture.